Justin Returns to Zork Again: Part 2 - FMV QUEST, Episode 2

Justin gives Return to Zork one more shot, even though it didn't really deserve it.
SUBSCRIBE for more videos! goo.gl/D8prdf
Like us on Facebook: polygon
Follow us on Twitter: polygon
Follow us on Instagram: polygondotcom
And for more great news and coverage, check out: www.polygon.com
Polygon is an entertainment website founded in 2012 in partnership with Vox Media. Our mission is to cover not only games but the artists who make them, the fans who love them, and the culture surrounding them.

[@TVBraingremlin]

during the previous episode i wasn't really paying attention and thought the sad boy was speaking metaphorically about his struggles when he mentioned the cliffs of depression but it's an actual place

[@katqt32]

The old man with rye is amazing. His tone of voice and wording will be in my head for eons.

[@katqt32]

Three years later, I haven’t forgotten what it sounds like.

[@jimbo_13]

@@katqt32 I hear it in my head every so often, but had forgotten what it was from. Glad I stopped in at FMV Quest today and solved that little mystery.

[@katqt32]

@@jimbo_13 I’m ecstatic to have you join the Old Man Rye Club. Welcome, brother.

[@JustinMcJustin]

lost it at *points shotgun* "what's the second day of the week?"

[@anti0918]

It was a copy protection quiz. You had to use the booklet that came with the game to answer the question. That was, until the internet became ubiquitous.

[@nosugrefalsi]

@@anti0918 it's still objectively funny

[@Aurochhunter]

Unless you were smart enough to memorise Zorkian days.

[@baronvonooze4959]

Hey Justin do you want some Rye?

[@Piemanthe3rd]

DigitalDynamo Course ya do!

[@noodroid6736]

Man, I'm sure no-one is rly gonna notice this or care, but I got into FMV games bc of this series. So like, thank you, Justin.

[@rachelrachel9152]

Yeah I've been really compelled by what I've seen i think ill try them at some point in the future they look like lots of fun

[@LaurenH303]

Literally no part of this game is pleasant to take in with any senses.

[@lnfreeman]

this is a fair assessment. I was excited for a split second when the Blacksmith appeared, but then he a) turned around and b) delivered dialogue and I lost all hope.

[@catsonmeth1]

I didn't like it when the game elements appeared on screen or made sound.

[@sapphic_sophie]

“Want sum rye??? ‘Course you do!!”

[@iidoyila]

i think this game is wonderful

[@garasunonamida]

It's hilarious when you're roaming around and the music changes from one extremely loud song to another in very quick succession

[@miiiwu1999]

Cliffs of depression? Good thing I brought my Rope of Sertraline

[@catiso1057]

@miiiwu i know this comment is 2 years old but it reminded me to take my sertraline tablet so thanks

[@shockofthenew]

@@catiso1057 .... Same. Thanks, 2 year old internet comment!!

[@PixelBlue11913]

Me too lmao

[@freshcranberries]

Justin's voice is so soothing that I make sure to watch this just before I go for a nap for the ultimate chill out

[@xRequiem666]

I would watch a ten hour long video of you suffering through zork Justin my time would never be wasted i love you very much

[@mikeschultz1296]

Watching Justin play old FMV games is my ASMR

[@lizstar3630]

Hey, it's the Return to Zork world record Speedrunner again (yes I speedrun this game, no I don't know why)! I am loving this series. Watching people flounder around in your speed game is hilarious. For those of you who don't know how this game works, it has a lot of situations where you'll get screwed over for seemingly no reason. It is INSANELY unfair to the unknowing player, and a lot of the time it's trial and error. Justin's actually doing fairly alright so far. He didn't steal from Pugney, for one. (he did walk into the vulture pits though, which is really unfair) But he still absolutely screwed himself over. He killed his bonding plant. This is a thing that hampers a LOT of people starting the game to be fair, and there IS a way to get around it, but it's even more obscure than the puzzle to keep the plant alive in the first place. Basically, you gotta dig it up with your knife, then it'll be alive. As it is now, when he attempts to use it later on in the game, it will just kill him. He also gave the token to the blacksmith, instead of zorkmids. By doing this, he can't give the token to the ferryman, who does not take Zorkmids. Honestly I didn't even know you could give the Blacksmith the token. That's REALLY rude, game designers. There IS a work around for this, actually, in that you can get the token back from the Money Tree in the Forest of the Spirits. But if Justin finds that, even with his guide, I'd eat my hat. Also on the subject of the blacksmith, you can tell he gives you the wrong sword cause they fake sword doesn't have a jewel in its hilt. Gosh Justin what are you, blind? Nonetheless I really want to watch this more. Maybe even with someone who knows what they're doing, so he can see the entire game. Cause I can totally see him giving up over some of the REALLY bad shit (I'm talkin' the mazes). Honestly I dunno how I'd even be able to play this game normally anymore. I know so much about it that I'm cursed, but it's fun to watch through someone else. TLDR: Please Justin. Please play more. For me?

[@henri3637]

I know this is over 5 years old now but I can't believe no one's talking about how much of a BEEFCAKE that blacksmith is

[@vicfitz82]

Thanks for giving Zork a go. At least others could taste some of the frustration of my youth. But that synth tuba music at Boos's is still my jam. Next maybe The 7th Guest please?

[@cobinify]

ah i was enjoying it. i was enjoying the strange character and acting but what i really loved was the pain in justin's face

[@AudioSuede]

That battery looks remarkably like a Fleshlight

[@AudioSuede]

Oh damn, someone beat me to it

[@botulismsauce]

Christian Hagen yeah, I'm not sure sickly flesh tone was really a good color choice for the battery.

[@ionceateapinecone]

I was just scrolling down to comment this

[@PineappleRiot]

Oh shit shoulda checked the comments first. 😂 WHY IS IT SO BAD

[@wockynerd]

WONT SUM RAH? COARSE YA DEW

[@KyleS.1987]

'Course you do.

[@sidhackney8831]

Every screen in this game has different music and it is the worst.

[@spongiformencephalitis]

who else is binge watching fmv quest during quarantine

[@alexgulino335]

Not sure what it is but listening/watching Justin play this is really relaxing/comforting for some reason.

[@altgraphics4719]

This game is so frustrating but it has hilariously bad jokes if you listen to the people, a variety of puzzles that you didn't even get to, and a lot of nods to previous Zork games. Although it was brutal to play through (we actually had the official guide back in the day which was well put together thankfully... oh and the Bonding Plant fiasco!). I always loved how quirky it is and really made you think about your items and the numerous ways in which to use them (the tape recorder and the camera) and this game probably made me the crazy SAVE ALL THE TIME! DEAR LORD! person I am today. I'll ways remember Boos and his Rye, TGIF (Toes Go In First), that pain reliever commercial (duh I don't feel a thing!), the dwarves and their direction giving for the mine carts (which I still tell people about to this day!), and I still look for Grues in my garage if the light isn't on. Thank you Return to Zork for making such an impression when I was younger!

[@MonaLisaHasNoEyebrows]

Someone finished this game and went "yeah that'll do".

[@norge0209]

I love when you say "Oh dunk!"

[@Satuneonred]

Oh thank God you're done! I found everything about this game deeply unsettling.

[@buzzhaterz7788]

is there REALLY no "pet dog" prompt? what's even the POINT of this game if you can't pet the dog!!! terrible!!! awful!!! dreadful!!! 0/10, NO stars, bad video game

[@defn0tjake]

Jenna Stoeber wrote this comment

[@GeoffreyToday]

This game (along with wing commander 2) came with my first PC way back in the day. It's so frustrating watching Justin play though, it's like he's never played a point and click adventure before, and since he's my age I refuse to believe that.

[@yoloswaggins6238]

Justin keep doing these, this is my favorite thing since monster factory!

[@samkimber6747]

Can we acknowledge that that Blacksmith's outfit is impractical and dangerous? You don't want hot sparks or something hitting you in your bare, exposed, muscular chest.

[@louisxyz1]

So, gonna be seeing the Fool's memorial in m dreams forever now, that's great.

[@freddykruelgirl]

Polygon please bring back FMV Quest. I listen to these videos before bed because they're so relaxing. Allegra, Pat, or Brian would be amazing. Please, Polygon.

[@robot_thighs]

I'm happy to watch Justin's LPs but glad this one is over. Everything about it creeps me out. The whole thing is ugly, not just because the graphics are old. This is the uncanny valley of 90's games.

[@AnnDVine]

google: how to give up on return to zork google: return to zork meghan trainer

[@Discospawn]

I'm the exercise bike pressed so tightly against the wall that it is impossible to use.

[@doctor-aesthetic]

*-looks at the Fool's Memorial* *stares into the distance, reliving memories of the Jester in Zork Zero*

[@vuuvovuuv]

oh god justin if you are going to play this the whole way thru... literally the VERY FIRST THING YOU CAN DO IN THE GAME will block your progress like 70% of the way through if you do it wrong. it's my least favorite thing in any game ever (you need to dig out the little plant with your knife to keep it alive, not pull it out)

[@vuuvovuuv]

OH THANK GOD YOU QUIT

[@snurks]

this is a bad game, made by terribly cruel people

[@possiblyofclouds]

Yeah, I know there was a time when having to replay games to finish them was just accepted to be part of the medium, as it padded out the game time since there was only so much space on floppies. But it's not fun for the vast majority of their players. I wouldn't say that adventure games which give you a million ways to fuck up are just bad, but if there's no way to ever fix your mistake without restarting, it is bad game design (even if it was standard for the time period). That being said, I am surprised that with a game like this, Justin didn't make more than 2 saves. Wouldn't have helped him with the plant though.

[@Sara3346]

@@possiblyofclouds and in game the first time it seems you can even hear about those implications are when you meet the waif and by then there nothing you can do without restarting if I'm understanding what I have been reading about this game right?

[@iidoyila]

none of this makes it a bad game , seems none of you can stand to be taught the lesson that the world can be fragile . why were you messin with the bonding plant anyway , did you really know you needed it ?

[@quietusq489]

8:20 - what orgy of accents is he trying to do here? Sounds like a mix of really awful Scottish, Irish and Geordie.

[@Champiness]

6:52 Justin! It's Irony instead of Ivory! Don't denigrate the humor that Return To Zork is famous for!

[@proxyprone]

I don't understand that joke

[@stardeki]

@@proxyproneivory is a type of soap, in this case it's saying the irony (ivory) is strong, perhaps in the fact that it isn't ivory soap. a bit of dry humor i think

[@ckillgore]

So glad this series continues with Justin and BDG. Keep it up fellas.

[@karinemw]

Good god. As a tuba player, this attempt at music is depressing. They're playing like 4 notes and occasionally slapping the crap out of a cow bell. What

[@bowmore23]

Want some RYE? Course you do!

[@randyfool2065]

Justin finally learned how to turn the crank right.

[@leiram8833]

But will he ever learn to rip it and sip it, baby?

[@Emily-cc6xv]

This reminds of the kind of game I would have loved in elementary school in the most viscerally unpleasant way. Not in a traumatic way, just like, god why did I like this horrible horrible trash. The repetition of "want some rye? 'course you do" in the last ep almost got physically painful for how grating it was. Obviously I am completely hooked on this series

[@Emily-cc6xv]

GODDAMN IT HE'S BACK

[@thomasstone3480]

same but the horrible thing is i want to play this game now

[@davidkrause3578]

Justin this series gives me life, please never stop

[@joetakano5275]

THERE YOU ARE! vs WAN SU RYE? who wins?

[@boulofrice587]

would kill for some more of these types of video.

[@p8ton880]

I'm a big fan of these, they are so chilll, i love it.

[@TheElectricGentleman]

Now give me that dank Zork Grand Inquisitor. You just know you want to talk to a unicorn fish with a new york accent J-Man.

[@joetakano5275]

I usually give up on adventure games much sooner than this so good job

[@emyhardy6830]

i can't tell you how legitimately close i was to setting fire to my computer walking away and starting a new life because this composer/sound designer's idea of "harmony" was to just to sit on the same horribly distorted do-sol-do figure for fucking EVERRRR ALL OF THE TIME FOR THIS WHOLE SITUATION

[@Level5virus]

I'm actually enjoying this a good bit. Maybe it's cause I'm not use to seeing justin do things all alone and it's nice to see that, or just cause of the game, or a bit of both. Though, if you are done with the game, so be it. Let it rip in peace.

[@thebradzone3922]

oh goddammit the blacksmith is kind of hot

[@rachelrachel9152]

Thank youuuu that's what i was thinking tbh i think Justin's gasp when he first got to the blacksmith was in response to how chiseled he was

[@sammiwhite9575]

There should be a 10 hour loop of the fool's memorial

[@louisxyz1]

Pure nightmare fuel

[@sammiwhite9575]

Louis Mayall it's mesmerizing

[@HBMmaster]

more like nightmare fool

[@altgraphics4719]

I used to turn on the game to this screen and let is play while doing other things. Love this song!

[@stardeki]

@@HBMmasterdelighted but not surprised to see youve watched FMV quest!

[@xRequiem666]

Justin McElroy Zork Master

[@davedave24]

I love this terrible, unfair game

[@iidoyila]

hehe

[@MsEngenius]

Clockwise cranking for ... Carrots! Carrots! Carrots!

[@Arkane416]

I am 100% in love with this

[@MooCartoon]

Want some rye?! Course you do!

[@Reieva]

This series is so awkward but I love it

[@bjornmansson5641]

I love this series, keep this up Justin!

[@cdutson]

that scottish guy may be the worst ever.

[@jessespeer2323]

There was a really weird computer game called Rodney’s Funscreen in the 90s, that’s what the cereal was referencing! One of the first computer games I ever played! I found it amusing. They even played the games intro jingle when he viewed the cereal box.

[@rachelrachel9152]

Thank you that's really niche 90s computer game references in a different niche 90s computer game that i never would've gotten on my own

[@LeFruFru]

Justin PLEASE keep these coming.

[@pringel320]

Love these videos! Do "the 7th Guest" next!!!!

[@The_Angry_General]

i have been WAITING. FOR. THIS.

[@Emicious]

I'm trying to remember if this is an FMV or a point and click with animations but you should play the Titanic game from the 90's. So. Good

[@EelsofWood]

adventure out of time! it's not really an fmv game because the people are animated out of photos, not full motion, but yeah, that game rocks. when the ship starts going down and nazi shit starts going down is the first time i remember being really excited and tense about something happening in a video game.

[@BenWatton92]

Play the FMV X-Files game it's pretty good

[@norge0209]

Yes! I'm so glad you did more of this!

[@mbsiii]

Man, that hotel elevator/hallway sequence makes me wish I could play Starship Titanic again.

[@shockofthenew]

That Scottish accent is attroooocious D:

[@Everetses]

This is my new favorite series

[@Everetses]

Please keep doing these

[@mikeschultz1296]

I would've tried talking to the cow or some other interaction after feeding her the carrot, else what was the point

[@misschambers666]

was that seriously a Rodney Fun reference with that cereal, wow

[@rachelrachel9152]

That blacksmith tho 👀👀👀

[@addisonmaye-saxon9602]

this seems to be part of an interesting niche in which nobody wanted to play this game, including justin, but he took one for the team so we could all see exactly why nobody wanted to play it

[@lemokemo5752]

There is a way to keep your stuff after killing a character. Leave all items in the room before leaving, then go back and pick it up after the sheriff-whatever confronts you.

[@spalacka]

Keep doing these! =) They're fun. It doesn't have to be Zork though.

[@GrandSkellar]

The battery looks like a fleshlight.

[@DJOreo217]

Thank god I'm not the only one who thought that

[@LaramasBee]

Kind of bummed you gave up on Return to Zork. If you'd play 7th Guest, though, I'd forgive you. :)

[@zoerevell3165]

carrots! carrots! carrots!

[@davisjames8484]

love these games THERE YOU ARE

[@milkcappy]

This video is almost 30 minutes long yet it feels like 2 hours because of how god awful this game is.

[@SeventhEve]

I know you didn't enjoy it, but we enjoyed watching you not enjoy it, if that makes any sense! :)

[@LiviCantDraw]

what are the green numbers for? do they just represents which element he's mousing over

[@FredicusProductions]

Frame rate

[@noozyboogaboozynooga9146]

“Gonna milk the cow. He loves it. He’s nasty” uhh Justin, you might want to think about that a bit more

[@AlexMurray90]

This series is VERY GOOD

[@princelystorm]

1:26 hero memorial: can I get a f in the chat, dovahkiin?

[@rumelismorende8177]

Return to Return to Zork

[@torinvlietstra114]

I actually really enjoyed this

[@jakeposey7103]

"Nothing photogenic here."

[@CrazyConnor2]

"Adventure games"

[@NebulousSquirrel]

The FMV game i am most looking forward to Griffin playing is Sewer Shark, now that's got some acting!

[@Gneekman]

Shame this is a Justin joint, then!

[@NebulousSquirrel]

Doh!

[@entity447b]

For what it's worth, you made the right choice.

[@szasstamblr2869]

I NEED MORE

[@Epinardscaramel]

I think boos may have a drinking problem.

[@drudence]

Justin, Zork Grand Inquisitor is much better and full of FMV. Even has Michael McKean/David St. Hubbins in it.

[@ezra5666]

that battery looks like something else

[@WBF_III]

Can't wait to see what's next and then eventually come to hate it!

[@ohmygodsquad]

I need a mcelroy endurance run of some kind.

[@RageHole]

Play the Tex Murphy games!