Peyton Manning's a psychic

My new comedy special #OpenBook will be coming out here shortly.. This story has made it's rounds, but doesn't make it any less hilarious... ridiculous... or impressive.. I hope you laugh a little bit at this. Cheers
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[@kylewright8512]

According to the police report, McAfee was asked whether he was swimming in the canal and answered, "I am not sure." When he was asked why he was wet, McAfee responded, "It was raining." When he was asked where his shirt was, McAfee said, "In the water." And when he was asked how much he had to drink, McAfee said, "A lot 'cause I'm drunk." What a legend.

[@JaxKillsAhri]

If you watched the "Pat McAfee: Uncaged" i think the telling of that story is hilarious. "I SAID A lot because Im STILL drunk."

[@garyv2498]

who hasn't gone for a swim when drunk?

[@holddatproductions4002]

This is all alleged of course

[@goodshipkaraboudjan]

As an Aussie it's so bizarre the police would even arrest or chat to him. Here they'll just say - get out of the water you drunk dickhead. So you do then go back to the pub.

[@omalley2147]

Whaaaaaaat

[@nicksacco5041]

Because of this, Pat Mcafee is the only known punter in the league

[@ponyplayer100]

1000 vids no subs challenge marquett king

[@dubay1k934]

matt prater

[@Ryguy_]

@@dubay1k934 Matt prater is a kicker, not punter

[@annabrodjian2096]

johnny hekker

[@bobafatty111]

@@dubay1k934 you didnt just call the greatest QB in Lions history a punter

[@rubeuspotter719]

"That guy's white, he can golf"

[@josephball4908]

Gummy Bear literally read your comment as he said it 😂😂

[@howardbaxter2514]

Every black person playing golf for the first time and is looking for an instructor say those exact words.

[@rjdavis6999]

GREATEST. QUOTE. EVER.

[@kvltizt]

I know loads of white guys who can't golf. 😂

[@mpnewell10]

@@josephball4908 I can appreciate the nuttiness of that event for sure, not enough likes on this one

[@gingycakes7608]

Could you imagine him and romo together? Ones predicts everything and the other brings the entertainment. It would be beautiful

[@KG-zp6so]

I agree

[@aceprolific9381]

Fuck romo

[@jacobreed9594]

Toxic_ Vapor_ ahhh a cowboys fan?

[@aceprolific9381]

Jacob Reed no it’s just that romo sucks ass

[@gingycakes7608]

Toxic_ Vapor_ well that’s just wrong

[@thatoneguy3849]

I want McAfee as a commentator. Not just NFL, everything

[@bobafatty111]

It just happened!

[@700Ezalb]

@@bobafatty111 He might be psychic too!

[@mrcooterman]

your wish has come true my friend, thursday college football

[@M1XEDBAG]

That One Guy he filled in for a WWE commentator once and it was awesome. He brought so much energy and enthusiasm to the product. I immediately missed him when he was gone

[@murderinc.hunting7686]

"Jesus himself... Walked inta tha casina!"

[@GroundCub]

Too bad he didn’t have Peyton around to warn him about Polamalu in the C gap...

[@50Moochy]

EAFGroundCub934 😂😂

[@huntergilson880]

You mean pomamomalu?

[@garbagecanlids]

GroundCub934 yeah man when Polamalu in the C gab that’s when you take a knee

[@ethangregorio9823]

The angel of death you mean

[@theS4V0Y]

Pa Llama Loo

[@zensokuracer]

Pat is a national treasure.

[@blurbn]

Ah gee, thanks Dude!

[@happygolucky550]

7:45 just looks like alternate versions of the same guy all throughout the crowd 😂

[@Loganbub]

John Reese underrated comment 😂😂

[@kanyewestlover9118]

*S H I T*

[@jumatron2060]

Lol

[@lewallen86]

Holy fuck lol

[@katker]

Wttttffff underrated af comment

[@jeffm7007]

So, we all agree that Peyton Manning at a young age discovered he could see several seconds into the future, realized "I could fight crime or I could become a football player and spend my life shredding defenses." and he slammed on the second button without even waiting.

[@jba0504]

Yes, this guy is funny!!!!

[@_Nico_2000_]

He needs to host the ESPYS.

[@blurbn]

Pats too classy to do that!

[@minnesocalgolf7182]

My man drinking wine out the bottle love it lol

[@travvypoo]

Laughed my ass off the whole video. Good comedy. Heard Pat on Bob and Tom radio show and never knew an NFL player, especially a lowly punter, could be such a funny guy.

[@willmckee1632]

I think Pat is probably the most popular punter. Sadly, he's on the Colts so I can't like him as a punter, but he's damn funny.

[@Minecrafttian00]

He retired on Feb 2, 2017.

[@donaldwilson3579]

R.I.P

[@WalkerA92]

He said he’s never been on tv for football. Well he did a hell of a job with Fox this past sunday!!

[@kanyewestlover9118]

Took me a second to understand the last punchline. Then I remember that he was found intoxicated in a canal

[@realloud999]

You saved me a Google search, thank you! Lol

[@AntKart]

@@realloud999 **allegedly

[@realloud999]

@@AntKart allegedly indeed

[@Yune2ofdoom]

I fucking loved this lol Dunno why people are hating this was some good material

[@JoshuaDay0550]

because people are bitter and think its cool to hate shit, but they are really just miserable pieces of shit

[@313jb8]

Yune2ofdoom ....4,000 likes and 72 dislikes are pretty good or u talking about the comments. If u are well then fuck them.. Not our fault that they hate there life's

[@daleftuprightatsoldierfield]

They didn’t want him to retire from the NFL

[@PSonak]

No one's hating, what are you talking about?

[@CSelH]

I live/grew up 15 from French Lick Indiana, that accent is literally spot on.

[@DeepTexas]

I was skeptical. pat has always had good stage presence, but stand-up is another animal. he nailed it.

[@heirfang2100]

Plottwist: Peyton owns the casino

[@soonerintexas.3845]

Lol... it always hits on red 18....

[@kristaselene]

Bring this show to the 'Burgh

[@ButlerBulldogBill]

Edinburgh or Newburgh?

[@kristaselene]

ButlerBulldogBill lol...Pittsburgh

[@ButlerBulldogBill]

That's not in Indiana! haha

[@tgran1258]

ButlerBulldogBill pat is actually from Pittsburgh so I think he'd be more than happy to make a stop

[@ramzishoumali4368]

ButlerBulldogBill Edinburgh lol, what a terrible town

[@madsandmadsand5139]

Best tackler punter in Nfl History!

[@tstan9713]

I played roulette with an Asian guy, Alan Iverson and his entourage at Cherokee casino at 3am. He ignored everyone but we both hit 16 and he gave me a little nod

[@CSDonohue11]

Travis Stanaway I met Allen Iverson @ Mandalay Bay in Vegas. He was only with his uncle or some ish and a few hookers. Real talk. He was cool. He didn’t have an entourage anymore though. F’n users.

[@chadwilson2333]

I live 45 minutes from Harrah's in Cherokee I go about three times a year 😀😀

[@dominicbonora6099]

AI has been gambling since his rookie year

[@jonforpresident04]

Nice of the Asian guy to nod at you, but what did AI do?

[@ollieboose1115]

Wait.... He's drinking from a whole bottle of wine on stage 😂😂😂

[@BrandonReck]

Can I get Pat McAfee to narrate my life?

[@Steven-mk4gg]

This is the greatest story ever told. It never gets old.

[@TentomushiHH]

Pat McAfee is awesome. I will for sure miss him on the field. Entertainment runs through his veins and I will for sure follow his career of the Field.

[@trentsimmons343]

This guys gunna be remembered for being fucking hilarious and dropping that one guy returning the punt. Solid legacy.

[@overthetoppranks]

I love seeing Pat go off and do his own thing, I knew he was a funny guy but he’s really got a personality and humor he can make a career out of! More than just a football player

[@dan7586]

YES Please put Pat Mac in the booth!!!!!!

[@MrColeemon]

he gave up over 5 million dollars to do comedy and retire from the NFL, hope it works out for him.

[@brownsfan6447]

Cold Winter I thought he was still in the league. Wow.

[@NoctemAeternusMusic]

I mean, it’s not like he needs it

[@SteelersLakersFan]

After major surgeries and the knee pain he talks about, not a shock he left

[@noahsmith1978]

Cold Winter he retired more so to do with health reasons. he was going on his 3rd or 4th leg surgery i believe and my guess is he still wanted to walk after 65.

[@DustierLawery2]

But hey, the man has been a comedian before punting, he loves what he’s doing

[@TripleAstyle1]

The most legendary Punter in history. Still a Punter but legendary.

[@janmason6056]

TripleAstyle1 A Ray Guy was the best in his time. Look him up

[@sackboylover]

Jan Mason he said legendary not best

[@Jack-si4oi]

There needs to be an nfl game pass version of pat mcafee commentating the game of the week every Sunday.

[@kyleshapiro5438]

Did no one notice that he's just drinking a full bottle of wine, out of the bottle?? Thats perfect!

[@scottiejones6768]

This caught me off guard. I had absolutely no clue that you did comedy, man. You fuckin ripped. Cheers to you, Brother.

[@cameronscott4440]

Pat Mcafee is what Brendan Shaub dreams he could be

[@plasticarmour4070]

Just realized that the guy who introduced him is Todd mccomas from his podcast

[@xxskabxx]

The animated version of this story is fucking amazing

[@garyv2498]

That's a good act... I laughed hard. and I've heard that story before. But the way he told it with the little break jokes, that were funny, made it better.

[@thewateringwiz7118]

God Pat is hilarious but the way he delivered that punchline was next level

[@practicepodcast8499]

I love the standup I wish I could see Pat live

[@mikeridgland4783]

This is proof that it’s not the story you tell, it’s how you tell the story.

[@nwbklr]

When asked how much he had to drink, McAfee responded, “A lot, because I’m druUunk.”

[@austinlewis9587]

Peyton manning is a legend

[@n.phenomt.4734]

Damn Pat you killed it broski!! Laughed my fuckin ass off! Hahahaha

[@paulstrzykalski2596]

That may be the greatest story ever and I'm and Eagles fan!

[@alexcorona]

5 years later and Pat's dream came true, now has a bud light sponsorship.

[@g-mancollections5264]

Probably didn't age great

[@82ndAbnVet]

@@g-mancollections5264 I was just going to say that! 🤣

[@g-mancollections5264]

@@82ndAbnVet All the way, airborne

[@BNA_Est.1988]

Wine straight from the bottle 💀💀💀💀😂😂😂

[@rlmendy]

This never gets old.

[@ph-yd3sr]

Pat needs to be on every NFL broadcast... make this happen

[@Mechamjr88]

An NFL punter with a second job...... that in itself is a joke.

[@samlwackson8696]

D Lakland he’s retired

[@BeastGamer48]

8:36 This woman like “hey lets get outta here ;)” N he’s just like “Bitch shut up this is important”

[@johnmapu4908]

And now you know why I ended yo in that canal!!🤣🤣🤣 gold!!!

[@jaceshetler]

The fucking crowd laughed at everything

[@gam3cas135]

Pat McAfee has got to be the best story teller

[@alexharrislove]

Pat McAfee and Tony Romo working together broadcasting NFL games, that would be magic.

[@solventbased3153]

Hell yes

[@zealobiron]

Needs to happen! He cusses too much though for tv

[@richis2fast4u]

Nantz is a treasure, he and Romo are gold. McAfee will be great as a color commentator but I have no desire to bust up Nantz and Romo.

[@bradleyrounds9148]

@@richis2fast4u nantz graduate of the dick enberg school of useless information

[@Justin-bo5pg]

Romo: Watch the slot reciever Pat, if the quarterback touches the left side if his helmet he's going to run a slant, the safety is going to break to the inside and it's going to leave 1 on 1 on the outside and it's going to be a first down easy Quarterback touches his helmet, slot receiver runs the slant, outside reciever runs the post 1 on 1 Quarterback drops the ball over the corner for a gain of 15 Pat: That's amazing Tony, have you ever had an entire Casino bet red 18 and had it hit?

[@jasongrzelak7425]

How does McAfee not have a commentary job 😭😂

[@Lunzatis_Palemoon]

Probably because McAfee would be more entertaining than the game itself.

[@boomznbladez405]

Ive had a hunch for awhile... but after this story im convinced Peyton Manning is an incarnation of God who came to earth just so he could play some dam football

[@DreamFearless]

"Hey lets talk, yeah, why don't you go ahead and shut the fuck up forever?" 😂

[@ddogjones8677]

You are a funny man mr punter. Nice job. You have a future after never playing football. You can use that as a joke!

[@thejasontuber]

at 4:51" he said no to all of them" should have followed up with "i think, we all know peyton can score in under 2 minutes or less"

[@Bhenz8]

I LIVE LIKE 10 MINUTES AWAY FROM FRENCH LICK (Aka Springs Valley) THATS SO DOPE!!!

[@redhoode.n.y.6314]

Wow this dude is naturally funny this guy was a punter in the nfl i love it!!!

[@curtiswilliams824]

Should definitely keep doing this 👌 😂😂❤

[@thedarkknight5661]

The great thing is that this is a true story. Whats better than that is Pat McAfee explaining it

[@chronicautumn45]

i love pat man. taking pulls from the bottle the whole time. lol

[@milesmccue9388]

Pat is the coolest punter in the world lmao

[@ppimtx]

I grew up with that kid and he's always been hilarious. Even as a kid he was entertaining, little did we know that when he got alcohol it would be turned up to 11 lol.

[@Mr.Deleterious]

Mortys Comedy Joint is now a Panera Bread. A fucking Panera Bread? That in and of itself is comical.

[@gsabella4]

One of the best fucking stories.

[@coldcapital1a915]

The C gap comment kills me on all his videos

[@Dwendele]

Dude just casually gluggin on a whole ass bottle of wine on stage. Love it.

[@grayfox88jpswdio98]

I'm like # 18 got be a sign go colts!

[@phreak811]

Why is it all the good shit that has happened to Pat has started with him saying yes to something he had NO idea how to do?

[@5.7heaven]

phreak811 let that be a life lesson buddy

[@phreak811]

@@5.7heaven Its funny you say that because another man I admire John McGinley got his Guild card for Acting because he said yes to knowing how to polevault and couldn't. The man who asked was Alan Alda btw.

[@ericgershon3492]

If this happened rn, I'd be asking for pat's autograph instead😂

[@VinylUnboxings]

What's the story behind the canal? And damn Pat is actually hilarious, pulls off the transition to stand up really well

[@OceanMan88]

He got drunk and jumped in the canal 🤣 www.espn.com/nfl/news/story?id=5706081

[@danejurus69]

This story never gets old!

[@shellyvanarsdale4438]

He is very funny and love the bits on Peyton

[@jameslaverty9779]

Had some pop in there... ALLEGEDLY.

[@codeysnow2980]

"And now you all know why I ended up in that canal"

[@bmarley43]

I was waiting for the allegedly 😂

[@mjjumps]

represent western PA baby

[@RossMalagarie]

This guy is HILARIOUS !!!!!

[@meedee7527]

Im gonna go ahead and fuckig jump. Best part

[@aaronwill6738]

McAfee and Romo 2020

[@mitchfricano]

McAfee's like....."and get this guys! i was a punter!!" lululululululululululu

[@OverseerCody]

I think the dude at 7:45 is Travis Bell, he owns Celebrity Machines and is a huge General Lee fan

[@jewlopy5554]

French lick is where Larry Bird is from lol

[@briansteyer3569]

Red 18 red 18 - water boy classic

[@larryehrlich8702]

Orgin of the word SHIT. Shit is an acronym, Ship High In Transport. The word originated in England back when long distance shipping was by watering prior to the discovery of the engine. When they transported manure they learned very quickly not to let manure get wet. So they placcarded Ship High In Transport, which became the word Shit.

[@tonytom5242]

Pat needs to induct all future GOATS to HoF....

[@levi1929]

Great bit, good flow, the crowd loved you. I have no clue what “punting” is, but I think your new career will work out. :D

[@paulogalarce]

No, he just knows what could happen, where it happens, how to counter it. Dude was a mastermind.

[@Flowerboy.flores]

Oh dude this guy can tell a story. I think he's great, and it's cool to see this kind of inside of payton mannings life

[@deathpoolwilson]

I heard pants shitting is pretty the norm in Indiana...ahhh just playing

[@AdamWest1290]

Pat should be the new host on the daily show

[@JerryRevolution]

We should probably move our chips too huh? Lmao

[@senatetransportationservic4660]

Great story...funny ending...can't believe RED 18 came out...not only can Manning predict defenses...he can predict the table.

[@calebdoty8375]

get this man a netflix special

[@garyrooks9553]

Macafee my hero