Drama Time - The Mormon Guild

[@juliej9225]

Utah is absolutely gorgeous! There is a reason why there are a ton of Swiss immigrants who live in the Park City/Heber Valley area. Literally looks like Switzerland! The culture is absolutely bonkers. I grew up there, as a non Mormon, so I got a unique "outsider looking in perspective". It's very you're either with us or against us. My spouse is ex mormon, thanks to me, and his parents still have yet to accept this fact. We've been married for almost 10 years, and they still ask us to watch their stupid general conference thing despite the fact that he has made it clear that he doesn't practice and I'm not, and never will be, Mormon. We have a kid who is creeping towards 8, and his mom keeps trying to sus out if we're going to baptize them. Spoiler alert, we're not! The whole culture is very Stepford Wives..meaning everything is hunky doory, but as soon as something goes awry it's gaslight central and pretending it doesn't exist. Definitely the driving forces behind us moving away cause the scenery is stunning!

[@unavailable5143]

Mormons in the comments running damage control 😂

[@legreeniris]

That was one of the best stories ever. Thanks to the author, and I am glad you are not Mormon anymore :) . I grew up Evangelical Christian and since deconstructing all of that over the last 12 years or so, I am fascinated with other peoples stories growing up in their faiths and what made them leave, or just stories in general. 10/10

[@huntin4pixels]

I grew up with one side of the family being jehovah's witness and the other pentecostal. It was interesting to say the least

[@legreeniris]

@@huntin4pixels Wow, what a mix. Having listened to many accounts of people who were one or the other of these, and having visited a Pentecosal church for a service one sunday long ago, I can imagine. XD

[@violentheart8060]

I think most religions are just cults. What do you think? Since you've been in Christianity?

[@Vendacator]

I'm a Baptist Christian, and I'll be happy for anyone that leave that cult!

[@playhere-gu2lz]

Most of what people know about "mormons" isn't correct.

[@Colrmebloodred]

I was in a guild with two mormon dudes. They were really good, chill as hell and just wouldn't curse. I tried over and over to get them to, but they just wouldn't. Good dudes.

[@ASpaceOstrich]

This is the best Drama Time story I've heard in years. Holy hell. This is a thing of beauty.

[@rareraspberry]

Great story! I grew up Mormon too and am a similar age as the author. Funny thing is, I learned about WoW from one of my church friends.

[@xBlackDawnx]

That was perfection

[@MFobes]

This is genuinely one of the most unique and funny drama times I’ve heard in years. Love your content guys :)

[@adozer6848]

This story had me rolling just as much as Mike.

[@nimbostratus1162]

I didn't know there were Mormons in the UK. Guess I learned something today.

[@Levinsbun]

As an American I was shocked the first time I learned that Mormons were outside of Utah.

[@lukenorris2009]

​@@LevinsbunSpreading their Holiness to unholy land 😂

[@Drjos]

They go everywhere in the world on missions.

[@YoungsterJoey151]

There’s Mormon temples even in Japan. They’re everywhere at this point

[@ARMSMASH]

Yeah im one of them,, There are acutly probably more than your think and the numbers are growing mainly due to the pharse the church of england is turning into. We are a laid back bunch!

[@Infinimag]

One of the best drama times, long time since I laughed this much :)

[@yonkonomi5706]

Needed this on a crispy tuesday afternoon! Not friday at all 😅

[@michaelswanson1233]

I really don't care what people think or say but as someone who served a mission in the lds Mormon church. This person is either being overly dramatic or has a lot of resentment. I grew up in the church and never had any of these family rules. I never had so many rules on my mission I never had a companion follow me around from room to room in our apartment. Yes there is structure but it's not as insane as this person's experience. I think of it more as being in the military you have a schedule that you keep just like a job but it's you still have your agency to make your own decisions.

[@Hisoga]

The moment he said "Do you wanna be Baptised?" ingame I wheezed and knew where this was going.

[@Geeserunner]

This is perfect as I'm wrapping up a trip to Utah

[@coffeecup404]

This was absolute gold.

[@thechartech]

This is by far the best story ive ever heard from drama time. Its better than the vore druid. I was dying laughing listening to this driving home. Nearly caused an accident mike lol

[@lukenorris2009]

Absolutely brilliant drama time this week

[@ARMSMASH]

So Im a english mormon here, The whole abstenice thing is mainly dont sleep around, And the pornoogaphy bit is somwhat understandable as their has been alot of research showing it can be harmful. now the caffine thing it really dpends on what house you in, So at onestage it was all caffine where now it has movetowards tea and coffe but you can chug red bulls to your delight. The swearing bit is enforced abit but not massively, Its more what langauge would you use infront of your grandma. Most of the of the teachings are avoid addictives substances, every thing in modderation and be kind to others. In the bible jessus did say that people should not tith in a coerched manner but to tith freely as in they want to do so. Us mormons are pretty laid back people as we are normal people that rate big jesus. and the auther seems a little sus we dont belive we get our own planets. These story from the auther is half researched and seems fictional

[@ARMSMASH]

And one of the apps we commeny use is called lds libary, And their is lds tools but that is useally for setting stuff up with the church interally, one use is we take register for the elders quourem.

[@juliej9225]

Ah... you're a normal Mormon. Utah Mormon is a whole other ballpark! The Mormon's who live there, particularly the closer you get to BYU and Provo very much follow the rules in your book as close to a word of law without actually having any enforcement legally (though they've tried). I grew up in Utah and you can tell who are the people who lived there their whole lives vs those who moved from somewhere else. My in laws are heavily, what we call, "Utah Valley Mormon". They live 5 minutes from BYU. My spouse is ex Mormon, I grew up Catholic but don't practice. We got married at a vineyard near the Columbia River in Oregon. They flat out refused to come, even though their son was the one who picked the venue, and actively treat me like I'm not my husband's real wife because we didn't get married in the temple. These people exist, and yes they do believe in the planet thing. My MIL tried to use that during an intervention with my husband to try to get him to break up with me early on. When that didn't work, she sent over the girls from the local singles ward to our apartment for years! She only stopped after we had our daughter (not out of wedlock mind you), and only because I started to answer the door while nursing cause I was sick of her games. She's a real fun lady, and she's not an outlier.

[@ARMSMASH]

@@juliej9225 Yeah i have noticed their are quite a lot of differances btween mormons in where they are from acuttly. I know in canda they do acutlly still drink tea. Which I break the rule as a english man as if put enough good into the world i think jesus would forgive me lol. But I think you get some people that are really sheltered a lot of the time in there area and utah seems to have that issue a little bit. living in england every thing is very rough and ready so its differant here. And its lovely to hear you marrige is going well! I think what happens though as well is with a lot of people is they dont have enough outside contact with other people which I think is slowly changing auctlly. But yeah when it comes to my church I jus t like jesus hehe,. Might be a mormon did not say I was a good one lol haha

[@kyumei_]

this is insanity - love it

[@mkeller7881]

one of my favorite dramatime stories ever

[@cci9459]

Lets go drama!

[@publicaccount1666]

As a resident mormon im just gunna throw out that OP is a little sus, a lot of the details that he talked about about how the church and how missions work, as well as stuff that missionaries teach is consistently, not wrong per se, but off, with some things that are explictily not what the church teaches, with some things that other Christian denominations say mormons believe, but don't. The entire time it sounded like I was listening to someone who says they have gone to Chuck-e-cheese tell everyone what it's like to go there, but then he says that you only go to Chuck-E-Cheese for the mouse and not the pizza, arcade, and attractions. "I totally have been to chuck-E-cheese! Let me tell you all of the stories about how I hung out with the mouse on stage and watched the stage show and nothing else. My favorite animitronic is Freddy Fazbear." I even checked in with my dad and a missionary who actually served in the same mission a little after that time and there were a couple of details such as the bishop being the one who assigns missions as well as being the one who is in charge of the missionaries that are just flat out wrong. The parts I find very believable, tho is the story about his brother, boy got bad spawn RNG with the mormon equivalent of southern baptists. Also , he and his companion would get discouraged and just say screw it and play WoW all day for weeks and then justify it while trying to follow the mission rules in game. That sounds like something two trunkies would do. "Utah mormons," have a bad reputation even within the church for being overly zealous, immature, adding rules/doctrine that aren't taught by or approved by the church to their own detriment, being in a cultural bubble, trying to tie politics into church teachings, and obssessing over going on a mission then to BYU. I think BYU 20 year olds are where the "soaking," thing comes from as a side note, no one in ANY leadership level would EVER condone it. It was to the point where normal mormons have made comedy skits and movies making fun of these people and missionaries would cringe brace themselves on their companion was going to be from Utah. Also as a side note I'm not sure you stay with the companion you get trained with it's common practice to rotate companion missionaries every 1-6 months with differing experience levels, not having two fresh newbies get off the plane together, but that is a grey area since when starting a totally new mission in a new country you COULD have that happen. Also if at any point the companion was openly smoking the way OP said he was, ESPECIALLY during training, he would have been sent home or been sat down and been talked to with a plan on what to do from there. As well, most members, maybe excluding the actual unironically mental, would never shame someone for not being able to have children, my wife went through a similar situation and the amount of support she received was incredible and even with her own trial of faith, the members were patient and understanding with her coming with their own stories and showing her that she was not alone in that

[@theoperator3712]

I echo this sentiment. This story seems like it was entirely fabricated by someone who did a ton of research.

[@kadenkiki456]

ye this guy def sounds sus... this just cant be true from my own experience.

[@0332288]

Well if the Utah sect really are known for being weirdos, then that might explain the discrepancies from common practice?

[@theoperator3712]

@@0332288 No, because there are things here no one that is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints(or former member) would say. Such as conflating a missionary with an apostle, or saying that a missionary reports to the bishop instead of to the mission president.

[@cake7134]

Yeah as an ex-member who actually served a mission in England (London South) some of the basic details about missions and doctrine is strangely incorrect however there is a few things here that bang on remind me of my experiences. Leaning towards this being fake though.

[@LizzieLeish]

They found RNJesus lololol.

[@bokoub7824]

I really want to learn more about this guild. This was fascinating

[@Saphira.]

For some reason i'm very invested in this story. This is one of the funniest things ive heard in quite some time

[@boomerbyll3004]

Just wanted to laugh at your hot take that the chosen people of god should live in Florida. Most Americans think Florida is the armpit of America. “Florida man” is literally a joke about how people who live there are crazy. Of course some people like it. Of course there is plenty of beauty there. But I’d rather visit Utah.

[@robertfancyman3873]

Mormonism would be a really funny joke if it wasn't real. It's still pretty funny, but in a sad way.

[@MrArknes]

top tier story

[@theduncanthetank]

yay Drama time!

[@Trout_Nemesis]

lol. dude really enjoyed making things sound bad. there are definitely details that he either didn't know were wrong, exaggerated, or straight up reported things incorrectly. But yeah we're weird folks.

[@AftermathRV]

He very likely had a different upbringing or PoV as you, doesn't mean he's insinxere

[@Trout_Nemesis]

@@AftermathRV His point of view is different. 100%. But he is plainly wrong about some details. Its possible he has legitimately forgotten things. However, he also exaggerates parts of his story that (from my point of view) looks like it was done to create more sympathy for his story. Its fine. Its a story meant to be entertainment. But it does make me a little annoyed because I think the story would work even if he hadn't made some points look more extreme than they are.

[@MrJustinArt]

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, as my uncle used to say

[@jaredmtatro]

Technically they don't teach the gooddhood of your own planet thing anymore

[@AftermathRV]

This was 2005

[@MillieG]

Someone get Mike tickets to the Book of Mormon. He'll love it and learn so much.

[@NCISCherno]

Goldeneye was as bad as the Ultra64 was. Non-poors had a PS1. Or just kept the superior Mega Drive going.

[@kslickentertainment]

Golden eye level name is “complex” 🔫 👁️

[@Giddywink]

During covid, missionaries were generally forced by society to proselytize online as best they could. Due to social distancing.

[@jaredmtatro]

As a member of team USA, I'm not familiar with these regular "vacations" you take. But seriously, have fun

[@cake7134]

As a former Mormon, this is definitely fake. This story was in 2005, which at the time Men weren't allowed to go on their missions until the age of 19 (until 2014 when the age was changed to 18 for men and 19 for women, down from 19 for man and 21 for women), where the author at 14:09 says he was a few months past his 18th birthday when he left.

[@AftermathRV]

He did say he changed a lot of major details and to not sus him out it's for the benefit of his mission partner

[@snakelord2234]

The obvious answer is france. Honestly when in doubt blame france

[@cattysplat]

Napoleon being the first to separate church and state resulted in the population being way more secular to most.

[@m0nsterLiam]

As a former Mormon, I can confirm everything the author said as an authentic description of the Mormon world view. 😂

[@MrJake8555]

im only 9 minutes in but I swear to god if soaking gets mentioned im out

[@SunniestAutumn]

There are a lot of soaks in Nerub'ar Palace.

[@kaylolz4690]

Fingers crossed that Emma didn't have to experience soaking.

[@cattysplat]

Religion is a hell of a drug. Not even being blessed can save you from World of Warcraft addiction though.

[@Conviction.Of.The.Light.]

Man thats really too bad, fucking 14 years I've watched you, being belittled by someone you admire is kind of fucking atrocious, good luck. i will never watch one again. painful really to have this happen.

[@wonderbar4881]

Are you a Mormon?

[@hotdogfrenchfry]

Cope with it, mormon

[@SunniestAutumn]

Ahahahhhhaaahahahahahaaahahahaaa

[@snidercats2618]

?

[@yacket]

Is this /j or ? Cuz if you were watching 14 years HOW are you surprised rn?