Philomena Cunk: My Mate Paul - Ultimate Compilation

Everytime I talked about my mate Paul.
Twitter: OnCunk
Sharing all things Cunk - a fictional character from Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe, Cunk on Britain, Cunk on Shakespeare and Cunk on Earth - Portrayed by the incredible Diane Morgan.

[@isaacortiz1298]

Paul is the most interesting man in the world

[@kappa6550]

he deserve his own monographic show

[@Goochisms]

¿Paul is 1 of my K1nd!

[@petereastwood7868]

And he prefers Dos Equis!

[@belindahutchinson5333]

😅😂

[@Paul-ju2bj]

@isaacortiz1298 You're so right, I am.

[@petsbiology9316]

Philomena has three people in her life - her mate Paul, her ex, and her aunt who aligns chakras for 80 quid an hour

[@judyhonigbrot7126]

And her Uncle whos Life Is as boring as....

[@irrationalpie2323]

And her Nephew who makes buildings in Minecraft

[@iTzJimBoi]

Her friend Sean as well!

[@Celeste-hl1kw]

@@iTzJimBoi Sean is her ex

[@bulkvanderhuge9006]

Don't forget Barry Shitpeas.

[@jamesmir89]

Paul designed a treadmill for his fiancé’s pet snake. Brilliant.

[@z_ed]

_"Mind you the prototype pulled the snake's head off 🥴..."_

[@hfsk123]

​@@z_edworst ending to a birthday party I've ever been invited to

[@android12921]

Seems like he saw the snake as an enemy!!

[@AutisticEthics]

:(((((( RIP

[@deathmetalpotato]

i’m so grateful for these comments reminding me what was said in the video i just watched 🙏 idiots.

[@SnootchieBootchies27]

Paul is an enigma, wrapped in mystery, wrapped in bacon. If we ever met Paul, it would absolutely ruin it. Keep Paul behind the scenes.

[@jamesperkins191]

Paul is like a British Old Man Henderson

[@Jim_The_Fish]

The delivery of “If I ever see Christ again, he’s a dead man” is still to this day, one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard anyone deliver.

[@Soonzuh]

But that response! *sucks in air* followed by "Ri-ight..." I cracked up! 😅

[@tehdopefish]

I love the moment of hesitation after Philomena says something completely unhinged. You can practically see the person's brain go into overdrive trying to process what they just heard.

[@chrisgetskicked]

The “have I?” response to the nature of providence comment always gets me 😂

[@whoe_whate8487]

The “…righttt…” at the end from the guy is really what gets me

[@KatoElijah-v5l]

Her question to be a good one was also an example of the nature of providence 😅

[@parkeydee]

As soon as you hear “my mate Paul” you know you’re in for a treat 😂

[@ginaldeguer]

The came-a-lot lady was told two stories about Paul. The bloke in prison and the marathon diarrhea. Omg lol

[@tookitogo]

Her face at the end of the latter: *gulp* “No.” 😂

[@paulkolding3680]

as someone named paul, i feel represented.

[@Dcook85]

The marathon diarrhea one has to be my favorite of all of these. But it's a close call.

[@kelp9517]

the woman just said no lmaoooooooo

[@KevTBros]

Whenever I'm having a bad day, I just watch this video and hear about Paul. The story about the Ketamine brownies gets me every time, as does, "And when I looked up, Paul was crying".

[@frankrizzo367]

"Mind you the prototype did pull the snake's head off" 😅

[@rolphvictor]

Gets me every time!!

[@rolphvictor]

'...yeah... worst ending to a Birthday party I've ever been to."

[@DemKatie42]

The guy around 4:50 is my absolute favorite because he always gives her so much credit and finds something useful to pull out of her comments

[@ace_reject]

Well, you’ve raised a very significant question about the nature of providence. Have I? You have indeed. Gets me every single time 😂 4:45

[@larastroud6644]

I love that however hard she tries to be ridiculous the philosophy dude can still always find something meaningful in her questions.

[@pange6018]

Whenever she mentions Paul I always imagine it’s Paul McCartney for some reason

[@leonardogoulart3245]

In my headcanon, her mate Paul is litetally Macca.

[@man.inblack]

She mentions Sir Paul’s songwriting during the one about her mate Paul’s LSD trip

[@leeriches8841]

If you live on a council estate in the UK, chances are you all know of a 'my mate Paul' that always has outrageous stuff happening to him tbh

[@janeldavis905]

I used to get emails from some guy in the UK because my address was close to the woman he was trying to send emails to (I'm in the US). For a long time, I tried to tell him I wasn't his friend, but he never responded and he just kept sending emails with the most amazingly crazy stories of what he'd been up to. Eventually, I stopped trying to tell him and I just started enjoying his emails. I would get so excited when I saw he'd written because I knew whatever story he had, it would be nuts! He was definitely a "my mate paul" kind of guy 😂

[@intercommerce]

Here in Canada, our version of Council Estate is called "public housing", and is usually the poorest areas of every city, often in slum-like conditions. Unavailable to the working classes, they are never separate dwellings like houses, but usually apartments or townhouses. 'Council Estate' sounds so much fancier...

[@updated5709]

@@intercommerce Ain't nothing fancy about a council estate. I'd take Canadian Public housing any day of the week.

[@danielcolunga942]

@@updated5709we just got projects here in the US

[@pyrtwistPyrtwistWorldInMotion]

there are a lot of "my mate Pauls" in the States

[@melotone3305]

At 0:40 where she tells Paul that she has to read a book, cracked me up. Between the sentiment and accent...just that thought alone was provoking. And earned my laugh 😂😂.

[@rolphvictor]

My favorite is "My mate Paul invented a treadmill for his fiancée's pet snake." We are so lucky for this woman's weird brain.

[@petraw9792]

Aren't Philomena's lines scripted? We are so lucky for this team of writers (apparently without a single woman, though).

[@definitelynotanAIchatbot]

​@@petraw9792 Charlie Brooker writes most of her lines and also produced the show.

[@petraw9792]

@@definitelynotanAIchatbotCharlie is a woman?

[@definitelynotanAIchatbot]

@@petraw9792 Define "woman."

[@2fortsmostwanted]

if it weren't for the phone call segment i'd be convinced she made up Paul to talk about all the weird shit she's done herself

[@toddsmith1814]

That Italian lady must have been questioning her English skills because there was no way she was hearing what she was hearing.

[@tutt55]

The one about the threesome cracks me up every time.

[@cronistamundano8189]

Paul McCartney never had to write a song about someone eatind sh**t from his own shoe ahahahahahahahahaa

[@MiniMii550]

In my head the Paul that Philomena is talking about is Paul Hollywood and it makes these stories that much funnier

[@littleluna1019]

Thank you so much for sharing this! Has completely replaced my mental image of Paul into something even more absurd

[@emmacook1984]

Why did jesus do that to him?

[@KatherineAcosta20]

Right? I would expect that of God but not Jesus

[@KevTBros]

The first time I heard her say that, I literally fell out of my chair from laughing so hard. I grew up southern Baptist, and it made me want her to tell that story to a southern baptist just to get their answer so she could annihilate them with some off the wall bullshit response. 😂

[@Eshanas]

Saint thomas’d.

[@alextrill1746]

Your life will never be as interesting as Paul's.

[@NorthJackson]

im not sure i want it to be

[@marcuswalters8093]

Oh my God. I have laughed my arse off more times at this than I have at any other comedy. Cunk is a beast.

[@barcelomrozovic1625]

We need a spin-off about her mate Paul

[@todddickinson3262]

1000%!!!!😊

[@sylph8005]

Rated X

[@PatrickByrne-e5v]

in Charlie Brookers Newswipe theres another character with Cunk called Barry Shitpeas. That might scratch the itch :)

[@jeffs9850]

I just discovered Philomena yesterday & I’m crying at this. It’s stunningly hilarious!🤣🤣

[@UncleDansVintageVinyl]

"Worst ending to a birthday party I've ever been to." Oh. My. God.

[@CarlCiullaBenavides]

Paul sounds like a blast

[@leenaparsons9876]

I should not have been drinking tea while watching this.

[@seidlywhiplash]

I spat mine out, too...very bad idea

[@ngs2683]

Paul Atreides has crazy lore.

[@MoskHotel]

This is by far to my knowledge, the Brit equivalent to “my buddy, Keith.”

[@jauntellez]

Imagine taking Philomina over to your parents house and she starts talking about her mate Paul

[@SonofGroucho1]

Paul is a legend. He maybe even deserves his own show? 😂

[@maggieelizabethh3043]

I picture Paul as Sgt. Pepper era Paul McCartney like with the weird little mustache

[@franki1990]

Yes!!

[@lillticky]

Paul is actually Bob Mortimer

[@paulandrews__]

My name's Paul and I astral-travelled on 4 tabs of acid and as hard as I looked I couldn't find the moon either. I did find boxes and boxes of chocolate-coated marshmallow easter eggs in the middle of the M2 freeway south of Johannesburg, though. But no moon.

[@EthanDephouse]

and the red nose on the intimate skin?

[@meaouwww]

Philomena is like that one character in every sitcom… but she’s real.

[@Paul-ju2bj]

I feel so represented.

[@pavloswiss87]

5:16 "------- right."

[@Joseph-bj1kb]

It got to the point every time I heard my mate Paul I burst out laughing again 😂😂

[@truthandrevelation2567]

Paul is Philomena's Carl pokington.

[@smackpointgsps1476]

And when I looked up, Paul was crying. Oh god that kills me!

[@ruinationknight8132]

Whenever she says “my mate Paul” you know the story is gonna get wild and amazing

[@StandardUserFromEarth]

My mate Paul and Alis My Julie should never cross, if they did the world would end.

[@versioncity1]

I've also got a mate called Paul; he has a much more sedate life.

[@martiantexan7632]

"or would the potato have to take root and kill him to qualify?" omfg rofl

[@hollowclarity]

Paul is living the fullest life ever . This man experienced unbelievable things

[@cryptochrome3090]

She’s the best

[@larrylambert1220]

I want to hang with this Paul dude.

[@curranjohnson7489]

Have you not done your research? Because my mate Paul sent me a video

[@TheTennesseeTornado]

Her mate Paul's run-in with a jackknifed lorrie and The Lord happened just months before he was slated to be a lighting director for the music video of Belgian techno anthem, Pump Up The Jam.

[@queenjasminetemaiharoa7009]

I want to meet Paul! Feels like I know him already😂✌🏽❤️

[@SnootchieBootchies27]

Paul is an enigma, wrapped in mystery, wrapped in bacon. If we ever met Paul, it would absolutely ruin it. Keep Paul behind the scenes.

[@paulieboy6644]

I think we only got Cunk on Earth in the American Netflix catalog. Would love to see more content!

[@michaellacroixphotography4272]

Philomena is great

[@bbbonez7537]

Scientist: the universe is billions of years old. Philomena: that’s funny cause my mate paul actually led a holy war and took over the universe cause the emperor had his dad killed so I guess my mate Paul is billions of years old too!

[@MyDeceptionOfficial]

She broke up with Paul because the sound he made when falling down the stairs

[@erikdefeijter1777]

The treadmill for his girlfriend’s pet snake killed me…

[@PremiumPastaSauce]

And the snake.

[@erikdefeijter1777]

@@PremiumPastaSauce 😂

[@Ciprian-Amarandei]

Paul had seen some shit in his life. Looks like a wise man

[@johnquinn456]

She's a car reck ya can't stop watching

[@scruffyrat7226]

I would watch a spin off about Paul

[@mviki91]

A life is worth living only if you have the life of her mate, Paul.

[@alanshewitt]

The snake treadmill got me

[@Tomharry910]

This might be earnest talk in modern day Britain for all you know.

[@Dennis-nc3vw]

Philomena’s mate Paul > Ali G’s mate Dave

[@pedromorais8271]

Paul is Bob Sacamano but written by Offspring

[@huolalupin6008]

The Cambridge philosopher of religion is almost as good a comedian as Philomena.

[@trixxite]

Paul is 100% the equivalent of "my buddy Keith" from Left 4 Dead 2

[@aaronwhitehead2978]

I can't stop laughing

[@TM-hl7ir]

She is so wonderful and needed in this time 😂😂😂😂😂

[@dashcamreviewaustralia5633]

Her mate Paul definitely is living with a wonderful life

[@tokajileo5928]

Diane Morgan is one of the most extraordinary woman alive today.

[@lucioferrando5994]

She's mate Paul made all the things she could not accomplish

[@100musicplaylists3]

roflol, A female Ali G! Shes great, natural comic genius.

[@Robin-pe1se]

"Me mate dave" "me uncle jamal''

[@bluevol1976]

Please introduce us to Paul one day.

[@benjaminacuna8013]

I love that feel like a woman is Paul’s ringtone

[@maartenvandam344]

There are some kind of drug use even Paul McCartney won't sing about. Maybe even Lou Reed and JJ Cale.

[@carolhedberg2341]

Can you interview Paul? What a fascinating man!

[@BLANK-kq8wv]

"Have I?" lmao

[@razielcroft-mo8ll]

Paul is that unemployed friend that everyone got.....

[@DonArsuk84]

Paul is actually Paul Mccartney

[@heidiq9520]

Paul is an interesting guy just like Bob Sacamano 🤣

[@ItsMeOscar.]

We need to see paul

[@KamranRazvan]

I wish I could sit down and have a beer with Paul. Would that not be a great time?

[@ourcommonancestry6025]

The dark side of paul... Omg I laughed for hours

[@brian554xx]

would like "My Mate, Paul", the movie.

[@ethzero]

... And you never see Paul.

[@SnootchieBootchies27]

​@@ethzeroyes. It needs to be entirely 3rd party anecdotes. And Philomena's stories.

[@jp.trevoro]

Socko from iCarly and Paul would've been best friends

[@floofyguinepig9795]

Paul is like that one unemployed friend

[@buecheri]

0:36 i have the book!! its so funny i love it

[@hollowclarity]

If it was up to us, we would give her a crown and call her the queen of England

[@samuelcookphippen]

Awesomeness

[@josemadrid2913]

I think I have the same mate Paul

[@jackkreacherr9339]

I really need to meet her mate Paul

[@ChrstphreCampbell]

I looked around ( a little ) for The video disproving The existence of The Moon, but couldn’t find it ! Could someone provide a link to this video: !

[@amnessie]

Rip pet snake 😔

[@Goztw]

my mate paul LOOOL

[@quantumfluffyflapjack]

I think I know him.

[@RayOrly-fs3gr]

Mate Paul is Ali G. Philomena is Julie.

[@natasastanojevic]

Is that the same Paul that appeared in Wheeler Dealers and never said a single word?