INFJ Personality Type Secret | PersonalityHacker.com

[@Personalityhacker]

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[@daneillesaunders9659]

Personality Hacker is it common for an infj to do the test and can't stop thinking if the test is right

[@chriswallace8484]

I have watched quite a few videos now on INFJs. One of my ex loves of my life recommended that I check one out. This was the less than a week ago. I was blown away. I had no idea there were other people anything like me. I actually cried watching a podcast video of yours; multiple times. I haven't even taken the test because I don't have I already know. I wanted to thank both of you. For not disregarding the personality type secret. Because it does sound crazy and I just know almost everyone that I've ever met does not understand. There are only two people ever for me who did and I'm 40 years old this year. That being said, I have turned the pain into my greatest strength. I use the empathy and my language skills to help people who I find innocent and in need. A 13 year old boy on Xbox just last night asked me if he could talk to me whenever he's feeling bad. All because I am empowered him with his own insecurities. He told me that it bothered him when his friends joked about is race. I told him, "some people just have a better tan than others". I told him by letting the n-word bother him he is giving the word power. I told him when his white friends call him the n-word, call them the n-word and laugh. That takes all of the power away. I truly believe that any of us can change the world with one kind act or one kind word. Everyone I know calls me a philosopher, specifically, Socrates. "Do good when no one is watching" "don't carry around other people's misery" and "forgive yourself". Those 3 quotes that I practice even before I said them out loud to anyone; have gotten me plenty of responses. I show people positivity by example never seeking anything in return. And my specific purpose is more for them not just because I want to be a good person. I want to show them it's okay to be a good person. it's actually the power of fighting depression. Putting in name to what I felt since I was born is a wonderful feeling. I truly appreciate both of you. I feel patience, kindness and compassion from either one of you. I was meant to find your channel and videos. It is all fate in my eyes. If I predict things in my life more than coincidence; it has to be because of string theory. We are all connected, we are all the universe and the universe is conscious. (God) I have a feeling one of you was meant to read this. You are helping the universe become a better place. With more life more love. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

[@DharminaIna]

thank you

[@robynpeterson6805]

What about our internal contradictions? We want to be noticed but hate attention. We want to be alone but want companionship. We want to help you but it costs us our serenity. We want to go out with friends but don't want to leave the house. I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself about things that don't make any sense, yet make perfect sense. I feel like that's another secret of ours that we live with silently and on a daily basis.

[@jaydencparker4968]

The INFJ Paradox. I know what you mean. All those times of wanting to "be alone with someone". Very rare experience to have.

[@thecdnwanderer]

Aw man, I relate to every one of these contradictions you've listed! The battle is real!

[@nardenehailwood5441]

yes!!!!

[@victoriaburnett5849]

Dear God! were ghosts!!

[@victoriaburnett5849]

who cant spell

[@paola4uchi]

My INFJ secret: I'm always making the conscious decision not to be cruel, despite the opportunities (oh the opportunities).

[@blkgrl31]

Damned empathy.

[@paola4uchi]

I feel you.

[@ChiefClickClack2015]

I know *exactly* what you mean!! We can read people so clearly, that if we wanted...we could scathe them very easily (especially concerning their selfish motives)

[@sproutbliss]

Omg omg I just typed this on another video!!! I see so many chances to be devastatingly cruel and whenever I have taken those chances in the past I have always regretted it!! Unless the person like really deserves it like if they are abusing someone or something. Of course. Haha

[@backtoasimplelife]

I do know what you mean. You want to "oust" them. Many times I have been tempted to do that, and there have been times I felt it necessary to do so. Sometimes it would work against me to do it, so I bite my lip. :) Decisions, decisions.

[@AudiaJean]

So many people come across as fake to me. I can see right through them. It is a very depressing reality and it makes it really hard to trust others.

[@backtoasimplelife]

+Andrea Ade Yes, I can see this as well. I am to the point where I just think to myself "what are they afraid of?" Having said that, I have come to realize that there are times where *I* choose to stay superficial in an encounter, because my radar senses that this is a person with whom I don't desire to develop a connection to. SO, maybe it's vice versa - maybe there are others who have an encounter with me and sense that *I* am a person with whom they do not wish to "go deeper" with, and I am *mis*interpreting it is superficiality!

[@AudiaJean]

Interesting perspective.. and even more depressing.

[@backtoasimplelife]

+Andrea Ade I thought it was a realization that was actually freeing. I'm sorry that you feel that way. Please explain.

[@AudiaJean]

+Bobbi Clinger life is about connecting with others. Otherwise what is the point? There's no reason to be fake. Why even waste your time communicating with someone if you have no interest in them whatsoever?

[@backtoasimplelife]

+Andrea Ade Sure, authentic connections are important. And you will connect with others, presumably those with which you have some things in common. I guess I should clarify - I define someone being fake as someone who is trying to be someone who they aren't. Are you sure it's fakeness, or could it be choosing to stay superficial?

[@zoeng3757]

I always feel like I'm in a film just observing everyone around me

[@kavinavanjana2480]

So true

[@mashalahmad4705]

Hell same.

[@sad_is_fiction]

Same

[@cdcs_edits]

I’m getting Lexi Howard (Euphoria) vibes!

[@roseyyhues-1494]

As an INFJ, the loneliness is the worst. I have family and I have friends but none of the relationships are very fulfilling, I feel like none of them really get me and know me. I have this hope that one day a person will come along with whom I'll really connect, and the desire is getting stronger while the hope is decreasing as I now realize the chances are small, and that it's not the people around me. It's me.

[@robynpeterson6805]

I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand and resonate with what you said. It can be a very lonely life. :(

[@anakulic4143]

I came to the same conclusion. It's me not them :/

[@sirphil13]

Yep, me too. It sometimes feels like I'm from another planet but I'm also in a connection way with everyone collectively if I want, and in a profound sense, with the universe as a whole. Yes, I agree about the loneliness vibe, some people go thru our different layers, then stops they cant go further or too deep for them or capacity to access the many more layers underneath , so I lose a slight connection..I don't interpreted as the worst though, my vibe feels we are all one, we are the universe. Ok, heavy, right right. To me it's the pathology that are the worst, It seems are small percent in INFJ in society, we were given unique senses to pick up on the person we interact with or sense / spot in crowds..to metaphorical, spot the "vampires" in all societies, sucks life out other others, drains a persons self esteem after interacting but you don't know how you feel a little drained after talking to one.. In other words, vampires are narcissists and cluster B's , and I see part of the mission, that we are qualify to be the Vampire hunters.(narcissism is growing). Hunters in a sense in helping kill the vampire inside shadow growth people.The tools used in vampire stories, all cultures around the world has myths about vampires or vampire like creatures to teach the locals the dangers, and story explain how it's defeated . For Example, vampires roam in the "darkness"-it's basically shadow archetypal versions of their personality thats under developed. , so are kept in the dark from other people's good thriving harmony, or how about the use of "a mirror" on the vampire..the mirror..is INFJ absorbing then reflecting it back to them their own destructive behavior to let them see themselves in the mirror for the first time-and they get scared about their look and they run. "Holy water" and "holy cross" is references to an ancient personal self growth system that Cluster B-types need to go thru or grow up and mature..to join the good people of the human race,-(i.e. The Bible- holy water/cross)- the Bible in one sense, not to offend, but grasping it's whole conception and applying it to be saved, not do evil-our animal side is selfish and etc..practice the bible it's about saying your animal is bad ( not me, I disagree, need dark and light to be a whole person..we are part of the animal kingdom for a reason, don't deny it), but unique because we use a layer of the brain most animals lack in evolution: our neo-cortex which is basically maturity, and steer your animal nature..dig, homies? The "Stake" through the heart is INFJ ultimate attack back, we dissect thru the junk, get to the core, own it, hit you back profoundly with it, and hopefully that blow will kill the vampire so that person can join the human race. That's just part of the Job...many layers out there.

[@Dg-um8mz]

Phillip G Very well said. I can relate completely.

[@sickhappy9897]

Yes exactly

[@NamiBurger]

One-sided relationships. That is the most accurate thing about INFJs and for me it always feels like that.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks NamiBurger for sharing. Have you figured out how to create more 2-way relationships? Love to hear any advice or tips for INFJs with the same issue.

[@NamiBurger]

Joel Mark Witt actually tbh, for the INFJ it will always be one-sided. Or at least, for me. Over the course of my life I have made many friends and garnered some (a lot actually..lol) admirers, but they always felt one-sided and nothing very personal.. I have an ISTJ and ISFJ friend who I really appreciate and enjoy talking to on a regular basis. I can really feel how bonded we are, but somehow it feels it is much tighter on their end than mine. I have always lived as a counselor for all my friends, actually I never considered most my friends because it felt as if we were never exactly on the same page with things. In the end, I would feel guilty, because I could feel all this energy and feelings of trust from the other person when they talk with me, but at the same time I am also afraid of what I may say or think that could damage them. Having dom Ni and aux Fe, it's basically a one-way transaction. If anything, I feel the most any of my relationships will be is a learning experience, and also to use my insights to help and comfort them. But when the time comes we part ways, somehow, I feel no loss, versus the other person comes to me wondering why I never try to talk to them anymore or if I wasn't being a true friend from the start. For me, friendship, relationships.. they are all only learning experiences and I often just keep myself detached. I feel that other people are not my responsibility to upkeep of course, but at the same time they are all I know I can work with. I want to help people and connect with others, but at the same time I would rather keep them at arms length. If they get too close, or assume we are close--which we may or may not be-- I'll tend to put up a wall. Sometimes the idea makes me uncomfortable, but in all I would rather try and protect myself and the other person from really "needing" each other.. that's basically it. Even in romantic relationships, there is some distance between. It may all be in my head, but all I've known is to be guided by it and lead myself. That's how I have lived up until now.

[@NamiBurger]

NamiBurger so, not really lol I have no advice for this, hard to believe, since I give advice to many of my friends, even strangers on and offline. It's crazy... i wonder if any other INFJs feel this way.

[@joelmarkwitt]

NamiBurger Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate the perspectives on this. Something to think about.

[@MsDanceDiva234]

NamiBurger I agree! I always feel like I'm the only one feeling certain emotions and don't understand how people aren't as expressive.

[@eldina8989]

The tough thing about being an INFJ is that not only is it crazy that you "absorb" the emotions of those around you, but since you're that nice "easy to talk to" good listener person, many people come to talk to you about their burdens and you take them on yourself and they have no idea because INFJs dont say how they feel. That's just crazy.

[@mirakihana6455]

Kisses exactly!

[@kyram123]

Lots of people at work stop by my desk to tell me their struggles. I never invite them. If they are rambling, I just stare at them and imagine a cup pouring out water. I am hoping that when they pour out all of their water, they will leave. It keeps me from feeling like I have to take on all of their junk. I want them to vent, but I know the dangers of engaging them and taking that energy on for myself.

[@bigbufobufo]

This is why I couldn’t be a therapist even though we are supposed to be good at that. It would just drain me.

[@evadebruijn]

I actually like that, makes me feel so useful. Not sure whether that is healthy though.

[@MJKsFan]

Being an INFJ can be very lonely sometimes.

[@backtoasimplelife]

+MJKsFan It is lonely for me most of the time. I have only a few people in life that I feel I connect with on a deeper level, none of which is my immediate family. And when I don't talk to one of those people for some time, I start to feel a little crazy.

[@MJKsFan]

+Bobbi Clinger "Most of the time" is more accurate than "sometimes." I was trying to be optimistic I guess. It is easy to lose hope being misunderstood more often than not.

[@winniewinkles]

+MJKsFan Yeah I know what you mean. I have started prefacing what I have to say to certain people with asking for sufficient time to explain where I am coming from if it is not immediately understandable to them. Exhausting though and yes lonely. Very hurtful to be continually misunderstood when your perspective is actually really valuable and for the betterment of everyone. Not everyone is motivated by reciprocity or the happiness of all it seems. Great we have these platforms to share our experiences.

[@Troposphere0]

+MJKsFan LOVE THE TOOL artwork!

[@MonicaAshley1991]

It surely can be. And i agreed 100% with the whole being dissatisfied with relationships in general. I find myself many a times being the outlet for others yet definitely not vice versa.

[@bellavive6988]

My boyfriend is an INFJ and I am an INFJ and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! He can read me like a book.

[@bellavive6988]

This seems like such a rare thing to me.. That two rare personality types would meet, & fall in love. I mean what are the chances? & I've found it. I also instantly felt like I knew him when we met. We instantly clicked.. & now I know why. He's just like me lol.

[@In0god0we0trust]

I hope I can be so lucky in the future. :)

[@justaguy3436]

+Bella Vive Good luck with everything you are very lucky :)

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

You should be reaaaally happy! :D Enjoy and evolve!

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

That is so beautiful to hear! Just what I'm manifesting, relationship(s) like that :)

[@Lightlybow]

You're absolutely right about the one-sidedness of most INFJ relationships. I think partially it comes from a craving to be understood deeply... which is not a common thing in our flighty and sometimes shallow society. We understand people better than they understand us and it's very unfulfilling.

[@Angie-et5gq]

It's hard for INFJs to find people on their same level of thought and feelings. . . We are the most rare personality type after all. We make up less than 2% of the population.

[@mirakihana6455]

Lightlybow I agree. Growing up, I always had the feeling that no one understood me. But everyone always chalked it up to typical teenage "no one understands me". I became extremely depressed and had a lot of anxiety. To this day, my family still don't really understand me and I don't think they ever will. Both of my parents are ESTJ 😅 so they just really really can't understand at all I think.

[@doreneperez820]

It is very frustrating in my experience to give all to my husband and want and need "exactly" the same in return and mot understand why he is incapable to give the same. Onesided relationship is very un fulfilling.

[@sarahkuhn566]

You’re so right. And we crave that deep connection so much.

[@jakebauer1262]

Thanks for the great video!! One 'secret' that wasn't mentioned in this video is: - A tendency to suddenly withdraw from others for a period of time (to recharge) I'm sure you must have touched on it during the longer podcast that I have yet to check out. The 'withdrawing' trait was the one that freaked me out the most as I came into adulthood. For years I thought it was unusual and frankly I was very ashamed of the behavior. I love people so it was confusing. My closest friends had even nicknamed it my 'off radar' time. Then I discovered I was an infj and suddenly that side of me made perfect sense. I still don't like it when it goes on for too long but I do understand and accept that it is normal for an infj. So many other aspects of myself made sense after realizing I was an infj as well....I won't list them all but all you fellow infj's must know the feeling. Cheers

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks Jake Bauer for the feedback. I've noticed that other introverts do this a little bit too... but I have to say that INFJs tend to very much need this "recharging" time.

[@jakebauer1262]

Joel Mark Witt Yeah, I don't claim to be an expert on the subject but I've read in many places that introverts recharge by spending time alone and extroverts recharge by spending time with people. The 'withdrawing' trait may be a little more necessary for infj's and startling to others because of how the other infj traits play into it. - We absorb others emotions so readily the toll can be heavy making the seclusion very needed (recharge & repair, lol). - But we often relate to people so well that we can appear extroverted (potentially making the seclusion more unexpected than other introverts) PS - I love the interactivity you have in this channel! ...and i'm going to look for your infj podcast now :)

[@joelmarkwitt]

Cool. Let me know what you think of the podcast :-)

[@jakebauer1262]

Hey Joel Mark Witt, the podcast was excellent....it had me tuning in until well past my bedtime, lol. For those that haven't checked it out: www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0034-infj-personality-type-advice/ You could have made it 2 hours and I'd probably still wanted it to be longer. It wasn't quite as comprehensive as I had hoped but I understand there was an overall "advice/helpfulness" goal to the podcast. And it leaves room for future podcasts on infj's (...please do a follow-up, lol). The terminology changes (perspectives/harmony) and the rationale behind them was interesting. What was the most surprising though was the discussion about infj's experiencing pain. I've had virtually no interactions with other infj's (that I'm aware of) so all I have to draw on is my own experiences. I never realized that many infj's find their sensitivity to others' emotions to be painful. Maybe my sensitivity volume is lower than many infj's. When I meet someone new, the first thing I notice about a them is the vibe they're giving off. If it's bad, I will avoid them as much as possible in the future...not so much consciously...but if I think about it, that's what I do. And admittedly, I grew up in a pretty healthy family and neighborhood. Anyway, that was my biggest take away...many infj's experience pain from their gift. Keep up the fantastic work!!! When I get a sec, I'll take the genius personality test. I'm very curious.

[@jakebauer1262]

Joel Mark Witt just so you know, the biggest thing I struggle with as an infj (if you haven't already guest it) is the "withdrawing" thing. I'd love to hear a podcast on that. It doesn't correlate with depression or anything...I'm a happy guy...it's just that every few months or so I shut everyone out; sometimes weeks at a time. I'll go to work and I'm fine but after hours I shell up, contently working on personal projects but ignoring phone calls, emails etc. I understand the behavior now that I've been typed infj but it is something I dislike (mostly for the concern others have with it). Any advice you have would be appreciated.

[@user-yp3ms1oj3z]

INFJ here! I'd say one thing a lot of people don't seem to realize about INFJ's, and is a bit of a secret among INFJ's, is that they fail to understand themselves and their emotions. Although I've had a lot of friends tell me, "I think you know me better than I know myself sometimes" I have NO IDEA what's going on with myself half of the time. If I'm crying there's a good chance I have no idea why I'm crying except that I need to release my emotions! I'm often so focused on other people's emotions that I don't even pay attention to what's going on inside myself and how it's impacting me. That's why I was SO relieved when I found MBTI and my type! I finally had some degree of understanding myself for the first time!

[@joelmarkwitt]

Emma Campbell That's great feedback. Thank you for sharing this. I think you are onto something here. Have you found any tricks for seeing what is going on for yourself emotionally? How do you check in with your own feelings?

[@kyram123]

This is exactly how I am. I often find out how I "feel" about something because I get physically ill or angry, or suddenly afraid. The hardest part is expressing how I feel to others, it is truly a learned behavior for me.

[@adamchristopher393]

This is me exactly

[@Kjpuppy7]

I want to give you both a hug after hearing your explanation of an INFj. Thank goodness your moms raised you with such a sympathetic understanding for people with different personality types. The ability to absorb others feelings is strange and it is best for me to stay out of toxic environments or I will absorb the negative emotional energy of others. sincerely, INFJ

[@joelmarkwitt]

Katie Gonzalez Thanks for the sharing Katie. Appreciated.

[@jvcobt]

i feel like an emotional landfill where people dump baggage

[@jarla59]

Same, I'm just starting to not let people do that to me anymore though.

[@Dana-koc]

oh my :-D same here. 100% INFJ feeling :-\

[@Chic.Geek75]

+WireMePink ditto

[@thefrozengargon338]

+jacob tran Bang on. I'm just an old pair of pants that someone wore and said "Hm, now would be a good time to steam in my trousers!".

[@maeesha1280]

I cannot agree more with you on this. But I'm glad they have me to vent out their feelings on. They actually look forward to that and little do they know that we absorb all these emotions. How are we even absorbing these emotions even? I was so amazed to learn about INFJ's. It helped me understand myself more.

[@warning1020]

I'm not ALONE! Some of my problems as an INFJ: #1 I HATE looking random people in the eyes for very long when they're looking back at mine. #2 Whenever I have to discuss something in depth like my feelings I sound like a coherent mess. Writing how I feel works MUCH better, especially if I'm "arguing" with someone. If it's a normal conversation then it's not too bad. #3 I've always hated math, always preferred history and astronomy (Probably just a personal thing) #4 I like to be included in groups, but I always feel like a third wheel. #5 I always want to be appreciated, but not the center of attention in groups. #6 I work in retail, and by the end of the day my emotions are just drained and I need to stay in the house for the rest of my time off. #7 I feel like I want to have friends, but usually one or two really good ones are more than enough. #8 I feel like I can tell people's emotions better than most others. Like if someone is "triggered" I know to stay the hell away. #9 I'm a very nice person to people, even if they're not so nice back at times. Although I can get upset pretty easily if they aren't nice back to me. (Like most people would) #10 I love electronics and video games, very fascinated with it. I also love to create, 3D modeling for video games, adobe Photoshop, ext... #11 I almost never want to leave the house, or if sometimes I do, I don't know what I really want to do. I would way rather just be alone with someone, one on one, rather than go out and about doing things all day long. #12 I like to contemplate about things. Ideas, future events, what ifs, and so on. Normal small talk bores me after awhile, a true friend of mine would love to talk about random yet interesting stuff like: "What if Hitler never attacked the Russians, and instead became allies." or "What if we could make a magnetic engine to replace the combustible engine thus rendering fissile fuels useless." #13 I usually don't like people too much, because I feel as if most of them are just dirt bags that have no empathy. Working in a retail environment has most definitely affirmed that belief. hahahah #14 (Last one, I swear!) I never seek power, I usually just want to help people that I like. It's very rare for me to be envious of others if they have good fortune, I'm just happy for them. Let me know if you're similar to me. I'd love to know. Peace and prosper to all :)

[@annam2562]

Minus 1or 2 on your list that are just slightly different in my case we are practically identical. :)

[@historynetwork7438]

your not infj

[@rgjmg070607]

Exact same thing except my subjects were English lit. and Social studies .. esp social studies..

[@fourwalls6049]

We are twins

[@reinventlove1866]

Me in a nutshell

[@Dani68ABminus]

I also listened to your podcast...much appreciated. As a "seasoned" INFJ here's my two cents worth...A healthy, balanced INFJ is happy and open-hearted, enjoys helping friends and knows when to crawl into solitude to charge the batteries and let the heart and mind fly. Healthy people of all types respect these personality differences and can can deal with them without finding us strange. Unfortunately, we live in a society and, most likely, grew up in a family, where we were pressured to conform to the expectations of the unbalanced people around us. We live in a screwed up world full of values opposite to ours and we know it. As Krishnamurti said it so well...It's no sign of mental health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Be proud of being different and, most importantly, stay away from cluster-b personalities...they eat you alive! They are our modern day scourge...they are our scourge!

[@backtoasimplelife]

+Dani68ABminus "stay away from cluster-b personalities." I totally agree with this. I had to find out the hard way that they are completely poisonous to me.

[@akaboo69]

I feel more Extraverted these days. I talk more then I ever had but part of that is from my experiences. people have always said stop day dreaming Pay attention to your surroundings. Stop living in your head. But my thoughts are I like it in here it's comfortable. But I found living in my head too much got me in trouble at work. I was quiet in my early life but as I hit my late 20s and early 30s I started to talk more. My friends had me to do karaoke Wich was scary at first but now I can do it. I also cashiered for years. Now I work in solitude as a night custodian. Other than the crappy shift. I love it... well I love the solitude and being able to listen to music and be in my own world. Scrubbing toilets not so much lol. But im alone so much my need for me time has diminished. But when I was a cashier I needed more me time. I took 3 test one said INFJ ENFJ INSJ. So I'm in the ball park of these. I do relate to both FJs the most.

[@michelleroper4123]

I think, in general, I am a pretty healthy INFJ. I am blessed to have a few very close friends and family members with whom I feel connected and open, so loneliness - while it does haunt me from time to time, isn't as difficult for me as it is for others. Being an emotional sponge is very hard sometimes, though as I have to constantly decipher whether the emotions that I am feeling are actually my own or borrowed. The comment about the cluster-b personalities, though, dead on. I wonder if INFJs have a higher propensity of being attached to/attracting those disordered personalities.

[@maryfarrell2296]

Dani68ABminus There,.. Right there! I could've easily missed reading any number of books,.. in any number of subjects,.. And found some way around to learning,.. not just ABOUT Cluster B's,.. But what they could do,. To me!

[@joshuahite427]

Dani68ABminus I once dated a cluster b and she crushed me and couldn’t comprehend empathy so it was a DISASTER

[@MannFace51]

......There are other people like me out there? Oh my god I thought I was alone.

[@JadedWings1]

Fistful of Crashes right...?!?!

[@zdavidoff7390]

Yeah, this is almost surreal, like I just met a family I never knew I had. Maybe we're all from the same batch of souls? One interesting thing I noted is we all seem to have decent grammar, lol. It would be interesting to see what else we have in common i.e. nationality, blood type, I.Q., etc.

[@CrispyBaconYT555]

same

[@Spooky_Psyche]

Well, not many, but they're out there. We're estimated to be around 2% of the American population, probably a similar figure for worldwide stats. There are several more common personalities that INFJs can get along with beautifully though. Pretty much any of the SPs compliment our traits very well, even the Thinking types since INFJs tend to be more in touch with their Thinking side than most other Feeling types. Also, INFPs and ENFPs can work really well with INFJs since they have similar experiences of being misunderstood and also having very deep and complex emotions.

[@ghassanegm9138]

Fistful of Crashes Same 😊

[@stephsdlnthms3957]

Ohhh...here's a part of the INFJ you might not know. It's VERY difficult for me to hurt someone else, even if they deserve it. I can even come across as 'weak' or 'malleable'. I'm not. But if I say all the things I COULD say, I would hurt feelings, then experience that persons pain...ultimately hurting myself. Plus, every time we saw each other for weeks afterward I would feel DOUBLE the tension/hurt/etc. It's just....not worth it. Plus, I've usually already psychoanalyzed them and understand why they said or did what they did...even if I think I wouldn't have said it or done it, I can't hold it against you....damn it. Likewise, if a person is actually in pain or in a bad situation....even if I REALLY DON'T like them AT ALL....I will feel pain for that person, even to a crippling degree. I can easily spend a whole day (or more) contemplating that person's problems/pains and how to make them better, but then never act on those solutions because I know that they won't react well if I tell them what they should do, because I shouldn't know what the problem is in the first place....it's very confusing B-{

[@DaPaperChasA]

Man I've always found that to be a gift and a curse

[@maryfarrell2296]

It is,.. Just stay Away! You think you can handle it,.. You cant,.. Manage it, stand it! Whatever,.. You can't! YOU are MOST vulnerable to cluster b,.. You've gotten through plenty,. And you're still you,... Nothing to prove here~ Its infj kryptonite,.. Stay Away

[@hiromis3623]

Why is this me ;*;

[@oceanlove853]

Wow you said it i deal with this so often especially with ppl closest to me...i feel like i know ppls deepest secrets when picking up emotions as well because people may be in denial or pretend to not know wherw theyre at but i see and feel it so clear and i even respond aloof to protect them which is hard because im not good at faking anything even white lies. I now feel less crazy im always being betrayed but i feel exactly the same way you do. I see the bigger picture and dont care for revenge just avoid people to mitigate issues instead if needed.

[@MonicaJessen]

Thanks for the video Antonia and Joel. Yep, as an INFJ it gets a bit exhausting being so tuned in to everyone else's emotions. My childhood was spent trying to make everyone around me happy. I was a school teacher for years. I loved teaching the kids but found that being around so many people completely drained me. So now I work from home creating training manuals and websites- and I love it. I have so much more energy when I limit my time around big groups of people.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Monica Jessen Thanks for the feedback. Any advice you'd have for the young INFJ that is just figuring all this out?

[@cruiseny26]

It's not only that we are emotional sponge but to make matters worse, for some reason, we draw people who are emotionally needy and often become the emotional dumping ground for everyone's problems. Other people feel better and we are left in a wasteland, physically and emotionally drained.

[@joelmarkwitt]

cruiseny26 Thanks for sharing. We actually talk about some of this in our much longer INFJ podcast over on the site: www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0034-infj-personality-type-advice/ I'd love to hear if the whole thing resonates with you.

[@cameronforbes2649]

This is why INFJ's are closely associated with Narcissism. Somehow somebody else having a bad day and being around you make you the victim and their is no consideration or objective reasoning addressing the fact that other people have lives too.

[@joelmarkwitt]

***** From my perspective it comes down to empowerment. Acknowledging that INFJs have strong emotions "projected" onto them from others - isn't a value statement. It's just what is happening. It doesn't mean it should be used as an excuse to "play the victim." Again - this is just my perspective on this. I think if INFJs see themselves as victims - they will struggle. INFJs can see themselves as creators and in control of their boundaries. This is a good thing.

[@maryfarrell2296]

Joel Mark Witt ,... So true,.. or rather? From my perspective,.. it certainly May've been! As these are serious things,... Understanding myself? Waiting~ while patterns go by,... Not~ just in the fragments one learns developmentally; or the one experience at a time, as you move through life? But as? An actual Thing! A Thing!,.. That one day~ Could be empowering,.. What a feeling! To be lit up, from within,.. Looking up! Planning!,... The road stretched ahead~ Its a gift~ as golden as any rule,.. from any classroom, in any school,.. because? Its the curriculum of you,.. In absence of your inner light there comes an unavoidable plight to,.. forever &again avoid the cruel,.. you Know is coming - Life can resume,.. often & does rhythmically as,... An excersize riddled with defences & heads up- protections /against / Rather than For~ the plotting of your Own moves,.. & Repeatedly,.. a teaching perhaps? Looking like,... the little v~ in liew of personal Victories,.. strung together & in the energy& efforts to "not" There's a yeilding I think? Not of the little v -victim! Oh no,.. At the least- not me! Of all the things I never knew,... I wanted..., or wanted to be? To be a victim was Not& out of the question! (Insert childhood here) for me! But? As you grow & try to know~ yourself & that of your surroundings? As an INFJ,.. Or rather, an unaware INFJ ~ As much as you'd like to believe,. you are ` as God made anyone else? Life,.. after a while,.. how ever much you try or reason or rationalize? You know you're not,.. just not quite_ like everyone else,.. and THAT becomes,.. as bestas you are able to illusion away from it? The Secret. Your secret. To try & fit in, n best you're able& create,.. aswell as sustain - maintain, this illusion,.. You're hiding something. So? Maybe you yeild,.. after all? You are friends,.. after all? With,.. this "normal" girl? &Dating this "normal" guy? Working this "normal" job? Perhaps? You should JUST,... let some things go? Even joke I did! ,.. "Oh haha you got harranged by a neighbor? So now? I should suddenly feel "ick" out of the blue of You,... dropping ` down on my day?" & Merely (I thought) Well?... a strong sense of fairness & you Know that's not right! Right? Not even for you! To?,.. To be a medicine? & without a single doorbell or even a call,.. And anyway,.. You did! You know! You hung out that shingle! Take responsibility! Its Best (at the very least) that you try & keep it in the family! Dont let that secret show! Yield a little hu?!!! Untill? One day in your 50's an illness or an accident befalls you,.. Oops! YOU need someone! Oops,.. this isn't just a horoscope of my day look at me,.. its entertaining,.. Or interesting,.. just a test,. This could be a matter? Of life or death,.. No,.. nope. Now? No. Not letting the secret stay hidden,.. It's not just my overly sensitive, keep it to myself, say it w some flair,.. & looky over there,.. drama me, little secret. Its reality,.. Little by little? The lil bit distant, cold- shoulder, "Very" hard working guy- quiet- dont bother me now, my-cowboy persona,.. date to mate ie my life ~ "other half"? is not a yeild to my loo bc you- did ,.. after all choose? Lil,.. 'ol not normal me,.. so I agreed to just keep it to myself & now,.. Maybe, Its too late to see,.. The jokes on you little Miss secret~ess,.. You married and dressed,.. A great dark& scary, no yeild- bout a doubt it,.. the breath snuffing, out - nohearted - Narcissist ,... It's serious,....

[@evadebruijn]

@@joelmarkwitt This!

[@HaileeJo18]

As a INFJ, when I interact with people I definitely feel their emotions, but for me it's hard to interpret exactly what emotion they are feeling. I often ask people "are you okay?" And they always look at me funny and say that they are fine. Any other INFJ's feel this way?

[@zongbyrd]

I can relate to the one-sided friendships. Some friends pour their current events and issues, but end the conversation quickly when I try to share about myself. It has left me feeling pretty lonely. But I have a husband who's there for me, and that saves me.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thank for sharing. It sounds like you have a supportive and awesome husband.

[@hannahkyle2998]

I think this just happened to me. I don't have many "friends" just a few I allow to come so far. Anyway my friend recently came over for a visit and we had a great time. After the visit when my super brain kicked in and started analyzing everything I realized that my friend would talk openly and excitedly about what they were up to but any time I began to share something I was interested in it was like the conversation died. Anyway I got the impression afterwards that I serve a single role to my friend.... a listening ear only. I will continue our visits and analyze further to be sure. If that is all my "friend" is willing to do then said "friend" will be put further away from my trust zone lol. Sad! Fortunatly for me as well my husband is my rock!

[@mirakihana6455]

My biggest problem as an INFJ is being stuck in my past and playing out entire scenes of "what ifs". Because I feel as though I messed up my life so much and I obviously can't go back, I'm constantly questioning wtf the point of life is. I've always gotten too deep into thought and analysed everything from every perspective. All of my report cards say that I daydream too much and am often in my own world 🙈 And I suppose that not having any friends gives me more time to have these thoughts.

[@marjoriea9079]

Me too. Like play out a scene that already happened and think what would happen if I did this or said that?

[@donellandrews3990]

Think of thr future ok.

[@marjoriea9079]

The what ifs are sooo horrible thats true. That's why I try to go for the option of doing it and then "okay its not for me" but still even going for that I still overthink the other details in doing it and still think of the "what ifs" 🤦🏾‍♀️😭

[@marjoriea9079]

@Dee Lect awhh thats sweet. Thanks kind stranger

[@kossiscott1002]

Exactly...and trying to find ways to amend these lost courses. Its depressing and bad for one

[@bananapower2259]

I'm an INFJ, I am also still in highschool but this was really helpfull. and this also explains a lot. sometimes I feel that the people in my class and my friends just.. dont understand me because I have sometimes so much stuff in my head and while maybe other people are worrying about how they made the test, I am thinking about a lot of other things, i guess you could say INFJs are kind of philosophical in some way.. I just don't know how to explain it, i guess only INFJs know what im talking about..

[@Angie-et5gq]

Completely get it. For some reason there is always a thought more important than the everyday simple things. We INFJs are wonderers. And our intuition is sharp.

[@rileyharperwolf]

same but i still need help with knowing more

[@pjsingh2735]

I'm an infj and I totally understand you. I just wish i knew i actually had a place that i fit into when i was in high school haha

[@raphaellaghiotelli238]

I'm am an infj and I know exactly what you're talking about!I am in high school and dealing with these things everyday is extremely frustrating!

[@StandAloneState]

I wrote an essay about life and death in grade 5, when all my other peers were talking about a recent trip abroad or what food they liked to eat. My parents definitely had a lot of people coming up to them afterward lmfao

[@ravishingtwinkle3811]

Being a healthy INFJ is like having super power. The world needs us.

[@freerangejames6656]

As an INFJ feeling/absorbing people's emotions is like walking into a toilet after someone's taken a shit and having to smell it.

[@anamariabotea7649]

Pfahah so accurate

[@c.s.70]

I know, so gross!

[@dallasfluff3347]

I hate that this is true

[@frithsai7076]

I feel crazy being an infj. I feel everything too deeply

[@joelmarkwitt]

Princess' Hang in there.

[@sarahkuhn566]

You’re not alone.

[@paola4uchi]

Very true. People are easy to decode, and people are always dumping. It's easier to switch over to "thinker"/"rational"because so much of this dumping is happening to us that it needs to make sense. It's hard to just be me, and to feel what I want to feel, and pursue what I want to pursue. I think developing the feeling function means developing your sense of passion...If you can hone that, you'll understand your place in the world, allowing you to understand the world and how to be part of the world (whether it's being of help to it or not). A lot of people see INFJ as humanitarian, but it doesn't mean you have to play that role. In some way, the INFJ is just naturally making the world a better place. So let let that go; we are as much a part of the natural order as every other type. Our sense of intuition is the most individual part of us, as creativity would be to another- frankly it's one of the hardest things to tame.

[@westonwellington2862]

Thank you so much. I can't begin to tell you how life changing this is for me as an INFJ male.... I haven't found any other info, even in the MBTI community, highlighting and explaining the ability INFJ's have in absorbing other people's emotional states... which is so central to our personality. I always thought I was a flawed human being because of this. I would get teased and made fun of by more aggressive types that I was too easily offended and sensitive,..when in reality i didn't know what on earth was going on,.... I truly believed I was messed up and wired wrong,... I would be overwhelmed by all this emotional information I was bombarded with and I didn't know how to handle it. Everyone around me didn't seem to experience any of this so I chose to be a cold thinker to escape... after listening to your understanding of this type a HUGE understanding and sigh of relief washed over me...(tears included) "OMG, finally someone who understands how i'm wired,... which gave me the opportunity to make sense of all of this"... i'll pick up "psyhic garbage", as you put it,.. ALL-THE-TIME!! Knowing other people's intentions, especially if they are malicious... knowing exactly how they are feeling,.. being able to know what there next feeling will be before they know they even have it,... man,... you gave me my life back!!!!

[@adamchristopher393]

Me too

[@laurenmarkham7307]

OH MY GOD. I always wandered why I picked up what other people where feeling and why people didn't understand what I was feeling when I knew what they where.

[@XelestialAurora]

I was SO thankful to hear about this "unique ability" to pick up what others feel. I have been trying to figure out a way to protect myself from this for so long but it feels like I'm insane going around saying I have powers like that... Yet I can't watch the news or hear any bad stories or anything or it feels like it just completely blackens my soul. Being alone is the easiest way to stay healthy.

[@bluelovely6494]

+Xelestial I know exactly how you feel. I am very affected by the news and stories of harm, bullying, torture, animals being hurt or killed, etc. I cry a lot and have a very hard time getting things out of my mind once I have seen or heard them. I try to remain alone and protect myself from the chaos and evilness in the world but it can also be a very lonely experience.

[@Britasin]

Just thought that I would share this with everyone, I learned that I was an INFJ about a year ago and it completely blew my mind. At first I thought I was really going off of the deep end, long story short it's like my mind knew things about other people just by looking at them for a second or two and after talking with them I was right about 95% of the time. Now I work in the medical field and it helps tremendously when I'm working with my patients. I just get this feeling of if they're scared, apprehensive, or whatever. I try to use that feeling to relate to them to better work with them and it's amazing how efficient it is. The bad thing about it, just like you mentioned in your video above is that I can also sense the bad in people. By this, I mean I can feel when people are insincere, if they're lying to me, being hostile towards me when they're trying to wear a mask. It really came through with my last relationship where almost every time my ex was going to do something really hurtful, my mind already knew and I just had this feeling of anger and dread that would come out of no where, and even in my dreams the night before something would happen. Honestly it terrified me, and it still does to some extent. Sometimes I wish I was ignorant so I wouldn't have to know, but in the end I know it's for the best, especially when it comes to my patients and helping them try to recover back into their normal lives. Thank you both for this video, and I hope that more INFJs see this in the future and don't remain afraid.

[@joelmarkwitt]

HolySoulA Thank you for the kind words and for sharing with us. Hope to see you stay a part of the Personality Hacker community over on Facebook. (facebook.com/PersonalityHacker)

[@jenb7419]

HolySoulA INFJ RN here! Isn't it so rewarding to help others!?

[@spcrl]

I always look at the people for just a second and realize who they really are. The forms of their eyes, lips, face.....tell everything about them (did that all my life and never made a mistake). this is how I pick my friends and how I decide to wether talk to a stranger or not and why most of the time single :). have had this feeling since my childhood. Do you guys feel the same? I just walk in the street and look at the people, there's a theater out there.

[@mirakihana6455]

Ehsan Ansari I've never done that really 😅 but I've always had a weird "ability" to tell immediately when I'd end up dating someone (I know it sounds stupid). Like without us officially meeting or speaking to each other, one look at them even if they don't look at me and I can tell straight away that there's a story there to unfold. I never approach the person but they end up approaching me within the next couple of weeks or so. I'd say it's happened to me six times now

[@johnarmlovesguam]

This INFJ is lonely but not bored.

[@KayoYuuki]

We INFJ are the weirdest , I'm vegan and syncretic, had to overcome a decade of major depression, this video is accurate!

[@marysol7346]

Yeay a vegan !

[@suchanuch1]

I'm INFJ and Vegan too!

[@victoriaheng8595]

Kayo Henry I am an INFJ. I am also 10, so young INFJ!

[@berkeleyfortini5795]

YEAH INFJ AND VEGAN TOO!! PLANT POWER!!

[@marysol7346]

Rock on !!!!!

[@LUFFmeFerever]

A few months ago, at Arooga's (a restaurant where they play a bunch of sports on tv's. Televisions everywhere! lol, for those who don't know) I was just sitting down having some food with my family. All of the sudden, from across the room, I heard people yelling, and all of the sudden I felt myself about to cry, feeling this big wave of happiness rushed over me. It was fairly apparent it was joyous yelling, though I started to feel this way before I could even collect my thoughts enough to realize that. I think a tear fell and my lips started quivering. My mom and dad looked at me like I was nuts!! Haha. Then, we turned around to see what was going on. It was the day American Pharoh won the horse race, and it was apparent that they, or someone they knew had won a good chunk of cash. One or two of them then started crying and this hole table of people were hugging one another.. I felt a little less crazy once I realized that,! Haha, but it was still hard to hold back my tears and keep my face straight. Oh what an odd thing it is.

[@mirakihana6455]

Morgan Brown for some reason I'm really good at feeling when something is wrong. I've always lived in "bad" neighbourhoods and I can be just watching a movie or listening to music with headphones blaring and all of a sudden feel extremely scared. When I take my headphones off, it turns out some household is having a domestic situation ☹️ this has happened to me way too many times. I haven't noticed it happening for positive feelings though so you're really lucky!

[@maryfarrell2296]

Mira Kihana Maybe you will, Mira,.. When there's more positive to pick up? You make a good point tho! I've been lucky enough to not live in "bad" area,.. But? Ive noticed the negative much, much more! If I had to pick out the toughest part of INFJ? Is when I didn't know? As a youngster especially! That sudden out of the black - feeling bad? Checking me out as to what just happened? What happened to me? A mental illness? Or,?? Well? As many reasons as Im sure you could come up with! To answer,.. wthell just happened?? Maybe the happy I assumed was just me,.. But the being afraid of what must be wrong with me?? The So sudden of it! Really,.. scared me, every time Although,.. Maybe its biology also at play? Chicken or the egg? Your fight/flight is already hyper geared right? And ready to protect you,.. Biologically speaking? Your adrenals arent going to set off as easily to protect you from laughter right? I dunno? Its a good point tho,..

[@TylerGibsonMusic]

All I can say, is that life for an INFJ is bittersweet. I personally questioned myself alot before I knew I was an INFJ. I would wonder why I never had alot of friends. I would question myself "What is wrong with me?". I always knew I was greatly different than the people around me. I am constantly thinking and figuring out stuff. Sometimes stuff that would be best left unknown. And if I can't figure it out, it is absolute hell. Imagine waking up and as soon as you realize you're awake that you are instantly thinking nonstop, trying to figure things out that other people haven't even thought of. That is, if you can fall asleep in the first place because of the thoughts. For example: Wondering about how to make something work that nobody has figured out. Maybe waking up randomly at 3 a.m. to write down an idea that woke you up. Or trying to create your own invention to better the world and help people. Or maybe even waking up and having visions of something so clearly that you know for sure will work and it plays like a vivid video in your head. You can see it so clearly but do not know the right people to reach and tell. Or re-reading a message 20 times before sending it. It is hell, it truly is. Think of it like someone thinking outside of the box constantly while everyone else is stuck inside the box. And you're not just thinking outside the box. You live outside the box. (Other INFJs will understand what I mean). Though there are extremely good benefits from it. You can see a bad situation and avoid it because you have played the outcome in your head repeatedly and in-depth. It's also hell because you're so much different than the other people around you and you know it. It's like you see everyone as puppets or zombies. Following trends and trying to fit in. Its like they're just not on the same level as you and dont understand you at all or what you say. Pretty much like every one is completely closed minded. It is very lonely and very depressing. I wish so bad that I could meet other INFJs. I have yet to do so. I can only imagine the things we could accomplish if we were together.

[@wonu_meows]

i would like to say that being an INFJ can be very sad and very lonely. i am 30 yrs old and I am already at the height of depression. It goes away in the morning and comes back at night. it's hard for me to be in a relationship because i seek a connection in a deeper level. i need someone who understand my mind without ever questioning me. i am reaching out to my fellow INFJs who feel the same way.

[@aniokay]

thecurious one Feeling you. Ive never had a relationship for that reason. But I haven't lost faith - and now that I know my type I can accept my traits more easily. And hang in there. In my darkest periods (through serveral years) meditation and yoga have changed me. And I have now an ability to let go of things more easily and have come to a point where I can be true to myself -thanks to the struggles I've been through.

[@joseperez-escareno7320]

This is very helpful! I think I am an INFJ. I work in healthcare and although I would consider myself extremely sensitive to others' feelings and points of view I have found myself going full on Utilitarian when I feel it necessary. This often leads me to believe that I give off a "two-faced" vibe to my patients and coworkers Thanks for the video!

[@MelanieBerliet]

As an INFJ, this really resonates for me. I often find myself intuiting something but uncertain as to why/ how I am beginning to understand this particular aspect of a situation...and then I toil between whether or not I should share what I'm seeing/sensing/feeling or keep it all in inside as it is not always something that's likely to be well received, let alone easy to contextualize for another person.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks Melanie for commenting. As an INFJ - do you have any advice for others of the same type and how they can better manage this balance?

[@isobelscorpio]

Great video. I've always wondered if I'm really INFJ but this video served as a helpful checklist! What especially jumped out at me was the one-sided relationship. This is totally true. Something that has happened to me (and which may be a consequence of being INFJ) is that you are so good at reading people that you believe others are reading you just as well. This has often caused me to hide, as I believe the person is seeing things I would prefer they didn't! Ironically this will happen with people who don't immediately dump their "psychic junk" on you. The answer? Take relationships reaaaaaally slow, to get comfortable and to be able to deal with that other person taking an interest in your emotional experience! Thanks you guys, so friendly and accessible!

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks isobelscorpio for the kind words and support. I think you bring up a good point about taking new relationships slowly.

[@MrPopTart4Lyfe]

I find it so frustrating when I go online and so many people are saying "yes that's me!" when I have never met another INFJ in my life! Like can you guys all come out of hiding, please??? Can we form a meetup with just INFJs or something? I search for these people in my life and the only place I find them is on the internet lol

[@PHJoelMarkWitt]

Hey +MrPopTart4Lyfe - if you come over to our Facebook group - many people of the same type have connected in real life: facebook.com/groups/PHIntuitiveAwakening

[@mirakihana6455]

MrPopTart4Lyfe 😂 Yes! So many INFJs online trying to discover more about themselves and feel understood 🙈 I'm sure everyone is wondering why there are so many of us here if we're supposed to be the rarest personality type. Well I truly believe that it's because we're all looking to be understood

[@rgjmg070607]

Cause we don’t leave the house 😂

[@anushashashidhar7087]

Psychic garbage... One-sided unsatisfactory relationships... Bang on! Feel so glad to watch this. I am not alone.

[@mzizHatake]

Omg, I feel like I might cry, because you've described me so accurately, I feel so understood. It's so sad that we're such a rare personality type. I always did wonder why I felt so different from everyone. I still have never met anyone who is even a little bit similar to me, all my friends and family have said the same thing. And it makes me so frustrated, because it does feel lonely when you don't feel that certain connection with anyone in your life. Not even your romantic partner, not your mother or your best friend. I hope to one day meet some INFJs in the future.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Kida Kasha Hang in there Kida. Thanks for sharing with us and being vulnerable. Come over and join us at the Personality Hacker community on Facebook. We tend to attract people who not only understand you but think just like you (facebook.com/PersonalityHacker). We would love to see you there :-)

[@ruzifancy]

Being an INFJ is not at all a curse. It is a gift. This is a role in life. Your true call... the world needs our gift. Even when they don't know it... it is okay. They are not INFJ.they do not have to be. Let us be humble and be better at who we are and that is how we become fulfilled and probably end up understood or never but you did it!

[@JadedWings1]

One of my favorite things to do is to watch people in social settings and observe. As I observe I see behaviors such as mirroring and projection. Underneath all that is the persons real identity. I'd love to be a fly on the wall because most people don't like to be looked at the way i do lol

[@valerielinares2068]

I only recently realized I was an INFJ. I"ve taken these types of tests many times and sometimes it would type me as an ENFJ, an ENTJ... sometimes even an INTJ. But, as I watch more and more videos and consume more info on INFJs, it makes so much more sense! That is all.

[@pinkpeonyy]

I'm so happy I found you guys! I'm an INFJ mother and I want to be the best mom, so i have to work on passenger seat, thank you for all of your research and work!! and giving it in such a nice non judgemental way!

[@blakehoss6837]

This is all so fascinating. Just found out about this whole system today and that I'm an INFJ, and just having an objective viewpoint on my cognitive functioning has been life altering. This was a great video. While it can be exceptionally challenging, I'm very grateful to be the type I am.

[@charisLMT]

Great video! For years I thought I was an INTP. When I realized I was INFJ, I thought I would have to become an overly pleasing, weepy, emotionally unstable female. But your explanation of the INFJ's thinking processes made me realize I could still be a thinker, even though my place of growth is through feeling. Interesting observation: I've been a massage therapist for 15 years. Giving massage has always been empowering and energizing for me. Since I am attempting to open myself to my feeler process, I find massage more exhausting. I feel more alive and grateful for the opportunity to connect with people, but it leaves me with the need to crawl into bed and sleep.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks Charis for the comment.

[@maddieric]

As an INFJ I feel as if all people feed of of our energy. Whenever I am with a group friends I feel as if my energy is drained out. Sometimes as INFJ's we understand things and emotions of people so much that we are the most emotionally drained individuals in the world. And the loneliness is too much to bear. Clearing understanding others feelings and nobody to understand ours.

[@cykronthewarlock6315]

Excellent video. I'm an INFJ who recently separated from a relationship with an ENFP. The relationship was one sided (as in me listening to her issues mostly and me attempting to interject with experiences of my own that would help her and help her understand me more) and extremely short - a month and thirteen days. I knew we were going to breakup, due to keen intuition, so it wasn't much of a surprise. What you two mentioned about feeling other's emotion as my own, it's 100% accurate in my case. I've used the analogy of a sponge to describe it: I've stopped and prevented numerous physical fights at bars, restaurants, et cetera by inserting myself between the two people and absorbing the energies of both parties involved and I, then, "destroy" it within myself. I am, quite literally, an emotional sponge. Next, I have precognitive dreams and soul mate dreams. Soul mate dreams (sleeping or "awake") are dreams in which I become my Soul mate(s) awareness and experience what they are experiencing. The ENFP friend I mentioned above has tachycardia and one night around 3am, she went to the hospital for a racing heart. At the same time at my house, I awoke in a hospital bed with a racing heart. At first, I was excited because I thought I was astral projecting, which I had been practicing to no avail for awhile. When i did not leave my body, I became extremely frightened. Eventually, the "dream" dissipated into another dream. Later this day, my friend messaged me about her admittance to the hospital for a racing heart. Finally, I've had the classical mystical experience of God or as the Taoists say, "the ineffable." I won't delve into detail as this post is becoming lengthy but I left my body during a dream and was transported to a pure golden light. I said, "protect me!" At this point, I slowly returned to my body and was extremely grateful to have my body back. The fear was so great and wondrous, I now understand what it means to have the fear of God (and the admiration, I might add) instilled with me. Anyways, I enjoyed your video. As an INFJ, I appreciate it. I have no idea how my mind (or brain rather) works and it helps to have authorities, although I know an appeal to authority is a logical fallacy, in the subject of personality help me and others learn about themselves. Keep up the great work! Evan

[@joelmarkwitt]

Cykron The Yulrick Thanks Evan. I've been reading a lot on astral projection and other similar types of things. Fascinating to me. Have you had a chance to hear our full podcast on INFJs. I think you would really dig it: www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0034-infj-personality-type-advice/

[@marianobile6183]

I am in infj end had never really felt understood by others. I feel I can only be myself when I'm alone. Everything you said in this video is true for me. I couldn't believe that anyone could understand me and you guys put it into words. Thank you for this video.

[@hamza5106]

I love being an INFJ! I feel like God has blessed me with this incredible gift of intuition and empathy and that I can really do something good for humanity

[@yasyfinandiputri2909]

when i know that i am INFJ, i was kinda scared about how sensitive i am, want to be perfect, absorb other people's feeling, thinking about everything, being the rarest type and somehow feel lonely because not everyone can understand me, and the way i do something is different from other people. But right now, i don't feel that scared feeling anymore even i don't care. i try to trust myself and it works. I think being different means unique. And afterall i am not the only INFJ in this world :D

[@HM-rw5dz]

This makes me very proud to be an INFJ

[@joelmarkwitt]

Hannah Marie Cool. Thanks for the comment Hannah.

[@jdamicoofficial]

I am an INFJ... great video.. I think your points are right on. It's definitely difficult at times but it has its benefits!

[@jdamicoofficial]

jasondamico going to the website now to check out more...

[@viphancel]

Hey guys, as a recent and profound discovery that I am an INFJ, what you said about understanding the human condition through our sensitivity and knowing how the heart works, and really feeling others emote is something that I truly feel and I'm super passionate about. I HAVE ALWAYS felt the desire to help others become better and have always felt a deep wanting to make the world a better place in a philanthropic way. This means a lot to me! You have no idea how hard I've tried to figure me out, and the way you guys lay it out here for an INFJ and their attributes is simply incredible. Thank you! Thank you so much! I definitely agree on the one sided relationships. WTF! I've always listened to others all my life and it's very RARE when I'm listened to. It's sometimes extremely annoying and draining. Everything in this video is spot on. I will go to your website to figure out how to not be so affected by others emotions, that sounds amazing actually as it is something I've never been able to control. I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate this! Thank you for taking the time to add value to an INFJ.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks Hancel Villatoro Jr. for the kind words and feedback. Hope to see you around the Personality Hacker community over at Facebook.com/PersonalityHacker

[@melodycorsiglia2623]

Really enjoyed this! Loved the part about thinking/feeling balance and sometimes feeling a little cold. Balancing this "Coldness" with the really strong feelings of emotion and empathy is something I really struggle with. Feeling someone else's pain in your heart and balancing that with logical thinking and reasoning seems to be two traits that are really at odds with each other.... Thanks for the continued discussion of the INFJ personality!

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thank Melody for the feedback. Anything you've discovered in your life that has helped with this balance?

[@melodycorsiglia2623]

Joel Mark Witt I think the biggest thing that has helped me is realizing that the two traits are not mutually exclusive, and can be extremely beneficial when you can harmonize them to work together. For example, when giving advice to friends or family, sometimes the advice they want to hear is not always the advice they need to hear...the loving thing to do/say, may not always seem like it would be the loving thing to do or say. I think the personality aspect I'm trying to figure out now is figuring out when people need to hear the "cold hard truth" and when they just need a soft place to land. It's definitely an ongoing process to figure out how to really listen to what your intuition is trying to tell you in situations like this rather than reasoning it away. I think working toward being comfortable in who you are and having confidence in your abilities can go a long way toward balancing these two traits.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Melody Corsiglia Good perspective. Thanks again for sharing this.

[@RtsFps1]

I'm really glad that I went to college (still enrolled) and learned that I was an infj. Most likely everyone here is one and I'm sure seeing those 4 letters and reading the description was jaw dropping. I actually met another infj, but I didn't say anything, I could see it in her face. HEY...yall got a reason to not be depressed anymore! There are others out there! I just smile at the fact that someone out there: -wants to save everyone; idealistic; misunderstood; selfless; and many more. I'm 99% sure we would all be superheroes if we had powers lol.

[@raissazoff9945]

When you say infjs might not know how they pick up and simply know things about others you are somewhat correct. I lived 23 yrs thinking everyone had the ability to take one look at a person and completely sum them up.. To know how they were feeling in that moment and how they would respond to a request, all the way back to whether or not they had a troubled childhood. I remember at a young age going to friends houses and getting some crazy idea and having to ask their parents for permission.. I could take one look at the parents and instantly know if it was going to be a yes or no. I would even know what the degree of firmness to that yes or no would be and if they could be persuaded to a different answer. I was always right, even when my friends gave me the infamous "trust me I know my parents" answer.. I always knew it better.. Reading people is just what I've always done. I'm absolutely fascinated with observing and learning about people. It's so weird for me to think that not everyone gets this. .. Like do they not know how fake everyone is. It drives me nuts.. How do you weed out the insincere if you can't see their true feelings.. Most everyone is a facade!

[@evanmiles8906]

Thank you so much for this...For years, I've always scored as an INFJ on the MBPT but I've always made decisions and processed more like a T, but felt way more F-lead in my intuitions and in my healing processes. So knowing that there's a very real reason for that (being that the T is my ten-year-old process and linked to my co-pilot process) is game changing for me. You've really helped me with this. Thank you.

[@wellslarsen6744]

Thanks for the video! It's really good. I am an INFJ with a very developed thinking. I went into Computer Science and I switched to Security Engineering. One of the typical traits that I have never quite understood completely is absorbing emotions. I have never really recognized that about myself, except for maybe when conversing with someone. My tone and temperance will mimic the other person in the conversation. One thing that I am good at though is "knowing something is off", or having an hunches about things. I will usually dig and find proof before I make that known, however. My career field is in Security, so I am lucky enough where I may get to practice some counter surveillance techniques soon. I do think that I need to work my feeling component more. Looking forward to 2015.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Wells Larsen Thanks for the comment!

[@billiezahir5966]

All of my earliest and profound memories are of moments when my INFJ capabilities and flaws were evident. First clear memory of a personal thought was me thinking I had was responsible for caring for my younger brother now when his head was resting on my shoulder as he slept as my mom drove to my grandparents house after leaving my dad when I was 4. I just knew my family would never be stable and he needed somebody. When I was 6 I remember thinking I did not belong here while standing alone on school playground watching others play. When I was 14 I remember refusing to allow my father to buy me a leather jacket, despite wanting it, because I knew allowing him would make him feel like he made up for abusing me. Etc.... After I looked back, knowing I was an INFJ, these things made more sense and did not seem so weird. I am grateful for this new knowledge. However, after conversing with many other INFJs, I fear the comfort we get from understanding we are not the only people who have our rare personality traits can potentially hinder us from being our unique selves and fulfill our individual purpose in life. Does anybody else share my fear? If not, does anybody at least understand why I fear this?

[@murphykarrin2164]

I've found it out recently that I'm an INFJ and when I read the descriptions I was like - OMG, this is so me :) - You are so right when you're talking about the balance of the feeling and the thinking process. I've always loved humanities and arts but also maths and computer science. Finally, I've found linguistics that combined the "people-centered part" and the "scientist part" of me. :) However, I don't do linguistics anymore: I've realised that I need people to work with on a daily basis, analysing data is not satisfying enough. I love theories and logic but I also need to see how theories work in practice. Also, as my real "talent" lies in understanding others, I need to use this in my work: helping others is really important for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't like being in the centre of attention, I've never wanted to pose as a "guide" or "someone with superior knowledge" and the last thing I would want is to force my worldview on anyone. However, I've realized that certain people naturally "follow me", or ask for my advice, so I want to be available for people needing a person like me. As for the so called "psychic ability" of INFJs: it caused a lot of problems for me when I was younger because I was convinced that everyone can absorb other people's feelings the same way I did. As it was never a problem for me to understand other people's 'emotions', their 'state of being', it did not occur to me that maybe other people "work" in a different way. So I've never communicated verbally my feelings, I expected others to find them out. It took me some time to find out that I should tell others how I feel if I don't want to be misinterpreted. It is also essential to control the "absorbing emotions thing" because it can be really overwhelming: I have a kind of shield to do that, but because of that people usually see me somehow too cold and too rational... which, of course, is far from reality. And even if I try really hard I cannot use this shield with people really close to me. And there is another side of this "psychic thing": INFJs are probably one of the worst types having an argument with. As we are sensitive people, we cannot really stay calm during a fight with someone we really care about. However, as we know a lot about others, it is very easy to us to find the other's Achilles heel... Of course, we don't like fighting, but when we are involved in a fight, we can hurt others deeply. We all the know the truth hurts the most... I think all INFJs are very aware of this, so we do everything to avoid conflicts. This adds to our apparent cold-headed and non-emotional facade, but the truth is we are like volcanoes ready to erupt.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Love to hear updates as you continue merging your "scientist" and "people person." Hope to see you around the Personality Hacker community.

[@ElvenWisdom]

Can I say, you are very correct about our secret- we KNOW what you don't know about yourself and that lies in the subconscious. This is why I decided to become a spiritual teacher and healer, because I KNOW what hidden potential others have yet to find. INFJs work just like Galadriel did to Frodo...showing him his reflection in the mirror. The strange thing is sometimes we can't see our own reflection, but we can see others. It keeps us humble and thankful to have others show us somethings too. ✨

[@jennar.strawberry4938]

I really agree with the "secret" at the end. I'm married to an INTJ and something I've realized is how invisible the Ni process is. It's so fast and so subtle that they can be really aware of all kinds of things that just aren't clear. As a kid (my dad is an INFJ) this hurt my feelings a lot, because a lot of times I just didn't feel seen or understood. I am an INTP, but at times (I have recently realized that it is during the high estrogen phase of my hormone cycle), I experience very intensely feeling others feelings- at the store, anywhere- and it's very exhausting and overwhelming. I think sometimes people who experience this and aren't able to cope properly, become defensive and can resort to their Ti/ Accuracy position (I've noticed this with INFJ, myself as an INTP, and ISTP) to guard themselves from having to feel all of it. This can give a really misleading impression as to how much compassion or understanding they actually feel for others.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Jenna! Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate how you are willing to share your personal story to help others understand this more. It's interesting that hormone cycles play into it for you. I never considered that before as a possibility of how one's type shows up.

[@jennar.strawberry4938]

Joel Mark Witt Thanks! :) I think I can be kind of a Fe slut, to put it in kind of a vulgar way. lol I want to understand and I want to be understood! :) I actually wrote a little more about my experience with the effects of my hormones and the realization of it: personalityjunkie.com/08/intp-female-pms/ My mom is an ISTP, which has helped in some ways, because of having a lot of similarity as far as personality, hormones, defensive personality position, and inferior function. The differences gender has on personality is definitely something I'm very interested in! I guess having an F dad and T mom kind of gives me an interesting perspective.

[@maggiepeters7959]

When I was in high school, I told one of my friends that I thought I might have the ability to absorb people's emotions. I thought it was a bit silly even myself and low and behold I find out my personality type is INFJ. It was very fun for me to find that out because it resonated so much with my past experiences.

[@Literaturethrill1]

This video solved the problem I've struggled with. I took several online tests and they showed me that I'm either INFJ or INTJ (Although J and P are also close, I think Ni is my dominant function, which means I'm J type). By watching this, I found that INFJs' F is often very close to T. So maybe I'm INFJ. Thank you for sharing. I heard INFJ is the rarest type, and that makes sense to me, because I can't find anyone around me who is INFJ.

[@antoniajdodge]

Literaturethrill1 These two articles may help, even though they're comparing other types beyond just INFJ/INTJ: www.personalityhacker.com/intp-vs-intj/ www.personalityhacker.com/infp-vs-infj/

[@gdcompton1920]

I am an INFJ and I work in healthcare. Picking up on and taking on other's emotions is especially during high emotional situations. I've been brought to tears simply by reading the emotions on someone's face. The most recent time was when the EMTs brought in an unresponsive toddler. Dealing with kids is never easy and several of the EMTs were dads. I could see how much this case upset them and I was struggling to keep my composure. In an environment where we're supposed to be strong for our patients, it is difficult for me. I know showing emotions does not equal weakness but I fear in the area where I live, culturally it is seen as unpleasing or as a weakness. Socializing is incredibly challenging for me. I like people but rallying the strength to face a group of people often too much, especially if I don't know everyone well. As several have said already, being and INFJ is lonely.

[@ThePastAnalysis]

Hi Personality Hacker, I recently had my brother take your personality test and he actually isn't an ISFP, he's an INFJ. Out of all the tests and everything I've learned, I don't feel like anything hit my brother quite so perfectly. It's been such a long time to find this out. When I first got into MBTI years ago, my brother didn't like it and said stuff like "I won't be a apart of your system" and "I can't be typed within that system, there's too much going on about me." Eventually I wore him down and got him to take the test, I had him take the test on humanmetrics and 16types and he first got an ESFP and then an ENTJ. The ESFP seemed more accurate, the ENTJ not at all. Still, there were confusing aspects about the ESFP that *really* didn't fit at all. One factor in particular was that my brother is clearly introverted by MBTI standards. So, I thought he was an ISFP and became sure of that, ignoring yet another factor, which is kind of embarrassing in hindsight. I never noticed that kind of Fi passion to my brother. I was extremely doubtful at first that either of these were accurate, because I thought he was ISTP or ESTP. There was a much clearer Ti in him then Fi, but strangely a high Fe too. On top of that my brother clearly has no Si. He doesn't go off past experience and seems to really dislike people just doing that. So all that together, I thought he had Ti matched with a stronger Fe, was clear introvert, but absolutely did not have Si? That would only point to one type, the INFJ. However, I ignored that idea because I had this false idea that INFJs like talking ideas. I thought this because a really close friend of mine is an INFJ and willingly with lots of warmth talks ideas with me, an INFP. Additionally, I thought that it would only "make sense" that an INFJ would want to talk ideas, because they're so intuitive. My brother never talked ideas out loud and I always got the sense that he wouldn't talk with me on the subject and that therefore he's clearly not an INFJ. I really think this was a false conclusion of mine. I was going off of experience, not letting go of this idea that INFJs *must* be idea talkers. INFJs might like talking ideas, but they're Accuracy (Ti) makes it hard for them to do that. Also, INFJs might not like talking ideas, because they don't feel they can say them properly, but they do their best try anyway to appease someone else. This latter instance might be something my INFJ friend does for me. Two other aspects prevented me and him from realizing this. (1) That I desperately wanted to just come to a conclusion. The stress of not knowing annoyed me and so I was perhaps too quick on jumping on board with the ISFP type. (2) ISFP roughly made sense when I wasn't looking at my brother critically. While he is an introvert, he does actually engage in many sensual activities. The catch is.. he does this largely to destress. What helped give it away though was PersonalityHacker's growth metric. My brother doesn't have that distinct relationship with Sensation (Se) of enjoying the process majorly, but having it be a non-comfort zone. Instead that's Fe. My brother really got out of shell after taking up work (that intially he was very against). However, through this work he found something he really likes to do. Teach people, give them advice, and just help people. Is current job that he's loving right now is one with an affirming environment, where his job is to give people technical advice. He loves it and that always made me doubtful of if he was an ISFP, because his love didn't seem to be a spawn of internal passion. Then Personality Hacker made me even more doubtful, as I knew my brother didn't open up through Sensation. THEN he scored out as an INFJ and everything quickly made sense. Sorry to go on a huge tangent there. I just wanted to tell you this story and thank you all for the help. Your understanding of MBTI couldn't have been more helpful.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Past Analysis Thanks for the feedback and all the kind words.

[@HowCaseySeesIt]

I'm an INFJ and this is so scary accurate! Every single thing you said is true. I think and feel pretty equally, I pick up on other people's feeling instantly and I'm very intuitive about them. Also, I AM so used to people dumping their feelings on me because I'm a good listener, but all I really want and love is for people to listen to me sometimes too. Great video!

[@Sfgirl1299]

Thanks for this. A while ago, I took the test several times over and repeatedly got INFJ, so I figured I should expand that knowledge and see where it takes me. Mastering the Harmony component without becoming a hermit from time to time has proven to be a difficult task. If I can help others along the way though, I am sure the end result will be worth the pain.

[@joelmarkwitt]

Sfgirl1299 thanks for sharing. What's great about this is the journey we are all on. Each day we have a chance to become better versions of ourselves. Have you had the chance to listen to our full podcast on INFJs - I would love to hear what you think: www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0034-infj-personality-type-advice

[@dannyh010]

I've taken a handful of free online personality tests. One hit me as INTJ, the rest landed me as INFJ. I feel like after I've taken enough of them that I almost bias the test results because I know how to answer to get the INFJ result, but I identify strongly with many of the personality's traits. I've always felt a strong need to help others. I'm highly introverted, though I can be social when I need to be (for a limited time). I'm always in my head, always in the clouds. EXTREMELY vivid imagination. I've been writing most of my life (my natural talent). Yes, I often feel like an outsider though I wish I didn't most of the time. It is a RARE gift when I meet someone I really connect with. I could go on, but these are the strongest elements that come to mind. Learning about my personality has been SO relieving. I'm finally understanding how I tick. I've always helped others but often ignored myself, and It's time for me to find my own way. Thanks for the video :)

[@ericalauren1794]

INFJ here

[@FieldName6015]

I am an INFJ, i had just learned this a few days ago. it has shone light on how i am. because i had always thought that i was a freak or that something was wrong with me. this was because i experienced a lot of one-sided relationships, along with no one understanding me and i didn't even understand myself. i had always felt alone in the world and that had led to a slight depression. that i easily got over after a while but i still couldn't shake the feeling until i took the personality test in health class. I figured out who i was and am trying to learn everything about myself so that way i can grow and be able to show people the real me even though it is the hardest thing to do. I've watched all my friends that took the test that i've talked to just ignore it, they don't even care, my fraternal twin sister looked at me with disbelief that i would continue looking at this. for my mom, i almost felt like she was dissapointed in me or didn't even care. i love knowing who i am but it's scary, i've just started talking to people about this and i almost a couple times completely dropped my investigation about infjs and it's only been a week. the second time that i was thinking about dropping it was when i ended up hearing, well not hearing but feeling her not care even though she said she did. then i decided to jump in and tell someone else who wasn't a friend or family member. i told my boyfriend who is an INFP. he understood, he listened and he took interest in what i had to say. he even wanted to learn more and asked me about my personality since it was so complex. this helped me build my courage to tell my band teacher, he is a very very awesome fun guy who is the best in the world. even though i told him a few, brief things, he understood. Then i tackled my two identical twin best friends with information about it, they not only accepted me, they listened. so that's my story for now.

[@awesomedog7123]

Kaleb Buck Wow! It's great that you managed to tell people who you are! How did you so that? I also just discovered that I'm an INFJ and I feel a lot of what you also felt! Mabye we could talk more! I'm a 15 year old girl from Romania.What about you?

[@BridgetCappel]

I thought I was INTJ for the longest time because I never considered that I could possibly be a feeling type. Now that I have figured out I am actually INFJ, things make so much more sense. I always wondered why everything is so well articulated in my head, but when I try to communicate my point verbally, a lot of what comes out is babbled garbage. We have so many complex dots that are connected in our brains that our mouths can't keep up with it. I would say my INFJ secret is that though people see me on the outside as quiet and insecure/arrogant sometimes, when you get to know me and can be rather funny, energetic, and I have a charming weirdness that likes to appear. I've also been nicknamed the therapist and some of my social circles for my skills in listening and advising.

[@andreiajanela1981]

Hi, I am an INFJ and loved to hear your explanation, this is not new for me but the way you put this into perspective is, and I amazed by it!!! I would like to share that for our personality type is very helpfull to practice Mindfulness Meditation, it puts you in touch with yourself. There you create a safe haven and you can feel whatever you want. When I started this practice I experienced a whole new world, I became much more aware of my extraverted sensing and I am able now to identify better how and what i think, and how things come to me. I still experience struggle to open up sometimes and to stop feelings and moods from other people come to me. But I believe this too I am going to overcome, and probably your genius style will help me! This is being a path of tremendous growth for me and hopefully my advice is going to help other INFJ's. :D

[@bethanyholbrook9850]

I had no idea "one sided relationships" was an INFJ thing. I've been down on myself that I'm doing something wrong... that perhaps I should speak up more or I'm letting the other person dominate, etc. I don't share unless I am asked. I'm not going to fill the silence with what I did Saturday or my dreams for the future... however, if you ask me, I'll be happy to tell you! I feel that because I listen, the other person is so excited to have a captive audience they forget to ask ME questions. Does anyone have insights to this?

[@joelmarkwitt]

Bethany Beery Thanks for the comment. I've been a pretty good listener all my life (disclosure: I'm not an INFJ). And yes - from my experience - good listeners don't get to do much talking. I've had to re-train myself to speak up and talk about me more. It is very hard at first and as I keep it up I'm getting better at it.

[@Lancer78x]

I'm an INFJ and it wasn't until I was older before I really realized how much to really trust my intuition. I work in the technology industry, and for while I used to handle escalations calls for Dell because of my ability to just calm people down. My kids would swear I could read their mind when I walked into a room and immediately knew they was hiding something, or had feeling something was wrong :) It's been interesting and I often find things like these quite fascinating. Thanks for sharing video.

[@SeannaGMondino]

This totally hit home. My husband had really bad anxiety and until he got on medication to start taking care of it, I felt it and it made me think I was the one that had anxiety. After that moment I could start picking up other people who are feeling this way and if I am close to them I talk to them about it... I would rather not have this super power thank you. :)

[@TheDiamondNet]

I'm an INFJ and I was a teacher for two years. I enjoyed it in many ways, but it was always like a bunch of emotions hitting me all day. Like a million tiny arrows hitting me in the soul. It was overwhelming. Now I'm no longer teaching but I'm determined to find a way to teach and help others by creating videos here. I'm hoping that this will mitigate some of the effects. But at the end of the day I'd never trade my intuition and feelings for anything.

[@D.E.Middleton]

I have read much about why I am this way. As difficult as it can be, I wouldn’t have it any other way. The inverted institution can be draining, compassion fatigue, but I make deep connections by tapping into others needs. I now know it is a gift. When I flex and fulfill a need for someone I get the strangest stair from them. It’s very gratifying. Thank you for the content. It’s always interesting to learn more about what I’m capable of.

[@SteveRodgersChannel]

Wow. You guys hit the nail on the head. I cannot even express how one-sided my romantic relationships have tended to be. I also often joke about not having feelings, when in fact I become acutely aware of my own feelings when I am not appreciated for the thoughtfulness and effort I have put into my partner's experience and well-being. There is a lot of dissatisfaction there.

[@ErikThor]

Thanks for this video! I like your combined energy and understanding of the types. I agree that nfjs are great at picking up on emotions - but I think nfps are also very good at it. I call them healers and paladins for that reason, nfps also make great coaches and they also dabble as oracles sometimes. Its just that our HSP, the ability to read, manifests differently. And yeah, most nfjs have a bit of a tsundere thing to them. They appear cold sometimes and hot sometimes. Its probably the same for sfjs. :)

[@joelmarkwitt]

Thanks Erik for the feedback. This article seems like it may address some of what you are saying: www.personalityhacker.com/infp-vs-infj/

[@SmittenKitten.]

Really, thank you for all the work you guys do. It's all so truly intriguing!! At times it gives me goosebumps because you describe me (and all the other INFJs) so competently. I listened to the podcast - LOVED IT - it could have been three times as long and it would have been too short - and wanted to comment about the idea of picking up on others' "emotions" (I put "emotions" in quotes because it's not just emotions I feel like I pick up on, but I don't have another word or group of words that feel right, and I really dislike the idea of parapsychology (like, I'd never say it was ESP)): when I was a teenager, before I knew about the typing system, I used to explain my "super powers" to friends as "invisible tentacle" or "invisible wires" that I had strung around physical places (i.e.: a physical place where I physically was, like school, home, ballet studio, etc.), and those tentacles could reach out and touch any person in the building to "sample" what was going on there. I cannot explain exactly how I could do it, but it's always been something I could do. If I were upstairs in my bedroom, I could "pull" on a wire and check-in on my father who was downstairs in his study to see how he was doing. It sounds TOTALLY, MIND-BLOWINGLY, BAT-SHITTINGLY ludicrous, I know, and as I type it I'm feeling kind of "ewww," but it's just true. It had almost a visual quality to it, although that doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense, either. God, I sound like an escaped mental patient who got hold of THE INTERNET.

[@joelmarkwitt]

SmittenKitten You don't sound crazy at all. You sound like an INFJ... which is a good thing :-)

[@SmittenKitten.]

Joel Mark Witt Haha... You're very kind, and actually made me blush!

[@NtheMan]

As an INFJ, I thought that this was a very accurate description of what I go through every day. However, one point that I see differently from the way it is described is the whole feeling others emotions part of it. I don't think of it as an emotional sponge that sucks everything up, I think of it more like a set of tuning forks in my head, each one tuned to a different emotion, which resonate when I'm around that emotion. I like this description better, because emotional sponge makes it sound more like all the emotions get jumbled up and confused with each other, where as in my experience, I can feel all of the emotions around me, and I can pick out individual ones and decide which ones are stronger than others.

[@leahsunshine8478]

I've done a lot of research on the INFJ personality type. but you guys have explained it so easily. this literally helped me learn more about myself and just connect some dots that hadn't connected yet. thanks you guys :)

[@joelmarkwitt]

Awesome. Thanks Kat Sunny for sharing how the video impacted you. Hope we see you around the Personality Hacker community.

[@leahsunshine8478]

no problem :)

[@antoniajdodge]

Feel free to check out our INFJ podcast. It's a deeper dive into the type and may be helpful. :) www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0034-infj-personality-type-advice/ -A-

[@leahsunshine8478]

Thanks! ill definitely check it out :)

[@leahsunshine8478]

So i just finished the podcast, and i've never felt so understood. I have such a hard time connecting with people intimately and how to expel all the emotional garbage that piles up. all the tips and insight you guys gave are truly helpful. thank you again :)

[@Omoroseangel]

I feel like this has been spot on, and so very helpful thank you very much! I feel very burned out and withdrawn as of late, extremely misunderstood and just tired of it, so I withdraw to protect myself.

[@Vyca66]

This video just touched my heart because this is just so true, I mean...I'm over-emotional and this is just a hard thing to deal with. Earlier I couldn't pretty much handle people and I got sick mentally of people's feelings and I had a friend who just ruined my days and I wanted to help her and be there for her even if I had worse struggles than her and I was there and I ended this friendship and now I feel so much better, opened and relieved and I can handle other people's feelings better and you know, it just gave me experience and patience.. I was always used and people someday in the present come to me to just..you know, complain about their lifes and stuff.. And now that I truly found my personality type I feel like I'm not the only one and that I'm special and rare in a way. Thank you for this video, I really appreciate it. With love from Hungary

[@poofiemoofie4316]

I'm an INFJ and the things that you said are very true. But you forgot to mention that our passion can easily become manipulation. I've had many opportunities to manipulate someone but always steered away from it because of my morals. Another thing that is very personal to me is that my best friend is depressed and comes to me for help a lot, and of course I try everything that I can to help her, but that comes with a consequence. Her emotions and burdens therefore become my emotions and burdens. I'm not depressed but I get upset more often because of everything that's going on. I've never told anyone this because I don't want them to worry about my problems. I've been getting more and more anxiety attacks when I'm in a crowed area and it just feels like nobody understands me. That may be because I'm still a teenager but that's honestly what I feel. I once tried to open up to my best friend and she didn't respond. I don't think our relationship is deep enough for that.

[@jaydencparker4968]

I think as "givers" we draw a lot of "takers". I have found that generally, the people who often come to us with their problems and woes are often the least receptive to returning the favor.

[@maryfarrell2296]

Poofie Moofie ,.. 1) Take care of Yourself,.. 2) Take the above words,. Seriously,.. ♡ Think about it,.. & think of How,.. you could take care of yourself,. What that would look like? And what would that feel like to you?,. And how? How could you do that for yourself,.. Make it happen! Make it a habit! Good Luck :)

[@leona7522]

Quite accurate. It took me 20 years of analysis to learn how to set boundaries with other people as my usual tendency was to absorb psychic toxins like a sponge. The other would go away relieved or happy and I felt like an enormous weight had been put on my shoulders. I've learned that compassion for others includes myself in the equation and without that self preservation, I'm not of much use to others. Thanks for your insightful treatment of this.( But I'll probably still take things in. Lol.)

[@emmanuels.4576]

I am an INFJ and also an Aquarius. Like all INFJ's I knew something was missing and still feel a part of my heart is missing. Im also a twin. As an INFJ I have been a CNA for 17 years now. The care I give I know is unique, and has gotten me into trouble. My co-workers in the past have been so jealous I've been threatened, sabotaged, bullied.etc. To this day I still have issues. 12 hour shifts really drain me once clocked out. My friend told me once I was different but I never knew why. I went through something that affected my life forever. Gas lighting abuse. Going through the abuse and surviving it, I believe triggered and opened my way of thinking. It took 4 years to stabilize my mind but everyday I still remember everything. Im still me but in different. I know things even more. Im aware of everything. I notice everything. I can't stand liars. But I don't say anything. I know what people are up to if they are up to something. In my field not only is my mind focused on caring for peoples grandparents but at the same time im studying them as an INFJ. from a freckle to a hip injury to there mental state. Gestures are major for me. While doing all of this, im doing the same to coworkers. My mind has been developing so much I feel ....I know change is coming. I have learned to accept my personality. Somehow I feel like im evolving. Either way, to all INFJ personalities out there.....i really wish I could fill that void. Love always, Emmanuel.

[@kj1227icecap]

Thank you. This is great!!! How'd you learn this so well? I'd love to do this. This is 100% true. I can see through people. Maybe not right away but I see things from day one and then as I get to know them...I start to either feel closer or repelled...it's really terrible how deeply repulsed I am by certain personalities. I still haven't figured out how to deal with these people other than to distance myself...I find them extremely toxic to me, to the point that it deeply affects my emotions...and I feel a little out of control and it upsets me that others' energies affect me so much. If you can offer advice on how to manage my repulsion that'd be wonderful. I'm pretty certain all INFJs would love the advice as well!! You guys rock!!!

[@jonathangross2905]

I just found out I’m INFJ. This makes everything so much more understandable. I thought I had social anxiety disorder, OCD, and lots of other things. Who knows. I always feel like a third wheel and in my elementary years I never had close friends until 6th grade and that only lasted for a year. Nobody knows who so really am except my family and others in my immediate circle. I don’t know why I attended senior prom but I did. I watched Netflix the entire time, sitting alone. When I got asked to dance by my crush I didn’t even dance because I was too shy. I’ve never been in a meaningful relationship with someone compatible and my first couple jobs dealing with customers were nightmares. But it’s reassuring to know I have the rarest personality type and that I’m my own person.

[@tbagwellpianist]

Thank you for putting this out. I'm just finding out about these types today and it's really opening up my mind as to why I do certain things and think certain ways.

[@joelmarkwitt]

tbagwellpianist Cool. Glad to have you a part of the Personality Hacker community.

[@micahsnow346]

What it I don't want to stop all the "psychic junk" from coming in? Is it bad that I kind of revel in it like a little psychopath? Honestly it is what connects me the most to other people

[@joelmarkwitt]

Hi Micah Snow - I don't think it is weird at all. Sounds like you have embraced it. :-)

[@trumanshow4863]

Micah Snow I love this comment, as an INFJ.

[@aurea1444]

as an INFJ, I’ve thought of this a lot before. It’s like getting a high listening to other people’s problems then them thanking me for listening and giving them advice on what to do. sometimes being an INFJ is borderline psycho haha. all the feelings you have, amplified by other people’s vice versa. and the never-ending tug of war of being alone or finding company. I am quite lucky because my husband totally understands my need of space and listens to my deep feelings too

[@lolikaitlollerskates4984]

As an INFJ, Think you hit a lot of it on the head. Also, can be hard for me in personal relationships because I've only had maybe 1 or 2 people that come to mind out my entire life that I've actually been able to just throw out all the garbage to, and them know where I was coming from and sift through it. 99.9999% of the time it's because I don't even try because even "friends" I consider closer would think I'm a psycho or worse just nod and have nothing to say because they just don't understand what the hell I'm talking about because they don't process the world in the manner that I do. And the reason I don't talk about it with people hardly ever is because I know that's how they'll respond. In one good conversation I can know weather spilling the stuff I'm talking about is worth while or not and 99.99999% of the time it's not. I don't know how many other INFJs feel that same way but personally that's been my case.

[@thatcatscreaming6aminthemo529]

I was an INFJ about a year ago. But then I experienced anxiety and all kinds of mental frustration. A year went by , I did a couple of personality test and I've changed to an INTJ. Incredible.