Pixar's Float: How Can We Do Better Introducing Autism?

Is Float on Disney+ a good metaphor for autism? Let's talk about autism, diagnosis and parenting!
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Pixar's Loop: State of the media about disabled people • Pixar's Loop: Good Aut...
Autism Organizations Shown:
Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN): autisticadvocacy.org/
Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network: awnnetwork.org/
The Aspergian: theaspergian.com/
Thinking Person's Guide to Autism: www.thinkingautismguide.com/
Related reading:
reframingautism.wordpress.com...
#AutismAwareness #Autism #DisneyPlus #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance

[@a.w.e.5263]

This, this is why I am an openly autistic autism therapist. I talk about the possitivities neurodiversity can bring I talk about finding appropriate services for your child to assure they can reach their potential without burnout. I explain the dangers of burnout and masking and while the therapy I do provide is still called ABA it is not like the states see it. The biggest part of the narrative should be the child's I have had parents try to push for masking, try to remove all stims and focus on visible signs of disability and I'm looking at the parents like no, I'm going to help your child learn how to eat, I'm going to help them dress themselves, potty training and some form of communication I'm not going to sweep these real issues under the rug because you think it's more important they can sit in a chair perfectly still for an hour, they can hold a pencil correctly. I have honestly had parents say they don't care if their child needs a feeding tube and diapers forever provided I "cure" their autism its one of the grossest things I have faced. I think we need to push the narrative to the child, talk to autistic adults and get more autistic adults involved with autistic youth. I am the only openly autistic therapist in my area. I know of 1 autistic primary school teacher and 2 respite workers in my area aswell... I live in one of the most populated areas of my country!

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It means so much to know someone like you is out there helping kids how they actually need. I wish I could say I was surprised about some parents responding that way. At some point I plan to more fully address ABA in a video. I know that there are therapies that will call themselves ABA for insurance purposes etc. I am so glad to see more like yourself openly autistic people in these fields to help.

[@ForgeMondes]

Wow, I have no words besides a big and kind thank you ❤

[@a.w.e.5263]

@Föøp honestly it is fun but not a job to be taken lightly. Most the kids I work with haven't had good experiences with people trying to get them to learn so getting hit, bit, concussed, hair pulled out, peed or pooed on is completely normal but I wouldn't trade my job for anything 😅

[@kristenyarbrough4287]

What is your official job title? I would like to know more about it. Also is there therapy for autistic adults that is not centered on masking and more for emotional wellbeing?

[@a.w.e.5263]

@@kristenyarbrough4287 my official job title is instructor therapist. As for adult services they are very slim. There are some services for job training, social skills and basic needs. Unfortunately most adult services I've ever encountered are mainly targeted to individuals with little to no functional skills so even the job training is just repetitive menial labour. One of the centers I used to work at had an adult building and some of the adults were trained to work in the Cafe.

[@treasuretvjackson8018]

I like how Float shows the child is crying, the media shows how hard it is for the parent but I worry they don't show how hard it is for the child or how the child may feel.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Yes! It is so rare to hear about things from the child's perspective.

[@treasuretvjackson8018]

@@QuestingRefuge I remember I wanted to make a story from the point of view of a child who couldn't: See, hear (seemingly), talk, and has no arms or legs. She was kidnapped and harmed for something her mom said to a man after the man killed her son brutally and he felt bad about it and because she was angry at him she intentionally made him feel worse, which caused the leader to take her 9 month old and disable the baby girl. I wanted to see her point of view, just to show. I wanted to challenge the ideas of euthanization. Honestly if she was a baby she won't remember, she'll have thought. Her mother used special ways to teach her about life and help her learn. Because eventually modern ways approached the medical field her mom got her new eyes. Her ears were cut off but not her eardrums pierced, so she could hear well. The story uses her thought, as her tongue was cut off. she may make sounds and try to speak but she can't, and this causes family to feel sorry for her but she wonders why except for the obivious when it comes to speech because she has never known anything different, she does feel like she wants the things she doesn't have but honestly never dotes on it. her mom knows about eardrums and came to the conclusion that she should have feeling and hearing so she played music for her and would make stories and bible stuff in brail and would teach her how to read by placing it on her stomach and spelling out the words and even placing individual letters and trying her best to put it in simple terms, sounding it out and thought out how to teach her through sound and feel in a way that'd help her read anything.

[@treasuretvjackson8018]

@@QuestingRefuge It's hard to make a story like this.

[@treasuretvjackson8018]

@@QuestingRefuge It's called Severely Disabled Child

[@treasuretvjackson8018]

@@QuestingRefuge When she gets eyes, she can finally see, no need for brail and practice reading on her stomach, she practices it in a way for fun. Her mom does it in case of the need for it again. Just in case. She ended up learning what the things she sees are, she often like to talk to others through brail by motioning as her mom taught her, you see her mom would move her head around and often ask her to do it herself like how it felt or like that, sometimes she'd do something different but her mom would say "Yes" and consider it a way to do it, others she'd try to make her do it exactly so that she'd be able to know how to move her arm in certain ways, she learned how to teach blind people things and etc. and really tries her best to be a good mom.

[@SoAS26]

I have Dyslexia. And well ..when I was in second grade. I remember my mom crying and telling me ' I cannot believe you are my child' because I couldn't spell 3 letter words. Well...I took it to heart and really thought I had to fix myself because there is something really wrong with me. I felt so betrayed and so shocked. And worked super hard. I'm currently studying law. And she is always like...oh I was just worried about you and I get that but well....I never got the 'sorry'. So I understand what you mean.

[@totallynotapersonlol]

Thank you for sharing this comment 😭😭😭 ❤️ I can relate as well 😭❤️

[@SoAS26]

@@totallynotapersonlol awww ❤️❤️❤️

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you so much for sharing that. I'm so sorry you experienced that and your mom didn't hear what you needed. It can be so hard to shake those doubts once they're implanted. There was nothing you ever needed to fix and I hope you find what you're doing now fulfilling and doing it for you.

[@SoAS26]

@@QuestingRefuge thank you so much for such a kind reply. Yes I am trying to figure out who I really am, since I just shifted from my home last year. I have a deep fear of disappointing people, I think that's based on my childhood. But I am learning to be true to myself :)

[@TrueLadyEvilChan]

Woah this just opened up an old memory of one teacher in preschool getting upset because I wasn't solving the math problems the way she wanted me to, and wasn't "fast enough", but I was getting the right answers... My parents told me it was something to be celebrated that I figured out a different one than explained to me. Instead my teacher "mocked" me for it. I'm glad that didn't happen anymore, but I still had issues with teachers, and it was usually the science or math teachers, my worst subjects.

[@gabrielbanuelos5306]

Me and my brother were diagnosed with Autism at a young age. Our family was very religious so we were considered a punishment from God, the only people that loved us for who we were was our own parents. That scene where the father yells "why can't you just be normal" really hits me hard.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I am so sorry you had some of your own family use religion in such a way. That sounds horrible. No one deserves that. I'm glad your parents were there for you. I hope you've both found others who love and accept you as well!

[@PyroGothNerd]

That actually goes directly against the Bible. Jesus straight up tells his apostles that, despite what everyone seems to think, a blind man is not being punished, but rather he is blind for his own learning experience. (John 9: 1-12) Anyone who sees disabled people as "punishment from God" is actually committing blasphemy.

[@pokaay3163]

The amount of times I’ve seen Christianity be used as an excuse to discriminate against and be satisfied with a lack of understanding for those with different circumstances, is frankly nauseating. As a Christian, it’s one of the few things I hate the most. We’re all human and we all make mistakes, but some seem to think (or want to think) that they have some divine right to belittle others because the man on the moon said it was against his playground rules.

[@tiamystic]

HOLY SHI-

[@Ilikebugs2464]

@@PyroGothNerd that's pretty based

[@TrueLadyEvilChan]

I have autism. I was diagnosed 4 years ago. I'm 19 now. For the longest time, I thought I was broken. When I couldn't do certain things, I couldn't cut my own food, I physically can't operate most machinery, I couldn't tie my own shoelaces, I had issues showering my own head... I'm not good at math or science, (apparently those with autism are good at those), and I'm not very graceful or athletic... My parents and my brother thought I was a "drama queen". Or I stalling on purpose about getting ready for bed or having to go on a trip. Or pretending to not know how to cut food or tie my shoes because of "laziness". My teachers often thought I wasn't trying, or didn't care, or was some sort of trouble maker. One teacher accused me of staying home "for fun" when I had a really bad stomach ache; which I'm sure you know, people with autism tend to have more gastrointestinal issues and amplified stomach pain... For my last three school years my family and the teachers grew to be more accepting, and patient. Even now my mom and dad are trying to remember that I don't see the world as they do. My brother is very understanding though. Amongst autism I also have social anxiety, Developmental coordination "disorder", scoliosis, light sensitivity, ectodermal dysplasia, etc I'm learning to cope with who I am, in spite of me still having days where I curse myself, have regret over things that happened years ago, sometimes feeling worthless or like I don't deserve to live, but something always keeps me from wanting to die. Like making sure I finish writing stories and play the next video game or old games I missed out on. I remember when I was young, I asked my mom "why would anyone want to kill themselves?" A couple years before I was diagnosed, those words from an innocent child shot back to me, as I considered taking my own life, wondering if anyone would really miss me. All my friends had left me for other friends, and I remained excluded. I was too nervous to ask why they stopped hanging out with me, especially after I was abused by a bully in one group... I stopped trying. He pointed out how broken I was. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this comment to be this long but I just found this and heard about you and I wanted to pour my life out, n the comment section. Maybe a bad idea, but I'm very emotional. This was my introduction to Float, and that "why can't you just be normal" fuckin broke me, and as I just typed that now I got tears in mt eyes again. Thank you for posting, buddy.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so grateful that you would share this. I can relate to a lot of it as I was diagnosed as an adult and it made a lot more sense of things. It sounds like you're starting to get some acceptance now and I am so grateful to hear that and hope that means you will have an easier time going forward. This world will make you feel like you're always supposed to be able to do more. Things don't have to be this hard. I have hope for our systems to change. You are good enough right now. You're not alone.

[@firefry5415]

Dude, I’m really sorry to hear all of this has happened to you. I hope your doing better now and please stay safe. I send you my best wishes ☺️💕.

[@RColbert]

Thank you for sharing. As someone who didn't get diagnosed with autism until his 40's, I want you to know that you are not "broken" and we are not something that needs to be "fixed." Everyone, neurotypical ("normal") or not, is special in some way and society needs to find ways to help us identify our strengths & weaknesses in non-judgmental & loving ways.

[@D3z1n3r]

Dear Robin- There is no normal. We are all a bundle of different emotional and physical issues, regardless of how perfect a front we maintain in public. The courage and honesty of your post is a testament to just how much you have to offer. I wish you great joy and love. If you ever feel hopeless or overwhelmed, I hope you read this response and it brings you at least a little boost.

[@jackriver8385]

You're not alone. I was diagnosed when I was 14, and at some point I was depressed suicidal, and hated myself for not being able to be normal. Society does this to us by constantly amplifying the things we're struggling with, instead of letting us explore the things we're good at. I'm 27 now, I've finally fully embraced my autism, knowing that without it I wouldn't be me, and I find joy in exploring my special interests such as crochet and music. You're not broken and I hope you never feel that way again. This world just isn't made for us and that is not our fault. Let's build a better one ❤

[@sfmhero0127]

Float honestly drew my attention because 17 years of my life, I have had an older brother with non-verbal autism, who has never been able to communicate. Now he is able to communicate through typing and a letter board, revealing his hilarious personality. I love him so much 💕😭

[@QuestingRefuge]

That is so great to hear! I bet he is happy as well having an easier way to communicate with others.

[@totallynotapersonlol]

I love this comment 😭😭❤️

[@kaishawna3753]

It's nice to see other options of communication being accepted. The brother was able to communicate through behaviors. It may not have been verbal, but it was communication nonetheless. I'm happy as an autistic black woman that autism is starting to be more acknowledged.

[@snaining2054]

I too have an older non-verbal autistic brother! that’s a pretty interesting coincidence happy to read that you get along with him well! on our side, we’re going through a pretty tough time regarding my brother, he’s slowly learning to communicate but it’s still really hard to be around him, with all the messes in the kitchen (he really likes baking and cooking), to always running downstairs at midnight, and the occasional bit of violence (he’s tall, fit, and very scary sometimes) but this comment does give me hope that things will get better and he’ll hopefully mellow out

[@Losjo4093]

Wow that is so Nice to hear

[@shelbysilverstein]

When the father said, “Why can’t you be normal!” it made me so angry that I cried 😢

[@QuestingRefuge]

Just thinking about it can get me worked up!

[@monkeyscientist9913]

The fact that any parent would consider saying that is effed up. My parents never asked that question, but I did all the time. Growing up with Asperger's, I would look at all the kids around me and wonder why I can't be normal like them. Then I became an adult and realized that it was better to be my own person and not worry about what's considered "normal". However, a parent asking that can f**k a kid up for life or even put them in therapy for a while. No kid, especially the REALLY small ones should ever be asked that by a parent. Let's be real, there's no normal in this life: There's just being you and you alone. That's the only normal someone should give a shit about.

[@QuestingRefuge]

@@monkeyscientist9913 well said!

[@bananatiergod]

I think the worst part about this is that the dad was clearly horrified at what he did. He didn't want to hurt the kid and he was clearly going through serious burnout, but everyone has a breaking point and he reached his in the worst way possible.

[@katztoffelbrei6780]

I said it to my son and I also cry everytime about this scene, because of shame and guilt. I'm also autistic, but I know it just since less months. I was also a child like him, I was also yelled and I'm also ableist like The society I've grown up. It's not an excuse. I was awful mother in this moment. I feel very sorry about it and I hope my son will remember the "sorry" more than the "why you can't be just normal?"

[@anforet6203]

Thank you for touching a little on how the "early intervention" and ABA therapies are abusive. As an autistic person myself, nothing makes me sadder than seeing parents trying to "fix" their kid. This is a great video ^u^

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you! I was so glad to have found the autistic community before we heard some of the standard things.

[@totallynotapersonlol]

Agreed. There's nothing to fix, we aren't broken. We need acceptance

[@NatureLover-pj2qe]

I went through ABA as a toddler but I don’t remember it.

[@GabyGeorge1996]

@@NatureLover-pj2qe same...I think.

[@yotsubafanfan]

I went through ABA not long after I was diagnosed at a few months old so I have zero memory of it. I used to hide my Autism but I'm a lot more open to it. And in the coming months I am going to gather the courage to ask our mayor to update Autism awareness month to Autism Awareness and Acceptance month.

[@dormant.channel]

There’s another Sparkshort called “Loop”, I don’t know if it’s on KZbin or Disney+, but the girl in it is canonically autistic. From what I’ve seen it’s actually a really good short...

[@QuestingRefuge]

Loop is great! Planning next video about it!

[@sed9385]

@@QuestingRefuge YEEEEEEEES! I really want to know more about Autism and because its a spectrum, its really hard to pin down, and I wanted to find many more ways to understand it as much as i could.

[@QuestingRefuge]

@@sed9385 yeah in some ways the attempt to pin it down in labels can cause issues in itself. The experiences are so unique for everyone. This is where the idea of neurodiversity I think is so important which is even broader than autism. Hope I am able to provide any insight along the way!

[@jadenyuki3138]

Whats the ring tone she plays?

[@ivonnesaysmiau]

Loop? Masterpiece.

[@Emileigggggh]

We need way more artists telling personal stories like this, but especially from the pov of the actually autistic person instead of just the parents'! But it's also really refreshing to see an "autism parent" realize that they need to change and grow and not just force their kid to conform into what they want their kid to be.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Yeah if kids weren't forced to conform in general may be less of an issue!

[@ori0nnebula]

Great way of breaking this down. Good constructive criticism that focused on what is done well, as well as what can be improved.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thanks!

[@troin3925]

I thought this was going to be some edgy, anti-SJW "this is just a cheap marketing ploy," rant, good on you. I'm in the autism spectrum by the way (though more higher functioning).

[@QuestingRefuge]

@@troin3925 I'm glad you gave it a shot and enjoyed! I plan on doing more like this in the future although I won't be talking just about autism, although I'll likely mention it or similar things since I'm autistic as well.

[@echosbento]

I think something that always bothers me, as someone with asd, is how the parent is almost always framed as the victim. Like an autistic child isn't a human being going through all these struggles, and is instead a struggle put onto someone. You hear all these stories about how hard it is to have an autistic child, how much work it is, but rarely do you hear about how hard it is to have autism, how much work it is to have autism. Growing up my parents have been exactly the same, talking about how great they are for putting up with two autistic children, how difficult it was to raise us, but not once have they cared about how difficult everything is for us. When something is a huge trigger for us, we're seen as the problem, we're told we have to put up with it no matter how much it hurts. Sure making a neurotypical kid go to a fireworks show even though they don't want to is something society has normalized (I'd still argue you shouldn't be forcing your child to do anything they don't have to just because you want to do it) but making your autistic child go to that same show knowing full well that the sound of fireworks gives them panic attacks? That's abuse. The media treats autistic children as a burden, treats autism as something that needs to be fixed so that the parents can have a better life. But I am not broken. I am not a toy that needs to be fixed. I am a human being with my own feelings and my own problems and if you weren't prepared to raise a child with autism that is your fault not mine. They knew autism in our family was hereditary, they knew exactly how likely this was and they chose not to prepare. They planned to have me and my brother, and yet they're the victims. They're the ones who were saddled with an unnecessary burden. And me? I'm the burden. I'm not a person, I'm a sickness, something to look at as helpless. I grew up learning how to mask my autism instead of how to live with it. It doesn't matter how much an autistic kid is struggling if they can hide it well enough. It doesn't matter how much you're hurting if you can cry silently. Because an autistic kid is only worth something if they're also a genius. An autistic kid who isn't good as math is as worthwhile as a broken toy. They'd rather just cover us up and pretend we don't exist. tl;dr Having an autistic kid doesn't mean you're the victim, it means you're a parent who needs to support their autistic kid.

[@QuestingRefuge]

💯 agree! So sorry you have had to experience that

[@sofi-fr8ck]

I am not autistic, but I am neurodivergent, however I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 16 which led me to wonder my entire childhood what was so wrong with me, I always imitated my peers in order to act “normal”, but at home I was a completely different person, I always felt like the black sheep of my family and school... so this film really did hit very hard. Hearing those words from the father just felt like a punch to the face, and honestly I relate to the son when it comes to not hearing a “sorry”, even though your family moves on and starts to accept you, you never hear them finally admitting that they were wrong, it’s as if they don’t want to acknowledge it, and honestly that hurts even more. Overall I related to this film a lot, and I’m sure that is the case with many other people who grew up as not being part of the norm. I was already crying at the beginning of it :’)

[@QuestingRefuge]

I hope one day they are able to acknowledge that for you

[@Pixeltron13579]

I’m almost 17 and not officially diagnosed, but a psychiatrist and my counselor do think I have autism. I’ve always wondered what’s wrong with me. I feel like even other kids with special needs think I’m a problem.

[@isabellarobinson6082]

I'm 16, and I was only diagnosed with ASD and ADHD when I was 15.

[@sleeplessstudios7626]

I was diagnosed with basically everything before I turned 13. Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Bipolar at the age of 5. Then at age 11, I was diagnosed with depression; and at 12, anxiety. My parents definitely had moments like the "Why can't you just be normal?!".

[@QuestingRefuge]

I hope you've gotten some resources or found things that work for you now. Nothing wrong with the way you are! We just need better systems of understanding, acceptance and support.

[@sleeplessstudios7626]

@@QuestingRefuge Well, I was also given the gift of being born after 1999. So I did receive lots of help! I got the good kind of therapy, neurofeedback therapy (ask me about it. It's cool!) and proper medicine. I've been getting help for a while now. But now my parents are too worried about my brother to worry about me so I'm kinda falling behind here but I'm ok.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm glad to hear you've had access to better help. I've only seen a little on neurofeedback some of it looks promising. If you're willing to share about it I am very curious! My main question would be do you decide what gets worked on? Hoping for the best for you and your family!

[@sleeplessstudios7626]

@@QuestingRefuge Neurofeedback is where they put little sensors on my head and they sense my brainwaves. I sit there with them on and I watch a movie. If my brainwaves are too much or too low, the movie screen fades to a black. But as my waves get better, the movie turns back on. No electric shock. No pain. Just a movie, sensors, and goopy glue stuff so the sensors stick. It trains my brain to be better.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing!

[@alyx_aizawa5710]

Oh god the why cant you just be normal line hit me hard

[@alyx_aizawa5710]

OH

[@alyx_aizawa5710]

LOL

[@QuestingRefuge]

Like a truck.

[@Logitah]

@@QuestingRefuge You've been hit by- you've been struck by- truck! (Sorry, I had to!)

[@THE_PLAYER_ZER0]

Me too!

[@monkeyscientist9913]

The problem with this short is that the allegory falls apart due to one simple fact: The ability to float/fly is a SUPER POWER, not a disability. The thing about disabilities is that they can be a sort of super power in real-life. For example, Scatman John using his stuttering to teach himself how to scat-sing and it greatly improved his music as a result. Likewise, I use my extremely fertile imagination to write goofy and silly stories on the internet for fun. However, floating is an ACTUAL super-power. In any other story, this ability would be me with great applause from the parent. Hell, if I had a kid and he had the ability to float I'd be super proud of him. It's treated here as some kind of thing that would make a parent freak out. While this is more realistic, the fact that the father never really accepts his son's super power until the end is pretty effed up.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I could definitely see that. I think I like this more than the usual trope of the negative stuff is only accepted because of a found super power though. At least this shows more how messed up it is to not accept your child. When I first watched it I thought maybe they weren't going to show he could control it and "fly" but just actually float which could be scary if you just floated away. I think I was just trying to be optimistic though.

[@alicesacco9329]

In a fictional word floating would be an applauded skill that everybody would admire. Every real people would love to be able to fly freely. But thgink about real life. What would happen if one day a child is suddenly able to float freely? In real life parents would be scared. They would stop the child to float for his own safety. They think about media that wouldn't allow the family to live a normal life. Consider the inplication of the outside word, not just the fun. (There is a manga I'm reading where supertalented people, with unusual and amazing power get killed, because normal people fear those people).

[@gnarly.bulblax]

I’m gonna be completely honest. When I first watched this I didn’t get the message that this was a metaphor for a mental-disability. I feel super bad now

[@BraydenDarrell]

“Why can’t you just be normal?!” is something I’ve actually been told. I just finished rewatching Float, and it still hits hard. Not gonna lie, I used to (and sometimes still) dream of being normal, so I can get away from that feeling and quote. It’s a feeling of emptiness and worthlessness on an unimaginable magnitude. I have autism, ADHD, and vision problems. This results in a lack of abilities that most people have. I’m 15, and just learned to tie my shoes this year. That being said, I’m somehow really good at video games. Aside from games, I’m a school nerd. These things don’t mix well, and now I’m medicated and doing lots of services and what not. And so, while I don’t want to feel like a burden, “Why can’t you just be normal!?” will be what plays in my mind whenever something happens. But don’t worry, I’ll always be told “It’s not your fault.” while being treated as if it were. Note: This isn’t all of my life. I have had good experiences, but these are the most memorable and consistent memories.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Can relate to so much of what you've said here although I didn't have any labels yet at that age. It's helped finding other friends who can relate. There are many awesome people in the disabled community at large. I hope you find a space that gets you. No one should have to feel like a burden. We all have different needs.

[@BraydenDarrell]

Questing Refuge I have, bur that adds to it. Since being medicated, I’ve noticed some “Autistic quirks” in my friends and tried to avoid showing those quirks. Not to mention, my parents are always saying that I need to be with people like me without giving me a chance to be with “normal” people. This creates a loop of social issues. By only being with people with social issues and not getting an equal chance with “normal” people, how am I to meet their expectations of becoming “normal” someday? The only way I have “normalized” is by TV. This has led to some interesting quotes and personality changes, but now that I’m seeing teen and adult shows with more “normal” people. It makes it easier to meet my parent’s’ expectations. This wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t need to tell the world “I’m autistic” every time I meet someone new. My parents also have said about teaching me something, show me by doing it one time, say “ok now you know how. Try it yourself.”, and get mad when I’ve forgotten after being shown one time. My mom has a Karen outlook on things which makes it difficult to truly learn. However, I am really good with school, but that’s s a whole other topic. The point is, although I have met some autistic friends, “Why can’t you just be normal!?” is the quote that I’ve been taught. The funny thing is, it’s always said after “It’s not your fault.” I just made a realization that I’m writing, so I’ll remember it. I’ve tried to please everyone around me, especially my parents, but whenever I try to do something for myself, I can’t even figure out what I like, want, or feel.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Sounds like something to explore! What are your own expectations? Instead of feeling you have to learn something to meet others' expectations. Sometimes those things may match, sometimes not. Wishing you the best.

[@BraydenDarrell]

Questing Refuge Thanks for letting me vent for a bit and for the advice. Have a nice day

[@TraditionalAviator]

I was lucky enough to have a special education teacher who was also my mom. She knew I had autism and had a hard time getting my doctor to refer us to a neurologist, till she and the nurse just got fed up and left me with the doctor for five minutes- without them holding me back. Because I was a hellion, a real handful. And the doctor wouldn't believe my mom until he had to deal with me for 5 minutes. She got the referral and her theory was confirmed when I was 5 years old. Unfortunately because of the delayed diagnosis I wasn't able to communicate the abuse I went through in pre-k till I was in 1st grade when I started to become verbal. So if you are a doctor, and someone is telling you: "hey, I think my child is autistic. Can you give me a referral so we can check?" What is holding you back from doing that?? Just give them the damn referral. We could of done something if I could communicate with my mom that my teacher was isolating me from my classmates and not letting me participate like the other students.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm so sorry you endured that. I hope you are doing much better now. I'm glad you at least had your mom looking out for you. I think kids who are different are often seen as hellions though because of having difficulty communicating and expectations that are too much too early. There's a great book by Ross Greene called The Explosive Child that talks about this. Unfortunately, many medical professionals are not very informed about autism. I often hear stories about dismissing a possible diagnosis over ridiculous reasons. I also think a kid should be able to get support without an official diagnosis. This need to "prove yourself" I think causes so much harm like it sounds like you had to endure and seems unnecessary to me (not that diagnosis can't still be helpful).

[@TraditionalAviator]

@@QuestingRefuge nah man I called myself a hellion- I have a few memories of my childhood, most of which is me causing chaos. Child chaos, but chaos nonetheless. No one got hurt; it was just me experimenting. But other than my nonverbalism my mom noticed my stimming, aversion to certain textures, and over sensory issues, etc. And I was talking a little till I turned 2 or 3, where autism typically starts coming into play and slowing down development slightly. I understand that some kids are just non verbal and not necessarily indicative of autism, a fact my mom knew too. It was just the other signs that pointed to it and knew I needed to be diagnosed so I can get the help I need in school and social security later in life if I needed it. She thinks her and my dad have some form of undiagnosed autism since, like. A lot of aspies got misdiagnosed with schizophrenia or intellectual disability.

[@QuestingRefuge]

@@TraditionalAviator TraditionalAviator it wouldn't surprise me. You're definitely right many go undiagnosed. I think a lot of us don't realize until we are parents because there's more information now and you just don't know to go looking before then. You can see similar patterns with other differences in history too like Tourettes.

[@EverythingGeek]

I have autism myself and it's nice to see more stuff on shows, movies and shorts about autism also I wanted to let you know there's another short on Disney + about autism it's called loop or loops but they did a really good job with this one because it shows how an autistic person talks to a normal person

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thanks! Hoping to do next video related to loop. Can tell they put in a lot of effort for good representation in it.

[@Broomer52]

Honestly as an autistic person I’m a little annoyed at the constant melodrama surrounding things like Autism. Theirs a spectrum to it but more often than not you’re pretty functional and even when they show people that have autism on a level where you’re just a little quirky they still find a way to be dramatic about it. It’s not a curse, you just think differently. Why do even the people that support it make it sound like you’re some kind of freak? I’ve never seen anyone treat me or others like they always claim in media.

[@starstellastar3680]

I was diagnosed with autism pretty late. I never even considered me having it but i think if i had seen more autistic characters in media i might have been able to make connections between them and myself and seek out a diagnosis sooner

[@QuestingRefuge]

Me too! When we do get representation it's often very stereotypical too. I think many just have no idea about it and I think many people are missing out on so much that can help them.

[@davidkonevky7372]

that "why can't you just be normal" hit HARD, especially since it's the only words ever spoken on the whole movie.

[@professorrosenstock5026]

I remember hearing that his son, Alex did see it but didn't think much of it.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Maybe why it wasn't included in their Making Of if that's the case. I'll have to look into it out of curiosity now!

[@sed9385]

@@QuestingRefuge here's the link kzbin.info/www/bejne/kJLMe52snrGjZq8

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you! It looks like he dismissed/joked it off because he's 12. Sorry I didn't reply sooner (KZbin held and didn't show it to me until now)

[@iregretdyeingmyeyebrows5645]

Growing up with autism especially undiagnosed until later is extremely hard, it was the worst experience of my life

[@QuestingRefuge]

It really is for most of us. Learning about it later really helped change my life around. I hope it's helped you as well!

[@iregretdyeingmyeyebrows5645]

@@QuestingRefuge It has, thank you for your comment

[@mrquake7789]

Been there buddy

[@aubreyterry9453]

I know people use this as a reference to autism, and I didn’t know it was originally made to reference autism, but I used it as a reference to me being bisexual.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I could definitely see that! It does a good job of being abstract enough for many things. I think that's why it has resonated with so many

[@LadyDoomsinger]

It works either way - being excluded because you are different is a universal feeling and pervasive in most societies, regardless of what form that "difference" takes. "Why can't you just be normal" is hurtful to anyone who doesn't fit with societal norms. Which is why representation of all kinds of people in media is so important, even if people think it's cringe or empty virtue signaling: It helps normalize the concept of not being normal.

[@icantthinkofanything798]

That’s probably part of the reason the short uses the word “different” instead of autistic, it can apply to multiple things

[@cobykonneor]

I'm autistic as well... And it interests me when I tell someone I am autistic, they immediately go "No you're not. You don't look autistic" but if I say I have Aspergers (a form of autism) they react completely differently with "Oh. Okay. So you're like really smart and a bit eccentric." The stigma in film and media through the years has made it so much more difficult for us to feel accepted, some autistic people even deal with impostor syndrome because we are constantly invalidated by people's ignorance and bias.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Yeah, I've gotten some things like that. It reminds me of the "functioning" labels I don't like. It really minimizes the variety in our experiences and just kind of sucks for many other reasons.

[@isabellarobinson6082]

I recently went to a friend's high school graduation party, this was a year after i was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I started getting overstimulated and going non-verbal from the loud music, bright multi-colored lights, and the groups of strangers talking all around me. I put on my headphones, played some music and shut my eyes tight to help me cope through it when Taylor (the girl who graduated) came up to me and comforted me until i had adjusted. I'm glad that i have friends like taylor and family like my parents to help me get through this stuff.

[@blueai5022]

I was eating dinner when I came across this video. Between the short, this video, and the comments people made about their experiences, all I can taste are tears.

[@QuestingRefuge]

There have been so many tears here.

[@minty_the_sweet_alicorn7133]

My mother has been nothing but supportive of me and my quirks. I have ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, and Autism, I have medication that allows me to live a normal life. A life that is still difficult, but possible. Medication helps alongside a good psychologist and a healthy social life. Although it hasn’t been easy, I have significantly better mental health than my other friends on the spectrum (my male friends at least, don’t know any girls on the spectrum) and live a fairly satisfying life. I’m even about to go to uni later this month. Although media representation of Autism has always pissed me off. From Atypical to Mozart and the Whale to Rainman - people have this view of autistic people that is always one side or the other. Either they’re a life destroying burden, or they’re pure antisocial geniuses who are exceedingly weird. My ex was autistic and we both loved cuddling and watching shows, we were often mistaken for neurotypical because we’ve just become used to acting like that. In fact I once was having a conversation with an opponent in a chess game and when the topic of Autism came up, he absolutely refused to believe I was autistic. When I tried to explain that I’ve been diagnosed for years he just wasn’t having it. Luckily I beat him before he could explain why, it definitely would have pissed me off, but I’ll never forget how he looked at me like there was something deeply wrong with me when I said I was autistic, like I’d just told him I was a mutant set on destroying the entire planet

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm so glad you've had such a supportive mother! I completely agree! I think those 2 representations are 2 sides of the same coin. Just like any human there are a lot of other factors at play as well that determine our own experiences which will vary greatly. And that spectrum of experiences is valid no matter how easy or hard it may affect life especially because some of that difficulty isn't necessary either, like some of the difficulties are related to the way things are done and aren't necessarily great for anyone.

[@eternallylearning2811]

Yeah it tics me off as well since both exclude the more abused or less passive of us I personally would have made my self insert have an fiery temper and fire powers and taking over the planet would have had lethal punishment to crimes against neurodivegent people since I feel like the abuse is more accepted in this society but knowing this society they would have excluded the nuance on my self insert. Okay I should draw her or give the traits to one of my old OCs yeah I think I'll do that.

[@MyrteKhadr]

I was a bit of a troubled child when I was younger. My mom wrote articles and articles about how it was hard living with a kid like me as a single mother. I totally understand how it was hard and it was difficult. But this, just reading these articles and parts in books with such explicit details about me. No real context just the burden of having a “different” (never got diagnosed with anything in the end) child was extremely harmful. I never asked to be treated differently, I actually fit in real wel when given the opportunity. But all this over protection scarred my self esteem. People easily forget the effect these kind of “awareness” or “telling my story” articles affect the person in question.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm so sorry you had that shared without your consent! No one deserves to have that out there or to feel like a burden. I feel parents like your mother can talk about their story without potentially hurting their child on the process. A parent not knowing what to do doesn't make a child troubled or the problem. The problem is simply not knowing what to do. I hope you are doing well now and know that you were not the problem.

[@MyrteKhadr]

Questing Refuge thank you so much. This message means the world to me.

[@totallynotapersonlol]

I'm so sorry 😞 thank you for this comment. I often don't think about before I post something about my kids (although I NEVER EVER complain about them, I mostly talk about something they did that I thought was cute) but now I feel like I better watch what I say. My kids might not want strangers knowing stories about them (no matter how innocent those stories are). Thank you so much for this comment.

[@totallynotapersonlol]

Sending hugs your way

[@firefry5415]

This reminds me of how my parents would insult me behind my back. It kind of really hits when the people you expect to care for you most say something offensive about you or when people you care about most think of you in that sort of way. I’ve grown to not get offended whenever I hear my parents say something about me behind my back because they have done it so many times already. I’ve learned to not take others opinions personally and to be who I want to be because in the end of the day I am the one leading my life not those other people.

[@filmin9022]

I have ADHD. I related heavily to this film. I wasn’t angry at it because, I have to understand my moms outlook. She knows that the world is full of people who will judge me for not functioning the same way as them,. she wishes that I could be normal so I won’t have to face their judgement. She wants to limit my quirks so people won’t stare. But even she has come to the conclusion people are going to stare no matter what.

[@QuestingRefuge]

It does come from a good place. There is a lot of outside pressure from many people on the parents too. As a parent, I know I need to remember to not fear rule that thinking though because in the end I think it only adds pressure on my kids. It also took me a bit to learn this and I still make mistakes, but it's what I strive for.

[@mcbclark1163]

I am autistic and 11 and I got diagnosed at 5 I recently watched float and when the part came of the Dad telling the son "why can't you just be normal!" Hearing them words almost brought me to tears because I know that autism isn't quite understandable to most parents because I was showing signs of autism when I was 3 and it took us 2 years to get a diagnosis. (most girls get it late but I only got it two years late.) but when I watched float on Disney Plus I never understood why the people were reacting weird until I found out that they had never seen autism and I also didn't understand why the boy floated until I realised just now that autism floats Like a Bird peeking at you and not many of us autistic people don't understand the world and some other neurotypicals that are normal might not understand why people act like this with autism. say if you saw a child having a meltdown because they're scared of going down the escalator don't just tutter or nod your head because they probably don't like going down the escalator and they're only used to the elevator. I'm saying this because I'm scared to go down an escalator myself because I'm used to an elevator too. until I know it's safe when I am with my parents by my side. But say you are super market and you see a child biting themselves with ear defenders on and having a meltdown just remember that this is not a tantrum this is a meltdown due to sensory overload. when we have a sensory overload the body is fighting itself all at once trying to sort everything out but it just doesn't work out for them, they have a meltdown because they're probably stressed and need to go sit somewhere quiet, so just remember that if you had ever got a diagnosis of autism do not feel shame or guilt becuase you are very special and I am because you are not alone and I watch autism family and autism family has three ASD boys. I'm not sure what the dad really quoted but I'm just going to leave a quote of what I heard But telling us that every child throws tantrums and break things, is just like telling parents of a cancer survivor that everyone gets sick no! our child is not dying, no! it is not the end of the world ~ autism family🧩 I hope you all understood what I said have a good day and take care❤❤❤

[@_..Angel.._]

As an autistic boy with an autistic sister...Float hit way close to home...those words, "Why can't you just be normal!?" reduced me to tears...me and my sister have been told that...told we are not "normal"...because of our autism...but no one is how you say, "normal". We're all just people, people who deserve to be loved and respected...autistic or not.

[@skyguysreactions]

I’ve seen _Float_ and another short while scrolling through “Duh+”, but haven’t actually watched them. Both in fact relate to autism one way or the other. Before it was thrown out the window some years later, I was diagnosed with another form of autism called Asperger syndrome. Glad I found this video! Gave me a reason to check both of them out! Have a good one!

[@QuestingRefuge]

Be curious to hear what you think of them if you end up checking them out!

[@mildlymarvelous]

Hey, fellow Aspie here! Nowadays it’s just referred to as high-functioning autism, which is honestly more inclusive since not all of us have the same “symptoms”.

[@pokaay3163]

@@mildlymarvelous I thought the “high - and low -functioning” labels was considered offensive to autistic people? Is it a preference?

[@noelepeterson2036]

@@pokaay3163 some people prefer them. Yes, they are offensive, but some people on the spectrum DO in fact prefer them. Personally, I don't. But, then again, I don't speak for EVERY. SINGLE. Aspie out there. Hope this helped.

[@Ultrawicked]

As someone who went through a tuff period of accepting my sons autism when he started to be self injurious 3 years ago this film made me open my eyes more . When he yelled at his son it was heart wrentching . Love no matter what. I always tell my self no matter what he has autism and is a child . I am the adult . In a way it also showed care givers need emotional support too so we can be the best we can for our kids.

[@QuestingRefuge]

In a way I'm lucky my diagnosis was around the same time as it meant I stumbled upon autistic communities before we got bombarded with the typical information and suggestions. The parents are also fighting this system and of course deserve empathy as well. I just don't want us to do so at the expense of the child. I think with the systems changed it would benefit all involved. I have seen a lot of parents come to find much better parenting methods than the norm because of this thankfully, but some are unable to escape the fear that is pushed on them from the outside world. I'm glad you sound like you were able to become one of the former. Wishing you and your family the best.

[@Ultrawicked]

@@QuestingRefuge Thanks ! I just never want my son to look at me as a monster or feel alone . We are managing his anger and self injurious behaviours way better !

[@funnyteacherman]

Yeah, I spent the last part of the short thinking "you need to apologize" and was very disappointed when there was no apology whatsoever

[@QuestingRefuge]

It makes a big difference!

[@pokaay3163]

That’s actually a really good point that was brought up, I never realized how important it was for the short to fully confront the child’s feelings and repent openly for your actions towards them- because usually, the parents are not expected to apologize or accommodate according to what the kid is experiencing. We might be younger, but we’re still humans who can think and feel.

[@iamspongebobdestroyerofevi5055]

Thanks for introducing me to Float! I've been thinking about a few of the things you've mentioned as I start my own diagnosis process at 16. I notice that as my mother talks to adults about it, she's the one told all of the information but I've had to learn how my traits affect my life on my own. I'm okay with disclosing my condition but the adults always seem a little awkward when addressing it. "She's... different." "She lives with autism." "She may have mild, mild Asperger's." "She's so high functioning." Those moments prompt me to think about what things would be like if we listened to autistic youth as they try to describe their experiences. Yes, I can walk and talk but I crash and burn when asked to stay organized and on task. There are textures that'd make me scratch myself raw if I didn't avoid them. I hope that Alex is comfortable with this film, definitely. We sort of forget that children, regardless of neurotype, have identities.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I don't like how doctors and adults talk about children around them like that. That's even more absurd at 16! Especially talking about in that manner. I hope the diagnosis does get you support that helps you, and it should absolutely be informed by you and on your terms.

[@ProjectNetoku]

I have aspergers, a form of autism. I grew up ostracised in school, shunned by my parents, used more as a decoration or utility by my family, somewhat coldly raised and taught I was defective. I grew up with bad anxiety and depression, only getting worse partially because I wasn't getting help but also because I was raised with the concept that because of who I was I was a burden to everyone, and how I was treated over the years didnt help get rid of that concept. It's good if parents are accepting of their kids no matter what, but it's funny how little anyone thinks about those with disorders feel. No one really tries to be in their shoes.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm so sorry you experienced that. You're absolutely right that most of us get very little understanding. There's a quote that goes something like "we only know what autism with trauma looks like" and I think that's really true. It can be very difficult to learn that we aren't a problem. It's like having to reparent yourself. I hope you know that now. That you've found some people who do try to understand because everyone deserves and needs that. You are good enough the way you are.

[@mrreyes5004]

Probably because they literally can't understand it; no point in "trying to be in their shoes" since they are literally incapable of imagining what it's like. I grew up with two younger siblings, and I guarantee you they cannot imagine what it's like to not be able to read the dozens of little social cues in conversations, to not understand concepts that come naturally to other children, to not be able to move your hands or feet the way you need them to at certain times. Honestly, I'd be insulted if people not on the spectrum actually _did_ try to be in my shoes, a pointless endeavor that would just make a mockery of the condition.

[@SunsetBlvd13]

My baby brother has autism and is slowly learning to talk. My mom admitted that if we were in our home country he wouldn’t be treated and would probably worse than he is now. I had to push my parents to go get him a diagnosis cause both were in denial. Now he is very happy (but still won’t accept my hugs and kisses, oh well, baby steps)

[@QuestingRefuge]

Glad to hear he's happy! Hope that he's being given support that helps him work on things or skills he wants and not being pushed to conform. Sometimes we prefer showing affection in different ways, not one correct way to do so!

[@tangyjenna]

wait have you seen the other Pixar short called “Loop”? it also delt with autism, I haven't seen it but I've watched behind the scenes footage and the process of how they made it. I'm curious to see what'd you think of it.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I saw it right after finishing this video and loved it! I'm working on a video about it now. The making of part you mentioned especially was great at the effort they put in.

[@tangyjenna]

@@QuestingRefuge I'm glad you liked it! lookin forward to your video on it :)

[@missa9030]

My son has always been a little different from other kids and I’ve been concerned about autism in the past but when I saw this I just started bawling it really hit home and made me realize my son is great no matter if he has autism or not

[@QuestingRefuge]

That will mean the world to your son feeling that love and acceptance from you!

[@missa9030]

Questing Refuge thank you for your very sweet comment 😊

[@THE_PLAYER_ZER0]

I was diagnosed with autism later than most. Being autistic is something I used to think negatively about but now, I've just kinda dealt with it by being myself and not letting others tear me down because I am different or unique. My message to everyone here is that, though the experience differs from person-to-person, you should treat us like we're actual humans and nothing less. And also, be yourself because there is no one better to do it than yourself!

[@QuestingRefuge]

Love your message and glad you've found some acceptance yourself!

[@THE_PLAYER_ZER0]

@@QuestingRefuge Yeah! It took some work, but I managed it!

[@Broomer52]

Being seen as a burden, talking like I’m broken and feeling pressure by others were never things I experienced even as an Autistic person myself. My moms whole parenting philosophy was that she wanted me and my sisters to have thick skin. She was tough but not mean, we learned humor through teaching each other, made sure to let us understand that the world isn’t always a nice place and that things are hard. I grew up took her subtle and unsubtle lessons to heart and honestly I stopped caring what people thought, I felt no need to please people, I even find it funny when people get mad especially at things that are stupid to get mad over. I’m 28 and hadn’t taken medication since middle school and own a home with a decent job and home life. Genuinely the key to happiness as I’ve found is to stop caring all the time. With the way the world is life is too short to worry all the time and it’ll be even shorter with all that stress weighing you down

[@kay-kaycomicstudios]

During this short I started to cry because since I'm diagnosed with autism. this made me feel relatable to that kid because I remember when I asked my parents what was their first reaction to me having autism and they told me "we felt sad and scared because we don't know how your going to live your life, but growing up you showed some true potential to us". Hearing this made me feel a bit happy even though I do tend to get angry at myself saying "I'm not normal" when the guy yelled at the kid "why can't you be normal?!" that stings me and it doesn't have to be said in words since my whole heard about me having autism they tried to stay away from me and even when I was a kid they did that. I'm glad that this short was made and the other short loop, it makes me feel like I can be comfortable in my own skin

[@AutisticRebbetzen]

My parents sheltered me from getting diagnosed in 1990s Texas. They didn't like any of the treatments they saw available, so they didn't seek out a label. I'm glad that I never experienced ABA or anything like that, but I also didn't figure out I was autistic until I was 29 and ADHD at 30. I've also been getting lots of other long term physical things diagnosed that I had sort of dismissed as the way things are. Those physical things would be in way better shape now if they had been discovered sooner in my life and before I put my body through pregnancy, birth, and nursing.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I relate to this so much! Still tracking down so many physical things for myself. Wishing you the best in sorting it all out 💜

[@AutisticRebbetzen]

@@QuestingRefuge Thanks! Fibromyalgia diagnosis is in the bag. Also hypermobility- cause still unknown. Ya know... good things to know before growing a human!

[@darklordoftheuniverse7803]

ASD people are not broken we don't need people to tell us that where bad or not normal because we have a different brain tip and if someone dosn't whant you to tell people about them then don't say anything

[@QuestingRefuge]

Yes!

[@Logitah]

I am autistic and I was diagnosed at the age of 25. I relate to this short because the little boy's condition has no name. I too, grew up just being "weird" and nothing more. I know that my parents sometimes got frustrated with me, but I'm still glad that they never wailed over me being "not normal" (like so many parents do). Of course they wanted me to behave, but they let me sing my songs, dance like a small demon and indulge in my curiosity.

[@kokoro7996]

When I was diagnosed with Autism, my parents didn’t start treating me differently. They just continued to treat normally, and I am very grateful to them because of that.

[@Mark-fc7tu]

I have Asperger's. Personally, I took a look at the film with low expectations, and it touched me for a bunch of reasons. As someone who struggles with social anxiety, I could definitely relate to the father's fears of what the neighbors would say about his son. I know that the film wasn't perfect. From what I can tell, one explanation for there being only one spoken line was that the father wanted to show his remorse through his actions at the end, but I know that that explanation has it's downsides. But I do think that 'Float' is a good movie that shows what it means to be different... and what it means to be afraid of being different.

[@paranormeow]

My parents have mostly been great for me and my autism, but its still really hard grappling with the constant knowledge that most of the world wont accept me or even try to help me, especially because I’m not a “good” or “useful” autistic AKA a prodigy. “Why cant you just be normal” is something I often ask myself.

[@yagmurcelik8989]

"Why cant you just be normal?" Possible answer:"I dunno. Ask God."

[@ameliajones9827]

Define normal.

[@yagmurcelik8989]

Something that changes from place to place, time to time and needs to needs. I suppose it comes from the word "norm". English is not my first language so I can only know limited.

[@TheMultiFandomFangirl44]

I'm a 19-year-old who was just given my diagnosis last December. I remember a few months back, I watched this short, and it really hit home for me. I always saw myself as different and "not normal" compared to others around me, and wasn't until I was diagnosed where I truly understood myself. I then showed this short to my aunt and mom, and when it got to the part where the father says "why can't you just be normal", my mom and aunt looked at me with tears in their eyes. They asked me if I ever thought that they thought of me like that, which they didn't, but they apologized if they did make me feel that way. I think it was this short that helped my family really understand me.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this. That is powerful and I'm glad your family had that moment and understanding.

[@tynishabradley7370]

Oh. my gosh you are speaking so much truth. I can identify with a lot what you are naming. I'm still learning a lot but so far this is exactly where I am.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Wishing you and your family the best!

[@rosem3238]

I’d love to see more videos like this. You provide such relatable insight.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you! Looking forward to what you think of the next one when it's done!

[@yoyleb1711]

instantly subscribed. thank you for discussing these issues, you put my thoughts so clearly into words.

[@QuestingRefuge]

So glad to hear that! Hope you enjoy the rest

[@halsbandfuchs]

TL,DR; "Why can't you just be normal" hurts and then it's just me ranting about mental illnesses I have because why not? I'm not autistic, but the "why can't you just be normal" still hit a little too hard. Mostly because my mother had always said (yelled) that to me as a child. I have ADHD, OSDD, Tourette's Syndrome, sensory issues-- a number of things. The only ones I was ever professionally diagnosed with were depression and anxiety. I've tried to get my aunt (who i live with now, at 15) to get me a diagnosis for my ADHD and Tourette's, but she insists that I'm faking Tourette's and will be fine without an ADHD diagnosis or medication. The only ones that know about my OSDD are my dad-- who couldn't get me a diagnosis due to financial and transportation problems when I lived with him-- my ex-girlfriend, and my current boyfriend. The phrase "Why can't you just be NORMAL" hurts. I don't know what normal is-- I've struggled with these issues all my life and the abuse my mom gave me doesn't help matters at all. What even IS considered normal? Perfect grades and an outgoing personality? If that's the case, no one I know is normal, except my cousin (who, ironically, IS autistic).

[@QuestingRefuge]

I am so sorry you've experienced that. It is so difficult when people don't believe you and that can prevent us from getting accessibility aids that would help us. "Normal" is nonsense. And it's horrific people are denied healthcare and help like that. I hope you are able to get more support. 💜

[@halsbandfuchs]

@@QuestingRefuge Thanks, man. Also, side question, how the heck are you still replying to every single comment??? Doesn't that get exhausting????

[@QuestingRefuge]

@@halsbandfuchs haha I miss some! It's still kind of manageable when I have a minute here and there for now

[@lifeisanenigma213]

I was told at a very young age what “normal” people do and what “normal” people don’t do, and then in a sense, I was tortured so that I can train myself how to do what normal people do, because I should... because I shouldn’t be this way. It wasn’t my parents that taught me this but the scientists and therapists around me. They thought because I’m mentally handicapped, that they could say whatever they wanted and I wouldn’t mind or realize but, I understood all too well. I worked everyday sacrificing the little childhood I had to becoming “normal”. I never did what I wanted to do like art. I loved art ever since I was a child but I was told that being an artist doesn’t matter and artists don’t make money; so, I never did art because I was so busy trying to make me “normal”. I’m older now and what I consider “normal” and I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. My parents are extremely dense and don’t acknowledge my traumatic childhood cus “how could I have a traumatic childhood with them as my parents”. 🤦‍♀️ So, I cant get help from them, the few people that could possible understand me. I feel lost and aimless. Should I continue to dedicating my life to proving those scientists wrong, that I can do whatever I want and succeed like everyone else, or should I just do want I want? Just live my life doing the things I enjoy because I never got to do that as a kid. I never got to do what I wanted, I did what I had to do, to not be a burden, to “fix” myself, to become “better”. Thank you for this video, I’ve felt forever like no one could comprehend what I’ve been through. But how silly of me, there are so many people: you and all these people in the comment section, who’ve been thru the same thing. Thank you so much. My parents don’t understand my pain, but with this short, I thing they will at least a little. Edit 3/17/20: Great news! Two days ago, I was able to show my mother this comment! (*≧▽≦) I found the the medical term avpd or Avoidant Personality Disorder while perusing the internet and after looking up its symptoms, I showed it to my mother. I’m not saying I have avpd but, I heavily relate to it’s symptoms. Talking about my relativity to avpd opened up the conversation to my past trauma and eventually lead to my mother reading this comment. After talking to her a little afterward, she was able to understand and know what she didn’t before. Thank the Lord that he cares about the little ity-bity things and allowed my mother the opportunity to read this. My mother now understands. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و (ಥ﹏ಥ) (ᗒᗨᗕ) ❤️ To my mother who is going to read this edit in the future: thank you. 💕 I also want to thank Questing Refuge. If you didn’t make this video, this all wouldn’t have happened. Thank you so much. ❤️ Thank you all for the kind and supportive comments. 💛 P.S. She also read your comment, @Questing Refuge and, she also believes I should do what I want to do too. Thanks again.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I am so incredibly sorry you've endured this by yourself. I hope you do things for you. Things that are meaningful for you. I don't think we can ever fully satisfy anyone when we attempt to fit in more. There will always be more you could do. It can be scary to be ourselves as it leaves us vulnerable and some people not like that, but I'd rather know that as myself the people around me fully accept me. Not only that, the more time I spent trying to fit in the more I lost who I was. When I was diagnosed I felt like I was given permission to finally reexamine my life and figure out who I was. Every human being is interdependent. We all need each other. Some of us may have more needs. That doesn't make us less. This drive to be entirely independent is unrealistic and harmful. You can see many people are feeling lonelier, more alienated. We need to be ourselves. To have spaces where we can do that. I hope your parents hear you. I hope they see what you need. You are good enough the way you are. You have always been.

[@lifeisanenigma213]

@Questing Refuge Thank you. Thank you isn’t enough to show how grateful I am for what you said, but it’s the only thing I can say so, thank you.

[@Zvasha]

I cried reading your comment 😭😭😭❤️ I don't know you but you seem like a beautiful person. I'm sorry you weren't accepted for who you are. I'm sorry the people around you failed. Many times I had to "fix" my behavior, like stimming, because people said I looked weird and I was making them uncomfortable. That's why I go OUT OF MY WAY to make sure my kids stim as much and however they want. I go out of my way to make sure they will NEVER EVER feel like they have to shrink themselves to make others love them. I hope you feel my virtual hug to you 😭❤️

[@lifeisanenigma213]

@Zahaara Your virtual hug was felt and appreciated. I’m so happy you love your kids for who they are. A virtual hug in return. ❤️⊂(・﹏・⊂)

[@Zvasha]

@@lifeisanenigma213 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you 😭😭😭😭❤️

[@Chicabubbo]

At 1:54 I was just taken aback by the Joker suddenly being part of the croud until I realised😂 This is the first video of yours I’ve seen and I already love you humor!

[@QuestingRefuge]

haha thank you!

[@fancyspaggy]

You only have 996 subscribers? You deserve so many more, I'm exited to watch you grow.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thanks so much! It means a lot as this was my first video essay really

[@julianbevc6612]

As the father used rocks to keep his child on the ground, people mostly won’t stand to things that are not common or normal. The more rocks you are carrying in your life, you won’t be able to be the genuine and unique person you want to be. Personally, i think that the metaphor of the rocks is very accurate to explain how people won’t give opportunities to others to enjoy the same way of living just because they are different. This happens with the black community, the lgbtq, people with spectrum, ANY ONE. Our social system isn’t founded on equality, it isn’t made for helping everybody. The best way to have a better world is at least treating people with love and making them feeling special. Treating people the way we want to be treated. Sorry if my English is bad :) I speak Spanish and I’m to lazy to check spelling mistakes, bai

[@QuestingRefuge]

You're absolutely right and love that you brought up other marginalized groups! Wish I could speak more languages than English!

[@MAKonz-bf8dl]

Another short film that handles a lot of these themes well is Meramorphosis, a student animation film by Aitoklyn Almenova. It's absolutely gorgeous and I think it carries so much goodness in its messaging.

[@QuestingRefuge]

thank you! I'll definitely check it out

[@cookiemocher388]

I love the animation in this and the environment

[@devilcwesker5980]

we live in a SOCIETY.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Couldn't help myself!

[@justasmallartist2981]

This was an absolutely amazing video! I’m so glad i happened to stumble over this. I genuinenly did not know what ABA really did to autistic people. HORRIBLE!! So, thank you for educating me. I hope to see more content from you!

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that!

[@justasmallartist2981]

Questing Refuge oh my gosh i didn’t even expect a reply! Thank you :D Also, really impressed with your criticism. It is also the childs story, so i was really bummed to not see his opinion. I may not be autistic, but you helped people like me at-least understand a part of the problem. Have a good day!

[@eugeniesimpson5247]

That tiny, shrinking window of opportunity. You are so right, that focus is panic riddled. Loved this view, thank you.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you! So glad this has resonated

[@AutisticBrain]

Thanks this gave me something to think about.

[@TravisRitenourautismvlogs]

i understand i am autistic myself don’t let people’s rude words get you down because you are a wonderful person who was made differently by their creator and your creator does not make mistakes

[@QuestingRefuge]

Wonderfully said! And we can lift each other up

[@lynp9996]

sadly most people don't know about the social model of disability.

[@QuestingRefuge]

It really is unfortunate. It's such a useful way of looking at things

[@ggchiu7400]

i only saw float recently, but i hit home hard for me too, me struggling and finally realising and getting diagnosed with ADHD as a teen. Not to take away the sheer importance of float for autistic representation and awareness, but I think float can relate to a lot of people who, the same as I do, struggle with disorders that seem invisible to the naked eye, but pile up and cause so many problems neurotypical people just wouldn't understand to the same extent. this reliability meant so much to me. When the dad said that line why cant you be normal I just cried with the kid the same way: this soft whimper and muffled crying, sad acceptance that I will never be 'normal' bc my mom kinda treats me the same way for having ADHD pixar should make more films like this ugh

[@da_real_one]

I don’t have autism, but I do have ADHD, OCD, and anxiety. Everyone says that I’m too impulsive and I’m too immature, and nobody would ever like me because of who I am. The “why can’t you just be normal?!” hits hard with me, because nobody’s really ever accepted me. I have numerous medical issues too, like when I get any strong emotion, I just jiggle. Like I’ll jump into the air and wiggle all around. Another thing: I’m always getting sick, so people are afraid of me. Even my own parents. When I told my mom once that I needed to go to the doctor because my “wiggles” weren’t normal, (at least I don’t think they are) and she went off about how much money I cost her compared to my other two siblings and all of my problems. 😢

[@pandoraarts7748]

This short really hit home with me. My little brother has ADHD and autism and it's surprising how little faith people have in his learning capabilities compared to other children. as my cousin said the exact same thing as the father the other day and I had to lecture him about that. Luckily my little brother doesn't give two shits about anything anyone says unless they're giving him something XD.

[@vickywaxlady1101]

My 19 year old son was diagnosed at 13 and this short really got me. It was hard to see the little boy being hidden away but to me his father thought he was protecting him. I actually cried watching it, but the end reinforced the way I brought up my son... take away the rocks, let your child "float" and be who they are, don't try to make them conform to what society thinks people should be

[@QuestingRefuge]

Exactly! As parents there are good intentions for these fears but ultimately accepting and not being consumed by that fear is going to be better for everyone. I hope your son is doing well and so glad he had an accepting home. Thank you for being there for him!

[@vickywaxlady1101]

@@QuestingRefuge He is doing well, thank you. He's at college doing a vehicle maintenance course. As parents as soon as you are told your child is autistic you begin learning. The diagnosis does not change your child, they are still the unique person they were before diagnosis... But now YOU can begin to try to learn and understand what the world is like for them and give them the support you always have, but armed with extra knowledge. Sorry. I rambled on a bit there. 🤣

[@totallynotapersonlol]

@@vickywaxlady1101 thank you for being an awesome parent and doing what's right for your child 😭❤️

[@eternallylearning2811]

I'm sorry that's easier said then done us autistics have been pretty damn unpowered over the years you'd have to be an goodrole model and even so your against people who's been pushing themselves up for ages then there's the karens and anti vaccers possible reaction.

[@vickywaxlady1101]

@@eternallylearning2811 it's not easier said than done to be a parent who allows your child to be who they are.

[@harasen_haras5]

2:15 That's the messages given in the US when a child is diagnosed with autism? I'm glad my own experience when diagnosed was different from that. Although I didn't get diagnosed with autism before the age of 15, signs that I needed extra help with some things at school were present early on. When I was in 2nd grade, my mom insisted that I should stay in the public school and get extra help there instead of being moved to a special needs school, because she believed that I could make it through the public school while getting my extra help there. No need to distance me from the mainstream society. Of course that's not necessarily the case for everyone. Just my experience.

[@QuestingRefuge]

The experiences will definitely vary a lot. I can say that was what we were told.

[@FlawlessQueen0906]

I have ADHD and dyslexia an other learning disability as now I have severe tramtic brain damage from getting hit by a car back in September. I felt like the black sheep in the family growing up and now I feel even more now, and less than human. It tragic and immoral how people with mental disorders and disability are demonized. We are not monsters, we are not animals, we are humans and we are beautiful point blank

[@QuestingRefuge]

I hope you have found people who will accept you for who you are because everyone deserves that. It really is awful how normalized ableism is.

[@FlawlessQueen0906]

Questing Refuge thanks you now that my family finally understand what I’ve been going through and are actively try to help me. And I have finally accepted myself. I hope the same for you.

[@balobadartist9022]

At 0:12 is the exact moment that you have earned my life respect

[@samanthaemory650]

I'm neurodivergent too and I broke down crying when I saw this. When I was in middle school I knew that I didn't think the same or there was something different in my thought processes. I told my mom that I thought I had "anxiety" because I didn't know what it was and it was causing me a lot of hardship. My mom dismissed it and I ended up being hospitalized at 15 for anorexia (which almost killed me). Finally, she woke up and realized something was happening and she needed to pay attention to my mental health for once. She finally realized I wasn't "faking" it. I got diagnosed with OCD, anorexia nervosa, anxiety (they never specified which type it was kind of a mix of generalized anxiety and social anxiety. I just knew I had to take meds for it), and misophonia (technically it is not in the DSM-V yet, but my therapist said when it is I will be diagnosed with it). Anytime I see representation of an accepting family I just break down. I get so angry whenever I hear my mom's friends say, "Oh I'm so OCD I can't live in a dirty house!" like no Barbra, that's not how OCD works. I'd beg for it to work that way. Anyway, I saw a lot of people sharing their stories and I wanted to share mine as well. This was a very well done analysis of this short. I hope that anyone struggling with acceptance from their family of their neurodivergence or mental illness finds comfort in my story to let them know you can make it. My OCD has gotten a lot better over time, but will always be a part of me and I'm okay with that. Honestly, I feel like there are probably other things I could be diagnosed with, like ADHD, but quite frankly I'm tired of treatment and diagnoses and I've learned to cope and survive as I am and love who I am (but if my mental health gets horrible I still do reach out when I need it, but that's very rare nowadays and I haven't done it in a year). Again, great analysis, and I hope whoever is reading this comment has a great day!

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you so much for sharing! It's awful experiencing not being believed. I really relate to getting tired with trying to navigate the diagnosis processes too. It feels like such a painful and tiring process to hopefully get believed a little bit more and even that doesn't always work.

[@sims4builder851]

I have autism ineas diagnosednat 20 when I couldn't cope. I finally dont see myself as broken rather I have a brain that works differently and this in some ways is a fantastic ability

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm so glad to hear that! That late diagnosis can be so powerful in understanding ourselves.

[@charliechaplin6049]

I wish parents realized how important a sorry is to their children. Without it, that hurt just stays, lingers and the kid often feels like it’s still their fault. Whenever kids fuck up they say sorry but I’ve never seen a parent do the same :/

[@gorboobus9292]

Good god, the level that the short relates to my life is scary. I’ve got problems in school mainly due to high functioning autism, always have, specifically with regards to motivation to do the work and the drive to be interested in school. Luckily I’m on my last year. Obviously, school is boring, not always, but most of the time. But there are plenty of assignments that I’ve been interested in, even excited for, but never ended up doing them. Plus, I was always confused as to why it was so easy for most kids to do the work while I was left this mess, as my dad described. I never knew why. And I’m clearly not lazy, because if I’m REALLY into a project, like drawing all the time. When it came to my dad, instead of trying to understand my dilemma and where I’m coming from, he treated the situation as if I were just being lazy and not wanting to do the work. Over the years, the talks turned to annoyed quips, then to today where all it is is passive aggressive threats and yelling. I’m not really sure what the story is supposed to add to the comment section, but I’m this far in the message, so I might as well post it.

[@QuestingRefuge]

I'm sorry you're not receiving understanding and support. Claiming someone is "lazy" ironically is lazy on their end. It's basically deciding not to spend energy to problem solve or work with you.

[@devorahlockheart6209]

Can you review Loop next? I watched it and loved it and would love to hear your thoughts

[@QuestingRefuge]

In case you didn't see yet, I did cover Loop! kzbin.info/www/bejne/p3i5aGdunNuFaZI

[@ironvlogger9712]

I dying to see Float too, I was just diagnosed with autism and I can't wait

[@QuestingRefuge]

Congrats! It was one hell of a ride when I got mine. It can be hard not to reanalyze every little thing in your life and how you do things. Lot of good can come from that but it can also be overwhelming too at times. Hope you remember to be kind to yourself. You haven't changed, just learned something new about yourself.

[@ironvlogger9712]

@@QuestingRefuge thank you💗

[@MLEbug]

I 100% agree that the father actually saying sorry would be an important addition. I felt the same way when he didn't. It hurt me, thinking of my own parents.

[@Kitthecatgod]

My dad screamed ‘why can’t you just be normal’ at me so that clip hit hard

[@carmel9583]

I have mild autism, and I actually think Loop had a more powerful message about the nonverbal autistics

[@QuestingRefuge]

I think Loop did an amazing job at representation. Talking about it next!

[@carmel9583]

Questing Refuge That’s good to hear. I hope Pixar can make a short about the autistics that can communicate verbally

[@KittyLove93]

I think both are really good, but have just a different message. One is understanding, other one is accepting

[@carmel9583]

Laura Veldhuis I haven’t seen Float, but these type of feel good videos are just to give people a pat on the back and say “I’m a good person”

[@QuestingRefuge]

@@carmel9583 I do think that happens a lot. Often I feel like they could make the story about both. It just takes some extra effort to avoid some of the harmful messaging.

[@hotpocketsat2am]

hey, autistic person here! could you give me some info on ABA, i've legit never heard of it and the only article i could find was from autism speaks, and that speaks for itself thanks in advance!

[@alpacaofthemountain8760]

Amazing video, just found your channel

[@QuestingRefuge]

thank you and glad to have you here!

[@dr.quinnzel7284]

wow it's really great to hear from the autistic comminity. I'm filipino living in the phillippines and I think I also wanna share why this short tugged at my heart strings too. I'm a very cheerful person but very recently I began to have manic despressive episodes and my parents had no idea how to deal with them. I felt alone and I resented my family for it and it didn't help that I felt like I was scaring them away. After having a few sessions with my therapist I'm able to return to a healthier state and I'm able to communicate my feelings better and I see them become better parents. I think because of my upbringing I'm drawn to stories about filipino families. The ones that I enjoy the most are stories with filipino single parents and dysfuctional family dynamics like Seven Sundays, Four Sisters and a Wedding, Paki and Patay na si Hesus and I feel like Float does what these movies do best. Show a family that could love each other unconditionally if they could just communicate properly.

[@QuestingRefuge]

It's been great to hear some responses from filipinos too! Thank you so much. I do think that theme is an important part

[@IntrepidIanRinon]

Kumusta, kabayan? I suspect myself to be autistic, and it's just a taboo subject out here. I really hope we can do something about it. At least, I myself am trying to...

[@theroadtocosplayandcomicco5840]

I wanted a charater like me . With autism I had to learn to accept my disablity and how its a power.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Yes! I think a lot of us feel that way. And even if some aspects aren't a "power" accepting our disability gives us peace and I think allows self compassion sometimes too

[@Wildoutness]

2:55 Truer than true. Since I was young I wanted to go to the hospital but i could never afford it. I had insurance but it ran out. I started learning to take care of myself. I've even had to remove a tattoo. I've lanced open and sewn open things back together. As long as you do it right, you don't come out looking like a ragdoll with extra leather flaps everywhere.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Damn, I'm so sorry. Just still boggles my mind this is the way things are right now. Amazing you've been able to do that, but you shouldn't have had to!

[@Wildoutness]

@@QuestingRefuge I shouldn't of, but I feel safe knowing I can stay healthy.

[@Shades781]

I have little bro with autism in my family, moderate. He has a hard time, I don't have it as far as I know but I do have ADHD. I understand what it's like to be in a world built for everyone else accept for you. I'll never fully understand him but it's fine, because unlike some. I accept that I don't and I'll never fully understand him.

[@trevorpacelli8056]

Noticed you hid the Joker's face in the image when you said, "we live in a society..." Nicely done.

[@m0istur]

Im not therapist, but I wanna say that it also feels normal to be shocked or surprised when you discover that your child is diagnosed with something like autism. I mean everyone will take it in differently when they find out. I do think that even though it might come as a surprise, it should taken in as like you said, another piece of information about your child. Either way, no matter what your child may have, you should still love them as much as you have before the diagnosis, and thats all matters

[@liliangel3551]

So true :)

[@vanceisokay9165]

I’ve only recently been diagnosed with autism, and so I have had to to a bit of research, for myself an for my family.

[@kevinschaoticshuttle4544]

don't forget about Loop! the one with the canoe?

[@QuestingRefuge]

Just about done with a video on that! Think it will be up this weekend.

[@doctorprotogen]

I’m autistic and I really hate being different, but seeing the light in the future really saved me. I really hope some day everyone will understand what autism is like.

[@doctorprotogen]

Also adding, imo if you love ur child then if they are different. Love their differences and enjoy them.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Before I knew I was autistic and processed it I definitely hated a lot of my differences. I feel like we wouldn't go through hating our differences as much if the culture and systems we live in were different.

[@doctorprotogen]

@@QuestingRefuge true

[@abbey-marieslatter9021]

I love your video. I too have ASD. That line, why can't you be normal! Hit a painful cord. I got told something similar as a child. I got told by a grade 3 teacher, I don't want your daughter in my class, as I only want to teach normal kids and your daughter isn't normal. You can see why it hurt.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you! And wow what an awful teacher.

[@chaoflaka8132]

When he said that. I was completely dead silent for a minute.

[@WoohooliganComedy]

Thanks, QR! 💖 It's great to meet you. Let me know if I can help with any of your projects. And good luck figuring out how to produce videos faster, I'm stuck on that one myself. 😛 p.s. I've unfortunately experienced some serious ethical problems with ASAN. We really need organizations like them -- with their goals -- but they've completely failed me personally and seem to not care after I reported to their higher management that one of their local group managers harassed my wife a few years ago. A little while after that experience I started noticing some other people online reporting similar experiences with their upper management.

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thanks! Nice meeting you too! I'll let you know if I figure out some trick, I think it's just I need to worry less! Still overdoing a lot. I have seen some issues that seem concerning with ASAN too. So sorry to hear your family has been directly affected. Their goals are a lot better than the standards many see, so they seem a decent example to bring up, but I do need to compile some disclaimers when mentioning some of these organizations because it's important we remain critical too.

[@WoohooliganComedy]

@@QuestingRefuge Thanks! Yeah, it's unfortunate about ASAN, but you're right, if we want them to be better, or to have better orgs, we need to be as critical of them as we are of anyone else. On producing more videos, I'm probably overthinking too. Kind of the story of my life. 😉

[@pabu691]

no person is broken everyone is perfect in their own way everyone is different no one is the same love your self and love others

[@k4r4k0]

Hey what did you think of 'Loop' ? They have spoken publicly how it is about autism too. Would love to know your thoughts! This video was good!

[@QuestingRefuge]

Thank you so much! I loved Loop and the next video will be talking about it!

[@k4r4k0]

@@QuestingRefuge Oh man, that's nice to hear!