Police Say School Shooter Had History Of School Shootings

[@jacobhood5703]

“Yesterdays shooting may have only been a cry for help”

[@silent_stalker3687]

“Help, he’s got a gun!”

[@TruckTaxiMoveIt]

Help I've been shot and I can't get up

[@kingkazma5937]

Sometimes I look at someone and think that there's no way they would shoot up a school more than once but I was Wrong

[@fodebic5253]

I'm scared this guy could be a school shooter: kzbin.info/www/bejne/onTPaHxtpdOaZpo

[@kingkazma5937]

@@fodebic5253 well we just have to wait and see

[@natesullivanw24]

He shoots up a few schools and is labeled a school shooter for the rest of his life? We’ve all been teenagers before. Cut him a break!

[@uhuh.2232]

Libs I tell ya

[@mikeharrison1868]

He probably likes beer. Doesn't everyone like beer?

[@steroidsR4losers]

--> "Robbie Parker SMILING!"

[@leocastro2732]

just boys being boys

[@steroidsR4losers]

Just looks like all the other FAKE shootings they show us...

[@paulbeahm3891]

I once knew a guy with a history of suicide bombings

[@Other_Stuffs]

AgentMinor ReligionBrigade 🤔

[@GlamStacheessnostalgialounge]

He wasn't very good at it, I presume?

[@paulbeahm3891]

@@GlamStacheessnostalgialounge he was not. In fact I would call him a total failure.

[@Poppenheimer69]

Me too. Every time something wont go his way, he would say "I dont even need virgins for this" and do his thing. Pretty annoying actually.

[@Paulchristico]

AgentMinor ReligionBrigade this was a really entertaining comment thread

[@JetstreamKody]

I've done research on this topic and i found out that 100% of school shootings take place within grounds of school. I think this is a clear sign showing that a school environment must promote shootings which is why i think we should ban kids from schools

[@Senoxis]

Definitely, we must protect schools from children!! Theyre evil!!

[@asscrackoreos9323]

Precisely

[@deleted-something]

Exactly

[@kamewantor4594]

Mf really believes school system is good and can't serve as one of the factors of cultivating a school shooter

[@JetstreamKody]

@@kamewantor4594 that is true

[@oxiclean3162]

Memorial will be built as soon as last year’s memorial is completed

[@cypher_2259]

Lmao

[@themagnus2919]

In 2016 you needed a new memorial EVERY WEEK...

[@Nickelodeon81]

We had to rebuild the memorial after it was riddled with bullets from the recent mass shooting.

[@X3_lelouch1970]

Thanks oxi clean

[@luvsacaru2894]

this is, well, too true

[@deathgripgaming1858]

"He was a bit unusual but I never thought he would do anything like this again" lol

[@Interestingworld4567]

DEATH TRIPS "again"

[@keenanhaug8814]

Lol

[@LuisSierra42]

Subtle but effective

[@HectorMartinez-cl6xn]

Fbi , CIA all failed or just let him keep on doing this or even push him into a shooting fuck the system

[@chrism7275]

LMFAOOOO

[@yes3443]

1st time mass shootings are usually just a silent cry for help. Its the 4th or 5th mass shooting that has consequences.

[@LS-qt9bo]

Yeah I'd say take away their phone for a day, but you gotta watch out, take it for to long and his mental health may start deteriorating

[@calebconde7654]

@@LS-qt9bo Exactly , if anything it was the schools fault , clearly not noticing the signs that he may have been planning something . I mean just look at the state of his handwriting, clearly something was bovering him.

[@bro-pf5yl]

@@calebconde7654 and notice the way he was wearing black playing video games, and the way he was holding the gun, he obviously must've had some past trauma

[@3taktmotor]

Very silent

[@qualityshitposter9314]

@@bro-pf5yl I got it. Ban all video games and black clothes.

[@dixonpinfold2582]

It's sobering to realize that even in 2023 there remains a stigma associated with being a school shooter.

[@chickentoucher55]

It’s horrible such fascists!

[@J040PL7]

The horror, prejudices never end.

[@travelingman5146]

We should be able to express ourselves however we want!

[@blackfalkon4189]

unfair :(

[@J040PL7]

@@blackfalkon4189 #AllKillsMatter

[@andrejapaunic4761]

"teacher who knew him for three years and was shot by him eleven times"

[@Tjalve70]

They didn't say over how long period, and how many occations the teacher was shot. If the teacher was shot at 11 different occations, then clearly he should have had the experience to see when the poor kid was about to shoot again. So clearly the teacher is to blame here.

[@andrejapaunic4761]

@@Tjalve70 yes i completley agree

[@HoosierDaddyCFB]

This poor kid. Having to shoot people 11 times just for help

[@Tjalve70]

@@HoosierDaddyCFB Well, if at first you don't succeed......

[@thatredditdude1971]

@@Tjalve70 as the saying goes, " what doesn't kill you makes you... stronger ". That teacher probly immune to bullets by now.

[@Justin_Joy]

Maybe he's just trying to beat his highscore from the previous shootings.

[@jwalcheski]

🍄

[@killian9314]

@Aiden Pearce oh no, not Gary

[@yzhiel2680]

Go up in the comment biatch

[@nickbenkster]

@LUQMAN HAZIQ BIN SAIFUL AZWAL - did he shoot a midget?

[@ilikepigeons6101]

lmao

[@smaller_cathedrals]

"I never thought I'd see him do anything like this again." That subtle "again" at the end is what really elevates The Onion above all other satire outlets.

[@lukewatson8848]

@Tatsujiro Kurogane We are called to forgive 70*7 times, so he has about 486 times left before we should really intervine.

[@horseman4now]

Check out the "Babylon Bee."

[@mayorbeetlejuice4841]

It ain’t satire it’s real news now

[@irishchriswolf1284]

Tatsujiro Kurogane our country as a whole isn’t the problem, I feel like the federal government should invest more money into youth mental health organizations to prevent shootings in the future.

[@CatGuy969]

out...lets...

[@luxuryballer8291]

There should be a 3 strikes law. After 2 school shootings there needs to be some sort of conversation with the child's parents about what kinds of music they listen to at home.

[@Walleyedwosaik]

Or and this might be a stretch we don't give children guns

[@luxuryballer8291]

@@Walleyedwosaik commie.

[@c99kfm]

@@Walleyedwosaik Then how are they supposed to protect themselves against bad kids with guns? If guns for tots is made illegal, only criminal tots will have guns!

[@gaminganimators7000]

​@@Walleyedwosaikwtf? No, that's their God given right!

[@Reignor99]

@@Walleyedwosaik how will they defend themselves from bullies?

[@Kaizoku_apex]

"It's important not to jump to conclusions here"

[@charlesyetman7733]

America

[@emilystevens6055]

this comment is so clever

[@Cinnamontoastcrunch1029]

@@emilystevens6055 actually they say this in the video

[@Ergo8152]

Absolutely 😮

[@theguy3406]

I think it's time to finally take action and make school shootings illegal. Controversial, yes, but it is the just thing to do, no matter what the boy had gone through. A week of probation would be good for him.

[@santsthetoaster]

I feel like they should also make it illegal for kids to have guns. When you walk into Walmart and go into the toy's section there's a lot of blue and orange guns! It's engaging how stores just label guns as "harmless toys"!

[@miguelwsth]

@@santsthetoaster exactly! this is probably why kids are so violent these days..

[@mr.randomperson9900]

God I think we should ban violent video games. They cause violence. He played minecraft and must’ve killed a cow. God our world is disgusting. All kids think they can shoot anyone and everyone. Just because they did it in a video game.

[@gregorytimmons4777]

It's a pandemic man! Have them do week ends and that's it.

[@Knoah321]

Boycott school shootings!!

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

Who're we to judge him? Maybe he will start a shooting again, and maybe he won't. That's a chance I am willing to make them take.

[@Onefuturist]

Wowie you're not only in anime and loli vid comments

[@AdolfHitler-pm3lc]

bundycamp Its a joke

[@physical_insanity]

Just Some Guy with a Mustache Always turn the other cheek, as the Good Lord said. No wait, that's from Ghost Stories!

[@mkultrasoldier]

r/woosh

[@ShowtimeAtWaco]

Niall Asher wrong sub

[@ray.deathray]

It’s worth reminding people that correlation doesn’t equal causation. When I was a child, I played a lot of violent video games and experimented by doing a school shooting, but I never even came close to doing a second school shooting. In fact, studies have shown that the vast majority of school shooters only do it once in their lifetime. I think we should be putting the blame on parents for second, third, and fourth school shootings.

[@kecksbelit3300]

Bro even one is too much

[@krueger92]

@@kecksbelit3300 Yea, but everyone deserves a couple more chances.

[@kecksbelit3300]

@@krueger92 yeah but we should put blame on the parents even when the kid only does 1 school shooting. It's a massive failure if the kid thinks it's a good idea to shoot in a school

[@vangroover1903]

@@kecksbelit3300 Sometimes practice makes perfect, and Americans can be notoriously slow learners (it's all that junk food and diet pop)

[@berserkagain7976]

ah i remeber my first school shooting like it was yesterday. I was in kindergarten. I only hit 2 targets out of the 20 in my classroom but now with more knowledge and experience I can hit all 20 easily now.

[@wimpwampwomp]

So we're just supposed to believe people are stranglers just because they've been caught strangling? Rude. And discriminatory.

[@jefferyepstein4381]

Twitter agrees

[@Ssman8078]

300th like! hmm no one cares.

[@Mngalahad]

you can build a thousand bridges and no one will call you a bridge builder.

[@wimpwampwomp]

@@Mngalahad Just because you 'fly planes' and 'have a certificate' and 'have earned Air Force wings' and 'just came back from an air patrol over Syria' doesn't mean you're a pilot

[@NickTQ101]

Honestly that's racist

[@SuperEagles97]

"Memorial Will Be Built As Soon As Last Year's Memorial Is Completed" 😂😂😂

[@GamerSpite]

Kevin S 10/10

[@avalanchefan7497]

That's what I was just about to say lol!

[@steven_003]

Kevin S *9/11

[@ruofanyu6699]

These days it's as soon as last week's

[@bryanmartinez6600]

Ennui Boringcone next up on *BRIDGE COMMITS MURDER*

[@AdityaPrasad007]

I'd like to believe The Onion simply picks up stray TV signals from parallel universes.

[@yuehhtewbb427]

To what, prevent kids from owning guns? The 2nd amendment already does that.

[@AdityaPrasad007]

@@AlbertZiegler069 but you'd not say what was said in the video right? What would it take for you to support amending it?

[@AdityaPrasad007]

@@AlbertZiegler069 that's great, you being so honest but other than a close family member dying would nothing else work? I'm curious to know, do you think that the right to keep and bear arms is more important for your nation in the long term notwithstanding the evidence that it is a factor that contributes to gun violence? So if we banned guns, we would see less people dying every year. So do you say yes, I understand people die but we can't give up that right since the alternative is (state tyranny unchecked? What's your thoughts here)

[@AdityaPrasad007]

@@AlbertZiegler069 or do you contest the claim that gun control is effective at all! Are you saying that banning guns won't stop these crazies, they will just find other ways to kill people? In that line of thought, would be opposed to the Dickey Amendment which forbids any research into Gun control?

[@AdityaPrasad007]

@@AlbertZiegler069 you wouldn't have to watch your family die under gun violence and still not support gun control to be called a monster. Just the fact that you wouldn't balk at other people's kids dying is sociopathic and can earn you the label of monster. But it's possible you actually care about the 2nd amendment for a good reason, I think it's unlikely cause usually we humans want something for our selfish pleasures, or because change is difficult for us. It's tradition. We then look for reasons to back up what we want. We rarely honestly try to decide what we should want.

[@Bloooo95]

“I never thought he’d do something like this again” 💀💀💀

[@johnraltenburg9398]

I once had a friend that killed himself, after his death the police found that he had a past history of suicides. I still choke up about it to this day. how could I have seen this coming?

[@rey7014]

That's horrible! I'm so sorry for your loss, nobody would have expected this to happen

[@OpickHidayato]

Next time You should prevent your friend from doing suicide again

[@cupcakesbiggestfan7954]

I really, really, really, really, really, like your pfp

[@liljatupsu]

@@cupcakesbiggestfan7954 I like it too

[@cupcakesbiggestfan7954]

@a random person How could you SAY something SOO insensitive?!? OBVIOUSLY it's serious!!!! Why else would someone share such a sad story about their friend and their history of suicides!!! RIP 😢

[@shadfig7876]

Seriously? Would you get mad at a professional wrestler, who's wrestling? At a professional electrician, who's taking care of your electrics? So why are people offended by a professional school shooter doing his job?

[@vorpalweapon4814]

Lol

[@tadtranclere3729]

He’s in school so not a professional. He’s an intern or hobbyist at best.

[@frankwest5388]

Tad Tranclere dude I’ve seen grown up mass shooters kill less people in a day. If anything he is a genius murdering mind trapped in the body of a sub paar murderer student. Who is way ahead of his peers, in killing people.

[@tadtranclere3729]

Frank West Perhaps he is gifted, but I won’t consider him gifted until he’s gotten a degree in it.

[@oldbatwit5102]

Jealousy

[@pxter]

"He was a bit unusual but I guess I never thought I'd see him do something like this *again* "

[@nathanmalik1697]

I died at "again".

[@Weegiest_beegi]

@@nathanmalik1697 not the only person who died when he did it again

[@TheEnergizer94]

Yea if the title didn't give it away I would actually have been surprised

[@not.tied-skip3337]

keyword "again"

[@shadowfox3442]

@@Weegiest_beegi OOOO

[@jeffoneto278xd]

Watching this in school right now and my teacher just looked over my shoulder and made a face. Pray for me.

[@Pleasestoptalkingthanks]

You’re kind of an idiot. Have some respect for your fellow students and teachers.

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

FBI pullup

[@rienn8559]

same

[@nicolecrismon]

"Red flags missed: Played video games, was a known murderer..."

[@GamesCooky]

Nothing wrong with that. That was in the past. It was never certain he would actually do it again.

[@me-tj5vr]

@@GamesCookyi hate people like you Playing video games is satanic and evil

[@GamesCooky]

@@me-tj5vr Yes well i am satanic and evil. But you got one thing wrong. You can't generalize me with others like that. Because there is no people like me. Just like how there is no people like you.

[@thelivingdead1728]

@@me-tj5vr Bruh wut you talking bout Jesus himself played Doom during his high school years

[@YataTheFifteenth]

@@thelivingdead1728 Doom is a certified christian game though. A priest said so.

[@olamideadio]

The beauty of Onion is that they do everything with a straight face.

[@anisomniac5931]

@internet person Sad but true. Underneath all those layers of irony lays a lot of truth. Unlike regular news where they would rather lie straight to your face.

[@toamatau8785]

That's what satire is.

[@anactualplant9574]

That’s called acting buddy

[@anactualplant9574]

The beauty of the show is the writing, not the actors who are literally just reading lines

[@unhinged9720]

I personally do everything with a gay face.

[@dontlikesand1955]

Teenagers often lash out. Just let boys be boys.

[@7.62flavorsoffreedom2]

If you dont do this to your bullies you are a failure to the wartime generations

[@7.62flavorsoffreedom2]

If you dont do this to your bullies you are a failure to the wartime generations

[@EojinsReviews]

@@7.62flavorsoffreedom2 bruh

[@7.62flavorsoffreedom2]

@@EojinsReviews idk why it spam posted 3 times. I didnt even notice lol

[@ikeashelf7308]

I cant tell if this is a joke or not,if it is lol

[@64MilestotheGallon]

Such wise people. One should never be defined by their previous school shootings

[@jeffkeenan5059]

Especially in California

[@bigbuba5212]

Such acceptance is what America needs

[@chromosome2661]

2009: this is just a joke 2019: *laughing nervously*

[@dallasconfidential9619]

Chromosome missing

[@marjechevarez790]

* eyes sweating hysterically

[@SlowUptakes]

A kid at my school had a kill list . He got 2 months of alternative school and was back like nothing happened. I got into a fight and got 4 months.

[@bananya6020]

"The American school system and society is prosperous, and friendly to anyone who may want to be different, or innovate. Wait, what are monopolies again?"

[@GlAsseshalf]

Its actually better than it was in 09

[@shnyfan6609]

I don't know why they jumped into the conclusion that he will carry out another shooting so fast. I means after successfully did it twice, why would he do another time? So judgmental, these people

[@seanseanston]

ikr; who's to say that someone who'd committed previous school shootings would not in fact be LESS likely to commit another?

[@wellesradio]

Threepeat. It's like back to back to back basketball championships.

[@JesusChrist-qw3zt]

Is that what you means?

[@angel-gu8co]

Shny Fan i know! they're just trying to ruin his future :'(

[@McGyver777ATGMAIL]

...and they are forgetting the planning it takes, years of writing in notebooks and creating lists of who to kill and in the proper order take time. It is so not easy to get these things done in a way where you aren't left with a handful of deaths, which, let's face it, won't even make the national news.

[@Chaosfury50]

This is absolutely NOT FUNNY!!! My friend died in a school shooting. He bled out from over 30 bullet holes from his final shootout with the SWAT department :'(

[@chrisreynolds6391]

Lol

[@jodinha4225]

Haha just respawn nooooob

[@loganmazzuchelli7258]

Lmfao

[@davianhernandez479]

Lmao

[@TheDanubeDepleter]

Took a second to register but damn it thays funny lol

[@rtemper]

One day I pray that people will be defined not by their previous school shootings, but by the content of their character

[@slouch186]

still relevant

[@realkenpriest]

Maybe more so.

[@slouch186]

Comrade Dyngus lmao

[@dt534]

And will be next week!

[@royalspin]

Daniel Trigo And the week after that..

[@dt534]

royalspin All year long!

[@theodorebear6714]

That's just like my son, Jimmy! I'm trying to get him to go to therapy after he shot up his 7th school! I can't get this kid to stop. I'm worried my son will get into trouble eventually. Maybe he's just addicted and I can't help him.

[@tunnelsnake420]

*Theodore Bear* here is what i did to get little marcus to stop: Get a spray bottle, wait for him to plan his next shooting, spray him with the spray bottle, rinse, repeat.

[@PPandaPete]

O he'll be fine. The news always exaggerate. Just because he shot a school once mustn't mean anything. Weren't we all a bit antisocial back in the day?

[@skg8399]

maybe its just a phase

[@JK-ei7wr]

Same, bro! I’ve had to put my son Adolph through a bunch of schools, private and public alike. I remember the police asked me to send him to a therapist after his fourth or so…I think it was a school called Columbine? I can’t be sure. I think on that one, he helped put bombs in the school’s infrastructure or something? I don’t know. Honestly, I think he truly is a good kid and is simply going through a phase. Can someone help me out here? Anyone know any good therapists/doctors?

[@malikmister]

You better hope it is just a phase. I thought it was just a phase when my boy started shooting up his schools. I thought he would grow out of it, so I never put him in therapy. Now that he is an adult out of school, he has escalated to shooting up malls. He still lives at home, and I think he might be doing drugs. This morning, when he grabbed his duffel bag and said he was going to hang out at the mall, I searched his room. You wouldn't believe what I found! In his dresser, under a sheet of paper labeled "plans to shoot up hospital" I found MARIJUANA! The NERVE of that boy! I'm going to give him one hell of a talking to!

[@mr.brightsidesview482]

1:25 That's terrible.... his handwriting I mean, it's just awful.

[@Speed001]

It's not that bad

[@mr.brightsidesview482]

It was more about the joke buddy.

[@upstreamtoast3512]

It’s better then mine

[@andersencooper9780]

I write WAY worse

[@gammarayneutrino8413]

The letters have so many edges... Edgy.

[@Holdonjustoneminute]

“He was a bit weird, but I never thought he’d ever do it again.” Hilarious

[@ultimatedude5610]

Yeah

[@Chungussy]

You can tell this is fake, they didn't blame video games once. Edit: oh they did. Definitely real now.

[@SiisKolkytEuroo]

Watch again, they did.

[@Chungussy]

@@SiisKolkytEuroo ah yeah. Didn't see it last time. Damn it.

[@forehand101]

0:48

[@mariosellsbarrie]

I’m the exactly 1.1K liker

[@bobobsen]

Just like that idiot Trump

[@YouTube_MusicStyle]

He'd always point his rifle at us in gym class, we just never thought he'd follow through with it.

[@Ira.1]

Yeah of course. There is nothing wrong with pointing rifle at students during gym class. It's America and he has the freedom to do whatever he wants. He was just expressing his individuality.

[@TimberlandStomper420]

@@Ira.1 liberals will hate this comment Cancel me all you want

[@reywashere5284]

... again

[@DioBrando-gn3nb]

@@TimberlandStomper420 dawg what ☠️

[@halloweenfan158]

@@TimberlandStomper420 why would liberals get mad at that comment

[@mrcteddy20]

I can't believe the "news people" can do this with a straight face lol :)

[@ScoutGuy]

So true, fucking great actors

[@movsestimiryan3854]

Stormlight --- Yeah, I remember unsuccessfully attempting to imitate all this with a straight face. That's real talent.

[@Char12403]

It's not one continuous take.

[@kevinhamutov8778]

Stormlight probably had to do multiple takes before getting the right tone and facial expressions before final take.

[@andysalinas162]

That’s what they get paid too do. There professionals

[@samsibbens8164]

I've touched a piano four or five times in my life, yet they don't call me a pianist. Why are they calling him a school shooter? smh

[@HalasterBlackCloak-u2w]

I wish i had a piano growing up that would be dope. Id grow up mozart style. We arent that classy though around here. Ben Shapiro hangs with tommy mcdonald

[@JontyLevine]

I had a son who shot up several schools when he was younger. But when I eventually got through to him, I found that all he needed was to channel his passion for shooting into something more creative. He's a successful architect now. I swear, school shooters get such a bad rap these days, it's unreal.

[@mahawailoh]

preach brother

[@PHOBlIA]

Did you convince him to pursue a career in shooting up universities? I am trying to get through to my son that you can commit a mass shooting anywhere if you set your mind to it

[@theuncalledfor]

Wait, how does a passion for shooting translate into architecture? WHAT KIND OF BUILDINGS DOES HE DESIGN, JONTY

[@JontyLevine]

How does it not?

[@theawkwarddolphin4752]

@@theuncalledfor mostly schools

[@viztep5070]

1:04 totally should have just not mentioned the gun and only talked about how the dark clothing and skull, that would make it way funnier.

[@tonylastname4752]

They should hire you lol

[@emol8457]

”Look at the skull on his sweatshirt, and the dark colour” yes of course everyone with dark clothes are school shooters

[@amazeinrunar]

Emol it’s satire

[@pallandoromestamo8861]

Well, they only talked about how he holds the gun, not about the gun itself...

[@brendenbrown7666]

Pallando Rómestámo Oh yeah, haha

[@hellogoodnite8447]

I just couldn’t understand how such an innocent boy can be the school shooter. His mental state and his history of school shootings proves nothing, stop trying to dig up someone’s past just to make money off of it. The nerve of these people.

[@RomeinG.1918]

This vid is a joke bro

[@smokingthereefer92]

he always came off as really sweet. I was one of the few who could hang out with him. He'd buy her roses after beating the shit out of her after school. Broke her arm once but she told me that she deserved it. How'd she smile and show all the missing teeth he knocked out any time he would come around during school. They seemed like the most romantic couple. Probably could of made Homecoming King & Queen if he would of just waited until after to shoot up the school

[@dripkidd8572]

Cancel culture does that, and it sickens me. Just because someone shot up a school 31 times, doesnt mean he will do it again. He simply could have a change of mind while he's holding two duffel bags and about to comment his 32nd

[@adalgissarodriguez7026]

@@dripkidd8572 🤣

[@adamlucifer7224]

Are this guy stupid ? This a joke

[@MrBurnlan]

The skit that keeps on giving

[@mertaliyigit3288]

For the people wondering whether or not it’s fake, it’s the Onion. They are known for their credibility

[@flowi1227]

its real

[@LoKing1337]

@@flowi1227 oh it’s you again

[@eileensnow6153]

They’re the only credible news source these days smh

[@ARandomSpace]

@@eileensnow6153 What about the Australien Government and Villager News?

[@addysaurus_gayii]

@@ARandomSpace I’m not crazy for the Australian government, but Villager News is my #1 news source whenever it’s on.

[@unclelester9701]

My brother recently committed a school shooting, I’m starting to get worried for him

[@bl1398]

he might lose his job

[@craggerrs]

It's probably just a phase. At worst he will do one or two more, kill a few more kids (probably dickheads) and that'll be that.

[@unclelester9701]

Mitchel Eckman 8/0 bit sometimes I try to sit down and talk to him about maybe if it was higher just to get some truth and build an honest connection

[@wheedler]

Don't be so judgmental, we all act out as teenagers.

[@jootai]

@@wheedler I can't agree more. There is no reason for panic here. Just act normal and keep ignoring the situation!

[@CaseyShontz]

“Red flags missed: Klowles played video games, was a known murderer”

[@daskampffredchen]

Should have been "Also a known murderer" so that the video games are the prime reason for them

[@sugoistalin7809]

To be fair, just because he's killed before doesn't mean he would have killed again, profiling people with this kinda stuff leads to murderers deciding to just kill again if people act like they were going to anyway.

[@lapislazuli2896]

@@sugoistalin7809 if you were capable of murder, you most likely still are

[@sugoistalin7809]

@@lapislazuli2896 Wow, bigot. #NotAllMurderers

[@lapislazuli2896]

@@sugoistalin7809 I can't tell if I'm being woooshed or not lol

[@kiimaster1]

"A teacher who knew Bobby for 3 years and was shot by him 11 times"

[@camerondavies1233]

The most unbelievable thing about this video is the fact that they still talking about the shooting by the next day

[@MistahFox]

It wasn't about the shooting, it was about if this shooting was a sign he might do another one

[@whitiscool1]

thank you, people at the onion. everyday i watch you guys. only news outlet i can trust

[@issstari954]

Omar Little its going to become more reliable then the real news

[@Aaa-ho3sq]

the isnt ever real news its a joke of news

[@Aaa-ho3sq]

Maybe it’s Just me, I knew someone would take it seriously. Ha. Oh of course he deletes his comment now.

[@Aaa-ho3sq]

Ileyarf F, r/whoooosh

[@tannergordon3020]

Lmao

[@XatxiFly]

The Onion is always prophetic in the long term.

[@joshuaanderson2185]

Video game players.

[@titanslayer7789]

I don't think anyone has committed 2 school shootings and school shootings haven't gotten any more often then they were back then so no you're wrong they didn't predict shit.

[@bob-km4uq]

Titan Slayer the Orlando shooter hadn’t committed previous shootings, but he was obviously going to yet they did nothing about it. The Onion, intentionally or not, was on to something with this.

[@sullyjelly7577]

No. Taking something that's already happening and satirizing it isn't prophetic. That's like if I said "some Catholic priests are going to go down for predatory acts upon children." That's not a prophecy. It's happened before, it's happening now, and it will happen again.

[@0Clewi0]

it's not prophecy, it's recurrence.

[@luiysia]

the apalachee high school shooter was exactly this

[@ErikUden]

It's never a good sign when The Onion stays relevant.

[@juliebraden6911]

The more believable it is, the more fucked we are.

[@ErikUden]

@@juliebraden6911 😜

[@martinacold9255]

@@ErikUden help 😭🌺

[@ErikUden]

@@martinacold9255 no one will come to help you.

[@willchurch8376]

@@ErikUden The clown show in Uvalde should have made that much clear.

[@mrtortoise3766]

He shot up my school a few times but I thought nothing of it.. man, how people can change

[@aidan3841]

Zoo wee mama!

[@lucaht9986]

Lol "dark clothes and skulls on shirts are signs teenagers often use to express unhappiness"

[@andres9248]

Tegan Ht IKR!!!😂

[@wellesradio]

We need the toys to come alive and teach these kids a lesson! Although I'm pretty sure this kids already been having lively debates with his rifle for a while. I overheard him saying, "No! I don't want to! Don't make me do it!" to a semi-automatic, a 45 and a hand grenade the other day. Haha, those three must be the Buzz, Woody and Potatohead of the sky blue armory!

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

The last school shooter watched anime, KZbin, knife game song and porn before his massacre. Conclusion: I will be the next mass murderer

[@momatotsosrorudodi]

It's probably just a phase.

[@majav15mg]

Memorial will be built as soon as last year's memorial is completed.

[@gabrieldelacruz3863]

Y’all need to chill, clearly he was just joking around

[@The_Flexican]

yeah lets not jump to conclusions

[@trews1]

Boys will be boys

[@bobman929]

As long as he said "jokes" "sike" or "i cant believe you fell for that" after shooting them, then it's ok

[@sugoistalin7809]

@@bobman929 I believe he was trying to say something like that before the police shot him. Things like this is why police need more training in De-escalation.

[@andrewgiddens9565]

underrated comment

[@zachmcnamara4376]

"he was a bit unusual but I never thought I'd see him do something like this again" the delivery of that joke is amazing

[@SilverSlugs16]

Aaand here we are again, turns out the Apalachee shooter was investigated last year for threatening to shoot up a school. But after talking to him and his father they apparently had no probable cause. As usual we inch closer and closer to the Onion not being satire.

[@piccalillipit9211]

Literally here to find this video for my friend in reference to the Apalachee incident

[@Bartooc]

She knew Bobby for 3 years a was shot by him 11 times. What a relationship they have.

[@georgemartin4811]

An unbreakable bond.

[@sunsetsarsaparilla4434]

If you haven't been shot at least 10 times by someone, can you even call them an acquaintance?

[@Timothy-pc2hg]

Panther Waltz wait do I even know myself i’ve only shot myself 9 times oh no NO WHAT IS MY EXISTENCE~~~~~ Bang~~

[@NeostormXLMAX]

@@georgemartin4811 diamond is unbreakable

[@georgemartin4811]

@@NeostormXLMAX huh?

[@FourthDerivative]

If there's ever a real school shooting in Tampa Bay, this video is going to get a lot more awkward.

[@doctorwhouse3881]

FourthDerivative Dude, you're talking about Florida. It's when, not if.

[@Jacob-by1bk]

Parkland

[@grabacr1251]

It's getting there...

[@hellyeah8055]

Doctor Whouse Oof Florida school shooting.

[@fredred8371]

It just happened

[@definitelymdt]

Now I know why it's called The Onion, it's because their stories are heartbreaking. This kid deserves a chance to become a poet, the plan was obviously a cry for help. Quiet kids should watch this for inspiration.

[@kingzombie951]

No what I'm sick and tired of this internet quit kid bullshit where they secretly have an AK-47. Try making that joke in real life and see what happens. One of them committed suicide because of people like you. So quit kids can just be quit because they don't like people. Some of the best people you will meet will be the ones who don't talk.

[@krazyxki]

I literally JUST watched this video one day ago, in tears laughing, and then HOURS LATER from when I watched, the Apalachee High School Georgia shooting happens. 30 mins from my own home too...Kid was already on a list being watched for making a school shooting threat...Definitely no humor left in me. This is just crazy and ridiculous. Sad reality where satire loses its core element of absurdity bc real life gets that much more depraved.

[@lordodysseus]

The fact that this is 11 years old is the wildest part of this story. Also, if not for the Onion, I could totally believe this was real.

[@phantom_stranger8515]

Lmao, sure buddy

[@xnotasweatx]

@T6R2D2 yeah he was probably meaning to reply to someone else

[@kelditas7778]

I would only believe this if they said this happened in USA

[@shrek19yearsago78]

School shootings are not new

[@similar_username]

@@kelditas7778 true. The news report "Cops patiently waited for shooter to finish" really just sums up how weird the U.s. is

[@wameeds]

“I never thought he’d do anything like this, again.”

[@ktge5050]

No way in hell you could get away with this today lol

[@daddytachanka8076]

KT GE i hope you’re joking

[@ktge5050]

Daddy Tachanka I hope you’re joking

[@Radio-sg3dh]

I hope you’re joking

[@morgancook4288]

Radio10 I hope I'm joking.

[@Radio-sg3dh]

Morgan Cook i hope you're jokinh

[@martineldritch]

It's a tragedy when the red flags are just too subtle to pick up on until it's too late.

[@ignis_infinitus_infernus]

Too true.

[@steroidsR4losers]

Just looks like all the other FAKE shootings they show us...

[@TheGreenTaco999]

@@ignis_infinitus_infernus 2tru

[@gana7206]

Lmao I remember when the comments were filled with angry people saying “Why didnt they arrest him the first times?!”

[@rescyou]

It usually take trumpanzees a few views to get the joke, maybe even months and some cases years to sink in..

[@gana7206]

@@rescyou sometimes 4 years

[@rescyou]

@@gana7206 Sometimes never...

[@professormutant3252]

@@rescyou trumpanzee? what's that meant to mean?

[@professormutant3252]

@「 Deadpoppin 」 ah. thanks. I figured it hade something to do with calling trump supporters monkeys, but I wasn't sure. Thanks for the info!

[@gargamellenoir8460]

All that because he played videogames :/

[@Tjalve70]

Someone had probably told him about the new cool FPS-RL game. So he was just testing it out, and trying to achieve a new high score.

[@impatientpatient8270]

@@Tjalve70 man spyro the dragon really fucked me up as a kid after 5 shootings i finally realised it was the video games and as of last week i never did it again

[@seagull749]

Smh video games are terrible, especially Lego Star wars it's so evil and graphic, it shows people getting dismembered

[@JimmyMon666]

@JORDAN SMITH I know after playing Oregon trail, I would often travel from Missouri to Oregon shooting deer and rabbits. That game had quite the effect on me.

[@eggboi8274]

I played tetris once, now I can't stop stacking corpses in my school. (then tetris 99 came out)

[@ActualityOfThought]

I used to have a friend who had a history of having a history

[@AJ69238]

Wow, must be hard. Is he okay?

[@gungus_spungus]

How is he not dead?

[@sisckogames2305]

@@ActualityOfThought Why the fuck is he not fired yet?

[@MaskOfCinder]

Let's not jump to conclusions.

[@kschlatt]

Yes the house is made of house

[@rawdrywall8212]

I love how it also makes fun at how much shootings happen, but also the terrible understanding of signals that people cant see in schools, how little care the school system gives to students individually and just makes fun of everything that would seem so obvious and blatant.

[@moorpeter222]

I don't agree with school shootings, but I would die for your right to have one.

[@TheEnergizer94]

Should we consider that as a cry for help?

[@againsthegrainx7556]

This original comment makes no sense

[@For6bey]

@@TheEnergizer94 I think I'll call Joe.

[@wirhabenhasslich8183]

@@For6bey ligma deez nuts

[@For6bey]

@@wirhabenhasslich8183 I said to Joe mama

[@terrendously]

Love the subtle digs at clueless psychologists.

[@GreenGoblinCoryintheHouse]

Mental health system has a long way to go.

[@lastcall8286]

Su tle?

[@ignis_infinitus_infernus]

It's good to see them not to jump to conclusions so fast. he's probably just going through a phase.

[@jameandthegiantpeach2273]

....mental illness, where's the mental illness excuse?

[@Allegedly2025-k9o]

i thought this was real. went to look up the real situation and it brought me back to here. how spot on this is to reality is ridiculously scary funny and accurate .

[@stolensentience]

He’s just expressing himself.. this pc generation smh

[@petitio_principii]

Just a normal expression of manliness. It used to be just "asserting dominance," back then. PC/SJW libtard culture wants to feminize and castrate all males, they deem anything any kind of risk-taking, action-oriented activity as "toxic masculinity," that needs to be "detoxified" with soy drinks and estrogen injections.

[@ayellowpapercrown6750]

@@petitio_principii right! Boys will be boys, let them breathe for fuck’s sake.

[@Reignor99]

Amen! Moses ordered his soldiers to butcher babies and God had no problem with it! These hypocrites need to loosen up, it's like forcing your kids to wear helmets while bicycling, it's just gay!

[@guilhermebraga9773]

@A rock yeah, can’t you tell? I am just here for the blasphemy, man

[@joyce_rx]

0:30 he was a bit unusual, but I never thought I'd see him do something like this *again.*

[@iPizerr]

what is the point in just commenting a quote from the fucking video we all just watched it

[@maddog564]

with emphasis on again

[@MaskOfCinder]

@@iPizerr Hello extraterrestrial. We do it for the same reason people quote lines from movies they've enjoyed. We like emphasizing the parts we found memorable or notably funny. This has been a short lesson on human sociology, I hope you learned something alien.

[@ggs1019]

@@MaskOfCinder Well the comment section can clearly be better without these type of comments. We all watched the video and 99/100 chances it's not funny the second time. Especially when you bolded a word when everyone understood the damn joke

[@fredcalledbygod]

AstraKala 😭😭😂😂😂

[@erichughes3987]

The onion was so ahead of it's time lol

[@cameronfielder4955]

Look I say let him go for time served… I mean there is no way he will do it again. The odds of one student shooting up school five times are astronomical. As one analyst said on CNN, this guy just keeps ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time. A real unlucky streak.

[@breadstick4458]

I know, if only there was something we could do to prevent this…

[@Benjackalope]

"he was a bit unusual, but I never thought he'd ever do this... again" XD

[@ezeqielramirez8016]

Imagine if one day The Onion posted some horrifying stuff that's actually true so no one believed it for awhile

[@33mavboy]

Thats why you don't trust anything

[@raspberryjam]

@@33mavboy Well I mean if you're skeptical you can always just google it

[@fresherturtle1154]

Jesus

[@maxwellbarker9761]

Who’s to say they haven’t already?

[@StanbyMode]

Better yet on april 1st

[@belalabusultan5911]

I really hate this anti-schoolshooting prejudice, he's just blowing up steam, and smoke, from the barrel of his gun, as he shoots random kids and teachers. those victims would probably never have such action-packed experience in their lives, and should praise it.

[@eileensnow6153]

Seriously, all those kids who survived got an opportunity to see something they’d never seen before (this year)

[@misanthropicisolation4013]

The irony of a turk excusing violence.

[@belalabusultan5911]

@@misanthropicisolation4013 I am not a Turk.

[@emarceeqem4715]

"He was a bit unusual, but I never thought I'd see him do anything like this again."

[@smartstuf1026]

I love how these videos start out like any normal news broadcast but then quickly spiral into chaos in a matter of seconds

[@Pokemaster-wg9gx]

This aged like a fine wine

[@Someone-ig7we]

Stop. repeating. the. same. jokes. you. see. on. other. videos.

[@scotty3739]

Someone that isn't a joke it's a figure of speech...

[@therealslimshitty5186]

@@Someone-ig7we It's a figure of speech...

[@therealslimshitty5186]

@@Someone-ig7we Ok? But that doesn't change the fact that it's a figure of speech that everyone uses. That's like if I said to stop using the word cringey because everyone uses it

[@phantom_stranger8515]

Uh, what? School shootings were worse in 2009 than they are now

[@crystalbugboy]

1:38 I love the “Just as they were 13 months ago”

[@CerseiDM]

the teacher was shot eleven times??? Why the hell would he keep doing that? That's extremely unhealthy behavior, that teacher should seek professional help! No wonder that kid got into problems with teachers like that...

[@caffeinatedbuffalosauce883]

Shoot me once, shame on you, shoot me twice, shame on me

[@torrent8446]

shoot me once shame on you, but teach a man to shoot and i'll be shot for the rest of my life

[@Dave_Chrome]

Shoot me three times, you're officially that guy okay, you know the one. You go to the bar and he's like "this suit is ehhh officially Giorgio Armani, actually my dad knows him" FUCK YOU.

[@bloodstoneore4630]

this is more intelligent than the modern news

[@ncrtrooper1782]

Professional suicider here, 96 successful suicides AMA

[@danielnicola7826]

how do you suicide?

[@ncrtrooper1782]

@@danielnicola7826 depends on my mood. I've done all the standard procedures, just make sure u dont die after a successful suicide, if it goes wrong, it can go horribly wrong.

[@danielnicola7826]

@@ncrtrooper1782 yes its a dangerous procedure

[@ncrtrooper1782]

@@danielnicola7826 yeah man, just get ur license and make sure u have a friend to help u out. My favorite method is dropping the radio in the bathtub when white rabbit peaks.

[@danielnicola7826]

@@ncrtrooper1782 ooo thats good

[@raystxxr]

This recommendation is really bad timing…..

[@CountArtha]

Once again, real life is coming scarily close to the most over-the-top satire a comedy writer could come up with.

[@scaredwilly329]

CountArtha ...sigh..yep 😔

[@ernestogastelum9123]

Well school shootings were a thing already way before the onion posted this video

[@Amarez]

Aww damn i hate to see a misunderstood teen being demonized like this he is clearly troubled he should be given amnesty and a M4 for the inconvenience 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@WORLD_OF_M4V3R1CK]

I love how professional the actors on the show are. They do such a great job of creating the perfect satire! Thank you for the laughs!

[@errorzdeechamp2473]

Wdym satire

[@mohawk4759]

Errorz DEECHAMP2 what do YOU mean?

[@chrisspray666]

I remember the first time i was shot to death during a school shooting. all i could think of as i was bleeding out, was who was really behind the trauma that made billy open fire like that.

[@steroidsR4losers]

--> "Robbie Parker SMILING!"

[@thotticussupremus4772]

Police say school shooter had a history of school shootings Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

[@f.b.i.1957]

In other news, grass is green

[@RagingBadger68]

It’s the joke, just you took it a little more literally than they meant They are trying to make the joke that he’s shot up his school multiple times in the past, and that this time was just another one

[@f.b.i.1957]

@@RagingBadger68 i was trying to add to the joke and i don't know what you mean

[@bobbywhite5319]

@@f.b.i.1957 I don't think that was directed at you. It would have had an @ if it were. The misinterpretation by Thotticus is that being a school shooter is equated to having a history of school shootings. Or maybe Thotticus misinterpreted how The Onion was using history, as in brief vs long history. However, this joke by The Onion is really a play on the fact that school shooters are often severely ignored, and people only retroactively look for clues after a shooting has occurred.

[@f.b.i.1957]

@@bobbywhite5319 ok, sorry for the misunderstanding

[@nicowantscoffee]

A kid in my history class yelled at a teacher about how much he hated the students and how he wanted to "put a bullet in their heads" good on my teacher for not jumping to any conclusions and simply asking him to take a walk and clear his head 😇

[@jaden8923]

unironcially Cant tell if this is satire

[@nicowantscoffee]

@@jaden8923I wish I was joking

[@manuelsputnik]

your teacher is literally what this skit was parodying lmao

[@spacevillainy]

People think this is real and that makes me sad

[@-Mu-min]

it's a bullshit

[@hoardofjules]

Did...did you just try to make a KZbin comment section "appropriate" or "mature?"

[@madmaxheisenberg9310]

gothdad_ it just happened last week

[@Pearlycutest]

William Kraft dude it was in Miami dumbass it wasn’t the one in the video

[@madmaxheisenberg9310]

Lazuli Matics I was speaking metaphorically dumbass. Read between the lines. Also, it was in Parkland, not Miami.

[@ronthomp97]

“There is no way to prevent this” says only country where this happens Regularly.

[@PIFFthePUFF420]

Let’s ban guns about it