It's Not You: Navigating a World of Narcissism | Dr. Ramani Durvasula | Chase Jarvis LIVE

In this episode, Dr. Ramani Durvasula shares her expertise on narcissism and its impact on relationships. Dr. Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting.
During our conversation, Dr. Durvasula provides a detailed overview of narcissism, explaining how it manifests in relationships and the harm it can cause. She emphasizes the importance of understanding narcissistic behavior and the need to educate ourselves on how to navigate these challenging dynamics.
Some highlights we explore:
- The role of social media in contributing to the rise of narcissism
- The impact of narcissistic relationships on mental health and well-being
- Strategies for setting boundaries and protecting oneself from narcissistic behavior
- The power of self-reflection and personal growth in healing from narcissistic relationships
Join me as Dr. Ramani Durvasula sheds light on the complex world of narcissism and provides valuable insights for navigating these challenging relationships.
Enjoy!
00:00 Introduction: The Importance of Understanding Narcissism
00:21 The Role of Narcissism in Society and Relationships
01:31 Guest Introduction and Background
03:01 The Journey into Studying Narcissism
04:22 The Impact of Narcissistic Relationships
06:19 The Role of Media and Social Media in Narcissism
07:20 Understanding Narcissism as a Personality Style
09:36 The Link Between Narcissism and Success
14:00 The Dilemma of Celebrating Excellence and Narcissism
17:40 Breaking the Cycle: Pathways to Addressing Narcissism
34:59 The Age of Narcissism: Understanding the Current State
36:02 The Narcissistic Mentality: A Deep Dive
37:04 The Impact of Narcissism on Success and Fulfillment
38:01 The Possibility of Transformation: A Personal Perspective
38:42 The Power of Empathy and Compassion in Leadership
38:59 The Struggles of Survivors of Narcissistic Relationships
40:10 The Definition of Success in a Narcissistic World
41:04 The Role of Marketing in a Narcissistic Society
43:06 The Impact of Narcissism on Personal Ambitions
50:30 The Path to Healing from Narcissistic Relationships
56:36 The Cultural Shift Needed to Address Narcissism
01:04:26 The Message to Narcissists: A Call for Change
01:09:11 Conclusion: The Potential for Healing and Transformation
ABOUT Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is the author of several books, including "Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist" and "Don't You Know Who I Am?: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility". Dr. Durvasula's work focuses on narcissism and its impact on relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. She has appeared at SXSW, TEDx, Red Table Talk, the Today Show, and Investigation Discovery. Dr. Durvasula also has a popular KZbin channel where she discusses narcissism and has millions of views. She is launching her new podcast, "Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani", which explores narcissism's impact on relationships.
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Chase Jarvis is well known as a visionary photographer, fine artist and entrepreneur. Chase is cited as one of the most influential photographers of the past decade. As an entrepreneur, Chase created Best Camera - the world's first mobile photo app to share images direct to social networks - sparking the global photo sharing craze. He is currently the founder & CEO of CreativeLive, the world's largest live-streaming online education company, having delivered more than a billion minutes of free live education worldwide.

[@chrisknowles7443]

Dr Ramini is the absolute best in this area of mental health for sure!!!!

[@leilagomulka5690]

Dr. Ramani rock and rolls

[@ChaseJarvis]

Facts.

[@dgno02]

Thank you Dr. Ramani! Narcissistic father, supervisors, and now ex-husband has f***ed me up. I need your wisdom & experience. It's literally life saving comfort. I listen to you all the time to learn, grow, and get through this.

[@serenaknight9858]

The damage to the victim is real.

[@mgenihamed5710]

For my point of view it was blessing to the victim,they think they destroy people it turn out they push them to their purpose,god is always with the good for them the devil is their partner what I loss

[@nellbell071679]

Very, very real.

[@aprilwilcox5065]

Lived it and still damaged from it

[@Bs6223]

Ihave been listening to dr ramani for weeks. I am so greatful for her passion in this. I am planning on buying her book. I express my want for help , i dont need a anti depressent or have someone again negate my feelings. I need tools to know how to heal myself, and finding dr ramani has given me a sense that my life was not me not being forgiving enough, enough in whatever was used to negate my voice, my life, my pain and hurt was significant and she has acknowledged that i am enough, that i can have a life with this knowledge that can be full. I am not looking for perfection in myself or anyone else. I am working on me forward better despite my history. She speaks to all facets of life. It has been a journey of pure amazement for me. People dont understand and i tell them you are lucky you dont. My mind has bloomed. I am so greatful. thank you

[@Bs6223]

I feel that as Dr. Ramani said out of fear we do not speak . Her knowledge on this subject is not only through her pursuit to educatation but through experience. The loss of ourselves is so true. Such a sad truth. That we feel if we just morphed ourselves, say nothing, question the truth we slowly become shells . The unrelentless moments that clearly are not the reality that we fear to address. I get not speaking up, i understand at times our choices are not always choices we want to make. So in that grief, shame come in like small droplets of rain. Slowly overtaking out self esteem, our voice , dreams. I pray that anyone that is going through this can hear these podcast, find a way to save ourselves.

[@awesometulips9427]

Try her online support group for a month ($25) and see if it is useful to you. For me it was empowering/validating a place of support when I needed it. She is great, isn't it 😄❤❤❤

[@jilllandrum4849]

Dr Ramani & wonderful sexual assaults survivor therapist have both literally saved My life! I've been through a Dad, boyfriend, roommate, and girlfriend who were ALL EXTREMELY life alteringly damaged me and my life forevermore 😢. Thanks 🙏👍🙏 Dr Ramani U rock!! Please 🙏🤞🥺🙏 please don't every stop and I agree completely & totally with EVERYTHING she said especially about the changes that EVERY area of society NEEDS changed & reformed ASAP!!!

[@user-sc6hc8lc5w]

This is my first exposure to Dr. Durvasula. I was married to a narcissist for 29 years. This entire discussion has been so helpful. I am going to buy the book. Thank you so much.

[@Lena-so2lq]

Check out Narc Con, great community. Sam Vaknin ive listened to for years. If i hadnt discovered these people, idk where i would be! ❤

[@ChaseJarvis]

Thanks for sharing!

[@peterfitzpatrick7032]

Her "Dr. Ramani" YT channel is full of vids specialising on narcissism... I found it so helpful that I was more than happy to order her book as soon as it was launched... its the least I could do... of course, I subbed and liked her too... 🙄😂

[@npdsurvivorsmith9962]

Listen to her KZbin podcast too - she posts every day - 1.6 million followers. Very helpful

[@DebParker-ux8nu]

Dr Ramini is timely and spot on!

[@ChaseJarvis]

Yes!

[@lornai7171]

Dr Ramani tells it like it is. All hail the empaths! Great interview 😍

[@ChaseJarvis]

So true!

[@cyberninjasworld]

Dr Ramani a true influencer, thank you❤

[@christinakuczora4862]

The good doctor so accurately diagnoses, discusses and explains many exact situations I’ve found myself in over my lifetime with a narcissistic mother, boyfriends, husband and friends. I’m astounded how accurately she described what I’ve experienced/lived with these disordered people. It’s like she knows me and is talking about MY life!

[@maevebutler4641]

DrRamini is the world's leading psychologist re - Narrcissist's and how the abuse from these personalities style can impact their victims . The woman has saved my soul and my sanity with her daily videos on her KZbin channel Thank you for this interview ❤

[@roberth2627]

Have seen a couple these of interviews with Dr. Ramani.Have to say this is the best, I've seen..Thank You BOTH.!!

[@janne8253]

Dr. Ramani, full of experience, best words to describe, full of energy and passion for the first and most important topic of this and following generations (because for the first time in history we are connected through the internet, our generation is not alone to deal with emotional abuse, and information is for free through yt), saved so many souls, still underestimated, she is the most important person for people all over the world who suffer heavily and enables people to become sane and afterwards more aware of the problem itself and themselves again...much love and strenght to her, deep respect for her work, Janne from Germany 😘

[@Tom-xz3jz]

A lot of knowledge in this vid Narcissist r scum and everyone should know about them

[@patrickbinford590]

Dr Ramani is so interesting: a true public intellectual, who is not averse to helping us in the world of popular media. This is an effective combination. But more importantly, she is a true healer, from the category of being a psychologist while doing that. She's also practical because she's dealing with the everyday things that people are dealing with in helping them. In helping these people that she's helping. So she also is, imho: a practical psychologist.

[@jesusfaith2232]

Thanks for your truth Dr R ❤

[@jesusfaith2232]

Your are the best, thanks for your great work !

[@jillijewel8922]

one time a few months ago one of the most narcissistic person i know was listening in yt about narcissism and I was so triggered, I felt like throwing up and all a bit dizzy. it was because i feel like she was trying to study narcissism so she could play a victim again. cuz her son did that to me..., used the spiritual gurus i shared to him, against me when he was trying to discard me. Since i thought he was a part of my tribe to (stupidly thought we could)change the system in our family, i was so open to him and shared what he needed to know to be empathic until he no longer needed me and discarded me in such subtle manipulative ways. it was a nightmare...but now that his mom was learning about narcissism, I was panicking. Then after a few days......she suddenly stopped. Like it was boring her. And then i realized, her son also could not stand Dr. Ramani....or videos that showed true compassion. I realized it was probably because they really cannot relate...and that they would rather listen to spiritual gurus and meditations to selfishly FEEL at peace while the rest around them is burning down from the fires they created.

[@tobytopaz921]

so wished everyone would understand, got one of those...

[@covert_warrior]

Omg the radical acceptance of grief... does it ever end? Almost 43 I feel it will never end. Been dealing with these people since before birth. I finally see. I am working on it with an amazing trauma therapist. But it still feels like it's never going to end.

[@ms.robinson485]

Go middle school teachers 👏🏾 love the shout out!!!

[@towardsgrowth8]

Thank you so much for your work! This was a nice discussion with a lot to agree with. When I first heard the label narcissist, I was one of those who said "it is a cruel name calling, they went through a lot in childhood, they don't deserve that", I even said that I have never met anyone like that in my life until I realized that my mother is a narcissist. A lot of things started to make sense and I am slowly recovering myself.

[@GiantSlayer-rr1vu]

Dr Ramani you have really put in the work to get that double best-seller. Thank you so much, YOu blessed my life

[@leilagomulka5690]

So cool

[@tijeraslack3]

Thanks to Dr. Ramani for speaking on CPS and also the DV system. If this topic of narcissism is not understand, it becomes a very hot mess.

[@okokok7081]

Good intervju.

[@TZach1987]

Dr ramani we love you 💕 thank you for this wisdom you are putting out into the universe!!! i feel so not alone. as an infj im drawn to narcissists to “help” them and currently working thru this pattern

[@cristianmihai4818]

Empty shell is the feeling you have after narcissism abuse....0% battery left....

[@afraidtosay8471]

I'm enjoying the man's face who's enjoying Dr R talk.

[@covert_warrior]

Ramani I LOVE you

[@covert_warrior]

I still believe it started with Cain and Able

[@redhead8777]

SSL: I so agree this problem of narc relationships are definitely described in The Bible! But I believe it begins before in Adam & Eve + Serpent or possibly even the casting down of satan himself (who tried to USURP the very goodness/love/beauty of God & HIS CREATION himself. This narc mindset & behavior is nothing less than evil personified - in each one of us. Each of us has this dualistic nature. Some fight against it and some are using it fully. It IS WRITTEN. The Bible also teaches in the last days that these behaviors will be very prevalent (as they seem to be now). Most of the people I know that exhibit highest narc traits are non-believers who hide behind "feelings," "labels", and "outward finger pointing at others" (casting stones). However it is definitely exhibited by some believers/wolves as well. I suppose they are the fake (possibly just immature) Christians who are in the Church in order to maintain the appearance of a false self evil parading as good (satanic wolves in sheeps clothing). I find it is a constant battle to maintain purity of thought amongst it - but I believe (wholly) that it is the mission of the True Believer until Christ returns ("Father forgive them, they know not what they do". - Jesus). I have been personally attacked by the demonic activity & wounded by it. I've been on my knees in repentence & prayer to fight against this (for days) and prayer is answered. The Biblical answer is prayer & forgiveness & keeping the faith until the end. With deep & due respect and admiration, This is where I veer from Dr. Ramani's advice to abandon the sick. We must be strong in prayer for each other to remain in God's word and presence, while we are walking the walk of trying to help others understand that JESUS IS THE ANSWER to this problem. I know it is the secular world view that is increasing this problem. THAT is what being a Christian is all about. We remember Constantly that LOVE is the greatest of these. I KNOW how hard it is to forgive self & others for these demonic wounds which we All cause and receive. In my mind, anyone who him/herself thinks they are not a dealer of narcissistic behaviors (self preservation/desperation - some worse than others) is deluded. Everyone: Be kind, loving & forging & Pray With The Sick if they will allow you to; or, Pray For Them if they won't allow you to. This acts as an exorcism of demonic overtake. We as a society cannot have hope & goodness if we don't have The Real hope for THE light at the end of the tunnel (Jesus). God bless each person to have their eyes and ears opened to these Biblical Truths. Thank you Dr. Ramani for making the symptoms of the demonic which are caused by Trauma (within every person) SO Clear ❤.

[@Tom-xz3jz]

Me toooooooo😂🎉😂🎉😂🎉 And don’t forget the devil

[@bekind535]

Thank you 💕 Dr very interesting and informative thanks

[@GaliciaSekulska]

Go Dr. Ramani… some comedic talent coming through with this one 🙌 Laughter is the best medicine, so thank you for that. Might be on the woo woo side so to speak, but totally picking up on some past lives doing standup comedy. 🙏💕🌌

[@covert_warrior]

Minute 51 omg ty

[@NikitaNair]

So many questions i had since years got answered by Dr Ramani. She is an angel sent by God

[@mgenihamed5710]

She is wonderful soul and courageous not an angel,angel are flawless

[@Tom-xz3jz]

Oh yea

[@covert_warrior]

I don't know his name. But I am convinced that the most recent judge I had to sit in front of...... Actually understood narcissism. He offered to talk to me after court. But my brain was screaming no. I definitely should have. He was pushing hard for a very extended restraining order against my husband. I only asked for 2 months What I thought was enough time to get me out. It wasn't enough time. So I left everything behind. I really wish I had that sit down with the judge after the court session. He got away with everything he did to me. I had bruises on my body that the hospital sent me in for CT scans..... I just needed to go and hide

[@rozwilcher]

Thank God you still got our alive

[@jessetheskeptic601]

This is the best interview I've heard yet with Dr. Ramani. I like that she discussed her introversion and gave us some insight into her beliefs on the general state of affairs in our society. I don't typically read self help style books, but I just ordered Do You Know Who I Am?; fingers crossed it's not full of fluff. 😅

[@npdsurvivorsmith9962]

Don’t miss her KZbin Channel- she has 1.6 million followers. She posts daily. Read comments too

[@carolclark5776]

I heard a commercial talking about st Petersburg Florida being one of the top ten places to live. There are tons of narcissitists there. There are also nice people.

[@chriswalls5831]

Bunch of them out here

[@gfp163]

15:25 Look at me, isn't my breakfast interesting... Wow, I love it! Just that one little comment about a narcissist happens to be is so funny to me, in spite of all the misery that a narcissist causes. It's nice when you can get a laugh from hearing about such a rotten subject. Comedians should really hammer on the subject of narcissism. Then, people that just don't realize what's going on with narcissism may end up waking up to what narcissism really is and avoid being taken advantage of before it's too late. May the Wizard of Oz have a broken curtain rod.

[@sharicoburn5475]

Dr Ramani and others, the Bible new testament jesus speaks about putting others first. Thags all a narcissist needs to do. Its a heart thing.

[@dottyp137]

❤❤❤

[@crazigrl85]

Everyone’s angry nowadays weird stuff everywhere…actually I think TV is just people to express themselves for art and helping people etc. I think people are really trying to make a difference telling stories, something inside them that is driving that

[@IAm-rw7gz]

❤

[@justmeandmyrucksack]

what I've been saying for years. Judges, police, doctors and lawyers must learn ASAP. No Guardianship Hearing should happen UNTIL ALL COURTROOM WORKERS UNDERSTAND HOW NARCISSISTS MANIPULATE CHILDREN AND THE SICK. teaching in schools a definite NEED, and why do we pay for marriage licenses if abusers are not being sought before the marriages?

[@davidalanbinder4238]

Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

[@sharicoburn5475]

For the narcissists watching, go to the 1:00 mark, she addresses you and what you can do

[@daisy7066]

"Existed since all of humanity"? I find it difficult to believe that just because narcissism is prevalent in the US that means it's always been around!

[@christinakuczora4862]

If you are not familiar with the 7 Deadly Sins of Catholicism - check them out. Many believe they cover the character shortcomings/weaknesses of a narcissist.

[@mgenihamed5710]

Pharaoh was a narcissist during the time of Mosses

[@sharicoburn5475]

What do you think genghiss khan, napoleon, Hitler, pol pot, etc etc were???

[@covert_warrior]

Near the end.... I wish I could say F offf.... but I agree don't. Do the work like the rest of us are

[@user-kw7hs6do1y]

I know it is a Spiritual Battle from invisible realms (Righteous live by Faith in Jesus), but in my case, being groomed and sexually abused between ages 0-5 (Human Character cemented) and living quite a Narcissist life myself in addictions, boundaries are difficult. If when people are suffering a person hurts with them, this is empathy, correct? I do possess this. But, I am like a Narcissist MAGNET. I single and not interested in becoming untangled in a romantic relationship, until I a fully healed. However, I have a passion to protect the innocence of children from Predators and Predatory behavior. As such, if the Lord Jesus is willing, I am planning to pursue acceptance into a very prestigious University to finish that M.B.A, but with concentration in Marketing-Non Profits. I attempted Pastoral Counseling at Liberty University, a fantastic school with very rigorous Graduate programs in an advanced pace (Semesters split in two). My question is, am I putting myself into a shark tank that is likely to destroy me by even considering such (N.D.)?

[@Daniel2Ghost]

Redirect RED RIDICULOUS

[@Daniel2Ghost]

Amen, wwhoo AmememA 😂😂😂

[@gerardcremin]

👀 'promo sm'

[@Daniel2Ghost]

Donkashane

[@superherobookfan1838]

Was that sex tape comment really necessary? I felt it was highly disrespectful to a Doctor.

[@pierre931]

luckly its me the narcisist and the fool,god is crazy too