POV: You're invading Earth but Humans are a lot scarier than they told you they were in the training

[@SpookSkellington]

When the murder-ape that's twice your size who evolved on a world with 4 times as much gravity as yours learned that your kinetic shield doesn't stop his trench shovel:

[@raidenj1295]

Average tau vs krieg

[@ArmandoEnfectana-bp6jo]

​@@raidenj1295, Tau didn't had mastery in they're tech because they keep advancing while the Krieg just master of using his shovel to shove the Hell his enemies.

[@TheHylianJuggalo]

🚬"Listen to me, pal. I know you have a fancy translator device in that "ear" of yours, that can understand what I'm saying. So I'm going to give you a brief history lesson of the human race. It is one of constant bloodshed, death, destruction, warfare, torture, slavery, and conquest. In the half million years that "modern man" has been alive, it is estimated that we've only had about sixty, non-consecutive years of peace. All days taken together, that's the rough estimate they add up to. Even in our times of peace, there is ALWAYS at least one person on this earth suffering horribly at the hands of another every single day. That says nothing about our history of disease. A whole continent was tempered in the fires of the "Black Death", that killed nearly a quarter of its population in just half a century. And out of fear of that sickness, we killed even more of our kind. When we gained an understanding of biology and illness, we learned to weaponize it. We slaughtered entire continents this way. We play and experiment with horrible things that could wipe out the entire world in a matter of days, just out of morbid, hubristic curiosity. You know, we used to have another species of human on this planet - Neanderthals. Would you like to know what happened? They're dead. We killed them all. In fact, our scientists have a theory, that we experience this psychological phenomenon, known as the 'uncanny valley', precisely because of them - fear of something that looked *almost* like us, but still, very clearly wasn't. A single nation, long before the advent of ballistics or motorized transport, took over an entire continent over 3000 years ago. another nation, 2500 years later, took over half of the planet, BY ITSELF. That nation, then gave birth to an even more powerful one, who would go on to harness the power of the sun, and vaporize 100,000 people in the blink of an eye. Just 100 years ago, we fought the two bloodiest conflicts in the history of this planet, that killed around 4% of the planet EACH TIME." Did you know the MAJORITY of our scientific understanding came from torturous experiments we did on each other during those wars? Sometimes, you run across a SINGLE human that's so good at conquest, 10% of the world still has his genetics because he had his way with the millions he conquered. We've always wondered about space, you know; our legends, our stories, our fantasies - what it would be like to travel the stars. We were honestly shocked to find space travel was even possible when we landed a man on our moon. We've been trying to go further ever since. And in our curiosity, of those stars, we grew a little fearful - we asked "What if we ran across a horrible, monstrous race that only wanted to kill and consume? What if we get destroyed by something 'evil' out there? Well, we never really did consider the possibly that WE were that horrible race, but after this little skirmish started between your world and ours? If you think what we've done to each other is horrible, imagine, what we are going to do to you - when we reverse-engineer your fancy saucers, and phasers, and plasma rifles... And take your world in the name of Man. Despite all of our infighting and sordid history, there's an interesting thing about mankind - we are naturally more cooperative with eachother than we we are destructive. Because if we weren't, we would never have created the society we have now. And NOW? Now we ALL have something to cooperate against. You just shook the wrong hornet's nest. I hope the 'research data' was worth it. I know your little 'Galactic Federation' see the fact that a lot of us are still religious as some primitive thing that serves no purpose, but on the contrary, I implore you... Pick a god and start praying. It's the only thing that's going to save you, now."

[@twotailedavenger]

"KINETIC BARRIERS DON'T STOP FLAMETHROWERS, MOTHERFUCKER!"

[@TheHylianJuggalo]

🚬"Listen to me, pal. I know you have a fancy translator device in that "ear" of yours, that can understand what I'm saying. So I'm going to give you a brief history lesson of the human race. It is one of constant bloodshed, death, destruction, warfare, torture, slavery, and conquest. In the half million years that "modern man" has been alive, it is estimated that we've only had about sixty, non-consecutive years of peace. All days taken together, that's the rough estimate they add up to. Even in our times of peace, there is ALWAYS at least one person on this earth suffering horribly at the hands of another every single day. That says nothing about our history of disease. A whole continent was tempered in the fires of the "Black Death", that killed nearly a quarter of its population in just half a century. And out of fear of that sickness, we killed even more of our kind. When we gained an understanding of biology and illness, we learned to weaponize it. We slaughtered entire continents this way. We play and experiment with horrible things that could wipe out the entire world in a matter of days, just out of morbid, hubristic curiosity. You know, we used to have another species of human on this planet - Neanderthals. Would you like to know what happened? They're dead. We killed them all. In fact, our scientists have a theory, that we experience this psychological phenomenon, known as the 'uncanny valley', precisely because of them - fear of something that looked *almost* like us, but still, very clearly wasn't. A single nation, long before the advent of ballistics or motorized transport, took over an entire continent over 3000 years ago. another nation, 2500 years later, took over half of the planet, BY ITSELF. That nation, then gave birth to an even more powerful one, who would go on to harness the power of the sun, and vaporize 100,000 people in the blink of an eye. Just 100 years ago, almost every single 'nation' we have, fought the two bloodiest conflicts in the history of this planet, that between each, killed around 8% of the entire population. Did you know the MAJORITY of our scientific understanding came from torturous experiments we did on each other during those wars? Sometimes, you run across a SINGLE human that's so good at conquest, 10% of the world still has his genetics because he had his way with the millions he conquered. We've always wondered about space, you know; our legends, our stories, our fantasies - what it would be like to travel the stars. We were honestly shocked to find space travel was even possible when we landed a man on our moon. We've been trying to go further ever since. And in our curiosity, of those stars, we grew a little fearful - we asked "What if we ran across a horrible, monstrous race that only wanted to kill and consume? What if we get destroyed by something 'evil' out there? Well, we never really did consider the possibly that WE were that horrible race, but after this little skirmish started between your world and ours? If you think what we've done to each other is horrible, imagine, what we are going to do to you - when we reverse-engineer your fancy saucers, and phasers, and plasma rifles... And take your world in the name of Man. Despite all of our infighting and sordid history, there's an interesting thing about mankind - we are naturally more cooperative with eachother than we we are destructive. Because if we weren't, we would never have created the society we have now. And NOW? Now we ALL have something to cooperate against. You just shook the wrong hornet's nest. I hope the 'research data' was worth it. I know your little 'Galactic Federation' see the fact that a lot of us are still religious as some primitive thing that serves no purpose, but on the contrary, I implore you... Pick a god and start praying. It's the only thing that's going to save you, now."

[@Scientist118]

When you hear a human regiment scream "Fix bayonets" and overrun your frontlines in a night raid.

[@alexanderamayahernandez3912]

You see that one 17 year old American marine that ran out of beef jerky and dip two days ago and hasn't eaten all day starts sprinting at you with his mini shovel.

[@KanzlerOttoVonBismarck]

you hear tenno heika banzai before meeting the end of a katana

[@alexanderamayahernandez3912]

@@KanzlerOttoVonBismarck "here comes the sun... fuckin oh no" Japan 1945 probably

[@SalmonFeet]

Mfw I accidentally activated a genetic memory of the human regiment (They are in fight mode) (Pure adrenaline is pumping through them) (They have next to no regard for their own life and will do anything to kill me)

[@RomanumChristum]

@@alexanderamayahernandez3912’YOU TOOK MY CRAYON SUPPLY’

[@gargamel679]

the aliens watching the "primitive humans" shower their landing zone with rocket artillery

[@Toactwithoutthinking]

Clanner moment in Battletech.

[@absoluteretard1734]

Truly a smoke jaguar moment ​@@Toactwithoutthinking

[@ekkovaan2261]

Pov: the monkeys are turning your landing zone into a potato field with same day delivery

[@champion_of_imperium]

Let me add: THERMOBARIC rocket artillery

[@user-fy6kr7yr9c]

If the aliens managed to reach us first then I feel like they would be so advanced that any resistance would basically just be futile.

[@D3K43]

When energy shielding doesn't do shit against a chunk of metal going +400mph

[@joseocasio3740]

When the energy shield does fuck all against my Ford F150 going 95 mph

[@enviousshogun]

based pfp

[@D3K43]

@@enviousshogun Thanks dawg. Opposing Force is my favorite Half-Life game

[@enviousshogun]

@@D3K43 its been my pfp on discord for a few weeks 😁

[@JärvinenKarl_Fox]

​@@D3K43hey mine as well... surprised to see one who remembers such a game...

[@francisjones7940]

Aliens be acting gangsta until they learn that our closest genetic relatives are Chimpanzees

[@alexanderamayahernandez3912]

That... explains a lot

[@SalmonFeet]

GIVE EM THE OL’ DICK TWIST

[@francisjones7940]

@@SalmonFeet 'nice laser, now allow me to introduce you to mustard gas

[@richardmackendrick4342]

Bonobos actually. Still, not an animal I'd mess with.

[@deadzone4155]

​@@richardmackendrick4342I mean yeah, look at their ass!

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

Remember lads. We might be primitive to them. But an ape in plate armor swinging around a shotgun is still scary

[@ndogmario]

I just imagine an actual gorilla loose in the zoo swinging around an AK

[@SupposedlyChase]

you're right. I'd be more scared of a man with a sword in my house than a gun

[@ConsueloWubba]

Ape strong

[@alliedd1001]

is that a reference to that old astartes vs eldar post? lmfao

[@Nod0nFire]

We may be the equivalent of gorillas waving around AK-47’s to the aliens, but you wouldn’t like fighting a gorilla with an AK-47 any more than the aliens will like fighting us.

[@-Fellow_Comrade-]

Very well said comrade

[@r-fitz9739]

Last time I checked, 7.62x39mm doesn’t care what species you are.

[@uonossn9987]

​@@r-fitz9739 based murkrow pfp.

[@r-fitz9739]

@@uonossn9987 Thanks G

[@uonossn9987]

@@r-fitz9739 np G

[@falsified6432]

when your species has grown up with laser weapons throughout its entire existence and the bipedal mammals start shooting metal at you

[@pyerack]

*Throw Rock Fast* *Boil Water Spin a Thing* And *Caves*

[@kingsnakke6888]

Or for extra funni: The bipedal apes use dinky laser pistols that _explode you with one _*_weak_*_ shot_

[@megagamernick9883]

If you didn’t know lasers when encountering fog suffer from thermal blooming. Or any kind of smoke or particles. Meaning you could cancel out lasers with a fog machine. Imagine making a nearly perfect light based weapon only to be defeated by a spirit halloween fog machine and an AK-47

[@RomanumChristum]

That’s actually a thing in Star Wars. Slugs (bullets) are so forgotten that they can cut through the advanced technology of the galaxy like paper.

[@megagamernick9883]

@@RomanumChristum if I remember correctly a lot of armor can stop slug throwers but it’s still used for assassination purposes and covert ops.

[@CrusadingJello]

Remember, human rights don't apply to the alien. Go nuts.

[@cro-magnoncarol4017]

Are you kidding, even most humans don't get "Human rights"... Those aliens are toast...

[@chibisayori20]

what if the alien looks exactly like us?

[@davidjefferson4941]

@@chibisayori20 They only delay their inevitable demise

[@townfuneral4564]

remember, we arent winning either way, be real lol

[@townfuneral4564]

@@cro-magnoncarol4017 i mean if they can already travel across galaxies to get to our planet we are most definitely cooked either way use ur brain lmao

[@campfire7525]

"Mr. President, an alien mothership is approaching earth, what should we do?" "Oh finally, we can get rid of all our nuclear missiles stock"

[@ibraheemshuaib8954]

Russia: "Finally, a target which isn't overkill for the Tsar Bomba"

[@18Hongo]

​@@ibraheemshuaib8954 Also Russia: "So how do we get the bomb up there?" Everyone else: "The mothership is 10 feet off the ground - how hard can it be?" Russia: "You really don't understand how heavy this bomb is"

[@declansavage519]

@@18Hongo Deploy Babushka

[@StormRider-t4q]

Missiles: **runs out of fuel, keeps going** ... Mothership: **slowly moves out of the way as the missiles float by** Starship Commander: "Wait, were those arrows? ... Scan them!" Scan Operator: "Hmm, a primitive form of rocketeer technology that's warheads are made from exactly the fuel source our ships reactors need in the first place." Starship Commander: "They gave us tribute! The king will be pleased! Soon all motherships will be positioned around this star system to protect our new allies!"

[@squadcode71]

"We were born to inherit the stars" -Humanity

[@Mate397]

"And we are not sharing."

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

That’s one dumb as all hell saying. Galaxy’s massive, no need to fight over it

[@TheRealMahitoe]

Born out of oblivion May we never crumble We were the sole inheritors of the stars, born for the role We refuse to share We are indomitable

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

Y’all crazy. There’s more than enough space to share. It’s literally infinite.

[@Mate397]

@@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331 Xeno lover, you stay silent.

[@Then00bhunt3r]

Imagine your drop ship landing in Appalachia and you lose a third of your squad in the first 24 hours of fighting only to realize that their military hasn't arrived yet.

[@SupersuMC]

And then you experience a hurricane. Too soon?

[@Then00bhunt3r]

The locals just assume the aliens are FEMA workers

[@yawarapuyurak3271]

The locals were in dire need of electronics 😂

[@seagaulle]

A third of the casualties are just from them walking around in Huntington at night.

[@lebbermin2107]

That's some next level fear

[@mr.teacup5272]

An alien seing his comrade in a heavy suit being killed by a human armed with a concrete saw

[@kriegertechpriest7011]

"KLICK MONT TOK'NA SVEI!" *Translating filthy xeno to Terran standard* "THAT PRIMITIVE HAS A FUCKING SAW!"

[@Willdarts]

Concrete saws would be an extra-brutal way to get killed. The blades don't cut, instead they slowly grind, tear, and burn away at the flesh beneath the power armor.

[@champion_of_imperium]

No no no him getting killed by *Sapper Shovel (or Field Rifleman Shovel)* or his head being blowed up by 12mm 50gramm sub-sonic piece of metal

[@Kreschavier]

An alien after watching his entire division get caught out in the open by a bunch of "primitives" wearing armor, swinging swords, and riding horses.

[@samzilla567]

Alien Overlord: "What do you mean these apes have practiced killing each other nonstop for thousands of years and developed weapons that can glass planets?!"

[@assaulthetz]

Alien Officer: "I..its crazy Milord... while they glassed a nation once, and now preparing to glass more of their OWN BIOSPHERE, ultimately destroying their own civilization through countless of WARS! They were not united... yet, the somehow did after we attacked them! Their sights turned on us! They saw us as a way to unify these Deathworlders have a reason to fight someone that are not of their species! What shall we do, Milord!?"

[@Lewisdavidson9026]

​@assaulthetz As the napoleon meme goes, "There is nothing we can do."

[@silverseth7]

'With this human relic, I summon a piece of the sun'

[@sarubet8725]

@@assaulthetz wowzie reddit humanity fck yeah chungus moment

[@sureindubitably3771]

We boutta turn Tatooine into glass 🗣️🔥🔥🔥

[@PelinalDidNothingWrong]

POV: The Humans have discovered your energy shielding doesn't stop a Molotov Cocktail

[@bartomolev6682]

when you realise mere riot police gear can protect an officer long enough for him or someone else to put out the fire. So even something as primitive as a militarized space suit would offer enough thermal protection to render the Molotov almost useless

[@kacperspisz4239]

me in rimworld against all mechanoids

[@KorianHUN]

Hungarians in 2056: "weird speaking fuckers invading us from far away... oh right, just use the same procedure as we did 100 years ago, molotov cocktails!"

[@RedGhost2008]

I always think about acids and diseases, those 2 weapons can be pretty much useful against aliens that never seen those things.

[@Spider-Man2094]

And they brought flamethrowers back just for you.

[@antthefool7637]

"Me against my brother, my brother and I against my cousin, and all of us against the stranger."

[@projectdeveloper9311]

Middle east on the first sign the aliens don't follow any known scripture:

[@mgeorgeafarge7456]

Middle East? The entire world is banding together.

[@idontlikerome2744]

I like your funny words magic man

[@davidjefferson4941]

Allah never said aliens would go to Jannah

[@alexodeh]

This is the best middle east quote that applies here

[@wardenwiththedrip6893]

The aliens watching as the "feral primates" who used sticks and stones the last time they were on earth now launching actual fucking SUNS at them

[@troyt6532]

And the primates made thousands for some reason, enough to end multiple worlds.

[@bl00dix82]

"You came looking for Victory" "The only thing you will find is an early grave or scorched earth"

[@joseocasio3740]

"Earth will have its empire, even if it is drawn in the last map of the universe"

[@inyrmind]

They came for our blood but wound up drowning in their own

[@sunrisejackdaw1779]

​@@joseocasio3740 "aight bet." and then the rkv hit the planet.

[@creeper326.]

@@inyrminddamn man, that hits hard

[@inyrmind]

@@creeper326.Thanks, got it from one of my favorite games, Call of Duty: World At War every time you win as the russians

[@allaware1971]

Imagine explaining the history of humanity to a tied up alien, in a basement with a bunch of warriors.. then while you get ready to waterboard one, you talk about the horrors humans have done during war times. "If we do this to eachother, what do you think we're gonna do to you?"

[@SalmonFeet]

“We’ve done worse to eachother for less, what do you think we’re gonna do to an alien trying to kill or enslave our entire civilization?”

[@allaware1971]

@SalmonFeet first telling them about the wars in history "then, we started looking into interrogation techniques... " grabs a towel and fills a bucket with water "we tested a lot in the 20th century, using all sorts of things..." throws towel over aliens head

[@SalmonFeet]

@@allaware1971 “…and I bet back where you come from, you have all sorts of horrific ways to torture a man. But look around you pal, you sure are a long way from the comforts and familiarities of home, and you sure as shit ain’t gonna see them again..”

[@allaware1971]

@@SalmonFeet "water..? fuck that, this is what we call _gasoline_ "

[@bigboi4269]

"sup jit, you know what a scoville is? nah? good."

[@richardmackendrick4342]

The trees start speaking vietnamese, the snow finnish, the trenches Ukrainian, the rooftops Korean, the one place you gassed Russian, and then the sky starts speaking in fortunate son...

[@markpankiw]

All fun and games until your own trench sings oh canada

[@Mr_Warcrimes_Himself]

Let the world itself cry the voices of its people, all banded under one name, against all that would dare to crush us from beyond the stars: Humanity. And let that voice cry with the bellows of artillery, the rage of the GAU-8. The roar of an F-22 and the chants of any crazy enough bastard willing to fix a bayonet as he sprints to reenact a jousting match with some little xeno bastard that thought Earth was a perfect little spot to vacation after wiping out the people born to inherit the stars.

[@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic9767]

So you retreat into the plains where you think you're safe.... But then hear the thud of horse hooves and Bogurodzica

[@ulacylon-timetrio9664]

@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic9767 ​And as you retreat into the woods for cover, you hear “SS Marschiert in Feindeslande” as you get raked from the rear by MG3s and HK416s.

[@RocketPropelledMexican]

And then the approaching car starts singing in arabic...

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

"You want something to probe? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO PROBE! PROBE THIS!" - The murder Ape behind the railgun, he recently "borrowed."

[@alexanderamayahernandez3912]

I can't help but read this in either a really thick southern accent or a really deep Russian one 😂

[@bigboi4269]

The previous owner is in a footlocker with a mop handle impaled through his rectum.

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

@@alexanderamayahernandez3912 If said in a said in a Southern voice, he says it while laughing, if said in Russian he says it bluntly

[@Agustin_Leal]

We don't need to "borrow" their railguns. We have ours.

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

@Agustin_Leal Yeah but eh they have faster bullets.

[@_Morph1ne_]

“Humanity will always resolve to be victorious xeno. There is no other option. 7,000 years of warfare have taught us that there is only one certainty in war: woe to the vanquished.”

[@themarlboromandalorian]

Vae Victus.

[@OzyWazza]

We used atomic weapons in our ONLY AVAILABLE BIOSPHERE. Yeah - don't mess with us :D

[@Sir_Baltimore]

Aliens would obliterate us, they could just send a death ray from the moon if that's what it takes

[@gabrielc7861]

​@@Sir_Baltimore But then there would be no point. Why would they destroy the resources they came for?

[@Sir_Baltimore]

@@gabrielc7861 The point is that we should stop trying go pretend like we're stronger than aliens

[@gabrielc7861]

@@Sir_Baltimore Aliens don't even exist in the first place, so why do you care so much about how people interpret fantasy?

[@Sir_Baltimore]

@@gabrielc7861 What would you know about the rest of the universe?

[@simplewrites]

"They... They were everywhere. Everywhere I tell you. Every rock, every tree, every puddle. We burned it all down and they kept coming. From the ash, the mud, the rubble. They kept coming. They didn't stop, they simply did not stop. So many... So many. I watched my brothers drown in their blood. I watched them being torn limb from limb. And I heard the apes laugh. Sire... I don't think I can go back." Final transmission report of Commander 2nd Class Kun'Tal, 5th Cohort, 3rd Legion, 29th Conquest Armada

[@michaelawesome1864]

And we'll fucking do it again.

[@monarchistfront1452]

The fact that they apparently had to send _29_ Conquest Armadas is epic

[@simplewrites]

@monarchistfront1452 That's not really what I was thinking. A Conquest Armada is a concept I've invented for my fictional universe. It's a massive organization of military power which operates independently. Its purpose is to explore space, seize worlds, and establish footholds for the Empire. In this instance, it was the 29th Conquest Armada that happened to have found Earth and decided to follow protocol and conquer it. But they lost. But you can make up your own headcanon that they did send 29 of them 😅

[@drovkastrak719]

yo when is your novel getting updated?

[@simplewrites]

@@drovkastrak719 what do you mean?

[@josemitakodachirecruit2004]

"Compared to what we're going to do to you, the Battle of Teutoburg Forest is going to look like a f---ing tea party!" vibes

[@grumpydixie1645]

Alien invaders when they discover the common cold Their immune system can't handle it.

[@TOpForhasreturned2025]

Underrated comment

[@dotdot5906]

Human defenders when they discover the alien cold There are nails growing in your throat

[@chocolatesquirrel2002]

@@dotdot5906 had worse

[@Roach18]

​@@dotdot5906Ending: Nobody wins

[@SalmonFeet]

Average flu symptom

[@KnownNiche1999]

When a 20$ drone with a brick of plastic explosives blows up your hyper-advanced mechsuit built to withstand lasers and plasma weapons

[@lobogalaxy2.090]

Humanos: qué pasa xeno tú trajecito barato no aguantó un explosivo casero

[@КириллТрифонов-е5ф]

Plot twist: Alien on the screen didn’t even do anything yet. He just landed in Chelyabinsk and seeing it was enough for him

[@CIvecktor]

Правда товарищ

[@Nonname_From_The_Internets]

Самый неожиданный, но базированный комментарий

[@АлексХомутов-о2ш]

А потом осколки его корабля раздали на олимпиаде

[@zogu7366]

Nfkrz reference

[@blackyonbi]

When the humans reverse engineer your computers and now you are watching someone play a " Videogame" called Doom on your screens.

[@SupersuMC]

[DOOM music intensifies]

[@assaulthetz]

Aliens never imagined that a bunch of 'civilains' are all able to fight like their Cast Warriors.

[@kenamintoastcrunch]

civilians turning into a disorganized guerilla fighter cells the moment the frontlines cross their property

[@gabrielc7861]

​@kenamintoastcrunch yup, that's the US for you.

[@Yumao420]

​@@gabrielc7861European here. We might not have as much fire power, but flamer fuel, endless concrete and forests will be a fine substitute!

[@victorvirgili4447]

@@Yumao420Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition + Never attack Russia in the winter = Ultimate star inheritance

[@Yumao420]

@victorvirgili4447 never attack humans during the winter. Such a pity we have atomic winters on command 🥶

[@TonyRedgrave]

"It is Man who is made in God's Image." "Not *you* creature!" - a pair of legends.

[@douglasallar9176]

God bless Ignis Corp.

[@Zxr-r6q]

Gotta love Roanoke.

[@1800notascam]

“Their technology was primitive, such a young species, we had thought them a weak target, but we had no idea. Our weapons were better, our tactics reliable, and our first battles were quick and easy, but they never stopped, they never surrendered. As time went on, they only fought harder, and smarter. We leveled their cities, we burned their forests, collapsed their networks of communication and supplies, but they never stopped. We gunned them down, blew them to dust by the thousands, but they kept coming. Weakened and starved, lacking proper weapons, their resolve never diminished, they fought on with nothing but rage and the instincts of the hunters they were. Months into the war, it became clear that despite all our planning, all our technology and resources, we could never hope to win. We were facing an enemy that would never break, never yield until we were gone. We were a stone trapped in the tide, slowly worn down by a force too massive to resist, and so we left them. We fled into the stars and far away from this world of beasts, praying they never find us, because we cannot survive being on the other side of a second war.”

[@SomeBoEdy10012]

"I suggest we could nuke the entire planet if colonization went south." -Alien with a common sense.

[@vincentisabluearchivesensei]

Hits hard

[@fiery_gamerz]

​@@SomeBoEdy10012 If the aliens had a goal of colonization, collecting species/humans/resources, that would be counterintuitive.

[@Ryan-qo9pr]

That was magnificent. Bravo!

[@helikopterbojowyka-5234]

Aliens thought we can’t even exist with ourselves But they didn’t realized the only reason we keeped fighting ourselves was because there wasn’t anything better than us And now, humans have someone to compete with. And we are very competitive species

[@FelipeJaquez]

We drove the mammoth extinct with nothing but sticks and stones. Let's see what we can do with our new toys.

[@TalynCo]

Yeah we didn't *start* at the top of the food chain. We climbed to the top on a ramp built from the bones of anything that threatened us, inspired us, or amused us or was useful to us. Even our own pets we kill ourselves because we think it's more humane. Which I still think is true, but it is funny how it often works out that way isn't it... I'll give the dodo and Australian megafauna as some examples of animals that are dead merely because they weren't sufficiently afraid of us. Our love, care or even curiosity isn't enough to spare you from the wonton and rampant death we spread.

[@snoiper-bp9vf]

Fuck casual racism. Let’s go competitive

[@calarakien]

​@@snoiper-bp9vf we've gotta top the racism competitive ladder

[@drmaulana2600]

The thought of modern day superpower like US and China abandon their senseless rivalry and ideological differences, and joined together is quite scary for anything but them lmao. Bet that their union would gone as soon as the thing that make them unite disappear

[@notmuselk6690]

Always remeber kids: Its not a war crime, the first time and the Geneva suggestion doesnt apply to non humans

[@Lt_RedNose]

Geneva checklist ☝🏻

[@alexodeh]

The Geneva Checklist is never a thing for aliens

[@jaspervb3601]

​@@Lt_RedNose oh, we'll make it a checklist alright

[@lancemagbanua5712]

​@@Lt_RedNose We'll probably increase the checklist like a Wikipedia article.

[@SupersuMC]

​@@lancemagbanua5712lmao

[@Chance_Rice]

In do or die times humans can be terrifying

[@Nu_bopustim_Vlad]

In do or die times left only ones who DO, others die.

[@e.16362]

Every cruel thought a human can think of is a reality it can inflict. Our capabilities are terrifying

[@thefriendlyknight]

When the artillery stops, the true hell begins.

[@silverseth7]

Then you realize, the artillery doesn't need to stop, it just needs to walk forward. Canadians used this during WW1. Their foottroops would follow behind a bigguns barrage

[@italianduded1161]

Alien hears a swarm of humans charging with bayonets while screaming Roma invicta.

[@zequadragaming8984]

who said we're stopping the artillery fire?

[@Naumovych_Dmytro]

​@@zequadragaming8984 Logistics officer that tells you, that all stockpiles are already depleted. Not a single nation today is ready to wage a full scale war because nobody has strong enough military industrial complex to outproduce spendings of artillery shells

[@zequadragaming8984]

@@Naumovych_Dmytro let me rephrase my question: did you really think the artillery bombardment will stop, just because we're ordered to affix bayonets and charge?

[@lukaswarnica9310]

Humans go back to tribal chants after aliens invade?

[@demon_xd_]

our enemy isn't human here, so we don't need to exert ourselves too much

[@MrOrangie9000]

We can actually be pretty brutal like that XD

[@steelandprunick9693]

You even been in a group of infantrymen? Aliens don't even need to be involved at all...

[@alexanderamayahernandez3912]

​@@MrOrangie9000we probably would be. Just remember the Geneva conventions only applies to HUMANS on THIS planet.

[@1EthanCC]

Me 2 hours after the power grid goes down:

[@AAQULIS]

Hearing Heilung in the midst of a combat can make everyone shit their pants. Even Aliens.

[@SalmonFeet]

Real shit lmfao

[@chaosgrunt9554]

"It's psychological warfare, you've never heard of it, alien filth?"

[@vladimirputin920]

Psychological warfare my beloved

[@JustRanger-d7k]

ESPECIALLY aliens

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

Which is ironic given that their philosophy is mostly peaceful from what I’ve understood. But hey, if pushed far enough…

[@TheLamp-396]

I forget how terrifying us humans are.

[@TheAKgunner]

It’s easy to forget.

[@idontlikerome2744]

We are the best bro

[@simplewrites]

We are monstrous

[@Ashraf-Hrira]

humans are the ultimate apex predators on earth for one single ability alone that God honored us with unlike other predators which is the ability to create and use tools also don't forget how crazy powerful the human male can reach in term of strength especially when adrenaline start pumping those tiny green goblins look alike hollywood aliens don't even stand a chance in real life

[@AndrewRyan-zv7zb]

The enemy will never forget us

[@chronic-b5p]

When the "savage ape" evolved on a planet with five times the gravity of your planet and buries a spade into your skull:

[@bartomolev6682]

When the higher gravity only enhances kinetic orbital bombardment

[@B1_Bis]

@@bartomolev6682 Get away from here, alien!

[@bartomolev6682]

@@B1_Bis how to lose a war *easy*: Step 1 Overestimate your capabilities and blindly hope that you will win. Step 2 Underestimate your enemy military force and ability to adapt to your tactics Step 3 Enjoy, you just lost

[@SigilOfBaphomet]

⁠@@bartomolev6682step 4 Fight in unknown territory that has belonged to another species for millennia

[@Lurkfish-nm4yc]

​@@SigilOfBaphometread his step 2..Yeah, humans are getting screwed in this fight. Europeans annihilated the native americans, even though they hadn't fought in that land ever before. Same is gonna happen here.

[@karlwintor2850]

Welcome to Earth, you picked the wrong species to mess with

[@epsilonarcaneresearch1945]

As a legend once said, *"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL!"*

[@joseocasio3740]

"We are not the monsters they claim us to be...but if you dare trespass upon our planet, we shall be more frightful than your worst nightmares."

[@bartomolev6682]

Cool *Proceeds with saturated orbital bombardment

[@mrmemes170]

@@bartomolev6682nukes

[@nextcaesargaming5469]

@@bartomolev6682 *Proceeds to either blast down the alien ship with thousands of nukes or blast down the ordinance launched by the ship

[@joshcollins5362]

"No one told us. We weren't prepared. Training only did so much. They fantasized about this! They dream about invasions for fun! What's with this damn planet?!" - an alien survivor, maybe

[@radilmahbub4690]

THEY TAKE JOY WHEN THE DEATHS SHOWN UPON THEIR PLAYTHINGS ARE MORE REALISTIC THEN THE LAST

[@110montauk8]

"Sir, after a hard fought battle, we finally managed to secure enemy territories!" -a xeno vice chief after losing 80% of their ground invasion force to take over a single neighborhood in Texas

[@jman5949]

Only for them to lose it a few hours later.

[@SupersuMC]

You really think they can take a neighborhood in Texas? My dogs will love some xeno flesh.

[@Hatermo]

Everybody gangsta until a big looking bird starts dropping bombs

[@bigboi4269]

we gon find out what alien tastes like

[@Vaushgg]

Underrated comment.

[@spaceenjoyer8304]

Alienussy 🤤🤤🤤🤤

[@SalmonFeet]

@spaceenjoyer8304 sending this to your employer

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

Probably either slimy or synthetic

[@bigboi4269]

@@gimmeyourrights8292 only one way to find out

[@endergamerm]

Last thing the alien sees before he gets swarmed by a group of east europeans so drunk they are unphased by their plasma weapons and armed with machetes (that UFO is about to be sold for more ciggarette money)

[@Wolf-oc6tx]

I for some reason imagine a sober man with a 12gauge shotgun helping take the UFO.

[@sanedude7225]

Ok, this one’s funny

[@18Hongo]

The one that landed in Malawi was disassembled for scrap before the aliens even had time to get off.

[@Wolf-oc6tx]

@@18Hongo 🤣

[@TheguyfromJurassicpark3]

"C.. Commander!! They've uploaded a virus onto all our ships!!" "They......WHAT!?!?!?!"

[@clanjebb2017]

"The virus appears to go by the name of 'Bonzi Buddy,'"

[@siz1700]

"What is that "Windows"?!"

[@sirpepeofhousekek6741]

10/10 reference

[@-Miguelzim-]

​@@clanjebb2017 He’s a primate like us, and also he’s the buddy. We’ll call him part of our special forces.

[@alphaandomega4422]

POV Romans fighting the Celts for the first time

[@AndrewRyan-zv7zb]

I wonder where the celts went ⚡ 🦅 ⚡

[@buzter8135]

​@@AndrewRyan-zv7zb You do realize the implications of that right?

[@AndrewRyan-zv7zb]

@@buzter8135 that the celts were genocided by more capable peoples? Yeah, thats the joke

[@АртемМакєєв]

​@@AndrewRyan-zv7zb it weren't the Romans who made celts leave, it were the Anglo-Saxons

[@tothlaszlo6882]

When the aliens realize what "going apeshit" really means.

[@GhostOfReachB312]

years of prep wiped out by some fellow with a 70 year old rpg

[@austinbel4557]

They gonna learn the hard way that it was man made in God’s image

[@MuwaUWU]

God isn't real and if he is he hates us

[@gilgameshthetreasurehunter2750]

Aliens: *Do stuff.* God: Hey, watch this. *creates humans in His image.*

[@ilyadiomelli2230]

aliens will discover the sensation of being treated by a t-90

[@twotailedavenger]

The way things are going in Ukraine I don't think there's gonna be any T-90s left in a few months.

[@W4rm0ng3r]

​@@twotailedavenger "the way things are going in Ukraine" if you think anything is happening there besides "ukrops slowly rotting and festering because they can not, have not, and will not beat Russia" you're drunk on the propaganda from both the West and from Russia's disinformation campaigns. I mean come on dude, Russia has a long history of 2 things: One, winning attrition warfare by doing the bare minimum while their enemy exhausts themselves. And two, being lying and manipulative snakes about their movements and goals. Do you REALLY believe the "leaked videos" from Russia's troops crying about this and that? If so, I'd recommend going back to school and paying attention in history class this time. I'm anticipating a massive Russian POW rebellion from inside Ukraine, seeing as Ukraine has thousands of Russian soldiers held prisoner that "suddenly surrendered after a large group of them split apart into 3 groups and all 3 of those groups surrendered". You really think that wasn't planned? The fact that NO ONE sees a big picture move like that is depressing. If Russia decides to wrap this up and then come after America for instigating this crap in the first place by giving the ukrops IRBMs back in 2022, we'll lose before we even realize the fight began and all the while we'll think it's a civil war.

[@alexanderamayahernandez3912]

No the aliens aren't worried about the t-90 they saw some of the turrets floating around in the solar system 😂😂😂

[@MachineMindDesigns]

Replace the T-90 with AI dragon drones, jet propelled spicy bread and artillery....lots and lots of artillery.

[@bigboi4269]

2008 Honda Civic 4,000+ confirmed kills.

[@drcoolcabbage]

"Let me tell you something about humans, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people... as long as their bellies are full and their Holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. Don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes." -Quark, Deep Space Nine

[@GeoStreber]

For those interested: The episode is called "The Siege of AR-558"

[@GeoStreber]

"They irradiated their own planet?!"

[@yawarapuyurak3271]

​@@GeoStrebertwice, may i add

[@toasterboipencil]

@@yawarapuyurak3271 Twice is an UNDERSTATEMENT. Two thousand five hundred and fifty eight nuclear explosions in just our own history, nevermind the Eugenics Wars in the fiction. It is nothing short of a miracle that Earth is still habitable.

[@SqualingtonConstantine]

*Humanity has been fighting each other for tens of thousands of years* *Aliens arrive and starts shooting shit with pew pew laser guns* *Humanity stops fighting each other and looks over at the aliens* "You don't seem to understand. Earth isn't yours to conquer."

[@internetzenmaster8952]

[Every single religious battlecry can be heard in the distance] _Aliens, realizing all those 'human religious sites' they deliberately destroyed to break humanity's morale ended up making the murder-apes a hundred times more vicious instead_

[@drmaulana2600]

You know you're fucked up when "Deus vult" and "Allahuakbar" are chanted by same faction.

[@emperorrazor7733]

POV: your friend Schlorp told you its an 5 minute adventure but not told you about Warhammer 40k fanatics, Furries in kevlar and the Raiders of area 51

[@Auzzymandias]

Furries in Kevlar is so real tho lmao

[@randomka-52alligatorthatis34]

​@@Auzzymandias Their fur suits are actually power armor lol.

[@dotdot5906]

​@@randomka-52alligatorthatis34why do you think that mess costs that much? 2 steps ahead

[@Nanuks_Fun_Zone]

@@randomka-52alligatorthatis34 can confirm. that this 100% true

[@Silverauren]

​​@@Auzzymandias Remember, the likes of batman and owlman are tecnocaly in furry armor as well

[@deathkorpsgrenadier2419]

"You're surrounded, primate, you have nowhere to run to" "And doesn't that frighten you so?"

[@Incognito_Blazer]

This just makes me think of humanity going full 'use everything', as in things like spears, swords, and bows making a full come back purely out of brutality. Like an alien patrol just starts getting lit up by gunfire from the side and while they start shooting back suddenly there's a ton of humans literally on their battle line impaling them with spears and severing limbs with swords because they didn't notice that all the bushes around them all had people waiting for the rifle teams to distract them from the front. And then when in the midst of the chaos a human and alien have a standoff with both using melee weapons, the human would just pull out a handgun and shoot the alien There is no honor for the xenos

[@FizzyArtCola]

We've learned the ways of the Mongolians

[@rayanderson5797]

The Mongolians, the Romans, the Celts, the Iroquois, the Aztec, the Han, the Samurai, the Knight, the Viking, the Maori.... We humans have no end of utterly terrifying bloodshedders.

[@ConsueloWubba]

All of Vietnam: HERE WE GO AGAIN

[@glennrossdiolata5390]

When the evolved ape has the button to smash your troops with the power of the sun

[@ThePengu_96]

We had sent a scout detachment to the northeastern mountain range of the major land mass known as “ah murik’a” in the hopes of settling a basecamp in that region. This was the first and last transmission we ever received from that detachment

[@SonOfTheDawn515]

Oh fuck, they went into Appalachia?! Bahahahaha. Stupid bastards.

[@drcrow9664]

*Aliens invades* Every country that has Nuclear weaponry and Mass Military might: The Geneva Convention will not be applied to your kind

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

Remember: the invaders in War of the Worlds died of the common cold, not conventional weapons.

[@18Hongo]

​@@eeyorehaferbock7870 So someone send in Sneezy Jeff before NATO mobilises!

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

@@18Hongo why would that not count as NATO mobilization?

[@alternativeares]

It's just that their instructors during training forgot to say that because of a common threat, humanity can unite 🙂

[@empereurnico6048]

"Earth is a divised planet, therefore it is perfect for your first deployment. " little xeno in the back "Captain don't you think that maybe they are ready to settle their differences if we attack? " The commander with rage in hׁׅis eyes at such an absurd concept " M'TEKANEK YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING JOKING, THEY ARE APES THAT JUST RECENTLY REALISED HOW TO USE ELECTRICITY. "

[@alternativeares]

@@empereurnico6048 - But sir, what if the intelligence is outdated? - Do you doubt our intelligence? - No, sir! - Well done, you'll be in the front row.

[@raghavtiwari1000]

​@@alternativeares end of f l a s h b a c k

[@mythicMusical]

"Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to earth, and we regret that the corps just blew up our raggedy ass fleet!"

[@TopDesert_ace]

Oorah!

[@andrewdufresne3050]

Oorah!

[@amog8202]

Oorah!

[@warlord8525]

Oorah!!

[@TheLetterB123]

Oorah!

[@ratte6090]

the Protogens pulling up only to see a bunch of pissed off, rusty ass tanks ready to unleash hell upon them:

[@pyrobomb3161]

Going by protogen lore this would imply that their creators are still around and order this. That means there may be of planet facilities actively making proto's. Once man captures such a facility mankind will be able to make their own better proots and show those xenos that HUMAN ENGINEERING IS THE BEST IN THE UNIVERSE!

[@ratte6090]

@ doitsu no kagaku wa sekai ichi ass comment XD

[@pyrobomb3161]

@@ratte6090 huh?

[@TigerWithAnChristmasHat1224]

Pissed off rusty tanks? Dreadnoughts may be included in these.

[@pyrobomb3161]

@@ratte6090 bruh it took me a whole ass day to realize that's just Strohiem's iconic line in Japanese

[@Dude-vq3oe]

Amazing. They came here expecting an easy fight, not… *this.* They thought that most people would surrender after seeing the aliens’ superior technology and weaponry. And while a few *did surrender* (cowards, the whole lot of them), most humans didn’t. They simply hunkered down, and started preparing. And when the aliens came to attack a group of humans, the humans attacked with a *ferocity* the likes of which the aliens had never seen before. It was that moment, they realized it wouldn’t be an easy fight. As they just picked a fight with a species willing to fight down to the last man in order to win.

[@thelocalhero6036]

I love this scenario that aliens invading just activate the 0.00001% of Genghis Khan's genes in all of humanity like were sleeper agents or something.

[@worldwartanker4542]

👀 Activation key phrase is just alien speak

[@thelocalhero6036]

@worldwartanker4542 "Take us to your leaders!" *One million New Yorkers immediately begin throat singing*

[@worldwartanker4542]

@@thelocalhero6036 That killed me 🤣🤣🤣

[@alvianekka80]

*start Mongolian throat singing in unison*

[@Whispurer]

*"The fuck you mean they blew themselves up!? How many of our own dead!? WHY WONT THESE APES JUST GIVE UP!?"* - General Zeepzorp of the 41st Conquest Fleet, circa April 2026

[@alexodeh]

Average battle in Iraq be like

[@ticklemedaddy]

"April 2026" don't jinx us

[@SYNTHETIC.BLACK.HOLE6]

Welcome to the middle east,the only place in the cosmos where murder is more morally accepted than peace talks,also stubbornness.​@@alexodeh

[@kavalier8778]

Just as the Emperor intended.

[@Gladius12746]

Alien: *accidentally triggers an alarm car while inspecting the vehicle* Car alarm: *goes off* The alien platoon: ._. ⚠️YOU HAVE ALERTED THE HORDE⚠️

[@jhe-vaughnseverin6765]

Oh here we cometh lmao

[@Easttowest45]

"Let's find out if these things are edible" -some human, probably.

[@worldwartanker4542]

Me. Im that human.

[@SonOfTheDawn515]

Or f uckable

[@АртемМакєєв]

​@@SonOfTheDawn515 a fate worse than death indeed

[@German-GT]

Everything is edible if cooked good enough😋 Or if you're hungry enough😶

[@NPCoppa]

@@SonOfTheDawn515 They be F-able today if I can get my hands on them.

[@RoyalStarlord]

The aliens have become really silent after the Shadow Wizard Money Gang learned how to remove math from the universe.

[@yawarapuyurak3271]

physics is next

[@vodamiinurl1337]

"Do you know what a 'gun' is? Horrible, chemically actuated mass accelerators. The humans loved them, completely bypassed our infantry shields. They had all sorts of psychotic flavors of the damned things; hand cannons, bomb launchers, auto-repeaters, scattershots, stupid huge slug throwers that they built specific vehicles just to carry. I fought on the 'hammer' offensive. Do you want to know what happened? First we had to fight hoards of screaming, psychopathic, beasts armed to fang with psychotically advanced slug throwers just to secure the landing zones. Then we had to pacify the civilian population... That was the worst part... There were these gangs of particularly demented humans on Objective City 'shi-ka-go'. They would just appear out of nowhere and just... Open up on a patrol squad. Five or six of them with these horrible things we called 'stubbers' because of the sounds they made. The vehicle didn't even stop half the time. The natives called it a 'drive-by'. By the time reinforcements got there, the squad was either dead or horrifically maimed, with the last soldier left firing blankly down an empty street. Things weren't any better on Objective Cities 'Mi-Amee' and 'Nu Or'leenz' where the locals disappeared into the wisdom forsaken swamps on rafts propelled by stupidly powerful fans. The fact that we were able to get off that hellhole without the loss of a hyperdrive or its plans was a victory in its own right. We left a lot of other tech behind to accomplish that, and I'm pretty sure they've been tinkering with it while we were gone. To be blunt, I think it's only a matter of time before they figure out Hyperdrive technology on their own or some messed up equivalent. I can only hope the higher-ups have a plan for when they do..." -Testimony of a Xidrethian soldier returning from the failed Hammer Offensive.

[@Rushovt]

"We thought it would be easy, from what we had seen. Poor and unmotivated people. But the heat, the cold, and the terrain, We thought there would be nothing because of the lack of infrastructure, so it would be something easy, right? How wrong. We were landing and we heard impacts on our ship, I and my partner already knew that everything would go wrong. As soon as we landed we could expand, yes, but the jungle, the forest, the cliffs and the mountains made it difficult. The constant sabotage, the apes came and shot, so as soon as they arrived they left, the few we captured were psychotic or something similar, something they had because pain did nothing to them, but we heard something in common "viva El ejercito" or "Tomen Balas de los moustros." were strange, but we tried to move forward. The time and everything went wrong for us. I don't know if I will return... but I hear the sound of the apes' weapons now. coming to the "sierra madre" I don't know how my comrades will fare in Operation Hammer." - Letter from a Xidrethian soldier in the midst of the failed Operation Broken Eagle further south

[@schmeatgaming853]

"The situation was worse In the Region of "Iistern Yu-rop". Especially In the Nation of "Yu-krayn". When we arrived there, The place was absolutely desolate. It was clear that a Large scale war was fought here. We thought we'd have It easy. Everything seemed abandoned. No signs of life anywhere, Only the occasional creatures of Earth which were no threat. How wrong we were. When we were attacked, We thought we were fighting rebellious citizens. But we were wrong. The humans we fought were cunning, Ferocious, Absolutely violent. In the "forests" and "provinces" We are often attacked by humans wearing primitive equipment that perfectly blended In with the environment. While In the more urban Areas, We were almost always attacked by human soldiers that wore equipment that was of a darker green color. What was strange was from the things we have found here, Writings on walls and the destroyed machines, We have discovered that "Yu-krayn" and another Nation called "Rus-shya" were at War with each other long before we arrived. And that now, Their soldiers are not fighting against, But alongside each other. It was true. The rumors were all true. Humans fought each other because they couldn't fight anyone else but themselves. And now that they have a common enemy, We've only made things better for them, And worse for us."

[@drmaulana2600]

"thats not better from what our forces encountered in an area what they called Ga' Za, when we arrived there we see natives fight eachother in a desolate landscape, we thought they're fighting for scraps and it would be easy for us to conquer them, and we finally know how wrong we are when we see those conflicting natives, stop the fight and joined together to defend that desolate landscape from us, suddenly none of our ammunition couldn't hit the area and plethora of munitions, both sophisticated and improvised, are hitting our ship left and right, we're lucky we could escape with this condition "

[@weirdweaver149]

Human laughter would be an absolutely terrifying sound to anything non-human.

[@davidlahaye1202]

When the Live Leak logo appears in the corner of your HUD...

[@haroldbalzac6336]

Aliens when they dont know about our Self-Destructive Tendencies:

[@silverbloodborne9495]

The aliens found out that our leaders were only. There to keep use sane

[@tylerlowder2338]

You came here with your spaceships & your laser, but it turns out your skull splits just like anyone else's. That's all we needed to know.

[@SingularPing]

The Tau meeting the Imperium be like:

[@Ceelvesta]

meeting the Space Wolves

[@bartomolev6682]

Most citizens are actually glad when they meet them because they just trade their freedom (that they didn't have anyway) for food, shelter and an overall better and longer life. Everyone wants to be a space marine but nobody wants to even consider the possibility of 20 hour back breaking shifts in a factory world.

[@SingularPing]

​@bartomolev6682 until the Tau sterilize every Human because they hate us

[@Field_MarshalWithanENERGYS-p3m]

@@bartomolev6682 not most, only the weak. Only the cowardly and traitorous, such heretics will be dealt with as if they were tau themselves,

[@bartomolev6682]

@@Field_MarshalWithanENERGYS-p3m you can lie to yourself all you want but humans are selfish creatures that value comfort above all, so all of the factory world workers will gladly chose to "betray" a false falen god that they never saw to live in what essentialy is a paradise. the administrators and the army might stay loyal but the avarage citi- [SLAVE] has only their chains because they alredy lost their life and humanity at birth

[@jesuschrist138]

PoV: You and the boys got model-swapped with Ewoks.

[@KuruSeed]

nice laser cannon, now let me introduce you to this 10 gauge

[@56th.]

Nice Platoon you got there Now Here meet my little friend. His Name?! A-10 Warhog

[@Ks3N]

They're gonna feel what an angry mob of malnourished humans with makeshift weapons can do in close combat.

[@rps215]

Imagine landing in seemingly devastated city, then realize that unlike in training, humans' guns and crossbows ignore your energy shields and go through them like it was nothing. And the last thing you see is a berserk pregnant human woman about to hack your head into half with a fire axe.

[@PandorasFolly]

"What rhe fuck is a whale gun?" Last utterance of Lt Flik'ret

[@ZpEB2741]

"They've waged war on each other throughout their recorded history, they couldn't settle their differences even to resist us" *A few [relatively short increment of time]s later...* _"We were fools! They are born to live through struggle, and their infighting came only after subjugating their world! Comfort drove them mad, and our threats gave them clarity!!!"_

[@anquiladremon]

i love this one

[@brucereutens8730]

When the mountains scream "AYO GORKHALI!!!!!!!!!!"

[@racingraptor4758]

Plot twist: the destroyed planet in the background is aliens homeland but they failed to invade earth and humans invaded them as revange

[@HH-xe3sk]

BASED

[@SonOfTheDawn515]

We sure as fuck would, too.

[@aaronstabury]

This resonates with some type of Warhammer 40k vibe - "The xenos must be purged, for the stars are humanity’s birthright"

[@alannatherson7721]

Three hundred thousand years my species has existed, it not a very long time compared to the cosmic scale of the universe and perhaps it's nothing compared to how long your kind has been around, but throughout those three hundred thousand years my species has been fighting each other constantly and with each war, with each battle, we become better and better at slaughtering each other. What would you call that? Insanity? Perhaps to a degree. But I have another word for it: Practice. Practice for the day when every tribe, every kingdom, every nation could be united as one and make whatever fools who decide to come to our home looking for a fight wish their ancestors never crawled out of the primordial soup.

[@ZedTheThrid]

Humans would defo play scary sounds before an attack tho. And then, randomly play sounds so the aliens are just terrified. Even when out of ammo we'd charged with pointy sticks on out guns, we're more primitive and as such are likely more experienced with bayonet charges

[@SheepsAhoy.]

operation wandering soul:

[@spacedragon1453]

The first word in Human rights is “human”

[@BayouBoy2443]

“YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!!!”

[@B1_Bis]

Aliens when the seemingly abandoned trenches start yelling in French and German:

[@stevebomer7670]

Aliens watching the 6ft tall primitive primate charging at them with screams loud enough to deafen them after shooting their laser shooter at their eye (we call that a laser pointer on earth)

[@RLDragonStrider]

Needs some HL2 pulse rifle sounds and rocket launchers, not to mention the odd AK.

[@aspopulvera9130]

when you're an alien invader on earth but you hear thousands of muffled laughter

[@AnthonyFreeman-z3y]

your profile picture fits perfectly with your comment.

[@spacedragon1453]

In a time of tribes and cavemen, the Indus valley had farms, sprawling cities, bureaucracy, urban planning, plumbing, walls, and art. An equal to the cities of Babylon. There’s a reason their history was erased. They’re art never depicted war. You will be the same.

[@selmevias1383]

In a time of ancient pajeet make believe...

[@mantisking6167]

As the air filled with howls and bellows, and the ground trembled with the beat of primitive instruments, it dawned on the invaders that the humans were no longer fighting... ... They were hunting.

[@bio_5467]

“While you xenos were mastering the art of space travel we were mastering the art of war”

[@maddoxlacy9072]

"Nice ships you have there" "It would be a shame if" "Someone reverse engineered them"

[@56th.]

"WHAT NOOO!!!" "YOU CANT JUST REVERSE ENGINEER OUR TECHNOLOGY IN 2 MONTHS!!" The human desire for knowledge and curiousity:

[@vincentisabluearchivesensei]

​@@56th.Fr

[@drmaulana2600]

Bet that Chinese already tooling their shipyard to produce alien ship as that ship make it's landfall lmao. Heck, maybe alien scout that hiding among us (sorry) are puzzled after seeing the design from one of their vessels that hiding in dark side of the moon, appears on Zhuhai air show as one of prospective chinese new ship, and most of us making mockery out of it lmao. Or maybe even petrified after seeing Lockheed Martin revealed new drones for US military that eerily similar with their own stuffs.