petty divorce drama that made it to AITA - REACTION

[@LazyIRanch]

My ex hated it when I would hang out with his first wife at family gatherings and always give a sincere compliment about her hair, or just saying, "Hey gurl! You're looking good!" and then we would talk about our sons (my ex wasn't the father of either). Our sons both have similar mental illness challenges, she gave me tips of how to handle IEPs with the school to stand up for his rights. She's a cool lady. Our now mutual ex is a jerk!

[@kaybadberg534]

I hope you guys stayed friends despite not having that connection through your mutual ex.

[@zapbutton8553]

That!♡

[@BrianAndresScott]

Being adults

[@msbee5183]

Thats wassup! Women bringing each other up! Helping each other out. Love this comment

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

That's awesome! I love when women can be grown ups in those situations and become genuine friends! I feel a natural bond with many women and believe in "the Sisterhood" whole heartfelt! ❤

[@Nana-pw6ix]

I was the first wife and kept my married surname. I met the second wife nearly 20 years later when she also divorced him. She also kept her married surname. We used to go out together and the following party riddle got us free drinks every time: "we have the same last name. Our children are related but we are not related. How is this possible?" No-one ever guessed that we were both ex wives of the same person.

[@t-and-p]

I love that you met and became friends with the second ex wife! So often, we women are pitted against each other when a man is involved, and it doesn't need to be that way. As you both have kids, it's great that you guys have a relationship, as it allows your kids to know their step siblings and spend time with them in a relaxed environment (kids always pick up on tension, don't they?). Love the party riddle, too - may it keep the drinks flowing for many moons to come! 😎💖🥂

[@countrychristian3300]

LMAO😁😄😅😂

[@FayieElphis]

I adore this for you!!!

[@chrissyduncanson7461]

Thats hilarious

[@11jrg11]

That man better run......and fast! 4:39

[@lindalehr1551]

Fun Fact. The actual old-school etiquette regarding this is that the first wife keeps the last name but uses her first name. I.e. Mrs. Mary Jones. The current wife is addressed as Mrs. Husband's first name and last name. I.e. Mrs. James Jones. How do I know this? In the 70s, when I was a teenager, my dad once addressed a letter to my grandma as Mrs. first name our last name, and she was furious when she got it. She called him up to proclaim that she was a widow, not a divorcee! 😅

[@DawnKellyMedia]

That's really interesting.

[@berthaadamson1225]

Another fun fact: there is no law in this country that requires a woman to change her name when she gets married, the law just recognizes this tradition from some cultures. People forget that women basically have all kinds of stupid rules about our names in the dominant culture here, rules which indicated which man was responsible for us. Miss Jane Doe was unmarried and needed a male relative to handle her affairs. 🙄 Any legal or financial business with Mrs. John Smoh had to go through her husband Mr. John Smoh first. 😏 This is not ancient history, watch some TV shows from the 70s to see how recent. And now that women have more individual rights not tied to a male people are uncertain how women should handle the name thing. I’ve seen other instances where people think the woman should go back to her maiden name after a divorce. (That it’s called a “maiden” name says a lot too.)

[@minagica]

Wow, to me being named entirely after your husband is so identity-effacing and insulting, it's insane to me that anyone would want to be known as that and that alone. How self-objectifying, borders on fetish...

[@HirataRei]

Cool fact to know! Thanks!

[@Lila-jz7mv]

This is actual fun fact 🤗

[@HalfNHalf.]

As someone that has spent 16+ total hours sitting in the DMV, banks, AAA, gym, post office and Social security office changing my last name to my husbands last name, I totally understand why some people don't change their last name after marriage or after divorce lol the process is insane

[@LazyIRanch]

I changed my name back to my maiden name 6 years ago after my divorce, but had the name change noted in our divorce decree to make it a little easier, it was still a huge hassle. I should have never changed from my maiden name in the first place. I love my last name, because I love my family's history and I'm proud to be related to my great-grandparents.

[@journeehyde9128]

The social security office lost my social once.I changed my name right before COVID.And I literally could not get into an office to get another one until two years later because they refused to send me a new one by mail. I have been married for 5 years and my name has been my husband's last name for the last two years. I will never change my name ever again even if we get divorced.Because I would rather eat glass.Then do that all over again

[@Carla-ns8rx]

In my country you can not change your name unless it´s an adoption. Normally you are who you are from birth to death.

[@LisaFrank39]

It really is. I had a co-worker who went through it and it took two years for it to finalize.

[@The_one_the_only___bren]

This I got married last year. I go by my husbands last name for friends and family but I go by my legal name when it comes to doctors and stuff.

[@yaoirocks43]

Dude...he started dating the Gal when she was 21, he is almost 40....(Which like its allowed but feels very midlife crisis) And then she wants this poor woman to go through the hoops to change her name in a year?!?! It can take a loooong time to change it!! This young lady isnt ready to be part of a blended family.

[@caljones]

One of my friends was married for 8 years or something and she never succeeded in getting her name legally changed to her husband’s

[@Zaftique]

Srsly, I feel they're burying the ledge on this nugget - like wtf

[@misshell]

It's gross. The guy is a creep!

[@darylenelorde8388]

It's nasty. I don't care if they're two consenting adults. It's nasty and selfish on his part. Mid 30s, carrying around kids from a past relationship and you go for a girl who probably hadn't finished college when you met. Go for someone your own age and let her enjoy her youth, creep.

[@dudeorduuude5211]

Dating older isn't really a big deal. When I was 23, I dated 20 years older and he was awesome. But I wasn't an insecure brat like this woman.

[@sarahplustheboys3338]

Fun fact: My Twin’s “dad” owes over 190,000$ in CS. He magically had enough money for a lavish wedding and to support his new daughter’s with wife. He’s now 41, divorced and living with his mother. My new hubby and I are incredibly close with his ex-wife, we co-parent like a dream and spend all holidays and birthdays together. (We have never fought and literally have such a great time). She also treats my twin’s as part of the family and will send /buy them special treats.(since we are a package deal). It’s amazing how maturity and putting children first can bring so much more love and happiness into your life rather than turmoil.

[@themslydia]

My God! What state are you in? MO like $10k behind will throw them in jail.

[@stischer47]

My ex- left me with our 4yo so she could get back with her ex-. I didn't want our son to think badly of her, so I always made sure he got Christmas and birthday gifts. When he reached 12 he told me he knew what I was doing so I could stop. I told him I didn't want him to think badly of his mother. He replied, "I don't think of her at all". She was out of his life until he was getting married at 24 and she contacted him to say that "as his mother" she wanted to be a part of his new life. He told her that he already had "mothers" (my mother, women of my family, family friends) and if she showed up, he'd have her arrested. She didn't. And he's happily married to a woman who is fantastic wife and mother to my grandkids.

[@LeaverWild]

What did you do to her? 😌

[@jessperry9936]

Sounds like you did a great job on your own, I hope both of your futures are happy and ex free

[@middaydraws3379]

​@@LeaverWild sounds like he did nothing. Not everyone needs a reason to abandon their family on a whim

[@Wolf_Ma_Staaaaaaaa]

@@LeaverWildthat’s a childish assumption. I can understand that some men are jerks (that’s just putting it nicely) to the point where we as women and mothers get fed up and leave. But some women don’t need a reason to just wake up one day and decide they don’t want to be wife’s and mothers any more. So let’s not be that person and assume that someone did something to another person to make them leave.

[@priscillahudson3625]

@@LeaverWildwow! That’s awfully assumptive. Sounds like you’re projecting YOUR issues.

[@jillianj310]

Red flags all over the place with that first one. As a kid of happily divorced and still friends parents, if the girlfriend can't handle the family AND the family doesn't like her, it's not going to work. Period. Before my dad met his current wife, he dated a woman who was AWFUL. Thankfully my mom doesn't take crap and told her how it was going to be and if she didn't like it then she needed to leave, because our family came first. My mom and dad were high school sweethearts who drifted apart then had a second chance, but after having me and 13 years of marriage, realized they were better as friends. My dad wasn't close with his family and both of his parents had passed away... so our family, and my mom's was always going to be his family. And my mom wasn't going to let a legitimately mental person come between my dad and us. Thankfully he came out his senses, and later met someone wonderful. And now both of my remarried parents hang out as a group and even have gon on group friend trips together with my dad's college friends (who my mom got very close with while they were together and they didn't want to let her go either haha). And turns out, my step mom actually dated one of his college friends as a young teen. Haha😂 Rhode Island is SMALL. Lol

[@shannap.lawnerd125]

❤this

[@sngray11]

Sadly, I don’t get along with my stepfather or my Dad’s girlfriend of twenty eight years, but they’re with my parents, not my sisters or I. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Also, my parents couldn’t agree on anything after they got divorced when I was five years old and had to go to court for everything up until my youngest sister turned 18. So regardless of whether parents get a long after getting divorced and regardless of whether their significant other gets along with their children, sometimes it doesn’t matter as long as that parent is happy,

[@Sorchia56]

Neither of my parents discussed their upcoming marriages to the vile people they chose to marry. Egg donor married her affair partner one month after the divorce papers were signed. Had a full on wedding, it was ridiculous. Dad married a woman who is 15 years older than me, I’m the baby! My oldest sister is 6 years older than me. Vile. At least the AP was kind and loving toward us all, more so than our egg donour. My dad’s wife immediately attempted to boot us out of his life but we stood firm and made her life as miserable as possible. Sadly, at 53 I’ve outlived my siblings. Haven’t spoken or seen egg donour and AP since I graduated secondary school. My dad and are very close and his wife has not changed one bit in the 45 years! It’s so bizarre but fun to watch her squirm! 😈

[@laughingcorrpseholly4136]

After my mom and dad got divorced when I was 8 my dad did date but one thing he never did? He never brought these women around me and he never re-married. He didn’t get into an actually serious relationship where he even briefly thought about marrying her until I was 21 he always told me he didn’t want to put me through that or worry about them trying to come between me and my mom or me and him. He would date girls that would always express wanting to meet me and as soon as they did he would be like “yeah no” 😅this one girl actually went behind his back and bought Disney tickets for me and her and planned out this whole day with me and was trying to like needle her way into my life and my dad absolutely flipped out at that. 😂😂

[@Margotrivera1980]

This is so real and beautiful, sounds like you have a lovely family

[@ChaquetaB]

If new wife doesn't want to have the same last name as ex, she has some options: 1) Don't take husband's name. 2) Have husband take new wife's last name. 3) Have new couple chose a new name. Harassing ex-wife change hers is not one of the options.

[@impalamama7302]

Your number 1 option is what first came to my mind, but I think the young little lollypop really really WANTS to be a "Mrs" and sounds a bit high maintenance. Mention that to her would be an epic troll, IMHO, she would lose her mind with outrage.

[@berthaadamson1225]

Frankly, I think these days couples should discuss name options. Why in this day and age should the woman be the only one making choices about her name?

[@impalamama7302]

@@berthaadamson1225 You 100% right. But emotions run high and ever since "No Fault" Divorce came into law, marriage and family has become a righetous mess. I had a typical "90's" family in the 60s back when things were different and it was weird and purposed in my mind not to do that as an adult and had a 60's family in the 90's, and while it probably was weird for my four children, they thrived. Hopefully the pendulum will swing back that way again and families are stable and married couples stick it out except for reasons like abuse, addiction, and possibly adultery. But adultery in a BIG way. I dunno. It's sad to me. I hope we can do better as a society. Just saying

[@berthaadamson1225]

@@impalamama7302 I blame it more on romantic notions above love and marriage. Marriage was not created for love. It is a legal construct for assets, inheritance and legitimacy of birth and social construct for creating ties within a community. That’s why divorce was rarely allowed except in extreme circumstances. Love was a bonus if it happened. But love is often idealized and not always compatible with traditional marriage which is more like a business partnership. Why wives were told to put up with the occasional punch or longterm girlfriend as long as he was a good provider. I think we just need to stop with black and white views of relationships and find our place on that spectrum of gray of what each wants or expects, along with making sure our partner is close by on the spectrum. And respect where others are on the spectrum. Maybe half the marriages dissolving is more natural. I’ve known several of those 60s marriages that turned into people staying married but leading separate lives after the kids left, more like roommates than lovers. For me, that makes no sense.

[@ChaquetaB]

@impalamama7302 what's a "BIG way" for adultery? How much cheating is okay?

[@HillCountryBluebonnet88]

I agree. When kids are involved, they need to be on board with adding a new person into the family. It’s a package deal. When they don’t like your kids, that’s a dealbreaker for me.

[@randybunker5345]

If that's the case,not many single people with kids would ever get married.More often than not kid's don't like a step parent even if they treated them great.

[@kahp1072]

Honestly? I think bringing are strangers into your kids house and forcing them to have a relationship with someone that most of the time, aren't found of it, it's very telling about the parents. I mean, date all you want, but marriage/living together without considering your kids feelings will just give you are free NC card in the future. Some people are just too desperate to not be alone and destroys the relationship with their kids in the process.

[@rachelsato7953]

My mom remembered this radio show that was like one of those “Dear Abby” newspaper columns. But instead of writing in, you called in. And this one woman called in and was asking “Abby” for advice on dating with kids. She was complaining about how hard it is to be a mom and parent her kids, and meet a man who’d be willing to date a woman with kids, and finding a man who gets along with her kids. And instead of giving her advice on how to get the kids out of the way and find and date men, Abby yelled at her about complaining about this. She said it shouldn’t be her priority to find a boyfriend/husband. Her priority should be keeping her kids safe and raising them to the best of her ability and getting to spend all the time they want/need with their mother. And if she did find a man to make extra double sure he’s good and the kids like him. And that’s the advice my mom remembers, her and my dad aren’t divorced but if she did she assured my sister and I there is no way she’d ever prioritize a man over us. Cause if her new boyfriend hurt us in any way - she’d never forgive herself.

[@HillCountryBluebonnet88]

@@rachelsato7953 That’s a big reason why I didn’t date after my divorce. I also didn’t want to subject them to a revolving door of strange men coming into and out of our lives. I was so afraid that someone would hurt them, molest them and they weren’t old enough to tell me. This was in the early days of the internet and dating sites. Many women had profile pictures that included their children.There were pedophiles who after being arrested, said they found the children they sexually assaulted by targeting single mothers to get easy access to their children. By the time they were old enough that I could worry about little less, I had gotten comfortable without dating or having a boyfriend.

[@dominiquekramer4060]

Def agree my dad got with a woman right after my mom dad well they were already seeing eachother and the way I met her was her waltzing into the house claiming not to be drunk (my mom was a drunk and that’s how she passed so I knew who was drunk and who wasn’t pretty freaking well by age ten) I immediately told the courts I didn’t want to live with him he was PISSED took my legal gaurdian to court over and over the judge finally saw why I didn’t and ruled it as it was ❤

[@Jwatt8554]

My mother kept my dad's last name even though they divorced when we were toddlers. When she remarried she kept the name and hyphenated her new husbands name to it. I asked her about it once randomly (as an adult) and she said she didn't want any confusion for us growing up when she came to major life events and it is a bond we shared. Changing it to her felt like she was letting us go and I have always had the upmost respect for her decision.

[@RuffLifee]

That's really kind of awesome

[@beebeelicious]

That's very interesting, I'm deciding at the moment what to do.

[@Jwatt8554]

Do what you feel is right. I think that is the end all take all. What you do is valid and correct with respect. Much like my mother did years ago. 😌

[@beebeelicious]

@@Jwatt8554 thank you

[@kiriwood1950]

I had similar - my mum and dad got divorced almost 40 years ago, but my mum still has her married name. She didn't want a different name to her kids while we were growing up, and eventually couldn't be bothered with the hassle of changing all of her paperwork! Ironically, now me and my siblings have all changed our last names to our spouses' names, so mum is the only one left with the originial family name since my dad passed! 😆

[@moonsaces2122]

My mom and I don’t have the same last name, she kept her maiden name so she didn’t have the change her new teaching license when she got married. And when I was born I got my Dad’s. It wasn’t a big deal but it did cause confusion growing up. Sometimes people didn’t understand she was my mom and my parents weren’t divorced. Half my friends growing up just called her Mrs. Dad’s Last Name. But her name was her choice and one she stands by.

[@lynnshire7577]

We need to start calling it your birth name, not your maiden name. My dad changed his last name in his twenties because no one could pronounce it. Was his original name his maiden name?

[@KatiB5587]

The editor needs a raise for sneaking René Descartes in when you said "....you exist". That was a moment of beauty.

[@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl]

That WAS!!!

[@fire_lily895]

I agree !

[@StrangeFacinations]

She is really good with referencing unexpected things.

[@KatiB5587]

@@StrangeFacinations Right!? I have myself a giggle when I notice a sneaky little reference, but that Descartes one made me so happy because of the subtlety without "I think, therefore I am" being included. I love a good philosophy or classic literature moment, and I love the people who also recognise and appreciate them. 🩷

[@silentfriend369]

Yes

[@ruthhackney9403]

When I was in my 20’s I had a date with a cute older guy with 2 kids. During the date, he said he’d just been laid off(that day). No biggie, life happens. But what made the first date the last is he bragged that his FIRST call was to his attorney to get child support reduced. 😂 No thanks-I’d prefer a man who takes care of his own.

[@blizz2795]

HUGE red flag!!

[@kallista5194]

What a smeg-head! You let go of your cable bill, not your children!

[@Garbeaux.]

He actually admitted that? Did he think that was gonna impress you? 😂

[@chrisrichmond3385]

Guess you've never been screwed over in family court. That changes your perspective.

[@silentfriend369]

Child support can literally put people in poverty... I used to feel the same way as you, but not anymore. If he was making good money, the child support was probably quite hefty. Without a job, he's unlikely to be able to pay what he use to. The correct thing for him to do is to report his lack of employment so they can reduce child support to something he can actually afford until he gets himself another job.

[@mollysargent389]

Dude, I changed my last name in the past year and it took MONTHS to get everything transferred over. My mom and MIL were like "it's not that bad" YEAH FOR YOU IN THE 80s IT WASN'T. So much of ourselves exist online now

[@ReneeMarchigano]

I changed my last name back to my maiden name asap when I got divorced, but I didn't want to be associated with him anymore. His kids (from his marriage before I met him) asked to be adopted so they could change their last name to mine and my current husband's last name to be rid of him too. 😆 we officially adopted them ❤

[@DawnKellyMedia]

That's beautiful! Congratulations on the adoption.

[@LEMATTOFFICIAL]

That's wild! You a good human being

[@preciousmess6782]

That made me tear up. Im so glad people like you exist❤❤

[@matthewharvey6017]

i call bullshit prove it, they dont need to be adopted to change thier last name not to mention he would no longer be financially responsible , no way in hell you or any woman take that on and give him easy out. liar liar pants on fire

[@ReneeMarchigano]

@@matthewharvey6017 it is 100% true. I have the court documents to prove it. I raised them from 2 & 4 years old. I'd "take that on" anytime for them.

[@RaVenX_exe]

🫶 Thanks for all the laughter bestie!

[@smbarone2000]

Your editors are on fire 🔥 Love the Freud pop up. I wanted to add: I am so happy with that first response. Yes it could be the Reddit thread or it could be he asked around and found out it’s normal and then reevaluated the request. It’s a very healthy response.

[@theresagarcia4892]

Woman who kept ex’s money to pay back his debt to her was absolutely correct in what she did. It was divine intervention after it became clear he wasn’t going to do it on his own 😅

[@Lila-ie1eo]

Yeah, just because he repaid involuntarily, doesn't mean she has to lend him the money again.

[@Cassy3282]

😂 “Sit on it and rotate” I haven’t heard that in years! An oldie but goodie!!

[@Ksudana29]

the first guy is in for a bad 2nd marriage. mom had the right to have the same name as her kids. also you are SO RIGHT about it being a pain in the butt to change names after a divorce. they can't force mom to change her name and she should tell him to kick rocks. love the comment about changing the kids names too

[@Jess-vk6mp]

The kids not liking the dads girlfriend and being upset that their dad didn’t say anything to them about wanting to get engaged to her, really struck a cord with me. After my dad’s divorce with my brothers mom (she cheated and broke his heart), he went on a tirade of horrible girlfriends. One of which we REALLY didn’t like and he knew it. Out of the blue one day he tells us they got married at the courthouse. Keep in mind they fought CONSTANTLY, and we’re breaking up and getting back together over and over too. My brother and I were pissed because he didn’t ask us what we thought about him marrying her. Not even a year later they divorce, and my dad admitted he didn’t run it by us first because he knew we would say he shouldn’t do it, and he was so desperate for love he was willing to put up with pretty much anything. When he eventually met his wife now (like 14yrs ago), he asked us first what we thought before proposing. We thought she was good for him and we agreed he should marry her. And lo and behold that’s been his longest lasting relationship and marriage lol. So imo you should always ask your kids what they think first. They’re not blinded by love and can see the red flags (at least in my brothers and my case that is).

[@Blondie77128]

Happy to hear you were caring and fair and seems you wanted your father to have a partner. Not all kids of divorce are gracious like this and reject either openly or passive-aggressively the new partner even when they are good for the parent and good to the kids. It’s actually common. Jealousy and possessiveness as coping mechanisms. I’ve been witness to it. Especially bad with daughters towards their fathers.

[@Jess-vk6mp]

@@Blondie77128 yeah that is true and a good point. My dad and my biological mom divorced when I was 2yrs old, so I never felt he shouldn’t love someone else because I’d never known different. My brother wasn’t raised in that way but he also didn’t want to hold our dad back and I being the older sibling would help him understand those things if he did have confusion over it. We always wanted him to find love and happiness and as his daughter it pained me to see him hurt by women that were bad for him, and us too. And a lot of his girlfriends had issues with me because I wasn’t afraid to speak my mind and stand up for my dad when they were being unfair to him. My dad used to be a drill sergeant but he’s a big softie and I was only possessive over him in the way that I didn’t want him getting his heart broken again like what happened with his ex wife. Unfortunately for my dad he had a type and most of the time they weren’t good people (think of pretty women, but had horrible personalities, and were mentally ill or abusive). I’m just glad he finally found love and happiness with someone who respects him, won’t hurt him, and have someone he can grow old with. I was in their wedding on my dads side as the “groomsmaid” haha. His wife and I don’t always agree on things and we can sometimes butt head’s because we’re both strong willed stubborn women, but she is a good wife and for the most part we get along.

[@twiceshy9773]

Lol you should have been taking your dad out to party!! Choose your OWN stepmother!!😂😂

[@kahp1072]

I remember when I was in my early 20s, my dad and I had a fight and he throwed at my face the fact he couldn't have a relationship because I was nasty with everyone and honestly? I wouldn't change that. It's not the fact that he wanted be in a relationship but I simply didn't accept any women being pushy on me. I remember this bitch she dated, she also had kids around my age and she was super noisy and tried to push her kids to be my friends. Fuck that. My dad got married after I left home, he seems happy. Me and his wife are cordial with each other, she is not a bitch with my mom even though my parents are extremely close and work together. I get some people don't wanna be alone, but some get completely blind. I have no interest in interacting with kids, let alone having them, why would I date a man with them?

[@lsymonds7280]

At what age if ever does a childrens viewpoint no longer taken in consideration? Myhusband are like 20 yrs apart he has 4 daughters one son and the son we shared(we have had 3 children to to passed at birth or weeks after, the surviving son is now 5) we were dating when our first were born i have a 14 yr old who was 8 when we first me, he also had a 8yr old daughter which he wasnt raising which i met too. So all his children love me even his parents but his son who is 25 now hates me, nobody it seems to have very nice things to say about him, so is my hubby low 4 staying with me n not allowing son dictate his love life? Im 36 hubby is 62?

[@swampopasto]

that second story resonated with me so much. my stepdad owes my mom so much money in child support and is always posting about weekend trips and his gas station scratch off tickets (which he one time stopped to get when he was bringing me back from a concert at 1 am - priorities i guess) and while it infuriates her, she doesn't argue with him. she keeps a ledger of the money he gives her and how much he still owes and doesn't budge on making him pay his share when it comes to my brothers (his kids) needing medical or birthday expenses. she's moved in the shadows for almost 20 years. she is an icon.

[@TideKnotTravellers]

My mum kept her last name when my parents divorced when we were kids, 12 years later my parents got remarried! My mum definitely saved herself a lot of paperwork 😅

[@vampyricluv8456]

I mean, with the name changing part - she literally gave birth to the children, I think that's a pretty good reason as to why they should share whatever name she has as well.

[@Sorchia56]

Agree wholeheartedly! I’m happily married, 27 years now. I changed my last name because we planned on having a family. Now that our kids are in their mid 20’s, I’m changing my name back. My husband even asked if he could have my last name 🤣. His family is vile and he wants nothing to do with them. Our kids are waiting until they get married and changing their name the next day, according to them! The fiancé in that story is incredibly immature and will be a step beast to those children. Guaranteed! Shame the father can’t see past his mid life crisis phase and protect his children. He’ll be divorced in no time. AGAIN!

[@lyricly3100]

That’s what I was gonna say. The kids have that last name not cool…..

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

I agree 100%!! That would be the deciding factor for me. It's really important for many people to have the same last name as their children. Because she's had her last name for 17 years, it wouldn't be surprising that some of their kids are teenagers. That's a long time to share a last name with both mom and dad.

[@Kayenne54]

I kept my married name, because the kids had the same surname. It meant things didn't get so complicated at school meetings with teachers. And because there's a mountain of paperwork. Lol.

[@eponack]

I wish she had just changed her and the kids’ names to her maiden name. Bam all problems solved. Except the mountain of paperwork.

[@borderlinebeka]

If he can spend 20k on an engagement party then he can absolutely pay them back. He's taking advantage of her distance/quietness

[@AmberSoleil1]

Honestly, the people from the first story have a relationship that's strong enough to sustain the hardest parts of a marriage, which should tell anyone that all that's missing is love. If I were his fiancee and we didn't have that kind of trust and respect between us THAT'S what I'd be jealous of.

[@kaneishamoret6862]

That second story was hilarious 😂. I'm glad the lady ended up getting her money back that she paid him and good on her for sending back the extra so the child support wouldn't get messed up.

[@anabltc]

the whole thing was so perfect I'm not sure it's real 😂 she has the messages and all. Try lying to the court, or his new fiance, or kids, about his intentions. The lady has all the receipts ☝🤓

[@bodhiswayze1892]

11:53 “He’s called me every book in the name?” How did that mistake go unnoticed? 😂

[@Kayenne54]

Spoonerisms are always funny!!

[@KirstyAnnEdwards]

😂

[@hellokitty5971]

Crazy darking bogs!

[@shadowykitty5588]

LMFAO I HEARD THAT TOO! I brain glitched and it sent me so hard! 😂😂😂

[@ChloeLucey]

@@shadowykitty5588 me too actually had rewind cause it took so long to process this 😂

[@Eden-Alex]

Charlotte Dobre is my QUEEN 👑 genuinely live my life with her voice in my head saying ABSOLUTELY NOT - makes life situations so much funnier 😂 I would love a “heartwarming” video from you, just a bunch of people doing nice things with your reaction as well! Never stop your channel, it is my life-blood right now 💕💕

[@kasiachm]

The editor putting up Leo when 38yo guy is dating 24yo woman is *chef's kiss*

[@imjuliewaters]

I laughed so much when he popped up. 😂

[@kayleighrobinson5359]

Vanessa knows what she's doing 🎉❤

[@evergreenforestwitch]

Reddits AITA where women ask if they are terrible for feeling normal, human emotions and men ask how many crimes can I commit before someone yells at me and hurts my feelers?

[@phillyphan1225]

Did you miss the last one? Pretty sure you just have a problem with men in general😢

[@seitanbeatsyourmeat666]

This 👆

[@tatiannalee689]

Lol 😂

[@melissajeannek]

Facts!

[@failedattemptdnd]

I spoke to mine after 6 years of no contact, the kids recognized her but didn’t acknowledge her as their mom anymore. Surprisingly, she accepted that and didn’t make a huge deal about it. I was very glad with this outcome because it could’ve gone way worse

[@CraftsandCasts]

"Every book in the name" lol i love it. Itll be added to "how the turns have tabled"

[@kendrajump5376]

some friends of mine just got engageged and they both have kids from previous relationships, The new guy actually asked her kids before he asked her with a ring and actually held onto the ring until HER kids said it was ok, he waited months until the third kid was ready and they had a happy Easter engagement and everything went perfectly, involve the kids, be humble, and consider everyone's feelings and you will succeed!

[@melrobertson2743]

I wish everyone did this, my dad (while we were away at camp) met and got engaged to my stepmom in a week, three months later married and it was absolute hell in that house

[@caljones]

@@melrobertson2743 that’s some real “parent trap” shit right there

[@kendrajump5376]

@melrobertson2743 that is so rude! I'm heartbroken for you, no kid should have 0 input on who they live with

[@TheNitypie]

To the editor that put a little Descartes when Charlotte said ‘you exist’: love you 💕

[@RBXChas]

I'm a divorce attorney, and in my state (in the US), neither party has a say in whether the other party changes their name after a divorce. It's a personal request of the court that the other party does not have standing to object to. The law in my state also allows someone to revert to a former married name. So, for example, if Ms. Smith got married and became Mrs. Jones, divorced Jones, got married again and became Mrs. Moore, upon divorcing Moore, she could revert to either Smith or Jones or she could remain Moore, at her *sole* discretion. I take pleasure in telling a jerk opposing party that he can't force my client to give up her married name, nor can he force her to keep it. It's entirely up to her.

[@gothic_oma]

Good! My husband's ex-wife kept his last name because of the kids too. I had ZERO problems with this! We all co-parented, and now the kids have grown into well-adjusted adults. 😁

[@TwistedQuestionMark]

God bless you for doing the dirty work none of us want to do 🙏

[@megcarter785]

Boo that all sucks. She should automatically get her maiden name. Shes not a jones or moore anymore. Period

[@danadecker4855]

​@megcarter785 I was in this situation and I wanted to keep the same last name as our kids. I have that right. Period.

[@The_Only_Tracy]

@@megcarter785what? Then maybe kids should just take the mother’s last name because men are the ones who walk out on their kids the most. Why do you think it’s ok to force a mom to not have the same name as her child/children just because of a divorce? You must not have children

[@lw3269]

First wife is already a saint for having a 24 year old treat her 37 year old self and the kids so disrespectfully. New wife is lucky that OP is so nice to her. Also the wife who kept the 12K from four years ago was entirely justified. I'm so petty, I would have also kept the back child support and claimed I assumed the money was for what he owed.

[@Slickthecat1]

Or put it ALL in escrow and inform the family court. I’ll bet the back support is more than that anyway. Let him see if a judge considers his venue more than the support of his kids and the expense to the courts.

[@Rin22730]

They said they put the kids first, but putting the kids first would be not getting a divorce

[@khazz33]

I thought it was 12K

[@kallen628]

@@Rin22730as the product of parents that stayed together for me, I disagree.

[@katiep3027]

​@Rin22730 thats absolutely false.

[@arkameatys]

Your editor deserves a raise, you 2 make a great team.

[@XCaptianXChaosX]

18:31 He did the best thing here. Taking in the dog helps the ex, the kids, OP, and probably the dog

[@melissacooper8724]

Is he keeping the dog for good?

[@XCaptianXChaosX]

@melissacooper8724 I don't know, but it doesn't seem like it. At least the dog gets a break from van life for a bit.

[@christinedebessehoch]

I don’t know if I agree. How is he going to explain the dogs to the kids? If they’re really young that could work in his favor but if they’re 7 or so + they’ll definitely catch on to the fact that something fishy is going down. Seems like they already have an abandonment complex to a degree and I think taking the dogs in under false pretenses is opening a can of worms that these kiddos don’t need. To be clear, I think the man is a wonderful father and is doing his best but this just seems like unnecessary stress. Something seems weird…like he’s throwing a (frankly, deserved) middle finger at the mother. Seems a little on the nose…. I think if he was that concerned about his children’s feelings he wouldn’t take dogs in for an extended period of time, let the kids bond with them and then inexplicably remove them from the home.

[@dhf161]

@@christinedebessehochI think he was just taking them in until her van was fixed. He could easily tell the kids they are babysitting the dogs for a bit. Maybe this could be a test for them to get a dog in the future. Or mom would decide to abandon the dogs too…

[@veronica58]

Another way to look at it: Why change your name when you get married? My husband and I have been married for 23 years. It never occurred to me to change my name, and our son has my husband's last name, and my last name as a middle name. I've seen a lot of couples do that. I have never regretted keeping my own name; it worked to my benefit when I was contacted by a long-lost relative (long story). We reconnected and it was very special.

[@TreeGirlDesigns]

As a widow single mother of a son. We have never shared the same last name but no one ever questioned if he was my son. I don’t agree with the X keeping the last name. It doesn’t change the bond you have with your kids it just seems like you’re holding onto old baggage. You’re not together anymore. Change it honey bc the next man is gonna assume you haven’t moved on

[@suewilson7974]

@@TreeGirlDesigns You are in the mintority here. The majority of mature adults in this situation would understand the situation: not assume they haven't moved on. It wasn't just sharing a name with her kids. She built her career and other everyday things around that name(her name) for the 12 years they were married. There wasn't any problem until an immature woman got insecure and weirdly jealous about it. After her ex sat down and really thought about all her reasons for keeping it, he fully understood and was fine again with their original agreement. When you communicate correctly to someone, they'll understand and if they don't, then that person isn't worth your time. Also, when getting married if you decide to change your name, that is now your name, it's not just some kind of placeholder.

[@kahp1072]

In my country, that's not a thing AT ALL. You can do it, but most people don't even bother with it. I'll never understand this fascination some cultures have with getting the husband name.

[@helenelliot1553]

I had a professional identity before I married so I was absolutely not going to change my name. To all those women who want to have the same name as their children, I can tell you, it ain't the issue you think it is. My kids' friends ALWAYS called me Mrs "Husband's-and Children's name". It was adorable.

[@intercat4907]

Great post. Another angle: As an archaeology/anthropology student, I cheer loudly. It's so much harder to trace families when half the people from a family vanish in a pile of paperwork. Congrats on getting it right in your marriage.

[@Nao-lp6zx]

7:07 my mum kept my dad’s last name after the divorce. For context, my dad has an Asian last name and my mum is white so whenever teachers or classmates met her, they usually assumed that she would be an Asian lady but after they saw her, they’d all give her the look as if they were in mean girls when Karen says “why are you white?” 😂

[@HillCountryBluebonnet88]

10:37 I would’ve sent him a text as soon as I saw the deposits saying “Thank You so much for paying me back the money I loaned you, such a responsible and thoughtful man”

[@Vtuber_Xantherous]

I SO grateful that in countries like Italy, you DON'T change your name. The drama on this one!

[@mizmiza.]

Frfr . The whole idea of changing your name to your husband’s last name is quite alien to me and ridiculous at the same time .

[@gilded_lady]

​@Burger_pantsit's an antiquated tradition, tbh. If I ever married, I'd keep my name.

[@dinasilva9263]

I'm from Portugal, you can change your name here if you want it but almost anyone does it.

[@SunflowerMonroe7612]

It's not mandatory to change it in the US. It's just traditional. Either person can change it to the other's, both people can keep their own, or you can even come up with a whole new one. Same with naming a child on a birth certificate. Last name could come from either parent, of the parents can give them something completely new.

[@Solènelamigonnelicorne]

​@@dinasilva9263 maman je suis très ravie de te voir aujourd'hui tu m'as trop manquée 😊😊❤

[@MaraHudson-v9d]

Judge Charlotte is the be all and end all of judges! Love you and your content so much! Honestly you're the only reason I watch KZbin.

[@itsbabyhedgehog478]

I was/am in a similar situation as the first story. My mom moved my now stepdad in without telling me or consulting me. I had met this person 3 times and one was under a weird situation. I hadn't had a meal with this person and boom, now I'm living with them. Then we had a fight about all of this and I moved back into my dads house permanently. My mom said "It's adult things" and no she wasn't pregnant. While we weren't talking they got engaged, she didn't tell me, told my OBGYN while in MY appointment that she was but I had no idea. The only reason I was at this appointment is being she thought I was hormonal and that's why I hated her. I was forced onto birth control and at the time I was like 11 or 12. Her and I will never have the same relationship. On the other hand, my dad and I picked out a ring for my stepmom and I helped with the engagement. He also asked if she could move in and my stepmom wouldn't have moved in if I was comfortable with it.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

I'm glad you've got your dad and now stepmom. It's hard when you're a kid of divorce. It's great if you've got at least one family member who truly cares about you and your needs. I hope everything works out for your best.

[@melissasheppard6674]

I’m glad you have a good relationship with your dad and stepmom 😊

[@laughingcorrpseholly4136]

After my mom and dad got divorced when I was 8 my dad did date but one thing he never did? He never brought these women around me and he never re-married. He didn’t get into an actually serious relationship where he even briefly thought about marrying her until I was 21 he always told me he didn’t want to put me through that or worry about them trying to come between me and my mom or me and him. He would date girls that would always express wanting to meet me and as soon as they did he would be like “yeah no” 😅this one girl actually went behind his back and bought Disney tickets for me and her and planned out this whole day with me and was trying to like needle her way into my life and my dad absolutely flipped out at that. 😂😂 my mom was the exact opposite… she would date these losers that would always try and force me to like them. And they would physically abuse her and be creeps towards me and she wouldn’t do anything about it. This one guy she was with for 8 years when I was a teen and anytime I would bring my friends over he would be creepy and try and make passes at them to the point where my friends wouldn’t want to come over anymore 😢 and I would wind up just either staying with friends or my bf at the time or my dad it was crazy

[@joannlee7239]

Imagine wanting to spend that much money on an engagement while owing so much for back child support? What kind of message does that send about how you care about your children?! HE is the A-hole! The next situation is so sad. 2 years she hasn't seen her children! Who are these people?! The AUDACITY! 😮

[@smbarone2000]

The woman he wants to become engaged to - if she is smart - will run far away. No one likes a deadbeat parent.

[@MikeDavis-v6o]

I call it "subscribing" when I listen to you! You are a trip, and your editor needs to be publicly recognized for her great work!

[@Literallyarealhuman]

A lot of women keep the last name because it’s easier to travel with your children to sign them up for things, etc. It almost sounds, as if it’s easier for the woman to have not gotten with a guy who has children with somebody else.

[@andreabradley5837]

I'd be surprised if the wedding actually happened.

[@1etira01]

Heya! Fun fact: in a few eastern European languages "dobre" can mean "good", as in if someone asks you "how are you doing?" You would say "good" or "dobre". It can also be a confirmation of something, very similar to "okay" or "sure". For example if someone asks you to put away the dishes, you'd say "dobre" as an "okay". Languages are fun and I hope you don't mind me ranting about it here 😄 Edit: it can also be used as "good" to describe something, but it would need to be something that isn't a person (unless it's a child). If you were to use it to describe a person, you'd most likely use "dobry" or "dobra" based on their gender

[@katarzynasienkiel713]

So I am guessing the original name was Dobry. And they've changed it because it was easier to pronounce for English speakers. I teach Polish and for many foreigners our 'y' and 'e' sound the same.

[@1etira01]

@@katarzynasienkiel713 that makes sense. I was speaking from a Slovak perspective. Polish would be very similar. Same with Czech. The other Slavic languages are a little more different, so I wouldn't be able to speak on those

[@katarzynasienkiel713]

@@1etira01 Yes, in Polish is the same way as you described, only 'dobre' as an adverb would be 'dobrze' :)

[@Volatile_Angel]

Other thing with the name is she said they married when she was young, which means her whole adult/professional life she has had that name. That also makes it complicated. The issue is much deeper than the name though.

[@roselover411]

Something else about changing your last name after a divorce is that it costs money. My aunt told me she didn't go back to her maiden name after divorcing because it legit cost a fair amount of money to do it, as opposed to when you get remarried, the fee is way cheaper and is basically rolled into the cost of the marriage license.

[@jamijenkins3507]

That, plus I had to wait in line for 3 hours for something that took 5 minutes. Never again.

[@NilZed1]

That must vary by state. I was told if I included my babe change in the divorce papers it was included in the decree. No extra charge. Admittedly, if we had not been poor and had more than a banking account and and a job and social security admin to inform, there may have been additional costs. But the legal cost was not extra to the divorce cost.

[@hbailie9115]

In Ontario, 20 years ago at least, it cost nothing to change your maiden name to your narried one, but you did have to pay & jump through hoops for any other reason. Patriarchy AIR?

[@terramarini6880]

@@NilZed1 Her adult life and professional reputation was built on that name, the financial fall out is hard to predict in cases like that. To her it could be like starting at the bottom again with contacts and professional relationships, she could lose out on promotions if the VP doesn't recognize her old name, recommendations when she is harder to track due to name change. And good luck travelling with children because she would have to get long form birth certificates and written permission from their dad if names don't match. Extra hassle if for example they are taken to an ER after an accident proving she's the mom. Extra hassle every time authorities and paperwork is involved. I had extra hassle even with the same name, cause their dad died and I had to get extra documents (costly) to prove I was their sole authority and had to carry them always. Ex was out of pocket.

[@seppyq3672]

Mine was listed in my divorce decree in Utah.

[@msdeviantdizzy]

Dying at the mini Leo that popped up with the "I Approve" sign at the beginning of the vid.

[@AimeeAimee444]

What’s the dealio with Leo? Did his parents divorce?

[@peggyv8819]

I'd have laughed my butt off during the phone call. He isn't/can't do anything about it bc he's a big ole kitty cat since he didn't even think about telling his children he was getting engaged.

[@LiMoo02]

That first story was a perfect example of when I condone the phrase "I hit it first".😂 Sorry, it's my name too!😂

[@LazyIRanch]

Especially when her ex's marriage to the new bimbo has a snowball's chance in hell of lasting more than a year. My ex got remarried before the ink was dry on our divorce papers. She left him and moved to another state within a year. She's probably a very nice person, so I'm glad she got out sooner than later!

[@justlooking1299]

No

[@suzannethevenot2208]

I was married for 17 yrs. My ex wanted me to change back to my maiden name. His new gf wanted our marriage annulled. We had two girls. I said absolutely NOT. I still have "his" last name 25 yrs later!! LOL!!! And I will be drawing his social security in a couple years!!

[@jacklow9611]

Even with just one child, annulment was legally impossible, unless either one is already married to someone else at the time of marriage.

[@seeya205]

Why do you feel entitled to his social security when you haven't been with him in 25 years?

[@gigik6334]

@@seeya205 Because if you are married for 10 yrs you are entitled to draw from their record if they made more money than you did in a work lifetime. Doesn't take anything away from him, he still gets the same amount.

[@denisedevoto5703]

​@@seeya205because she is legally entitled to it if she has been married to him for 10 years or more. He still gets his SS benefits too.

[@johncmitchell4941]

@@seeya205 She can draw on his SS when it's her time just like he does, as long as she doesn't remarry.

[@ozmathegreatand]

12:45 if there is proof of money being owed and evidence where he says he would pay it back, NTA.

[@leonardsusskindswar7258]

Charlottle has just been casually bringing up the subject of she and Mike getting engaged, married, etc a lot lately. I'm starting to think it's already happened, or it's imminent. Either way, I'm so enormously happy that you're happy, and sending you warm internet hugs, no matter what's going on. But your name is badass, so definitely keep that one.

[@JP-rx2zu]

I was thinking the same thing.

[@AimeeAimee444]

I hope your instincts are true. ❤️💯

[@ellenkarlsson9490]

She's brainwashing Mike. She is slowly putting the idea in his head.

[@checkoutchick9023]

I hope that this is the case although I think Charlotte would be so happy that she'd be glowing and showing us all her engagement ring. Charlotte would be a stunning bride so fingers crossed for her and Mike. X

[@natipena2677]

Story #2. I speak from experience.....Never lend money to family or friends. You might never see it again and when you ask for it back, they get defensive

[@seeya205]

Yep! Never lend money unless you are willing to lose it! Chances are, you will!

[@JP-rx2zu]

Exactly. If I’m not willing to basically give money away, then I don’t have it to give to them. If I do “lend” the money, I make sure it’s something in my budget, and I don’t expect to be paid back.

[@leoniek6351]

She could have easily kept more than the 12k he owed her. Because of inflation, 12k now is worth less than 12k back when he loaned it from her.

[@silentfriend369]

I lend and receive money often. Always gotten it back and given it back. I must be lucky...

[@CallMeCurtis97]

3:38 Honestly, the pettiest thing she could do is get permission to hyphenate the kids last name and change it to her maiden name only😂😂 Also is he paying for all this, it's expensive with the court fee, cost to advertise in the local paper, ID, drivers & passport renewal fee. Not to mention changing baking, work, billing, school, email & car license details, it's a lot to do😮

[@Lg4242]

My kids mother gave up primary custody of the kids to me (stepmother) and their father so she could try to make it as a stand up comedian in NYC. Trust me, that was the funniest thing she ever said 🤣🤣🤣

[@donnaonanadventure6113]

My ex married a woman with the same first name as mine. Fortunately she doesn't have bad credit or a criminal past because she appears on my credit report a few times and we both have had a hair appt in the same salon on the same day resulting in a bit of confusion. I am happy to report that he is now her problem.

[@Rickettsia505]

Might be time to add your middle initial.

[@nancyrussell4708]

That first one, the 24yo has no clue how difficult it would be to change all that especially well after the divorce. Plus the kids don't like the fiance.

[@EclecticJenn]

My dad got married without telling his 3 kids. We were so upset but she has become the best mama and it is because of her I even have a relationship with him, and my mom still has my dads last name and they have been divorced for 40 years.

[@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes]

My aunt has been married 4 or 5 times? Hard to keep track, but after divorce she goes back to ex number 3's last name 😂

[@DanielSelk]

Could you imagine if the dinosaur toys Charlotte has were judges TOO??? XD "You may be EATED!!!"

[@kitlee172]

“Off with their heads!” *monch*

[@ladyliberty5771]

😂😂😂

[@karabryan497]

Yes plz

[@SuuggestionKalaxy]

Rawrrawrrawrrawr!

[@damueyell5656]

I still have my ex husbands last name, just like his ex wife did before me. When you own a house, a car, have credit cards, and a diploma under that name it's a pain in the arse to change and not to mention expensive. It's not my fault he forgot to have his attorney check the box saying I can "change my name for free" on the divorce papers, plus it makes me smile a little knowing that it probably bugs his family and new wife that I'm still using it. LOL

[@ChefSarah4104]

You know it's going to be a good day when you start with Judge Charlotte.

[@shannap.lawnerd125]

💯👩🏻‍⚖️⚖️ 🤌🏽💋

[@christinadimmick2563]

😂 thank you for using the Mystery Machine as the visual reference to her buying a Van! Choice editing! 👏 16:41

[@thepinkflamingostrikesagai7319]

I would tel him. I will change my last name back in exactly 13 years. One year for every year of the marriage plus an extra year for the inconvenience of changing my last name.😂

[@McShifty033]

02:36 Can we have a shoutout for the editor for always finding these wonderful pieces to edit?

[@AimeeAimee444]

Charlotte has incredibly talented editors! 💯

[@moniqueforrester9619]

My husbands ex wife still has our last name and it doesn’t bother me at all! They had two boys together and he was constantly saying, “we can text each other at once so you know I’m not saying anything to her that you wouldn’t like” no no no I don’t care you guys have kids together!! Also we hang out ALL the time with our kids while my husband is at work. It’s so important to co parent really well for your kids get over yourselves when it comes to co parenting!! It’s for the kids not YOU!

[@paulagoeringer9466]

This. I wish more people would be grown ups and put the kids first before any feelings they might have. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to be civilized. Family court is hell when one side decides that they will lie and destroy everyone to be the "winner" or get even. It's gross. So childish and that's insulting to children having actual tantrums.

[@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you]

Clearly you're not a midlife crisis wife like the first op's new, uh, "competition"; sounds like he married a good partner! So glad that its working out so nicely for your family. The kiddos are going to know their parents love them more then being petty. ❤

[@littlefox3128]

My bf co parents with his ex really well, they have a cordial relationship which im glad of because it’s great for their kid (who is only 2). I don’t care if she kept his last name, what difference does it make to me? None. The only thing I find strange is a lot of people in the comments saying that they all hang out with their exs. Like none of us argue but I’ve never met his ex and I don’t think she wants to meet me. All I can do is try my best though.

[@turbochoupette]

If I had a boyfriend spending 20k on an engagment ring for me without paying child support I would be so pissed.

[@jessica9404]

I am a kid of divorce and once my mom remarried and took my stepdads last name everywhere we went people would question if she was my mom if our last names were requested. I cannot even fully describe how much this upset me as a kid. When my ex and I divorced I hyphenated my maiden name with my married name on purpose so my kids didn’t have to experience this. Ex got a little butt hurt that I just didn’t keep his last name 😂 We coparent GREAT and I’m happy with my decision ❤

[@scribblefoxstories]

Same! It was especially fun when we went on holiday and airport personnel questioned the name difference between me, my mum, my stepdad and his family! 🤦🏽‍♀️ I ended up getting my name hyphenated and then they ended up divorcing like four years later! 🤬 I always put down my un-hyphenated name wherever possible (college, uni, clubs, online etc) but my bank, passport, driver’s license and medical records all still have the hyphenated name because changing it back is such a pain in the arse! 😋

[@Trammiliin_nr2]

The only really strange divorce-related last name story I know is the one where husband got wife’s last name, they got divorced and the new wife got ex-wife’s name. I think this is a bit weird. But keeping your name you’ve had for most of your adult life and is the name of your kids is perfectly okay.

[@carolynw8614]

Wow that’s weird

[@blizz2795]

I knew two couples where the husband took the wife's name. The weirdest one was a friend who had a baby as a teenager but never married the dad, the son took the dad's name though. When my friend got married she and her new husband took the last names of the son and the wife. So the new husband was Joe Johnson (son/baby daddy name)-Smith (wife's name)...not the real name but an example. His name was completely gone. So bizarre.

[@XenusMama]

My daughters weird ex is using my maiden name ….. no one knows why . He’s….. different .

[@GrapefruitCat2]

Also like they could change their last name when getting married like??? That would be easier than threatening the ex that wants to have the same last name as her kids?!

[@rosielele]

That’s absolutely hilarious

[@BeckaBear08]

It took me way too long to realize Dobre is good in Polish…a language I’m learning as we speak 😂

[@Threecrazydogs63]

First story. I mentioned it to my lawyer husband. He thought it was absurd. No way I’d change my name for this reason. It’s my name and the same as my kids. It’s on all my documents and how I view myself. I am no longer the same person I was when I had my maiden name. Do t want it back. This fiancé is an immature child causing unnecessary drama. She just wants to be the only woman with his last name. Sorry but there was someone else before her. F off. Second story: I am with the woman. He owes you that money. Give him back what is his. If you have the proof he owes you that money then his debt is cleared. Tough on him. He has money for everyone else but not to pay her back. I would have kept the child support portion too and told the courts, if he went there, that I thought he was meeting his obligations. It isn’t her responsibility to be owed money while he spends $17000 on an engagement ring. My mother waited 17 years for hers. His girlfriend can too. Third story: hell no, that would be horrible for the kids and she no longer has the right to expect you to do this for her. She is trying to use you. What a despicable person.

[@dinasilva9263]

Charlotte is amazing, beautiful, funny, talented and adorable but she also has a great team working with her that deserves recognition too. The editing is just gettin' better and better and makes Charlotte Channel even more fabulous. I appreciate all of you. Thank you for all the laughs❤

[@Solènelamigonnelicorne]

Salut maman j'espère que tu vas bien je t'aimes ❤😊

[@dinasilva9263]

@@Solènelamigonnelicorne salut solene, je vais bien, merci.

[@wendiprice1110]

6:19 - you have had your last name for awhile. When my parents divorced, my mom kept her last name. She said she earned it. You earned it. Fiancee wants to have control because she knows she doesnt 😂😉

[@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes]

Good Morning Petty Potatoes! ❤ My Mom still has my former step-dad's last name because it pisses him off 😂🤣 Also, we kept the dog.

[@queenbee137]

Good morning Nichole!❤

[@WeOnlySayHello]

We say "Hello Petty Potatoes". Repeat after me; Hello Petty Potatoes. Learn the difference

[@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes]

​@@queenbee137 Good Morning Petty 👑 🐝 and her Petty King!

[@steph.v.o.7078]

Good morning 😊❤

[@caljones]

GOOD MORNING TO EVERYONE WHO ISN’T JUDGMENTAL!

[@NeurodivergentArtistic]

Made in in two minutes, that’s a personal best. Have been clicking immediately upon seeing for years now! Here for the channel since day one.

[@debivc78]

It's the worst thing EVER to get a call from the school asking for Mrs. Jones and have to say "uh well I used to be, now it's Smith" OR picking up kids and showing ID with a different last name than kids. Nope, keeping the ex's last name till the kids are out of school and maybe longer, he CAN'T MAKE her change it.

[@sarkycupcake3611]

If he can be out there saving up for rings and wedding venues he can damn sure pay you his debt and keep up with CS

[@HomeAtOahu]

When my ex and I sat the kids down to tell them we were getting a divorce, we gave them as much time as they needed to absorb the info and the ability to ask unlimited questions. One day the two oldest came to me in tears. One of their friends experienced their parents' divorce and the mom had a new last name. My children thought this meant the mom didn't love her kids anymore. They felt better once I promised them I would not change my name. I've been divorced since 2004 and still have their last name and they're adults now.

[@bsjourneee3636]

I love how she brought up the cover brother last name thing 😂caz u searched that up too when I just start watching u

[@madchenblindes]

Story #1 is exactly why I kept my maiden name. I told my husband he could change his last name to mine, but getting married did not change my identity.

[@intercat4907]

Welcome to most of the societies on the planet. Best wishes for a long and happy marriage.

[@zoleria]

I just love the little pictures coming up to illustrate, always so funny

[@jadahorseland]

The pettiness in all of these stories is inspiring 😂😂😂

[@rochellethundercloud346]

My mom went back to her maiden name after she divorced my birth father. It caused issues, because her maiden name was Sullivan and my last name is thundercloud.she literally had to carry my birth certificate and her divorce papers at all times

[@abbykelley6844]

My mom kept her last name the same as my dad when they divorced. She even kept it the same after she married my stepdad. Her reasoning was she didn't want to have a different last name than us kids. She did not change her last name to my stepdad's until after about a year when she talked to us and knew we were okay and it wouldn't change anything.

[@Zullala]

I kept my narried last name after ny divorce. It's just suvh a pain ri chahge it! Its a very common last name too so I don't eveb associate the name with ny ex. Plus it sounds good with ny first name. My current partner asked if I would change my name if we married. I told him yes, but he has to do all the paperwork and phone calls with me haha. It's just such a hassle! My mother changed her name after her divorce and it took a year to get everything in order... It's been 3 years now and she still gets paperwork sent to her in the wrong name!

[@Deedoof]

Story 1: The only reason OP's ex pulled his head out his ass so fast, is because someone _he_ respected told him to. His mom is probably "the research", lol!

[@lillysaub3788]

When my parents divorced, my Mom asked my sisters and I if we wanted her to keep our Dad’s last name. We said yes, and at the time I wasn’t fully aware of how hard that must have been for her, but whenever we’ve asked now, she says she ultimately kept it because she wanted us to have the same last name. Honestly, I’m really glad my mom cared enough to ask what we wanted. Now I don’t think I would care if she changed it… but I am glad I have the same last name as my mom.

[@checkoutchick9023]

When I was going to remarry I asked my 17 year old Son if he wanted me to keep my ex husband's name so that I would still have the same name as him but would hyphenate my new Husband's name with it, he said no it was fine and to just take my new Husband's name. A few months after the wedding my Son asked me if he could change his last name to mine lol, I said it was up to him but he must take his Father's feelings in to consideration, ultimately he didn't change his name but he does call my Husband "Dad" (which my Husband loves). It's so important when remarrying to take your children's feelings in to consideration.

[@Kez_h]

"every book in the name" lol

[@TrulyTrudy_5248]

I love your reactions 😂 and i love how my mom knows u already, whenever she hears ur voice coz i watch u whenever I do chores 😂😂😂 she says, "is that Charlotte?"

[@KarinaDoRego]

As someone who just legally changed her first name.. I believe changing your last name without a new marriage would cost about the same. And I know it is more in some states. It is a lengthy process, sometimes taking up to 6 months and there is a LOT of things to change after. You have it in your divorce agreement that you can keep the name so he has no leg to stand on.

[@digifreak90]

4:50 Interesting that he's using his children as a defense when, 1, it's not a valid defense because they're her kids too, and 2, he didn't seem to consider them at all when deciding to marry his fiancé.

[@KM-ek9or]

The difficulty in changing your last name isn't just about all the places you'd need to change it with after, either. Just to get it changed you have to go to court, multiple times, post about it in different newspapers, get the permission of a judge, tons of paperwork. It's awful

[@ShinoriDelfrim]

Yeah not as simple as people would probably think.

[@journeehyde9128]

At least in the US changing your name.Once you get married or divorced is very simple in terms of doing it at the social security office. You just fill out a form and bring the supporting documents. It's changing it all the other places that becomes a hassle. And then God forbid the social security office.Loses your new card like they did to me right before a pandamic. I've been married for 5 years and my name has only been legally my husbands since two years ago. That's how long it took for the social security office to correct their mistake

[@vcutler4735]

Depends on state on half of that, some don't require the newspapers, some let you use your marriage or divorce decree in place of going to court and getting an order. Still absolutely sucks to update things. I ended up having to pay off my student loans to not have debt with my old name lmao.

[@ThestuffthatSaralikes]

I still have my exes name. It’s also my son’s last name. I hate it though. We BOTH want a new last name, but yeah… the bullshit the state and federal governments put you through is a HUGE deterrent… Not to even mention the “day to day” crap you have to do to… ❤

[@nikdo0816]

Not to mention "losing" her career progress, if she is known very well under that name. If that new girl is that worried about having the same last name as her partner's ex, she doesn't have to change, or she can hyphenated or, my personal fave, the guy can take on her name.

[@TanyaRando]

I'd deliberately keep the last name, even if I'd previously been thinking of changing it 😂😂

[@barbarajeanne8351]

I had it in my divorce papers that I could change my name back. Its been 15 years since the divorce and I haven't changed it yet because there are just too many hoops to jump through

[@SarahHunt]

The last guy should NOT be lying to his kids and saying that their mom loves them. He’s teaching them that love can look like walking out on your family. He doesn’t have to run her into the ground, but he can definitely tell them that mom is making some very sad choices and we miss her. But don’t teach them that walking out on your family is what love looks like. Because it’s not. ESPECIALLY if she has only seen them twice in TWO YEARS.

[@anabltc]

Such a hard topic. I see your point quite well and I'd say his choice was between two lousy options. Maybe the kids are too small, maybe he was hoping that vanlife was a fleeting thing, Or he was just trying to soften the blow of the inevitable mother wound. At some point the kids will realize it tho. Maybe they already do. I mean, they are not isolated, there's family and school and they see other parents. (I wonder if the kids talk to their maternal grandparents, and what are they telling the kids, seeing that they obviously don't approve of the vanlife thing.) In any case, I hope the kids will understand that the dad was trying to do the least bad thing for them

[@SarahHunt]

@@anabltc I agree with you wholeheartedly. He has no good options, and it sounds like he’s doing the very best he can. My heart goes out to him and his family.

[@MsBadJedi]

How can a mom walk out on her own children, I will never understand

[@Cinnamon_Cleric]

Yeah my little brother's dad came back into our life when he was 11 and stayed with us for a few months because, according to my mom, "they deserved to get to know each other." Dude did exactly what I told her was gonna happen and dipped back to his actual wife and kids after less than 3 months and my brother's behavioral issues spiraled wildly out of control. Letting an estranged parent back into your kid's home, what's supposed to be their safe place, only makes things so much worse.

[@anabltc]

​@@Cinnamon_Cleric heartbreaking fr 🙁