What Does a PTSD Flashback Feel Like?

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Disclaimer: I am simply sharing my experiences and my opinion. Please do not take any medical advice from my content, and please speak to someone if you're struggling or have questions about your health

[@meggie93meow]

When you said you zone out but yet you’re still hyper aware of everything going around you, that is so accurate

[@stevenlewin4129]

M8 zone out and aware mean totally different things (not insulting anyone)

[@DD-oi3vh]

@@stevenlewin4129 if you haven’t experienced that specific thing yourself, it won’t make sense to you, & will seem like an oxymoron... but for those of us that experience it during flashbacks, it’s the most accurate description possible😉

[@gwenshapp3621]

Yeah, it sometimes feels like I'm mentally passing out lol

[@OhitzHurr.x_x]

You are 100% correct . Especially when you zone out whilst in a conversation and people just look at you confused and turn their head around to see what your looking at . It’s so bad

[@georgerobins4110]

I have PTSD and I’ve definitely had moments of “Goddammit, brain, now is not the greatest time for a flashback!”

[@toothpick8309]

Same

[@aniketsarkar3169]

Fr

[@YamCherie]

One of the many difficulties of PTSD is having such intense sensory experiences, and then struggling to communicate those experiences in words. It seems that most language is cruelly inadequate, and we find ourselves trapped in a glass box without a voice. Oh, it isn't that we are silent--because we scream and scream from the inside of our bodies, from inside this clear, glass specimen box, where we are on display, but entirely misunderstood. It's just that the screams echo over and over inside of us, yet to our horror, our mouths have been sewn entirely shut. In this twisted, macabre theater, nobody in the audience can even see the thread weaving in and out of our tightly drawn lips. They don't know. We just look plastic, indifferent, mechanical. Let us out! Dear God, please, break the glass and let us out!

[@mialite7959]

Awesomely accurate description. Showing my therapist this.

[@hanakokun8641]

I’m showing my therapist this. I’m crying, I couldn’t write this into words and I’ve tried for YEARS

[@Snowbever]

That sounds more like depersonalization or derealization to me

[@stitchstewie5950]

@@Snowbever everyone that has ptsd has a different reaction and undermining the way some people feel about their specific event is counterproductive and I also have to say that you probably dont suffer from this debilitating, crushing, mind and body altering condition and as a person who suffers from this if you dont have something productive or comforting to say keep your comments to yourself. This person took guts to put this video out and I for one appreciate it

[@YamCherie]

@@xalvira I just saw that my comment has 159 likes and 5 comments, but KZbin never notified me of any of this until your reply, Taylor. Thank you, to everyone, because so often I think that I have important things to say, but but live in a world full of people who aren't listening. Thank you for listening, really. It means everything to me.

[@BezdomniakPL]

ptsd flashback feels just like waking up from a nightmare for a long time.

[@joeshmow9696]

Your explanation is so on point. The “cringe” feeling when it replays again is by far the worst part for me.

[@monicakline683]

thank you for being the voice that I don't know how to be. I have C-PTSD... It's cost me almost all my friendships.. my relationship.. everything. all I have is literally the clothes on my back.. and it's hard because I'm a single mom of 3 a d the world expects me to be "normal" all the time. thank you for being the voice I can't be.. speaking of things that have got to be incredibly difficult for you.. you're making a difference in this world. may you be blessed.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

+Monica Kline we're in this together, friend ❤️ I hope that someday it won't be such a rare thing to come across someone else with c-ptsd, cause we'll be having more conversations about it

[@John_F_Kennedy79]

Hello It's me bruh man up and leave ur damn house stop cryin boi

[@John_F_Kennedy79]

Monica Kline stop being so dramatic bruh u don’t gotta go like I cri... Everytiem... It’s so bad.... My pop tart died.... Like bruh what’s with all the skipping and paragraphs

[@---1267]

Monica Kline I have ptsd too and struggle with some of these things that you have said I also tend to cut myself off from all my friends because of the anxiety I get and I’ve lost a lot of friends too because of this people just tend to think I’m a bit weird and anti social but they don’t really know what’s going on inside are heads !

[@halli7326]

Monica Kline are you homeless?

[@georgerobins4110]

I actually don’t remember my trauma (my doctor thinks it’s a repressed memory) so I don’t get the visual aspects of the trauma. I just feel emotionally really scared and overwhelmed and I often have the thought of “I wanna go home” even if I’m already at home. So basically I feel like I’m in the headspace I was during my trauma, but I don’t see anything in my mind’s eye. I also get really bad hyperarousal, especially if I can’t get away from a trigger. One example I can think of is when I was at my grandparents house and their dog wouldn’t stop barking. One of my triggers is sudden loud noises (like balloons popping and dogs barking) and there was no way for me to get away from the dog. It didn’t help that it was really humid outside and I had to pretend everything was fine. My hyperarousal that day got so bad that filtered water tasted too strong and metallic on my tongue. It felt like the world was turned up too high. It was too loud and too bright. Even the slightest smells burned my nostrils. My hair felt sharp against my skin. I described it to a friend I texted throughout the experience as: “I want to explode. Not like I want to scream or yell or anything. Just explode. Like, kaboom. But not in a suicidal way?” So that’s my experience with PTSD, I guess

[@hunternocedaclawthorn]

Ik this is old, but same. I experience the emotions but the memories are mostly gone

[@queencee3293]

Very accurate description of what I feel daily.

[@prino3518]

Thank you for sharing this because it sounds a lot like my experience

[@vain_abundalakaka]

Me too, I don't remember most of my childhood lmao

[@Dreamheartcat]

I don’t have PTSD, but that sounds a lot like my Hyperesthesia when I get overwhelmed by all the physical sensations. Just this feeling of being so completely frustrated and done with the whole experience I wish my body would just explode and get it over with.

[@TACreviews]

I like that metaphor of files being pulled out and loops like a broken record.

[@ilovemexoxo5720]

yes very much so

[@annaleecasperson]

Researching this because my boyfriend deals with this. This was very helpful, thank you!!!

[@ninayee6361]

That is so nice of you. I wish that some of the people in my life took the time to understand me better like this

[@catbrown8191]

I second Nina Yee, that’s very nice of you. The channel Psyche2Go has some very helpful videos too. It’s helped my parents understand my C-PTSD and GAD much better than I’ve been able to explain. I’ve been watching some of the various PTSD channels and I like this channel a lot too. She’s very kind in how she hosts her shows. I think of myself as an easily startled woodland creature because of the C-PTSD. I’m sure some others with the condition would agree they feel the same. So, it’s very calming and helpful that she has a gentle, kind manner. (*Edited to correct my misspellings.)

[@dominiquewade7385]

Stellate Galleon Block

[@gabriellehowell3240]

I find it vaguely familiar to nostalgia. Smells or tastes will trigger it. Like a bad version of reminiscing about some cool day on the beach with your family and those emotions you had... only your brain turned into the devil incarnate, and you really don't want to be remembering whatever it is because those emotions are the fucking worst, and fuck you brain!!! Seriously this video made me feel better. Thanksx

[@BambiTimes]

I ended up developing PTSD after my dad passed. I always explain it to people like this. It's like watching a movie reel on repeat in your head of that traumatic event over and over.

[@SincerestSawa]

you did a good job describing it, i get a variety, emotional fbs where i only feel the emotion, physical doby memories or flashbacks where i just feel pain and then i have the images you describe being in the minds eye. it seems everything that should be together as one memory has been compartmentalized or shattered so there are just a bunch of pieces to multiple puzzles all mixed up together

[@morganrhodes111]

This!!!

[@christopherjones8044]

Absolutely, As a survivor with PTSD I agree with everything you are saying. I would also like to let you know that that is one of the running theories about how to treat PTSD through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). During sessions of EMDR the therapist will tell you to think about specific parts of your trauma, while having you do a task ranging from looking left and right in a pattern to using clickers to engage both sides of the brain. This in theory causes the pieces of the trauma to be defragmented and the brain can complete the processing and allow it to enter long term memory. Once entered into long term memory the individual is not re-experiencing the trauma and attempting to process it, they are able to recall it as a being an event that happened in the past and is not currently happening thus reducing the symptoms of PTSD. Also if you have certain triggers that you feel as though are too powerful, try exposure therapy!!!

[@noahatlas5240]

I had absolutely no idea those were flashbacks! I have those ALL the time, but I thought it was a different kind of PTSD. I never thought I could have ptsd bc I didn’t experience flashbacks , but I thought those were a lot more vivid and real than what I experience. Can flashbacks look different for anyone? Does the definition of flashback vary from person to person?

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

+Noah Bradford from my understanding, it can vary. I find that flashbacks on tv are pretty unrealistic, but some people apparently do reenact their trauma. But a lot of people I've talked to have the same type of flashbacks as I do

[@karvast5726]

I don't show any symptoms of PTSD but i remenber someone punched me in the stomach and i got a really bad flashback a quick image.but this is the first time it happened to me i'm not haunted with that trauma so i guess i'm okay

[@cyansius3950]

Look up the difference of emotional vs visual flashbacks. Visual is what the media usually depicts. Its a loss of sense of reality, you visually start hallucinating and usually have auditory hallucinations. These vary depending on the severity. Emotional flashbacks contain an emotional hallucination for lack of a better term. Where you feel the exam same emotions as when the event was at its peak, and/or the physical sensations. You don't have a loss of a sense of reality, but can react to people differently. I can't go to sleep without adjusting myself so I don't have an emotional flashback where I physically feel like I am being raped again, and have the same emotional reaction. I often have to try and direct those flashbacks to get to sleep. Its particularly troublesome when you are somewhere in public and you suddenly feel like someone is rubbing up against you and penetrating you. You know its not happening, and people may notice something is wrong, but you can't just say "Oh, my organs hurt because I feel like there is a dick currently entering and exiting me because my cousin used to beat and rape me". You might get a few awkward stares.

[@ninayee6361]

@@cyansius3950 im so sorry that happened to you thats awful. As you might see in my earlier comment, idk if what i experience are actually flashbacks but I really relate to you on the sleep thing. Ive never seen someone else say that before too. Its very hard for me to sleep on my back without getting nightmares or experiencing what I think might be "flashbacks but not really" as well.

[@cyansius3950]

@@ninayee6361 What was your earlier comment? I don't see your name.

[@modestlycrowned]

The fact that you said 5-20 times a day.... THANK YOU! Your experience is helping me better understand someone I truly care about.

[@txmess20]

paralyzing

[@mikaelajackson1598]

This was a very educational video - i'm trying to write a book about someone who has PTSD, and im doing as much research as i can before i get to start writing

[@chaplinlechaplin3688]

Did you finish he book

[@Avab773]

My boyfriend and I got into a slight argument and he witnessed my first ptsd flashback and it’s really annoying bc it over comes you and you can’t really have a trigger word bc it happens so fast and paralyses you and you only think about that one things, then after is just dissociation

[@face_nemesis]

I thought I didn't have flashbacks because the only descriptions of it i see sometimes are from war veterans. but my trauma is so different from war trauma i just hardly relate, but thats also the kind of trauma i hear about constantly. every time someone explains PTSD to me (like i need it explained to me?) they give me the vet example. It totally kills me.

[@abbysworld05]

Yea, I get that it’s because ptsd was recognized first as shell shock and I found out it was recognized because of the Vietnam war because they were being treated like bad guys because it wasn’t for freedom like the other world wars, I found that out last year and likely they got the respect they deserve which was most likely before I was born, but other than that, other traumas should be addressed and emotional flashbacks cuz I don’t hear about them a lot, just visual and it can make people feel heard and also finding out somethings wrong helps people understand their problems and how to cope and get better and get help, which it obviously doesn’t happen in one day tho but it’s worth it, also most people with ptsd weren’t in the war, or army and most were women which is probably suprising to some people since people see ptsd as someone who was in the war and women weren’t in the war back then so that’s why I think people would be suprised by that

[@sagewaite7354]

sucks cuz ill be having a super deep conversation with someone and brain decides to loop then i lose track and people think im bored or ignoring them when im really just spacing out in a memory

[@gregpaullamb754]

yes I have had emotional flashbacks, my brain goes into survival mode, hyper vigilance, extreme agitation, sensory overload, ie down the rabbit hole I go,

[@Ripebonejuice]

Im so happy i came across this because i dont know anyone else who suffers from ptsd because of withnessing the loss of a loved one this helps so much to know someone has the same issues as me

[@captainjurgh8142]

I'm a South Korean Dude and i don't know if i REALLY have severe PTSD, but my brain sometimes brings me some bad part of my childhood whatever i feel happy or not. It's mostly about being bullied, stalked, making *HUGE* mistakes and facing family issues even. Sadly i remember them clearly than positive ones... I'm trying to be happy right now. Relying on my best friends and such. But oh my, it's NOT easy. I'm just glad that i'm still breathing, watching this video. And speaking of Huge Mistakes, 3 months ago, it was a hot summer day, i searched up some gory pics on the web because i wanted to chill myself out... But honestly i have no idea why i did it, but proceeded anyways. Eventually found the pic that *haunted* me when i was a kid. It was so sudden and scrolled down quickly as possible, but it was too late. It already carved me deeply. I had to live like hell because of returning of flashback. Never talked to my family, stayed up until 5 am, struggled for 2 months. Yes, i know that i brought this on myself and wasn't careful what i was doing... But it's far too late and i'm so regretful right now... Ironically, i really like some horror pics and designs. I really do!(Hence i play Doom often) However... Certain things, especially something from my childhood creeps me out and traumatizes me. Although i like such genre, i'm not gutsy enough. It's not a big deal, and others have had worse! That is true... If only i was happy and positive, tho. Sorry for off-topic rambles. I really appreciate your detailed video. Please keep up the good work!!

[@doublezzranch849]

I have 3 different cases of PTSD. You can laugh at the one last night if you like. I broke my leg 2 years ago and had 3 surgerys to save it , so I bruised it yesterday morning, and after I fell asleep I got up at 3:00 AM yelling I BROKE MY LEG , I CAN'T WALK , HELP ME TO THE CAR !!!! After a shower to clean off the sweat I sat and laughed at my self to chill out. Sad , but I worked that one out to be nothing more than a bad dream. It sucked though and I hope no one goes through it.

[@doublezzranch849]

ReviewCam : I'm sorry, I should have stated in my first comment that I use comedy / laughter to help me through some of my problems. I can be pretty open about almost anything that's happened to me , and I'm willing to encourage anyone that can benefit from my view of my self that way to laugh with me. I hope you didn't take offense to my first message. I do take it seriously and even have gotten help for the other 2 things. ( Sexualy abuse as a 10 - 14 yearold and getting shot in the back by a poacher ). I won't let it stop me. sometimes it can mess up a day. and at 47 I'm still working on it. Hope this finds you well my friend. Take care.

[@richp3281]

I just had a multiday panic attack (Didn't know what they were). I have complex PTSD from a lifetime of serious chronic health issue Trama. I started, having trouble breathing, passing out, raised blood pressure, sweats, dizziness, tremors, severe convulsions and really thought I was dying. I started self treating my imagined condition until it got so bad that I went to the ER. It took the ER, my dad, and a friend to convince me it was all in my head. Now, that I reconize this all the attacks of low blood sugar in the past(So I thought) were panic attacks on a smaller scale. Wow, these attacks are really understated.

[@storman4482]

Is this what it’s like when veterans have the “thousand yard stare”?

[@rainforecaster]

Adam Yes. Absolutely.

[@charlesmcdonald1473]

The way you discribe it, with the smells that trigger, those are the strongest for me. Sounds and sights are strong as well. My friends with has says" I've had trama and I'm fine". Trama and complex trauma aren't in the same galaxy! Thank you, I have needed you and your channel for a long time!

[@chocolatedropreborn7453]

My flash back is sound a voice,a door opening then I get scared and my heart races real fast. My triggers are a lot. It all depends on the day. What I saw or heard. I got shot 5times in my home. And now I struggle with trying to just be normal if that makes sense. My life is my home now. I get scared if people walk toward me. Night time is hard for me cause I think about my situation more at night. So sleeping is a problem for me cause I'm always watching my door to make sure no one comes in.

[@morganrhodes111]

B.B Designs/Photography I was pistol whipped/beaten and shot at but he was charged with attempted murder so I now I feel like someone is going to kill me at night especially in the car because I was in the car with the killer

[@wheresmyknome]

For me, I have different kinds of flash backs. I think I rarely get the kind of visual flash backs I used to get where its like, I get triggered and then its like a tunnel and it feels like my entire reality is now becoming the place I was in the past where the trauma happened. It sort of feels like on a daily basis I get bits and pieces of shit every day. A lot of the time its just me thinking im a child / acting like a child, acting child-like? Not always seeing images but feeling a lot of horrible feelings / body sensations that are from the trauma, that is huge. I can feel like that pain all day every day. Sometimes I have body memories where I can literally feel the traumatic thing happening again on my body. Visual flashbacks happen in quick succession for me, sometimes ill just keep getting flashes of horrifying things, images of terrible things, one after the other for a while. I see the effects of CPTSD now a lot in my relationships and how it affects my identity and how I view the world and other people. Every day I wake up terrified of being alive.

[@chellyk9745]

I relate to your comment the most here. Sorry to hear that you are going through something similar. Hang in there.

[@mialite7959]

Me too! Every day i wake up terrified to be alive. This sucks and is exhausting. You're not alone.

[@danashannon8234]

Same here

[@carolynnarthur9219]

Usually when I get a “trigger” my flash back loops and even tho it may be for a minute it feels like hours

[@alphawolf4682]

I know I'm a bit late but I just found your channel. I just got done watching this video and I just want to say thank you. My friends have been asking me about it because they are actually concerned, (which surprises me), and I showed them your video and a few of them were about to cry, so thank you because you were able to describe something I couldn't so thank you. I have PTSD from 11 years of physical abuse from my step dad. I will have a flashback 5 or 6 times on a good day. I get really tense and my mind gets confused between what's happening around me and the memory that the trigger brought up. It's a terrifying experience for me and I have become violent from it on occasion. I zone out, I'll watch what's happening outside of my body sometimes, and at times I will loose moments throughout my day. I know that you probably won't read this but if it helps someone who goes through a similar thing to know that they are not alone then I think I helped. So thank you.

[@luxurykennels7163]

This made me feel so much better that I’m not alone in this, I just cried & went through an episode before I watched this! You helped me gain strength in realizing I’m not alone. I have ptsd & the flashbacks take me back as if I’m there again, it gets so hard to snap out of it! My mom is trying her hardest to understand still. I’m going to share your video in hopes she can finally understand!

[@stefmars2989]

This is the very first video I have found that actually describes my experiences having flashbacks with CPTSD. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@emilypaille8704]

Im a nursing student studying mental health and thank you so much for sharing! This is very hard to understand for someone who hasn't been through it. I appriciate you. Thank you so much. You are a strong soul and I wish you so much healing

[@JR-cr9bw]

I stopped at 2:33 because I was crying from the moment you mentioned a clip looping. This is the first time I’ve heard something close to what I experienced a lot all day everyday. Thank you for this video. I needed a good cry.

[@popcorn.piglet808]

I really love how you’ve done this. It’s very tasteful and I feel honest and genuine and not like idk cliche it’s good. This is nice to listen to. I appreciate you and this.

[@arieldickinson9865]

I appreciate your honesty. Sometimes stuff is too hard to talk about, and it’s good to know that I’m not alone in that

[@BambiTimes]

What I get with my PTSD. Is I'll get the flashbacks of that night I'll feel EVERYTHING that I felt from that night, hear everything from that night, smell everything from that night. I'll space out alot like how you do while also being hyper aware of everything around but not able to do much about it until I come back. Then when I come back I'm super foggy headed for a bit. What triggers me most seems to be talking about it. Even now its triggering me and I've legit sat here for a soild 10 minutes just trying to get out what I wanna say but I feel that its important so I'm trying to push through. Hospitals also trigger me along with ambulances and sirens. I see or hear them and will go into an episode of either seeing that night or hearing sounds from that night. I've also recently started developing night terrors where I'll have nightmares of that night and wake up screaming and crying. It's weirding me out though cause I never had night terrors when he first passed....he passed almost two years ago. I'm thinkin it's probably from other stresses in my life that my brain is just taking and turning into that one specific trauma? I dont know? I'm glad I'm not alone in this though!

[@claratalise2092]

so im late on this video like all the other comments are a year old but someone can finally put it into words. ive been through many different traumas and most people do think flashbacks are like how they're portrayed on TV but most of the time I do get them like you do, very rarely is it kind of a "clip" i don't know how to describe it. and then auditory ones are very strange like ill be sitting in class then ill start hearing really loud yelling (i was around a lot of abuse) and i start looking around because sometimes i can't tell if others are hearing it because at school people do get in fights and sometimes the voices aren't as clear so it is really hard to describe im sorry if this doesn't make any sense but yes, thank you for making this.

[@GothClassics]

Thank you for sharing this. I live with C-PTSD and for me it depends on the time of the year. I can go months without any issues but suddenly it will hit me like a bus and for many months I hope you are recovering

[@irenericard2593]

I've been dealing with PTSD for at least 25 years. It's not fun. You discribed it well. Some days the triggers are less some bring me right back like it just happened. The triggers can be a thought, lyrics in a song, words spoken or read or just pop in my head. They can be sounds, smells, pictures, flashes of memories.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

It's the worst. And man, 25 years is a long-ass time ❤️

[@madimoonchild]

Wait I’m crying. Finally. Someone explained exactly how I feel. I’ve been diagnosed for a while but never had I heard someone explain it exactly as I experience a flashback. I don’t feel alone. Thank you

[@loricolbo5916]

Your description matches mine, pretty much. I hate that loop. I have gone for years without them and then they reappear. I no longer have nightmares thank goodness. I love your sharing as it helps others understand and for those of us who battle PTSD it helps to know we are not alone.

[@lynsi9389]

My flashbacks are very similar to yours. Something triggers me and it’s like the outside world doesn’t exist, it’s just me and my brain. I re-experience the same emotions I had during the trauma and it plays over and over again in a loop, just like you said. Usually I end up in fetal position somewhere because I lose control of my body. My hands also tremble a TON. I thought I had Parkinson’s the first time I had a flashback because the hand tremors were so bad. Fortunately, I only have these flashbacks about 1-4 times a month, so I can only imagine what it’s like for you to have to go through so many every day. I sincerely hope you’re able to overcome this and live a life free of this awful stuff. The fact you’re able to talk so openly about it on camera shows that you’ve already come such a long way already and are stronger than you know!

[@mimileaves]

Hi, thank you for making this video. I just almost drown in the river trying to help my nephew drawning. We were safe in the end, and it didn't become a big deal, or I tried to not make it a big deal because I didn't want him to feel it was, maybe for myself too. But I've having flashback loops just like you explained. I'm trying not to think about it but it just pops out like every minute. I think it's also because it hasn't been much time past yet. I wanted share this to someone who understand the similar situation and I came across this video. I wanted a word " I understand." He seems he is fine now. He kept playing in the river safely after that too. It only happened to me today, but I can under stand better about how the flashbacks are like. and I can guess how hard and sad and stressful they are for you. Also I'm so proud of you trying to explain them so cheerfully. Thank you so much！ ❤️

[@K4KUTE]

I think you did a great job of explaining this! And yes! Your flashbacks greatly resemble mine 😊 Thank you for making this video- it really helps people know they are not alone. Blessings and love 💖

[@carolynmorris7303]

There is help.

[@kovussanctuaryjules8625]

Thank you for telling those who might be triggered by medical stuff. And I’m so glad you did this video because I get these all the time and I thought that panic attacks were way worse than what was happening to me. You explained this so well.

[@Xadax1111]

I just found your channel and I am so impressed with it. I wanted to cry happy tears because I know you are making a difference.

[@lydiakelly7704]

Thanks so much for sharing! I am a nursing student learning about PTSD, and its so great to get some insight into what it is like to have it! Thanks again :)

[@GlitterEnby]

Thank you for sharing. It's very courageous and very helpful. Thank you for clarifying that flashbacks are in your mind's eye. Until really recently I thought flashbacks had to be literal hallucinations and so I didn't realize they were flashbacks and when my therapist started calling them such, I got kind of confused. Mine aren't repetitive quite like that, but I can relate so much with what you've said. The flashback space-out, yes, where you keep talking but you wonder just how obvious it is that you mentally were transported to another time. I've never head anyone else understand this before. It's so nice to hear someone else talk about it.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

+Jane May I thought the same thing (about hallucinations) for the longest time, too! I think that's just how we see it on TV, which makes sense cause it's so hard to understand in the first place, nevermind visually represent it. I'm glad I'm not alone in having flashbacks, and that you aren't alone in it either ❤️

[@Wolfbitten14]

For me my flashes backs are like pieces adding up until the picture is the pain I felt from said sensory functions that I felt after my brother unexpectedly died from his coach ran him to death. It was deemed man slaughter because he knew that when my brother asked to take a break and his body was in clear distress that the coach forced my brother to keep on running, which he ended up running until he couldn't run anymore, not breath, or just move in general because his heart was overexerted. Anyways the flashbacks for me are like pieces because it seems like when I get my flashbacks there are things that really stood out to me either because at the time my mind was just trying to grab onto something that made sense, or something that was so intense in that moment. It was all so fucking intense during and after but the things I remember the most was the panic in my father when he ran us to the hospital. That sense of we don't know why my brother was in the hospital, but it's not a broken bone it's something much worst. My dad is just as confused and as frantic as I am. Then arriving into the E.R. to hear blood curdling crying as my mom is yelling, crying at the top of her lungs in agony and then the horrible realization that this was going to be life changing for the worst. Then to look at the nurses as I was too afraid to cry as the nurses horrified, and hopeless as my mother and yet could never feel the same pain unless they too lost a healthy 12 year old on what was suppose to be a normal day. Then to peer in the room where about five doctors were around this body, I didn't have to see the face I knew it was him. Hearing the defibrillator fire off, but no heart beat, no goodbyes just the screech of a deadline. To then turn away in horror feeling like my entire world was gone in an instant. For my parents to come out of a nearby room crying, then to go into said room myself and start to screech in pain the things I didn't want anyone to see but they heard a 10 year old cry out an equally blood curdling cry of true loss and pain. There's a lot more to the story, things that have gone on for months even years after my brother's death. The men who killed my brother helping the school system to cover up the murder, and doing so successfully. The town either hating us, or being on our side because they knew that we were good people. And the fact I couldn't live a normal life after what happened to my brother which to some people might seem like no big deal, you should have been able to live a normal life after that. Which honestly only happened after I had an opportunity to go to another school an hour away to feel like I could live a somewhat normal life and even then there was a few hitches. It still feels at times I can't ever be normal, either from the fact that my parents don't want to lost their only child and can be over protective at times, or even the fact that certain trigger, or dreams either remind me of the fact my brother is not living life by my side and he's forever stuck in the past never the present, I'll get jealous easily if I see my cousins relying on each other like me and my brother use to; even just the fact that good memories eventually turn sour because of that traumatizing event that ended it all... It's earth shattering in every sense of the word, and when he died a lot of people noticed a part of me died as well. Which when I heard a person actually say that to me it verified I' not the only to have seen the grueling change as well. Hopefully writing out my frustrations to this community will help with some of the dreams I've been having lately that have been confusing and painful to me. Most of said dreams are having a lot to do with my PTSD, and my fear of losing those I currently love which has originated from this traumatic event. I know my comment is a jumbled up mess, but it's hard for me to recount everything that I not only went through by my family so I'm just probably going to end it here.

[@MsChrissyLW]

SealAwayHearts I lost my brother too. God bless you. I read every word and felt the pain and loss you described. My brother’s murderer was not charged. I never got to say goodbye. I felt it all. I don’t like sharing my emotions about it anymore because I feel like everyone is trying to move on healthily and not fall into depression about it so all of my emotions stay stuck inside of me. I find comfort in thinking that he knows I love him and I care. I think about him every single day and I feel guilty any time I’m happy without him but as soon as I get that feeling, I realize I’m thinking of him and I think he knows because the spiritual world is much different. Although morbid, I have found comfort in the thought that we all have to go one day. And the saddest loss is the first loved one to go. They are always the most unexpected and we feel so bad and so guilty that it had to be them. But please take comfort in the idea that his spirit never died. He still exists. His body died. And every good memory you have of him is like him being right there living that moment with you reminiscing. I hope you are better. Take care. ❤️

[@bhuvanajami8443]

@@MsChrissyLW "But please take comfort in the idea that his spirit never died. He still exists. His body died." - I think that was just so beautifully stated and wholeheartedly agree. Sending love :)

[@reyrey8413]

Thank you for this video. I know this video is kind of old, but it was helpful for me to hear someone describe a flashback, it makes me feel less dramatic

[@leocash2010]

Thank you for being the voice that I haven’t been able to be. I have to admit, I laugh and smile a lot; watching your videos. Simply because I can finally relate to someone 💙 thank you again for being that bright light at the end of the tunnel.

[@Vraellie]

Hi, I really like your videos. They're very easy to watch and accurate when it comes to what it's like living with PTSD. I'm a college student and will have flashbacks while I'm in class a lot. It's exactly like you said, you're just really tuned in and zoned out at the same time. It's a weird feeling. I think it's awesome you can talk about your experiences and explain what it's like, because a lot of us can't do that : /

[@misaamisaki9155]

Came across your channel today and I love it! My boyfriend told me that he has PTSD because of a childhood trauma. I never came across people who had it until i met him 1 1/2 years ago. I wanted to know more about it and read a lot of things and watched a lot of videos but none of the ones I saw explained it as good as you did. He does not talk about it that much... eventhough I know that everybody experiences PTSD differently, it is still good to hear it from the point of view of a person who deals with PTSD. Videos like this not only help people who suffer from it, but also people close to them. Your other video "What not to say to someone with PTSD" also helped me to be more sensitive and to pay more attention. Thank you so much for helping me understand PTSD more. Keep on the good work, because your videos are amazing. I hope that your channel gets bigger and gets more attention, because you deserve it!

[@Octhate]

I was diagnosed with ptsd a few months ago, and this is very similar to what I experience, thank you for discussing it because it made me feel so validated ❤️❤️

[@leahrose694]

You've literally described my life to a tee. They're like videos on repeat! It's freaking awful and I feel useless. Always. And the space-i-ness(sp) varies depending on how long it "looped". I get both sight and sounds. I don't feel like I went back through time and I'm watching everything through a 3 person view. Most big life things, like losing a loved one, will stick with me and never go away. I call my loops "Daydreams". They happened often, but I never really went to a therapist or counted how many of them I have at a time, so I couldn't really go into depth about that. (Not that I would, publicly, anyhow.) I just felt like I need to share my experiences with you. ☺️

[@normanpayne4261]

You are not alone . Thank you for your honesty and the video.

[@kristenbennett8495]

Thank you for the warning, choosing to not watch the rest of the video at this time because I'm actually doing ok today and want to keep that going lol. Your description is spot on! I never even thought that I had PTSD because all I ever knew about it was very dramatic versions of it on TV. When I was diagnosed I was like woah this all makes so much sense

[@sarahc561]

That was so sweet of you to put that warning in.

[@queentargaryen9389]

thank you I'm sorry I couldn't get through this video, your description of a flashback really let me see what was happening to me because I can barely function when it happens.

[@yuikamori3896]

first of all thank you so much for your videos on this subject i have had ptsd for about 7 or 8 years im now 21 and you have described exactly what i go through and i was all like lalala oooh im not alone in this the main difference with my flashbacks is only that i cry excessively and cannot stop on my own its exactly like what you said with the not being able to breathe other than that youve got it completely right i feel a connection even though we have never met and it actually calmed me down after my trauma file to watch your video today so thank you so much !!-

[@leannehaynes4124]

Really emotional!!!. Very intense. I'm there in the moment again. I struggle to breath normally, and tears just flow. I have triggers. For example. An ambulance parked at the doctors surgery!!!!. If I'm in the car park I have to get out!!!!!!. Even if it meant crashing my car. I have to get away from the scene!!!!!. Nightmares. Reenactments of certain events. All centred around 2 events. December finding out my precious friend. My dad was terminal with cancer!!!!!!. Then in January found out my 28yr relationship with my husband was over, as he left to be with my bf. Dad passed in the August...omg. how do I begin to process all this??. PTSD and anxiety are the weights I'm left with. It hard!!!!!!. Getting the right help is hard!!!!, but I must remain, and do remain positive. Some days being harder than others. Thank you for reading xxxx😘

[@jasonveigl949]

Your so accurate. I spent 6 years and 6 tours total in the war. And this is one of the most accurate representations I’ve heard of my situations. Thank you.

[@Smartkraut]

I have C-PTSD and it has wreaked havoc on my life in several respects. I can barely get dental work done, I have not had some medical procedures done because of it, and so many other things connected to the C-PTSD. I like what you said about the files, it is a good illustration of what happens. I have those kinds of flashbacks that you were talking about, the inside the body and outside the body. When anyone asks about my childhood, I have the same several stories I tell them, which is not much. Then I can turn the conversation around to the other person and just listen the them talk. The triggering seems to come and go, hill and valley kind of thing. I get triggered really fast and other times the same thing will not bother me at all. All this has cost me some friendships and I have learned to avoid toxic people so I don't do too much with very many people.

[@Tamsin_bear]

This made me nearly cry because my PTSD is also related to a death (my dad’s) and I could relate so much to what you said. I only found out I have PTSD today. I really hope you are doing well now

[@sdbyearb]

I don’t know why, or how, but this is pretty much exactly how my flashbacks feel, though they’re definitely not as frequent as yours. Someone who directly reminds of one event (I knew them at the time) is now at a place that I go to almost daily and every time I see them I get flashbacks, so at the moment they’re happening 5-6 times a day. I hope they do subside eventually, though. More than anything, I hope that dude will just go somewhere else.

[@TaylorN1374]

thank you for sharing this even though it was hard to do so. It helps teach people how to understand better and that's important

[@milesyoungblood7173]

Lorde was saying "send the call out, send the call out"

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Amazing, thank you haha!

[@LifeontheBush]

I had a flashback in a fabric store because someone slammed a bolt of fabric onto a table and the noise was very triggering, I remember thinking “really why now”

[@tynce563]

Thankyou for being vulnerable in order to educate us. :) I was curious about how this really presents more in people and trying to better understand what it’s like.

[@kyralavelle1967]

I just found out today that I have C-PTSD and I was terrified that I was alone. Thank you for this and thank you for pushing through to make this video.

[@rhyzz7155]

Oh god, thanks for clarifying this. I know this is a late reply but I was googling around because I was worried I was overreacting about my PTSD. And then you explained how yours worked and I went "those are flashbacks? But I have those all the ti-- ohhhhhhhhhh..." I didn't realize I could live a life without those. thanks so much

[@ruthc.5414]

Flashbacks for me are like the rest of the world kind of goes on mute while it’s happening. Like I jumped into a pool of water and then when it stops, it’s like surfacing from the water. I lose track of conversations if that’s what’s going on or I’ll forget what happened during the part where the flashback is happening. I’ve watched three of your videos so far and I’m so happy that I found your channel. I’ve never heard of someone else who got PTSD from watching a loved one die of a prolonged illness and I’ve had several people tell me that EVEN THOUGH I’ve been medically diagnosed with this, it’s not real because “you can’t just get PTSD from someone dying”. I will be watching the rest of your videos for sure.

[@steakyhumus5628]

From the first 20 seconds you completely explained how I feel. It’s really hard to imagine it day-to-day. I’m sure some are dramatic but it’s difficult to trust movies. I appreciate this video a lot

[@noddygirl]

Thank you for making this. It's so incredibly hard to describe flashbacks to ppl. I saved this and will now show it to ppl when I'm trying to articulate the experience of having a flashback.

[@Soul_23]

Thank you for making this because people don’t understand what I’m going through 😭 your experience has many similarities to mine and I couldn’t find a way to explain it so thank you

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Thank you for being here, and I’m sorry you have similar struggles 💚

[@emmyjeanhasacamera]

I have c ptsd and full dissociative flashbacks where I don’t know where I am, and nothing around me has context. I get triggered often, but I don’t consider getting stuck in my thoughts a flashback really, but that is my personal situation and I think I protect myself by only calling full dissociative episodes flashbacks. I’ve been doing EMDR for 5 years and it has been a HUGE help. I also have the kind where I reenact how I did in a situation or how I wish I would’ve been able to. Ptsd is beyond complicated and I love that you’re making videos about it

[@alexistracy818]

It does get repetitive. I will go awhile thinking that I'm handling it well and given myself good healthy outlets and all of a sudden something with happen and im back emotionally and I just want to hide from people and I get very anxious and worried and I start over thinking everything if I'm in front of people and I become really worried that they will notice that inside I'm having a moment where I am just falling apart. Also I get this weird sick feeling that happens to me and for just a few seconds im very nauseous and I need to breath for a moment.

[@benleonheart]

I hope you're doing better!!!!!! my nose is itching too, it itched when yours itched! flashbacks are very weird! I think I've only experienced like 10 flashbacks on 3 years. but I mostly get intrusive imagery. like a severe overload of imagery and omg it gets my heart racing!

[@Squawk24]

You did a really good job of explaining - I identify totally.

[@cassie4386]

I have similar flashbacks to what you describe. I get in and out of body visuals like you do. I don't really hear the flashbacks unless it was a sound (someone's voice, a helicoptor...etc) but that is usually going on in real time too. I have experienced multiple things to get flashbacks. It sucks. There is one that when I feel it I push it out because that one feels like I am reliving it and the real time world...I don't see it at the time that I am having THAT flashback. I just started going to see a therapist. I had to switch my therapist (already) and I'm nervous as to how my new therapist will handle my flashbacks. They specalize in ptsd and trauma so I have more hope to get the tools I need to deal with them. Right now, I just inwardly freak out and try to keep myself busy so I never have time to think or go back. Thank you for sharing. I know that it isn't easy to talk about and explain.

[@BadEconomyOfficial]

For me, it takes me back to the night I was severely bullied.

[@alyssahiill4575]

Sometimes you can talk about it, sometimes it’s triggering

[@hiraethsystem3001]

Welp, I wish I had come across this video when I was struggling with whether or not I have C-PTSD. I used to think flashbacks were like a completely out-of-body experience almost like a hallucination (I get those too, they're great :):):) ) but I related so hard to this video that I paused at multiple points so I could just be like "YES, that's it EXACTLY." I don't feel comfortable elaborating more on my flashbacks but suffice to say this was spot on for me.

[@LissyBabyBop]

I also have c-ptsd from multiple traumas. One of them for me was, like you, witnessing my mother's death. So I can totally relate to you. You described it very well. It's so hard to put in words but you did a great job. I'm in a billie eilish and grimes phase right now :) Looking forward to seeing more from you!

[@burningcoal5705]

I'm thankful to have really supportive friends who understand what I go through. I'm normally very friendly and extroverted but when I'm having an episode I'll become silent and pull myself out of reality until their like hey dude you okay? Make someones day and try to talk to them

[@duustincrawford2945]

Thank you for making these videos

[@Zopicloned]

When PTSD was at its worst for me I was literally hallucinating things related to the event, colours, the smell of the room, pain in my stomach, voices, etc. it made school very difficult and I underachieved academically

[@38gastricbypass]

I am glad to see this video. You have described PTSD perfectly. Panic attacks is another symptom of triggers or that random I dont know why this is happening feeling. I suffer daily and this condition is like having epilepsy ( random ceure) Not fun and I am great at parties. This condition has limited my life in so many ways. It is difficult for me to be in crowds, be around new people and after a public panic attack having people call you CRAZY. But everything you said is spot on. Thank You, I am not alone

[@GlitterismyCRACK]

Girl I feel ya. I’m the same way with my PTSD. And yes the episodes are very hard to explain.

[@nuriablanco.bookreviews]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. You are very brave. I'm very sorry about what happened to your mum and to you. I do not suffer from PTSD myself, but I really think this condition needs more awareness, because not many people know what it is. I hope everyone that has it could get help and learn how to control their triggers. I heard some people has flashbacks and do not remember they had them, is that possible? Like their friends or family see them having a flashback and talking to themselves and then they wake up and do not remember having that flashback. Thank you again and my best wishes for your therapy and recovery.

[@valerieprince5935]

I agree with how the flashbacks work in how repetitive they are. Like something just on a loop. And in my mind, I'll see the image or a brief memory sort of veiled over what my eyes are actually seeing in real time. It gets super distracting and I'll start feeling terrified and saddened, but more like how a child would feel those things and I think it's because I was a child when the traumatic events occurred. It takes so much effort to push the thought away, so keeping myself busy helps with occupying my mind, but it does get tiring. But the flashbacks are very often accompanied by panic attacks, because my mind and my body feel like they're in immediate danger. It get's very hard to breathe and I find myself unable to speak and I don't like any kind of touch or vocal interaction from anyone because of how afraid I am. Nightmares of memories have also been a problem. It got so bad at one point that I would exhaust myself before bed, either by exercising or reading/ watching movies extensively so that I would pass out from exhaustion and wake up not feeling rested. But it worked in that I would black out and not dream anything. I've moved past that point, but it was something that maybe someone else can relate to. Also, the flashbacks got to a point of, instead of just veiled over what I saw, they would become actually part of what I was seeing, but nothing was there. Like a distortion of reality for a split second, which is extremely terrifying to suddenly see something horrific and in your face and then have it disappear. It's friggin tiring as hell. I feel always on alert and can rarely if ever relax without feeling like something bad will happen if I do. I wish I had the means to get help and see someone about it, but hopefully soon I can be financially okay enough to do that. But thank you so much for the video

[@tayajohnson9009]

During my flashbacks I cant talk. So my friends try to talk to me during one and I dont answer for awhile

[@Lucia-yc9zj]

I’m sorry I’m years late to seeing this video, but thank you so much for making it. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD but I tried to argue that I don’t have it, I couldn’t possibly, one because denial is a real thing, and two because my flashbacks don’t look like the ones on tv or in the media, they’re more like what you described, so I thought that mine weren’t flashbacks, just unwanted memories like remembering an embarrassing moment or something. Anyways long ramble to say this was validating and I can relate so much so thank you 😅

[@perfumaphilia3246]

I didn't realize that what I experience are flashbacks, but it's pretty much exactly what you described. For me they're mainly emotional flashbacks where I'll get a wave of the worst grief or most gut-wrenching anxiety, but I'll also experience a prominent visual component as well. However, I've never been formally diagnosed with PTSD or C-PTSD.

[@lialock47]

I know that this video is old. But I only recently found your channel and right now I kind of just need a reason/space to organize my thoughts. I have been diagnosed with PTSD from a single event but also experience symptoms from parental abuse I suffered as a child. My flashbacks vary. Most often, I experience ones like you discussed here where I get image flashes in my head that are most frequently triggered by sounds but other things can as well. These are the ones that are a daily issue for me and the ones that people don't really notice because as you said, I'm still functional and am usually just extra snappy. However, occasionally I will experience flashbacks more akin to media portrayals where I'm completely absent from the present (I've been told I'll usually rock and won't stop staring at whatever triggered me). To me I am stuck reliving the event until someone or something breaks me away (usually with loud noise because if touched I will lash out). Thank you so much for having this channel. I can't even talk to my friends and family about these things let alone do so in the way you do. Watching your videos really helps me to feel semi-normal even though I know I'm not. And seeing you be so open about these things is slowly helping me to open up more as well. I'm in college, so living in a world where most people haven't experienced significant trauma, this channel has become a nice outlet for me to remind myself that there are still people similar to me

[@elodeagg457]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is very helpful.

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Thank you so much, that’s so encouraging 💚 thank you for being here!

[@elodeagg457]

You are very welcome. And thank you to you too! 😁

[@SimplyWhitneyVSG]

My flashbacks are more emotional triggers. Something happens that triggers emotions that bring me back to traumas and it's almost like i'm almost in that moment again.

[@irisstarker9374]

For me it is extremely stong memories of the event that is accompanied with panic and fear. I actually didn't fully understand and doubted having it until I seen a video of KZbin. I now have excepted it fully and am trying to manage it.

[@StefFrederick]

I have social anxiety disorder, but i get this too. I have just a few experiences that come in visual loops, but i really struggle with the emotional state and being snappy with those around if something causes me to regress for some reason. I've just recently started to figure out that my random, excessive anger actually just happens when I am in fear, althoughthe situation may not call for it, but reminds me of a situation that did. It is hard to stay grounded, but catching it when you're not is a significant first step. I'm just gonna be watching your vids the rest of the day at work lol

[@kaynaydiawilliams6017]

You use the word looping and that's what I always explain my flashbacks my friends will ask about my day and I might say I've been looping a lot today