Physical Manifestations of Narcissism

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@youngblood8540]

If you're with them long enough, you'll start to see the little horns and a tail. 😆😂🤣

[@actionpls.]

😅 narcissist rage and hate you for looking at self help videos. Because, they don't want to accept that they have issues. When, they are the ones that actually need to be looking for these videos to change their abusive neglectful ways of treating you over every conceived thing in their head that they blow out of proportion. The narcissist says all those people are miserable and unhappy. However, I'm sure they all went through narcissist abuse to. And are just trying to help other victims get clarity on dealing with narcissist abuse. Narcissist won't get help, and they don't want you getting help either.

[@user-yw5hm4fy2i]

It sounded like these Narc. are Demons POSSESSED 😂😅..Psychological treatments alone won't help without exorcist performance by the Catholics priests called "CONFESSIONS"😆😄

[@BudFuddlacker]

‘Little’???

[@invisableobserver]

Wil they have red longhandle underwear & a pitchfork?

[@americawaters4257]

😂

[@avibhagan]

Constant rage, constant anger, constant smug and arrogant behaviour. Then when someone else is present, they immediately morph into a kind and considerate person with a gentle demeanour. If you ever witness such Jekyll and Hyde behaviour then run. This isn't a sign of emotional maturity it's a sign of emotional manipulation. If they can control their emotions around strangers then they can control their emotions around you when speaking to you about what is bothering them and they are CHOSING to demean you and mistreat you in private when nobody is looking. 😮 I was 42 years old when I figured this out. We've got to educate young people about this.

[@mac-ju5ot]

He asked of I were dead yet to my gay neigbhor ...that's them his son is a cop

[@dmbmamas3880]

I wish I could copy/paste this!!!❤❤❤

[@dmbmamas3880]

Would love to stay connected. It took me a paych degree & 23 years of marriage to figure this out and now he's grooming our 12 yr old son for full-blown NPD. Literally want to join four groups...Lee Hammock's Mental Healbess, Tamie M. Joyce's Freedom Group, Dr. Les's new group and wonder if Dr. Ramani has a group. I want to be part of a massive NPD community as my primary family!🙏💜😇

[@kimkayoda7454]

yes, they put on their angel wings, shake off the red powder and hide the pitchfork.

[@PATH918]

👍💯

[@jeanie5074]

The eyes! Hollow, dark, slithery, slivery snake eyes

[@Cekatu]

👍 That was my guess too....until I watched the video.

[@jameshunt6414]

Oh dear, I can see this is someone In particular, but tbf it would've been my second guess.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Yes

[@the.toxic.phoenix]

I'd have said eyes too! They're just dead

[@magdalenanowakowska5263]

narcissists treat their child or animals like an accessory

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

Yep

[@sherriflemming3218]

Yes

[@susanturner9023]

They treat everyone that way.

[@mariamorgan8447]

A quick smirk smile

[@Zany_Zan]

The eyes! The frequent lack of eye contact and the intense eye contact when he argued with me that showed his utmost hatred towards me that I never knew why

[@erinward2983]

As a child, when my narc parent began heavily manipulating/gaslighting me, he'd often sit me on his lap, saving his eye contact for his questions. He stressed the importance of honesty while lying. He told me he would always be able to tell if I lied. I was so little. He intimidated me. I was honest and believed he was too. THANK YOU TO ALL researchers, writers, etc. working on narcissism AND GASLIGHTING. It's devastating. We need you! You're making for a better future for others.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I had a narcissistic ex boyfriend tell me that I could ‘be a stripper if I got breast implants’ . It was a horrible ‘backhanded compliment’ that made me feel more insecure. It had a yucky negative mean tone to it the way he said it . He never really gave me real compliments, just weird twisted ones. My poor younger self didn’t know any better , but thankfully I eventually got away from him. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[@notagain779]

@costelloandlizzievolk2233, I think it says everything about that boyfriend, and doesn't reflect on you. It's good you know better now than to let such comments make you feel insecure. Also, I think some men get corrupted in their thinking by watching porn, or listening to the Howard Stern radio show. I know a lot of people think he's funny, but men who listen too much to his "humor" eventually take on a twisted way of thinking, especially as it relates to men and women in relationships.

[@lisaspencer5881]

I unfortunately married mine but he was the same way.

[@janettemartin4604]

Anyone can be a stripper!

[@DJH97]

My ex once told me if I gained any weight it was grounds for divorce. He continually stared at me. Drove me crazy. But he was not violent angry. He was extremely passive aggressive. Our counselor told him that. That’s when I started investigating PA and then narcissism. Almost 30 years of total confusion until I started really figuring it out.

[@renewed93]

They always keep this low-level conflict going with us. It's always there, in every interaction with them. Hence, the backhanded compliment. I perfectly understand your comment because I've felt the same way. They leave you with an icky feeling. Their "love" always feels dirty and vile.

[@lt827]

The doing things for show explains why my narcissistic ex does yard work at my house whenever he picks up our child. He wants to look like a good guy to the neighbours.

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

I believe it

[@sarahd147]

Me too

[@lt827]

It was an ah ha moment when I witnessed my mother telling my daughter how special she was and stating that others weren’t as special as my daughter was. It was her narcissistic way of idealizing so she could later control the person.

[@jennifermcilwain5095]

I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one that pays close attention to the devil in the details........

[@talonsarise]

My mother does this with her children and grandchildren. She can't just pay a compliment without tearing somebody else down, says they have a "special" connection, not like with so and so... completely sucked my daughter in with this and continues to use it when she needs attention. I can't imagine ever doing this to my own children. Explains why my siblings and I don't speak anymore. Mom has turned us all against each other and they don't see it or are unwilling to admit it and make changes. I miss them, but have to stay away from that toxic mess.

[@pittymama4500]

My mother has selected one of my children to be special and it is so obvious to everyone else and it's just very sad for both of them realistically because my daughter is not winning anything good at the end of the day we know it just does more damage. One of these days the image of perfect will die and my mother will see her just as everyone else and that will unfortunately be very painful

[@beverlyadams7205]

I always wondered why my narcissistic mother spent so much money on my clothes when she spent very little on her own.

[@erinward2983]

My father did similar to me. The coercive control/subjugation took decades for me to see. Your daughter is blessed that you caught and recognized what was happening right then and there.

[@joxclever]

Ok I know you've been pretty clear, but to add; PLEASE don't assume someone is narcissistic because they avoid eye contact. An autistic person such as myself finds eye contact deeply uncomfortable and may well be accused of lying or being dismissive, when in fact we mean well and are trying to communicate with you.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I can relate 💯 ❤Thank you for saying this. ❤

[@KitKat_293]

very true. that's why it only works as a possible clue, but definitely not a certain one. with these overlap behaviors you just have to give a person the benefit of the doubt, understanding it could be neurodivergence and it could be a personality disorder but you really need a lot situations and context and interactions of all sorts and time for the picture to form

[@naturalianoss]

I am shy and anxious and sometimes I avoid eye contact also I have thick eyebrows lol

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

Some Native American cultures don't engage in eye contact either because they believe it is the evil eye

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

In certain Native American cultures, eye contact for an extended period of time, is viewed as being disrespectful. I've heard extreme cases that it is considered evil.

[@raegeh-fv9sm]

I would say smile/frown that is always opposite of others smile/frown is a giveaway for narcissist. Someone who is happy when others are miserable and miserable when others are happy.

[@sandralindsay9739]

The hard stony look of the face. I'll never forget..One Sunday while at a restaurant, the Narcissist was on high alert. He bad mouthed everyone in the restaurant, to the point when I couldn't take it. He saw my disappointment and tried to curb it but I noticed in the selfies he took of us , I was startled. The coldness in the face, even when he smiled..just evil. Scary

[@GabrielleP310]

My experiences with narcissists: when it came to texting back and forth especially when the relationship was going downhill, you start to feel like an impending doom/terrible feeling in your stomach of not knowing what the text is going to be about…, heart pounding/bad feeling type of sensation…, and THIS has been consistently true for me‼️‼️‼️ THIS is a sign you’re definitely dealing with a NARC, they want to make the relationship unstable on purpose to control you and make you submissive. RUN and don’t ever contact them. Don’t try to fix the connection. The connection never existed. You will continue to have negative physical symptoms and this is your body trying to alert you (believe it)‼️

[@paulmilwee9940]

Put down the phone & walk away

[@kalaoahaole]

FIRST, the fact they CAN break up by text instead of be human and talk face to face on such an important and invested subject. Ironic given the fact that the way they waste our invaluable time is likely their worst crime. You think I'd be happy they did it the quick, robotic and cold. Brrr...

[@fooraapkotjakker8131]

I think we live in a system that enables, encourages and rewards narcistic behavior

[@jofann7370]

Exactly!!! It's call Capitalism 😢

[@jeanie5074]

Eyebrows too, but, the eyes are the key. The Devil’s fury dwells behind the eyes 🕳️

[@eileenschubach8202]

😭

[@longsway]

Yes! I have noticed it, too. It is a very discrete tell that it is very easy to miss if your trauma manifests with fear of eye contact. When there is an injury, you see the rage flicker with the eyes and then quickly move to planning the retaliation.

[@avibhagan]

Oh, it's funny watching my ex, fighting her natural urges to be rude and obnoxious towards me when in the presence of people that she doesn't want to see her real self. I never ever want to be alone with her ever. It's the only way to ensure that I'm treated with respect and decency.

[@stillpril8942]

There is an episode of veggie tales called Larryboy vs the angry eyebrows lol...the villain was a big pair of eyebrows...😂.

[@juliebryson4998]

You are so spot on. My husband when he’s pinned down & has to answer he turns his whole body away & a devaluation tool to me & can’t make eye contact when he’s throwing a narc tantrum. If I try to address a problem with him he looks away & blames other people or me for his appalling behaviour. Trying to distract me from the subject we are trying to sort out. He victim plays the same way by looking 👀 away & making stories up to get people to feel sorry for him.

[@navydogsadventures3500]

My wife would always dress up our daughters like little princesses. Makes sense now. I've found out a lot about this subject as the years have gone by. I now psyco analyze everyone at different times. It has changed me greatly.

[@darkwebgirl]

...dressing up your little girl as a princess is not inherently narcissistic...

[@navydogsadventures3500]

@darkwebgirl no but adding up everything else over time, it is a good indicator!

[@EGreensoul]

Dead eyes with no feelings,thoughts are displayed. Especially in covert narc

[@gopremiummedia29455]

Too many people I’ve known are walking embodiments of narcissism.

[@naturalianoss]

We live in a narcissistic society

[@invisableobserver]

Demon controlled zombies

[@kalaoahaole]

@@invisableobserver very weak on the inside, incapable of self examination cause it's so ugly in there -- scared and scary at the same time

[@HeiligerBingoBongo]

One of my kids, my almost 12 years old son, is in the "Spectrum" (Asperger-Autism). --- Can you imagine what insane "eye contact fights" happen in my family? His grandiose mother demands: "look into my eyes son!, I'm talking to you!" --- And if my son eventually does look into her eyes, she's the one who immediately breaks the eye contact . . .

[@bibidiaz9282]

She looks away first because she feels she won. She made him look into her eyes knowing it's a difficult thing for him to do. She wants to control him and that's a win in her Narcissist book.

[@chocho1917]

My mom said that!!! Look at me when I'm talking to you!

[@erinward2983]

The eyes. They follow you and they look deeply into you studying you. (edit) Ok the eyebrows. This is interesting.

[@moniquejackson7741]

Yes! They're staring and taking in everything you're saying and doing, even though they don't care and it's only to collect ammo, but then when they zIng you they're not looking at you.

[@matteblak6158]

And then they go into a rage when you won’t look them in the eye…or you stare back…it’s creepy

[@erinward2983]

@@matteblak6158 …in a lucky moment we might get it right.

[@beverlyadams7205]

My narcissistic daughter hid her hateful side from my best friend Mary. She called her Aunt Mary and Mary loved her. Mary couldn’t understand why I was having such a hard time getting along with my daughter, until one day we were playing cards and my daughter let her mask slip and Said A very hurtful thing to me. Mary had never seen that side of her before. She finally understood that my daughter could be so mean and hateful.

[@mildredbangtree]

I just read your book and wanted to write a letter to you about physical symptoms manifested from being subjected to prolonged stress. I'm being scheduled now for open heart surgery for severe arterial sclerosis at the age of 55. I'll need a valve replacement and triple bypass 'while we are in there'. At any rate, I've become a DoctorRamani aficionado over the past couple of years because of . I went to the Doctor several times from Covid till now and did everything under the sun short of shaving my head and donning orange robes to reduce my chest pain. I was told I had a murmur and to keep an eye on that, but the pain was psychosomatic. This is true as the feedback loop with the limbic system is keeping the score. Long story short, the valve issue is congenital and the chest pain is a canary in the coal mine and it could be argued that I spent too much time pursuing a potential mental remedy as external contributing factors were not the cause. In short, it would be nice to have a video reminder of how we should listen to our bodies and advocate for ourselves in the Doctor's office.

[@beverlyadams7205]

Amen. Saying that it’s all in your head isn’t always the case. I wish you a speedy recovery and good luck in the future.❤

[@bellaluce7088]

@mildredbangtree Good for you for advocating for yourself! I have a congenital heart valve issue that I now know can cause acute heart failure but I was blown off by doctors for YEARS despite severe symptoms and *objective test results* that something was physically wrong. And ironically, being gaslighted by authority figures who were supposed to help me evoked the trauma of my childhood and triggered emotional eating that has made my health *worse.* Totally agree about listening to our own intuition and advocating for ourselves. Wishing you a successful surgery and speedy recovery! : - ) ❤

[@mildredbangtree]

@@bellaluce7088 Wow! that sounds very similar. We should start a support group :). When I saw the title of this Ramani video I was hoping it would be about physical manifestations going in the other direction. She does cover this in the book under health affects of being subjected to the stress of these relationships. The nuance of confusing co-occuring issues is what would be nice to hear her expound on. What you say about emotional eating is similar...I also did that and have since corrected. Finding this issue was in fact part of doing one thing at a time for things that I have control over. There is still quite a list! 🙂

[@bellaluce7088]

​@@mildredbangtree Thank goodness this comments section is a kind of support group. : - ) Good for you for getting a handle on the emotional eating! Tackling all the after-effects of abuse takes time and guts but it's worth it! 😃 Good wishes to you! 🍀❤

[@jeanie5074]

The eyes are the window to the soul

[@kat-75]

that is a myth. and a lie.

[@tlove6932]

A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y True! 💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯

[@tlove6932]

​@@kat-75No it's not. It's TRUE.

[@ashleychavarria3116]

No, it isn’t entirely true. Not in the beginning, anyway. If it were that simple for most of us, we would have never gotten into the relationships that we did. We would have seen into the soul…and left, quickly.

[@DzsM-rz7gu]

How they repeat our sentences in many different variation with another meanings with a big smile on their faces. I reacted a lot on that attitude. Not anymore,they cannot be me anyway,they cannot be anybody else,only themselves.

[@QueenBX246]

Omg....this right here. I thought I was the crazy one

[@deanreinerart8764]

THAT is how it is everyday all day any day here for me. Pretty much everything I say is repeated back to me as a massive distortion of my truth. THAT is the first effort at gaslighting me, using my own words but distorted and then fed back to me. When that fails she resorts to rage and that’s not working so much anymore. It’s why we can rarely have even the most benign “conversation”. The fact is that ANY conversation will be converted to HER conversation. Period. It all devolves into a negative feedback loop and revolves in what I call the “immature emotional cul-de-sac”. That’s where I live and there’s just no way out, nothing realistic. Not at this point at least. But someday somehow I’ll be free.

[@beverlyadams7205]

@@deanreinerart8764 I felt the same way about my daughter. I lived with her for three years. I was 70. Her generosity to me by letting me live with her quickly devolved into how can I belittle and bully my mother in every possible way. After going to a very dark place, in spirit, I began to see a therapist and finally moved out into a senior apartment. I have not spoken to my daughter in 17 months. I am busy finding out who I am after a lifetime of abuse by mother, husbands, children, friends. the peace I enjoy now is practically indescribable.

[@lt827]

Breaking eye contact can include the narcissist turning away from you and walking away. Very dismissive.

[@MsGlitterBombz]

The eye contact thing!!!!! I kept telling people how the last narcs I was with, they couldn't look me in the eye!! I even told one of them, "you can't even look me in the eye! Look at me"... And he just couldn't. It was so weird! Thank you for the validation.

[@jofann7370]

😂😅😢

[@rosieposey2525]

The scowl expressed by forehead/eyebrows which instantly relax when they become aware it's time to straighten their false mask that does slip more than they like. Beware the scowl and quick change to smile demeanor

[@lynnebucher6537]

Ron DeSantis, to a T!

[@remarkable937]

People are always saying the narc is usually good looking. The thing about my ex is that he wasn't good looking at all. He looked exactly like Homer Simpson just in flesh color 😵‍💫. The only explanation I have is something a male friend said, "He's got really good game." With him it was all words and demeaner that for some inexplicable reason draws in women like flies. It is like he talks you into thinking of him as attractive and a great catch when he is anything but that. It really is bizarre when I think about it.

[@Kenzofeis]

I have noticed this so many times, even the stupidest ugliest losers can, because they see themselves as attractive/have no thought of the opposite, come across as "attractive" - it is a type of hypnosis, animalistic .. something, ohhh, what is that term. Anyway suggestive in a convincing way because they themselves are not in doubt (a Dunning-Kruger effect phenomenom).

[@jofann7370]

It's called the Jezebel spirit... The spirit of Perversion it's demonic All Spiritual 😢

[@lisalambert81865]

Growing up and up until 2019 I couldn’t look people in the eye when I spoke and couldn’t speak about my emotions openly.

[@loveoneanother881]

Dead eyes. The light is missing. My adult son's blue eyes are now dark.

[@talonsarise]

I've noticed that too in my adult son. Scary.

[@lynnebucher6537]

Aileen Wuornos eyes. No soul in there anymore.

[@susanturner9023]

My husbands eyes do that too. They are normally brown but when he’s angry they go black. And I leave the room or even the house!

[@covert_warrior]

I'm not a narcissist and struggle with eye contact due to autism and severe trauma

[@sarahkay8784]

In the middle of a week long fight, I finally broke down and begged him to please just tell me what to do. What to say. I would do anything he wanted just to stop the push and pull. I saw a gleam in his eye. He pulled me into an embrace and I realized he was sexually excited by my upset. Looking back at old pictures I see the smug look on his face, the way he carried himself. I thought that was because he spent 20 years in the military but it was an attitude.

[@jofann7370]

😂😅😢

[@BuckEboo]

The problem I see for autistic people is they are often not one to make eye contact but it’s anxiety in general and not lying. This would explain why autistic are mis-labeled as narcissist.

[@VanessaDayleRaeWaggoner]

Lying is the only way I have found to make a hard distinguishing difference between autism and narcissism, and I’ve been really digging hard, trying to figure out my husband…

[@OK-qd9lj]

Dr. Ramani, you are a hero. You change so many lives. Thank you for everything you do

[@Peaceful903]

❤❤❤❤you helped me get through my day to day life & bought your book too

[@audbaltzersenrameckers8832]

Wow...I heard about my eyebrows from my mother. She said when you were born it looked like someone had painted eyebrows on you...really? She is so sick. She thinks she is an artist/painter and mocked her dead brother for being an artist. He was a true painter, kind and sucsessful. I got bullied when I was 7 years old from older girls because of my eyebrows. They held me and rubbed them saying why do you wear makeup. I was 7...makeup? I hated my eyebrows after that. Men have commented on my eyebrows and huge "bedroom" brown eyes since my teens. Made me anxious and sick 🤮 My sister in law always has the grandios gifts....🙃 I am so done with family and looking for a trauma therapist. But I do feel the functional neurological treatment for my ADHD is beneficial for anxiety and depression as well. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani ❤

[@user-fr8ki2ug2l]

The eyes turning black when they are gaslighting or lying to you!

[@sandyhenry3238]

Normal conversation or out to dinner he looks through me never at me

[@jennifermcilwain5095]

Dang..... now you got me not wanting to fill in my eye brows any more lol they fell out during my pregnancy and I'm self conscious 😅

[@susannay.3437]

I think it's ok, lol, to take care with your makeup routine. I don't mess that much with my brows...but I think I should. 🥴

[@rmoo6117]

I'm sure you're fine. 😊 I have brow insecurities, too... I'm just going for not looking like a muppet. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[@jennifermcilwain5095]

@susannay.3437 I went for years without filling them in lol but one day I was in ulta and I had the sweetest person show me the benefit eyebrow pencil and I fell in loovvveee with having groomed eye brows 🫶 I love the nyx pencils too ❤️ if you're looking for a brand that's great with great prices, nyx is the way to go. Benefit is sooo expensive 🫠 but so wonderful! Thank you for taking a second to tell me that 🥹 I do not want to ever be like the people that hurt me, or be perceived to be someone that could hurt others easily 🫤

[@appaloosa42]

Find an alternative endocrinologist… in any case get your thyroid checked, lost eyebrows is the first sign of low thyroid!

[@jennifermcilwain5095]

19:09 as soon as mine doesn't want to talk, he will hyperfixate on something else like a game and then say, "YOU KNOW I CAN'T PAY ATTENTION TO YOU AND THE GAME!"

[@bibidiaz9282]

Wow! He straight up dismisses you. He is showing you his true colors of a Narcissist a-hole.

[@eileenschubach8202]

I'm listening to this with such intent, but I'm so happy you said "not the far away look, you get when people are being thoughtful". I often look away when I'm trying to express something of meaning and choosing the correct words that I want to use when I'm expressing something that's weighted. My ex used to say..."Ah you're looking away...you know what that means"🫤😳🤦🏻‍♀️

[@lynnebucher6537]

Nearly identical experience between my ex and me. Especially, as it turns out, he was data gathering by asking a lot of sensitive personal questions in a rapid fire fashion.

[@betina1354]

I have ADHD as well as severe PTSD. One of my 'Stress ticks' is picking at my eye brows and shaping them.... On another note, reading the answers before me, made my stomach vomitus and my brain dizzy and start to White out. (Gag) I super appreciate you Dr Ramani. I can only watch you in little tidbits, because of the stress it causes, but I am sooo thankful to know that you are able to explain and dissect the 'Crazy' that has been my entire 54 years of life.

[@ricalina4371]

And when the narc insists on dressing their 50+ year old children, it gets really grotesk….

[@jofann7370]

Hahaha

[@sarikasingh6537]

In my case its my father

[@why55555]

I'm now reviewing the behavior of Resident Aides I worked with who would compliment me on my "eyebrows being on point". I was Clinic Nurse in huge Jewish Assisted Living Facility for the Wealthy & it was my job to check on residents recently discharged from hospitals or having new health issues needing higher level of monitoring there. Some Aides were so complimentary to me that it really looks suspicious now that I'm learning more about Narcissists around me & their obvious behaviors. My Nurse Supervisors were Covert Narcissists WAY too often, lol.😎

[@kimkayoda7454]

Thank you again! I actually found this hilarious thinking back to the STBX, like all of your points to recognize a narcissist, he did this constantly. Back then I justified it as him being so busy and had his thoughts elsewhere even though I knew that good eye contact denoted that I was being heard and understood and that the other person was an honest human being. Again, I recognize that I did not pay attention to my gut and feelings, the somatic discomforts you discussed prior. Sigh, I have a long way to go before I can declare myself ok and healed; sometimes I feel it will never happen so I work on that! Thank you, Dr. Ramani.

[@erinward2983]

Even when struggling financially, my narc parent spent extra time/money on his appearance and expensive cologne. (not food). He’d make fun of me before school if my outfit didn’t match. He bragged about his popularity in school and getting the prettiest girls. Both his wives were stunningly beautiful. But once he had my mom, he expected her to work, cook, clean, care for me, and serve him. She worked double shifts, pregnant with twins, while he nursed hangovers. She paid babysitters to watch me.

[@tontay-wp6tm]

So sad sounds like ur mum is a lovely woman, so deserves much better treatment

[@sandracaezza7234]

I looked back at some photos. I would say yes the eyebrows but now 16 months no contact I also see the lines between the brows. His lines are fear, shame anger ( that’s a big one) and deception. I recently saw a photo of him now, he had gotten new eyewear. The glasses had a solid dark frame right above the brow. A look even more sinister. My look ? I’m told you look 20 yrs younger ! Freedom,gratitude & blessings everyday. Ty Dr R for my daily renewal👍🏻💪🏻

[@moniquejackson7741]

Brilliant compilation of videos and fantastic reminders. Thank you!

[@ninjakitteh9095]

Not a narc. Will say this though... Because of personal trauma, it is hard to look people in the eyes when my feelings get big (whether they're big happy feelings or big angry/sad whatever) I'll be there with you, then the big feeling is there and i usually have to look down either at the table or floor to regroup and reground myself so i can be there functionally. (Eye contact is tricky biz. Some cultures it's rude, some its imperative... So. I'd keep this one in the back of the mind, and notice the pattern, maybe even ask about the pattern (asking before someone who's bad for you really connects is a good idea). Cuz I'll tell you straight up, hey, i got this thing. And yeah. See how they answer. The flavor of that will tell you a lot)

[@lisalacroix7906]

My 70 yr old highly narcissistic husband trims his eyebrows and nose hair every couple of days. I've always thought it was strange. Even when he says he has no money, he also gets his hair cut regularly at an expensive salon and gets his truck detailed professionally,very costly. It's all about his ego. He needs to "look" good, no matter what.

[@AllStarShell6168]

Yes, I've noticed a prominent aversion to making eye contact when they were on a tangent. Which was more often than not.

[@CCANGEL333]

Eye contact can be an issue in Autism as well. Also, when describing a narc that doesn't make eye contact when disrespecting someone, a narc might be able to stare you in the eyes while disrespecting you could mean psychopath I am thinking.

[@Thedisgardedoptimist]

That's why you're the top of the hit parade Dr.R, you keep up with the latest info...thanks for sharing and the hard work...💜☮️

[@elanaseger2868]

When taking pictures makes a surprise type of look. Dead giveaway he did something ❤❤❤

[@judysteyn4076]

Wow! Very fascinating!

[@KatarinaBergstrom-ti1vn]

Really interesting! What is a bit confusing is that people from the middle east normally have very strong eyebrows and they are of course not more narcissistic. But I can agree with people with groomed eyebrows may be more narcissistic, it takes time and money to have those done ;)

[@RicK-qn2dn]

For me being the victim, it got so bad i couod not look her in the eyes. Not when she was demeaning me, ripping me a new one, eating a meal or playing a board game. Fear, lack of any respect, only behind closed doors of course. In the end it changed me so much that i could not communicate to anyone anymore. So i clammed up. Hopefully changing my behavior this year. Gray rocking and not shareing with her any feelings. Its working, i feel better.

[@AM-td2mh]

The joy in their eyes when you react to their taunting is sick. The lack of eye contact ....actually closing his eyes.... when he talks to me is disturbing.

[@IanM-id8or]

That makes sense. The function of eyebrows is to convey emotional state. That's why people often can't understand the emotional state of cats - cats don't have eyebrows

[@emilyhoward6538]

A “Duper’s Delight” smile.

[@Thatgirl42able]

The eyes and the eyebrows. My nar ex always went up when he was lying or processing information.

[@user-km2tf1kf6z]

Thank you doc Raman about the eyes and eyebrows, you explain things so well!!

[@theunwantedman112]

I am hoping that you do a video about 'Sanpaku' and how the eyes are a like a keyhole to peak through, briefly exposing the mendacious intent writ upon the mind of a narcissist.

[@psalm148.1]

Re: 13:39 and lying + no eye contact... this understanding in psychology doesn't seem to take into consideration those on the Autism spectrum. Not looking someone in the eyes is on the list of characteristics of Aspergers and for my son looking people straight in the eye while talking to them has been a struggle since birth. I've always had the same problem my whole life and was categorized & judged because of this "tell tale sign" of lying & narcissism. We've both worked on maintaining eye contact but we do have to make an effort. So this blanket statement may have some of us judged and categorized for something we struggle with and have had to train ourselves to do against our nature - looking people in the eyes while talking to them.

[@marloverrilla1272]

Narcs talk really fast too…in my perspective. And yes, they don’t look you in the eye. Big arrows point to them now!

[@littlekali9728]

Not looking someone in the eyes is also a symptom of being abused by a narcissist. Mine would bully me until I backed down or looked away. Now I live with paranoia that everyone will think I’m dishonest or a narcissist just because I’m terrified of eye contact (and being chastised or told I’m wrong)

[@waywardstitch8604]

DrR: "You almost feel lucky that they ARE paying attention to you." And if you don't seem like you consider yourself lucky, i.e., if you don't seem impressed with them, or if you're not falling for their charm, not buying what they're selling, the narc might haughtily ask, "Do you know how many women(men) WISH I would pay attention to them???" Which is distinctly a "mask-drop" moment. 🤭🤪

[@martinendiakimel]

Thank you for this video!!!!

[@lucianaioanasoare8905]

When the narcisist rage his eyes become diabolic and they don't blink. They watch through you

[@graceb3934]

My mother literally stated, multiple times, that when she had me (and my sister), she thought it was like having dolls. She also said, many years ago, that when I stopped giving her affection she wondered what she had done wrong. Never mind the fact that she never expressed or instigated affection towards me. she is most definitely borderline/ narcissistic

[@TheLove1Makes]

This is very good thanks. Dr Ramani

[@jeancooper7953]

This info is great!!

[@fiction589]

Feelin a bit guilty now, for having well-groomed brows 😂 no really, the brows are the frame for the eyes. Like a picture frame, they are soooo important for looking classy and like you take good care of yourself. It makes a big difference. But of course, there are more important things than good looks and being attractive. So I am not a full blown narcicisist, I assume 😅 I am of Italian heritage and I believe that for women with dark body hair, brows may have more importance than they have for blondes. Living in northern Germany, most blondes I know couldnt care less, because they dont have to. Some even colour their brows and lashes brown. No Unibrow alarm, no Frida Kahlo look possible for them. 🤣 So I wonder if the study was well diversified.

[@sweetie932]

Dr Ramani , “ welcome back “ to UConn , thank you 👍🏾

[@flyincosmo9356]

This was a phenomenon I experienced for decades and this was an enduring dynamic that always befuddled me; highly covert narcissist partner always shifted her eye contact either above and to the left or right of my eyeline. Continued, in spite of periodically asking her why when it happened.

[@judithcarre4196]

Excellent video!! I got an engagement ring from my boyfriend who told me the ring demonstrated his success, and that I should insure it for more than my yearly income. Exactly how you describe it. All for show. I gave it back three months later.

[@roamnomo6333]

How about when they're sick or have a person crisis it's all about them and everyone in the circle or at the party is called to the pity huddle while the narcissist is crying and everyone outside the huddle is cringing. Then when one of their closest and ardent allies falls gravely ill they're completely uninvolved and when confronted about the hypocrisy they say: "That's why I got out of nursing. I'm not a caretaker. That doesn't make me a terrible person." My sister told me that yesterday when I brought it up after I nearly died and was hospitalized for weeks. It required open surgery. She was my emergency contact and beneficiary of my assets. It's as if she's AI or HR and doesn't want to be bothered by other people. She was my closest relative and my little sister. She changed from sweet to invalidating after I got sick. Now I'm pissed and went off on her and we're done, as well as my narcissistic brother who is worse than she is. He was the Golden Child, she was the only girl and middle child and I the oldest and the Scapegoat.

[@RedStorm.]

I've watched Narcessists , grow up from birth, and I believe they are born that way in at least 75% of the time. The rest are taught that one way or another. The born narcissists, get validation in their ways, and learn it works; continuing for life.

[@juliegiles334]

Facinating!

[@nadeenanayakkara3645]

Thank you Dr. Ramani!! This is just an extra validation I got from listening to all the points you shared. My ex-husband wanted me to always wear dresses and bought me dresses though there were so many other things I liked. And him and his mom spend soo much on getting hair treatment. And his sister and mom invest so much on cosmetics and branded clothing. And spend so much time in the gym and so good at body shaming and name calling others. And his father has the contemptuous eyebrow. My exhausted hardly made eye contact until I pointed out that to him and still looks away. It was so fascinating to hear you explain all those physical manifestations which are spot on and helped me validate that my ex-husband and his entire family are narcissistic. It’s a a narsistic family system. I’m trying so hard to teach empathy and make my child a more mentally strong and a healthy person. But my biggest fear is that if it’s genetical…. If so, how do I help him to be a healthier human? 🙏

[@karencloutier3236]

One problem is the labeling of someone who is narcissistic ends up being brushed off as an overused term and not taken seriously. I’ve found if it’s softened with saying we all have narcissistic traits but each is at different areas on that spectrum.

[@misottovoce]

I have come across that problem as well. However, I say all of us may be selfish on occision and this is human. Narcissists have consistant patterns that are always present. I always try to make the point about 'acceptable-normal' selfishness and narcissism. I leave the word 'spectrum' to conversations about narcissists. Personally, I would not chose 'trait'...which sounds permanent (narcs)...being selfish sometimes for whatever reason is not. Exactly for that reason you pointed out about narcissim being an overused term, that I try to make people aware that narcissim and occasional 'not nice' is not interchanageable.

[@grantsutherland6798]

Jack Black and Sarah Huckabee-Sanders come to mind 😂

[@MichaelBroder]

Eye roll!!! And just kind of staring at me without saying anything

[@Susan-hg3rw]

When i decide which video to watch on my morning walk, eyebrows through them all and jusr pick one.

[@morgainnejade]

Regarding eye contact or lack thereof: a dog will look away when they know they've done wrong, a snake will look you right in the eye.

[@darkcloudrider359]

I appreciate all I have learned form you but I really wish you would talk more about vulnerable narcissists that is what I am dealing with. I think it has been a long time since yo addressed those.

[@GidgetSwim72]

My first guess was eyebrows based on my experience with my ex husband.

[@mariehughey5390]

I can’t recall eye contact with my mother, ever. My sister…looking down and always turning her bad behavior somehow into her being victimized. The statement that was the beginning of the end for my exnarc spouse…”I haven’t looked at you in a month.” Eye contact. No eye contact.

[@Hannah-eq5ff]

My mother grabbed my eyebrows and plucked them like crazy. My eyebrows were thick. She plucked them so thin i was unrecognizable. I was not happy. She tried to make me look like her in everyway. She colored my hair blonde, thin eyebrows.

[@Freedom-25-now]

Omg my narc husband has these amazing arched eyebrows. He's so handsome but so dangerous

[@sarit2023]

Very interesting eyebrows 😅 it does seem very real!

[@EphemeralProductions]

So strange and interesting! ❤

[@gregereaut545]

Everytime i think i have learnt about all there is to know about this subject and my last relationship, something else pops up. I have bushy eye brows and i have a little machine that i get out and just skim across them, job done short eyebrows. But my narcissistic partner who really looked after her eyebrows made it a bit of a big deal that i have to start looking after mine and she took it upon herself to manicure and make sure my eyebrows were always nice. Wow. eyebrows. who a thought.

[@burcumarias]

Hello Dr. Ramani, tha ks for all the videos. Did you see Baby Reindeer? Maybe make a video on that one?

[@trishconlin173]

I’d like to hear your comments about Baby Reindeer also. Just watched it recently.

[@TheBhopali1]

Oh you look so gorgeous!!

[@nicholasschroeder3678]

This one freaks me out😩 I'm in my early 60s, and I've messed around with my brows--plucked out the white hairs, and over time it's significantly thinned them out. But dying them looks crazy, leaving them alone and I turn into Andy Rooney. Is this terrible, narcissistic vanity? I've never had anyone comment on them, or noticed any scrutiny. I just think it makes me look better. It's really the only grooming I do; well, I hit the the hairs on the ears too. I just felt it was the best of bad solutions. I'm lucky in that I still have all my hair, and women like the white. I don't want the Mark of the Narc!😩😂

[@GellaHumbug59]

Dark eyebrows with white hair can be dashing-think Sam Elliott, Paul Newman, Victor Garber, Ralph Lauren. Don’t be afraid to try out getting your eyebrows dyed, if you feel adventurous. But be willing to spring for an experienced esthetician. Your female boomer friends will probably be able to give you a good recommendation. Have fun! 🥸

[@nicholasschroeder3678]

​@@GellaHumbug59❤