What NOT to Say to Someone With PTSD

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Follow me:
/ posttraumaticvictory
Music: Special thanks to BenSound (bensound.com) and DJ Quads ( / aka-dj-quads )
Disclaimer: I am simply sharing my experiences and my opinion. Please do not take any medical advice from my content, and please speak to someone if you're struggling or have questions about your health

[@user-zx3nm7bx2g]

i like when people tell me that they’ve been through worse and they don’t have PTSD because of it.

[@user-zx3nm7bx2g]

i can’t tell you how much this happens and mostly by my family

[@teatimetart]

I've never had this happen to me, but I can see my father doing this.

[@loctandloaded4486]

How sad. I’m sry you experience this. I do too, and it’s so hard :(

[@tarantulla81]

Oh man yes....

[@devyns6466]

Leah RELATABLE

[@adeliawilliams4884]

What not to say: "You've got to stop living in the past. You're self-sabotaging."

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Oh my goodness yes. That one comes up more often than is necessary :/

[@chachapasta6060]

Jesus Christ, people do that?????? I'm so sorry to hear, what the fuck???

[@eilenholt6387]

YES!

[@mikemurphy7787]

"You just get the symptoms from reading about it or watching videos about it so much." My therapist told me to find EDMR on KZbin and I have been trying to learn what it is and I hear "You're just obsessed with it" I have seen this Therapist once and it was a little over a month ago. I see her again in Jan 2018. Another thing is " You don't know what I have been through" or "I have the same feelings but I cope with it and it goes away" I have Chronic PTSD, not from Military, from 48 years living in a Mentally Abusive Household and it got physical in May 2016 and that is when the nightmares started. I have suffered from Social Anxiety and Major Depression since 1985 I didn't receive help until 2010.

[@jenny_melena7672]

YES! NEVER SAY THAT

[@Bekka_boo13]

"have you been diagnosed" no i just said it cause i felt like it...

[@courtneyfox6464]

booboobrinn I agree! I hate when people who don't even have an education say " you don't have PTSD" oh yeah im sorry your right I forget your the best psychiatrist in town. Oh waits no that the person that diagnose me an actual psychiatrist! not the person who never even taken a psychology class in their life!

[@marcopohl4875]

to be fair, alot of "mental health sufferers" are self-diagnosed (if you've ever seen someone who feels a little down say that they are depressed, or some perfectionist say they have ocd, you know what i mean) so it's ok to ask if they think or know it's real

[@TarasTankFriends]

"there are different kinds of war"---THANK YOU!

[@millaarmstrong1427]

Omfg, I hate when people think that the military is the only way a person gets PTSD.

[@Stigmatix666]

[@rachelchu]

omg same ughh

[@cloudyskies2729]

Yea its so dumb like THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF WAR one in your head one in real life and one on the battle field not just on the field

[@tictycjk7356]

Soldier can of course get ptsd

[@tictycjk7356]

Soldier can of course get ptsd

[@emilymay8562]

I hate when people say to me, "that triggered you???" Or," it seems like everything triggers you."

[@strawbaby8594]

Emily May my sister says that none of the things that happened to me were “that bad” I freaked out and got in her face. Then I curled up into a ball and cried until my mom held me. My sister told me it scared her. “It must be hard being terrified of something all the time..”

[@hannahminnick7978]

I have so many stinking triggers it's not even funny, and sometimes I have no clue what it even is, it just happens!

[@ohcdoe1880]

saaaaaaaame. a certain set of sunglasses, a certain place, a certain hairstyle, a certain seat of a car. but "They're just things, it doesn't mean anything bad's gonna happen"

[@jodidomingue3987]

My supposed to be bff tells me that and I want to physically hurt her! 😓

[@umhello9962]

Strawbaby Aww I’m sorry you had to go through that :(

[@gabbykitty5318]

I've had my mom say "but it wasn't that bad". Like how the hell does she know what I went through especially since she wouldn't let me talk to anyone about it.......

[@pacifist1360]

When I tried telling my mom what I went through, she said "stfu stupid" and I asked her, "what if that happened to you?" She responded "tired of hearing your complaints all the freaking time, just stfu, I don't wanna hear your story". I was so mad at myself, I punched the wall so hard, I almost broke my hand! 🤬

[@retroservos77]

One of the absolute worst things is when people make “triggered” into a joke, AROUND people with actual PTSD. Triggers are no joke and they’re all valid and should be respected.

[@retroservos77]

Neon Kitty That’s so terrible. I hope you have/do find people who treat you better than that. You don’t deserve that at all!! ❤️❤️

[@retroservos77]

Neon Kitty That’s great! I’m glad you have someone. And thank you, I’m doing well. I hope you’re doing well yourself :) Sending good vibes your way

[@cloudyskies2729]

Thank you people be like: **sees a rock** "omg that rock makes my remember when I kissed a rock I'm triggered" like that's not even funny

[@JenFarrer]

Yes!!!!

[@byauwu9604]

Youre righttt

[@tammye4677]

just be positive- ugh that's the worst one!

[@stefaniehadi1801]

My friend, a normal person with loving family and friends, told me, someone with PTSD, that she had PTSD from our teacher's boring lesson. I felt a tear in my heart and my hand just punched her face without even me controlling my hand.

[@pacifist1360]

Or, "wouldn't it have been great for you to just forget it", another classic one that makes me pissed!

[@pacifist1360]

@@stefaniehadi1801 Yep, exactly, some people lack understanding, empathy and common sense, and if punching them in the face is a solution, let it be. Too bad that it's frowned upon amongst authorities, sometimes a quick punch or two will reset their batteries very quickly and is the only way stupid people like that will learn, smh.

[@amandafreitas1573]

I’ve had someone tell me “you have to choose to be happy. Stop being so depressing”

[@Marineswifey]

Thank you! My husband has PTSD and I’m trying to understand him and in some way support him

[@johanamiranda508]

So am i with my wife

[@jasonh3188]

just listen intently. I have this and that is huge for me. just to have an ear

[@NINI-fv4io]

God Bless you and your husband. 😊❤

[@HallsEmporium]

I'm fascinated that there are many people that just don't factor in others life journeys and mental complexities. Just because you haven't experienced something, it doesn't mean is doesn't exist!

[@dougknight6235]

Hall's Emporium again not knowing anything about you as i just came across this ..ya my childhood was not cool.. My earliest memory is taking my sisters to a safe hiding place as they are infants and i am maybe 3.. Becouse my father was beating my mother to litterally almost death.. Then comming out of hiding myself to try cleanning my mother up after my father passed out. Contunued for i cannt tell you how long and most her relationships after that went bout the same.. Ther was other stuff too im not prepared to admit to but buy a older female cousin.. All in all i was so ready for the army to turn me off i begged for it. Then after getting injured and sent home i lost my realease and direction in life.. Ive been divorced 3 times now cuz i cannt trust anyone and feel all are using me to get ahead wile i continue to fail.. Just my rant trying to self theropy by telling my tail..

[@michaelsherwin1326]

after 3 years with ptsd, I'm finally cured, I'm listening this 1-3x a day, in 1 month I was much better and i'm still getting better! the video with the original audio was removed but now is re-uploaded in this channel, kzbin.info/www/bejne/embSo32Gr6yAY68

[@leroygreen1877]

I have had PTSD for 12 years now and I'm no where close to being cured. Every time I think I'm making headway, another super traumatic incident happens and I start all over again. sigh

[@georgerobins4110]

Okay, so my PTSD is from a repressed memory that I haven’t uncovered. I literally don’t even know what happened. All I can do is guess based on my triggers and symptoms. Once when I told someone that I have no idea what happened they said “I know you’re just afraid to tell me.” I was so pissed off.

[@jamiebuchert549]

George Robins I believe I have a repressed memory too and it’s really frustrating. I’ve never brought it up because what would I even talk about ?.. “oh yea I think this happened to me” it’s hard to live in silence..

[@ninjakitten2571]

I think the worst is a persons body language. When you tell someone you have PTSD and they have that look on their face like, "yeah right, no you don't". Or they actaully say you don't, or accuse you of being too dramatic. I have two cases of C-PTSD and if first one was 40 years ago. People just think I should get over it or should have learned to deal with it by now. I just stopped telling people. I know thats not healthy I want to thank you for talk about this online. I am not in a place where I can talk to anyone about it so I am trying to hold it all together right now. Listening to your video's helps a little.

[@sweetgolden2010]

and it is one of the most hurtful thing people can say stop being a baby just get over it

[@georgerobins4110]

People don’t seem to understand that PTSD is actually something that takes a long time to cope with. One does not simply ‘get over’ PTSD, especially not C-PTSD. I have PTSD and I’m sick of people not taking it seriously. Best of luck to you, my friend.

[@j-hump7893]

Iv had a few people ask me whats wrong while having a panic attack and when I tell them its a side affect of ptsd, the y act as if im just a little wussy, its like no man my brains like fed up a lot. Ppl smh.

[@j-hump7893]

@@georgerobins4110 exactly iv suffered from ptsd for almost 20 years , I have better days then others and avoid pple.

[@SarahLikesHorses]

I hate most when they sat, "Let it go..." in an exasperated, long-suffering way. We're not obsessing over past "hurts." The past is throwing itself at us ad if it has a life of its own. We can learn to manage our triggers and flashbacks, but we are not trying to call these memories up voluntarily. Most people need to learn what flashbacks are. Thank you for these very honest, pure, raw, articulate videos!

[@oddettequinzel2109]

Thank you for making this. People really don't understand that these comments are really Really frustrating.

[@bhavikapanchal5762]

It's all within the mind, you don't need therapy... That's what I got a lot!

[@strawbaby8594]

Bhavika Panchal it is the mind, but it’s the brain. It reorganizes itself to adapt to a bad situation.

[@txmess20]

I didn't find therapy helpful, especially EMDR. But I know everyone is different. Btw, it wasn't a trauma specialist which is probably the key to success

[@sophie-sm6te]

"I've been through worse" I'm sorry. No.

[@DesertDeuces]

I was just diagnosed with PTSD after I had a severe case of anaphylactic shock from a food. A week later, I had an awful breakdown and felt my mind break like breaking a tree branch. I went into fight or flight mode and, since I do not fight, I fled. My daughter said some things that were not helpful. She said, 'Stop this, there's no reason for this panic, calm down." She took my car keys, which I was holding onto for security. She pushed me down a hallway when I raised my voice after asking her for my keys many times in a calm voice. She escalated my panic. My other daughter was different. She helped tremendously when I texted her for help. She said, 'I'm in a training session. I'll have to call you back.' That actually calmed me down and got me to smile. What I really needed was just some quiet time, but people around me wouldn't let me alone. It was awful.

[@lisapecora8359]

Im so happy you did this video. I agree with you on everything. yeah This happens to me alot. And it seems like people don't understand, I've had ptsd for 23 yrs. with severe anxiety. The thing I can't stand most is the it's not your fault over and over, or they want to come and try and hug you or physically come at you, and that so unconfortable for me when Im going through it. I have space issues from it and trust issues, ya know. Thanks.

[@codywilliams2368]

Im the exact same way, I have serious trust issues along with me not liking people in my face

[@Chrysonoe]

"You just have to be brave." "You enjoy living a hard life, don't you?" Hit me hard back then. Why are people so ignorant?

[@forgetseptember]

Ughhfhf. "You should be getting better now. It happened 3 months ago." "You can choose to stop thinking about it. Delete it from your brain."

[@georgerobins4110]

Karen Mertle 3 months ago? Seriously. Woooow. I’ve had people tell me I should get over it because my trauma was over a decade ago, but THREE MONTHS? That’s practically still on open wound! It hasn’t even scabbed over yet!

[@lukasc4534]

I have memories I'm 13 and I cry because of it ppl say to stop thinking about it I'm like I fucking can't

[@bluerose4810]

@@lukasc4534 it's ok,i'm 18 and i still remember things that happened when i was like 5 or 6 and i don't even try to forget because i know thats not gonna happen ,so you'll be ok i think

[@MysticMyths]

Believe me if it could be deleted like that I'd have no traumas. Plus you dont need to remember something for it to have been traumatic. I've been told that my first trauma happened before I can remember, and they're now finding you can get PTSD at birth if you were born in a traumatic way.

[@camillastyrbk9135]

It's not possible to get diagnosed with PTSD already 3 months after the event

[@christinemurphy730]

I just got diagnosed a few months ago and the worst part is that sometimes I have to tell people I have it and then I'm expected to relive my traumas before anybody believes me.

[@nikkie7834]

What not to say... “ I don’t want to offend you but have to ask... are you using, because you’re kind of showing some red flags”. No. I don’t know when I’m going to be able to leave my house. I don’t know when I want to talk to people. I don’t know when I’ll feel safe unless it’s in my home and even then it’s unknown. I just know I’m safe with myself. But thank you and I respect your concern...I think 🤔. And then came a total breakdown. That was my night so far. Until coming across your videos. 🙏🏻 thank you so much. Keep up the awesome work!!❤️

[@nikkie7834]

soul sober explosions in the sky. Caspian. Thomas Newman. The American Dollar. 🙌🏼🙏🏻✨enjoy

[@aestheticjerk2426]

Fellow PTSD victims, finally! I find it so helpful when people asked if I’m okay with being touched, don’t just touch me I also really appreciate it when I’m told that having PTSD from what happened is absolutely reasonable, or saying I’m really strong for making it this far, even if I don’t think so

[@wendysuecapps5114]

I cant stand when people minimize my experience. Im also frustrated by someone telling me i need to let it go...duh, i dont perpetuate this cuz i like it

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Totally! The fact that you can't make it stop is the whole point haha!

[@aemiliacarolphonetube9749]

My brother dismisses my trauma all the time

[@cwalker323]

You're video saved my life I went to Harvard OCS etc. You described it so perfectly I mean...... I dunno thought i was alone In this hidden battle in my mind Thank you for being so strong You are helping me and others

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Thank you so much for sharing that with me - we always have each other, friend!

[@shayne528]

Hi. I live with CPTSD, it did take 3 diagnosis’s to convince me, I wasn’t just struggling with what had happened to me, I was affected deeply. Your videos have really helped me💕 I had a trigger while out for lunch with some friends And no one seemed to understand. I hid away and ignored them for days. Sharing your videos with them, helped us all. They now understand ( so do I) that I can not always control it, sometimes I can sense my mood changing but I dissociate and than feel pressured to explain after. Explaining myself is the hardest part for me when I don’t even fully understand. Your vids have greatly helped me with that. Thank you

[@dougknight6235]

its "funny" persay.. to me having ptsd from my early childhood and then being in the military that everyone thinks that my ptsd comes from the army. yes I was deployed in Bosnia. and yes I saw some fucked up shit. but compared to my early childhood it was actually a release. I truly enjoyed the fact that when I was in combat I had no emotional attachment to anything I was doing. so no military combat service is not always the root cause and yes it may have added to as I still have the nightmares and flashbacks of that as well but I still to this day feel that was more of a release than a maker..

[@TACreviews]

Great video. I really enjoy these videos. I find it very informative since I, like most people, don't understand PTSD. Keep up the great work!

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Thank you! :)

[@dirtydave2691]

The worst part was my ex not saying anything or listening to me. "Get over it" "that was a long time ago" "you're not the only one with problems". I heard all of these from her. Thankfully I gave up alcohol 2.5 years ago and have a therapist. It's a long road but I also have my son, my friends and my dog. I didn't choose to feel this way, it is a part of who I am. Iraq vet x3. Thanks for your candor in this video!

[@miriamherrejon7472]

I can relate in so many levels. I feel as when I'm actually having a triggered attack I have the wrong ppl near me. I hate when they say especially family "it's all in your head" "get over it it happened long time ago" "you're weak" "I have been through worst and i don't have mental illnesses" "You're crazy" That's actually the worst for me when my own family sees me as a psycho. :/ Making my triggered attack worst. I found your video and channel really helpful to me. Thank you for raising awareness on ptsd. You're beautiful inside and out.

[@pacifist1360]

Exactly, my family sees me as a psycho too and yell at me all the time and treat it as if I am misbehaving. I am fedup with their lack of support!

[@courtneyfox6464]

thank you so much for your courage to do this video! When my PTSD was is my worse part in my life I couldn't work. and my grandma says to me " must not nice not to work". extremely hurtful common to say to someone who has PTSD. what I wish I said back is " Must be nice to be health enough to work".

[@caitlinlynch3896]

“Calm down, you’re overreacting.” -an ex “I got it a lot worse than you, and you don’t see me acting like that”-my sister, who also has ptsd from the same thing, but also something else traumatic she went through and I honestly think that’s worse....

[@sierrahdanford2939]

Next time someone says any of these I'm not even gonna respond imma just send this video. Thank you so much for making this ❤

[@epicrandomnathan]

Just wanted to let you know I appreciate you opening up and putting this on the internet

[@Sam-dd7tn]

I have PTSD from a medical mishap, that put me in the hospital for 4 months and ever since i have had panic attacks, constant anxiety, depression and etc. My haur has actually been falling out, for the past 3 years and I have all sorts of physical issues, because of the anxiety. Its been going on for 16 yrs, so im Pretty sure, it never really goes away. Im so glad I have came across your channel, because its nice to be reminded, you're not alone and see how others deal with it. Thanks!

[@amandafreitas1573]

Thank you for posting this! I shared it to my Facebook because my family doesn’t understand how to handle my PTSD.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Thank you for sharing! I hope your family starts to understand soon!

[@rhondapettyjohn7294]

It irritates me when people don't get what is triggering me to have a ptsd episode and tell me I'm over reacting to whatever it is. My favorite is "calm down" or "stop thinking about it" like it is going to make me calm down nor will I just stop thinking about it. Then they get upset with me when it is clear I don't need that at that moment, making those time much worse.

[@pacifist1360]

Exactly.

[@KB-tg7pf]

This is so helpful. I was diagnosed just recently and these are all the things I've been telling myself in my head. "I don't deserve to say that, I didn't serve in the military." And "Other people have gone through way worse and been just fine." It's hard to just accept it and treat myself the way I would treat other people.

[@emiievee8650]

Colleagues tell me "smile", "stop stressing about things", "but you look fine"

[@missymarie708]

It's so true, it's nearly impossible for it to go away, I have complex PTSD. And yes everyone have gone through horrible things. People just need to be more mindful over it. It takes year to never getting better. You have good days and then there's days you don't want to go on anymore. It is very real

[@hershygreenwood1003]

One of the things that my ex-partner's mum said to me was 'I've have gone through so much in life but I put away the past and live on, you should too' , I wanted to run away from them at that moment, it felt terrible that she was talking about it like it was something very trivial.

[@alexandra6570]

wow

[@pacifist1360]

@@alexandra6570 Just imagine how I feel when I hear this from my family members every minute whenever I bring up what happened to me.

[@pacifist1360]

Senseless!

[@anderseriksen8726]

I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe recurrent depression a few years ago. I do not want to go into why, but in short my life is a string of different traumatic experiences up to about 10 years ago. This is actually the first time I look into it on youtube. Hard to live with. It's hard when friends look at you with skepticism and disbelief. It has happened to me several times, so I keep it to myself now. Spends most of my time alone with my dog and my siblings. They understand at least. Holds most others at a few arm's lengths. Wish i could throw it off me but ... Anyway, thanks for what you do.

[@SusannVaa]

I got PTSD from my time having psychosis and I'm really happy to see these kind of videos! Especially people my own age making them!

[@rosegee465]

Even though I already knew not to say certain things to someone who has PTSD and my heart always when out to those who suffer from it but this video helped out a lot and showed me what you actually feel on the inside when someone says things like that. I've had similar things said to me with the depression I suffer from and that always got to me and pissed me off. I'm looking at as many videos as I can from people who suffer from PTSD since I am going to college to help service members and first responders who suffer from it and many other things. Even though I do know many phrases to stay away from I want to watch these videos to be sure I know almost everything there is to know on what to avoid. Although I'm concentrating on service members and first responders, if ANYONE ever needs someone to talk to, please feel free to message me on facebook. My name is Rosalia Genova and my default picture is of a Chihuahua with a crown on it.

[@ohcdoe1880]

"Just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again" "It's not that hard, just do it" "Just ignore them"

[@Listen1111]

I REALLY Appreciate your video! My ex just called and said you got so upset you pushed me away, so I think it's best for both of us that I left suddenly and got on a plane to CO! When I remind him that I warned him that I needed space because I felt triggered, and that my reaction was so intense because of PTSD he said I went thru the same thing! Never say you went thru the same thing, there is no way you can know all the details of what someone went thru, and no two situations are the the same, even if they are similar.

[@aliciajo4618]

I got my diagnosis at 17. I felt so ashamed. I had this internal idea that PTSD was something only older veterans and natural disasters survivors had. I carried this stigma that took a long time to go away. But once it did I found it easier to accept help

[@carlosvillarreal3026]

Just want to say thank you for putting all this out there. I have cptsd also and I don't feel so isolated since I've been watching your videos. it's not easy and people just don't understand.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

+Carlos Villarreal thank you so much for watching and helping me to feel less alone too! ❤️

[@carlosvillarreal3026]

Post Traumatic Victory You are not alone and neither are any of you that are reading this. We can't change what has happened. I've cone to the understanding that this is something I will battle for the rest of my life and every single day is a new battle. I have to tell myself all the time "Out of everything in this world the only thing I can control is how I handle things. " It works some days and others, well we all know those days that whatever triggers us ruins the rest of the day. It's hard to get out of that state of mind once you're In it. Its not like we want to be this way.

[@beachygeeg2129]

This is why I make my videos also. We will conquer this! Thank you for being you!

[@crazeconner]

YOU'RE A GODDESS! THANK YOU FOR THIS "SHORT & SWEET" (HUMOROUS TO BOOT!) VIDEO, THAT WILL HOPEFULLY CATCH ON LONG BEFORE MY NEXT *UNNECESSARY* MELTDOWN!! So this stuff happens pretty much EVERY TIME I feel I'm making progress and feel I am either 'ready' to open up to the select friends/family I desperately need back in my life, or the same desperately needed loved ones who've forced me further trauma by absolutely abandoning me during the darkest time of my life, suffering in silence 5 yrs too many already was hard enough, but my own flesh and blood turned their back on me because I "was changing" "I was different" "I was emotional" "overly sensitive" "melodramatic" "I was sick" "worthless" "lazy" "too thin" "unwanted" "unwelcome" "unfamiliar" "brainwashed" "toxic" "lost" "drunk" "insecure" "unpleasant" "unlovable" "unforgivable" "depressed" "depressing" "suicidal" "selfish" "hopeless" "embarrassment" "pitiful" "washed up" "ungrateful" "drugging" "hideous" "disgusting" "pathetic" "withdrawn" "avoiding/hiding" "missing" "dead" these are a few fancy excuses I got from my own family when I opened up to a couple about having CPTSD and the unspeakable abuse I was experiencing ☢ they've been gone now 3 years and I'm still in the same place they left me

[@jessicaschiltz1954]

Some people don't understand the anxiety that comes along with PTSD... I've had people, even some that are very close to me, tell me that it's all in my head. 😔 I've had others tell me to just not think about it... Yeah like that's an option. The worst is that some people tell me that the guilt I feel means that I must have been at fault for it in some way... And I'm like... Yeah cuz I asked to be attacked, right. And the one that people think helps but only makes it worse is CALM DOWN. If I could just calm down when experiencing a flashback or intrusive memory then I would... It's NOT that easy.

[@pacifist1360]

So sorry to hear that. Just imagine how I feel, I have PTSD because I was once attacked by police, handcuffed, held at gunpoint, cursed out and mocked for over an hour for no reason at all. When I asked the cops what did I do, they never explained to me of gave me a reason just roughed me up for fun since they were laughing and never even checked my ID or run my name. They lied saying that they were looking for someone with a gun, it was a quiet night and no one was around, I was just coming late from a music rehearsal and getting my metrocard on my way to the bus and out of nowhere, two NYPD cops just jumped on me with their guns not only pointed directly at me but touching me with their handguns. Then they lied that I had a gun and when they couldn't find anything on me, they let me go home and couldn't stop laughing and said "true, this kid did nothing wrong, we just had so much fun assaulting this kid with a buggery face". I am so mad at myself that I didn't think about suing the bastards and didn't file a complaint against the crooks at that time. When I did, it was too late as the statute of limitations expired. Now I have PTSD, and what infuriates me is people without knowing or having any idea on what happened to me saying "cool story that never happened bro", or "haha" or "stop lying" or "you must be a criminal", nope, I work full time and was an honors student at university when it happened to me, except campus security pretended that didn't happen to me and said they didn't see anything when they were literally feet away from the gate from the moment where the incident happened! To the "haha", I bet they wouldn't have been laughing had it happened to them, bastards! Senseless and makes me pissed!

[@pacifist1360]

I get the "calm down" too all the time, makes me sick.

[@pacifist1360]

I've even had people tell me "I don't wanna hear it" when I tried to explain it to them what happened, and move away from me like I am some kind of bozo. Disgusting. It didn't happen to THEM, they would then sing a completely different tune!

[@Gsgejyb]

Hello :) I’m not sure if I have ptsd or c-ptsd, but I really like your videos and they help me to understand myself and that stuff going on in in my mind better. I’m very thankful you‘re making these videos because it’s exactly what you already said. There aren’t many videos about ptsd or trauma at all on KZbin so I really have to say thank you, it helps me a lot :) Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪

[@momRaelene]

Omg right! Im so glad I ran into your channel, imthis is why I made my KZbin was to help someone with ptsd because it’s like no one understand me it’s so hard to find people who can relate.

[@mattharrison6821]

"You need to get your anger under control"

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

I got this one a lotttt from one of my abusers!

[@jesselayman616]

Your Awesome for making it known what not to say. I've been suffering from ptsd since 12-8-83 like you I tried to hide it and times I would scream it out to the world... PTSD !! And then someone will say HEY MAN YOU NEED TO LET THAT SHIT GO!!!! AND THEN I'M FULL BLOWN BALLISTIC! !! Cause God if could just let that shit go. It would of been gone decades ago. Thank you for saying everything RIGHT!!

[@genevieveholeksa4094]

Have just recently been diagnosed with PTSD, also from not being in the military, although I do have an uncle that has been in the military and now has PTSD. It is nice to know that there is another person that lives in the same province and has a similar experience when it comes to questioning PTSD

[@selena9247]

“Calm down,you’ll be okay” -.-

[@michaelmurray7199]

"But that happened what, 20 years ago?" This one I can relate to, since I get this rather often from my own kin, even though I may not necessarily have PTSD myself.

[@pacifist1360]

Wow, sounds like gaslighting to me.

[@adamreed1750]

I got ptsd from the military. I can tell by watching your videos you have it. Keep up your work. Watching you clean your bathroom gave me a small attack.

[@ravensweet1184]

Thank you for making videos like this, it means a lot❤

[@ruthfowl32]

"Just don't think about it." "You have to work with the meds". Don't let it rule your life. I am 39 years old and was diagnosed when I was 16. I have struggled with it for so long that I can not remember what life was like before PTSD. What frustrates me the most is people are so quick to dismiss any form of mental illness. If I was to tell someone I have cancer the amount of support would be overwhelming. Tell someone you suffer from a mental illness and they dismiss it. Sometimes even insult you.

[@georgerobins4110]

I find that the first thing people say to me when I say I have PTSD is “What traumatized you” which just feels insensitive tbh

[@Sixty_Five_Pronghorn]

I’m a 16 year old teen girl with PTSD. I was born with cystic fibrosis and a heart defect called Pulmonary Atresia. I had open heart surgery when I was 3 days old, leaving behind a 12 inch scar down my chest. After a long complicated year of illness, near death, and more, by the time I was 2 years old and after my 2nd (and final) heart surgery, I was set to live on happily. Well, not exactly. My parents divorced then, and I dealt with a messy family and abusive step family until I was 14, where I basically had enough and got myself “kicked” from dad’s house (don’t worry, I still see my dad and I did nothing violent or wrong). This doesn’t even take into account the other scary experiences I’ve had being bullied in school and still getting sick from CF. I have no social life, and barely feel safe to leave my neighborhood alone. I don’t usually mind it when people exclaim astonishment and admiration for me, but I must say it’s kind of annoying when my mom’s new adult friends are so shocked that I’m not a rebellious girly teenage girl. They look at me in my dusty jeans and oil-stained camo hoodies and often have loads of questions for me or begin parroting my life story the way mom told them. Then of course, there’s the loads of social justice warriors online who bombard me with DMs asking why I don’t consider myself a victim or as one of them, and some go as far as “self-diagnosing” themselves for my sympathy or attention which is a real good way for me to chastise you until you block me. Self-diagnosis and self-loathing and “identifying with one’s problems” isn’t a good way to live, but neither is completely ignoring your issues. I can’t ignore CF because if I neglected the 50 pills, 5 meals, 2 physical treatments, and all that jazz I do everyday, I’d be dead in 2 weeks. I can’t ignore my PTSD (as hard as I try), because it always comes up. I go to the mall by myself and see all of my peers laughing and having a good time with their friends, and it kinda hurts (it’s not anyone’s fault that it hurts). Or I find myself going a little further than my comfort zone and immediately retreat to the safety of home and lock myself in my bedroom for several hours. The only time I feel truly safe is away from town. I cope by hunting, fishing, riding horses, and racing my dirtbike. I also cope through comedy (and honestly, I can’t tell you how many pseudo-disabled fucktards have replied to my jokes to call me ableist and other horrible things.) If you can’t take my dark shit humor, don’t read it. If you can’t handle my lifestyle, don’t try taking part in it. I haven’t been able to “feel” for years because there’s so much bullshit I deal with day-to-day. If it’s not my tomboy ways and emotionless, no bullshit, deep conversations that have scared away and turned many of my peers against me, then it’s when I try explaining my Cystic Fibrosis to them that really scares them off. It sucks, but I’ve found that the lone-wolf lifestyle is the most book-worthy life, which I will be completing an autobiography shortly after my 19th birthday

[@madisonmilton9247]

I LOVE your videos!!! This is amazing. I have ptsd, and I have to show so many people this video.

[@HelleboreHaven]

So I’m a competitive cheerleader. I faced narcissistic abuse from a previous cheer gym, my new coaches are so understanding, but I know many people don’t get this kind of care from adults as children.

[@miriamherrejon7472]

Thank you for this. I don't feel alone now... So many insensitive ignorant people whenever they find out about your ptsd.

[@gypsyjengypsydogs9320]

Oh my! I've literally heard all of those things in the last week alone. Lol I'm always saying "why didn't I think of just calming down? Thank you so much for that advice."

[@bonnieconners9519]

Thank you for trying to explain PTSD to others. I have PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse. Most of the time I don't tell others about the PTSD. They will give me the same stupid advice. It's not that bad, just put it behind you. I don't tell people about the serious problem with sudden fear when I hear loud noises or when someone comes up behind me and touches me. The only people that know about the nightmares are the people who have seen me sleeping. I have been told that I cry in my sleep. I don't remember any of that. When I was in the hospital, my roommate told the nurse that I was crying in my sleep. The nurse told her to wake me up. I guess that stopped the crying. Of course, I remember nothing. I have been in therapy since I was 18. Whenever I try to remember any of that pain, I become very suicidal. I have attempted suicide a number of times. I don't want to go through that pain again. If I can't remember it, how do I ever heal from it? At this time, weekly therapy helps me make it through the week. Thanks again for your bravery in trying to help others to understand our fears and difficulties. Bonnie from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

[@MrJoaniejoan]

Thank you for posting this! I think one of the harmful things people say is when they try to diagnose me with something else like Bi-Polar Disorder or they tell me to get over it & move on I have a wonderful partner that is very supportive

[@arianajuni]

"So that's why I need to create that content. So that other people in the future can not feel as alone as a lot of us have had to feel" - thank you !

[@jeffrybrickley870]

Amazing how many of these I have heard over the years. Probably the most common one I hear is, "Don't think about that, just think about something else."

[@juliemeyers6531]

Get over it. Let it go. Its in the past. That person is not here I'm here.

[@ObscuriaDragunAed]

Some more. "Oh, you need to man up." "Quit being a pansy." "Yeah my dad beat me too, you just need to suck it up." one that really bugs me "I'm not them, quit yelling at me like I'm them." That one mainly because it's someone I care for, but I can't ever seem to make them understand the logical mind knows that, but it's currently busy trying to disarm a flashback or breakdown. It makes me want to pull my hair out of my head. Or my favorite, this was a homeless shelters "social worker" that said it. "You don't need that trauma anymore, you need God."

[@youtubetrash3196]

Thank you. I needed this. I usually get "Just get over it", and "Isn't that just something that war veterans have?"/"Isn't that something that Vietnam war veterans have?", and "It happened over a year ago. Just get over it!"

[@hannahnyberg6273]

Just stumbled upon this video today and there are so many uneducated people who have no idea what to say when it comes to PTSD, I really hate it when people say "you have to stop living in the past" and that "you have to stay positive"...it hurts because it's not a choice I make, it's just how I am now!!

[@angelinabelle4197]

"OMG! But you don't even act like a someone who has pstd." I have Ptsd I didn't know there was a way I was supposed to act to that

[@shangtsung8881]

I remember when I was 17, I was sent to a home in new Hampshire. For five months I stayed in that hell hole. On my final night I was beaten senseless in the dark. I a was so happy when I got out but for years I had horrifying nightmares. My girlfriend supports me [thank god] but I still lose sleep at night and get angry too often. I have even lost hair on my head. I am sure I will be ok but every nightmare is the same, me in the dark getting beaten up. But in closing the best thing u can do for people with PTSD is listen and let them let it out

[@rebellatis5346]

Some says how can I help while I'm in the middle of having a panic attack. Like I am going to be able to think logically during that time. And then my "favorite" one just don't think about it.

[@skylarfox9850]

One thing I hate is when they say get over it or things will get better Ik things will eventually get better but it comes when I least expect it. Another is, “stop living in the past” it’s hard to keep it out when almost everything triggers them. Or “ u have to talk about it come on n say it” it’s like grr just give me time if I want to talk about with u give me the time. Another is “get over it or you’ll go back to the hospital” like r u seriously saying that right now :(. My family doesn’t know how to deal with stuff like this n it’s hard to speak out to anyone about it.

[@rachaelvaldez7227]

I've only recently been diagnosed and still coming to terms.... this has been one of the first things to really help....

[@HelloHello-jc8hv]

“Really? You smile all the time/look really happy!” My mom gets this reaction all the time. Lol

[@solarbee8843]

This one guy on whisper told me "You don't have PTSD from that muffin" I just ended up blocking him because he don't know what hell I have been through

[@JDirom]

Great video. Lots to say, but the internet is never the place for me to discuss these things. Great information.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

+J Dirom oh man, I wanna hear everything you have to say, always! Beers with YYCTube soon, yes?

[@JDirom]

I am always down for a beer...lol

[@madisonmilton9247]

Omg! I love this video so much! You make me feel so welcomed and loved

[@siennaprice1351]

I’m always tough on myself whenever I’m having flashbacks or anything due to my CPTSD. I try to bottle up my emotions and deny that I’m struggling. Because I feel embarrassed and a bit ashamed to exhibit emotions that aren’t related to happiness. I usually tell myself, “what the hell is your problem? Get over yourself! You get angry a lot! No, you need a freaking cure! You better start bottling up your emotions better! Forget that your trauma even happened for heaven’s sakes!” Those are just a few of the things I say to myself. I even get physical with myself if I’m having anything due to CPTSD. I’m just trying to be more positive and be happy 24/7 and not exhibit any other emotions that are not related to happiness. Because I feel I’m not allowed to show my emotions, because I feel like it’s a weakness for me to share emotions or to have a bad day.

[@Tinabee1128]

Ive gotten the "but thats in the past" thing. However my favourite by far is the "Its all in your head" comment; like yeah, I know, thats the problem, it literally is all in my head

[@brynleytalbot778]

Fake it till you make it! Wish I'd understood that twenty plus years ago when I'd admitted to a friend that my happy demeanour was - "It's better than crying" - and I couldn't enact his advice to get away from my parents. I did get away, with his encouragement, for three months in the South of France, but on returning my whole life was eroded till I didn't know better and stayed till my parents passed. PTSD, Narcissistic abuse and Autism (probably Aspergers). And that nutshell took a lot of therapeutic discovery and disclosure with my psychologist. My only true advice is however painful it is to view people's accounts and the comments, do it to discover whether you have parallels, from which you can hopefully open up faster than I did whilst still within the situation. Total separation doesn't work immediately as the voices of abuse have to slowly lose their affect. Then you're on the slow road to either building life anew or regaining your control over your old life. So the derisory advice of it's in the past, forget it, is callous. If you could just switch off the cycles that tear you apart you would. I think the terror of intra family abuse is probably worse than that from the military. One episode is obviously traumatic and life changing for a soldier. However repeated abuse with adaptations to catch you unawares is far more traumatic. Sad that the emotionally walking wounded don't have battlefield scars to convey their trauma. It's often so hidden that people don't believe you. And that's what brought PTSD into effect. You'd never be believed if you told anyone so don't speak a word about what's happening as you'll be deemed a fantasist and face rejection and humiliation. Good luck to all on their recovery and reconnection with life.

[@Zotitched]

So while trying to cope with mine I told a friend I had PTSD and that said friend said "How does that affect you?" in one of the most rude tones they could give. That was the first time I heard someone say that in my years of having it. I don't know if that's a "common" thing people hear but that I believe is another thing you shouldn't say.

[@JourneyIntoAnimism]

Great video. Mine was aggravated by events in the military but not solely military related.

[@pnblyons]

Here's a few things i have been told by family members... "Just think positive.. Stay strong... Can't you just get over it... If that's how you are going to be..." These are some the invaliding comments i got from my narcissistic family, where all the abuse started. I also then married a man who was a narcissist who nearly took my life and the words i quoted above was what my family's response was after they knew what happened. Not that my life means anything to them or ever meant anything to them. They couldn't care less whether I was alive or dead. I can barely afford my rent and my two cats are more family to me then my blood human family. they say blood is thicker than water right.. well just because you're blood does not mean you're family. They lack empathy obviously and I am nothing like them. I am working on no contact and trying to get my life back. All I know is that the last four and a half years they haven't been there for me. Well, I am not going to be there for them. I do believe in karma and what goes around comes around. I am still very traumatised today and I have a lot of mixed feelings I still suffer with depression and anxiety but I am working hard trying to do my best and take it day by day. That's about all i can do.

[@maddy495]

"Oh you have PTSD? Just like don't be scared."

[@ziplockbags100]

I have ptsd and i was addict to drugs thank you for putting up this video day

[@AmityQ]

I have ptsd from sexual abuse and some guy told me that if we'll get a little closer I'll probably forget about what happend

[@thedoctorscompanion2851]

Same, though mine was from sexual assault... Nobody believes me at all... 😔

[@eliparrish8393]

RELATABLE!!! Its so difficult dealing with these people but it’s also a self struggle because you can’t just expect them to automatically understand. But that’s y I try to stay educated and so should they. I don’t know....

[@PavlovaPancake]

"yeah but i know someone who was raped too and they dont have ptsd" and also my brain has blocked out the rape so i cant remeber it but my body physcially does and i get small flashbacks every now and then. my mother has said to my face "you dont have ptsd and it never happened because you cant remeber it"

[@carolynnarthur9219]

When I tell people about it they usually say “why is it affecting you so much now that was years ago” “why are you thinking about that. Think about something else”. And it frustrates me so much

[@clairelouise5767]

The one that I hate is "You just have to change your perception of that situation - it's not like it's happening anymore". Why, thank you...I realise that....I wish I could.

[@kristinreale8617]

what a great video!❤️ I find it triggering to have to explain my cptsd ill never forget the time I told a friend one of my traumas and she said "oh well that explains a lot" literally still think about that and that was 6 years ago .....words like that hurt so much