Pretty privilege is real and Love is Blind proves it

[@HangingWithTheHamiltons]

We appreciate you!

[@bfbmain]

Omg love you guys! ❤️💕

[@caseyw.6550]

Omg! ❤❤❤

[@ronnie7848]

Ommmggggg😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@andreagardndr]

Beautifully ( punt intended ) dome! Straight up 😊❤

[@Rosh_ie]

I agree! Love is blind was made for Lauren and Cameron to meet and that explains why every other season is downhill.

[@warholcow]

Such sweetness when Raven put a swift and unflinching end to Bartise’s attempt to flirt and self inflate his own ego. That’s when I started to think about Raven differently (versus thinking she was rude for doing jumping jacks while he was talking. We now know why she may have gone to those lengths).

[@Drizella9]

I totally objectively could understand how that came off as rude but on a human level as somebody who has divorced parents but has also been through a lot worse I think if you’ve been through a lot worse hearing somebody describe their worst moment that they’ve literally never talk to anybody about at their big age being their parents divorce is honestly a little bit laughable even if that sounds shitty. Because he’s being vulnerable and it is a big deal to him but at the end of the day hard not to laugh a bit at how big he thought that was

[@Erik_Kartman_]

​@@Drizella9 I disagree and think it has more to do with empathy than if you have been through something worse. Everyone feels different emotions on different levels at different situations. So if someone tells me how they feel on something, even if I percieve it as emotionally "not that big of a thing" I know how the emotion feels and react to that, rather than how I would feel in this situation, because if they open up it is not about me nor my emotions (except if I'm part of why they feel how they feel). If a kid starts crying because they break a bone, you also wouldn't laugh at them and tell them how you lost an leg.

[@danitori3452]

Yeah it was funny because Bartise tried to do this thing where he was like yeah we didn’t end up with each other but we still got a little going on and she was like “respectfully, it’s not a thing” 💀

[@Gorg3ousGem1n1]

@@danitori3452 I got second hand embarrassment from that scene 😭😭 she was not feeling him AT ALL

[@Dayo_kid]

@@Erik_Kartman_ true but at the same time remember bartise was also shaming his mom for having someone being attracted to herand i guess embarrassing the dad, thatswhen she started exercising if i remember correctly and it came off mysogenistic to me in that moment so i get the eye roll

[@brittneypine6628]

As a dark skin black girl I think Deepti never dated brown men because they never gave her a chance. This was the case for me with black men and still is. Today I’ll give a black man a chance but I’m weary. I have to imagine the same goes for Deepti, we have to go where we are loved and appreciated.

[@AfroLatinasUnited]

May I ask why you are weary of giving a black man a chance when he is approaching you?

[@brittneypine6628]

@@AfroLatinasUnited it depends on the approach but most of the time no. If I’m in a club with a bunch of black men, if I find any of them attractive I ask myself does he even like black women? After that I don’t even look their way. They have to go out of their way to approach me because I don’t know the kind of black man they are.

[@AfroLatinasUnited]

@@brittneypine6628 sis I’m on the other side of the world and this is exactly how I think. I am desensitized to black men. I don’t look at them as an option because I figure if they like black women it will not be one of my shade. Funny but also very sad.

[@PrincessHD]

@@brittneypine6628 😊

[@randomchicaontheinternet9971]

Hey! I've seen you on Chrissie's channel. Hope you're well :)

[@Goat.Cheese]

The craziest thing to me is that Nancy is objectively beautiful. Sure she wasn't a pilates instructor like Raven, but Nancy was pretty glamorous and sexy, plus a beautiful face. Bartise is crazy!

[@ClaraBell3452]

And she's one of those people who gets prettier the longer you know her

[@dawnhunter2558]

yeah Nancy is really pretty, I think this says a lot about perception and taste and chemistry - two people can find the same person average or hot

[@TheJoker718]

THIS

[@xSunnyDaysx]

She’s a bit average if i may believe Bartise’s type. Have you seen the guy on The Perfect Match. He’s into skinny, big boobed barbie like chicks. To me she’s pretty. But people would categorize her as a 6. And Raven would be a 7,5.

[@genesisavila6166]

Facts.

[@namitabhopal8763]

I love your theory on how love is blind might have been created solely to bring Lauren and Cameron together 🥹 Because the rest of the show has certainly become a total dumpster fire lol

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

Amber and Barnett are STILL married and as far as we know, still happy if not fan favorites. The fact that this gets forgotten in the face of, honestly, the more 'socially appealing' couple I mean I wasn't a big Amber and Barnett fan either, but it, so far, has stood the test of the same amount of time. Matt/Colleen and Alexa/Brennan (while still new) don't seem on the verge of divorce and while we saw it much later, that season was filmed in 2021 immediately following Love is Blind season 2. So even the season 3 surviving marriages are headed into a second year of marriage.

[@AlishaOutridge]

Amber is just annoying & unlikeable - that is why she & Barnett as a couple aren't reverred as much as Lauren & Cameron. I feel sorry for the disease Amber has though and wish her the best.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

@@AlishaOutridge While (we) I include me don’t like Amber and Barnett as as pairing (Amber is annoying), Cameron and Lauren being held up as a success because we (people not in their relationship) like them ignores the fact that rather they remained ‘likable’ or not isn’t a measure of success of the show. I believe no one is still married from season 2 but both season 1 and 3 produced two still married couples who (time of posting) seem to still be together and happy with said situations. There are longer running reality shows who have had far less couples get past what I call the ‘6 months and a breakup’ mark. To say Lauren and Cameron are the only success of LiB is saying ‘success’ is the audience liking you and your partner together not you and your partner liking each other no matter how much the audience does or doesn’t like you.

[@melaniegrace7707]

Even Lauren and Cameron have said this themselves!

[@patb2582]

😂

[@JustRaeesa]

I watched an interview Nancy gave on her time on Love is Blind. She explained that a week or two before the wedding, she sat Bartise down (away from the cameras) and told him her intention to say no at the alter (as the producers were saying they still had to have a wedding). She told him she recognized the lack of attention and affection he was giving as well as other indicatons that they weren't the right fit. In the interview, she says he then begged her not to say no, convinced her to give them another chance and then on the day of the wedding, minutes before walking down the aisle, as we saw, sent her a shot and described an assurance he was going to say yes. So she said yes... and then he said no. I truly believe he just didn't want to be the one rejected on television and instead wanted to be the rejector. Completely fits with how you're describing him.

[@burpie3258]

Wow.

[@KpTheG]

That’s why her family wanted to knock his head off

[@Aritul]

Thanks for pointing this out. I hope that she finds happiness with someone if that is what she is looking for.

[@Grahh777]

yikes!

[@wavesonswim8738]

He’s also comparatively the most attractive person out of his friend group which seems like a calculated intentional move to “stand out”. In reality he is average and then below average with his personality

[@Loveladylove]

To all the ugly ducklings, who turned into swans, pretty privilege, works to our advantage, because one thing that we have is character, and we had to work for it🙏🏾

[@smarti1144]

Even if you were never actually ugly, you just thought you were. Which is most common.

[@mikaylareina3988]

Yessss!

[@cultwonyo]

I hope this happens to me one day..

[@angelinaoliver5587]

Love it ❤

[@katecaballero8508]

Yessss ❤️

[@sircharlesmormont9300]

If Deepti is unattractive then God help the rest of us. That girl is gorgeous! All of the folks on Love is Blind are much more attractive than your average person. That makes it really hard to parse out a concept like pretty privilege within this context.

[@ptaradactletime11]

Tbh I think it’s easier to spot and more exasperated by the fact that the “ugly” ones are just normal people

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

You know, I usually find dark skin so sexy but something about her just doesn't do it for me it at all. If I had a friend describe her in detail I'd be like "yeah yeah set me up with her for sure" but I don't know what it is, I don't feel any attraction for her.

[@isaidwhatisaid484]

She’s not cute…she’s very average if even that and her personality doesn’t make her anymore appealing. There’s plenty of beautiful dark skin Indian women she just isn’t one of them.

[@amandasmith2740]

​@@Aaron-kj8dv no one needed or wanted your opinion

[@ambrosia1917]

please stop. deepti looks bad. crazy bone structure

[@maddyG7414]

People who only acknowledge you when you become attractive are so unappealing to me. I was overweight and not pretty for most of my life, then I lost the weight and suddenly men that treated me like a speck of dust were all smiles and attention. I’m not saying you can’t become more attracted to someone if their physical looks change, but if I wasn’t worth your respect before then we got a problem 🤷‍♀️

[@redvelvet9215]

Weight ≠ facial aesthetics

[@anditspaganpoetry]

I agree. When I was in elementary school I got bullied often, one bully was a boy named Nick, and in 6th grade he and another boy wrote me a very detailed email about every way I was ugly (pale, too skinny, thin lips, etc). Then at the end of middle school I ran into him at a party, and suddenly he was like “oh you look so different” (I honestly don’t think I did, I think just he changed), and suddenly super nice to me and trying to talk with me and make some kind of relationship. I couldn’t believe it.

[@DMp-xp6mj]

​@@redvelvet9215 Yes but weight can really change your facial structure especially if you're one of those people ( like me) whose cheeks puff up when they gain even the tiniest amount of weight. Plus, society doesn't really care. Most guys would choose an average thin girl over a very beautiful fat girl any day of the week.

[@STasugx]

@@DMp-xp6mj Tbf, most people (guys and girls) would choose an average thin girl over an “attractive” overweight girl. It’s in our DNA. We go after the fittest.

[@hineraable]

​@@redvelvet9215 What, losing weight can def change the way your face looks, unless your face was thin to begin with.

[@kellir2679]

Not just love is blind, most Netflix’s garbage dating shows are the same format. It’s sad they are cancelling great content because cheap “reality “ dating shows get more views, honestly how many versions of too hot to handle do we need?

[@carmen8958]

seriously im beyond pissed this is getting another season and they cancelled inside job 😭 if you haven’t watched it and like adult animation highly recommend, it’s like the most unique concept for a show i’ve seen in a while and they freakin cancelled it after 2 seasons and a cliffhanger per usual

[@nataliambenzi7206]

​@@carmen8958 agree inside job was epic

[@sbusisiweshaba1715]

We literally don't need another season, it has 100% failure rate.

[@pinanina1263]

​@@carmen8958 the cancelled mindhunter 😢

[@kyladanae]

I hate too hot to handle so much. The people act like airheads.

[@savvy3831]

As a pretty black girl who use to be nerdy and quite tomboyish in my early and mid teens. YES! Pretty privilege is VERY real! When you're seen as unattractive to people, you get treated like garbage, no one looks at you twice or stares at you, people judge you without trying to get to know you, it's very hard to make friends and you get left out of friend groups because people think your a loser, you never get approached unless someone needs you to help them with something and people only talk to you if they have to. I honestly feel sorry for "Unattractive" people that will have to go through that their entire life because from what I've experienced in the past it SUCKS! It's taught me to not trust people and made me realise that sometimes it's best to be on your own because so many people put on a fake facade.

[@luvburden5743]

With respect, at least with being unattractive you get a person who likes you for you more. You don't get sabotaged at your job because of your looks you don't get a guy who just want to be seen with you but not get to know you, you don't get envy from "unattractive ppl" who don't like you because your deemed attractive. You don't get hit on as a preteen by creeps because you are pretty, you don't get called a jazebel or fast because you are pretty,.. some girls just want you to be there friend because you are pretty, some jobs just want to keep you as a cashier or on the front because you are pretty, it's so much bull shit when you are attractive with a good heart. I tone down alot I wear big glasses now i cover up my body, I don't want any attention because being pretty inside and out brings so much HATE. The women are treacherous, and the men are shallow.

[@ariliving]

100 percent agree on this. I experienced this in grade school before I “blossomed” and unfortunately that outkast mentality and distrust stuck with me. I saw past the fake niceness with most people who suddenly wanted to be my friend after I became pretty. It’s so sad because I almost wish I was ignorant to it, it can be lonesome being so perceptive to reality and seeing past the BS people put out there. I am grateful though I have a found a few close real friends and I can depend on them not to backstab me or be fake with me.

[@savvy3831]

​@@luvburden5743 You're right! There is downsides to being Attractive but just from my past experience and how I use to get treated by people, I would never want to be unattractive again.

[@munkqiking7207]

Welcome to the average experience of 80% of men.

[@itsgrace1163]

@@munkqiking7207 this goes for everyone trust.

[@leticiacarvalho4269]

In Love is Blind Brazil, we had an overweight woman this last season match with a guy who looked athletic, and their connection looked VERY genuine based on their conversations. However, she did not mention her weight, and he said that health is more important than looks. If you get the chance, I highly recommend watching at least their story line and how it plays out

[@kkkiwi4899]

Is in English or Portuguese?

[@pixieorwhatever5275]

​@@kkkiwi4899its in Portuguese but it has subtitles.

[@sharonkantone9967]

Omg when he just left her standing there I couldn't...also she was way more attractive compared to him in my opinion...anyway loved the season

[@pixieorwhatever5275]

@@sharonkantone9967 she was a babe! There was no reason. Honestly she dodged a bullet.

[@CoutureKseni03]

Usually I'm annoyed by men being so salty about not getting dates because of their weight but reading these comments I'm honestly starting to understand them - so we can reject them for our standards (which we should, it's good to have them) but they can't even reject us if they just don't find excess weight attractive? WTF? And yes, a guy/girl who goes to the gym and tries to eat healthy probably wants the same for their partner. Tough luck

[@just-a-generic-username]

I think a lot of this was accurate, but we all have to remember that it came out later that Mark was cheating on Jessica while filming. Her behaviour wasn't great and she was clearly drinking too much but I think we missed a lot of the icky things Mark did behind the scenes which made Jessica's actions seem like they came out of nowhere.

[@berlintechno7907]

also he was suuuuuuper pushy!!!! trying to kiss her when she‘s clearly uncomfortable like who does that, gross

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

Agreed.

[@canesugar911]

True......omg finally someone is seeing mike for the sleeze he is. Incredibly manipulative.

[@cherishoneal9108]

You could play a drinking game with Mark saying “sure”.

[@melc_91]

I think he was attracted to Nancy but its her body shape he didnt like...He wanted a fit girl...after watching the perfect match I dont think he really cares about pretty...its more about the body type for him

[@SocietalNoob]

yeah because there is no way that girl isn’t conventionally attractive

[@bfbmain]

I absolutely agree with you!

[@melc_91]

@@bfbmain it's kind of the same with shake and deepti. It was when he saw her in the yellow bikini he changed and started to act up. A lot of men do want fit girls or very slim girls.

[@jewelmiller6367]

Nancy is fit though………she have a very curvy fit body like bigger breast and hips. Bartise was just an asshole who cares about what he likes. He was disrespectful to Nancy. The show is called love is blind ? If he wanted his exact preference he should of went on another show 😅

[@notyourmom4ever]

It’s surprising because most of these women look healthy to me. I guess the ideal body types differ for each man and we just need to find someone who appreciates us as a whole.

[@mochi-amie]

I agree with a lot of the concepts you're talking about, sitting with two classmates in a predominantly south east asian college, my two classmates proceeded to talk about how they did not like brown girls and that they were ugly. I am an asian female, the two guys were asian and Tamil. They saw my face cringe hard and I knew that they thought I was not fun to be around anymore. Adding to the fact that there are brown women all around us and could very much overhear them I realized that they were kinda dicks. Preferences are valid but the comment and lack of sensitivity came off much different than having a preference.

[@bfbmain]

Sorry you had to be around those guys! It’s a classic case of internalized racism and it’s really quite sad/frustrating

[@Ola_Stawinska]

Yeah, i think there is a difference in saying "i prefer light skinned people" and "brown people are ugly"... You can have your preference, just don't make people feel like shit because of it.

[@jeshurundaniel794]

Brown women are gorgeous and people that don't think that people who literally look like them can be beautiful are suffering from self hate

[@redvelvet9215]

Isn’t there a difference between skin color and facial features?

[@yojjjyoj1116]

@@bfbmain I think it’s self esteem not racism because u would find that these people are ugly looking

[@shine199723]

I think everyone should watch love is blind:Japan. It was so different than the American love is blind. And it actually showed a couple where the girl was clearly struggling and admitted that she was struggling with her partners looks. But you could tell she genuinely liked him, aside from this fact. She was never mean about it, just something that she had to deal with internally. And he was nice about it and knew too. Everyone on that show was so wholesome. A real example of what love is blind America should be.

[@thecoolintroverttv8381]

Usually when it's too wholesome it's actually pretentious soooo

[@dirtydorte8355]

By the way, this couple from Love is blind Japan now has a baby together. :)

[@Yararar]

@@thecoolintroverttv8381 having watched the LiB Japan, I don’t think it was pretentious, they were just very genuine and you could see it’s just the way they are, the culture they were raised in

[@snow7639]

Single inferno too! It’s entertaining but not as airhead as American dating shows

[@lynncrf]

I love Midori but I actually think she should have kept more of her thoughts on his looks to herself. They said they actually had a fight after they watched the episodes together. I can see why. I love them together but I would be so hurt if my husband said those things about me.

[@a.d.140]

Being a woman working in the Liquor industry, I have noticed an extreme difference between when I wear my hair down, straight &styled and putting on a little extra makeup than when I just pull my hair back in a bun and wear minimal makeup, the response from men is crazy. I get more flirtatious stares and more compliments of how "pretty" I am when I just put in a little more effort in my appearance. I still have the sane features I had when I do minimal makeup and still have the nice hair but it's just put up in a bun. It's bizarre to me.

[@genaugenau8144]

You dont understand male nature at all, do you?

[@alexialira3839]

Yes, it's crazy how looking good and taking care of our appearance attracts the opposite sex. Definitely something we need science to study.... 🤡

[@ccleavemebe4790]

@@alexialira3839 makeup doesn’t equate to looking good. What the original person commented does make sense

[@Mira-gu6we]

​@@alexialira3839 beauty is still beauty whether the hairs down or up, dont u think?

[@electricbop]

@@alexialira3839As you’ve proven, a bad attitude can also make you very unattractive no matter your physical appearance

[@molly8070]

I don’t think cam and Lauren was based on physical attraction. I think they actually went there for love and they seem like great communicators. Compared to everyone else they never seemed superficial

[@TalesOfATeaAddict]

i agree but they were obviously really attracted to each other

[@thecoolintroverttv8381]

Definitely 😍😍😍🥹

[@molly8070]

@@TalesOfATeaAddict yeah that just happened to be a plus

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

I wish there was another reality where we could simulate by making Lauren an uggo and then again making Cam an uggo and see what happens. I actually think they'd still be together because they seem like really sweet people.

[@ashley.taylor174]

They were also more intellectually and emotionally mature than most cast on these type of shows. They didn’t play games and knew what they wanted.

[@skylaramselle9391]

I grew up ugly and became pretty a few years ago. Yes pretty privilege is real but honestly the biggest disadvantage I’ve experienced is men being creepy. I get so many creepy comments from men 10-30 years older than me and sometimes it makes me want to go back and invisible and ugly again.

[@medline5140]

This part!!!! I feel the same way!

[@JaZmine147]

I've always had pretty privilege and let me tell you that it's not as fun as it seems. You'd think you'd attract equally pretty people but you just attract everyone which is very uncomfortable. I then gained 30 kg and finally was left alone although I still had a pretty face. It was amazing being left alone. It all started after being assaulted by a guy. After 10 years in obesity I decided to go to therapy and try to cope differently especially for my physical health.

[@alisonl.8373]

Had the same experience. Since becoming "pretty" my frequency with having bad interactions and being harassed by men has increased exponentially. Makes me want to be invisible. :/ Also, I feel like a lot of times people aren't listening to what I'm actually saying and judge me solely on my appearance. People don't take your opinions as seriously. 10/10, wouldn't recommend.

[@hechovisto]

I am sorry this happened to you. One thing though: I wish people also acknowledged that ugly people go through this too. I’ve been called ugly by lots of folks, and I was assaulted by someone who told me I was too. I wonder sometimes if it was a way to “punish” me, because no one would believe me afterwards (who would want to have s*x with an ugly girl), or if he felt he could treat me like garbage because the rest of society did too. I wish she included that in the video, because unattractive girls are not exempt from this either

[@anahitaazadeh3449]

@@alisonl.8373 I noticed this in middle school but couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was going on because I have autism. It was horrible being treated like I must be stupid, and people being surprised when my grades were actually good. Like why would that be surprising..

[@lj0727]

As someone who has seen both sides of this, I can answer your question and say I would choose being pretty 100 percent of the time. I grew up chubby, full of acne, and not at all pretty. I was literally treated like shit. Pretty people don't even notice the simple little things that happen in their everyday life only because they are pretty. I majorly glowed up in my twenties and now am considered conventionally pretty, and yes there are some annoying side affects. But it is always going to be better no matter what.

[@atkcsc]

I love how you connected this to the "hot felon". I agree that being pretty is a social currency, and having a pretty partner can also serve as such. Why else would people get trophy wives and husbands? People who go on reality TV can be especially the types who care more about social currency. And even with people who have less of it, I see people "in each other's leagues" end up together more often than people who are different in this regard. I have struggled with this concept for a while, and that's because although I feel selecting a partner based on this social currency is shallow, research into the psychology of choosing a partner highlights that we all gravitate towards people who are similar to us in a way, and that definitely includes factors like how pretty, successful, or rich we are. So can we really blame Shake and Bartise? The answer is yes, but that is because, as you have pointed out, they have disrespected and used Deepti and Nancy, not because they weren't attracted to them. S & B both have a problem perceiving themselves as higher-value people than they actually are (and for the record, I think Deepti and Nancy are both beautiful)... but that is something they would need to work on understanding.

[@bfbmain]

Love this comment, very well articulated!

[@francinesanchez5402]

I do think the “trophy wife” idea makes young beautiful women a magnet for narcissistic type individuals.

[@dereknueveuno]

Definitely true, works both ways also. Lot of women are missing out their soulmate because they’re only targeting 6ft + muscle and money.

[@TheRunawayOfToday]

I was an ugly duckling as a kid who grew up to be considered not only conventionally attractive but fell into the "hot goth girl" trope. There have definitely been downsides to my current appearance, but I'd never want to be homely again. A part of me hates saying that, but it's my truth, and I'm sure the truth for a lot of people in my situation.

[@jay1603]

Love is Blind PEAKED for Lauren and Cameron, we're all just pretending otherwise

[@strugglingcollegestudent]

Facts they are the only couple I watched for

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

💯

[@rockpaperreads]

Exactly

[@ania5038]

Isn't it weird that the first couple of the show seems to always do the best? Same with The Bachelorette with Trista and Ryan.

[@alfredfreedomjones5105]

What season were they?

[@veggiegrace13]

I agree with that one clip near the end, about how when pretty privilege is brought up it's always "it's hard to make friends because everyone's jealous!!" Instead of "I get harassed/sexualized more, people assume I'm not smart" etc. Because bring pretty makes literally EVERYTHING easier, including making friends. The halo effect is a very real thing, and if you're seen as conventionally attractive, people will automatically assume you're nicer and more trustworthy even if they have no real reason to think that. So if you're pretty and find it hard to make friends, maybe you're just not a nice person, and people AREN'T actually jealous. That just stems from the lies we're told as young girls, that any girl who's mean to us MUST be because they're jealous, and that any boy who's mean to us MUST be because they secretly like us. It's exhausting and toxic. And I will just say that from what I've seen and experienced, it will ALWAYS be more beneficial to be pretty. Any woman can tell you that it doesn't matter what you look like, you WILL be sexualized and harassed and you WILL be treated like you're stupid simply because you are a woman. Pretty privilege comes with wayyyy more benefits than downsides.

[@CosmicGardener]

Pretty privilege is very much similar to a thing talked about in most of my communication courses called "the halo effect" its real and exists on a spectrum. On a smaller scale it cna be discrimination at school or work and this is it on a bigger scale.

[@reflectsonlife]

Ppl keep forgetting that Amber and Barnett from S1 also married on the show, and are still married. Per your thesis, A&B are also equally conventionally attractive to each other. And adding to your point, I am sure that Cameron was cast because he is a kind and attractive white man who goes for black women. Otherwise, as we saw in Netflix's Perfect Match, the black women are basically unseen, unless they are white-assimilated culturally (Izzy).

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

I don’t think Cameron was casted bc he likes Black girls. He is just a rare kind of person who seems like he doesn’t really have a racial preference. A blank slate so to speak. There’s white men who date Black women (and we know who those guys are). And then there’s people who coincidentally end up with someone of a different race

[@stsworld4669]

Pretty sure Cameron said Lauren was the first black woman he had ever been with correct me if I’m wrong but I doubt that was his intention

[@princmp8550]

@@stsworld4669 The woman he was with before Lauren was also black.

[@reflectsonlife]

@@ninagrace-lee8323 as the reply above says, his prev gf was also Black. I'm not here to say that he exclusively dates Black women, ala Robert DeNiro. But in the first season of a new dating show, esp one that commits ppl to marry on the show itself, they needed some bone fide successes (not just 2 marriages->divorces as in S2), in order to legitimize the show, so they cast the show accordingly. These dating reality shows have been around for 20+ years, if you start with The Bachelor - they have honed down the Casting process to a science. If you ask any of the cast, they will tell you that the interview process - both in person and written - is rigorous and intense.

[@lousdinovembre]

I don’t think it’s fair to make statements like “he goes for black women” when you marry a black woman, especially when you don’t know his personal and dating life. There’s men that just find women of any race attractive and end up with whomever steals their heart making the race of a person really irrelevant. There’s men that end up marrying women of a background they never even dated before. The statement you made make it seem as if a white man can’t choose to date or marry a black woman unless he’s into black women. Cameron is a handsome man who happens to be white, who found Lauren, a beautiful woman who happens to be black, very attractive, loyal and the right match for him.

[@nicoleotto5505]

I had a close friend for most of my life who got handed jobs and got partners and friends due to being pretty and her mean personality got overlooked. I personally went from a healthy weight to morbidly obese and it was so sad to see how different you get treated based on that. I’m now a healthy weight again and it was a complete mind fuck noticing how I’m treated now.

[@jeremiahcarraway6419]

U made a big mistake u lose all your value when u get fat

[@genaugenau8144]

I dont see why you all are upset if you are treated worse when being overweight. Being overweight indicates that you dont have your life together and is unhealthy. Of course less man are interested in you if your risk of heart disease etc is higher.

[@marygl163]

@@genaugenau8144 and because she was overweight didn't have the right to be treated as a human? you don't care about other people's health, you only care about what you think is attractive, which super valid but that does not mean that you get to treat another person like shit just because you don't like them.

[@alexialira3839]

So you were "close friends" with this girl "most of your life," but you secretly bashed her for "having a mean personality" and "getting handed jobs, friends and boyfriends due to being pretty." Sounds like you're the one with the mean personality who was jealous of a pretty girl having the things you couldn't get ...because everyone else saw right through you.

[@ccleavemebe4790]

@@genaugenau8144 she said nothing about men and dating her. So in other words men only show respect when they want to sleep with women and even then your colors change when it’s a no or after it happens thanks for letting us know

[@verenaschmid1673]

I would love the show with "normal" people. Basically they throw 30 conventionally pretty people together, and you have this outcome. Put some normies in, and maybe love would actually blind.

[@annaknight5111]

That would prove that it's not tho. Cuz if "just the little bit lesser pretty" people (according to some) are having a tough go at it, any normal person would really get the boot.

[@mono8476]

i know wat u mean. i feel like everyone on the show is an npc. they hv reality tv personalities (convos r basic & bland). they keep talking about the relationship instead of actually being in the relationship if that makes sense

[@cutecheerfreak1]

I think you nailed it on the colorism when it comes to Deepti. I am a multiracial black/white woman. I have pretty privilege like I’m sure Deepti does, (she is gorgeous). I have brown hair and brown eyes, in my experience black men and multiracial men would often say things to me like you would be perfect if you had blue/green eyes and blonde hair. I am 30 and have had exactly 1 black boyfriend. In my experience partially due to the ethnic makeup of my area mostly white men and some Arab men find me attractive. I have had men openly admit to me they want biracial women to have “white” features I don’t have, while I have also had white men openly admit to me they enjoy my “exotic” looks. It is exhausting and I am sure her experience is similar. Also I should state it is not from lack of interest in black men, they usually reject me and over time I have stopped trying.

[@terynaliya]

This is a great video. Colorism is still very much alive and it's so unfortunate. As a lighter-ish black girl, the amount of times that people have tried to hit on me while simultaneously putting down darker skinned girls is disappointing. On more occasions than I can count guys have said things like "well you're not THAT black" or "I don't usually like black girls, so what are you? "like it was supposed to be a compliment. This isn't only in brown communities though. Most of those comments have come from white guys (that I threw in the garbage bin immediately).

[@ktp.]

Well done throwing those trashy types where they belong. They're insulting your intelligence by assuming you'd take their attention and statements as compliments. So glad these idiots make it easy to filter them out. 😆🤣

[@jenniferhil942]

Your video was randomly recommended and I’m so happy that it was! Great job!

[@DarthMagog]

I'm glad that you touched on colorism. Personally I know more brown and black men than women, but even they describe being commoditized. So I can only imagine how much worse it is for women. I like to think a healthy relationship is reliant on mutual interest, mutual values and mutual attraction. Even if someone isn't a stone cold, 10/10, if they're not "attrative" to someone it's no dice. But that's just me. Loved the video, sound quality and editing are tops. To paraphrase Ian MicDiarmid "We'll be following your channel with great interest 😊"

[@tobeornottobe9689]

I would not choose to be not pretty, but can we talk about the fear of aging in the pretty community and all the changes, adjustments, and consequences of trying to maintain youth and attractiveness. 😩

[@tfkdandsvkc]

Yes ageism is brutal

[@fionaWhatever]

i think i had pretty privilege in high school - but growing up I've been realising that it was probably a thing of living sort of on the countryside with less "competition" (if you wanna call it that), whereas when i moved to the city to study I quickly realized that i look pretty....average lmao. And honestly, i feel like it's biting me in the ass because back then I learned to equate my value with (a normative conception of) beauty, and that's just a whole lot of bullshit and insecurities to deprogram.

[@Drinkin_fire]

Growing up in a mostly white small town. I was always called 'exotic'. And kind of fetishized for my skin color. As a quiet kid, that was not the type of attention i wanted. Leaving that town and moving to a more diverse city is definitely an eye opener. I feel like I blend in better and no one's bothers me too much.

[@blushsun5234]

I’ve never been called pretty or ugly. The only time someone commented abt my looks was in middle school, my friend talked to boy to rate every girl in class. She comes to me running excitedly and tells me his rating of every girl, then with the biggest smile she told me he thinks I’m half :/ I’m pretty and ugly! She didn’t mean it in bad intent to tell me, she just didn’t see any bad in it

[@GOODGYALISM]

okay but the change in how people are treated after weightloss is a whole video for itself, i was invisible to the eye until i lost 60lbs and it honeslty gave me trust issues! pretty (and thin) privilege is def real and super toxic . our society is lacking more morals and emotions/compassion the older we get (as a generation) edit: also ,new sub ! love ur commentary and moderation style !!

[@joelprince4170]

@leolilly9111 the crazy thing it's actually pretty common. When your fat your indivisible but when you lose weigth you become visible.

[@arshimalik0786]

I had always been fat for 19 years of my life. I just decided on my 19th birthday that i want to loose weight, not because it's good for me , but because that's how a guy would actually try to love me. If i was slim , pretty or sexy like other girls , maybe someone would like me? So after loosing a lot of weight and completely transforming myself from the DUFF , my guy friends actually started hitting on me. The same ones who thought i was funny and a good human , now thought that I've become sooo pretty. That's when realisation hit me how external looks matter a lot. I was nice earlier too but very few people would be attracted to you based on your personality. EXTERNAL LOOKS MATTER AND PRETTY PRIVILEGE IS VERY COMMON IN THE SOCIETY.

[@redvelvet9215]

Fat does not equal facial aesthetics. Would you rather have a pretty face and be fat? Or be ugly and fit?

[@arshimalik0786]

@@redvelvet9215 i was just sharing a person experience, my face has become a lott more defined after loosing fat, if i gain any weight it'll first show on my face and then lower tummy. I'm just saying people treat you very differently if they feel like you're pretty.

[@toruri]

I always say that the Halo Effect can be so dangerous. People will begin to diminish the crimes of some people just because they're conventionally attractive. It's gotten so bad that there are fandoms worshipping serial killers. I don't even know what to say about that.

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

To me, Dahmer and Bundy were average AF, but the media sold them as attractive to the point where people to this day would like to date them even though they'd more than likely be unalived and eaten at the end of it (yes, Bundy ate people too).

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

Great video, but I think sometimes in discussion we forget there's also 'average', you are not just pretty or 'ugly'. Pretty privilege isn't black or white, it's an accumulation of social currency. There is def loss factors, like attractive dark skin people will be fetishes....like 'wow, look how attractive this DARK person is' (because society is so anti dark, it needs to quantify anything that shakes that up). Like I think in the case of Love is Blind Depti is a average attractive women, Nancy is an average attractive woman...neither are ugly (no one on LiB has been what I would call 'ugly'). Where as Raven is gorgeous and FIT. I am overweight, I have struggled with weight all my life. In my head all these women have a level of pretty privilege that I will likely never know, when it comes to social currency all three women have more then me. That doesn't change the fact that when a Nancy and a Raven are in a room together, Raven's social beauty currency may rate higher. She might get attention where as Nancy will have to 'seek' attention. That being said, Nancy, Raven, and Depti have likely all faced Colorism and racism as a factor in their social beauty currency. Pretty Privilege exist but it's not a have it/don't have it binary issue. It's a beauty currency issue. There's supermodel gorgeous, there is pretty, there's basic, but not outright ugly, and then there's the genetically cursed, lol 😅. And at each level there are different levels of doors opening just based on prettiness. There's also social currency and romantic currency which are different. Pretty people are generally treated well even if there's no interest in dating them. 'Type' for romantic and dating purposes from person to person is such a unique set of circumstances it shouldn't be mixed up together with say, being more likely to have a door opened for you. That being said I think what falls apart on Love is Blind is actually MORE than a looks issue. There is an energy to sharing space with someone. Zanab and Cole were a TERRIBLE personality clash. I never got the sense Cole wasn't sexually attracted to Zanab. But there is something loss to not seeing facial expressions for example. These folks are thrown into living together so they are immediately exposed to things like daily cleanliness habits. There's a lot more going on in the collapse of some Love is Blind couples beyond looks. I actually do know couples that seem, attractiveness factor, mismatched, that are happy together tbh. But I also find in most cases the person who has less 'attractiveness currency' probably had a rougher time dating and was a 'surprise' in the personality category to their more attractive partner.

[@bfbmain]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! I agree with a lot of what you've said, especially on the range of social currency and on energies clashing (Zanab/Cole) in relationships! :)

[@rachellotus5137]

Wow totally agree with everything you said and well-put!

[@gloriaemon6624]

Well written!

[@mpro9446]

Best comment here!

[@thecoolintroverttv8381]

So well put, this was an interesting take❤

[@mollydonahue9318]

God the part where you talked about that guy who didn't acknowledge you until you lost 25 pounds is so real. My friend is also very conventionally attractive (blonde, blue eyes, skinny, etc.) and she gets so many guys talking to her. When I'm with her they literally completely ignore me and act like I'm not even there, to the point that when I speak they look annoyed and disgusted and will sometimes even make rude comments. I hate that I'm not even treated with basic human respect just because of how I look. If you don't adhere to every single beauty standard then you'll never be good enough and it really sucks because there's so many different types of beauty. I think a really good point made in this vid is how some ppl base their attraction on how other people are viewing the relationship and how if you're deemed attractive by society then you'll be bringing status to your partner, almost like a trophy being shown off. It's terrible that people (even good looking people in a lot of cases) are made to feel unlovable or ugly just because of the features they have. You can be attractive and also have a big nose, cellulite, acne, different skin tones, etc.

[@matariki9818]

for me, the problems of pretty privilege were well illustrated by Colleen and Raven last season. They were both incredibly pretty and only valued for their looks, which made them extremely guarded (Raven) or on the contrary way too needy for validation (Colleen). Colleen seemed to auto-categorized herself as the dumb and bubbly shallow girl and suffered from it but couldn't for the heck of it leave this shell. Both of them ended up with guys that did not love them for themselves, sadly. I think what mattered the most about Lauren and Cameron, above their looks, is the self-confidence they had and the confidence they builded within one another. Each of them knew their worth and were mature enough to handle the hardships. I can't wait for a new season with elder profiles.

[@master11050]

So, I've seen both sides more than once. I was skinny, became fat, worked out and got fit, then went back to being fat after an injury. I can tell you that the difference in how people treat you is night and day. I could do and say the exact same things but people's reaction will change based on how I look at the time. Someone who has stayed mostly the same probably has no idea how dramatic the difference is in how people treat you. Even other straight men treated me differently based on how I looked which I don't quite understand.

[@jadeschultz1449]

The saying of “ beauty is the eye of the beholder “ is so true. Because we do get with people who we think are attractive, and most of the time when the attraction isn’t there it’s not going to work out. Like I met this guy who was so nice and funny we got along really well and we liked each other . He even drove from Arizona to Nevada for one day just to see me. But sadly I did not find him attractive and didn’t see myself being with him forever. And I’m glad we ended it cuz I did find the guy who was similar to me and I was very attractive to him. But that doesn’t mean just because this one person doesn’t find you attractive mean that you will never find someone, there are millions of people on planet earth and you are bound to find someone .

[@nostalgicgirrl6053]

Hi, I just got your video in my recommendations and I’m glad to find more social commentary type content from south asians because I believe we have a unique voice if we choose to speak up. You are so right about the whole “most men are nice to you if you’re pretty”. That has happened to me too with my friends boyfriends.. It’s so weird. I am polite, nice, and welcoming to people depending on their energy and their personality, not their appearance. Is it REALLY so hard to just be neutral and friendly and not give a cold shoulder to women simply because they are not conventionally pretty? Ugh.. If a man is insensitive like this, it’s clear that he has a poor character and he’s not a good warm individual at heart.

[@Beepboop-rn4zf]

Amazing video, this is so true and something people need to stop acting as if doesn’t exist to make themselves feel less vain. Looks are literally everything and as a woman there’s no way to win, if you’re “pretty” you’re used and if you’re “ugly” you’re ignored.

[@blueheo]

Lauren and cameron from season 1 are the only reason this show is still going! They are the most wholesome couple! Love is real !

[@Lorethaaa]

This is false. The latest season is the best so far. They literally broke the internet.

[@donnafayeallday0]

Ive never been considered pretty. To anyone nor myself. I’m okay with it. When I was younger I wished I was pretty and wanted the attention popular and pretty girls had. It was so bad I didn’t even eat lunch during high school for fear of being bullied for being too yellow skin or eating weird food. The only thing that protected me from going insane to get validation from society was that my parents kept me at home. Never allowed me to hang out with friends where I would be in a situation that I would be vulnerable to be taken advantage of. In the end, I grew up and I never cared to be anything but healthy and clean. I feel great when I’m clean and I have a job to go to. Life isn’t always fair, but I chose to just do me and forget about the standards the rest of the world is running on. I’m happy with being clean and having food to eat

[@mittag983]

You sound like a great and humble person :)

[@maddieknudsen6736]

What I don't like about attractiveness, especially for women, is that people expect that everything should be about that. If you aren't 'conventionally' as attractive, you're treated as though you failed the number one thing a woman should be. If you are, it's expected that you should have a boyfriend, marry well, do something that revolves around your looks like model or something. I feel like the number one trait a woman is expected to have is beauty. But women want men who are driven, successful, intelligent - being attractive is just a bonus really. I think we should all focus on how much talent and skill women have outside of beauty. Our purpose on this earth is not purely to attract a mate.

[@PeteS_1994]

Men could say the same thing but on different subjects like being socially awkward, confident, loud. If they are autistic, but it isn’t obvious to most people, they can easily be mistaken for a creep for example. I don’t believe that it’s as easy as it seems to measure how driven or smart someone is as people act different in different circumstances.

[@janedoee4830]

This was a great video. I hope you get more views and subscribers bc this is good content. I also totally agree with what you said.

[@regeneratex]

Agreed!!!

[@savesoil3133]

#ConsciousPlanet

[@AlyssaAska]

I understand there are drawbacks to being pretty, but I would trade all of my "character" for a life of being even normal looking. I was tormented daily in school, I had a horrible childhood and never any friends. I had girls sitting behind me that would spend the whole class talking about how ugly I was during biology to the point that I was in tears. I really wonder if I had the privilege if I would have had as many issues and trauma as I did, which have impacted my life, because especially as a young adult my self esteem really affected my choices. There were plenty of character building parts of my life not related to my looks, that made me strong without traumatising me.

[@SAA-hr9gr]

I'm sorry for that but unfortunatly I don't think pretty honestly helps in this sence either. You kinda need to be average. I have often been told I am pretty since a young age and I really didn't have many friends being girls. Many would smack talk on me behind my back criticing my dancing for example and said they hate me but never said a word to me ever. To be fair I was also never in to the whole "agree with everyone to fit in and be popular" but yeah. A mix of jealousy and being true to my values and opinions made me quite an outcast.

[@trxphywaifalt]

If that’s you in your pfp I’m not trying to be mean or shady but you seem normal looking to me

[@AlyssaAska]

@@SAA-hr9gr I'm sorry you had to deal with that. My best friend was also super pretty - I was the "ugly and smart" one, and she was the "pretty and dumb" one, as people called us. She got picked on a lot as well, but mostly because her family was rich and people were jealous of that. But as a child I still wished always that I could be pretty, even if it meant I got picked on. After elementary school it seemed to stop for her but got much worse for me. People obv don't make fun of me now that I am an adult but I've never had a single guy pursue me, at age 37. Other than creeps that wanted to use me for sex.

[@AlyssaAska]

@@trxphywaifalt thanks, I mean then I was much younger, I am 37 now - now people don't make fun of me because they are adults, but I've never experienced anyone in my life thinking I was pretty. I've always been the "ugly friend". I would just be curious to experience a lot of the things I missed out on (dating, having people interested in me, people being nice).

[@SAA-hr9gr]

@@AlyssaAska young kids are just mean and many men are creeps. Can totally relate to that ._.

[@theyogainn]

I feel like pretty privilege is rooted mainly in misogyny, racism, colourism, etc. The patriarchy and consumer culture generally drives what is considered “pretty” for a woman.

[@redvelvet9215]

Agreed. If you don’t have a small nose, plump lips, perfect smile, fair skin, hourglass body, big eyes, or small face, or proportionate features, you are “less pretty”

[@EconomicWarfare]

💯

[@Ash_Wen-li]

No. It's rooted in the Halo effect. The other factors play a part but not that much

[@Kara-k2s3j]

Agree!!

[@zonk35]

omg instant subscription. I like the editing and the energy you bring to this conversation.

[@therockbottom5256]

Thank you so much for touching on the disadvantages of pretty privilege. I used to write poetry about how isolating it was, that I just wanted someone to see me as Funny, smart and charismatic. That really only came from teachers and admins who were able to *not* sexualize me, but most did. I had ONE boy from the Freemasonic Youth group I joined be honest with me once and say that because of how I looked and how I dressed on top of it, nobody would ever be able to see me as anything wholesome. At 24 I now make an active effort to be goofy, nervous seeming, and generally unintimidating. I am one of those “never met a stranger” people though so I constantly get told that I’m flirting when I’m not, just for being interactive, something I don’t think less attractive women get accused of.

[@walqqr1]

As someone who used to be an "ugly duckling" as a kid and then got a major glow up in high school, YES, pretty privilege is real. As an awkward, dorky kid, people considered me a loser. I did have a few friends who looked past appearances, but most people were not so nice to me. At high school, I became conventionally "pretty" and all of a sudden everyone thought I was cool, so it became pretty easy to make friends.

[@IlikepurpleXP]

Side note: How does one even know whether or not they’re “conveniently attractive”? I’ve felt ugly and invisible all throughout my school years and adulthood especially being overweight and a POC in predominantly white places. But at the same time, I’ve had complete strangers approach me just to tell me I’m pretty (in a genuine non-creepy way). It appreciate those compliments and it temporarily boosts my confidence, but not for long.

[@mariah_the_mnm]

plz lmk when u find out cuz i’ve had a similar experience as u too 😭😭

[@IlikepurpleXP]

@Orange not sure if having euro features is the blanket definition. There are plenty of (gorgeous) non-white people who I’ve seen be labeled as “conventionally attractive” as well.

[@hannahwinterhalder741]

When complete strangers approach you, to tell you if you ard pretty...then you are obviously pretty. Now I'm not sure if you are conventionally pretty, but does it matter? Being conventional pretty, is also something that is (sometimes) hard to pin down. You can find someone who's conventionally pretty, not pretty and someone who's not conventional pretty, pretty. So all in all, I would say you are pretty so don't worry about with it's conventionally or not.

[@nataliacastillo687]

It happened to me so many times and I don't understand why, I'm a bit chubby, my hair is dry and awful so I don't get it

[@IlikepurpleXP]

@@hannahwinterhalder741 thanks I guess I’ll run with this! 😂

[@SaplingsCo]

I didn’t realize this show went past season 1 I-

[@bfbmain]

Lmaooo!

[@everythingshareable]

As a pretty girl you get lots of attention from men, even from crazy, weird, very old men, even if you don’t wear provocative clothes. Some of them might stuck you for years and send you pictures of you eating a sandwich in public, some might knock on your door in the middle of the night because they delivered Amazon stuff to you and you smiled at them and they thought it’s an invitation. Some might make your life at work miserable just because you rejected them. Then you blame yourself for being nice, you regret living alone and going abroad and think about getting married as soon as possible to feel protected. Getting attention from men is not always a good thing. But pretty privileged is a real thing, people in general trust you more.

[@ashtonsmith9682]

Oh boohoo the life of a pretty women in a western country is so hard. Go crazy a river somewhere

[@bellaapple2166]

I think you described how I always felt. I am mixed. My family never talked to me about boys, men, predators so I was extremely naive and it caused me to be sxxually harassed since I was a child. My mother was extremely jealous so she broke my self esteem and self worth before I even understood beauty. I wanted to get married so bad even as a teen. I just wanted to be loved and protected. Instead it was extreme jealousy and hatred from women and aggression from men that couldn't have me. Every relationship has been men being abusive, and trying to put me down. I don't think I ever enjoyed my had a moment to enjoying it pretty privilege because when I left the house I basically had to prepare myself for the harassment and entitled men that would become aggressive by me saying no.

[@everythingshareable]

@@bellaapple2166 I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you meet a good man and build a family that will be your safe heaven.

[@ashtonsmith9682]

@@bellaapple2166 stop making stuff up. Most men aren't predators or treated you poorly. Poor stacy crying about her perfect life.

[@alextroy9202]

Who said your pretty

[@ClaraBell3452]

I grew up with my appearance being a focal point of my value. I was simultaneously complimented only for being pretty and "sweet" while also being told that if boys "lust after" me, it's my fault and I've caused them to sin against God. One time, my dad said it's my fault that they would go to hell for having lustful thoughts about me. At the same time he would compliment my looks all the time. It was such a crazymaking reality to grow up in. I had old men try to get me to follow them out of the store when I was just a kid and stuff like that. So I thought being pretty was the worst thing about me back then. But now that I'm older and I'm starting to age, hello 30, I can say that all of this has formed who I am today. And I did have a lot of benefits from being pretty as well. That being said I struggled with major low self esteem and never even dated till I was 25 for the first time because I always felt like men only liked me for my looks. It's a feeling I still struggle with.

[@elfar9843]

Hmph. Well, this comment- your argument- shows you are one smart woman.

[@shirinzed6481]

I feel the same way. And now that I’m starting to age (hello 30!) i sometimes worry that I’m gonna lose everything because I’m gonna lose my beauty soon

[@elfar9843]

@@shirinzed6481 your beauty won't fade. Not even the slightest. You will Age gracefully. Remember not to stress too often and not to allow unpleasant things and circumstances to cause wrinkles. I pray that you embrace your evolution.

[@Tessy29k]

Doesn't sound like a privilege

[@honeylavender1122]

I totally agree with you! I was on the late train to watching Love Is Blind and I fast tracked through the season to very quickly conclude that Love is in fact NOT BLIND... and that the looks mattered especially to the men and/or when there was a significant difference in attractiveness

[@vesislavaofficial]

This was a great video ! Really enjoyed it ! Ramadan Kareem 🌙

[@bfbmain]

Thank you! You too! :)

[@lumijasminasmr3583]

Nancy is so pretty. And am saying this as a bi woman. Not that it should obviously be the point, we should all be equal anywa. m just shocked how extremely strict these beauty standards are.

[@gothkid1011369]

Thank you for the concert, This was awesome!

[@Dan5819]

You are so right. I have to laugh at "Love is Blind" when every single person is GORGEOUS. And the times when someone said "yes" and then saw the other person for the first time and there was not an attraction --- NOPE, it didn't work out. That kind of 'love' is not blind. And I seriously think something else is going on with Shake with the sexuality thing. I may be wrong, but I have dated men like him before and they 'act' very attracted but turn and get so cruel just afterwards -- and cold and distant and put me down. They want you to blame yourself for their non-attraction when, in reality, it is all them. They like a pretty girl on their arm so people think they are a stud (when the opposite is true).

[@cyanidestrawberry]

I also can identify with Deepti. I have a small track record dating black men because I get treated as arm candy rather than pursued due to a genuine interest. The same goes for with brown/Latinx folks. Pretty privilege is scary and I sometimes problematically am jealous of the automatic fear response people have for folks like my mom and partner who have worked for and earned their voices being heard and respected because I’m damn near 30 and still get treated like a toddler.

[@cyanidestrawberry]

Side note: I’m not saying I haven’t had the same track record with white folx it just hurts more when it’s your own people

[@buckwheat_flower]

my thoughts exactly during my entire failed marriage. My ex mother in law even was "discussing" with her son that how he shouldn’t beat the hell out of me just because he thinks I'm ugly. Mind you, i eloped and destroyed my family's reputation for that man because he convinced me that he genuinely loved me. I believe i would never be able to forgive any of them.

[@phoenix5054]

What country are you from? Beating a woman for being “ugly” seems excessive.

[@buckwheat_flower]

@@phoenix5054 Bangladesh. South asian country. May not be the entire reason but sure was one of it.

[@selma8337]

you’re so pretty and i love commentary videos. new sub!

[@Lafilledlapluie]

Love is blind is a mess😂 not just because of the pretty privilege 😂 but back to the topic. Nancy is actually pretty so it's definitely what you said about Bartise.

[@ginjarh9070]

Nawe waze wamuhle maZulu

[@ginjarh9070]

Uyatholakala kodwa kuInstagram sxoxe?😅😅😅

[@Lafilledlapluie]

@@ginjarh9070 uh no I'm from Zambia 😂

[@notyourmom4ever]

Ikr. Nancy is so gorgeous and has many good features. Maybe it’s because POC have different views on beauty than the white beauty standard…

[@katie2019]

The bartise/Nancy thing is so crazy to me because Nancy is pretty conventionally attractive. It’s not like her and Raven are on two completely different levels

[@hollykingston8984]

Completely agree I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t be happy with Nancy she’s gorgeous and so sweet

[@desserteyes6978]

I don’t find her pretty. And she’s masculine.

[@abbylauren7827]

i've never even watched love is blind but i loved this video so much. pretty privilege is such a divulging topic and i loved your viewpoint on it. on to watch more of your vids!

[@mourgie]

I think this topic was discussed in a very respectful and thorough way. I really enjoyed watching the video and it shed light on what I presume to be the main aspects of this topic.

[@Joanna9514]

As someone who has gained and lost weight multiple times during my life, I can definitely attest to this. Whenever I was overweight I literally got insulted on the street almost daily. Last year I moved to a South Asian country and am now experiencing being treated with the respect that my average-looking ass could have never gotten back home among fellow white people lol. I never knew what it would be like to have people respect my opinion at work and not treat me like I'm stupid.

[@justanotherhappyhumanist8832]

I always find it so strange when people say that they only date one race - whether it be their own race, or a different one. I just date whoever I connect with, and as a result, every guy I’ve had a relationship with has been of a different race (or combination of races) than the last. Only dating a certain race reeks of fetishisation to me - as if a person’s race has anything to do with who they are as a person, and how good of a partner they make. Maybe I’m the odd one out in this, because I tend to value personality, intelligence, and connection over looks, but a particular race just seems like such a frivolous and meaningless criteria to have in a partner.

[@somaghosh1800]

Great video and really interesting points. I really resonated with a lot of what you said here. Will be interested to see if season 4 has another example of couples that fit into this.

[@jaybandanacabana]

I applaud you for your very insightful take on this topic and will tune in again to see what you talk about next. As a straight biracial man of African 🇳🇬 & 🇰🇭 decent, I've been told that I'm conventionally attractive but I don't take myself seriously. Though the issue I notice a lot is that most women (not all) want to date me based on a fetishized idea, which has been glamourized by the likes of the Kardashians and others. Maybe I'm over exaggerating but it just feels weird to me.

[@Mel-gl2zg]

I’m fairly conventionally attractive and there definitely are those downsides, for example when it comes to dating it makes you wonder if the person you’re going out with would even love you if it weren’t for your looks. It was also a struggle as an autistic person who couldn’t tell if someone was being unfairly mean to me out of jealousy or because I did something wrong and didn’t realize. A majority of my close friends were always guys and almost every time they were into me. I didn’t know if I had real friends or just guys who wanted me, and it was very isolating (flattering, but it made me feel as though nobody actually wanted to be my friend). That said, I wouldn’t want to be ugly either. Society is so much better to people who are good looking and Id be scared to give it up. Like sure, at least I’d know people like me for who I am but with how shallow the world is the downsides would be too much, and it’s really depressing that that’s the case.

[@Totallyxmoody]

Okay but our queen herself just came to slay, I'm not aware this of youtubers name, she's new to me but SO BEAUTIFUL, the top, the lipstick, the VIBE, I'm here to stay

[@princesszara111]

“And tell me why“ lol I knew where the story was going girl 😂😂💖

[@carmen8958]

this topic is so interesting to me as someone who grew up the ugly fat kid most my life and after developing an ED and addiction i obviously lost most of that weight and (like everyone does) i grew into my features more and suddenly im getting all this attention that i haven’t ever gotten. so little teenage me genuinely took that as love or admiration especially from boys, when it was all just objectification the entire time. and like i said i had only gotten “prettier” because i was starving myself and literally poisoning my body it was one of the darkest times of my life and half the reason i was so afraid to get clean was i didn’t wanna go back to being the fat one as if that’s anything bad. you can see how brainwashed i was huh. and people don’t understand that just because you look pretty doesn’t mean you see yourself that way and i’ve never felt pretty so you still end up seeking validation, which is sadly what i did and i let people use me and take advantage of me because i didn’t understand that they only saw one thing i was good for. it shatters any chance you have at growing some damn self respect until you DRAG urself off the ground and start trying, and im still light years away from that now at almost 21. pretty privilege is definitely real with the way others treat you but i wish we called it something else because being objectified and dehumanized i wouldn’t exactly call a privilege. it’s just so much more deeper than that. but the girls who complain “oh i can’t have woman friends bc their jealous” yeah no those are not the issues im talking about here lol.

[@carmen8958]

and i do wanna acknowledge im mostly white passing when my hair is straight and that definitely impacts how “much” pretty privilege you can get to society. my SUPERMODEL looking Pakistani best friend got picked on even more than i did not for being fat like i was but just her skin, so i don’t wanna sit here and pretend women like me got the worst of it because that’s beyond far from the truth.

[@redvelvet9215]

Interesting how ugly translates to being fat or skin color, but it’s actually facial aesthetics and facial harmony. Your weight doesn’t change your natural facial features. Your story would be better if you had a large nose, but nope, you’re a grifter who thinks weight determines “ugliness”

[@paegglaresi3597]

Just as the curse of being rich, the curse of being pretty is easily remedied: don't wear make-up, get a dorky haircut, wear baggy clothes, gain 50 pounds: and voilà! Suffering is over!

[@luxursunsets]

ummm yikes

[@blondie9909]

Yeah u see i dont think its a matter of pretty privileged its a matter of society putting down and not valuing "ugly" people or treating them like people. Like theres nothing wrong with being nice to someone but there is something completely wrong with treating someone worse becuse u dont find them attractive. Like i feel like pretty privileged almost puts "blame" on "pretty" people when the "blame" should be on treating "ugly" people worse. You know what i mean? The pretty privileged should be standard for all people not how people treat "ugly" people .

[@paegglaresi3597]

Of course, i an ideal world nobody should be treated with less respect just because of their looks. My commentary was aiming at people complaining of how hard being pretty was.And how hard being rich was.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

yeah exactly, most of the complaints are humble brags "uuh, I hate how easy it is for me to attract men!"

[@exnihilonihilfit6316]

​​@@paegglaresi3597 Not so if it's something you can control - like weight or dress. Then the less respect is 100% deserved/earned.

[@_tideaina]

Even without the couples as case studies every contestant walks into love is blind with the assurance that whoever they choose is "pretty enough" to be on television. They've never ever cast someone that was straight up ugly or even well below mid because the audience wants to see pretty people.

[@briannahawkins7561]

Nancy is SO hot too... like???

[@hunnybunny20000]

I really don’t even understand why people act like this isn’t a thing. From the time when people didn’t find me attractive, and now… Yeah, there’s a big difference. Some good, some bad.

[@debradowner8761]

Being overly attractive can really take away from your personality, you really have to focus on who you are instead of how you look which is different when most ppl just like how you look

[@kylechampion1584]

I don't know about being pretty... but being a bodybuilder has gotten me more jobs on the spot when I know I wasn't qualified. Every guy wants to be my gym friend and def never had a problem with women. And to add to it when I was younger in school I was the "fat kid" who got constantly picked on... I never had any pretty privilege then

[@kylechampion1584]

@Teesta~ why you hating?

[@TruthorOrder]

Your content is very well made and spot on 👏 ✔️ 👍 👌 subscribed

[@nataliaopoku]

i had to subscribe! you absolutely hit the nail on the head!!!

[@melenakarajova3728]

I was trying to explain this to my x-bf how damaging pretty privilege is, especially for women, since it affects things beyond just love, when I was in my flop era (stress, not caring how I dressed etc) I hung out with a typically attractive girl (Which also turned out to be toxic and hung out with me only cause her status is higher next to me, eg. I am not a threat), and people would flat out IGNORE ME, push me aside physically to talk to her, forget I existed even when they've met me 5 times or more, it was insane. I tried my best not to attach value to my person based on external things but damn after a while it got to me, it was almost dehumanizing. not to mention I work in healthcare and even PATIENTS would not listen to me if there was a more attractive woman in the room, dude this is your health, its of best interest for you to listen to my questions. I would like to comment that I am not an unattractive person! , I am just on the shorter side and easily start to look frumpy and like a corgi even with minimal puffiness, or weight gain. anyway I explained this to my X, he never commented about it, didn't say much , and then left me for his co worker saying ''sorry she just give mes the butterflies I never had with you, she's just more attractive, I was never attractede to you etc'. oh fast forward, 3 years down the line, he's in psychiatric care and obsessed with me (the one that got away, he didn't mean any of the stuff, he's sorry bla bla ) I also look much much better, coincidence? I think not.

[@DynamicUnreal]

Looks absolutely matter, and they matter more to women than they do to men - according to OKCupid and Tinder statistics. Women are extremely harsh when judging looks in men, especially in the west.

[@peace0fmind2]

i love your commentary! i totally agree.

[@hbassey]

I love this video and the music and graphics you used!

[@plantsandsauce]

This is the first video i've watched from your channel and I absolutely loved the video format/ structure! I listed to it like a podcast so the break ups in the topic etc. really helped the flow as a listener. So happy to have found your channel!!

[@gothkid1011369]

14:56 by the end of this, I am deeply bothered I believe myself to be the type of person that is more attracted to another persons qualities The way they view the world and treat the world So over time to meet people, grow to be more or less beautiful, depending on how they move through the world This also applies to me when I feel I move through the world with peace and kindness. Then I view myself as a beautiful person. I viewed his ugly of me to move through the world with harshness and carelessness to other peoples feelings Which makes it hard for me to express my own feelings There’s a duality to everything, and when you can find it, you can find peace and you can dance along the tight rope of life with ease that tight rope grows to feel like a broad road, like an open field It’s a beautiful thing I’m trying to find my way back to it

[@AT-eu4zu]

I grew up with South African Indians…. I’m lighter than you Yusra and I was always told how ugly I was growing up and even now after a glow up I’ll never be pretty to them. My sister and cousin are super white and everyone loves them people would come up to me in school and ask why I didn’t look like them. Now that I left the community at age 30 I didn’t realise so many people found me beautiful. It’s crazy. So I don’t mind being with a brown person , in fact I am not attracted to white males as much as darker skinned males but my bf is super white, Latina but very fair and I adore him for him but I am very glad I am now where I’m accepted and I won’t return to the community or interact much with those people only because they don’t want it either, I tried many years , lots of heartache , having had an ex husband who abused me because I was part black. Now it’s like I’m free and I’m very happy 😊

[@moshpitalityxoxo]

I haven’t even finished the video yet but I’m just commenting to this is exactly what I was trying to articulate about love is blind but couldn’t myself! A very well done video, love it.

[@eprd91]

Agree with all of this and then, as you mentioned with weight, being conventionally attractive isn't a static thing over life & there's lots of folks that have experienced both. I've always found it interesting that both myself and the partner I ended up with have had long periods where we were overweight (deemed "unattractive") and periods where we were "in shape" and conventionally attractive, and therefore understand the fleetingness and emptiness of that privilege--- which I guess feeds into your point of us choosing somebody on the same "level." But it's been interesting to me that my current coworkers who have only known me as "thin" -- which was *never* a word that fit me my whole life even when I was in shape, and is because of medications and no lifestyle change-- constantly are talking about my body and how lucky I am and jealous of that etc. Now I don't think that impedes my ability to make friends with them at all! But it is interesting that I feel defensive, like this isn't something I want. But when you asked would you choose to give it up? I paused into myself, but the real answer was no. You made me think, thank you!

[@fiona2206]

Great video and very valid points

[@rose.k24]

I, similar to you recently lost quite a lot of weight. I'm also part South Asian, and as I've gotten older, my skin has become lighter. Both come with negatives, I'm certainly harassed more - even as as I've gotten older, and sunburn has become more of a concern haha But overall, more people have been willing to do me favours, give me handouts, men suddenly give me positive attention rather than only ignoring me, and I've landed my dream job, even though I applied a few years ago unsuccessfully, and my qualifications haven't changed. Yes, my confidence is higher - but overall, its a kinder world when you're thinner and lighter in skin tone.

[@nikkionyx1926]

I wouldn't say I have pretty privilege but I take care of myself, wear make up, workout etc & girlfriends treat me differently!!! It's as if they don't want to hang out because they are insecure. Idk they treat the less conventionally attractive person in the group the best despite all her mistakes. Kind of like being the overweight girl being the most popular & people wanting to hang out with them or go out with them places to boost their confidence in a twisted way. It's the opposite. I find it easy to be written off because i look different. It brings out people's insecurities on a subconscious level.

[@dachshund5340]

I experience this too. Especially in work environments

[@g_willow]

Me over here not understanding because I didnt see anyone on that show that wasn't "conventionally " attractive

[@Lafilledlapluie]

Right 😂

[@jewelmiller6367]

Thank you 😂 every single one of these people on the show was attractive. I’m so confused of these comments

[@678tanesha]

Facts 👏

[@bladeowens]

EXCELLENT topic!!!! I remember when I dropped 100 pounds. My lane quickly changed and it made me soooo angry