Where the battle is won: the ten second conflict

[@darkpatches]

I appreciate the extra mile that Taraban goes to to change into nicer clothes to promote his book and then back into more laid-back clothes in every single video. That's class.

[@Richard_Albrecht]

He's fast too!

[@toddubois3315]

Lol, a black sweatshirt like a less formal Apple guy? A less formal Hoodie? In which charm school do they teach that a black sweatshirt is classy? BTW, I really like Dr. T but find the comments amusing.

[@Richard_Albrecht]

@@toddubois3315 Dr. T? Oh sorry, I thought you said Mister T.

[@ezmony19]

Lol it’s prerecorded but I’m sure you know that.

[@BonafideBilli]

😂😂😂

[@GymGirlAdvice]

“Stopping a bad habit is more impactful than starting a new GOOD one”… I like this 🙌🏼

[@7184610369]

"Stick to the plan, not your feelings."

[@nunyabidness3075]

Amazingly, most of the pain from the Covid Pandemic could have been avoided if government leaders had simply stuck to the plans. We spent millions for decades updating the plans so that in the heat of the moment we’d not be swayed by emotion into doing dumb things. Frankly, if you bother to vote, you should bother to never vote again for the officials who neither followed the plans nor publicly challenged those they knew were ignoring them.

[@yama-fanboy]

easier said...

[@joshuastanbery7680]

@@yama-fanboyhe ain’t wrong though

[@AlexIambroszki]

"Once you make a commitment to do or not to do something, your feelings no longer matter." Golden.

[@thinman8621]

This Doctor understands people in a practical way. Just bought his book.

[@griffinsmanguro4115]

@@thinman8621 one of the best books you’ll read. This was by far the best book I read in 2024. All the way from Kenya.

[@SeanMcGown]

Somewhere out there, James Clear is smiling. I love the acknowledgment that fear of failure can be healthy too.

[@caldav8012]

“Mood's a thing for cattle or making love or playing the baliset. It's not for fighting. What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises-no matter the mood!” - Gurney Halleck from Dune by Frank Herbert

[@rexnakoki8385]

🎯

[@MarkusLaumann]

I like the idea of reducing or adding "friction" as a way of swaying action in a better direction. Very helpful.

[@marcondespaulo]

St. Ignatius of Loyola talks about never changing the decisions made in a state of consolation when desolation fall on us. His spiritual exercises are a good read, many powerful psychological insights.

[@grimy2304]

Atomic Habits by James Clear, and 5 second rule are definitely some of the most impactful books ive read. Making the decision easy is the best way to be consistent

[@ruibrai]

Happy New Year, dr. Taraban and people of this channel! May 2025 be a year of a positive change for all of us.

[@untamedwildhorse]

'Atomic Habits' goes deeper into making good habits easier by pairing things you already do with new wanted habits.

[@darkpatches]

Atomic Habits is the bomb.

[@smartalex22]

@@darkpatches Take my like and get out. 🤣

[@hobojungle1]

@@darkpatchesI C wut U did there

[@iGhostr]

bs book /s

[@aldorodriguez7310]

1:17 “Both virtues and vices are habits” 🔥

[@evanduquette]

For people who are having trouble controlling cell phone use: Keep the phone out arm's reach, just far enough that you have to go over and get it. It'll stop you from unconsciously picking it up.

[@thehonestguitarist6543]

Also works for potato chips.

[@kevinkurgansky4479]

There’s also lock boxes you can get on Amazon with lock timers you set

[@versustherest]

If you feel like picking up your phone, it's because you are doing something more boring. Do something better. Watching the TV is a worst activity anyway.

[@SackofWoe]

I did the same thing with my gym bag, funny thing is when I suddenly had access to a laundry machine at work and didn't have to bring my bag back and forth l, my gym routine fell off. I found the time investment of carrying the bag back and forth reinforced going to the gym because I already went to the trouble of bringing the bag.

[@MariaM-fd3ye]

Wife here. My husband of 9yrs asked for a girlfriend while still being married and husband to me. He said he needs to feel masculine again and that since we've been together so long and are so comfortable with each other, there's no excitement and motivation for him anymore. He said he loves me very much and still wants to be with me but that I don't motivate him internally to work out, do well at work etc. But that another woman would because it would be exciting and he'd want to be masculine and would then be motivated to be better. He said him and I have such different interests as well and would like a girlfriend to do more fun activities with. I offered to do these things with him but he said it wouldn't feel the same because he would know I'm just doing them for him, and he wants a woman to have the same interests as him. I'm desperate for advice. Is this normal? He said married men "just tow the line". We love each other very much and I don't want him to fall out of love with me, unless he has already. I don't want him to be unhappy in our marriage, but I obviously am never going to be okay with him having a girlfriend. By the way, he said it's not just sex he wants, but a real relationship with another woman. I would love to hear your thoughts!

[@BesnikElezi-k1q]

Best educational channel for men!

[@roses6564]

Women too, easily.

[@95TurboSol]

One thing to remember is that after enough time those new good habits that were so hard to start will become normal and you won't even notice or be bothered by them. At least that has been my experience with things like diet and working out, after I was doing it for 8 or 10 years it's not hard, I don't even notice I do them but still reap the benefits. Also, you have to decide if you REALLY want something bad enough to follow through because if you don't then it won't ever stick. And lastly, try combining things you enjoy along with the new habit, like if you enjoy audiobooks try listening while you work out and you'll be more excited to do it, plus you'll be building your brain and muscles!

[@thomasmooney5653]

Great video. 👍 For your consideration: instead of figuring out whether to work on good or eliminating bad, habits > try replacement habits. Double the return by replacing bad habit with good one. Historically this was how the Church taught to tackle vice, by cultivating the corresponding virtue.

[@tonyp.bahama9368]

Could you give an example

[@jonathand.4088]

@tonyp.bahama9368 I've seen decent success replacing porn use with going for a walk.

[@owlperformance2147]

Thumbnail is amazing as always

[@nicholasmosley8707]

I deleted a number in phone while listening to this episode if you know what I mean. Sure in theory I could get his number back but it would take a bit of effort. Great actionable advice

[@tonyp.bahama9368]

Keep on keeping on bro, it gets easier overtime.

[@nicholasmosley8707]

Thanks man. Been 80% better over the last nine months, just need that last 20%

[@Impermanance]

The 10 second window--Wow! You are so right! This is something that already occurred to me, but it's hard to be confident that an insight is valuable when no one else is talking about it. So, it helps to hear it affirmed.

[@Michael-r8l7u]

Feelings don’t matter to people with integrity. “Wanting” to do something will prevent it from happening and if given a choice, most will choose that which is easier. ❤️✌🏾✊🏽

[@michealfrank461]

I will watch this again & again... Just until it registers in my mind. Thank you Doc.

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Last year I was able to start and stick to, for the first time in my life, a regular exercise routine. I have an elliptical machine and some dumbbells at home. I don't need to go to a gym or even go outside. I can work out any time of day at home. Also, I'm doing Dry January so no alcohol at home and I'm not going to any restaurant that serves alcohol. Just for one month, not committing to never drinking again.

[@ChristianLeFer]

Drinking sucks tho so while you’re at it…

[@LPBensch]

I'm also doing Dry January. I wish you all the best. 1 Month is not a lot. I think it's really important to keep in mind the fact which I think this video also tried to explain: It's not really about the alcohol per se. It's about doing other things that are worthwhile. Therefore, Dry January is an amazing opportunity to put a big focus on activities that you actually find satisfactory instead of instantaneous gratification like drinking.

[@JosephFilm-mv6io]

I love this guy's wisdom and insight. I love his book too. He teaches me profound things unheard of anywhere else on even things outside of relationships. Thank you. Your insight helps me avoid the pain of learning it the hard way.

[@kstock00]

Thanks!

[@hgoebl]

Discipline is choosing between what you want now, and what you want most. --Abraham Lincoln

[@LibertarianGearhead]

Last year I accidentally made it easier to do things I should. After my girlfriend bought me high tech wireless headphones, I would listen to podcasts whenever I was washing dishes, cleaning the house or on my way to the gym (music in the gym). This way I have a little "reward" while doing the unwanted stuff, or heading to do it. Works for simple tasks, and this way I actually enjoy the simple tasks, but I still sometimes struggle to force myself to study. For the complex tasks, where you need full focus, just force yourself to do it for the first 10-15 minutes. Usually the start is hardest and once you're going it's easy to keep going. I do this with my study and it's quire rare for me to struggle and be unable to focus after 10 minutes. If it fails I'm usually too tired and take a break in that case.

[@nguyenmandy5441]

i appreciate the message and the timing of the video 8:40

[@GrahamLaight]

PsycHacks at his best. I've criticised a couple of his videos recently, but this is class.

[@untouchable360x]

In life, we have to choose between the pain of discipline or the pain of the regret. Which of the two is far more painful?

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

Regret for sure. 👍🏼

[@rexnakoki8385]

Regret 🙃

[@potoole]

I appreciate you putting out male focus content that isn't all about if you do this then you'll get a woman. It's important for us to know how to be effective men and not have the conversation of will I get a woman as a prize included in the coaching. Thank you.

[@rexnakoki8385]

🤝

[@alen2937]

This channel is related to questions and issues related to Men and Women interactions and relationships. IT IS his main purpose. However, he actually once in a while gives advice to all persons, this video is an example of it.

[@aklar_45]

Things like working out and saving are hard for most people because the last step of the habit feedback loop, the reward, take a long time to be felt you gotta trust the process

[@FedPut]

There will never be much of a reward for most people, so they need earlier results

[@kelschc]

Great points. I rewatched the 1984 version of A Christmas Carol with George C Scott and was really mesmerized by it. Yes, we all have the power to change.

[@jimrobinson8212]

Spot on in my experience. Good, practical suggestions about how to improve. Limit your debate. Less talk, more action. Know thy self.

[@arbitraryobjective4904]

Once again you’re pushing out gold and I’m here for it. I appreciate the consistent uploads!

[@mrbc1848vu]

A very timely reminder. Christmas Future is my mantra. 👍🏻

[@lotuspoints]

"Channel the inner postman" as long as he's not Newman 😂 'Neither rain nor snow...' 😅😂 IYKYK

[@chadf6900]

The book Atomic Habits touches on most of these points. It's a great deep dive on subject of this video. Sometimes I'll just pick a chapter and read it for the sake of keeping these ideas fresh in my head.

[@martindixon6264]

As someone who leads a busy life myself, this is excellent advice. I can tell you from experience it works. I also just bought your book, can't wait to get started on it.

[@naskamal7454]

This man is changing lives

[@TheBaconBoris]

Shit im a mailman and I have a hard time channeling my inner postman lol

[@geemail369]

🤣

[@mentalisme]

I will save this and listen to it everyday

[@TwistofWrist]

It's basically routine. My rule is that I gotta exercise at least 20 mins every day before shower. I'm aware that what we call 'exercise' is simply a part of our evolutionary journey to build us up as a species. Our ancestors had to move around 20000 steps a day to gather and hunt for food. So my routine is doing upper body, core and cardio for at least 20 mins unless I'm sick in bed.

[@Francisco-g3q2l]

Great video. I had to replay it twice. I told my self I wouldn’t drink for 48 days. And I’m now in day 22 as of 3:30 pm pacific. I said I would also work out everyday to get my abs back. To feel like a energized focused fit men. Not like a fat donkey seeing years pass. Been working grave yards shifts for about 3 weeks. And I hate it. But I told my self I would change and get back on my feet and be flying soon. And this 10 seconds battles are so true. So that being put out there time to go get this lil work out 💪. GO GET YOUR MONEY 💰

[@PortugueseKeto]

If you have to ask if you want to, you don't

[@Mereologist]

One trick I use with myself is to 'start from no'. Which sounds negative, but really it's intended to counter IMPULSE. When you plan ahead, you are using your rational faculty and usually free of temptation... you are probably closer to your ideal self than you're likely to be in the heat of the moment. So when people ask you (or one part of your mind asks yourself) if you want to vary from that plan, then answer it NO. At least at first. You have permission, then, to construct a rational argument (if you can) on why a change is necessary or good, but the whole point of the exercise it to delay your decision-making long enough for your rational mind to get engaged. Even then, the best place to start is 'I had another plan for good reasons, so what are the even better reasons to change'. Speaking for myself, usually there aren't any other than 'I am tempted'. Not a good reason!

[@PortugueseKeto]

@@Mereologist yeah this is a smart approach. It defuses the power the impulsive heat of the moment holds long enough for a logical decision to be made, and if your emotions and your logical faculty agree, then that's pretty persuasive right there

[@quickblu]

My favourite video of yours to date (and that's not easy to say since you share so much gold) thank you

[@naturalLin]

“I do it anyways! I do it sad! I do it glad! I do it oppressed! I do it depressed! I do it anyways!!”

[@EmmaT-v1e]

This sounds like commitment & temporal discounting from behavioral psychology. Adding the time delay blunts the impact of the difference between immediate vs. delayed reinforcement. And yeah, I agree that acting on emotions is a bad idea when your habits are wildly suboptimal. The point can be illustrated with an extreme example: if you feel like injecting heroin because you're an addict, that's not a good basis for that behavioral choice.

[@goldilocks913]

I recently realised I would be sorting out my motorcycle insurance soon and that I’d paid extra for extra miles and not used it for much of the year. The fact a year had gone sent shivers down my spine. And the thought l would stay like that was even worse 😢

[@michaelmartinez7158]

This reminds me a bit of “The Law of Hypnotic Rhythm” as explained in Outwitting the Devil. Would love if the Dr. would discuss that book in a video

[@AmeliaStormbanks-mz5vv]

His Majesty giving a confession, I listen to it every month it never gets old

[@MakeElectricity]

yes, i always choose to not take action in 10s of tought.

[@PioLisieux]

Damn. Solid reflection and life advise at the best time. Thanks Doc.

[@psychacks]

With a new year upon us, many people will be trying to change their behavior in the coming weeks. As we all know, this is not very easy to do. In today's episode, I discuss where the battle is won in order to help facilitate success, namely: in the ten second conflict that generally precedes making an decision. A little discipline goes a long way toward self-improvement, though we can give ourselves an advantage by how we choose to structure our lives. Join my community: the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #selfimprovement #discipline

[@benjaminpikoikj7090]

You forgot to pin this comment, sir

[@ronfesta771]

Me thinketh what is., easy to do is also easy.......not to do@!?😉

[@dougk7075]

Good message. Thank you. One strategy that seems to help me is I ask myself: “What can I do for five (or maybe ten) minutes that will get me closer to my goal of (fill in the blank)”? Those bite-size chunks add up. Good luck to all.

[@jackdeniston6150]

Five minutes and ONLY five minutes. Forcing myself to stop is a big deal

[@bloodriot96503]

Learning that someone like Dr Orion also played video games made me realize I'm not as far behind in life as I thought.

[@danielsingoei2239]

Happy New year from Eldoret Kenya,

[@ikennaumeh_io]

Nice. James Clear talked about this in his book, Atomic Habits. Really Really nice

[@Kafarnaum0]

This is exactly what i needed to hear. Thanks.

[@moisesdominguez7525]

Dr. Taraban, this is such an important and needed video. Thank you!

[@bladenovak]

Beautiful video, thank you Orion.

[@nathannavarro4530]

I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much!

[@ClinicianwithaMission-TinaGuid]

Thank you for sharing this incredible strategy 🙏🏽. As a licensed therapist, I like to use the phrase, “respond rather than react.” Keep up the inspirational content 🙌🏽.

[@johnp.johnson1541]

"licensed therapist" -- sounds like a protection racket fostered by corrupted people whom we call politicians. Therapy = excuse to delay change through endless chatter.

[@alexcrescioni]

Great message to begin the new year! Amazing work as always Orion 🔥

[@bulletinvid]

Thumbnail is always a work of art 👍 👌

[@stevensolof7058]

Another way to help mitigate the lack of discipline is to set regular re-evaluation periods. If you simply wait until new years every year to make a decision on changing your habits, you will likely feel rushed to analyze what's going on and pick an appropriate new direction. However, if you do it more often, such as quarterly, you can much more easily say "im trying this thing out for 3 months and I'm actively paying attention to how it's going. If it doesn't seem to be working, I only have to stick it out for a few more months and I can make the change then. But for now, I have to be true to my word and give this a fair chance to play out. If i don't see it through, the regret of giving up could be worse than just doing the thing because I know I will have tainted the process. But I can righteously make the change later because I respect the process."

[@darrbest]

funny how you mention about the work out bag. i just recently started packing mine immediately after workout . this is exactly what i would do if that bag wasn't ready. that was the perfect excuse not to go to the gym. I found this to be very helpful. very reassuring. just ordered your book cant wait to get it.

[@Janzer_]

Fear is the mind killer!

[@Rawi888]

Man is COOKING with these timely releases. Bad habits really do suck man.

[@ericsigne6575]

Another banger of an episode, thank you Dr

[@diannascott6758]

🙌 wishing everyone enlightenment in the new year.

[@Beleeuer]

Good point on Scrudge

[@cameronmcfarrin4587]

I enjoyed this video because we make NY resolutions but we don't have effective ways to be accountable. I like your example with the video games. One problem I have that I want to work on is eating out. I'm a decent cook and I like it, but I'm always on the go with teaching, coaching, tutoring and professional development. I've spent too much on door dash and ordering fast food. I plan to eat out once a paycheck, which is 2 weeks for me.

[@lopadova_]

This video hits home so hard! Great advice!

[@mrnice7570]

Demonstrably true! I wish this had gotten to me today at 2pm, nevermind tho, I didn't fall off much at all , tomorrow a new day and this the video I need for that 10sec battle I've so frequently lost with weed addiction

[@RTR_43]

the thumbnails on this channel are beautiful

[@bobhouse9331]

One of my best friends told me a year ago that I was meant to be a postman. Now I know exactly what he was talking about.😅

[@ross3818]

Good lecture.

[@KotCR]

I think I need to make a new year's resolution to play _more_ video games. Used to be a great escape for me, but I never have any time for it anymore and when I do have a bit of time I'm just too tired. Unfortunately modern game companies seem to thrive on making gaming as inconvenient as possible 😅.

[@eliel14ful]

Whoa only the ghost of the future got him to change... that was chilling

[@keyhansaldjoughi9613]

Love your audio book orion. I've listened to it 3 times. It's awesome, well done.

[@alen2937]

Lol. I have all my retro consoles ready to play, as well as several PCs... I just... became tired of playing games and decided to learn a new language and listen to music at the same time.

[@dwightbrown]

I have a daily rule: Two two things I do not want to do everyday.

[@kevinhornbuckle]

This really works.

[@angierox6964]

Hey I really like your… video marketing. The retro colors and design and titles are great!

[@JeremiahWon]

Thank You, Dr. Taraban! You are right on time with this message! I needed this! 🫡👑💯

[@moeezmalik3666]

9:22 powerful!

[@ethanetwirelessvpn8180]

I don't know whether this is valid or not. But that window or that one0 second battle, it's something that I think in my mind that maybe my schedule is not sustainable. Maybe going to the gym 5 times a week. He's not something that is sustainable, so maybe the Impulse, to not do the thing today is actually a sign

[@rexnakoki8385]

Happy New Year 🤗

[@margaretc5679]

Timely. Thank you, sir.

[@C2DMNFNP]

Amazing episode, thank you!

[@Delta19G]

Perfect timing advice for my life today honestly

[@vanthanhduong1854]

[@SusanRaymond-s1i]

Please how ?

[@SusanRaymond-s1i]

Am a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down 😭 of myself because of low finance but I still believe God😞

[@vanthanhduong1854]

It's Elizabeth Ann Hanson doing she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.

[@vanthanhduong1854]

$356K monthly is something you should feel differently about....

[@tamhoang2049]

Lovely! I enjoyed it like I enjoy a $100k monthly around the turn!!!

[@chevychelios4672]

Great insights as always!

[@NANGSGARAGE]

Desire is the starting point of all achievement. Napoleon Hill

[@joekarnitis3962]

Totally awesome! Thank you Orion.

[@nassernathan]

9:06 we need to be more afraid of things continuing the way they are

[@emilecarrington7317]

👏🏽Excellent👏🏽Advice👏🏽

[@VincentFulco]

Really terrific and novel topics and perspective. Kudos and all the best this year!

[@footballhero115]

simple concept yet very very effective