"Narcissism is the second-hand smoke of mental illness." Brilliant analogy!
@sarahsiddiqui95913 жыл бұрын
I loved that too
@Walkthepath923 жыл бұрын
I wrote it down! And it's so true. Physical illness too. And accidents as well. It's so strange but true. I believe they're the "evil spirits" that our ancestors talked about. :)
@RepentTimeIsAtHand2 жыл бұрын
I am deeply grateful that Dr. Ramini has answered the call to be the vessel of revealing this dark evil to the world.
@amadapittaluga14872 жыл бұрын
I worked for one and many times felt that I was intoxicating myself with the rampant narcissism going on
@Lighthousepreserve2 жыл бұрын
Npd Antithesis of authentic.
@joshualovelace33753 жыл бұрын
48:38 "For a Narcissist, forgiveness is permission" WOW! That really hit me
@amber404943 жыл бұрын
Yes, it's true although I haven't reflected on that enough! I think deep in my subconscious I still believe that I will get better treatment from the narc if I'm kind again and again
@marianlyons51303 жыл бұрын
I don't necessarily agree with that. You can forgive a person and not have anything to fo with them. Doesn't mean you still take their shit. I love Dr. Ramani, but don't agree 100% with everything she says. I would not be a critical thinker if I did.
@amber404943 жыл бұрын
@@marianlyons5130 silent forgiveness or are you telling the narc you forgive them?
@marianlyons51303 жыл бұрын
@@amber40494 let them go, get them out of your life, but forgive them with your soul. Put yourself first.
@amber404943 жыл бұрын
@@marianlyons5130 I left my narc family and my narc ex, but it seems that everyone I know is narcissistic in some way. It's awful.
@crankiemanx84233 жыл бұрын
I wonder if she really knows how much she is helping so many people by educating us.such a beautiful well spoken lady .❤️ Much appreciated.
@margaretclinton94593 жыл бұрын
Very much appreciated. Love how SHE BROKE THEM DOWN. EXCELLENT. She is excellent for those in the Medical field.
@lizmcvey12943 жыл бұрын
This lady has got me through so much..She’s my go to person.....
@mb47823 жыл бұрын
She's obviously narcissistic herself. She's more self absorbed in hearing herself talk instead of sincerely conveying information to others.
@DavidBaronStevensPersonal3 жыл бұрын
I think she does. She seems to be interested in making the info available to the masses
@liambenyamin54823 жыл бұрын
The authentic answers never are related to behavior control , even if it is a Western Idealistic Myth. People honestly deserve to experience the authenticity that deepens mutual connection w/o emotional contagion. Life was meant to be based on experience quality and free choice. Narsassism is everything BUT authenticity. Healing modalities at this juncture would bless so many with the gift of natural grounding...
@lynette5992 жыл бұрын
_One of the most informative talks on Narcissism I have ever listened to. I absolutely adore this woman...the passion with which she speaks, her intelligence, her ability of explaining a complex matter so that everybody is able to understand, her humour._
@aktchungrabanio64672 жыл бұрын
Don't you feel something's off with her though?
@aryalogo66242 жыл бұрын
not really
@monolith_g2 жыл бұрын
@@aktchungrabanio6467 she is a…narcissist
@i.ehrenfest3492 жыл бұрын
But more to the point - how did you do the italics, Lynette?
@andreahoyosl2 жыл бұрын
True
@angaeltartarrose64843 жыл бұрын
"Being in a cult is exactly the same as being in a relationship with a narcissist." ~~Dr. Ramani Durvusula
@EverythingxBeautiful3 жыл бұрын
True…
@timmywitty14323 жыл бұрын
CULTure is a cult!
@justaconversation37293 жыл бұрын
Bravo! Where do you think the cults got it from? ...i mean ... really think about that ...they are always -- ALWAYS -- run by a Narcissist
@victoriacox89403 жыл бұрын
@Cyber Troll you must be as you are spending days looking at yourself in the mirror! Which I hate! I just see ugly! Which is sad right? And of course all your views are right! Right? I am definately not a narcissist!
@governingbodylanguage20253 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@Opo-D3 жыл бұрын
I love this, "Intimacy is a mutual exploration of a shared safe place, abuse is anything that takes away the safe place, and addictions are what we do to make ourselves feel good when we don't have a safe place."
@giuliadi13172 жыл бұрын
!!!!
@heyla84012 жыл бұрын
Mic Drop !
@JamieR2 жыл бұрын
Wow that hit hard. Wonderfully said! Exactly my experience...
@mrln042 жыл бұрын
That's a profound statement. He said a mouthful
@treverhutchison62582 жыл бұрын
Yep abuse is anything that takes away the safe place. Very true And the flying monkeys are pawns to do jus that. The whole NPD thing is amazing. These people need medication
@chakralove43003 жыл бұрын
I actually got with my husband because he was the man in the corner being quiet, nice, polite and reserved. He was not the charming, charismatic guy. He turned out to be a covert narcissistic so be careful because the nice quiet guy can be worse. At least you see the charming outgoing guy coming! lol
@rachelarmel75473 жыл бұрын
Excellent point.
@AlishaThomas1123 жыл бұрын
That's how I got caught too.
@martinworkens61303 жыл бұрын
They are like zombies!
@TaymaShine3 жыл бұрын
So don’t date anyone? Got it 👍
@achiengnyawade85403 жыл бұрын
I met this type too,infact,this thpe is downright psychopathic! I rem telling my friend,"I thought I knew what a narcissist looks like,how did I let this happen?!?!" I bought the polite,humble,quiet,agreeable guy narrative
@karlasnyder6452 жыл бұрын
I am 27 years old and I just realized that my father is a narcissist (no wonder why my codependent mother got cancer and had a nasty death.) Now I am realizing that I have attracted narcissistic men into my life. I'm leaving my boyfriend and allowing myself to heal.
@yuu_miran Жыл бұрын
How do you attract them? that's the concept ive been struggling to understand but no luck. its not like its written all over you 'narcs are welcome', right?
@ΒύρωναςΛαδιάς Жыл бұрын
@@yuu_miranthat’s the type of “love” you’re used to receiving by your parents so that’s what you expect from a partner too, unconsciously.
@yuu_miran Жыл бұрын
@@ΒύρωναςΛαδιάς no no i really dont expect that from them, i want healthy love and i do not intend to tolerate abuse
@helenf14393 жыл бұрын
"When someone shows you who they are, listen the first time." - Maya Angelou
@bjoyful21853 жыл бұрын
Correction: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”. Maya Angelou 🥰
@autumnbrown81583 жыл бұрын
Yes!!
@saramcdowell47353 жыл бұрын
Great advice!!!!👍🏻
@ntiffin723 жыл бұрын
I know….wish I’d read that quote in 2018!
@dlyteeats38683 жыл бұрын
MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME THIS....
@elizabethagnese54743 жыл бұрын
LACK OF EMPATHY IS THE FOUNDATIONAL BLOCK OF THE NARCISSIST. THANK YOU, DR. RAMANI.
@LunnaJannah3 жыл бұрын
Oh but they fake it so well
@HYTELES3 жыл бұрын
Lack of empathy is also presented in the sociopath and psychopath.
@paulao70223 жыл бұрын
I think the narcissist is a bully and can get mean and ugly. They make threats, if ya don't go along with them or don't want to do something for them. I have cut all ties, with a family member because of physical and mental abuse. I just couldn't take it anymore. It was starting to affect my health.
@pamelaannwalsh47773 жыл бұрын
Narcissist have no empathy.
@resilientangel59152 жыл бұрын
@@pamelaannwalsh4777 The one I know said that about me. It was so odd. Until, I realized, he needed to be credible in all of his bad behavior. Sickening, for him.
@paulineburke79653 жыл бұрын
I love you Dr Ramani! I parallel parent with a rich narcissict, have PTSD, receive no alimony, was forced out of the family home and alienated from my son. Fortunately I am a badass Irishwoman who refuses to be a victim so I got smart and informed. Now home owner, businesswoman, happily in a healthy relationship with my son and my gentleman partner. Much gratitude because I could only afford free recourses. 💚
@eurokay47553 жыл бұрын
Pauline Burke: You parallel parent with a narcissist who happens to have more money than he needs. YOU are the rich one because you have invested in your own growth, nurtured your primary relationships and the world is a better place because you're here.
@Leo-zo6cl3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Great job. I have a very similar story.
@AuntyGogo3 жыл бұрын
You go gal! Good for you!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story 🙏🏽
@beccasway72183 жыл бұрын
Wow... i have a similar story... thank you for sharing i feel stronger knowing im not alone! It has been a tough one learning to stand on my own and not playing the victim. Things will get better! Thx!
@marciawatley96593 жыл бұрын
Good for you!!
@tamrasuem96522 жыл бұрын
Married to Clergy for 40 years…discarded after 38… divorced at 40… I think I always knew something wasn’t right but choose to rise above because of my faith and the belief that “Love bares all things”. I feel things deeply and never wanted him to hurt, always blaming myself…giving him a pass because of his childhood abuse. I thought I was keeping it all contained in a nice little package until we lost our son tragically and my CN took a turn for the worst. Thank God I found this Dr. she has challenged me to see the truth. As they say the truth shall set you free and it has indeed set me free. I find I have to talk me empathic self into gettin with the program but moment by moment, day by day, video by video, I’m gaining strength and realizing this was never really in my control or my issue. Bless you Dr!
@duntane35732 жыл бұрын
Hi Tamra. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your son and suffered in your marriage. I am a Christian who is struggling with the impact of some of these personality traits on my mental health and sense of self. I would be grateful for your perspective and or your experience if you wouldn’t mind sharing ? Thanks
@mozartrn12 жыл бұрын
Not married to clergy but a professing Christian at a time I was very vernable and discovered it can be a mask. I didn't know as my conversion was radical under the grace of God. Roman's 5:1.
@Orius253 жыл бұрын
Finally, someone who can articulate narcissism properly and not just write 10,000 articles about "narcissist vs. empath". This was REALLY educational. Thank you!
@Miss_NatashaO3 жыл бұрын
Ever hear of a narcisstic rmpath? They're more prevalent than you think.
@Picca653 жыл бұрын
Follow her channel?
@annemiller82273 жыл бұрын
Started laughing again when she said that charismatic people scare her! AMEN!
@finewine19633 жыл бұрын
Charm is deception
@ladysigma96542 жыл бұрын
Yes. I never liked them. But I fell for the victim though. 🤦♀️ And f ucked my life entirely now as I have a 3 yo and I know what's comming if I leave. Because I didn't knew there was such type. Jesus Christ.... I just want a normal life. I feel cursed.
@annemiller82272 жыл бұрын
@@ladysigma9654 actually you don't know what happens if you leave. You DO know what happens if you stay. THAT'S the "hook" that keeps you trapped. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't " I was afraid of all the things I "didn't know" if I could handle *the unknown" so I stayed saying I could make it better. When I accepted "bad" things could happen if I left (and some bad DID happen.... but MORE good also happened. ) Also... your 3 year old will grow either to be like the narcissist or to be prey to a narcissist. Those are the only choices your child will know. I had a 3, 5 and 8 yr old when I left. They are all adults and I worry I should have left before they were born! (Ironic I know). But as long as you stay both you and your child continue to be injured psychologically (or more). If you are with a hidden narcissist (I could've been great but ..) at least the silver lining is that he's not going to be successful enough (or motivated enough) to be difficult to leave Just don't ever expect anything but trouble. I never fought for anything but custody No child support or anything else. It was too problematic for my ex to go to court to get custody so he encouraged our children to run away (thankfully only one listened). Its definitely not easy. But staying will be harder. But advice is always easy to give bc I don't have to live in your specific circumstance. But when you look back on your choices you can only really blame yourself. Good luck to you. It is very hard. No matter what you choose
@ysmithriley2 жыл бұрын
NOW YOU TELL ME‼️
@ms.turquoise63413 жыл бұрын
Once you get into a relationship with them: You start defending yourself, and over-explaining things. You are being gaslighted. Then you feel chronically invalidated, devalued, or crazy. Don't engage! Don't defend! Don't explain! Don't personalize!
@dr.z34263 жыл бұрын
Or you'll have way too many questions about things that don't seem right almost straightaway. I have super strict rules and I'm crystal clear about my boundaries it scares people away tho 🙃
Spot on 100% ... and I've stopped and they hate it 🤭
@anneoboyle4262 жыл бұрын
And, Don't Stay!!!
@victoriavictoria80742 жыл бұрын
Once you know, you go. Best decision of my life. Narc free over 3 years. Healing happened💜 Dr Ramani’s work opened my eyes. 🌟🦋🌸💎
@cannerobertson12 жыл бұрын
God she's brilliant. So articulate and insightful. Thank you for having her on.
@djladyjuicysimpson90532 жыл бұрын
Well said I agree 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👍🏿
@jill36862 жыл бұрын
She really LOVES what she does. Few are lucky to have this.
@cjk7063 Жыл бұрын
I love her. She saved my life!!
@alinamashi3 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramani and her knowledge on narcissism saved me in my darkest days! She approaches this personality disorder like no one has ever done it before and that's the reason she can help us to survive these relationships.
@philliphedges76573 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani, I am currently working towards a B.S in psychology. I then want to pursue a medical doctorate in psychiatry. Then work towards a PsyD in clinical psychology. I was viewing your videos on MedCircle and was at first, garnering information that I needed to brush up on. However, I came across a video in which you described your patients who suffer from Narcissism. The pervasive idea that you proposed, albeit not as an original thought formulated by you, as a clinician alone, but a common “joke” among medical/ mental health care workers; That Narcissistic people Cannot be helped. And in your opinion, they are all “ASSHOLES”. Dr. Ramani you further went on to politicize a medical mental disorder that individuals SUFFER from to feed your own unhealthy ego or unregulated self-narcissism. As a clinician, a PhD, you should do well to remember why you are in this profession in the first place. Dr. Ramani you state over and over that you need to “know more about a patient” or you “need to know more about an individual’s long standing/repeating patterns.”, to diagnose. Yet, in one foul swoop you not only diagnosed a President whom you do not know nor treat but you then maligned a whole segment of the American population by intimating that Narcissism is what President Trump has, not suffers from; therefore, all the republican party are diagnosed with Narcissism. Dr. Ramani there are three issues at hand. First you gave your own uncensored opinion about patients and non-patients (the president of the United States) and by your own words on camera, those who are narcissistic are condemned by your own feelings towards those patients alone. You then go on to about politics. Not medicine. You then went on to call patients, who are indeed SUFFERING, Assholes. Dr. James Masterson M.D has a wealth of knowledge on the therapeutic alliance. He expounds on how, a clinician can withstand the brokenness of the patient in question (negative cross-transference or Counter-Transference), while at the same time protecting yourself from yourself (as the clinician). The problem may dwell in the patient, but it is the “problems dwelling within the Clinician” that in all actuality are the determining factors in that clinician’s ability to “treat”, “Help, HEAL. All “Patients” are suffering. It’s your lack of “Patients” and technical ability that fails those patients; The patients that you openly deemed untreatable. Yes, there is a broken infrastructure, there is a broken system. There are many variables that impede an individual to 1. Receive help 2. Find the right Help 3. And pay. However, to brand those who are suffering even that, “Narcissist”, who is in fact SUFFERING; Is an incredibly egregious failure on that “clinicians” part. The DSM is a check list, that you’ve seemed to have memorized. But by no means do you give any depth or brevity to what those diagnoses mean to layman by way of example. There is a regurgitation of common knowledge (so long as a person has the internet). Dr. Ramani I say all this with due respect. I also have to say a clinician’s political stand, or favorite color does not matter!! NOT in the clinical setting! As a doctor with a PhD, one would assume that you would be well versed in theory, statistics, and longitudinal research and then realize maybe that is where you should stay. In a Lab. All those that say they are helping, should take pause and wonder, am I helping? Healing? There are many whom are afflicted and just as many who don’t know that they too suffer in affliction. There are many who have degrees but don’t have truth. Dr. Eleanor Greenburg has a perspective that was taught especially to her through the Gestalt perspective. Maybe Dr. Ramani it would be worth looking into, not only for your patients but for your own soul. P.S I’m not trying to be rude. I am an avid lover of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Including you Dr. Ramani. Phillip H.
@adebisiarewa62282 жыл бұрын
Every opportunistic behavior, evinced chronic narcissism. That's while most successful people make the bill
@keepingitreal-thatsright2 жыл бұрын
@@philliphedges7657 You do realize your response is to and under Alina Mashi MEDIA. Not directly to Dr. Ramani. I doubt she will see this comment. This isn't even her channel. If you feel this strongly about her then perhaps you will reach out to her directly on HER channel or email her.
@lauraw.70083 жыл бұрын
"Forgiveness is personal. It doesn't always happen. The real goal is letting go - I am no longer going to carry this burden around. And I do feel resentful-you changed my life and I don't like it," Powerful. Thank you
@adiconstantin45983 жыл бұрын
Indeed. The first step, the one of letting go, is so great. Also, sometimes we can think that we forgave everyone, as we do want to forgive, yet in time, we may discover that we are still resentfull of what they did to us, meaning we want to stay apart from them, or we suspect them to repeat that deed. So, letting go is what permits us to go on with our lovely life
@countrybabe11112 жыл бұрын
"Forgive to be Forgiven" It isnt just about letting go..its about getting yourself correct with... "Jehovah GOD" 😉
@labeaulieu24652 жыл бұрын
Yes this! I needed this and the brilliant answer to make the narc happy and still live a life true to himself yet not harming others..... what a wonderful solution, and good to know there is help! Made a huge difference in my life. I got to the trying to detach and let go, I needed to hear the other issues about the difference between narc behavior and autistic spectrum, now if your incredible brain power could be cast in the direction of co morbidity with autism, DID and transgender issues, how they sometimes appear narcissistic and how to delineate the difference in such a mess of diagnosis, or even if there is confusion between DID and transgender by the medical /therapeutic community , or even the connection between autism and transgender , and DID maybe there is a true cross over. My concern being that I see a trend in transgender community and in treatment with the added diagnosis of autistic and DID leading to an unusually larger proportion /percentage of transgender people being diagnosed with both of these other two issues, in particular my curiosity is with the DID aspect of this trend that bothers me since it is supposed to be very rare.......... also mistreating transgender people , or non binary people automatically like they have DID because of their gender is inaccurate and grossly abusive to an already marginalized population of people both autistic and transgender.
@gymather30972 жыл бұрын
@@countrybabe1111 freedom of religion protects us from people like you
@shellbell80622 жыл бұрын
@@countrybabe1111 Amen, this is why we are to seek biblical wisdom before the wisdom of men.
@roleat3 жыл бұрын
She is a wonderful woman, so educated and willing to empower others. Thank the cosmos for her.
@catlove52273 жыл бұрын
And very passionate woman
@adabrosier78543 жыл бұрын
Amen to all of that!
@philliphedges76573 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani, I am currently working towards a B.S in psychology. I then want to pursue a medical doctorate in psychiatry. Then work towards a PsyD in clinical psychology. I was viewing your videos on MedCircle and was at first, garnering information that I needed to brush up on. However, I came across a video in which you described your patients who suffer from Narcissism. The pervasive idea that you proposed, albeit not as an original thought formulated by you, as a clinician alone, but a common “joke” among medical/ mental health care workers; That Narcissistic people Cannot be helped. And in your opinion, they are all “ASSHOLES”. Dr. Ramani you further went on to politicize a medical mental disorder that individuals SUFFER from to feed your own unhealthy ego or unregulated self-narcissism. As a clinician, a PhD, you should do well to remember why you are in this profession in the first place. Dr. Ramani you state over and over that you need to “know more about a patient” or you “need to know more about an individual’s long standing/repeating patterns.”, to diagnose. Yet, in one foul swoop you not only diagnosed a President whom you do not know nor treat but you then maligned a whole segment of the American population by intimating that Narcissism is what President Trump has, not suffers from; therefore, all the republican party are diagnosed with Narcissism. Dr. Ramani there are three issues at hand. First you gave your own uncensored opinion about patients and non-patients (the president of the United States) and by your own words on camera, those who are narcissistic are condemned by your own feelings towards those patients alone. You then go on to about politics. Not medicine. You then went on to call patients, who are indeed SUFFERING, Assholes. Dr. James Masterson M.D has a wealth of knowledge on the therapeutic alliance. He expounds on how, a clinician can withstand the brokenness of the patient in question (negative cross-transference or Counter-Transference), while at the same time protecting yourself from yourself (as the clinician). The problem may dwell in the patient, but it is the “problems dwelling within the Clinician” that in all actuality are the determining factors in that clinician’s ability to “treat”, “Help, HEAL. All “Patients” are suffering. It’s your lack of “Patients” and technical ability that fails those patients; The patients that you openly deemed untreatable. Yes, there is a broken infrastructure, there is a broken system. There are many variables that impede an individual to 1. Receive help 2. Find the right Help 3. And pay. However, to brand those who are suffering even that, “Narcissist”, who is in fact SUFFERING; Is an incredibly egregious failure on that “clinicians” part. The DSM is a check list, that you’ve seemed to have memorized. But by no means do you give any depth or brevity to what those diagnoses mean to layman by way of example. There is a regurgitation of common knowledge (so long as a person has the internet). Dr. Ramani I say all this with due respect. I also have to say a clinician’s political stand, or favorite color does not matter!! NOT in the clinical setting! As a doctor with a PhD, one would assume that you would be well versed in theory, statistics, and longitudinal research and then realize maybe that is where you should stay. In a Lab. All those that say they are helping, should take pause and wonder, am I helping? Healing? There are many whom are afflicted and just as many who don’t know that they too suffer in affliction. There are many who have degrees but don’t have truth. Dr. Eleanor Greenburg has a perspective that was taught especially to her through the Gestalt perspective. Maybe Dr. Ramani it would be worth looking into, not only for your patients but for your own soul. P.S I’m not trying to be rude. I am an avid lover of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Including you Dr. Ramani. Phillip H.
@retard_activated2 жыл бұрын
She is an angel and a TRUE AMBASSADOR FOR ALL HUMANS.
@mariagill51832 жыл бұрын
@@philliphedges7657 Narcissism should be a punishable crime. Narcissistic people cannot be rehabilitated or taught to manage their tendencies - it is their life force. They live on it and torture and eventually destroy people with it. Treating it as though it's a mental illness would be like trying to rehabilitate a cannibalistic serial killer.
@SJ-nu1ou2 жыл бұрын
When a teacher asks her students for advice, that is a clear example to show what a wonderful teacher she is. Kudos to your whole team for coming to the KZbin platform and educating/empowering us.
@marcialao75893 жыл бұрын
30 years as a mental health counselor....only after watching Dr. Ramani's videos and hanging onto her every word, do I realize that "if you understand narcissism, you understand mental health"!Fantastic interview! Thank you Joe and Dr. Ramani.❤️
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
marcia lao,You look cute 🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
@blindandok14153 жыл бұрын
30 years? Lmao!
@javiervidal3663 жыл бұрын
Agree 💯. Most training programs don't really focus on personality disorders and certainly not to the depth that Dr Ramani covers this topic. Mental health is good at a couple of areas (treating depression, anxiety etc) but mostly ignores personality topics mainly because they are so hard to treat effectively.
@dianawelles17263 жыл бұрын
You just brought me to tears. Thank you for what you do. I'm the old lady who's finally found out what's been wrong forever. I get to fix it. Oh my God that is so awesome. Thank you
@javiervidal3663 жыл бұрын
Yes, sometimes it takes decades to figure out what's really going on. And when it finally makes sense, it's like your eyes have been opened for the very first time and can everything so clearly.
@guidinglightorphansinc.52552 жыл бұрын
@@javiervidal366 very true, it has taken me so long to figure this out unfortunately the damage is done to a point of panick attacks 😢 😞
@itisfinishednowtimetoclean27232 жыл бұрын
@@guidinglightorphansinc.5255 I too suffer the panic attacks. Please know, there is Hope for you. I was in counseling for years and learned coping skills. One major insight for me was that these happen often when I felt trapped. As my counseling progressed and I regained my revelation of my own power, and understood I was not trapped, I learned skills, EMDR, etc., there is Great Hope! Please know that. Sending you hope for healing…
@Djfmdotcom2 жыл бұрын
Isn't that amazing? We GET to fix it. Once I realized that I felt such a sense of hope. I wish you well on your journey :)
@CreativeCreaturefx3 жыл бұрын
What an intelligent, articulate woman Dr. Ramani is! I cannot get enough of listening her. She's got so much wit and so descriptive. She knows exactly what to say and how.
@lynette5992 жыл бұрын
And the passion she speaks with really draws one in....
@terrymaynard18162 жыл бұрын
Echo
@socialmails54212 жыл бұрын
She's a narcissist, people will wake up to it eventually
@meredithheath52722 жыл бұрын
She is a National Treasure!!
@susangeorge86812 жыл бұрын
I found myself after 14 years of narcissistic abuse by my ex husband and I transformed so much that I find joy in empowering those similarly affected. I am happy on my own now. Yay!!
@countrybabe11112 жыл бұрын
Susan thats great, I got rid of my man too & I am so much better now that noone can abuse me unless I allow it.. I'm staying single too, way to scared to meet another malignant narcississt... "Free to be me!!" 😁
@indervirsidhu85492 жыл бұрын
@@countrybabe1111 God bless you always.
@countrybabe11112 жыл бұрын
@@indervirsidhu8549 Thank you much! 🤗
@wanderingfree1493 жыл бұрын
Dr. RAMNI is amazing. She's really educated society about narcassist. Love her!
@giantham28283 жыл бұрын
You needed to double check Her with your parents kid
@MichelleAmalfitanoTwilight19873 жыл бұрын
Facts
@radhakavipurapu4323 жыл бұрын
If we had known about this earlier
@giantham28283 жыл бұрын
@@radhakavipurapu432 she is the ruler of uncertain minds
@gracelilyyoshua3283 жыл бұрын
GREAT AWAKENING 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥⚡ time for GREAT SHALOM PEACE Love Joy Peace 💖🕊️
@VT-di1jx3 жыл бұрын
I was married to a "noble" narcissist for 25 years. Love that term. He transported rescue dogs with his private plane. I was the one who suggested it. I said "As long as you're going to waste time and money flying around, do some good while you're doing it." Perfect gig for a narcissist. He was in newspaper articles all over the country, and the rescue world is filled with perfect YOUNG narcissist vulnerable supply. When he left me for one of them, he left me to take care of HIS dogs, never to inquire about or care to see them again. You just can't make this stuff up.
@velvetindigonight3 жыл бұрын
Ouch................ you must so appreciate finding Dr R? Mine was a little less glamouros but guess who walked the dogs et al?................... that's right me.............. But supposedly he was the one who 'loved' them .................... I learn't a lot and am soo glad to be 'free' now................. Enjoy
@kangarookids74973 жыл бұрын
He is not worth the time. You will have much better things to do after you are recovered. All the best.🙋🌹
@defenderofdharma9833 жыл бұрын
Praying for your recovery.
@miriamhavard76213 жыл бұрын
I don't know if your ex was a narcissist, but the past is past, hope you have a better future 🌺
@prettypenne6623 жыл бұрын
Yep mine loves to visit animal shelters. After I adopted animals. It was his big awhhhh moment easy supply with helpers in shelters. Fning sick.
@naturalmystic10753 жыл бұрын
I love the way Dr. Ramani just puts it out there. Straightforward. That is what is needed. There is no way of fixing a narcissist. The only thing to do is get away from them.
@RearviewWisdom2 жыл бұрын
With 30% of the population being narcissistic I think that’s a hopeless and dismissive way to address the issue. These are peoples kids, spouses, sibilants etc. The fact that she said all forms of narcism start with human circumstance and experience tells me there is redemptive measures that can be taken but maybe we aren’t quite there yet. I just feel like the term narcism can and will become as meaningless as the word racists in time to come if we don’t emphasize the humanization of these individuals .
@mariemason42522 жыл бұрын
@@RearviewWisdom If you figure out how to reach these people and "help" them, please, please, let us all know!
@lauraforconi91112 жыл бұрын
YES, WALK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@illuminatedbestchoice10422 жыл бұрын
The more I learn the stronger I am to move forward. Thank you Dr.
@jaa_41663 жыл бұрын
Finally someone to tell me I don’t need to forgive my abuser. Letting go with indifference. Thanks so much Joe and Dr. Durvasula ❣️
@mushizzle43993 жыл бұрын
I know what you mean however I also know we Kinda do have to forgive all the assholes because for me if I don’t then I don’t have the ability to be blissful which I enjoy very much. I’ve lived through a lot of abuse. And you might already know this but I struggled with this so I just wanna make sure you understand this because you’re forgiving them not to excuse their bad behavior by any means but so you’re not caring it around basically and letting it affect every single day of the rest of your life and all your relationships. For whatever reason I had incorrect definition of forgiveness. I associated it with religion and immediately I would kill the messenger Instead of listening to the solution and I missed out on a lot of good information because of that but once I became aware of it then I could stop it. and not listen anymore. ***Hugs***
@joincoffee93833 жыл бұрын
@@mushizzle4399 are you a narcissist trying to persuading victims to forgive you?
@Username74-b8h3 жыл бұрын
I needed that too
@PPMOCRG3 жыл бұрын
@@mushizzle4399 Forgiveness is a personal thing that each of us has to handle in our own way, whatever that is.
@mushizzle43993 жыл бұрын
@@joincoffee9383 lolll I asked the same question. Many times. not about the forgiving the victims because I don’t really have any but my parents got theirDespicable coping skills thrown back in their face many times when I was pushed enough. I was raised by a variety of disorder people and I have a little bit of all of them in me and I have been to the Darkside and I have been to the light side and Ill take the light side hands down every time because I would feel awful if I treat people the way they do. Took me a while to figure it out and nobody ever explain narcissism like this to me I had to date someone to really get it but actually the narcissist I dated showed me a website about narcissism because he wasn’t able to upset me Covertly he had to spell it out for me and tell me that my happiness made him and unhappy. That was a fun experience for sure. So join coffee has anyone ever explained to you how our words say a whole lot more about ourselves than they do about whoever it is you think you’re referring to? Lol. That’s my response to your question and I definitely have some dark traits but I do care about how I make people feel. But having a little bit of grandiosity kept to myself basically isn’t all that horrible considering I didn’t have a lot of things to help with my confidence?! LolI I like that answer. We know what we know until we know something else and my life has been a process a peeling back the layers like an onion removing a veil that was keeping me from seeing things as they are and even then it wouldn’t of explained narcissism to me because my brain doesn’t work like that. I just really started to understand this about six months ago and I am 50 years old. And while I would’ve liked to known about this stuff when I was a kid I’m just grateful I got it now because I look past so many things with people or I did and I don’t wanna waste my time With someone that would walk away from me in a few minutes because I spoke my truth one time lol. ***Hugs***
@christina91x3 жыл бұрын
I looove that she swears!!! Because honestly being in a relationship with a toxic person is really fucked up!
@rochelledavenport40543 жыл бұрын
Hear hear! There's simply no polite way of putting it ;)
@Jillian603 жыл бұрын
My narcissits abuse me and threaten me if I swear...yet guess who taught me those swears? Anyway, I like that Dr Ramani says it how it is...
@latosharice42623 жыл бұрын
Right dealing with one you feel the need to swear.... It's almost impossible not too
@christina91x3 жыл бұрын
@@latosharice4262 and calling them a a.......... almost feels to nice! 😂🤦🏻♀️
@momfromnj9113 жыл бұрын
That's all I did with my narc...either cried or cursed him out
@ClanHappy3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for addressing the "spoiled" child/narcissist adult. I don't think this is talked about enough. The narcissist I had to deal with for 13 years was a spoiled brat who never learned shame/compassion as a child, got everything they wanted, learned to manipulate to get, lie and cheat.
@lifelessonswithjo3 жыл бұрын
Get the book Healing the Shame that Bings You from John Bradshaw.
@heide-raquelfuss55803 жыл бұрын
Some are indeed, spoiled little todlers, who had everythibg they wanted. Love, affection, time...and the vomfort and goodies, they desired. And a no, was not there, because the parents loved him so much. In their vocabulary a NO, do not exist. They are not even smart enough, to understand, that parents are parents, but the rest of the world are not his parents.
@deankereiakes7993 жыл бұрын
Yes that’s exactly the way a spoiled narcissistic child as an adult acts in a dating situation. Lies when u tell him he Dosenthave too abs I’d be happy eith a good friendship rather than a half hearted affair ir mediocre marriage he made sure I hit the lousy fake friend snd the whole time begging me to marry When u says no he persisted until it Judy gif so obvious I felt silly every conversation we had never connected Ted snd eitjdnt leave me alone
@susanrhodes56813 жыл бұрын
K Mck - I agree. That is seldom mentioned and I've had many narcs including parents and spouse, close friends, people I dated etc. I dismissed the possibility they might be narcs until this video and I've watched Dr. Ramani for 2 years now.
@Sooner-im9qf3 жыл бұрын
@@lifelessonswithjo ...Binds You... Yes it is a great book! And Bradshaw On The Family is another great book by him! Love Bradshaw. RIP
@NancyRodrigoStudio2 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani is a genius. She is changing the landscape of the mental health, deeply understands the urgency needed to intervene on our very sick society. Her message is changing and saving lives, including mine: having survived narcissistic parents, deep thanks.
@meredithheath52722 жыл бұрын
Nancy: Yes - She is!! A National Treasure!!!
@momfromnj9113 жыл бұрын
I love this woman I was with a narcissist for a year and a half. You don't realize how toxic your life is until you leave them
@vibehigh52803 жыл бұрын
Right!!
@maslinebere26223 жыл бұрын
Still trying to recover after 2 yrs break up
@momfromnj9113 жыл бұрын
@@maslinebere2622 I still love him but realize he is not good for me and you have to love yourself more 🥰
@maranatha81483 жыл бұрын
So very true. I'm hanging onto what life I can muster after losing everything.
@shirleymccowan74023 жыл бұрын
You mean that you didn't realize how toxic you were to this woman you loved until you leave them because the relationship didn't work out?
@APF20243 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramani, YOU saved my life , all my life I have been under a number of Narcissistic Tyranny , by MY Mum, MY Teen Love and MY wife, Last year after watching your videos, I realized what was going on, and now I am under treatment. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I watch every video you upload.
@penelopehammerton29073 жыл бұрын
Well done you for recognising you needed treatment and getting it. Wishing you all the best for your future x :)
@SkinMaMi3 жыл бұрын
In the same boat!!! Thank goodness for people like her sharing free knowledge on KZbin!!!
@philliphedges76573 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani, I am currently working towards a B.S in psychology. I then want to pursue a medical doctorate in psychiatry. Then work towards a PsyD in clinical psychology. I was viewing your videos on MedCircle and was at first, garnering information that I needed to brush up on. However, I came across a video in which you described your patients who suffer from Narcissism. The pervasive idea that you proposed, albeit not as an original thought formulated by you, as a clinician alone, but a common “joke” among medical/ mental health care workers; That Narcissistic people Cannot be helped. And in your opinion, they are all “ASSHOLES”. Dr. Ramani you further went on to politicize a medical mental disorder that individuals SUFFER from to feed your own unhealthy ego or unregulated self-narcissism. As a clinician, a PhD, you should do well to remember why you are in this profession in the first place. Dr. Ramani you state over and over that you need to “know more about a patient” or you “need to know more about an individual’s long standing/repeating patterns.”, to diagnose. Yet, in one foul swoop you not only diagnosed a President whom you do not know nor treat but you then maligned a whole segment of the American population by intimating that Narcissism is what President Trump has, not suffers from; therefore, all the republican party are diagnosed with Narcissism. Dr. Ramani there are three issues at hand. First you gave your own uncensored opinion about patients and non-patients (the president of the United States) and by your own words on camera, those who are narcissistic are condemned by your own feelings towards those patients alone. You then go on to about politics. Not medicine. You then went on to call patients, who are indeed SUFFERING, Assholes. Dr. James Masterson M.D has a wealth of knowledge on the therapeutic alliance. He expounds on how, a clinician can withstand the brokenness of the patient in question (negative cross-transference or Counter-Transference), while at the same time protecting yourself from yourself (as the clinician). The problem may dwell in the patient, but it is the “problems dwelling within the Clinician” that in all actuality are the determining factors in that clinician’s ability to “treat”, “Help, HEAL. All “Patients” are suffering. It’s your lack of “Patients” and technical ability that fails those patients; The patients that you openly deemed untreatable. Yes, there is a broken infrastructure, there is a broken system. There are many variables that impede an individual to 1. Receive help 2. Find the right Help 3. And pay. However, to brand those who are suffering even that, “Narcissist”, who is in fact SUFFERING; Is an incredibly egregious failure on that “clinicians” part. The DSM is a check list, that you’ve seemed to have memorized. But by no means do you give any depth or brevity to what those diagnoses mean to layman by way of example. There is a regurgitation of common knowledge (so long as a person has the internet). Dr. Ramani I say all this with due respect. I also have to say a clinician’s political stand, or favorite color does not matter!! NOT in the clinical setting! As a doctor with a PhD, one would assume that you would be well versed in theory, statistics, and longitudinal research and then realize maybe that is where you should stay. In a Lab. All those that say they are helping, should take pause and wonder, am I helping? Healing? There are many whom are afflicted and just as many who don’t know that they too suffer in affliction. There are many who have degrees but don’t have truth. Dr. Eleanor Greenburg has a perspective that was taught especially to her through the Gestalt perspective. Maybe Dr. Ramani it would be worth looking into, not only for your patients but for your own soul. P.S I’m not trying to be rude. I am an avid lover of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Including you Dr. Ramani. Phillip H.
@jubs27803 жыл бұрын
Never forgive a narcissist, forgive yourself, leave them and live the life you choose to control.
@frankrault31903 жыл бұрын
Meaning to say that there's a whole group of people out there that shouldn't be forgiven at all?
@makeupunlimited3 жыл бұрын
@@frankrault3190 forgive them, but from far away.
@makeupunlimited3 жыл бұрын
forgive them for your own wellbeing, but far far away from them.
@judysmith32493 жыл бұрын
Jubs27. I am a Christian, follower of Christ. He forgave us, so I will forgive. It's hard but with Christ I can . My ex has never admitted or apologized for the hell and evil he put me through.
@KingMinosxxvi3 жыл бұрын
"Never"...Oh thats a good attitude.
@robertsinnerman78043 жыл бұрын
Love what she has to say about influencers, online life coaches etc: "It's that 'be positive' is a form of mental control. The guru can dictate that for others rather than being empathic, and literally meeting a person where they're at. Grief takes time. Trauma takes time to process. Hurt needs to be processed on the individual's time. Saying 'be happy' because I'm telling you to be happy is completely un-empathic, but yet here we are." My god, that rang true.
@Hooray3212 жыл бұрын
Absolutely love this too! I feel so abandoned by humanity when I hear them say "be positive", it removes them from any responsibility to be compassionate with you, and they free themselves from any accountability of their actions in their role or relationship in your life. Really, it is as disturbing as thinking about seeing a child who has just had a scary fall in the playground, and responding to them by saying "be positive", it is a totally inappropriate response. Thank you for sharing your reflections, I really appreciate it.
@robertsinnerman78042 жыл бұрын
@@Hooray321 Thank for sharing your reflections too, I also really appreciate it!
@tarable77782 жыл бұрын
That’s my life motto, just don’t worry be happy. Although I’m miserable inside. It real,y is annoying my counselor…lol
@tarable77782 жыл бұрын
@@Hooray321 sometimes, like in my case, my life sucked my mom left us with an alcoholic father and we were the epitome of poor growing up. But my dad and the church (we are strong catholic) said to just ignore it and pretend to be happy all the time. My whole life I have put all the bad [there are Alot] into some boxes in my head. My biggest Fear, is I get Alzheimer’s and those boxes open!
@robinantonio8870 Жыл бұрын
I had a counsellor who told me I was choosing to be unhappy after I lost my career ,.and everything, and tried to kill myself because I could not afford to live,because I made my narcissistic nursing colleagues report their drug errors and they set out to destroy me. I know more about narcissists than she did!!!
@kathy2593 жыл бұрын
Our World leaders are narcissists. It's so important to get this message out.
@Serenityfor13 жыл бұрын
Trump is a classic example. So are many Democrats.
@amber404943 жыл бұрын
@@Serenityfor1 theyre everywhere. It's disturbing that they run the country
@naughtycouple89583 жыл бұрын
I just watched an amazing TEDtalk...called something like Why Incompetent Men Become Leaders if you enter incompetent men leaders into the KZbin search bar, it will pop right up.
@bigceazer3 жыл бұрын
@@Serenityfor1 ALL of our Presidents were narcissists not just Trump. its common place in that field. we have psychopaths in congress and as governors. scary thought.
@PingvinasBuratinas3 жыл бұрын
Not just leaders.
@carolashlee80023 жыл бұрын
I so glad you mentioned that word be. BE POSITIVE I HATE the word. My son had Leukaemia BE POSITIVE He died BE POSITIVE I left a narcissist BE POSITIVE My daughter has lupus BE POSITIVE I have auto immune diseases BE POSITIVE let’s just get real and let people FEEL what they feel. My son was terrified of dying but constantly told BE POSITIVE
@guntaf13493 жыл бұрын
Hugs
@tonia.58613 жыл бұрын
I’m really sorry 😞
@crissoa3 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry. That must have been frustrating. People are allowed to have more than one emotion.
@hotmomma15523 жыл бұрын
It’s sad that people act like it’s not normal to be in your feelings! It helps you to regroup! To get into a place of peace! But in your own time of course! I lost a son to also! I understand what you’re saying totally!
@kateann45583 жыл бұрын
And so irritating if someone belittle your problem or experiences like their are other people who have more problem than you be grateful
@bekkaadair8543 жыл бұрын
this woman is a much needed gift in a society riddled w narcissism. thank you for helping her spread the word!
@maryaubin54482 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for saying I don't have to forgive my narcissist. After 32 years of marriage 36 years of relationship, he turned my world upside down. He tried to triangulate my children, I had to give up a job I loved, my home that we built together, I relocated to another state to find a new job and I don't think any of that deserves forgiveness! It's been 5 years and I'm still feeling the ramifications of what he did.
@luiseduardomejicano3 жыл бұрын
Best video about narcissisms I've seen so far, loved the phrase: "knowing about narcissism is knowing about mental health". This should be though on school!
@edithcasines95502 жыл бұрын
Ll
@gwendolynkaren59332 жыл бұрын
So you made it through the first two minutes
@FredWoodard3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani is a master communicator! I watch her videos daily. I’ve learned a lot!
@teachersusanute1993 жыл бұрын
This woman is changing so many lives! She is wonderful
@Marely20302 жыл бұрын
I've been living with a narcissist for 7 years now, and I feel empty and deeply depressed. I can not leave so I'm in prison, he has taken everything away from me! I just recommend women if you encounter a narcissistic man you must run away before it is too late.
@fuzzyx2face2 жыл бұрын
I hope you find a way out, you can do it
@RashedaF2 жыл бұрын
It’s not late for you either. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob can deliver you and He will once you are willing and believe that He can and will, it is at that point He shows up
@gallegoc60052 жыл бұрын
Can explain what is He doing to make you feel that way Very interested for my own marriage I am confused whether i am the problem or my partner is Can you explain a little more Will appreciate much
@andreahoyosl2 жыл бұрын
Are you ok? Im sure there is a way out! Where do you live?
@ultimateoptimist52172 жыл бұрын
Why can't you leave?
@jenniferfletcher663 жыл бұрын
I attracted narcissistic men until I had therapy. Now I’m ‘good’ and can usually recognize them after they open their mouths.
@2Ryled3 жыл бұрын
Usually they are your best friend right away, and want to have a fake heart to heart wanting to know about your past. Not bc they are interested, its to gain info to smear you with it as soon as you see thru them.
@ColaBling3 жыл бұрын
Exactly right, diagnoses happens within the first 2 minutes 😂😂😂🤪
@amber404943 жыл бұрын
Don't you mean you were attracted to them?
@hollycat61523 жыл бұрын
good job
@victoriabishop10573 жыл бұрын
@@2Ryled Is it possible leaving one narcissistic and then coming under the influence of another. I seems to pick those type of people and get hurt. My brother is one of those. For the world he is a wonderful soul. His wife and I know different side of him.
@Angus19663 жыл бұрын
Narcissistic parents do the real damage , the child is dependent for some years . The child will surely suffer disadvantage .
@2Ryled3 жыл бұрын
Yes but also they will attract narcs. I realized that happened sev times. And now I see I had 4 narcs growing up so I have to be careful. I attract them and get burned every time
@miriamhavard76213 жыл бұрын
True.
@miriamhavard76213 жыл бұрын
@@2Ryled also true.
@SolKiLittleSun3 жыл бұрын
I have NPD parents. Then NPD friend. Then Malignant NPD boss. Yes, I did attract to the same kind of evil. That's why I need to learn from Dr. Ramani
@a.k.emerson17053 жыл бұрын
@@2Ryled yes, we do tend to attract them. They can smell that we are their kind of prey, and attract them to us unconsciously or subconsciously. It's hard to end the relationship with the narcissist, some days I feel like I won't be able to do it. I have two I am up against. One I trust to a degree, but I trust. The other one, well I trust that one would throw me in front of a bus to save themselves at all costs...They make you dependent and exercise undue influence that's hard to escape without an attorney or risking the "you're nuts, lady" look from any and all judges or attorneys if I walked up to the bench bc I'd be up there pro se. These apps all have ToS's binding arbitration agreements written in them. It means if you ever want to get Justice for something where a ToS stated you agree to "binding arbitration", they get to choose who the arbitrator is, and you present evidence for your case, aka you're on trial and so are they but with a huge advantage, so why not go pro se in a public court room? Same thing, now!
@shubhisharma42613 жыл бұрын
Being with a narcissist can really affect your mental emotional physical health.constant stress fear can develop disease in your body.
@francoisgouws72883 жыл бұрын
Chronic pain!
@mandolaa3 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@dorothyoputa76273 жыл бұрын
You’re right!
@ericab9363 жыл бұрын
That is so true. It leaves u scared. I am afraid to date because of my experience. If I didn’t have my kids I don’t know what I’d do.
@judysmith32493 жыл бұрын
@@ericab936 Yes, it leaves you scared. I stayed 28 years.
@SparkSeekerZankri2 жыл бұрын
Her book, 'Do I Stay or Do I Go,' informed my divorce from a 28 year relationship, a 22 year marriage, and SAVED MY LIFE. 💯
@lornai71713 жыл бұрын
Ramani is the best. Lucid, concise, funny and likeable.
@stephanierusso40263 жыл бұрын
She’s so brilliant
@RebeccaSmith-tk4zy3 жыл бұрын
Long ago, it became apparent my ex was passive-aggressive, but this interview just made me realize that he was also a covert narcissist. Thank you for the retroactive chills running down my spine.
@linros1872 жыл бұрын
Passive aggressiveness and covert narcissism go hand in hand, I too discovered the passive aggressiveness first and years later the covert narcissism
@rachellydy33672 жыл бұрын
My ex used to brag he was passive aggressive. It took me 2.5 years to recognize he was also a covert Narc. I had never heard of a covert narc.
@jbuntine12552 жыл бұрын
Borderline personality disorder / Narcissistic . Similar with the mood disorder . Trying to come to grips with this my ex was addicted to porn / etho / drugs trying to constantly fill the void . And 0 intamacy with erectile distinction ....Wow lm learning.
@glendacollins28982 жыл бұрын
Another tell is an overblown self interest to the detriment of anything or anyone else. No matter what the subject, it's always quickly back to them.
@karenmininni49622 жыл бұрын
I so much love Dr. Ramani. She says in this video that "nobody is talking about the elephant in the room that is personality." She is amazing to then devote so much of her practice to exposing this spiritual entity we can rise above.
@priyao50973 жыл бұрын
Her fight for justice is so inspirational as a fellow south Asian woman! You go dr. Ramani!
@nikkigargin20073 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramani inspires me to further my knowledge. I’m a mental health nurse who I aiming to do medicine and be a psychiatrist. I can guarantee she knows a hell of a lot more than a lot of psychiatrists, so I am learning from her for my professional future ❤️
@Yellow-Rose3 жыл бұрын
In that case you will be a damn fine mental health professional!
@angelielohim61473 жыл бұрын
Wow. I would love to be a psychiatrist too. Sadly I can’t as I don’t have help n I have a son that needs my care
@velvetindigonight3 жыл бұрын
@@angelielohim6147 We can all work on being 'wise' in our everyday lives though? I find KZbin great for 'self directed' learning. Maybe in our next lives?! Enjoy
@velvetindigonight3 жыл бұрын
@@Yellow-Rose Agreed were studying with the best! Enjoy
@hindsightpov42183 жыл бұрын
Wow. My comment got deleted. I was only trying to help by sharing my personal experience of my treatment from the mental health field. I didn’t mean any harm. 😕
@Michael_RareZebra3 жыл бұрын
💯% agree with the 7:00 section. Sooo many narcissists hide behind the "positive mindset" mantra.
@sparklerette2 жыл бұрын
Dr. R doesn’t know me, but she is on my short list of super hero women and is one of my very best friends. Thanks, Dr. Ramani, you’ve helped this old lady finally begin to understand and actually see happiness ahead!
@louiseesterhuizen3 жыл бұрын
Hi @Drramani, I read your book “Should I stay or should I go” about 4 years ago and it truly changed my life and I became aware of narcissism. I didn’t realize that I attracted narcissists to me because I didn’t love myself. It wasn’t until I loved myself that I attracted a non-narcissist and we have been together now for almost 3 years 😍. Unfortunately narcissism destroy lives 😢
@privateaccountfor12523 жыл бұрын
People also get into these type relationships, with personality disordered type individuals, when they are vulnerable. Women often get into relationships with abusers during vulnerable times when other, healthy support systems, are not in place. Cheers!
@mysticjen3793 жыл бұрын
Setting boundaries and not allowing everyone to have a piece of you is something I have found helpful in my own journey. Quickest way to detect a narcissistically inclined person in your life? Set a boundary 🙂
@christina91x3 жыл бұрын
Well I got in one of those relationships because I just didn't know what was happening and as well the hardest part was to accept that I have fallen in love with a monster. I do love myself and for me the hardest part was to understand that I couldn't leave just as I wanted to and I started to hate myself because of it. A lot stay in those relationships because they always see the good in people and want to help.
@privateaccountfor12523 жыл бұрын
@@mysticjen379 true- life gets hard when one gets targeted by organized gang stalking. I've survived at least 25 years of horrific targeting, likely more. Many attempts on my life.
@privateaccountfor12523 жыл бұрын
@@christina91x I was very sick when I got into a relationship that ended up destroying much if my life when I was very sick, losing my career and colleagues secondarily, and had no family support. I always stood my ground against the abuse. But when an abuser and/or his family has powerful connections and sociopathic/psychopathic personalities the abuses can go on via proxies indefinitely, sad to say! Yet I hang in there and trust the Most High Creator!!! Blessings❤🙏
@lill15573 жыл бұрын
2 minutes in and I already love this. Go Dr. Ramani!
@heatherlomaxmusic47763 жыл бұрын
This woman changed my life. Hoping all empaths watch this!
@mb47823 жыл бұрын
Yeah. They will watch a scholar with an expertise in narcissism. Who is a narcissist herself.
@georges.21572 жыл бұрын
I just got out of a year and half relationship with a narcissist. It was so draining, I would have to over explain things all the time. Always felt like I was never good enough, always being told I was overly sensitive. I was mentally drained and I thought it was because maybe I wasn’t handling it correctly or maybe I wasn’t strong enough. The only people she would act that way around was me and her immediate family. I’m so happy I found this video and this doctor is nailing everything I’ve always been thinking. Thank you.
@buckwheat_flower3 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramani is one of the most humble people I've seen on the internet 💗
@utualan3 жыл бұрын
!!
@undagroundsoulja3 жыл бұрын
You know she admitted she was a narcissist before lol
@buckwheat_flower3 жыл бұрын
@@undagroundsoulja if you're so pressed about it why dont you attach evidence
@808stateofmind23 жыл бұрын
@@buckwheat_flower “so pressed”... dude if you just look at her situations and choices in life, she’s definitely a narcissist lol
@buckwheat_flower3 жыл бұрын
@@808stateofmind2 No I dont waste my time judging a content creators life choices as suggested by some random internet person thank you
@sheiladay97753 жыл бұрын
If you know about narcissism, you know about mental health. Thank you, as always.
@consciencecolmon10463 жыл бұрын
Spoken like a true narcissist?
@AZDC993 жыл бұрын
7:15 I love how she destroys this "just be happy" mantra after one goes through something traumatic. I agree. You can't just "don't worry, be happy" all the time. Western society's "cure" is worse than the sickness sometimes. Totally covers what narcissism is in a nutshell.
@Walkthepath923 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. I never quite understood why that bothered me so much, but now I understand that it's the lack of empathy. Another one is " Don't focus on the problem, focus on the solution."
@thisgame22 жыл бұрын
It's ppl being selfish because most people refuse to empathize. They tell you to be positive and if you can't they scratch you out of there life because your now toxic. Meanwhile we just need support.
@harlequin8522 жыл бұрын
I have been following Dr Ramani a lot and it is great to see her letting her emotions out and use frank cursing language which is absolutely appropriate for those situation. Amazing speech again from Dr Ramani. I am a huge fan. >. Her work is fundamental to mental health
@Juniperus_Godegara3 жыл бұрын
This woman is the perfect example when intelligence meets goodwill and a kind heart. ❤️ Thank you for putting out this interview to the public 👏
@Nina-hk7ub3 жыл бұрын
Impressed she can write so much. She is very productive.
@Yellow-Rose3 жыл бұрын
Ikr! Her mouth can barely keep up with her mind. She is very analytical and an intellectual.
@barbskeelcsw3 жыл бұрын
I work in this field and she is excellent at explaining and simplifying the subject of Narcissism. It's just not that complicated and she makes that very clear!!
@jackpetersen75452 жыл бұрын
Barbskee LCSW,You got a lovely smile 😊
@lilianflank59412 жыл бұрын
it's ok not to forgive what they did to you - THANK YOU Dr. Ramani!!! I thought there was something wrong with me for not being able to forgive them. THANK YOU
@countrybabe11112 жыл бұрын
"Forgive to be Forgiven" doesnt mean YOU take the person back, it means YOU free yourself from being not forgiven in the END 😉
@crankiemanx84232 жыл бұрын
@@countrybabe1111 that in itself is a narcassistic response, because it blames the victim for reacting in his or her chosen way to what was done to him / her.& It implies doing something only for the scope of receiving something for your benefit only..ie .as a reward
@glynemartin2 жыл бұрын
@@crankiemanx8423 ...or maybe we're (just a tad) over thinking and over diagnosing here? Maybe forgiveness is simply the art of dropping the inner deep seated resentment
@donnasloan24552 жыл бұрын
@@glynemartin Maybe you should test your theories on poisonous snakes & let us know how that goes.
@glynemartin2 жыл бұрын
@@donnasloan2455 Let us know how not forgiving yourself goes...
@cjk70633 жыл бұрын
So true. I love this woman. She's making such a big impact in people's lives. I love her so much. Thank you Dr Ramani. 🙏🏽💚💚
@lindasharpe70393 жыл бұрын
👏👏💜
@madonnadefore32393 жыл бұрын
I agree 💯💕💕She has been such an awesome blessing for me!💕💕
@vibehigh52803 жыл бұрын
Thanks correct! I love her too!
@devonjoners55123 жыл бұрын
She is a narcasist. You are the evil
@bethflynn42783 жыл бұрын
Yep she helped me to escape from my exnarc! 💚 Thank you Dr. R
@marthawatkins71843 жыл бұрын
Love Dr. Ramani! Such a treasure for those dealing with narcissists.
@jamesarmstrong41793 жыл бұрын
Martha Watkins,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist....
@glynemartin2 жыл бұрын
@@jamesarmstrong4179 Looks like you have narcissistic tendencies/designs....since you're into the superficiality of appearance... Just engaging in non professional diagnosis like you seem to be. *:-)*
@jbilotta3 жыл бұрын
I absolutely and implicitly agree with Dr. Ramani‘s philosophy on forgiveness. Dr. Ramani is so skilled at what she does, much respect.
@velvetindigonight3 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramani and her sharings on 'forgiveness' were a 'gift', so valuable and just what I needed to hear! Enjoy
@shirleymccowan74023 жыл бұрын
@@velvetindigonight I can forgive. But sometimes you are still dealing with the fallout from a spouse who was narcissistic toward your children. If they were also emotionally abused by the narcissist in the family. And the narcissist continues to attack in public situations where he/she has family who respect him/her because of financial success or career success. Some of these narcissist are very influential in their "public" personalities, but evil in secret.
@LoveFaithLive3 жыл бұрын
@@shirleymccowan7402 Yes! We finally learn to stand our ground anyway because it's the right thing to do but it took me ages to realise all this believing I'd lose but so what if I "lose" in the eyes of those taking the narcissist side. Hope that made sense...
@youprobablyalreadyknow89472 жыл бұрын
Many other Doctors may be as smart as her, but rarely is anyone, really, so gifted at articulating themselves. There is zero dead air or “umms,” just packed with info. She’s confident but humble. I can’t say enough about her, she’s incredible.
@dawnacoxon31113 жыл бұрын
“Don’t make excuses for them...He had a tough start in life... those are 2 conversions... he had a tough start in life AND he is treating you like shit” amen!
@Sarablueunicorn3 жыл бұрын
my aunts excusing my mother extremely abusive behavior. 😆 lol
@Picca653 жыл бұрын
Agreed!! They are responsible for working on their own trauma. It's not okay to put that garbage on your shoulders.
@carolashlee80023 жыл бұрын
I agree, I had a bad start too I didn’t repeat that
@kirsten10073 жыл бұрын
I concur. You know you are in a narc relationship when u make excuses for them
@KingMinosxxvi3 жыл бұрын
Or SHE ........AMEN......Or does SHE have BPD..so it's okay
@timothygenaw21993 жыл бұрын
She's got over half a million subscribers now. She's excellent.
@cinnabun7153 жыл бұрын
She is! I appreciate Dr. Ramani's work.. She has a fantastic way of speaking and explaining. Brilliant woman
@808stateofmind23 жыл бұрын
this lady is narcissistic?
@e.l.2433 жыл бұрын
@@808stateofmind2 What a strange question. Why?🤔🙃🤯
@soilmanted3 жыл бұрын
Fiction writers often sell lots of books. Story tellers get lots of listeners. Dr Ramini does an excellent job of piquing people's interest. That does not mean she has useful knowledge about behavior or good skills at communicating such knowledge.
@velvetindigonight3 жыл бұрын
@@soilmanted Oh really?
@domenicsandri27403 жыл бұрын
She didn’t bring up that the narcissist will never ever apologize even though they know they did wrong. Narcissists only care about themselves.
@homeschoolmom23843 жыл бұрын
Or as is the case with my sister, she apologized twice to me in my entire life, the said she lied she really wasn’t sorry
@Variant1on13 жыл бұрын
Some do apologize, but they don’t mean it when they do.
@ninelaivz43343 жыл бұрын
My ex was a typical narcissist. When I asked her to apologise she would give me all the excuses as to why she shouldn't.
@MsLiberty1013 жыл бұрын
A true narcissist would not ever think they are wrong which makes them a narcissists to begin with....What has to happen to narcissists is for everyone to abandon them and a lot of bad luck by their own accord that will finally wake them up, not all... but it can happen...if they are brilliant ppl it makes it much harder for them to snap out of it...esp when everything is going their way and ppl are putting up with their behavior because maybe they admire their brilliance and confidence.
@JS-pw8nr3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I wonder why she didn't mention that? This lady is a "wolf in sheeps clothing". You've got the thread, now pull hard. Read the story of Narcississus. Read it. Then take another hard look at this womans focus on emotion. How hard is this woman leaning towards emotion? Almost feminist and female-centric... wouldn't you say?
@mthomas3547 Жыл бұрын
I got to a point where I wasn't angry anymore. I understood the dilemma. It truly is about winning for them and not about being honest. That was the key puzzle piece that I needed to understand it all. After I realized that, I could move away from it without feeling ill. Now, it's about working in my own life and not giving that anymore energy. That's why I'm not angry or resentful, but I will admit, it took a very long time to get to this place. I truly want that for everyone. Family isn't always easy and, I believe, no one ever said it was.
@miriamhavard76213 жыл бұрын
I agree with the doc, plenty more exist than is actually acknowledged.💗🌺
@joyceandrews80943 жыл бұрын
What a relief to know you are not a mean person because you can't forgive the narcissist. When that burden of "guilt" is put off, then it does allow a person to heal and move on. Once that happens, forgiveness is not even an issue. Thank you.
@des25073 жыл бұрын
I can’t get enough of what you say Dr. Ramani. Can’t thank you enough
@NB-ig8zi2 жыл бұрын
Great interview. Dr Ramani is a godsend. It's interesting to hear that narcissim is not clinically diagnosed when there is no 'cause' to, ie- no harm being done -to the narc. It Should be diagnosed, becasue it does affect others. The criteria for diagnosis should not just be if it affects the narc, but if it affects others too. I read somehwere that narcissism is the only illness that does not affect the ill person and affects everyone around them. Like being a virus carrier and spreader.
@Lulu-pq5wq3 жыл бұрын
Kurt Vonnegut talked about “failed humans”. Meaning creatures that were born in human form, but failed to become real human beings. If you have no empathy, you failed to become human.
@bebe88423 жыл бұрын
A good one! 👌👌👌
@DJBenito3043 жыл бұрын
👏🙌
@ClarityDetermination3 жыл бұрын
Perhaps a person was born with empathy and something happened so they now haven't empathy and so become narcissistic.
@bebe88423 жыл бұрын
@@ClarityDetermination I also agree with this idea, that the environment and the way children were raised have both generally and particularly a very strong influence. People don't change usually, after a certain age, but they might be built in some specific way, no matter if it was done consciously or not.
@Lulu-pq5wq3 жыл бұрын
@@ClarityDetermination Honestly, cluster Bs are usually created by parental cluster Bs. As far as anyone knows. I was raised by 2 cluster Bs and came out without it, but my brother didn’t. If you’re a parent, respect your child’s boundaries and use empathy.
@Erturkturan63 жыл бұрын
Omg I’m in tears. Literally. She’s amazing. It’s hard not idolizing her. I look up to her tremendously, especially for shedding light on an issue that caused me to suffer for many years. Amazing. Strong. She’s a real life freakin superhero.
@christinamadvig14682 жыл бұрын
What she sais about gaslighting is 100 % what I've done and go through
@lesleycharters57712 жыл бұрын
Appreciate your information
@mariadefreitas12573 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this, specially about forgiveness, I don’t want to ever forgive what was done to me, but am working on letting go...
@d.froggiez3693 жыл бұрын
@@christianpulisic7784 🚩🚩 BIG red flag making comments like this ALL down this thread. You looking for supply?
@2Ryled3 жыл бұрын
You dont have to forgive ever. What is good is to decide to out it down. Not let it rule your life. Not let it take over your brain. I thought this is taking up my daily life. That person doesn't even think about me. They are going on like things are great, and I'm suffering. So I decided I'm not letting that person take up space in my head. Living well is the best revenge.
@new_and_improved17493 жыл бұрын
Despite certain people having abused me for several decades I again and again feel empathy for them, but at the same time after several years of no contact I still feel lots of resentment, this conflict often really wears on me. So in essence I am intuitively doing it right, empathy for them for not being able to escape their prison, but love them from afar for my own protection. Klick, I've got it, there doesn't have to be a conflict, empathy for them and protecting myself are both warranted. Thank you, you beautiful soul, Dr. Ramani.
@ahtauwylye13402 жыл бұрын
So good. Such a safe place but not ignoring whats going or went on. Inspiring thankyou
@Theresa-Lottodo3 жыл бұрын
I can forgive, because it relieves the burden - but the person who hurt me just doesn't need to know I forgave them, because I went no contact.
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Wand,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Wand,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Wand,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@rayj.95683 жыл бұрын
@Wand, Exactly! Telling the narcissist that you forgive him/her is not going to change that person.
@indraSilentMoonImaginarium3 жыл бұрын
That's what I'm doing right now (no contact) Been 5 days. Keeping it up isn't easy but watching things like this helps
@nikij37543 жыл бұрын
“People who are charming and charismatic terrify me!” Hahaha bruhhhh she speaks to my soul. Sameeee. Date is too charming? UmmmByeeeee
@sassysally29953 жыл бұрын
But just because someone is charming doesn't mean they have NPD 🤔
@nikij37543 жыл бұрын
Haha. Its a certain type of charm- hard to explain
@paulbillingham67693 жыл бұрын
So you don't find Dr Ramani 'charming and charismatic? She talks fast enough.
@1960ARC3 жыл бұрын
All world leaders have self interest at heart. It's the absence of a true belief in God that can cause people to lack empathy. World leaders that want to control the human race with a Vax passport care not at all about humane life.
@blueblaze98623 жыл бұрын
But she herself is charming n charismatic
@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit56113 жыл бұрын
“Being in a cult is extractor like being in a relationship with a narcissist...”. As an individual who has left a major religious cult I never heard it said better! It was the gateway experience to bad/trauma based relationships. So glad I ran while I had a chance.
@chakralove43003 жыл бұрын
Yes, it so true!! Glad you got out!! It’s so funny because I just told my friend that I felt like I was in a cult after being married to a covert narcissist for 20 years. I was definitely brainwashed and I had to reprogram my subconscious mind daily! I still have emotional flashbacks but I am well aware where it comes from.
@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit56113 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I can actually breathe, now!! I still have moments too where I have flashbacks, too. I guess all those years of suppressing my true self are slowly coming up for healing. Good for you breaking free and for being able to talk about it. I personally have found speaking on my experience helpful with “healthy” people for a brighter perspective and showing myself grace for staying in way past the alarm bell. Stay strong.
@egyptianhibiscus92033 жыл бұрын
@@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit5611 I know what you're talking about, went through same. I added my story in a comment somewhere above. Stay strong.
@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit56113 жыл бұрын
@@egyptianhibiscus9203 it’s so good to be in a community of people healing and breaking free. It’s a consistent reminder of our ability to grow beyond our limitations ✨💚✨
@jerink852 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh... I can't believe what you said about forgiveness. I know I should be self-aware enough to set myself free but I've always prided myself on being so forgiving. I often times wonder what the difference between forgetting and forgiving is when people say you should forgive but you don't have to forget. It just seems so intertwined to me. So I forgive and forget to a fault. Meaning I never hold anybody accountable... No one's ever granted me the space to be upset over the torture and abuse I've endured in the 36 years of my life and I thank you for your perspective. Thank you! 🙏
@Nacole_Lashoun3 жыл бұрын
OMG. What he said at 6:00 is so profound! Many leaders and authorities are the worst narcissists! I realized this too. Its so eye-opening to come to this realization. The most "influential" people are often the most insecure and mentally unstable.
@gtaylor69373 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU, Dr. Ramani - finally I've heard a mental health professional tell the truth about forgiveness. Religion sells it, new age thinkers sell it, counselors of all types sell it, yet it is so misunderstood. We need to let go, when we're emotionally able to do it, of what has hurt us, NOT necessarily forgive the ones who hurt us. They are two completely separate things!! I believe many people have been emotionally and psychologically harmed by the pressure to "forgive" an abuser when it is absolutely inappropriate to do so in many cases. Bless your heart for giving voice to this!
@fleetskipper18102 жыл бұрын
There’s no possibility of forgiveness if the person responsible for the injury does not show remorse or contrition. That rules out forgiving a narcissist. Your forgiveness is better spent on forgiving yourself for being duped by the narcissist. Forgiving yourself is lots harder. But it’s the only way to heal.
@Lover-of_TRuth2 жыл бұрын
🏆 YES! you are absolutely correct!!! 💯 thank you so much! ❤️
@AngeliqueTraveler2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. And it stems from the twisting and recontextualizing of Christ’s comments on forgiveness by misogynistic, sexually deviant males.
@katherlenepatterson52432 жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is the right thing to do. God forgives us when we forgive others. Jesus The Messiah ask God to forgive those that crucified Him. Sometimes we know the destruction we cause in life and sometimes we don't. Forgive others Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Walk in this life as if you understand the lessons it teaches. Praise God The Father The Son and The Holy Spirit 🙏🙌💖
@nirmalasuresh72112 жыл бұрын
DC dr
@HeatherDMorris3 жыл бұрын
Narcisist do the most damage to people bc people are unaware they exist ! They are rampant today! I'm glad she stepped out into studying this !
@christinangel69 Жыл бұрын
This brilliant woman hits the nail on the head. Thank you . I'm studying psychology and have worked for 30 years in some of the most narcissist professions in the world. 😅. Low self esteem is saying it nicely. Thank you,
@karmafairy3513 жыл бұрын
I've been binge watching Dr. Ramani's videos on her channel. I can't thank her enough! This interview is really helpful as well! Thanks Joe!
@JoJo-ju7xw3 жыл бұрын
I think people in the west conflate forgiveness with trust. I can forgive you, but that doesn't mean I have to trust you or be in a relationship with you. Forgiveness is free; trust is earned.
@thegreatestislove86043 жыл бұрын
That’s a perfect way to put it.
@sarabjeetkaur76893 жыл бұрын
Indeed
@tonia.58613 жыл бұрын
I agree!! I also believe that people confuse forgiveness with the perpetrator getting off “Scott free”.....forgiveness DOES NOT mean you don’t suffer the consequences of your actions.
@JoJo-ju7xw3 жыл бұрын
@@tonia.5861 A thousand percent agree!!
@JenzJoe3 жыл бұрын
Yes Jojo... PREACH THAT! Preach! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@sararichardson7373 жыл бұрын
A wonder to behold. A woman passionate about her work and sharing her knowledge with such zeal and generosity.
@katayna_girl84682 жыл бұрын
OMG!!! The “have a great day!” At the end.. nailed it! And they often start with, “I hope you’re having a wonderful afternoon!” This is one of my clients on the daily. I run around trying to make her happy even though I’m not getting paid enough, and the woman refuses to tip!
@armoghanbela80833 жыл бұрын
That forgiveness part right at the end struck me real deep. God bless Dr. Ramani.
@amanitamuscaria75003 жыл бұрын
I absolutely love her. She's a real voice and presence where it is so needed.
@LeilaJane3 жыл бұрын
Sooo riight!!! Dr. Ramani is doing such important work!! All my ''mental health issues'' were perfectly healthy/normal reactions to being surrounded by narcissists!!!! Understanding how they work was so vital in allowing me to let go, therefore giving myself what I needed to heal.
@2legit2Kwit2 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani is the best narc whisperer out there. She’s looking so beautiful and healthy. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.