Please Don't Circle Back: Corporate Jargon Sucks

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BIBLIOGRAPHY
André Spicer, “Business Bullshit,” 2018.
Brian Fugerule, Chelsea Hardaway, and Jon Warshawsky, "Why Business People Speak Like Idiots," 2005.
David Graeber, "Bullshit Jobs,” 2018.
Emma Green, "The Origins of Office Speak," The Atlantic, 2014.
Florian Coulmas, "Sociolinguistics : The Study of Speakers' Choices,” 2006.
Gerlinde Mautner, “Language and the Market Society, 2010.
John Patrick Leary, “Keywords: The New Language of Capitalism,” 2019.
Julia Carrie Wong and Matthew Cantor, "How to Speak Silicon Valley," The Guardian, 2019.
Kenneth Hudson, “The Jargon of the Professions,” 1978.
Marnie Holborow, "Language and Neoliberalism,” 2015.
Phil Graham, “Hypercapitalism: New Media, Language, and Social Perceptions of Value,” 2006.
Philip Hancock and Melissa Tyler, “The Management of Everyday Life,” 2009.
Thomas Frank, “One Market Under God: Extreme Capitalism, Market Populism, and the End of Economic Democracy,” 2001.
Tim Phillips, “Talk Normal: Stop the Business Speak, Jargon and Waffle,” 2011.
=== Watch More Episodes! ===
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Written by Amanda Scherker
Hosted by Michael Burns
Directed by Michael Luxemburg
Edited by Mark Potts
Produced by Olivia Redden
Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound
#Work #culture #wisecrack
© 2023 Wisecrack / Omnia Media, Inc. / Enthusiast Gaming

[@WisecrackEDU]

What's your favorite nugget of business speak?

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

LOVE you wisecrack!

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

Kroned

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

"You gotta diversify yo' bonds n*gga! WU TANG CLAN A'INT NOTHING TO F*CK WIT!"

[@HardCodedGaming]

I had to explain to my project manager why I didn't think we should call the final version of our commissioned application our "final solution".

[@WarmFuzzyVibes]

What is selfulate?

[@tc2241]

As someone who transitioned from a technical field to business, I swear the jargon was invented to make it appear we’re doing more than we actually are while also sounding believable

[@Casssholevania]

Like when lawyers use excessive Latin terms just to show that they know them? I have a business degree and I never use jargon. People that do have little dog syndrome.

[@kylejohnson6775]

That's exactly what it's for. Modern business mostly exists to make profit. There's no other value. Which means modern business is about making your income go up at ever-accelerating rates. Which means making a number in a computer system (a bank account somewhere) go up. Fundamentally, that's it. Money is an idea that's supposed to represent the stuff we have, and what we're able to do with our skills and that stuff. It's a tool to make trading stuff and services much easier, so you don't need to directly barter with a farmer a few times a week. But it's treated like a commodity of self-evident importance. So, business speak exists to obscure that and make business activities sound so much more meaningful than "I want to make money because I want money, and our actions have no other purpose or contribution to society besides making the wealth-point number bigger". Because it's easier to convince people to give you money that way, and not question whether it would've been better spent on something like, I don't know.... a dance class. Companies that actually build shit or provide services have different industry - specific jargon.

[@grahamflorida5942]

​@@kylejohnson6775 This, my GF owns a gym. Zero corporate jargon about it, because the business model is "we offer self defense classes, BJJ is fun, exercise is healthy, we do and provide things and a tight knit community and that's why you should give us your money. Come watch a couple classes, come enjoy a free class, see if it's your thing." She has an MBA and actively mocks all the corporate jargon she had to deal with from other jobs. (The gym is successful now, but it took years of hard work to be profitable.)

[@vazzaroth]

That is 1000% true. As soon as you get into IT teams and stuff, that shit falls off. Then the IT managers have to code-shift once they're dealing with the rest of the 'busy bees' corporation. So annoying but hey, it's a marketable skill to interface with bullshit and not get too disgusted at least.

[@Gabriel-br4qe]

@@Casssholevania yep, everything in fancy legal speak can be easily translated to simple everyday english and here in Brazil it's the same vibe

[@computersciencestudentriverbat]

Wisecrack's intentionally about actualizing achievable milestones is why philosophy as a metric is going to make some sustainable paradigm shifts in the next quarter.

[@WisecrackEDU]

my god this is good.

[@richteffekt]

They're pioneering unique solutions to leverage the transformational power of philosophy on the intersection of consulting and world class content creation.

[@Darth_Bateman]

I swear to god, im going to start the rumbling.

[@LifeInJambles]

I've encountered the combination of words "sustainable paradigm [shifts, disruption, et cetera]" before, and it's one of my least favorite I've ever known. A disruption of norms is, by nature, not sustainable. It really is true that you can just put words in whatever order you want. 😩

[@scottsanford1451]

Especially if they leverage efficiencies to optimize the minimum viable product for the market space.

[@LonkinPork]

Every once in a while, I say "please hesitate to reach out" and expect the person receiving my email to think it's just a typo. But I also have a sticker on my laptop that I bought at a skate shop that says that, so if they ever see me in person it might shatter the illusion. Worth the dice roll, honestly.

[@sarahberkner]

With how poorly some people read emails, i'm guessing a lot of people won't even notice. But I'm sure some people will think it's funny, I do. Even though I actually do want people to reach out if they have a question for me.

[@robertbeste]

This blurring of the boundaries between corporate, personal, and familial spaces is far more dangerous that even mentioned. It directly led to the idea that corporations are people and that money is speech (Thanks Citizens United!). Corporations have successfully convinced society and the government that they have the importance levels as actual humans and families. This has led to the explosion of lobbying and essentially legal bribery as the norm for our government process.

[@NWPaul72]

An alien species coming to earth would likely identify corporations as the dominant lifeform, a colony organism.

[@JF-fo8lb]

@robertbeste Citizens United NEVER said that corporations are people or that money is speech. That is misinformation. That case was about the 2002 Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act. Citizens United produced a movie called “Hillary: The Movie” during the 2008 Democratic primary. That law made it illegal for any corporation, non-profit organization, or labor union from making an "electioneering communication" within 30 days of a primary election or within 60 days of a general election. There were special exemptions made for media corporations. Citizens United wasn’t an accredited media corporation as determined by the FEC. Rather than just ruling that Citizens United was a media corporation, the Supreme Court threw out the caveat all together and took away the FEC’s power to grant accreditation by ruling that that law was unconstitutional as it was a violation of the 1st Amendment. That is what the Citizens United case is about! This information can be found on Wikipedia.

[@sarahberkner]

Corporations aren't people, that's ridiculous. They provide a lot of jobs, but those jobs could be available elsewhere. However, about money, I think it's good to be balanced. Some people don't pay attention to how much money they spend or make, and they go broke. People are more important than dollars, but you do need money for a business or even a nonprofit to thrive.

[@suebear119]

The longer I’ve been at my current office job, the more I’ve noticed the “business speak” leak into my everyday vocab and that terrifys and disgusts me 😂

[@Papathunda]

I had a former friend talk like this. it fit the guy because how unemotional he was coming off

[@_The_Archive_]

Fun Fact: In Office Space, a scene was cut from the film which showed Lumbergh reacting angrily to his Porsche getting towed. Gary Cole said he was glad the scene was taken out because he felt the Lumbergh character needed to remain at the same emotional state at all times.

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

Even during orgasm.

[@epothos1]

Yeah the character kinda needs that distance from humanity due to his pursuits

[@methos-ey9nf]

Gary Cole was just too damn good in that role, it was the first thing I'd ever seen him in and it made it really hard to take him seriously in other roles... especially when he followed it up by having the same sort of character play the vice president on The West Wing.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes🎉

[@drew-horst]

Jimmy fallon 2013 cronut

[@brianbuch1]

A friend made a living doing motivational workshops in the corporate world. She told me of a contract to present a workshop to a workforce that had just had 50% layoffs with no decrease in the total workload. "The staff doesn't need your workshop. They need a labor union."

[@ES50678]

So, serious question. When my job just had layoffs - and this is the shit they’re pulling. And if I’m at the top of the tech industry, and the tech industry is the tip top of how to make a good living - and I’ve had a good living the last 5 years I’ve been in this field - um… should I be worried about myself and the people left in my company?

[@tyrannicalsaint]

​@@ES50678Yes, in all seriousness. The way to ultimately protect yourself is to have a powerful union represent you and your colleagues interests.

[@sarahberkner]

​@@ES50678 My advice is you should seriously ask yourself if there is another problem you have with the company or with working there. It's not just about the money. People will work at jobs for years that they hate, and sometimes there is a reason, but sometimes there isn't; it just never occurs to them to leave. And I think that's odd, they spend so much time at work and didn't think to find a job that they actually like.

[@dittoleeo]

My mom is a high ranking business woman in corporate land. My life has basically been defined as being a stock or an employee. I present to you, terms I regularly heard when I was growing up (and still hear): "what's my return on investment?" "What's my business case?" "Come back with a proper pitch" "Your job is being a student" "Can you give me a time line?" "Put it in your 401k" "You need to strategize how to efficiently manage your time" "What's my profit margin?" She works so hard so that our family can be well off, but at what cost? I don't know what it means to be a person. Instead of love, I got material.

[@tomlxyz]

She can't turn that speak off in private? Sounds exhausting

[@daemoneko]

the worst cringe inducing corporate speak from last year's layoff season was "trim the fat" in the company its fkn sickening, when the "fat" they're referring to is people working in the company, and not the fattened million dollar salaries of executives who sit in meetings all day

[@WisecrackEDU]

Weird how the fat is always lower level employees and not the higher level employees who make the decisions that lead to the corporate losses . . .

[@Some_Average_Joe]

Yeah, that happened at my workplace last year. They cutback on key personnel to the point that we worked 70 hours a week (and no overtime pay, thanks maritime labor laws) and got only 1 day off. If one person called in sick they had to call in office people. Our HR person didn't realize how short handed we were until she got called in to cover for someone.

[@EmmaEquinox]

​@@Some_Average_Joe jfc where do you work? Sounds like slave labor to me my dude

[@method2madness961]

My company is currently calling it "cost base reductions" bro just say it like it is

[@shakenbacon-vm4eu]

@@Some_Average_Joeyou know it’s bad when HR realizes there’s exploitation going on

[@Waitwhat469]

Dude, paperwork and bureaucratic tasks being describes as "Deliverables" kills me. Like the fact I have to make a PowerPoint to explain to people what I am doing because they don't know what I actually do is mind-numbing enough, but making it a "key deliverable" that heightens to "what I am actually paid to do" makes me violent /jk but actually mad.

[@vebdaklu]

Ah, yes, the good old "deliverable". Because every goddamn move you make at work must be quantified and paid accordingly. It is a nightmare.

[@sarahberkner]

I just imagined you angrily flipping through a PowerPoint, and that made me chuckle, so thank you for that. If you haven't seen the Expert- Seven Red Lines video you should, you'll probably relate to it.

[@Waitwhat469]

@@sarahberkner My blood pressure is spiking thank you for vid recommendation lol Honestly, why is it actually like that?

[@TheHi-NoteFunClub-BeatsByMike]

​@@Waitwhat469 Because they are not bosses, they are your parents. Because they are not CEO's, they are heads of state. Because they are not venture capitalist share holders who make singular deliveries of capital and then, for eternity, expect ever increasing deliveries of capital in return without actively helping the company operate... After all they've been resting on day 7 for a while... They are God. And they aren't mad, as much as very disappointed when their "children" don't just shut up beyond "yes sir/ma'am - this shit sandwich is delicious." Microcosm of the macrocosm - when it's all just us. Strip away the veneer and what value does anyone with a soft pair of weak hands have other than being just another mouth to feed?

[@edwinbalero3473]

My favorite phrase that I'm constantly reintroducing to my manager is "manage your expectations". Anytime anyone in a position above me is dissatisfied with my performance I love to use it. I get away with because I have a strong work ethic but, I know my self worth. Work smarter not harder, especially for a minimum wage job. There will always be another.

[@BradTheProducer]

Thank you so, so, SO much for making this video. I've constantly been getting barraged by this kind of doublespeak for twenty years working in both tech and sales. Just today, I was subjected to not one but TWO company-wide Zoom meetings outlining a refocusing of priorities on strategic pillars to maximize the growth of synergy and advancement in our organizational family. I feel like the world is gaslighting me when I try to tell others on my team that they sound like robots when they talk like this and they act like I'M the one speaking a foreign language.

[@WisecrackEDU]

Glad you liked it! We definitely made this after also having to sit through those types of corporate meetings and losing our minds.

[@ceezy27]

Yeah that sucks but at the end of the day you have to be able to adapt to the worlds changes or get left behind. Business practices change slowly so it’s going to be awhile before things start to look different. Buckle up. :(

[@shakenbacon-vm4eu]

My sister (in tech) told of a meeting with the C suite going on about budget cuts…someone asked how they are addressing executive pay in the cuts. This was followed by crickets, then by that same dude getting laid off, plus more than 10% of the workers. C suite probably got bonuses.

[@patgriffith9176]

I remember the first time I heard the word "restructuring." Half my department was gone by the end of the day.

[@sarahberkner]

Sad. However I personally hate being bored at work and don't like working at a place that's overstaffed. And it seems like a lot of corporations are. But your company should have been more direct and apologetic, it sounds like.

[@BDWANNEMACHER]

I love how my first grader describes being fired or firing herself when her friends don't want to play or when she is done playing. It doesn't feel like a terrible dystopia.

[@mreek4875]

Kroned: getting eaten by your dad so he can avoid a prophecy of being deposed by his kid

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

*substitution jutsu with a rock*

[@user-po4jj9cx9l]

Cronus! "Saturn Devouring His Son," by Francisco Goya.

[@michaelmathews8376]

Huh. I immediately thought of someone doing naught things with a Cro-nut. Guess my mind just went straight to the gutter.

[@tomhancock8184]

Great video. I think it's clever how companies cajole their employees by calling them things like 'associate' or 'team members.' Just be honest and call them what they are - employees. The candor will be refreshing.

[@TerrorTerros]

Let's go even further and call them 'wage-slaves'😅

[@sarahberkner]

Cool, when you manage employees or run your own business (if you don't already) you can call them "the help" if you want lol

[@GregoryFord98]

This overview really touches up on the high-level action items.

[@PalmelaHanderson]

I've worked in bars my whole adult life. Around 2016 or so, I started working at this bar where the manager used corporate speak. Being able to cuss whenever I want is one of the main draws of working in a fucking bar. We just had a meeting on Monday, we drop f-bombs at least once every other sentence.

[@zenleeparadise]

I work at a bar and I cannot imagine anyone I work with taking someone like this remotely seriously. I feel like this guy would be bullied out of my workplace 😂 I love my coworkers so much

[@danielhahn55]

"Excuse me but we're not paid enough for that kinda english. Would you care to speak a language appropriate to a f*in bar?"

[@sarahberkner]

You use the F word? How original.

[@hazezero689]

One of Jim Henson's first puppet/muppet shows was a skit called Business Business, which poked fun at the silly yet pernicious prevalence of business jargon... Edit: also, there should be like a law, where if any time a corporation fires/downsizes/lays-off/lets-go/restructures/right-sizes over 100 people, a CEO that is paid over 300k a year, is also fired.

[@gmjjjones]

Corporate speak really does convince people that things are not as cruel as they are. The fact that I have to start by breaking down the language vs the action for my coworkers or Even managers to recognize the tangible effect of something is insane, and not part of my job description

[@vebdaklu]

Orwellian shit right there!

[@John-vp1ej]

I've seen plenty of wisecrack, but this topic hits HARD in this exact moment of human history. These tendencies towards self-commodification seem to bring a kind of self-interested calousness into day-to-day interactions. And weirdly enough, it creates another much more concerning race-to-the-bottom in the ways people socialise. We are all trying to be 'lean' with how we 'add-value/extract-value' from others, that we ignore/avoid the most essentially human (and broken) parts of ourselves and others for the sake of 'performance in this twisted modern market of interactivity... I'd say its a perfect example of contemporary Marxist 'alienation', but honestly, this is just a weak attempt at adding-value to a youtube comment section... the genuine lived experience of this reality is so alienating and defeating at a personal level that it just makes me want to sleep... forever. 🤷‍♀

[@yewknight]

Wow I feel this post. I've been losing ground to nihilism the last decade or so because, not only do I feel like interactions have become more utilitarian, but I feel the shift in myself to view relationships as value added opportunities and like I need to frame my personality to be valuable to people around me instead of just being my dorky self. It is insidious the way we soak up even the worst ideas without vigilance.

[@sarahberkner]

Ironically, you use a lot of big words, and I had a little trouble understanding your comment. I kind of understood that you were saying we see people as a commodity instead of human beings. I see people as human beings but I also prefer when people are professional in the workplace. If you act like you do not want to be there or you can't do your job, why don't you get a job that you like better? I'm not big on corporate jargon, I like to say what I mean. Also corporations are often very inefficient. It might seem like they want to make use of people for what they can bring to the company, but they're actually quite bad at that. If you're working at a place where people actually appreciate your strengths and trust you to do your job, I think it makes for a better work environment.

[@MrWillcapone]

Corpo-speak and therapy-speak from people who don't know a vertical from a flagpole are a damn plague.

[@vebdaklu]

*Copro-speak

[@CarnivoreYoghurt]

I live in Central Europe and work for an American corporation. I must say that as much as I hate this business newspeak, for someone for whom English is the second language, this is quite helpful. I can hide my disdain for our American overlords behind the sweet and empty words and phrases that they have designed themselves. I love that this crap can work both ways, because not only the management can masquerade their decision and actions using the jargon, but also I can bullshit my way through the the day, the week, the year with nice phrases and pretend to be absolutely innocent of any ill will.

[@flyinghawaiian007]

I used to find it silly that my team at work would spend 30 minutes discussing the word choice of a formal document when I can guarantee that whoever is going to be reading it wouldn't notice a single thing. Now, after five years in a business setting, I'm more or less dead inside and just let them do whatever they want however long they want to do it. After all, getting paid to sit around pondering the difference between "utilize" and "leverage" ain't that bad in the grand scheme of things.

[@sarahberkner]

To be fair, some people might notice the wording, even though you don't, not everyone thinks exactly the same as you. And legal documents have to be carefully worded. I don't know from your comment whether the changes were important, but I think it's the right choice for you to just let them do what they want, if you don't care but they do. Maybe get a job you actually enjoy while you're at it.

[@satyasyasatyasya5746]

I have ruined dates and casual chats with people by pointing out their "manager speak" and trying even gently to ask or prompt them to stop or reflect on what it is and why its in their heads. I feel so lonely sometimes, just doing what I can 1 on 1, to repel the corporatisation of EVERYTHING. Its so hard though.

[@vladutzuli]

Or perhaps you could reflect on how patronising it comes across for you to suggest others need to fix themselves and change the way they speak to suit your particular biases and preferences.

[@ag8454]

I mean, tbh why are you trying to change the speech patterns of people you barely know? I'd be upset too, even though I hate corporate speak myself.

[@markmaurer6370]

Remember, some people are sexualy attracted to work. For those of such orientation, significant others turn into sex buddies and/or therapists. I think you are serving yourself well to point out "managers speak" and being considerate of your dates reaction.

[@satyasyasatyasya5746]

@@vladutzuli Nice try but it isn't patronising at all, and nor is it to suit my preferences. You're literally running defence for the corpos right now. See folks, this is what is meant by damaged people defending the damage and the thing that damages them since it is all so normalised. You try to make me the bad guy for literally trying to slow or reverse actually bad things. I think you should reflect on what you've just tried to say.

[@satyasyasatyasya5746]

@@ag8454 Thats a strawman related to my reply to someone else. see that.

[@danny1959]

Magical thinking pervades corporate language.

[@LadyofBakerStreet]

Last year we had “right-sizing” instead of layoffs. It was my first time hearing that term. My flesh has been crawling ever since.

[@Eddyspeeder]

I feel so extremely validated by this. I've literally noticed allergic reactions like shuddering with words abused to describe things that they aren't. And the occasional bodily reflex of wanting to bash a person who just emitted such excrements from their mouth. Please also ditch "ramp up" from your vocabulary if something isn't physically being moved up a slope, or "roundtable" if you're not sitting at a table that is actually round. Not oval, round! And what on earth is a "world cafe"? Perhaps I hate "sprint" the most - the designation for agile software development cycles, counted in weeks. Sitting on your butt from 9 to 5 for X weeks for an incremental change in your work artifacts (such as software code) is the exact opposite of a lean runner crossing a fixed distance in as few seconds as their muscles will propel them forward. And don't get me started on "agile" itself - well, the video already did - because that word won't make the workers in the process train to become more mentally or physically agile. And because it can't be said enough: watch Office Space!

[@blargithonify]

Ain’t it funny how each sprint is immediately followed by another sprint? So then it’s a marathon? But then, marathoners don’t sprint the whole time. It’s basically make everyone work full blast all the time. Perpetual crunch time. Management can’t come up with meaningful deadlines, so they do sprints

[@sarahberkner]

I don't see a big problem with "ramp up" and "round table", that is a reference to "the knights of the round table". A bit pretentious maybe. It's fine if you get annoyed by metaphors, but they aren't inherently wrong. And if you want someone you work with to be more direct please ask them directly, one-on-one.

[@sarahberkner]

​@@blargithonify That's a good point, as an event planner I've noticed it's almost always better to get things started earlier, and you get in trouble when you leave things to the last minute.

[@AshleyWade]

You: having trouble relaxing? Here's an ad. Me: you were the one who stressed me out with all that jargon. 😅

[@WisecrackEDU]

oops

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

​@@WisecrackEDU😂😂😂😂😂

[@Acid_Viking]

Business talk can also be about prostrating yourself to the corporation. It's decidedly uncool and distances you from lower-echelon employees with healthy work-life balances, thereby assuring management that you're on their team.

[@SatyreIkon]

I work with business documents a lot. The sheer amount of brain-numbing meaninglessness that only serves to make managers feel important (when they really aren't) that's contained in them rots your mind from proximity alone. Thanks for making this a topic, now I can at least go through all that bull with a little more background understanding.

[@2gjones1]

The synergy of our unity Wisecrack maximizes my output for sure.

[@LonkinPork]

I'm an Engineer, though a pretty green one, still getting into the flow of Office life after graduation. My favorite is when someone's getting too deep in the weeds with technical stuff during a meeting, and whoever's running the meeting says they should "take this offline." It sounds like being told to go fight somewhere else, i.e. "you wanna take this outside?"

[@prettyflyforacompsci7725]

Of course you have to take it offline, you're actually being productive! Can't have that in a team meeting.

[@pennywaldrip3774]

Corporate-speak obscures the enshittification of our bullshit jobs by doing things like making massive layoffs sound like "improving efficiency." (my efficiency is not improved by doing 3 people's jobs at the same time) Also, I'm not sure this video has helped to synergize our throughput.

[@vebdaklu]

"Improving efficiency" just means "increasing profits for shareholders". And "shareholders" just means "greedy Kants".

[@Tristan_again]

Best comment I've read in a long time and will promote the word "enshittification"! 🎩

[@bhz8947]

@@Tristan_again It's well worth looking up what it was invented to describe.

[@zackcleveland4374]

Did "enshittefication" come out of It Could Happen Here?

[@jon66097]

A friend of mine works as a manager for a company that forces her to work every day under 12 dollars an hour. And even forces the entire workforce to go to "bonding staycations" once a month when literally no one wants it. No pay provided, of course. This company is so extreme that they don't allow their own staff to bring food from home, and this makes it difficult for my friend since she has health problems. As a result, the only way she could finally get a break was a doctor's note saying she was too sick to work.

[@sarahberkner]

I hope she is able to able to find a different job. Force is a strong word, if all of the employees decided not to go to the bonding thing, could they really do anything about it? I wonder if they could legally fire even one employee for not going to something like that. I'm a very good employee but I wouldn't feel pressured to go to it. I didn't feel pressure to go to my college graduation, while most people go without thinking about it. I think they're boring. It is possible she hasn't even thought of looking for a different job but she should, that is terrible pay nowadays for a manager, at least in the U.S.

[@Thefallenminecraftworld27075]

I feel like business speak overlaps in Therapy speak in how some people choose to resolve their friendships and its a kind of detached way of dealing with falling out with a friend.

[@ichirogutierrez4014]

I am a huge fan of the tv series "Corporate" that they are showing here. It is a dark comedy about the very topic they are covering in this episode, and I think it deserves cult following.

[@MikeCreech-UX]

@WisecrackEDU Once had a co-worker tell me and the rest of our team that we needed to, "Ideate synergistic opportunities."

[@th3n0rthsid3]

@wisecrack Good work distilling this subject and wrapping it up with actionable insights. You truly are an asset to the community, moving the needle and giving 110%. :D In all seriousness, thank you. If anything it is important to be aware and conscious of our behavior rather than just mirror what we hear. Great job!

[@Daysed.and.Konfuzed]

I can't believe there's not a single clip with Handsome Jack in this. In _Borderlands 2_ and _The Pre-Sequel_ there are so many hilarious jabs at corporate speak, as he uses it to make his supervillain ways seem like good and sensible business practices.

[@aaronbono4688]

My favorite business jargon is from the UK where they make people "redundant". Of course here in the states that word doesn't work because making people redundant is done by promoting them to management.

[@WisecrackEDU]

I do love that word more than getting fired. I'd much rather "be made redundant" than "get fired." Mostly because in the UK at least I would still have my health care.

[@amj.composer]

Corporate jargon isn't bullshit. You're just not a team player

[@techno56k]

The thumbnail alone with the words circling back, I hate the fact that I use that word in meetings sometimes because my manager used it every single moment in emails, in meetings. It was always, "Let me circle back." I got to circle back. I hated that word. However one day I was in a meeting and I used the word and I had to pause after I was done talking because I cringed so hard at the fact I used that word circling back. Over the years, my brother and myself have worked under support roles and one phrase that we use the most was "I do apologize for the inconvenience." We have a running joke where we would say that vs saying one moment or anything like that outside of work.

[@sarahberkner]

Circle back annoys me too, it especially would if someone used it all the time. But I don't mind apologizing for something, even if it wasn't my fault.

[@Slater2113]

I think it can be useful to maintain civil relationships with coworkers/clients who you don’t really want to befriend but you need enough real social interaction to ensure that you can turn it off. It seems like it can seep into your soul if work is the only time you talk to people and you don’t consume interesting culture to maintain your personality.

[@DavidHawsey]

I spent my first 6 years of work in the Navy, which has its own acronym-driven language. Then on to a nuclear utility, where science jargon is actually necessary for the most part. But then accidentally spent thirty years in higher education, serving ten different universities and colleges across the country. Higher education may be the worst offender, simply because they spend inordinate amounts of time exposing, investigating, exploring, categorizing, explaining and publishing papers about corporate jargon.....all the while inventing their very own brand of BS. Three hour cabinet meetings where every word used in this (excellent) video and found in comments below were used. Meetings could have ben 20 minutes had people just shut the heck up and use simple words. Higher education might have very well created a new language collection featuring every word from corporate-speak blended with DEI/woke jargon. I sure wish someone would shift this paradigm off a damn cliff.......

[@andydechamplain]

Office Space: Still one of my all-time favourite comedies. (Idiocracy too - funny you guys did vids on both those) .... Michael, you're being modest; you ARE a warrior... bravely talking to the camera (thousands of people) --- it's not nothin'. :) ... I remember when I first heard the term 'remunerated' in a staff meeting. I looked it up later to make sure it really meant what I thought.... I was like, holy f**k, what wouldn't ya just say 'PAID"? ... Keep it up, bro. ... And I don't know what 'suite C' means - but it should mean the passing grade that comes in your report card when you were expecting an F. ... All my love and respect; keep moving the noodle

[@joshuajohnson9594]

The idea of debt as a moral failing and the market value of one's self worth are ideas I have struggled with. Why should you never mix business and family? When is money more important than the relationships you care for and cherish? Can we decide that people are always more valuable than money or stuff? What I am trying to say is thank you for putting this in one place.

[@sarahberkner]

I would say people are more valuable. However in our society people need money to live. And money is a neutral thing that can be used for good or bad. Some people mismanage their money instead of being good stewards of it. And that bothers me, that's not helping anyone, especially if they have to be bailed out by others but don't see how it could have been prevented. And about self-worth. I believe that people have intrinsic worth because they were created by God. But I also think you shouldn't waste your talents and expect everything to be handed to you without contributing to the world IF you can. For me it's more enjoyable to be productive and be at a job where I feel needed. But not for everyone.

[@peterr.7641]

Wow thank you for this video. I thought I was the only person that hates corp-speak!

[@WisecrackEDU]

Nope, we hate it with you!

[@GreenSoul693]

I love when they try to hide that they want to exploit you with nice wording and they present a total commitment to the company as an asset or even a moral value, all while they sell a we care about you. I do believe there are sustainable ways to have healthy work environments, I think we need to learn about respect and stop the gaslighting.

[@onemouthymerc]

I remember getting a job at Subway years ago and thinking the title of "Sandwich Artist" was such a load of corporate bullshit.

[@thevoidlookspretty7079]

Corpo talk is the most infuriating set of words I’ve ever heard. “Sticking out your gyat for the rizzler, you’re so skibidi, you’re so fantam tax” didn’t have as strong an effect on me as the phrase “table this” does.

[@DJKokaKola]

..... What.

[@thevoidlookspretty7079]

@@DJKokaKola I don’t care for corporate euphemisms.

[@GiantRobotIdeon]

Blatantly ripping a comment from Krazam's "Leadership Sync": Great synergistic energy, Wisecrack team! You really delivered value with your content but we've identified some clear roadblockers, so let’s sync up offline and go over it. I’ll put four hours on your calendar.

[@WisecrackEDU]

Yikes.

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

​@@WisecrackEDUyikes

[@yewknight]

I'm definitely picking up some books from the bibliography. You put language to part of the dark side of being an American. We are constantly being pushed to view our lives and relationships through the lens of productivity and economic opportunity instead of enrichment and fulfillment.

[@sarahberkner]

When people say they are pushed to do something by society, that actually says something about them. I don't feel pushed to do things that I notice other people doing just because it's popular, I just find myself confused as to why they do stuff that doesn't make any sense. You don't have to go along with what others do if you think It's wrong, And I would agree that only seeing your friends as dollar signs so to speak is wrong. However, businesses do exist to make money, and ideally the customers, employees, local community, CEO, and the owner will all come out ahead. I know someone who's a nice person but their business is failing because they don't care enough, and that's no good either. Sorry for the long comment.

[@GreatRustavo]

I attended an all hands meeting the other day for work and heard the word “synergy” I roll my eyes at that word every single time

[@terriblefrosting]

I work in a big corporation. This video causes me actual pain.

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

Your videos are awesome! Love ya wisecrack❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@kevinjenkins8169]

Wait what if my boss starts saying, "I love wisecrack!" Should I let that into my vocabulary?!

[@petecoogan]

Wise crack is just powdered cocaine. Crack is just dumb Cocaine

[@richteffekt]

That is the meaning of change management, I suppose. Best to innocuously drop yourself it during stand up. Show'em you're an early adopter and fast paced mover.

[@JasonX909]

There is no way your boss loves Wisecrack, especially if they see this

[@nobbie01]

my brain shuts down every time i have to hear people business jargon

[@ModernConversations]

Wow, you really gave that 110%. Good job Michael.

[@rini6]

Thanks for including a lot of scenes from “Corporate.”It is a severely under rated satire that everyone should watch.

[@stebbenwolfe]

Aww the sea suite. The calming room in the company that has a cool sea theming to it.

[@f.osborn1579]

This video already feels like it will shift the paradigm

[@WisecrackEDU]

We're just trying to push the needle

[@JackofAllGraves]

I was genuinely concerned for a moment that the RoboCop clip would cut before we saw the long arms. Phew. Good job, team.

[@Rhyno012345]

"Um, how else can I say it? You're being let go, your department's being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option... Take your pick. I got more."

[@sarahberkner]

I don't know if anyone got the emperor's new groove quote but I did.

[@yousifnash5378]

“Piggy backing and what you’re saying” and “Circling back” are my top two

[@shinaikouka]

I don't really mind a lot of business jargon, but the one that usually grates on me is "ping". "I'll go ping him about it." Why not just say "ask" instead? They're both one-syllable words. There's also the odd habit where I see people attempt to turn the name of software/services into a verb similar to what we do with Google. It would be like saying "Let me Teams him and see what he says" instead of "Let me message him and see what he says."

[@hayuseen6683]

Ping is a computer networking tool. Used generally to mean touching base in IT and geek circles, I wonder if it was co-opted by business people overhearing IT people?

[@SUBKOLOR]

i accidentally did that thing where I spoke like this ironically and then it started happening naturally and now I'm being called out in this video haha...Thanks Wisecrack, love yall.

[@chadjones1266]

Makes me think of that Weird Al song "leverage core synergy while maximizing our synergies!"

[@MCSorry]

Thank you Michael for continuing to justify my ever-worsening depression. It's all about mind-control, it's always been about mind-control, and I always feel like I'm going crazy when I try to explain it to someone else.

[@skadforlife7857]

I love the questions he asks ❤

[@samhickman3813]

15:53 It’s 2024! It isn’t “downsizing” anymore, the term you are looking for is “rightsizing”. I have heard it twice in the last two weeks and I’m so excited the new year started with a new bullshit word. We need Carlin now more than ever! (And not AI Carlin)

[@WisecrackEDU]

rightsizing?!? yikes.

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

​@@WisecrackEDUYIKES

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

Love ya wisecrack!❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@digimaster07]

This was a really enjoyable and insightful video. I loved how playful Michael got with using business speak lmao

[@ahmedabdelfattah1749]

I FUCKING LOVE THE RESEARCH you carry to get this out

[@trklsswndr]

Gawwwd, the last "Family" company I worked at ex-communicated me ~ Ha. It was the most Cult-ish place I ever worked and had All those StoOpiD motivational posters on the walls. I fortunately now work at very small (thankfully non-family) business that Does Real Stuff. I knew I was in the right place when my on-boarding gift was a mug that says: Transcend the Bullshit. Now, THAT is the Right kind of Business-speak as I see it. This particular show made me laugh a LOT!

[@iansaxby9264]

This is why I'm glad I'm self employed.

[@WisecrackEDU]

We hope you never look in the mirror and downsize yourself.

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

❤❤❤❤❤​​@@WisecrackEDUsame

[@johndrotar4281]

I've developed communications for large companies and forbid the use of nebulous corpote jargon in all comms. I strode for clear, concise, and honest because people are fatigued by the fear of not knowing what "restructure activities to activities" means to them individually

[@Hubris030]

When you *become* the corporate jargon...

[@jlrob85]

Corporate jargon is similar to relationship posts on social media. The longer it is, the more suspicious you have to be.

[@jcam5]

My grandma used to work for Pac Bell but she got laid off just when she has only 1 year left to retirement. So unfair.

[@WisecrackEDU]

That is absolute BS.

[@pb_and_nutella]

Seeing Thomas Middleditch in the background of Wolf of Wall Street knowing he then went on to play the lead role in Silicon Valley is beautiful, it's like a whole character's life stretched across two completely unrelated movies and tv shows; this video is very Politics and the English Language by George Orwell, great essay, also Carlin on shell shock vs PTSD

[@billyfugate4823]

Given the topic, I don't know how you got through "psycho-acoustic principles" in that ad read. I would have started laughing at the absurdity every time.

[@rubberface1424]

Here's some fun trivia for rock n' roll enthusiasts: At the end of James Gang's "Take A Look Around" you can hear the band members haphazardly say a lot of these (compatible, third generation, balance, policy, synchronized, management, programming, contingencies, etc.) A great little time capsule of late '60s buzzwords that they already thought were annoying!

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

Comment for the algorithm

[@PetersonSilva]

Graeber is Wisecrack's favourite anthropologist? amazing, love this channel even more now

[@curiousdoodler5509]

I was listening to this in the background while working so this might have been mentioned and I missed it, but I kinda like corporate speak because it helps separate home and work. If you don't let the language follow you home, that code switching helps my brain separate the two. If I start talking about synergy at home, I know I'm still in work brain and need to decompress more.

[@michaelizatt6274]

As someone with Crohn's disease, I think kroning is when you have diarrhea during the most significant moments of your life; such as your college graduation, or the first time you have sex

[@BenjamenMcCauley]

Michael, you are a warrior! A warrior on the front lines of a battle for the human mind. The enemy is complacency and you fight it with novelty. Keep finding new ways to tell us old ideas so that people can learn from history instead of repeating it.

[@soze_vanhouten]

Watching this as our company town hall kicks off. First slide title.... "SYNERGY"

[@rumidude]

Metrics, not really corporate speak so much as a system of evaluation; everything has to be quantified. But I absolutely HATE that word and it's use in business. It represents the idea that a person's worth to the corporation can be given a number or series of numbers. I remember getting into a frustrating conversation with my manager during a quarterly evaluation. He was throwing numbers at me and I was asking him, am I a good employee, do I do good work? All the while he ignored my questions and simply read back numbers to me.

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

I was a volunteer executive at a charity and the board members were all these Finance guys. Without fail, one of the guys would say something about reaching a certain level in a way that was just like you're talking about. He would just say it every single meeting. He didn't have an idea of how to do it or what it even meant

[@lorriechristian7164]

Always be Wisecracking

[@pif5023]

Another banger video! In time of peace the ability to reframe perception is perhaps the strongest of powers!

[@meatwax]

In corporations they have disinformed and distorted language to such a degree that "manipulation" is "motivation" Its equally insidious, amd childish. Littering is gross and selfish, so we called them "litterbugs" to deter children. Same thing

[@sanoaoshi3]

Great research! I'll send over my notes and provide some feedback, but first I need to finish reading this memo on non-violent communication so I can provide the right nuance.

[@macbuff81]

Don't ever think you're more than just a line item on expense sheet if you work for a corporation. There is no loyalty. Look out for yourself and your loved ones and build your own path. I didn't for a while and it cost me dearly, both professionally and more importantly, in my personal life and the relationships that make it mean something.

[@-Subtle-]

It's the same in public ed and universities and taxpayers are being taken for a ride. I teach in a district that employs 3 people for every 2 teachers. Once you eliminate food services, transportation, payroll/ personnel, IT, maintenence and custodial, you'll find the most egregious salaries amongst the admin.

[@repposhpress1633]

after workin in an office for far too long i can safely say the degree corp speak is used at lower levels is equal to the amount of garbage an employee is going to experience. Your boss wanna be the next CEO and doesn't give a fk about u? Corp Speak. Also, if anyone ever drops "family" during a job interview, run.

[@Mechadondada]

There’s a huge KAIZEN mural (continuous improvement) painted on our factory floor. I’ve always wanted to add a tiny “Eien no shitsubō” (everlasting disappointment) which is sure what they really mean.