PRIDE with Donna Sachet // On Guard Ep 6

[@robertbender73]

Donna is an amazing community contributor. Just what she has done for The Imperial Court is more than most people do in a life time.

[@Icprince2004]

My 1st Pride Parade was 1980. I lived in Vallejo at the time and frequented OUR BAR on Solano since I lived ABOVE it! We had a Silver 1968 Mercedes convertible with OUR BAR, Vallejo Calif. on the sides. I walked on the side of the vehicle and Miss Vallejo was in the back seat on the tucked hood. I was GOB SMACKED ! to see so many groups and orgs and floats!!! I was in each one since that until 1996 when I stopped. 1997 - 2002, I was on the Pride Board (again) and was Backstage Manager for Main Stage. OH THE STORIES!!!!

[@dieskoboyland7065]

Thank you for this educational hour. As a black gay man I welcome knowledge in our community. Unfortunately their is still division in the community and lack of respect for subcultures. We should work harder to support and honor each other as well as protect transgender and queer women. The five panelists did an outstanding job opening up, sharing moments and letting us in to some special events y’all have experienced. Thank you! Graylin you will always be a bright light in my life! The respect you have and always has for The Leather Community is beautiful!

[@thomaswright7270]

I wish I could get this kink of conversation more often. thank you all

[@winfieldfelder771]

Thank you all for this panel discussion.At first I was feeling some kinda way,but once the conversation started I was keyed in nearly every word.We as gay/queer folk still have a long way to go,but as Ms.Donna said it starts with conversation and more importantly listening.#ForAbetterUS 🏳️‍🌈

[@MeMyselvesandPharaoh]

I am an aromatic asexual, and I appreciate Amp challenging Graylen on his comments about asexuals, and I thank Graylen for listening. I hope you will read this. I'm not going to argue that asexuals are gay, because some of us are and some of us are not. However, I don't think that means we don't belong in the queer community or at pride. Graylen, your argument was that no one has been beaten up for being ace, and while I don't think that being oppressed is what should define queerness, it's more important to point out that it's patently false that asexuals don't experience violence for their orientation. A large-scale scientific study showed that people see asexuals as less human than gays and bisexuals (and of course straights). You all know that dehumanization leads to violence. Emerging studies show that many asexuals have faced corrective rape and sexual assault. Additionally, a lot of asexuals, including myself, have faced conversion therapy. There is at least one public case of a girl coming out as asexual and being murdered by a boy she rejected that weekend. Her family got angry at the asexual pride Instagram that had shared her story (which she, herself, submitted) trying to deny their daughter's identity, which might be a familiar story, especially for older gay men. Additionally, Christians believe that being asexual is abhorrent and that we're broken. I was told to my face that no catholic priest would ever marry me because it wouldn't be a godly marriage. Please don't think, that I am playing at oppression olympics. I am very aware of the extensive history of violence and discrimination faced by the gay community. I simply wanted to counter your point. I hope one day you see that you have more in common with non-gay asexuals than you might think. Being asexual is inherently outside of the heteronormative dynamic. Also, there are aces in the kink community ;) When I was a teenager, spent time around the LGBT community as an ally because I knew I didn't fit in with the allo cishet people either. It was my queer college friends, who helped me find a community. If you took the time to read this, thank you.

[@kadiechaos6171]

I came here to say something similar to this, but you found such good words for it, thank you!! As an asexual panromantic white cis woman in central Europe, I know that I am very much privileged in almost every term. But at the same time a lot of that comes from, on the outside, being straight passing. The older I become, the more this feels like a cage that I never signed up to be in. But these days I feel more comfortable telling people I am pansexual and single, than trying to explain what asexual panromantic means, because of the whole ‚broken, not attractive enough, frigid‘ stereotype that comes with it and constantly being questioned and belittled by being told ‚just wait for the right partner to come along‘. When I was younger, I had internalised for years that that all was the case until I found AVEN and realised that my self perception is valid. So yes, I will very likely face less violence on the streets, but that doesn’t mean that us asexuals are not part of the community, and hearing these comments on the podcast/episode really hurt. Thank you for reading!

[@OnGuardCigarSalon]

This is exactly the reason Graylin is so very important for the show and these discussions. You may not like his views, but they are equally as valid and probably represent how the majority of our generation truly feels at times. So it's very important to listen to and try to understand this perspective. Our generation can be pretty set in their ways and resistant to change, shaped by the experiences of our past, but we can be open to new things if presented in a nonjudgemental way. That's what this entire show is all about.

[@MeMyselvesandPharaoh]

@@OnGuardCigarSalon Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my message. I enjoy learning about queer history from this channel and even share it with my friends. I agree that it's important to understand different perspectives in our community. First, I would like to apologize for mispelling Graylin's name; I looked in the info box but it didn't have his name written out. Second, I hope that you don't think I was attacking Graylin in any way as that was not my intention, and I apologize if he felt attacked. I simply wanted to provide information and perspective as an aromantic asexual person. If I came off as intense instead of respectful, it is only because this issue is so close to my heart. As I am sure you can imagine, it hurts to hear the pain of myself and my community casually dismissed. Nevertheless, I didn't intend to attack or attempt to 'cancel' someone, only to give information that I felt was missing.

[@MeMyselvesandPharaoh]

@@OnGuardCigarSalon Perhaps it would be interesting for you to have, for instance Ace Dad (Cody Daigle-Orians, AceDadAdvice on youtube), who is an older ace man on your show and to discuss with him.

[@101spacemonkey]

@@OnGuardCigarSalon it was good to see it challenged. Ace people have faced so called corrective rape and at times conversion therapy and we are very much a part of the community

[@EPanser]

As a child (31 years old) it makes me so happy to see you guys have these conversations, coming from different places, not always agreeing but always listening to eachother, respecting eachother and saying everything from a place of love. Being from «the internet generation» where ego and hate so often fronts the conversations it is so refreshing to listen to you guys ❤️ Never stop doing what you are doing ❤️

[@frostyskeletons8950]

I love how informative this show is

[@thiel_spencer]

So far my favorite way to define the bucket of what fits under the term "queer" was something I saw across one of my social platforms, I don't remember which exactly, that said if a straight person wouldn't understand what you mean when you describe who you are (or aren't) attracted to, sexually or romantically, than you fit in our community.

[@Swishy_Blue]

This wise royal vibe is such a ray of sunshine on this cloudy nw day!

[@gordonadams4793]

Please bring Donna back often. I believe she is an underutilized voice

[@SanjayPulver]

Trans Leatherman from San Diego here, I definitely have that feeling about the conversations around Pride. I proudly walked with the Leather contingent the last 2 years (prior to Covid) but I was aware we were towards the end of the lineup both times.

[@joecoloff4247]

Love this one

[@erikkelsch4325]

My first pride was in S.F. back in 1990's, I was in my twenties. It was awesome to be seen and part of a community. This was an awesome conversation and history lesson. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

[@101spacemonkey]

It would be interesting to have a session where you discuss asexuality more fully. Especially challenging the idea asexual people don't have sex. Not hurt my hearing those thoughts. I hear them a lot within the community but I think it is a potential opportunity to have a more indepth discussion

[@eamonnwalker4512]

Amp did do a video on his own demisexuality on the WTS channel a while back, but yes, I would be very interested in watching them explore the topic more. Someone else mentioned Ace Dad, who could be a very interesting guest if it's possible. I am certain the kink and ace communities have a lot more in common than they probably think they do.

[@pablo0916]

This was an excellent enlightening discussion. Very informative and I learned a few things too. Thank you for this kind of information which is needed. ❤❤❤

[@ellie-1678]

Hey guys and Ma'am ... In Auckland, New Zealand we split our event after the organisers banned cops in uniform and lost alllllllll govt and commercial funding. We ended up with the separate protest pride march and later a group came back with the pride parade as a separate event. The March is a protest the parade is a celebration.

[@mollyn03]

I'm bisexual and demisexual - of the two, being on the a-sexuality spectrum has in some ways been the hardest for me. I did not fully understand my sexuality for a long time, because I didn't view my (very strong) romantic attraction towards women as being a valid form of attraction. Being demisexual also caused me a great deal of isolation, as my boundaries and expectations around sex were different to most of my peers and I didn't have the language or self-awareness to be able to explain this. Even so, if I am in queer spaces I identify as bi first, rather than as demisexual, because I don't think I will be accepted in the space or taken seriously if my first allegiance is to being on the asexual spectrum rather than my experience of same sex attraction. Although I have some online communities which have been a huge support, I do not know anyone in my area who identifies as any kind of a-sexual and this is not uncommon. It can be excruciatingly lonely and I often feel that I do not fit in anywhere at all. A shout out to Graylin for his contributions to this discussion, though. It's really good to hear view points from a range of different people and I feel particularly privileged that we are able to hear the views of someone who has been involved in the queer scene as a black man for such a long time. Graylin saying that he (and other queer people of colour) don't feel welcome at pride is a really important message - one that I think has been overshadowed a bit in the comments re his views on ace inclusion, which is a shame, especially as there are many black people who also identify as being on the ace spectrum. Whatever anyone's views on ace inclusion in the queer community are (and I personally think they should be) it's essential that queer people of all ethnicities are actively welcome, given platforms to speak should they wish to do so, and listened to.

[@Miss_Lexisaurus]

Still so relevant!

[@CarlosAugustoViana-nv2oi]

I love you ❤❤my friend ❤❤

[@mikepierce3801]

I agree that we need to come together and find a common thread. Often things devolve into the "oppression Olympics."

[@hannahhansen3005]

Only been to 2 prides. But they were lovely family friendly with lots of young Queer kids having a safe space. Who knew Wisconsin? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@DungeonMistressC]

I type this all with respect, because I love the conversation and the content, but the idea that Asexuals being not queer enough for Pride- I’m Bi, and understand I have the privilege of “passing” in straight culture, and because of that Bi, Pan, Omni, Ace, Demi- all of those experience erasure and exclusion from the Gay/Lesbian side of Pride. While, yes I can hide my attraction to the same sex, I shouldn’t have to. People shouldn’t have to prove how queer they are to be part of Pride. And, as I shouldn’t have to hide my attraction to the same sex, I shouldn’t have to hide my attraction to the opposite sex. I also don’t love the commercialization and the inauthenticity of what Pride is shifting to. But, we do need more allies, feeling excluded is why the community threw bricks to begin with. Also, kink is part of Pride. Ass is ass, all genders are beautiful

[@whatalias]

Graylen not the only person that thinks that. I have talked to so many people that think that. I definitely don't feel welcomed in the community. Really really tired of explaining it to people. I have already started to hide like I did with my ex and force out the fake me out.

[@nlw4755]

I agree with Graylen , I appreciate all of you and And thank you for your service :)

[@julianatheis5556]

You’re not being cancelled because you’re one of the heros, but sir. Asexual people (it’s me, hi), are 100% part of this community. We have self hate, we are discriminated against. Yes, may be in a different form then somebody who is gay is, but that subtle hate can be so much more harmful because it’s so hard to fight against. Not to mention, it is 100% possible to be ace and gay, and especially ace and kinky (and we can have sex)

[@robertdwhite1991]

I know I commented this on a watts the safeword video but it might fit better here can you guys talk about polari

[@silkedavid8876]

I am asexual but I do not feel I am part of the letter soup. One, it is no-one's business outside my very personal circle. It does not affect my day to day life. If you're gay, it does affect day to day life. At one point, if you have a same sex partner, it will cause a problem in every day life, you are different. As a hetero ace, it does not affect my day to day life in a discriminatory way, like it would for a homosexual couple.

[@rogper7039]

Que guapo kristopher i love you smoking cigar

[@jeremywhitner2302]

I’m all for corporations being involved but they definitely need to be doing the work…otherwise it’s just rainbow capitalism

[@Skelly3D0]

As a younger queer person (21) i really appreciate you all spreading your wisdom and talking about the topics you cover. However, i always find myself disagreeing or being frustrated with something that Graylen says and i think he has some really outdated and harmful views that he sometimes expresses. No, Ace people aren't Gay (inherently). Same as Trans people aren't Gay and Bi people aren't Gay and Intersex people aren't Gay. But they ARE queer, they ARE LGBTQ+, they ARE part of our community and deserve to be at Pride with us all, together. I think that his idea of Pride being Gay is outdated and he needs to update his understanding of Pride, its for our entire community including everyone under our umbrella. We're all part of marginalised communities and the meaning of Pride is to come together and stand as one LGBTQ+ community, not just the Gays. Theres a whole lot more than just G in the acronym. Saying someone's queer identity shouldn't be included because of how oppressed you think they are is really harmful and highlights how uninformed you are about their struggles, because you don't seem to think they have ENOUGH to be included. Anyone thats outside of the Cis-Het "normal" that doesn't harm others belongs at pride. I'm very glad you took the time to listen during this episode, I really love the show and what you all bring to the table. Thankyou all again.

[@OnGuardCigarSalon]

This is exactly the reason Graylin is so very important for the show and these discussions. You may not like his views, but they are equally as valid and probably represent how the majority of our generation truly feels at times. So it's very important to listen to and try to understand this perspective. Our generation can be pretty set in their ways and resistant to change, shaped by the experiences of our past, but we can be open to new things if presented in a nonjudgemental way. That's what this entire show is all about.

[@anonymousme1739]

Left side of street will be nude right side will be camera friendly.....?maybe that can work....naked ppl can party on left side of floats and walk on left side of floats to be out of camera frame on right side if u can picture 📸 what I'm imaging