Proceed with Caution: The Trad Wife to Poverty Pipeline is Real

[@prihaps]

BIGGEST red flag is when a husband doesnt put his wife on the title. I was 2 years married and 3 years jobless due to permeable disability when we bought our first home. When we were closing, he asked them to put me in the title of the home along side him. He did this never expecting me to work. Also if he dies, I get his military pension and $500k cash. He has made sure I’m protected no matter what happens. He has also pushed and supported me to go back to school even if I fail to get a or keep a job. 7 years married now and I started working again this past December. He has spent thousands of dollars in getting me the things I need so I can work with my disability bc he just wants me to feel financial safety if anything were to happen. A good man will encourage and facilitate your journey to independence.

[@morighani]

good for you!! this!! a good mature man who ACTUALLY cares about his children and you will not ever put you in the precarious situation of solely depending on him. These wives need to be on the mortgage, the other assets, pension plan, their own bank accounts with a consistent allowance and savings, and a prenup that will ensure they are set to take care of the children should the man act up, and encourage you to keep up your skills and education throughout the relationship. anything less is abusive and ignorant

[@ariettej4271]

That’s amazing, kudos to you and your husband! ❤

[@jsChelimo]

that means that he saw you as his partner and not a slave. When a sahm is a partner in her marriage and not a slave, she will have access to marital assets and $$$

[@oxytoxic7006]

👌👌👌

[@thepragmatist]

Agree. All the best to both of you.

[@joylastname3035]

I once saw a comment that said, "Men want a stay at home wife till they find out she stays at home." I've seen a number of cases where the man insisted he wanted the wife to stay home and be with the kids and then turn around to tell her she contributes nothing to the household and is a freeloader. My former colleague who worked 2 jobs told me it happened to her. After she had a baby, her husband insisted she stay home and he would pay all the bills. She even got offered her old job back, and he told her not to take it. She said barely 6 months in, and he started complaining that he's the only one paying all the bills and the verbal abuse started. Men feel its their right to withhold money, but women should not withhold the free labour they're doing for the entire household.

[@Lilzki]

They don’t place any value on the 24/7 job that is a stay at home mom, not even the actual pregnancy and child birth. And they so easily blow up and get angry, it’s scary.

[@Chillikilli]

​@Lilzki yeah it's really alarming how alot of men in 2024 still think pregnancy amd childbirth is easy. And alot of them still have that 1950s mindset that postpartum doesn't affect women.

[@Erintii]

They call women willing to stay at home gold diggers and have theories about hypergamy. What are they expecting? It is pricy to be the breadwinner of a family.

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

A lot of men just hate women.

[@SA-ey6nt]

​@@Erintiithey're just projecting their self hate on women.. Literally dangerous

[@lacey892]

Like a wise older woman once told me... 'If you give someone the ability to feed you, you give them the ability to starve you.'

[@raya74]

100%

[@mikilunae5707]

Unless a lawyer was involved from the start.

[@351528]

The rate at which men abandon their wives after she's received a diagnosis of cancer or another serious illness is sickening.

[@marlenemontooth9926]

For too many men, "in sickness and in health" only applies to *her* taking care of *him*.

[@Starlene24]

​@@marlenemontooth9926👏🏻

[@theboyisnotright6312]

Honestly from what I've seen, it's a wife abandoning the sick husband. Either way it's rotten😢.

[@acaicadunkley792]

​@@theboyisnotright6312Either way is sickening and both do it, but there's research saying it's mainly men leaving sick wives

[@kittygumdrop7442]

​@@theboyisnotright6312Yeah, it's not just the men doing that. It's sad.

[@milkandhoney84]

They need to criminalize abandoning a woman and 5 kids like they crminalize abortion. Dna tests at bitth b and automatic child suppprt orders against the fathers needs to be a law. They want the death penalty for women who terminate pregnancies? Same penalties for men who abandon their families for other women (or men).

[@gina72916]

Exactly 💯

[@stephaniewilson4164]

I don't understand how he was able to do that to her with 5 kid without paying any kind of spousal or child support when he's making good money? The court should have at least made him pay for an apartment for 12-18 months until she got on her feet.

[@rtphotos4691]

​@@stephaniewilson4164- I've heard of men hiding their wealth so they wouldn't have to pay for the families they wanted and created after stepping out on them.

[@LadyAthena45]

​@@stephaniewilson4164I heard from a previous video, he was ordered, just didn't pay

[@TheFabulousLV]

👏👏👏

[@lindsayD1995]

She’s makes a great point. These women making videos are NOT traditional wives. You’re working on the Internet. You take all that time to look good, set the camera up, edit the videos, and post. She’s also right about how these videos are not for women but for men.

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

They are selling trad corn to a male audience.

[@lindsayD1995]

@@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sfIt is like a form of cosplay fetish fantasy. 🤢

[@wonderingmind8547]

Also, there is no way they have kids if they can do all that. Children take a lot to care for and they never leave you alone.😂 I see this with my sister and she only has ONE. My sister and her daughter are at home most of the day and my niece doesn't like to be alone without interaction. So, if my sister steps out just to use the restroom or get something to drink, she'll start making noise. That's how I know Estee or Esme has no children and only has to clean up after herself and her husband. She better enjoy these days, because one day she won't even have time to brush her teeth in the morning, let alone her hair.

[@universal5313]

right they are just influnencers

[@pbm1645]

This. ✋✋✋ people need to understand They ARE working women😭😭😭

[@helena3631]

Men are loyal to their needs and wants...women need to wisen up

[@ragsrare3771]

They never care about family or children, that is their nature, look at the male animals.

[@moreni2nd405]

Exactly 💯

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

Men are loyal to what THEY themselves want. Not the well being of their wives and children.

[@livethatlife1830]

This is a very good topic to talk about.

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

Yup men will choose themselves every time. Every single time

[@Lysistrata2025]

If their are no provisions for when he is disables, cheating or dead, this man is no real provider.

[@suzannaflores1164]

Simply and profoundly put, thank you.

[@BookofJohn3V8]

I literally was just saying this. 1 Timothy 5:8

[@shanelchamik2177]

My father said, no man will love you enough to finance you fully no matter how many chores you or how much you make. Always make some money for your self even a coin is better than anything.

[@wLBlue]

That's horrible advice from a feminine man

[@72586jejones]

I agree with this. It's fun having your own spending money. My husband benefits from it too, cause I used most of my discretionary money on beauty things.

[@Zikomo7]

These TWs never discuss 401Ks, savings, investments, college funds for the kids, etc. Life is more than rent and nice purses.

[@lovefelix1566]

True

[@j.kaimori3848]

Many probably don't want their daughters to go to college to start with. 😢

[@rayoffuckingsunshine]

They're too stupid

[@IzzyChopChop]

If we are talking about traditional gender roles, then the reason why the "trad wives" don't bring up personal financial topics is because it is the TRADITIONAL ROLE OF MEN to take care of all the finances

[@Zikomo7]

@@IzzyChopChop but you should know what they are even if you don’t maintain them

[@_Amarin]

Any grown adult who insists on their grown adult partner being 100% financially dependent on them is objectively vile and a danger to society!

[@karineaghajanyan]

exactly, men who even ask for this are dangerous & actually don't give a damn about their wife's potential future, they are selfish & ego driven!

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​@@karineaghajanyanIt's purposeful. They intend to keep completely dependent and then ditch her later. It's all part of their plan.

[@mommalion7028]

I think it can be okay as long as it’s an offer (I’ll pay for everything) and not an obligation (you are not allowed your own bank account). My husband pays into my retirement account and I get a big chunk of his paycheck direct deposited in my own personal account, plus a smaller percentage into a secondary savings account. I also have a third account with stocks and whatnot I can sell off if I ever need a few thousand dollars fast. But yeah, anyone who expects you to trust them and for you to not have your own money is a 🚩

[@jellyfish_bubbles]

​@mommalion7028 what are you doing about the job force that you'll have to go into?? What jobs are you able to get with no experience??

[@Holisticallycarol]

Yes, a menace ...

[@BeautiDon]

I got into a big argument with my husband last year and he gave me 2 weeks to move out. Ever since then i moved in with my mom to finish my degress. That was the last time I'll ever live with a man or depend on one

[@BurbNBougie]

Damn. 2 weeks?! How long had y'all been together?

[@thepragmatist]

Exactly...It's so unfortunate but you never know. People can flip at any time.

[@BeautiDon]

@@BurbNBougie 3 years, married for 3

[@BeautiDon]

@@thepragmatist exactly!

[@NovaPrincess]

That's why women meed to buy their own properties. I no longer believe that co-owning property with a male is a flex. You might literally be in business (real estate) with a cheater, liar, or predator.

[@jayogee913]

I've spent most of my career in workplace that had lots of entry-level positions that did not require much experience, education, or networking (so very low-paying jobs), and I witnessed SO MANY women in their 40s, 50s, even 60s having to get a job for the first time in their adult lives because their husbands were done with them. They struggled, were depressed, shocked, scared. They thought they had it all figured out by the age of 22 by landing a man, getting married, and locking it all down with kids. They learned. I mean have kids if you want, but only do it for YOU and not anyone else if that's what you want. And never skip working and saving for yourself. edit: and those are interesting perspectives from the tiktoker's kids. Some of the most radical, far left feminists I know in my life are women who were raised in conservative households and were groomed to be submissive. I always found that to be an interesting phenomenon, that so many of these girls grew into very independent and open-minded adult women.

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

You ain’t lying.❤

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

There are videos of abandoned mansions, the narrator says the patriarch( not the word they use) died, and the family had to move. There are many sources backing up what you say. That is different from divorce, but women could still be stranded. Which doubles down the fact that women need to work, have their name on the accounts, loans, deeds, car titles, etc and have their own bank account.

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

These women might be able to hire a divorce lawyer to get more money. There is away to make the husband pay if he has a lot of money ..

[@pri.sci.lla.]

@@jjohnsengraciesmomthe problem is hire an attorney with what money? If he is rich he has his own attorney and some men will waste their money on court and lawyers rather than give it to their own family out of spite. I’ve see it myself.

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

These women need to go to an attorney and arrange to have the husband pay for the attorney. The fact they need to struggle is terrible.

[@cat8324]

My mum has lived for 20 years with a man who hits her, and when I asked her why she never leaves she said, "I have no work history, no bank account, no money, no education, mental health issues...what else am I supposed to do?" She's only 40 years old and feels like she has no future. Young women need to hear this because they are falling for a fantasy that will ruin their lives. It's not even good for the children because for years her sacrifice, the stress/depression that I saw in her, and the daily violence created a huge rift between us.

[@BurbNBougie]

That's wild that she's 40 and think she can't start over. I'm older than your mom and don't feel old or that life is remotely over. She's given up and that's sad.

[@annabellehe4307]

​@@BurbNBougienot really her fault depending on the severity of her mental health issues and lack of available treatment. U can only make so much progress with library books and therapy simulation websites

[@queenchiomaofficial]

That’s so sad. Very very sad. I’m 41 and to hear this about a woman who is one year younger than me is heartbreaking. I actually know someone who was going through the same thing but the moment she went back to studying and got a job - he stopped and now he’s the loser and she’s now the one who’s happy, successful, confident and who he bows to. I pray this happens to your mum too.

[@stimela1000]

I'm 42 and left my abuser at 40. Luckily I had some work experience and a degree. But it's been rough. Homeless with two kids is hard. And he's run up debt in both our names then declared bankruptcy so now I am on the hook for thousands that I didn't incur. But I am still liable. I'd hoped I would be able to give my kids a better life once we left but their father has made sure that will never happen. Then talks big to his family that he loves and misses his children. Reality is he doesn't care if he destroys them as long as he gets to carry on harming me.

[@SirenASMR_]

Women are not marring and not have kids anymore … only the uneducated ones are doing this

[@ManUntdForever]

My heart broke when she said he put her essential oils account in his name 💔

[@thecozyconstellation]

not the EOs! :(

[@swkrissie]

Typical move for a man like that. He saw she was making money, and that scared him. Financial autonomy isn't something those men want their wives to have.

[@dharma6481]

I’m 60 and this trad wife shit is disturbing. When I was a teen in the 70’s so many women were newly divorced, with 4+ kids, STRUGGLING. Working as cashier or home daycare, children in rags and hungry. All my friends KNEW we needed education, careers and financial independence. These young ladies are delusional. They have seen their mothers working and decided they don’t want that life. They have no idea what they are signing up for.

[@nancyflusa9992]

I saw the double burden of childcare, housework plus a FT job that would not support a family on working mothers too back 70s-80s. Not for me.

[@dfya3294]

I think the problem is that alot of the young people especially young ladies are kind of not prepared & scare of the real world especially growing up during a pandemic & the digital world. I'm in my late 20s & I remember being scare but I went straight to college because school was all I know even though I really didn't know what to major in right away but I did figured it out. They think that being a sahm & depending on a man is an option to give them more time to figure it out. The young men wants someone to be like a mother while they goof off & try to figure it out too. However, we all know that it doesn't end well & they get stuck.

[@Erintii]

​@@dfya3294 You made excellent points. I read comments on some right wing channels, from educated women who left jobs to stay at home. They often mentioned they were stressed at school, stressed at work working for a boss. Now they work not for a boss who can laid them off, but for a loving family. Someone is providing for them, someone is paying bills, someone is making decisions while they are cleaning house, listen to babies smiling and cooing and are happy. No commute to job, no stress, no responsibilities, no hard choices to be made. Sounds blissful, until something happens to provider. Or provider gets tired of house and kids centered wife. They will not find a job with years outside a job market, outdated skills and kids. They feel something is wrong as they call themselves house managers and accountants. They are not. They are housewives: unemployed from a job market and pension point of view.

[@Erintii]

@@dfya3294 You made excellent points. I read comments on some right wing channels, from educated women who left jobs to stay at home. They often mentioned they were stressed at school, stressed at work working for a boss. Now they work not for a boss who can laid them off, but for a loving family. Someone is providing for them, someone is paying bills, someone is making decisions while they are cleaning house, listen to babies smiling and cooing and are happy. No commute to job, no stress, no responsibilities, no hard choices to be made. Sounds blissful, until something happens to provider. Or provider gets tired of house and kids centered wife. They will not find a job with years outside a job market, outdated skills and kids. They feel something is wrong as they call themselves house managers and accountants. They are not. They are housewives: unemployed from a job market and pension point of view.

[@Erintii]

@@dfya3294 You made excellent points. I read comments on some right wing channels, from educated women who left jobs to stay at home. They often mentioned they were stressed at school, stressed at work working for a boss. Now they work not for a boss who can laid them off, but for a loving family. Someone is providing for them, someone is paying bills, someone is making decisions while they are cleaning house, listen to babies smiling and cooing and are happy. No commute to job, no stress, no responsibilities, no hard choices to be made. Sounds blissful, until something happens to provider. Or provider gets tired of house and kids centered wife.

[@livethatlife1830]

When I was 26 I had my second daughter, I thought I could handle staying at home like my mom. I did everything a stay at home mom did. I was bored as hell! I was used to working and having my own money. I was balancing my ex check book, and making sure everything was being taking care of. All that changed when he developed a gambling problem. He started getting mad, and asking me where the money went. I told him he knew he lost his money to gambling. I gave him his check book back and went back to work when our daughter was 8 months old. He got upset and said, " I thought you would wait until the baby was a year to go back to work". We never had that conversation, but I told him I cant depend on him financially and I wasn't going to put my life or my children life in his hands.

[@katherines144]

Good for you! I love reading stories about smart women making decisions like this. Helps me take better care of myself ❤

[@queenchiomaofficial]

Well done. I think you did the right thing. ❤

[@zitronentee]

Exactly that being trad wife is actually a luxury

[@trenae77]

My mom chose to stay home after my brother was born, but knew we would not survive on my father’s salary alone. Her solution? She started an at home daycare. Through the years growing up I watched her go to night classes to acquire CE credits to maintain her license. We had a housekeeper who came once a week on Fridays to help with a through cleaning of the home - not just to pick up after us. As I aged up I actually became involved as well - obtaining CPR/First Aid certification and qualifying as an assistant. It was a hard life, but it was fulfilling for her and us.

[@PlayerTenji95]

@@trenae77that’s wonderful! I’m glad that worked out for y’all!

[@SincerelySandcha]

In college i would babysit for some higher middle class families. One family which i love and still stay in contact with would go out with a couple in their neighborhood. Valentines day comes and i was scheduled to come over to watch the kids but a few minutes before i headed over they cancelled and said it was an emergency. Two weeks later they called me to come. The wife said their couple friends was going through it. Apparently the husband, on V-day kicked his wife and her child (child from previous relationship) out of the house!!!! Im like what???? Yall had just gone out the night before. She was like yea, he woke up and said he doesnt love her anymore and need to get out of my house. Again, they were such a loving couple, that couple always stealing looks and kisses when they are out. So the woman was blindsided. They confirmed no cheating or anything, he just woke up and was done. I was shock!!!! She was a stay a home mom who took care of the house and did some bookkeeping at his business every now and then. So her whole life and her kid's was revolved around him. In two weeks he came crawling back but she quickly learned that she would have nothing without him and thanks to her making friends with the family i worked for they helped her and housed her. Its insane how quickly things turned and why its important to never underestimate what a man can do to a woman he knows doesn't have a plan b. Always have a plan b.

[@teralecole316]

And that is the true nature of a male. They are not to be trusted. Do you know how many times I’ve heard of stories like this where the guy woke up one day and wanted out? This even happened to me. It’s 100% male nature mixed in with cluster B disorder. Even Princella states that male nature IS disordered.

[@aureyd2515]

So many of those men are absolutely vicious about denying their wife and children any support at all once they've discarded them.

[@Nitra813]

He came crawling back to her because he knew he didn’t have a case against her. Never take back once they tell you how they really feel about you. He didn’t value her unpaid labor (like most husbands) but I guarantee he wanted everyone to value his paid labor. 🤨

[@darcy5761]

Always have some money of your own,because he can and will leave you and your children penniless and homeless without a second thought.

[@RoxxiWalker]

No he was definitely cheating lol but side piece didn’t want him so that’s why he came back. Plus- cheaper to keep her

[@TarynBell]

My mom became a SAHM about 20 years into her marriage to my dad. In the end she ended up divorced and having to become a credit card salesman agent to feed us. She clawed her way into a good job at a utility company. Now she drives a Mercedes Benz and she owns her own home and is remarried and in her new marriage she is 50/50 with my step dad. She really recovered but barely. I as her 18 year old daughter had to teach her how to turn the gas on at our new home. She knew nothing. I had to teach her how to not overdraft her bank account. She married my dad at 18 and knew nothing. I’m so proud of her and how she recovered amazingly but it was so painful and I even have trauma from it. She’s retired now. She was 45 with no retirement and made it happen in 15 years of work.

[@ashleykathryn9038]

Your mom is awesome!

[@persephonereborn]

Tell her to tell her story please! Women everyday are coming out of terrible marriages and need her inspiration. Stories change lives and what a wonderful story she has!

[@JustinMathew-c7g]

She man it because of the divorce of the first husband alimony and child support checks.

[@whatsamatteryou791]

That happened to me I was in your mother’s place. I did not know how to use a debit card, work a computer, or even pump gas using a card. I was frozen in time almost 19 years of past since I had been in the workforce or the world for that matter. I was only allowed to leave the house if he was with me and then eventually not at all the mental issues were real from that marriage. It took me years to overcome it, and I had to learn how to do everything very quickly that others already knew how to do, had to work four jobs at minimum wage just to make ends meet now. I have one good job and I’m doing OK but it’s 12 years out. Something else do not talk about my son. Does not speak to me as he is just like his father, I’m younger.2 and hope that they are proud of me for what I overcame.

[@latashalewis873]

Your mom is a rock star!❤

[@hey_itsmele]

Do the 20 somethings think they're NOT gonna age? And will probably be replaced by the new batch of 20 somethings. Mmmm

[@darcy5761]

Oh no it will never happen to me!

[@marykatherinemorris5048]

This is not how love is supposed to work. The goal is to grow old together

[@elaexplorer]

Nope, they think they'll be the exceptions.

[@TalkingWeirdStuff24]

I think that even if they could look 20 something forever, they'd still get dropped eventually: some people are attracted to the young age ITSELF, not just the young physical appearance. Also, as people get older they tend to become more confident and strong willed, also not something manipulators like. If you had a woman with the appearance of a 22 year old, but the life experience and personal development of a 52 year old, I doubt she'd be popular with cradle robber men either. Just my thoughts, though, I might be wrong.

[@hey_itsmele]

@@TalkingWeirdStuff24 I agree

[@Topself24]

A man is NOT a plan. Amen.

[@PlaywithDaisy]

They can be. Marry the right one, take his money and walk out with more than what you came in with. My aunt does this. She’s a millionaire. Just finished her last business with her 5th husband. He died and he left her another house in Australia and a vacation home in the Philippines and money. She has so many homes.

[@Topself24]

@@PlaywithDaisy 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔…interesting

[@Lee-ks1en]

Yea, your aunt’s life was an outlier, it is NOT the norm. Your aunt was lucky. It could have just as easily gone the other way.

[@randomCHELdad]

@PlaywithDaisy and she won't be able to take a single dime to Hell.

[@adriennedouke1880]

Nope, Nope, Nope, Got that right. 65 here, a man was never the plan for me. Thank God.

[@jenndesharnais6101]

My husband left us homeless twice! The second time I was done! He went to jail for abusing us, and the kids and I ended up homeless in a shelter. Now I'm in subsidized housing and no money. Take care of yourself first before marriage and children and don't rely on a man to take care of you. Protect yourselves ladies because most men won't.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

❤❤❤

[@senorita-qh6bm]

And that’s you that lives a country that has SOME safe guards I’ve heard about women in Mexico that find themselves in this exact situation only to have to resort to prostitution (in their 40s when they grew up Catholic I can’t imagine) only to get m*rdered by a “customer” and their children end up orphaned after their father left for a 19 yr old, it breaks my heart the pain that women have to go through because they trusted a man. Btw that was a real story and she had 4 to 5 children I can’t remember ❤rip beautiful loving woman you didn’t deserve the abuse or abandonment and did everything you could to protect your children 🤍

[@darcy5761]

Exactly!

You can rely on a man. You just relied on the WRONG man. You're passing on a trauma response. Not good advice

[@ecclairmayo4153]

@RianaAnais - There is too much evidence that tells us that there are a LOT of "wrong" men. There should be a surplus of good responsible men but it is not

[@dorkygirlsurvivalist3482]

It happened to my mom after almost 30 years of marriage when I was a teenager. She tried to go back to work before the marriage dissolved as my father talked ish about her not making money or doing anything even though she always had a part time job after we started school. She kept a part-time because he was financially abusive. He made fun of her for gaining weight even though he was much fatter. Made us believe she wasn’t very smart. She became ill and he finally left to be with one of the women he cheated with. I inherited responsibility for her until she passed last year. I couldn’t go away to college or do many other things. I balanced finishing college locally and it took twice as long as I had to work to take care of myself, my mom and for a while a younger sibling. My mom was very afraid of me getting married when I bought a house. She would say never tell a man what you own. My father wasn’t an asshole to begin with, he morphed into that person. My mom actually put him through school instead of herself. The plan was she would be the SAHM, but he hated her for it and it morphed into it being because she was dumb and useless. That said, my mom created a dependency on me. The weight was tremendous, financially and emotionally. She could have done more to take care of herself but chose to just let me rather than figure out how to renegotiate her life as my dad left my mom with nothing. She believed he would be fair and didn’t even get an attorney, it was his final scam.

[@thepragmatist]

I'm sorry you went through this and I give you A LOT of credit for supporting your mother. I really related to this sentence, "My father wasn’t an asshole to begin with, he morphed into that person." People change and at the start of a marriage, you have no idea what it's going to be like in 5 years, 10 years, etc.

[@marthas.4456]

@@thepragmatist - sorry I disagree with your notion about people changing.... No, people don't change. An a.hole is always an a.hole.... Dorkygirl's father was an a.hole all his life but this fact wasn't obvious to his family at that time, despite the namecalling and emotional abuse they suffered from him.... Also users and manipulators can hide their character and intentions really well at the beginning but the mask will slip eventually.... A good man with a sense of fairness would never do that to his wife, what he did.

[@rene3759]

@@thepragmatist people dont change they are revealed through life situations. it was always who he was it just wasnt needed to show it because he got what he wanted, used her to get through school, then made her stay at home and make her codepentent then leave her to suffer whilst he upgrades. i am sorry to say but this is too cliche and tactical to be "a sudden change". its hard to accept this but alot of men prey on women not just for sex but also for labour, emotional support and or finances. Men who prey usually do the "180 change" once they got what they wanted or dont feel like being nice is worthwile to get what they want anymore because she is not attractive to him anymore (wether that be looks, him wanting to cheat, her "challenging" him in some way as in he sees that he needed her to upgrade showing her power so he seems "emasculated"). YOu dont marry someone just because they are nice, or you find them attractive or love them, those are the cherry on top but as a woman you need to have cut throat discernment and learn to be wise. like any man who speaks ill of women, demands a woman be a stay at home wife, is not before even knowing you pro womens liberation and womens rights, men who have sexist attitudeds towards relationships between men and women aka "men need to be needed" women need men, they need providers etc. men like that base their masculinty on being able to be above women in some way and if they dont get to be they get resentful. also men who lack domestic skills and dont actively participate in domestic work are also a red flag.

[@Dahanaprince]

I’m sorry you experienced that 😢

[@yourbestam]

​@@rene3759 sometimes people change sometimes people reveal themselves...

[@karinaz8756]

Men claim they want a stay at home wife until there is a divorce. Then all of a sudden she’s a freeloader and all of the money is HIS when the wife wants half.

[@moremiaj4786]

Wow.... I was almost crying with that first woman's (jake's ex-wife) story. That was heart breaking. He abandoned her for a 19 year old. With nothing after she raised 5 of his children. May his Karma come full and hard. May Life BRUTALLY deal him a hand he will not see coming like a slap in the face.

[@humansvd3269]

I don't believe the story because court award women in divorce all the time.

[@serahloeffelroberts9901]

She should have gotten a good lawyer. In cases like this we always sent the bill to the husband. We always got a settlement for the mother and kids.

[@emmagatewood3898]

​@@serahloeffelroberts9901I was wondering why she didn't address that. She's legally entitled to half after so many years, a good lawyer should have been able to get her that.

[@Clevertechly]

A good lawyer costs money.

[@emmagatewood3898]

@@Clevertechly Yes, but her ex clearly had money. If she could show proof of that to a good divorce lawyer, why wouldn't they take her on and send him the bill, at least for the first few months of legal wrangling? The only reason I can think why they wouldn't is maybe he completely flushed ALL the money, like in the case of a severe gambling addict or a white collar crime Bernie Madoff type thing... And if that was the case, why not reach out to family or friends for help to hire a lawyer? I'm not criticizing her in any way, obviously I don't know the whole story. I'm just wondering why things went down the way they did. I was a sahm with two young kids when my ex blindsided me with divorce papers. I had zero access to the bank accounts or any money other than a small monthly allowance he gave me... I begged family and friends for help and was able to raise enough money for a retainer fee and hired a lawyer. It was embarrassing but I swallowed my pride and did it anyway. Thank God I did, because he would have absolutely destroyed me in court otherwise. My advice to any woman in this situation is to pull every string you've got to raise enough money to hire an experienced divorce lawyer. Not a personal injury lawyer or real estate lawyer that occasionally does divorces, hire a real family & matrimonial lawyer with good reviews. Pawn your jewelry or other valuables if you have to. Representing yourself in court is hard enough at any time, let alone at a time when you are feeling shell shocked and heartbroken. The consequences can be very dire for us and for our kids.

[@TheRoseAlchemist]

In my dark warped opinion, I seriously think these Gen Z "trads" are just making softcore content for men my dad's age to go off to. And guys their age to want to fantasize/try to recreate.

[@Iquey]

Yeah it's definitely larping for lewd boomers.

[@howboutno412]

This.

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

Oh, that's definitely what it is. I've been yelling it from the rooftops: This is a fetish. It's a kink, a fetish, a perversion. And that's FINE, I don't kinkshame. I'm just sick of this horseshit about how its a legit lifestyle or "movement".

[@Erintii]

Oh jeez you are right. This is made to get money from men. No one in sane mind will believe housekeeping and cooking can be done in such cloths. Those dressees will be soon damaged. High heels and kitchen is a safety alert.

[@tashibalampkin8555]

Naw. You right. You're absolutely correct.

[@LunatheLoungeSinger]

Side note she looks great at 50

[@merinajalaya740]

I agree like, woah she looks amazing!

[@Felicificfeline5]

Agreed!

[@alabaster2163]

It's called a filter...

[@ana-nim]

She looks fantastic!

[@Cynophileandavianenthusiast]

But she's using a filter, as is the first woman.

[@tamid2225]

I was a trad wife for about 5 years of our marriage. My ex husband made the decision and I did too reluctantly. However when his parents would ask why I wasn't working, he was cowardly telling them I was too lazy and wanted to stay home. He also had a massive spending problem. Even bouncing checks in the military. Eventually I had to work. The thing that these trad wives refuse to say is that people change,use alternative motives, etc. It's deceptive

[@liyahs1energy]

Exactly. “Marry a good man” really irritates me. As if all of these women went out of their way to marry obviously crappy men. People can be good one day an horrible the next. There’s cheating , abuse, addiction can develop etc. Or even get sick or pass prematurely!

[@tamid2225]

@@liyahs1energy Right?! It's greedy and irresponsible. This is peoples lives

[@Dhyaam5989]

@@liyahs1energy at this point I'm even afraid of marriage as everyone blames women for marriage gone wrong. Either it's her fault or its her fault for choosing wrong man. I didn't have excellent male role models and as such I could be choosing bad men despite knowing every red flags... sometimes they just hide better. I feel defeated sometimes coz family is my biggest dream but I don't think I'll have it.

[@Oldfarmlady]

It's an old ploy. Get them to stay home, no life, no income, no credit. Then the insults start and the cheating begins because they get bored with the sahm.

[@tamarbatyah7]

💯

[@ufuvjviufugigib7692]

I am a 37 year old single mom by choice, i build up my career for 10 years before have my baby And i never had struggle in make money for my family. Even when i got fired after The maternity leave i got a job 1 mounth later

[@TheVeggiekat]

He’ll say he cheated because he felt ignored. Sorry I was busy taking care of the kids he wanted to make but have nothing to do with caring for. If he felt so ignored and lonely maybe he could have helped me with the kids.

[@Galworld761]

“Never depend on anyone for the roof over your head or the food in your belly” - my dad, 1987. I love that man! Oh and my mom stayed at home and started part time at home business after we entered middle school

[@constancemercedes701]

I think we need to normalize leaving kids with their fathers when the relationship ends. One of the main reasons for female poverty is single motherhood, if the father is not abusive or a deadbeat then children should be left with them. Black men like to claim that fathers make the best parents, well ok then, they should become their primary day to day caregivers and the mothers can have weekend visitation.

[@ccannon1]

I say this all the time. But some of these women are with abusive men so leaving the kids isn’t really an option. *edit: I didn’t see where you said non-abusive fathers, my mistake

[@amberinthemist7912]

Most trad husbands are abusive jerks who won't properly care for children. They would most likely jump into a new relationship asap and put the kids at the mercy of a stepmom who doesn't like them. You don't get to make stupid decisions pretend to be helpless as an adult, bring kids into your disfunction and then abandon the kids you made to the jerk you picked. That's disgusting behavior.

[@neoloanderson6676]

You know they would expect their mum, sisters and aunties to look after the children 😢. I remember when my daughter used to joke about going to to live with her dad, I used to say go on then, he will last a couple of hours max 😂. They have a great relationship, so she could when he upgrades his house and gets her a room, but we'll see.

[@jacijune]

I agree.

[@Marz859]

Or let’s just normalize 50-50 custody since seeing either parent only on weekends is NOT healthy for the kids..

[@dianneyung111]

Mistake 1. Living your life by the whims and labido of a man. Epic fail always. A man is not a plan and never has been. How many examples do young women need in order to understand that?

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Grown women should start wearing shirts that say that: “a man is not a plan” and if enough women wear them, some young ladies are bound to notice and ask questions

[@darcy5761]

They're so sure it will never happen to them. And then it does.

[@tajakjejtam]

It's not the case that they don't listen, a lot of older women don't speak to younger about serious issues and problems in adulthood (like mother to kid). For example my mom never, ever did discuss with me relationship and what to watch out for. And so happened to many other girls I know. So the only way to find out was a home example and later - your own decisions.

[@elaexplorer]

They keep hearing about how great it is and every time there's a video like this they always say to themselves "well, that's her problem. She didn't pray hard enough. She didn't clean well enough. She didn't serve her husband well enough. That's not going to happen to me." They all think they're the exception to make this fantasy work.

[@trichmomma]

Everything she said was so true. 16 yrs a trad wife. 7 yrs post divorce I have 2 degrees and a cert but that 16 yr "work gap" is a wound that refuses to heal. I feel like Im being punished. Society didnt/ doesnt value the sacrifice, why push for it?

[@---Dana----]

You're not being punished by society and no one asked you to sacrifice yourself. You made decisions about your life and you're living with the consequences.

[@trichmomma]

@@---Dana---- push on and stay on Mars ma'am. We women know what society pushes. And they don't value it at all. Thats why none of the work we do for our families translates in the working world. Women like you make my ssa itch.

[@trichmomma]

@@---Dana---- go be ignorant somewhere else.

[@amiek9226]

“A wound that refuses to heal” That’s a great way of putting it. I’m still married. I was a SAHM for 20 years. I got a part time job, went back to school and finished my degree but that 20 year gap in my resume has proven to be a difficult barrier to overcome. I worked at retail jobs for years followed by a succession of temporary and part-time admin type positions. I’ve never lived up to my full earning potential.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Turn your experience as SAHM into a job description and describe the roles you played. Make your resume interesting to read. Being a SAHM is multiple jobs after all.

[@unanuevapecula]

Mary J Blige singing in my head as I watch this... 'I was your lover and your secretary Working every day of the week Was at the job when no one else was there Helping you get on your feet Eleven years of sacrifice And you can leave me at the drop of a dime Swallowed my fears, stood by your side I should've left your ass a thousand times' - Not gonna cry Waiting to Exhale soundtrack

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

Her ex-husband made out better than the women in this video from his divorce.

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

You don’t have to serve a man to be pretty and feminine. I’m childfree and single by choice. I have more time for hobbies because of this. I wear pretty clothes, do makeup as a hobby, knit, make toys for children, bake bread and write poetry.

[@Erintii]

True. And there are strong, feminine women like saint Olga of Kyiv. The orthodox church recognizes her as the equal to Aposlotes themselves.

[@suzannaflores1164]

This in my own way too!!!! Life is peaceful and I get to manage at my pace 😊

[@NiggiChaosClown]

Keep it up my lady. Single, virgin, 32 year old autist.

[@driley5004]

So many people judge me for the choice of not having children & im glad to see that there are more of me out there. Especially when people say that I don't really have any responsibilities just bc I don't have kids

[@misst5835]

Yep people forget that the childless are also an important and vital part of the village needed to raise a child. Thank you to all you cool Aunties and Uncles out there!

[@catsncrows]

I really think these women are catering to an audience of men that are publicly restricted from watching spicier content. They are the sears catalogue lingerie version of OF

[@Lysistrata2025]

This! Softcorn for the TranCon male demographic.

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

Girl 😂😂

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Knead that dough, baby, yeah!! 😅

[@kimdavis5403]

😂😂😂

[@kellharris2491]

You know what no joke I think you are right.

[@hellzbelle229]

I used to think I wanted this life when I was younger, it just never happened for me, so I went on about my business, went to school, worked, etc. While I am somewhat disappointed that I don’t have my own family, I can easily see the bullet I dodged. I don’t have some fabulous lifestyle, but what I have is mine and I can have it in peace. I don’t have to sacrifice everything about myself hoping to stay in a man’s good graces, knowing that everything I have is at his momentary whim. I can think of exactly ONE woman in my life that this worked out OK for. ONE! The rest have had their dream shattered either by divorce and abandonment, disability, or death. The odds are simply not in a “trad wife’s” favor.

[@Nitra813]

Peace of mind is the most underrated goal. So many lack peace in theirselves and relationships, married or not.

[@rebeccajordan4491]

Same. Our stories are very similar.

[@lalac7207]

I did the stay at home mom for a few years during my failed marriage. 😐I realized that ain't for me. I like making my own money, being independent, showing my kids that they can overcome any obstacle thrown their way and most of all my peace. F that trad wife shii.

[@vonnii1013]

This!!! Thank u cause I felt the same as well as I never felt marriage was for me

[@sineadiloveyou]

If it's not for you great. It works fine for others.

[@livethatlife1830]

​​@@sineadiloveyouwhy are you in your feelings over that comment? She stated that staying at home wasn't for her. You must didn't read.

[@OGK-1414]

​@@sineadiloveyoufor now

[@Aquariusly_QNatti]

@@livethatlife1830right it’s like she didn’t watch the video or read the comment 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

[@Meow-Meow501]

Best statement in this was that “trad wife TikTok content is Cosplay.” Facts

[@dakotadoyle8865]

Also, I would like to add that it did not work for most people's grandma's to be "trad" wives the way most of these women think. I have worked in an assisted living, and the stories that some of those women could tell you would make any woman think twice before becoming financially dependent on a man. The majority did not lice glamorous lives, they SURVIVED.

[@BigRedShadevil]

Weird how these trad wife content creators think their husbands will live forever and always be smitten by them. Their husbands go out every day and work with other women. Some of those women are attractive and intellectually challenge him. Do they think talking about what she and the kids did that day is going to keep him interested?

[@MalesAreDemons]

Most cheat I see it in my workplace marriage a joke and a scam!! Married men cheat the most!!!

[@ragsrare3771]

These men loves women who goes against what they like, men they say they like something, but they actually like the opposite, these men cheats with type of women they criticises the most, I see it all and refuse to be on any side of this.

[@sineadiloveyou]

Lmao bold of you to assume that's all they talk about. Also a lot of women save money and know how to make a living.

[@crestfire8008]

Look at the corn search for these trad husbands. It's everything they hate - "milfs" (so much for women over 30 being unattractive), "goth girls" (so much for hating on peircings, tattoos, dark make up) etc. They don't search for "goody two shoes housewife"

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​@@sineadiloveyouSo give me a list of things that trad wives discuss with their husbands. Also, a list of scx acts that they are willing to perform to keep him interested.

[@Erintii]

Tradwife live is like a follow-up to classical fairy tale. Beautiful wife, perfect husband and kids. Life without struggle, without responsibilities just happy time with kids, cooking and making love to a prince charming. It can work till the moment it no longer works.

[@inabina2925]

Without responsibilities? Funny how, for women, childcare, cooking, cleaning, laundry, event planning, kid appointments, and mental load are considered free time. For men, free time is video games and watching football. Don’t fall into this sexism trap just because trad wives on social media are awful.

[@jennpul1015]

😅🤣😂 ikr. And some of these women look down on women who work and are not married, only to find themselves in the future in homeless shelters with children, being without the skills to find a job, and being too old to attract another prince charming

[@Erintii]

@@jennpul1015 they look down, call awful names unmarried women, working moms etc. Adult who 100% rely on other adult with their life, finances, future and all, can have very rude awakening. Staying at home with kids is extremely risky and benefits male ego. And even if they find a prince charming who respects them and loves them, still prince charming can lose a job or get sick. Families living on one income, but with bunch of kids, are rather unlikely to have savings to let them survive few months without an active income. Even if they don't go out, don't go on holidays and cook from scratch they cannot save more. It was only for 1950s middle class possible, to leave peacefully on one income. For most of us, during most of times second income was a must not a choice. But they want a fairytale not a reality.

[@adinaknorr9460]

😮Yikes that sounds like a Nightmare to me!

[@adinaknorr9460]

Men are so EFffd in the head. Why do most of them have this 1950s housewife fantasy? It's like they all saw this old camercial or show with a Character like this pretty pin up wife/mom and now it's ingrained in their head for life that this fake woman is what they want. Maybe they got brainwashed by some American TV😵‍💫⚠️ It's just a cheezy bad sitcom that will never be forgotten. Like I dream of Genie🧞‍♀️ or the Blonde Witch 🧙one. Hey All u Men that was a show! Not Reality⚠️

[@mamasplayinhookie3131]

Traditional wife? You mean working your ass off to put them through uni and get traded in for a newer model once they get established?

[@nightwishisthegreatestband6355]

Yup!

[@Jujubean9795]

Exactly. Kids and all are getting dumped once he starts making real money. The only folks growing old together and women and kids.

[@cindychristian1700]

A woman financial advisor I saw on Oprah had an example of a lady who put her husband through school, had a couple of kids, and was married for a little over a decade. He left her, and they divorced! The advisor told her, with kindness and humor,"Just say to yourself, dummy, dummy, dummy! You made a mistake putting him through school, but now it's time to face reality and start taking care of yourself!" She advised her to look at her skills to see where she could go from there! Her message to all women was to never put a man through school! Put yourself through school!!

[@kittykatz4001]

Betty Broderick?!? Hello?!??

[@iamme7664]

THIS

[@maam-yj8ph]

It annoys me so much when people talk about finding "fulfillment" in being a wife and mother. Most of us are just trying to survive, and investing in our ability as a young person to attract a rich husband is very risky. A career is not about fulfillment, it's about survival and offering a skill set that will give you a career above minimum wages.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

I think it’s very sad that our government has made life so difficult that most people, men and women, are simply in pure survival mode in an allegedly first world country.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

Also one’s priorities often change as one gets older

[@lillierose5304]

That sounds so exhausting. Makes me wanna check out lol

[@darcy5761]

These young women don't realize that being a trad wife means being on call 24/7 365 no time off. He works 8 hours a day 5 days a week,then comes home and expects her to take care of him 'cause he's tired. Especially if she's also raising ( and home schooling ) multiple children. It never ends. These cutesy trad wife creators have staff that do all the actual work. Most of them are also wealthy but they don't tell you that.

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

I’m single and never have been married. I’ve seen these stories play out in real life as a child, teen and young woman. Women alway ended up getting played every single time! That’s why it’s important for women to have their own money, a job and a plan B-Z.

[@jennpul1015]

Women get played over sometimes. Not every single time! Pessimistic thoughts lead to depression. I do believe that all women should have some sort of personal financial stability, but not all men take advantage of their dependent wife.

[@avril.227]

@@jennpul1015 But are you willing to take that chance? Personally. I’m not that privileged.

[@jennpul1015]

@@avril.227 did you miss the part where I said that women should have some sort of personal financial stability??? I swear some people can only see the negative things in life

[@endlessstudent3512]

I also know men who got played by women. Not on the same level (we have two divorce lawers in my family with lots of experience....they say it is a 85/15 ratio...88% of men get a newer model and try to screw over the wife and 15% of women who do it the other way around. I know that is not a statistic, but I think their experience is a pretty good basis.

[@alexishill3342]

I think Trad wife content is popular because it's fantasy. People really love fantasy. I've not met a man to this day who wasn't looking for me to use my skills and assets to take care of him. But it's fun to fantasize about men being good and faithful stewards and also kind so a woman can be who she wants to be, but it's not the world we live in.

[@katherines144]

I think you're right. It is another form of escapism. Young women wanting and wishing we all lived in a better world. But we don't and it will never change without facing reality

[@queenchiomaofficial]

Yes I think it’s a fantasy too. It’s glamorised by some of these TikTok trad wives - they don’t show the ups and downs only the highlights.

[@skadi6750]

Freedom is a lot of work. The actual freedom. They dont want the 9-5 job, I get it. What they dont realize is I may be bound in an office a lot of the time, but when I want to, I can just stand up, take a vacay, go to Island or Norway, for which I can pay myself. I can just go with my friend. I dont need to wait for my husbands approval and funds. And if we ever separate, half the appartment is mine, no questions asked. And I have my own investment funds for retirement. Thats...kinda handy...:-D

[@alexishill3342]

@skadi6750 I agree. Autonomy and Independence are very important in relationships. It's not realistic to vest complete trust in anyone as people are subject to change in many ways, especially concerning how they feel about those whom they're in relationships with.

[@humansvd3269]

Strong independent women are the one initiating divorces.

[@TakenTook]

From the time that I was a little girl, I knew I would always want to have a job for security. Even though my father was a good man who never would have cheated on his wife or left his family, my family learned the hard way in the 1970s that sometimes companies go out of business or jobs are lost for other reasons. My mom was able to be a stay at home mom for a few years, but then she had to go back to work, and had to keep working even after my dad found a new job because the new one didn't pay as much. So even in marriages where the men are NOT worthless philanderers who also keep their wives barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, women should always keep at least one foot in the workplace, and maintain their skill sets in their chosen lines of work.

[@thepragmatist]

Completely agree. There are so many practical reasons why a woman may have to pivot and go back to work.

[@TakenTook]

@@thepragmatist -- And even though I began my marriage with that plan in place for purely financial reasons, my ex eventually became abusive when he started drinking. Thank goodness I had my job, my own bank accounts, my own credit cards, and my own really strong credit history, or else it would've been impossible for me and my son to get out safely.

[@thepragmatist]

@@TakenTook Exactly. Unfortunately, you never know what the future holds when you get married. Back in the day, women had far less options so they were more likely to stay in abusive relationships. All the best to you and your son.

[@DEPUISEMENT2DISCOVER]

The thing with young twenty year olds is that they think they’ll stay young and beautiful forever. Truth is, time will pass anyway, looks fade, and stressful experiences happen. A lot of the times people think they are the exception but hopefully they will realize sooner than later that it will happen to them too and they need to start living their lives for themselves instead of depending on someone else to live it for them

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

Women outlive men most of the time. Women with good husbands live some of the best lives in their golden years. My husband’s mother was a millionaire in her 90s and had been a SAHW most of her life.

[@farrahupson]

@@MsFlamingFlamer Yeah, it works out for some people, that's great. But there are no guarantees so it makes sense to protect yourself. Wait - there is one guarantee - if you stay alive, you WILL age and stop looking 20. Unfortunately this seems to be a problem for some relationships.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

@@farrahupson I’ll be 40 next year and my relationship is doing better than ever

[@farrahupson]

@@MsFlamingFlamerThat's great. Unfortunately it doesn't work out for everyone.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

@@farrahupson nothing works out for everyone 100% including degrees and career

[@kristiaunalee7987]

I'm 38 and as we speak, two separate couples in my friend circle are going through divorce. It's the EXACT same story every single one of these women are warning about who have already been through it. Unplanned pregnancy 18-20, marriage because of the unplanned pregnancy, woman stayed home with kids, never worked and BOOM 15 years later, got left for another woman. No one is thinking ahead to 35-40 when they're 20 but it goes a lot faster than you think and babies grow up.

[@thewizard555]

@@Austenfan177 they should have warned them beforehand that they might leave them cause they are not married to them out of any love . so these women could have not depended on them for all their finances . they would have started working and getting their own money from their early 20s . but these men give them hope to take care of their financial responsibility in exchange for them to sacrifice their life , taking up all the child care , family responsibility and all that work that they earn NOTHING FROM . these men destroyed their early 20s by not letting them taking up jobs, making them do all unpaid labour , raising his children only to leave these women broke in their 40s once these men get rich(by all the money he saved by not having to hire any maid , cook , nanny as all these were for free) and can afford a pretty young girl to destroy her life again

[@saralee6710]

I don't know the average age of this audience, but I will assume I am a wee bit older. I done think many young women are aware how new real independence is, and why you need to hold firm to it. In the 50s, My Nan had her last child. She had a complication which would cost her one ovary, and part of her Uterus. It would only decrease fertility, but they would not perform the procedure, because they required my Granddad, or her very deceased father to approve it. He was in service on a ship, so the left her sat with antibiotics until a telegram reached him, he made it back to her, and provided his consent. The reason it was her last child is the uterine tissue died, and they had to remove much more. Mum and Dad are hippies, so Mum became a solicitor, and worked with refugees. They are not, nor were they ever independently poor, with Mum worth a bit more at the time. I was young, but I remember Mum wishing to buy herself a turquoise Fiat. We had a family van and wagon, but she wanted a small car for work. We were told dad should test the car, because "It's faster than a family car, so it's more difficult to control." It was her car, her money, but she could not purchase it alone. Until the early 80s, there used to be these women you would see in the department store lounges getting dressed, the would visit the make-up, and perfume counters for samples, and leave. It was not uncommon. They were usually first wives. When wives used to divorce, the kids stayed with dad, and new mum very often. It wasn't because he wanted them, it was because they did not wish to pay. The women had 0 qualifications, money, nor the ability to earn. It was hard to impossible to obtain credit, so obviously the more stable household prevailed, unless he did not want them. Poor men left, men with money kept the kids. So, there were droves of married at 18, mum to 3, older & traded for someone else, lost home, kids, family, friends, sad homeless women who were past the job market, underqualified women. They would typically find an older husband, because that was survival. Society normalised this traditional narrative, when in reality it was just the better option for healtcare, income, a roof, and other resources. They were not as happy as people think. These women raised daughters to deal with their reality, but the law no longer requires such dependency, so you should not either. It's dangerous. No one wants to start life over from zero at 50, because someone had a change in feelings. I have 11 siblings. My father took each of his girls to the bank for our first independent savings accounts at five. He was adamant that we never share access to it. He said if we decide to hold a joint account, deposit fully into your savings, and only remove a small portion to deposit jointly if needed. Hold propperty as joint ownership, He also said to never speak about assets, savings, inheritance, or otherwise. All life policies should be in trust for children upon 18. I did not understand when I was young, but it was the best a father could do for his daughters then. Luckily my adult life did not have such restrictions, but the men of that era are still very much alive, and you see it in legislation all the time. Financial independence should not be something taken lightly. All of this freedom is rather new for women, and the old ways "Taditional Wife," is still nostalgic for many men. I do not care if women wish to continue this traditional life, but I do care about the romanticism of it. Telling women it's better, leaves out the grim reality of not receiving emergency care, being paid to low to live alone if needed, choosing to cook with a broken nose because there is literally no other option, being too uneducated to realise what schemes your husband has attached you to, just having to roll the dice and hope for the best. The traditional part is not inherently wrong, it is the societal, legal, religious or family enforcement of limitations to impose tradition with no real safety that is deplorable. You cannot simply ignore the consequences of total submission, and restrictions. I am married, 28 years with five adult children. I am a doctor, and we do have a great life. I still have my savings account, and a few more at this point. We are super close, best friends, and I truly hope we last another 40 years; however, I cannot eat, nor live in hope. So, should things sour for any reason, I do not require his agreement to any terms for my independence. Do not be swayed by these neo-traditionalist, because they are living in a time when you can choose to be traditional, and then opt out. Those women were "traditional," because there were very limited opportunities not to be, and there was no changing your mind. It's like watching people cosplay historical suffering though a glamour filter. Also, there is no such thing as working wife, and traditional. Sorry for typos, I misplaced my glasses, and am reliant upon word suggestions. Anyhow, I knew my great grand, and life was stifling for her as well. My daughter has a trust fund, and no one, including her can take it, or give it away. These men are speaking foolishness these days, so we planned for her comfortable independence, even if she marries, she can walk away whole, at least financially. Hope this gives a different perspective from an older lady. Protect your independence, as the true other side can be tragic.

[@thepragmatist]

Thank you for your detailed comment. I'm a 55 year old woman, single, never married, no children. I completely agree with everything you say here. I would also add that working, having your own money, and your own independence can actually prevent abuse and/or from the relationship becoming lopsided and controlling. This can happen even in good relationships if one person becomes too dependent on the other. I really think a balanced relationship has the best chance of success. All the best to you and your husband!

[@gospelgirl2012]

thank you for taking the time to share this!

[@humansvd3269]

Most women divorce to upgrade, get half ir more regardless of the reason or infidelity. But yeah, sure, strong amd independent, and progress.

[@gojiberry7201]

I'm 45 ... I remember my mom showing me my grandmother's high school yearbook. I asked my mom why all the teachers were "Miss." My mom said that if a female teacher got married, she was fired. She wasn't "pure" anymore or some such nonsense.

[@user-kpkxgtj]

Thank you for such a detailed comment. I was in a position where I had to move out of a home very fast to escape escalating disrespect, and I was extremely grateful that my mum had taught me the same things your father taught you. Those lessons ensured I had separate investments and an emergency fund that was utilized to move out as soon as I could to a space of my own. I am working to set up a similar fund for my daughter so she can be financially secure no matter what happens. Best wishes to you and your family.

[@TheRealBlackPanda]

Someone in her comment section actually pointed out that its much harder to cater to your main the way she can when children are around often because the mother is the primary caretaker. I thought it was a great point.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

Not all men want to be catered to. My husband caters to me way more than the other way around.

[@rowdybliss]

Never engage in a relationship where there is any kind of power dynamic.

[@ktokie338]

All hetero relationships are a power dynamic it’s called s3xual conflict. Evens if it’s a ‘healthy’ relationship or not someone always has a bit more power and it usually if not always works out better if the woman has the power.

[@ingredi8409]

Unless is a kink thing!

[@hanjacraft]

It is pretty true unfortunately.. have you not seen the hundreds of examples of it?

[@naomilaboo]

I was so blessed! When my ex-husband left me. I had a 2 month old. I also had a nursing degree! I was able to bounce back!

[@BurbNBougie]

That is awesome! You were prepared. That's all I want for women.

[@JonalynH]

Why is this woman giving me my life story I find myself 46 physically destroyed, mentally crushed, spiritually abused and I have 4 kids I can’t work, I can’t cook clean dress pretty. Illnesses took my beauty my husband everything else. I am no one, with nothing but brokenness. I was everything to him, I gave everything to be the perfect wife Naïve and a virgin I did everything “right” and look where I am now.

[@lovefelix1566]

I will be praying for you

[@jogreen7]

This breaks my heart. I pray almighty God, Lord Jesus intervene in your situation. Pray to him. He will help you.

[@jacquelynsharp9354]

I 55 got ran over19months ago live in my exs trashed house can't leave in wheelchair, bedridden, ex hates my existence please save me 😢

[@lucindabreeding]

Another really important thing to know about the American labor market: if you are a woman who is 50 or older, if you get laid off, you will probably not be able to find a new position. Men who are 50 and older do struggle after layoffs, but they are much more likely to find a new position. I've been told that, in the workplace, it's the perception that women 50 and older are too difficult to train that makes it so hard for a woman that age to find a new position. I call BS on that. If you consider that most mid-level managers and CEOs are men 50 and older, my suspicion is that these men are seeing their own parents and in-laws start to become sick as they age. And they know that it costs a lot less to have their wife care for their parents and her own than to pay for help.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

I work in the tech world and it’s more than 90% male. Older men have a difficult time being rehired if they are laid off post 50. Companies don’t want to pay pensions. Regardless of one’s sex your employer is not your friend.

[@lucindabreeding]

@@MsFlamingFlamer it's been a few years since I've seen it, but PBS did a documentary on this and survey the data. It's true that older workers struggle to find a new position if they are laid off. But it is apparently much more difficult for a woman to find a position. That said, the trends and the information/data might have changed since I saw the short documentary.

[@humansvd3269]

Men will do more work and will take less time off. That's why they get hired.

[@rebeccajordan4491]

@@humansvd3269in my workplace, the men stand around shooting the shit and doing as little as possible and the women are busy getting the work done. All day every day. Men get hired due to men’s prejudices and preferences, not due to their abilities.

[@j.kaimori3848]

​@@humansvd3269why are you so mad everywhere?

[@XaraK1]

I'm so glad there are women like BnB who are warning these young ladies coz I'm done and am at a point where I will sit back and quietly watch someone walk into a complete disaster because I am tired of being called jealous and broke and ugly and not wanting other women to be happy and wanting to be the only married one and all kinds of accusations when women wanna walk into the sun with their abuser. In the last 3 years, I have lost my closest friend of over 30 years, and years ago I lost another 20 year friendship because I was the friend who asked too many questions and called out what I thought was abuse when her husband to be said if she left he would unalive her and their child. Later he moved another woman into the house and her mother calls me periodically to beg me to contact her daughter. I love what you do and I am so glad women have u, coz I'm out. I dont want to be but as women can be so abusive when we wanna feed into delusion

[@teralecole316]

You’re absolutely right! I learned not to get in the way of women’s fantasies and delusions because you will quickly become the enemy despite their abuser knocking them upside their heads. Everyone has their own journey and lessons to learn. It’s not my job to interrupt the lessons , after all, I had to learn mine and part of my lesson is to mind my own business and show grace from a far safe distance.

[@XaraK1]

@@teralecole316 It is such a hard lesson to learn, especially when ur a girl' girl.

[@teralecole316]

@@XaraK1 I know what you mean, we want to save everybody but unfortunately the ones we try to save tell us they don’t need saving…. Even if they’re suffering. I need to save myself.

[@user-kpkxgtj]

@@XaraK1 I feel you on this. Especially for older women at some point one gets tired of being called names and decides to mind their own business. People will learn one way or the other.

[@iamwolf805]

I’m not on any social media besides KZbin if that’s considered social media, so I am so grateful for this content!! My heart goes out to these women. I was there, worked 4 jobs after my divorce. All were on-call catering or office jobs, so I could create a flexible schedule to still be there for my kids. Was on food stamps, WIC, and Medi-Cal. Finally got a job at age 40 in tech, in an entry level position… three years later, still in entry level tech job, but I now work remotely, have great income and insurance, and a 401k. I have a lot of catching up to do with my finances, but it’s happening! A man is not a plan! Also my exes family are millionaires, I got nothing, don’t let the men out there claim that women take everything after divorce, it’s rare for that to happen. It takes years to build up your resume and start making money but it’s possible. I’m proof of that. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years age 24-34. That’s a hard gap to recover.

[@liorasitelman1856]

You’re speaking the truth. Some of these women are SO smug “MY husband will never divorce me” right like you can predict the future 20 years from now

[@dity9442]

Exactly. They're not mind readers.

[@liorasitelman1856]

@@dity9442 the likeliness of my apartment catching fire is unlikely. I still have renters insurance. So too with a marriage… always have a back up in the form of job skills or education

[@momof1576]

My friend was a trad wife. Her husband is a wonderful man. He was a good provider. He was diagnosed with a degenerative disease that has left him completely paralyzed four years ago. They’ve lost everything. My friend is now trying to support their family on minimum wage. They have no financial security.

[@the8thchurch461]

Who exactly gave anyone this idea of female POVERTY? I will never ever understand why a woman shouldn't work?

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

That’s the fault of America having for profit medical care than it does your friend being a SAHW. Medical bills are the number one reason for bankruptcy in the United States. No other country comes close.

[@humansvd3269]

​@the8thchurch461 If a woman if happy being home, then that's her choice if the man can provide. It would be smart of the woman has free time to build skills in case something happens.

[@the8thchurch461]

​@@humansvd3269If a woman like that sort of thing then fair enough but the man has to be literally stinking rich because if he trades her for a younger model or falls ill or dies, then the woman and her children will go to hell in a cart. One thing I have noticed about all these people who promote this idea, is that they do not want people to think about the risks and the dangers of the situation. They want people to go in blindly. Unbelievable. It is mainly because men do not care about women's welfare. The only thing that matters is their egos.

[@Chillikilli]

Alot of these trad wife influencers base their content off of sterotypes of house wifes from the 1940s/50s. Sterotypes from the media thay make it look glamorous and like all women back them were so happy to stay at home and be maids to their husband. If they actually did research or talked to their grandparents they would realize it wasn't a great time for most women or children.

[@anber4129]

My friend and I are the same age (both are 29). She got married early on in our 20s and I spent time dating, going to school and building my career. Fast forward to recently, her husband cheated on her and left. She has a kid. She works two jobs and is barely making ends meet. She is studying online to finish her masters. We also have the same masters degree but because I have many years ahead in work, my jobs pay significantly higher. Dating is more challenging for her because she has a son. She wants to get married soon as possible because financially, it will help her situation. She is afraid and hurt. She is a lovely person and her mistake was trusting a fantasy that was never real. Meanwhile, I am in a long term relationship & making a great living. Same age, same degree. The difference is she gave her youth, energy and trust to someone who didn’t give back. I have hope for my friend. She is hard working, a great mom and a great women.

[@dumpmail-xz2qp]

If only she could find a trustworthy worker woman instead of a man to team up with

[@unicorn73212]

A lot of times younger women seem fo forget that not all jobs were designed for men either teaching children, managing a restaurant, modeling , nursing, filling grocery orders, pharmacy work anything food related, modeling , fashion design, cutting or styling hair, stripping, writing music because it deals with expressing your emotions, painting pictures, decorating and cleaning houses all these jobs have been around just as long as the masculine jobs. If feeding people is so important why do women have to do this for free and men can get paid more for that same role? Why do men need money to look masculine? They tried to slap a label on something that was actually more intended for women because you also need money to be clean and look like a woman too. Men don't take care of women like that in the real world. So never throw out your job for a man even if he is rich you still need something to fall back on in case you want to retire.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

Some of the richest women in the world are divorcees and widows.

[@mistychang6654]

When I was younger I wanted to stay home with my kids but was afraid that if my husband left me I wouldn’t be able to support myself so I kept working & I’m so glad I did because when he left I got my own apartment and was able to stand on my own two feet, best choice I ever made, never depend on a man, same thing I taught my daughter

[@natcl9974]

I seen it a mile awhile when I was in my 20s, seen the struggling moms, seen the marriage where the husband was looking me up and down undressing me in their eyes and mentally I’d say, “I’m never getting married” now I say I wouldn’t unless he’s got a good substantial of money and I can draw up a prenup with my conditions, because there’s no way I’m signing a legal marriage document without a legal protection document under my belt

[@whoome1638]

Only way I’m being a SAHM is if there is a separate contract (outside of my marriage contract) that states he will pay into my retirement and also hire help. And cannot ask for that money back in court.

[@humansvd3269]

Courts award women in divorces all the time. You are all acting like this is pre-70s, it's simply not true.

[@Dani4Equality]

Her story was absolutely heartbreaking. I wouldn't wish that one ANYONE. I'm so glad she was able to bring herself out of that awful situation.

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

My advice to people who want to be SAHM. Keep your skills up. Most public universities offer online courses that you can fit around your schedule in the home. You don’t have to go to lectures or travel to a campus so it will work better if you have kids. It will also give you a sense of achievement which will majorly boost your confidence. Don’t let your marketability fall off. You never know when you might need to go back to work. ❤

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

My sister in law is currently going to graduate school online while raising an 11 month old.

[@rosaluzpower1783]

Totally agree with you

[@dantayhylton9938]

This exact 💯 thing happened to my mother and all my father said "she wasn't working 😑 😒. When I was going to high school my eyes open differently about my father. He didn't do laundry, cook etc In the caribbean your parents would give you lunch money for school. My father was always short with money and anytime my mother had money she had to give her last to give me lunch money. I had to question my parents relationship when I was going to college, he wasn't there everyday anyway but I was like he was invisible. I asked my mother how come I don't see dad she said he walk out on us 😐 😒 I remember how betrayed I was ,he left my mother with no job and two children going to school I was 17 at the time. I remember seeing my mother so angry and frustrated. Being an adult when a man betray me I find it hard to forgive.

[@tlrcarroll]

I always see that when older trad wives mention to baby trad wives that their husbands could die, the baby trads always say, “That’s what insurance is for!” I laugh cuz they have no idea how many husbands DON’T have their wives as beneficiaries on their insurance policy. Also, how many men who SAY they have insurance, but think they’ll live forever or are too cheap to pay for insurance. Many of those young women are in for a rude awakening. 🥴

[@user-kpkxgtj]

Yeah, anyone talking about insurance when they haven't seen the policy with their own two eyes is dangerously delusional.

[@atmac8459]

Chiiiillleee I’m SO GLAD this didn’t happen to me! I used to think this is the life to have! My mama was married to daddy for 44 years when he died and she was exhausted!

[@jogreen7]

Taking care of a man is tiring 😂😂

[@humansvd3269]

​@@jogreen7No it isn't. More likely he was taking care of her.

[@LibrasReact]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We have also kept all of our finances separate. We both work and make about the same money. We split all bills 50/50. Has worked so well for us. We never fight about money. We dont fight about anything honestly. Also we only had 1 child. I refuse to have more children than what i could afford by myself if it came down to it.

[@eowynbaughman8369]

One and done for related reasons. I can sleep well knowing I can provide for my son solo.

[@deborahgardner7862]

Wow, never in my life have I felt good about being a statistic, til now. I mean always worked never married, got caught up with someone early on, who taught me to trust no one but myself, I was a single mother, but I answered to no one, I depended on no one, I did what I wanted to do, with no push back from anyone, I sent my child to college, and still did what I wanted to do, so this 4B movement, I was doing and never thought to name it, I’m very happy, and I love me, and that is what let’s me see people that shouldn’t be in my circle clearly. It’s amazing, that the only care in the world is what you want it to be that day, and all cares are not bad if you create them yourself.

[@humansvd3269]

You choose to have a child out of wedlock. No one made you do that.

[@deborahgardner7862]

@@humansvd3269 you’re absolutely correct, and you’re saying that to say what? I’m never ashamed of my life now or then. So please explain what you mean, because I don’t live my life for anyone but me, and my choices are mine and don’t concern anyone but me, you have your own life, your choices are your own. I described a feeling I had and that triggered you, why? Because my life, what I do, who I do anything with, doesn’t concern anyone but me, they are my choices, so please explain your statement, because it seems you wanted to say something, and I want you too, I have no shame in my life, what do you want to know?

[@theinkwitch13]

My Mum had a marriage that lasted almost 30 years. She was with my Father until she passed away from cancer. He stayed with her until the end. She had two kids. Myself and my Sister and until I was old enough to watch my Sister, my Mother was a stay at home Mom. She took care of everything related to my sister and me. She cooked dinner every night for the family. She did laundry until I was old enough to do my own. She cleaned the house and kept it tidy. She and my Father had a good marriage and he ADORED her. I once watched her stub her toe on a broken piece of wood on the deck, only to then witness my Dad rip up the piece of wood that harmed her and throw it away with all his strength. He then cleaned and dressed her bleeding foot. My Mom had a car in HER name. She was on the deed to the house. She had her own savings account. And still, One of the MAIN things I remember her teaching me was to NEVER rely on a man for everything. She taught me how to manage finances, how to save the most money possible while shopping. She made damn sure that I knew to always have my own bank account. To always have an emergency fund. to ALWAYS have a back up plan and a way out. My Mother was wise in knowing that just because being a 'trad wife' for 11 years worked out so well for her, it didn't work out well for many many women and She wanted to make sure that one of the women who ended up with nothing would never be me or my Sister. RIP, Mama, you absolute Legend.

[@to2768]

I did NOT expect to cry😭 from the woman at 1:40 (the former traditional wife). I started bawling with her last sentence. And i was a trad wife (and a pharmacist) that made the decision not to ignore foresight and at least keep a prn position despite my husband telling me i didn't have to work. Thank God for common sense because I'm now divorced and doing so very well on my own. I made sure to keep up with my pharm license and all required CEs😢

[@BlackandBlessed100]

90% of the modern day marriages are Doomed the first two years because that man is 100% dusty on many levels You in Trouble if you don’t have a plan For me Single Life is Awesome Since 2005 No kids I have my career My house is paid off No dusty man in My house 🥰Ooohhhh🥰 I love my life

[@toppagirl]

but whose to blame for marrying a dusty? The women know that man’s a dusty before they said I do. Red flags are always there and women CHOOSE to ignore it bc they don’t want to be unmarried.

[@driley5004]

This whole comment 👏👏👏👏

[@Garcelle1987]

Congratulations!!! The statistics show women are disproportionately happier being single than married women. And with the dating pool of men being so sub-standard in the US & western countries in general there is clearly good reason that so many women are opting for being child free & marriage free life ☕️🙌

[@Segen_Bell]

​@@toppagirl I think it would be better if you remove some cobwebs and start oiling up your mental gears. 13:00 watch this woman's part again. Watch it and understand what she is saying. If you still don't understand what is wrong with your comment, then Brother, I don't think you have a working brain. It doesn't take a genius to understand this simple concept of why people fall victim to abuse, especially after marriage. That is, unless even the average IQ is a a genius level for you.

[@J-Dubb888]

This may be harsh but at this point any woman who calls for women to be SAHM and glamorize this lifestyle should fend for themselves in the event their husband or SO leaves, cheats, passes away, have no money etc and should not reach out to communities for any help since they had a great husband

[@OGK-1414]

But then the men say "don't you trust me?"

[@jennpul1015]

This may sound mean, but I NEVER give money or help to any woman who chose to be a SAHM. I can help a woman who always tried to be independent and have fallen on hard times. Those delusional SAHM should work at finding the magic that makes their fairy tales last.

[@kellharris2491]

WHat's frustrating is that many of these women come from money. They have no idea how hard it is for regular people. My male cousin was railing against education but his inlaws bought his house for him. My mind was blown.

[@maam-yj8ph]

Honestly, it's this huge disconnect between the rich and the poor. Just because not every rich person is buying BMW's and Lincoln's doesn't mean that the experience of having multiple kids is not going to be different. The educational experience can be vastly different.

[@jsChelimo]

victim blaming

[@ashassassin]

Hey burb, could you please touch on how bad these situations are for disabled women? I have a disabled friend who can't leave her relationship because of her disability. It's a situation where it's between her living on street, and not getting her medications or staying with a controlling man. It's a terrible situation and I'm not sure what to tell her. She can't work, how does she get out?

[@DivineTeaWithKejhane]

Pray. Ask God. Seek help. You will get clarity...❤

[@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

Ask someone like a therapist. They have hella connections and programs to offer.

[@gajoratte]

@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEvermaybe some places. Not usually. There’s a reason so many people are homeless

[@APerson-tq1zg]

Is she physically disabled or mentally? Maybe she could reach out to a disability advocacy agency. They help with employment and supports. Definitely try to stay in her life and be emotionally supportive if you can.

[@jacquelynsharp9354]

Im55 got ran over19months ago,at exs house trashed,wheelchair, bedridden, miserable being abused can't get outside,no dates now,no help no friends family I feel like I don't wanna live like this alone247 with no help no talking 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@bonniewashington541]

I was in the ER yesterday because I needed some IV fluids after a week of throwing up. My husband got up from his chair each time I had to throw up to just kiss the top of my head and hold my hair. We had had an argument the day before fueled in part due to my illness. This is a true husband and relationship. People get sick, they age and we change as the times change.

[@SwahiliSpicE]

My narcissistic ex whom I was with for 8+ years loved the idea of me staying at home. I was so lucky because he wasn't smart enough to earn enough to support us all by himself so I stayed working. I know for a fact I would have listened to him and stayed at home if he had the means because I was so stupid and naive. Thank god he didn't really put me back much on my career but he did in many other ways. There's so much work you have to do to heal from all aspects of an abusive relationship. Thank god for these women who are speaking up. We need these lessons drummed into us from early!

[@clownetto981]

She looks like a goddess. Like, holy hell. She's stunning. I wish I looked half as good as her

[@Cynophileandavianenthusiast]

Just use a filter, like she does.

[@femmefatale71]

@@Cynophileandavianenthusiastno need to be salty and mean wow!

[@alabaster2163]

73% of homeless claim religon as a part of thier lives.... 😢

[@neoloanderson6676]

Because religion offers hope, strength and a light at the end of the tunnel.

[@arlett6477]

Religion and god is a scam and outdated. Ppl should be more rational no proof to all this shit, it's just make-believe and coping. Seeing reality and accepting it is saving u time and a bad wake up, sooner better than later, learn from others' mistakes and question everything especially authority

[@brabbit330]

Churches like to dangle free food and shelter as a carrot to lure the homeless in. When someone is that poor and desperate, they will say they believe anything to get those resources. I once volunteered in a homeless shelter and witnessed a preacher come in with sandwiches. He forced everyone there to listen to him talk about Jesus for an hour before he let them eat.

[@dusklvr]

False hope and spiritually abusive predators suck

[@alabaster2163]

@@neoloanderson6676 because religon preaches to slaves so they can stay enslved... you never heard of slave bible!? They have one for each continent... thanks for playing game over.

[@LavendowaGrawitacja]

have you noticed they all are talking with baby fundie cadence

[@BurbNBougie]

I didn't, but I believe it.

[@Iquey]

"Coo coo gaga daddy I'm a good wife"

[@katherines144]

I can't un-hear that after that State of the Union response from Serena

[@BurbNBougie]

Lol at you calling her Serena 😭😭😭

[@laurac9322]

Yep. 22 years stay-at-home mom. Currently divorcing. Trying to learn some new skills to start over at 60. My husband's girlfriend demanded we divorce. She has since broken up with him. Hoping for a decent settlement, but I will work full time and just hope to make ends meet, even with any support he gives me. Two kids out of college and in their first jobs. Good ones, thank goodness. One is starting high school. Every day is hard. I worked as many hours a week as my husband, or more. But he acted like I did nothing. My labor was invisible, just as his mother's had been. Everything was just..... done. 60 years old, and he's never done his own taxes, or learned to pick up after himself.

[@JaneWoodBranam]

My Mom never worked, but she came from a rich family and had access to her Father’s money. She always had a separate bank account, Dad put properties on her name and he had lots of life insurance in case he died. Women couldn’t even have their own credit cards till 1974. I had to have my husbands written permission to get my tubes tied. She also married someone who made a lot of money, had friends who had no clue how to do anything after their husband’s died. And we had household help, so she never cooked or cleaned either. But this is so rare. Always, have your own money.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Not saying for women not to do the traditional wife thing, just get a contract in place so you're not thrown away like most are.

[@jennyjones-tw5hp]

I wish all trad wives would do this simple step prior to committing to these relationships. All they have to do is bring it up a prenup or contract and watch how their partner reacts. Their reaction is all you need to know.

[@marquitathatcher6286]

@@jennyjones-tw5hpThey won’t do prenups because both of them will say, “we don’t believe in divorce” and “prenups mean you are planning for a divorce.” Rose-colored glasses.

[@jennyjones-tw5hp]

@@marquitathatcher6286 I mean, I get it. But we get car insurance just in case we get into an accident; that’s just a car! Before you hate each other when dividing assets, it makes more sense to have that crap in a contract that spells everything out. Expectations, consequences, division of labor and equity. No one can say “I didn’t know”. And it’s like a road map of what to do to avoid divorce. How the hell aren’t they having these conversations before marriage!?

[@Nitra813]

Trad wives “dont need contracts” because they have “faith” their husbands will never leave them or mistreat them. 🙄 Trad wives don’t operate like sensible wives or sensible stay at home moms. They have a very indoctrinated mindset. Most SAHM call themselves trad wives but they aren’t. Trad wives have very limited ability outside of “domestic duties” This is why these videos exist to show the downside of aspiring to be a trad-wife. It’s really a trap

[@abbyb764]

How about females get a contract at age 19 .. older men prey on them to mess up their lives from young .. so they can pay for the damage and healing that girl has to go through

[@laurah2831]

Would love to see stuff on what disabled people who have no choice but to be financially dependent on others - including the state - can do. The state often if not always is a-busive to people unable to work. Healthcare is another area that behaves similar.

[@APerson-tq1zg]

First thing is disabled women need to be brought into the discussion more. A lot of disabled women (and men honestly) are not treated as adults because they might be more dependent and as a result are horribly misinformed. Not all disabled people are stupid more so naive.

[@elibennett6168]

I have absolutely see red pillers simultaneously claim their wants are simple (wife who stays at home, cooks, cleans and takes care of his needs) and at the same time call inferior women gold diggers, freeloaders who bring nothing to the table. It's helpful to hear the female counterpoint. I feel fortunate that I have a trad/non-trad husband and I am a trad/non-trad wife. That is; we are a team and have done what it takes for the family to thrive.

[@lifetaketwo7662]

Hey I’m in your video! Thanks for sharing this crucial message. I always love your content.

[@BurbNBougie]

This was before we connected 😊😊

[@SoulMaeven]

Yes! This is SO important for us to teach the new generation so they protect themselves! This happened to me - 27 years of true trad wife - and then he inherited $250,000 and left me with six children. I had given up finishing my education, let alone building a career or saving for retirement. He left us in complete poverty! Never let this happen to you!

[@thatcreepyxmastreeinyourat8950]

My husband passed away in 2019 after 23 years of marriage. Because he was unable to get his citizenship before he died I was left with nothing. I also lost 15 years of my own social security credits because after 7 years of not filing taxes the IRS wipes your slate clean. Friends and family who priorly gushed I was the best mom and had the perfect family were suddenly calling me a lazy bum. "Get a job". With what resume? Who would hire a 41 year old with no resume? I promptly lost housing and my children were removed from my care. Within 6 months everything I ever worked for was gone and nobody would talk to me because I wasn't perfect anymore. I did ended meeting someone and got a surprise pregnancy at 44 so I am once again a SAHM, but I am using this time to get some schooling under my belt. The world can be a horribly cruel place and in the end all we really have is ourselves and (hopefully) our health.

[@catloverfurever00]

I’m so sorry, how unfair that life was turned upside down for you due to something you couldn’t have predicted or prevented. I hope you have been reunited with your other children ❤

[@victoria-r.g682]

I like her message about building the relationship out of how you look and what you can provide is actually eye opening because there will be times when you cannot do that.

[@jealvarado68]

For many years, I thought three of my cousins were in happy marriages. In fact, I was a little jealous of one of them for how loving her husband seemed. The other one had her husband buying her designer items that she eagerly showed off. Years later I found out it was all an act. The one with designer purses was the SAHM of 5 (who seemed to look down on fact I was a working Mom), ended up being abused and was on the verge of being homeless when her husband left. The other two cousins (also SAHM for most of the time, or only worked part-time) told me: “If we made the money you do, we’d been out of our marriages yesterday.” One is still stuck in her marriage, in same home with her husband, because she can't afford to leave. The other seems to have accepted her marriage saying she’a realized she doesn't like to be alone. Meanwhile I’ve always been a working Mom, with my own career, money and identity separate from being wife & mom. Because I worked, I was able to divorce my first husband when things went wrong. Don't get stuck. Protect yourselves!

[@tashibalampkin8555]

19:39 That "not even as a roommate, not even as a pet" part hit me HARD.

[@jessicagerou4132]

Centering men has lead me to waste 12yrs of my life, and both men I centered lead me to homelessness after we broke up. The fantasy we create about men really destroys our lives. After watching Princella the Queenmaker I've gained understanding of the biology of men, and that has helped me to end these false fantasies.

[@humansvd3269]

Women are the hypergamous ones. Not men.

[@StefsMiniaturesandCrafts-ej3mz]

I tell my daughters all the time- get an education or a skill before you get married and have kids- not because I think all men leave them- but things happen, I had a career, became a stay at home mom- but had a small business, I stayed home for 13 years and loved it- when my youngest was in 2nd grade I decided to go back to work (teacher) and just two years later my husband of 30 years was fighting for his life from a catastrophic medical event, he’s been disabled for 5 years now and thank goodness I was able to work and support us, it’s been so hard but we make it work. Be strong-get an education or a skill- learn how to manage money and do what you love!

[@susannehuber3996]

Im in my 40s having an amazing career as an engineer, moved to a different country and making even more money, only dating men in their 20s…. Sooo who’s the looser now?

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

Go girl! Because you can! Love it!❤

[@jennyjones-tw5hp]

I’m not sure dating men in their 20s is a flex. I’m sure it depends on where you are in the world (I’m back in the south and the men here just don’t grow up). Dating a 20 something sounds like straight baby sitting to me (as a 40 year old). If that works for you, fantastic, but you couldn’t pay me to date a dude that young because they don’t seem to have the first clue about life.

[@sherrilynnnelson703]

Engineer? It's spelled "loser" 😅

[@07Flash11MRC]

@@jennyjones-tw5hp "Dating a 20 something sounds like straight baby sitting to me": Dating men in general is. If they're a manbaby, just don't have them move in with you.

[@amberinthemist7912]

​@sherrilynnnelson703 you doubt she's an engineer because of a spelling typo?

[@chigal0926]

The former Mormon woman looks great despite her having to learn life the hard way. Props to her for calling this trad wife nonsense out.

[@nataliesiddle8507]

Honestly the glow-up these women go through once able to claw their way back to independence is amazing

[@zephomalunga5251]

I love love this content... Finally, there are voices shedding light on the traditional wife phenomenon. I can't imagine relying on another human being for existence. I am definitely the rich guy we have been told to marry 😃

[@MarkieMcG.]

Happily married for 14 years until I found out we weren't. He cheated. I left. I had to start over. 2 years later I'm still scrambling but I'm finally landing. Don't get married and do not have children unless you want to fight for your life!!!!