The dark side of solo motherhood (and how I've prepared for the worst)

Рет қаралды 10,528

Күн бұрын

I felt it was really important to film this video to talk about all the different things I have done to try and prepare for any scenario. Obviously we all hope everything will be fine, but just in case, it's always best to plan ahead.
The Will Guys: thewillguys.co.uk
Contact Michelle directly via WhatsApp: api.whatsapp.com/send/?phone=...
My "buy me a coffee" link: ko-fi.com/preciousstarsvlogs
Support me via Patreon: / preciousstarspads
My Facebook page: / preciousstarsyt
My instagram: @preciousstarsvlogs

Пікірлер: 63

@hospicernmichelle7361 8 ай бұрын

I cannot love this enough!!! As a hospice nurse, I see the sad side of life's unpredictability daily. I preach this to all my friends and agree that we must talk about this more. Like always, you are a hero yet again in taboo/uncomfortable topics. YOU, dear Bryony, are a trailblazer. Bravo!!!!!

@meluvfriends 8 ай бұрын

This is really incredible. It is something none of us want to think about, but you are so wise about it! You really have your stuff together so young and its beautiful. I wish my parents had done these things for me. Oren is so lucky to have a mum who would look at all of these things so early, and set him up with a wonderful future. You are just fabulous.

@middleoftheroadmama 8 ай бұрын

And a good reminder is to update things when stuff changes in your life. Everytime you have another child for sure! When my Dad got sick, my parents realized their executor had passed away so making sure you update on a regular basis!

@RosssR 8 ай бұрын

This is such a good video, thank you so much for sharing, I would love a series on money, how you make money, maybe like a monthly budget, what having Orin costs you monthly, things you plan for you and how you budget for them... You seem to be on top of it and I (and many others I think) could benefit do much from that knowledge. Sending love to both of you ♥️

@Kay-tf9cj 8 ай бұрын

Fantastic video, and oh so important!

@rockinstrawberries 8 ай бұрын

This was so informative, thank you!

@AngelsLieToKeepCtrl 8 ай бұрын

Thank you so much. This has given me a lot to think about.

@rebekah3483 8 ай бұрын

Way to go bree! You're doing a great job!😊

@chelseagarchar4338 8 ай бұрын

You we’re very thorough and easily understood. 👍

@Perin090 8 ай бұрын

This was an incredibly helpful video! Thanks so much for putting this together.

@amyforster1208 8 ай бұрын

This is so informative! I need to rewatch this again when I have time to organise these things! I have a will but have not looked into any of the other stuff

@IAFoodReviews 8 ай бұрын

Love your videos! Very informative. I love how real & honest you are 😊

@Saroora1xo 8 ай бұрын

Super educational video thank you! Need more of this on youtube!!

@daniellehowson1883 8 ай бұрын

So informative, and perfect timing as I have my Will appointment next week as part of Will aid month

@kelly1827 6 ай бұрын

For your viewers in the US, LPAs are known as Durable POAs. DPOAs end when the person dies, and often are offered as medical only in will preparation packets, so make sure you check.

@ThatRomyKate 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing all this! It’s so important to do research and think about dying or life changing illnesses even though as a nation we’re terrible at it. My dad had Parkinson’s and dementia and my mum set up an LPA which was helpful to her. Plus she’s talked me through her will and how that’ll work if she has to go into a care home or when she dies. So many people are blindsided by this stuff when it happens so it’s great that you’re encouraging more people to talk about it 😊

@MinimumViablePicnic 8 ай бұрын

This is brilliant thanks, I'm a single mum of two and this stuff keeps me awake at night. Now I've got a todo list!

@sarahbranston7774 8 ай бұрын

This was so useful! Thank you! I would love it if you did a video on general finances, budgeting etc.

@lucyadams8354 8 ай бұрын

Wow this was so interesting! I learnt so much! I feel like I’m so financially illiterate 😬 i need to keep learning! Would love more videos about financial stuff

@tanaarcher3258 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for video I have just learnt so much

@katewaller7444 7 ай бұрын

OMG most helpful and to-the-point video I’ve seen on KZbin in months!!! Coffee money sent! Thanks! ❤

@lauraelisee 8 ай бұрын

You are such a wonderful mother, Bryony 😊❤

@lesleyjackson7691 8 ай бұрын

Wow. What an amazing video. I’ve just sorted my LPA’s at the age of 49. When I’ve told friends they think I’m mad as it’s “too early”. I should direct them to this video!! Thank you for this helpful advice x

@charlottesinclair9354 8 ай бұрын

These are all things that if they aren't in place when you need them, it just adds so much stress to an already stressful situations, so I'm glad to hear you have thought everything through in case the worst happens. I think so many people don't realise that if something happens to them and they don't have LPA or a will, and if the family don't agree, it has to go to court to be decided on, which just delays everything and makes things so much harder, so it is so so important to have these set up!

@trinefj11 8 ай бұрын

I haven’t been getting notifications from you for ages! Firstly I just wanna congratulation on the little bean! I remember following you 10 years ago when you posted your cup videos! You are the one that got me into cups and cloth pads so thank you 🫶🏻 I’m so glad to see you are doing well!

@Icecoldgaming-vlogs 8 ай бұрын

Fake baby no dad and sperm doner it’s wrong

@mstoraelle8582 8 ай бұрын

my exact thoughts, it's been yrs, I received no notification until now, & she has a baby, what omg congratulations 🎊

@saratakkoush6109 8 ай бұрын

What an incredibly informative video.. i wonder if there's similar things in Canada

@gloriam8762 8 ай бұрын

In Canada you should have a Will (which you will appoint a guardian if you have kids.) You can add enduring power of attorney and personal directives. For my kids I have RESP’s and RDSP’s set up for education and disability (where applicable) and bank accounts. We have term life insurance to cover the balance of our mortgage and to provide funds for kiddos if we pass. We also have whole life insurance a smaller amount that will be useful for if we pass when our kids are grown to help with expenses.

@EleanorNicBhatair 8 ай бұрын

Such a brilliant video!

@amyhull754 8 ай бұрын

I'm sure that someone has said this somewhere in the comments, but in the U.S., the "Lasting Power of Attorney" for finances is typically called "Durable Power of Attorney," and the medical one is called "Medical Power of Attorney" to select a "Medical Proxy." Additionally, many MANY states have free forms that you can fill out yourself, and most states will consider these documents entirely legal if they're just notarized (although not all require the forms to be notarized). Often wherever you do your banking will notarize documents for no fee at all.

@eriiux 8 ай бұрын

Oh wow I didn't even know all of this existed, now I have to research more, in my country there's not a big culture about this topics, some won't use car insurance 😮

@LilySaintSin 8 ай бұрын

I think a stocks and ahares JSA is better for compound growth.

@victoriamahon3765 8 ай бұрын

Correction the best time to get life insurance is now even if you’re not thinking about having kids. Because when you hit your 30s 40s or later you may develop health conditions and many common health conditions will bar you from ever being able to get life insurance especially in the US. If you are young and healthy go get life insurance now even if you never plan to get married or have kids if you don’t get it now you won’t be able to get it should you need it later. Also if you can get a policy that will build cash value that is really good because then you can borrow against it if you ever need to so it’s almost like a savings account in a way. If you can afford to spare even a few bucks a month go get your life insurance while you’re healthy and young!!!!!

@oceana3070 8 ай бұрын

Oh! I thought this might be about what legal contingencies are in place if the sperm donor wanted to get in contact in future, or tried to claim some sort of right to your child and or his (your) assets etc. Or what happens if another child from the same donor came into the picture (maybe through a 23&me type test) and again tried to claim some sort of rights via familial relationship? I’d love to know if you’ve given these things some thought or how you’d approach those situations hypothetically, legally, or just emotionally/mentally how you’d feel meeting a potential half sibling of your bub?

@livelongandprospermary8796 8 ай бұрын

Not a solo parent but polyam…wondering if the lasting POA would be beneficial for my group down the track

@karinseaman4060 8 ай бұрын

I did get life insurance just before I got pregnant and I have a will set up... I however only recently started paying my own pension (I'm already 33), so at the moment I don't have any savings for him.. Maybe I can start in the future.

@vickyw9898 8 ай бұрын

I believe you just state what percentage of any funds you had would go where - it’s not a specific sum (as this may obviously change). I think your pension could be included too. But you could definitely get professional advice on that.

@saratakkoush6109 8 ай бұрын

Why does the UK seem like a wonderful place to live?

@SomeoneBeginingWithI 8 ай бұрын

Bryony is middle class. (absolutely nothing against that, I am middle class too). People who are born into less financial privialge are having a very difficult time at the moment. We used to have very good public services. A lot of funding for public services was cut in the last 10 years, so things are much less good than they used to be. A lot of europe has better public services than the UK, but we do have more than some countries.

@keramiroberts6695 8 ай бұрын

@@SomeoneBeginingWithIBecause we have a welfare system ... Problems with it... But there are real life savers.

@keramiroberts6695 8 ай бұрын

Fantastic video. Can i ask.... What happens if ypurw not employed ...? Can i get a pention?

@keramiroberts6695 8 ай бұрын

My typos are shocking... I dont deserve a pension 😂

@ChronicallyCassidy 7 ай бұрын

Disability insurance !!!!

@tanaarcher3258 8 ай бұрын

Hi can you give me an estimate of how much making a will is please?

@keramiroberts6695 8 ай бұрын

About... £100

@keramiroberts6695 8 ай бұрын

Many charities do it for free

@Angie-Who 8 ай бұрын

Do the government also give your son a child trust fund? I knew I got one but I'm unsure if they still do this.

@Brainjoy01 8 ай бұрын

I'm really curious how they get male attention and role modeling. Single motherhood is a precursor for many things such as depression, not graduating high school and going to prison. In America, we accept children need fathers almost more than a mother. It's the reason USA struggles so much. Many dad's are in prison or addicted to drugs, or the mothers think men aren't very necessary. It's sad here

@matemahe 8 ай бұрын

Men aren't need. Its better to have none then bad ones

@Brainjoy01 8 ай бұрын

@@matemahe I’m sorry you feel that way. There are many studies that say otherwise. It’s a huge predictor of success to come from a 2 parent household. I’m not worried about this KZbinr but more so single moms with no money or family to give a well rounded upbringing.

@kpwxx 8 ай бұрын

@Brainjoy01 I can't speak on studies as I haven't looked into research here, but I speculate that you've somewhat answered your own question there. If you're saying that single parent families with a low income have higher chances of these outcomes... All of those things are tied to income in the US. People on a low income are not cared for by the US society as a whole, and are much more likely to have a range of issues stemming from that. There could be other factors too of course, such as less time to spend with a child as you are working, less routine due to work commitments though ultimately those come back to money. There could also be factors to do with family conflict and breakdown involved. All of those are factors that are potentially more likely for a single or solo parent (especially a woman or member of another marginalised group), not factors that are intrinsically part of being a single or solo parent and certainly not because of the gender identity of the parent. Tldr; it's a big and imo very incorrect jump from "studies show these bad outcomes for this group" to "dads are more important and having one is necessary". And I believe informed solo parents who plan financially and practically can provide wonderful upbringings for their kids (and note parents who have struggles can still do a great job too!) What would be interesting is to compare with data for couples with no men. Again, I haven't looked into it but I suspect the outcomes would be very different from the averages for single parent families.