Love Is Blind S3 #6 - (Passive Aggressive) - Therapist Reacts

[@jans2073]

SK was very much Raven's first choice. you could kinda just tell by how she seemed deeply moved when talking to SK as opposed to how detached she seemed when talking to Bartise. i'm pretty sure this is just Bartise's POV of the situation because his ego might've been hurt by the fact that, when he did go to break it off with Raven, Raven wasn't upset even a little bit LOL

[@mokc913]

She was quick to say, great, we're good here, let's move on. I don't think Bartise was expecting that

[@annarosebautista124]

Sk is very intellectual and mature. Raven is lucky. Hope their relationship works out long term

[@jeeither]

I need to rewatch. She was super into Bartise, or at least she said she was, but something changed and then she seemed disinterested (like when she was doing pilates while he was talking about something serious 😂.) So it probably was her growing interest in SK that changed things.

[@jans2073]

@@jeeither yeah, and I think she also probably realized that she and Bartise weren't really connecting much. the only thing they really seemed to connect with each other over was fitness, so she might've just been over it after a while

[@capsulamental]

@@annarosebautista124 I read somewhere that he cheated. Does anybody know If It is true?

[@annekenney6914]

Matt is "anti-toxic masculinity." 🤣 Dr. Kirk, you are in for a rude awakening.

[@mmg8830]

😂😂😂

[@hugomarquez3189]

Oh boy!

[@Partycitybaex]

Can’t wait for him to review Nancy and barstool!

[@Dragonpuncher123]

To be fair he had everyone fooled at first.

[@nana7905]

Jajaja.. totally!!

[@dig2341]

Dr. Honda, you nailed SK and Raven's development of their relationship. SK seemed very respectful of Raven's need for space, he was patient and wasn't pushy, which I think helped her open up to him even more.

[@irisde6773]

I actually like Cole's personality, but he needs to mature more and learn how to better communicate at times. But something about him seems genuine.

[@TheMisslili8]

I like Cole

[@nicoler5511]

I feel like he’s a good person that just needs a bit of therapy for communication

[@Chiater]

honestly everyone harps on his communication but I found him to be very honest and genuine. First episode he came across like a a shallow guy but he proved to be very caring and worked really hard to make things work and to prove his feelings, which I find Zenab rarely if ever reciprocated. She asked him point blank what he would rate her as and then asked who a 10 was.. I mean, come on... she totally set him up to say something she would find upsetting. He gave an honest answer so if you can't handle that don't ask! I think she just has too many insecurities and was looking for him to reassure her she was perfect and sure some people do do that but I don't find that very genuine and ultimately you need to be confident in yourself, not look for others to build that confidence in you

[@shannonburke5565]

I totally agree. He is a bit childish but he is younger. I think he has really good intentions and really wants to do the ring thing. The right girl can easily guild him on the right path

[@BruceWayne-eh4im]

You like his personality because he is white and looks like your generic frat boy. Dude has massive red flags lol. Who tells a woman while being in bed with her that this other girl is a 10/10 while she is a 9/10. Jesus. You are sad. He, Shake and Bartise are all the same.

[@JDStar1295]

Cole is at worst very childish and lacks tact. I don't think he is fully a jerkface but has said some not so great things. That said, I think Zanab unfairly interprets a lot of what he says in the worst way possible.

[@lez2884]

Exactly people are trying to make it 100% her fault now. In the past it was 100% on him. It is definitely somewhere in the middle.

[@JDStar1295]

@@lez2884 Personally I think it's 70% Zanab and 30% Cole. A lot of these were misssteps that Cole made that could have been squashed right away had Zanab not confronted in such a belittling way. The reality is that not everyone would be bothered the same way by some of the things Zanab was bothered by. She's not wrong to be bothered by those words but the way to deal with those initially would be to not go into it assuming he he'll take it badly... he deserved the benifit of the doubt in that sense and she rarely gave it to him.

[@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq]

@@lez2884 It’s definitely not equal. Zanab inflates every situation to be much bigger than it is and we are like what happened? Didn’t even like Cole but he don’t do half what she says he does.

[@lez2884]

@@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq We can agree to disagree think he played his part also. He would tell everyone how she was not his type, anyone who would listen. It was not necessary.

[@brookcty]

I actually see right through Cole and I think Zanab has too and that's why she's extremely insecure with him. He's very shallow, immature, and rude. I also believe that Cole is insecure too because a lot of the time Zanab is just being sarcastic and he thinks she hates him. Then he starts getting weird and asking if she loves him in a whiny immature way. And omg it annoys me that people keep saying that she should smile more, or even when he brings up her facial expressions. She's obviously not a bubbly person, her personality is different and apparently he loved that personality unit he saw her face.

[@RyuSaga99]

Kudos to you Doctor Honda for pointing out all the events Zanab is stretching to fit her narrative. Cole is definitely not making it easy for her but she seems to misinterpret just about anything to project her insecurities onto him. It's sad that they both hurt each other in the process.

[@chipokandake]

100 percent!

[@CarrieArt7]

I felt bad for Cole in the reunion because people were ganging up on him because they believed Zanab's narrative, & he was gaslit by the end of it.

[@unefillesrb]

Don't forget to watch the scene at the end of the reunion vs how she talked about it. I believe her that she heard it how she told the story but I think she could invest in therapy. I am so sorry that she distorts stories so that she is hurt more. Trauma is a b*tch.

[@michaelcarter577]

@@CarrieArt7 I saw the reunion and she obviously distorted the "cuties event" because it happened nothing like she described.

[@michaelcarter577]

@@sierranyokka8435 Cole said nothing about her needing to lose weight. He was saying that their reservation was early that day and was lightly reminding her not to ruin her appetite for the giant meal they were going to have. When she said she only had a banana and a bit of peanut butter for breakfast, he looked confused and then lightly joked whether she was trying to get into bridal shape. To someone who isn't preoccupied, that would have been harmless.

[@AnimalsDressedasHumans]

We get a lot of answers at the tail end of the reunion. Cannot wait until you give us your take on it

[@Eddybaby01]

Ohhh yeah lol watching his videos really show the red flags with Zanab. She’s super toxic and delusional.

[@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq]

The producers really f’d up the reunion. They could have shower receipts during but nooooooo. 😐😐🙈

[@Eddybaby01]

@@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq exactly!!!

[@Abstract852]

I know....I can't wait for him to get up to the reunion and the bonus scene at the end....it's going to be a days away though :(

[@meshisha77]

@@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq word! 💯

[@video123film]

I can’t wait for you to get to the last episode and see Zanab’s retelling of the “Cuties Story” and then seeing the footage. I think it’s pretty illuminating about their situation.

[@Kat4Saturn]

Cole was never my fav but my heart broke for him at the wedding and especially during the reunion

[@hannalowercase5928]

i don't think there is a hero and a villain in that story. she basically said word for word what happened, they just had very different interpretations of it. whether it be due to a person's own insecurities before the relationship or due to comments made by the other person, you can start to interpret things differently.

[@video123film]

@@hannalowercase5928 Right. I think she’s actually not lying about anything, but her perception of Cole’s intentions is very skewed.

[@Chiater]

@@hannalowercase5928 sure but you need some self-awareness to step back and take a look at things. She blamed him for so much, especially at the wedding... it's one thing to have different sides to a story but she outright said he destroyed her self-confidence and was terrible to her.... you could say technically that's true because her own insecurities made his totally innocent comments destroy her but that's on her not him... and if it wasn't him it would be someone else

[@hannalowercase5928]

@@Chiater it's definitely a tricky situation, i just don't think it's fair to overly judge either of them on a personal level since it's a heavily edited show!

[@ezaserrano4677]

The cuties story made me sympathize with Cole so much. He seemed to be lighthearted while telling her not to ruin her appetite- for God’s sake the man used the word apetito!

[@Partycitybaex]

Exactly!!!

[@devochkadee]

Yes he also seemed concerned when she said she only had a banana and peanut butter all day and asked her why she refused the meal he offered her at lunch... she really shot herself in the leg by asking them to air it

[@ezaserrano4677]

@@devochkadee yes!! He asked her without seeming accusatory whatsoever. She spun that whole situation to fit her feeling victimized. It was eye opening.

[@nicoler5511]

Can’t wait for your further reactions to Matt… anti- toxic masculinity is not how I would describe him 😅

[@nitsusanu]

Exactly my thoughts

[@saltandpepperandmint]

Exactly… he seems like very emotionally unstable which is understandable considering his past but still

[@nicoler5511]

@@saltandpepperandmint even the way he narrativized his past has me skeptical though… Like his past wife just up and left with a new guy and there were no problems whatsoever in the relationship? It really sounds like he is omitting parts he played in the relationship collapsing

[@superhotnutjob]

I want updates on the fake crier too!

[@BruceWayne-eh4im]

@@nicoler5511 It's a very slippery slope to doubt someone's trauma primarily because of their gender. "Oh she cheated, someone must have been wrong with you." Not saying you are wrong but anyone with an iota of critical thinking can figure out that Matt's traumatized, he needs help, with both his trauma, his misogynistic tendencies (which could or could not be due to trauma) and his behavior while drunk.

[@AnimalsDressedasHumans]

I can relate to Cole. Walking on eggshells is no way to live. The occasional thank you and compliment goes a long way. It is unattractive when you only hear about the little things you do wrong. She looked angry, and then a lack of inner beauty can make you look even uglier.

[@war5561]

Yes

[@kherise]

Very accurate observations. I hate this narrative now where’s basically all the fault of men without even considering the women’s part in a conflict or struggle.

[@AlwaysAnna77]

Who else just watched the finale and reunion today? I'm looking forward to DKH reacting to those

[@vajolinda]

I watched it right when it came out! I am especially excited about what he will say about Zanab and Cole

[@AlwaysAnna77]

@@vajolinda yess, me too!!

[@s.melonita4454]

I loved the end of the reunion because I just knew that's how that conversation went with accusatory passive-aggressive queen Zanab!

[@AlwaysAnna77]

@@s.melonita4454 yeah, I'm really glad they included that clip at the end to help clear things up

[@vajolinda]

@@s.melonita4454 I disliked Cole through most of the series but the last two episodes made me feel quite bad for him

[@honeysweetstuff67]

I feel bad for Zanab, she is the classic dismissive avoidant. She lacks awareness of how her not speaking up when an issue arises in a calm collaborative manner can lead up to resentment and just hatred for the other person. She did tell him how she felt in her passive aggressive way. Also, This is Cole’s wake-up call to start being mature, having self-care, being clean, and being more aware of how he communicated can be insensitive. I truly don’t think Cole did it maliciously and he did have intentions of marring Zanab because he loved her. Zanab claims to have loved him, however you don’t do that to someone you love. Embarrass them and hurt them. I felt bad for the dude. I felt like Zanab did this as a form of power/control.

[@amendaalmonte2236]

She was giving my anxious attachment. But maybe she has that rare combination of two.

[@sugarwaterpurple5280]

Yeah she blindsided him in the cruelest way possible when he was never intentionally cruel to her.

[@bookbag6432]

My ex did this. This is very common to those with low self esteem who feel like their partner can do better without them. They look for ways to ruin the relationship. I remember we FaceTime and I noticed that he would always look away or ignore me for a minute or two while FaceTiming me. I confronted him one day and said I notice you’re always looking away, is someone there? he said no that he notices when I talk to him I ignore him so for the past several weeks he’s been purposely ignoring me. Major 🚩. I realized then that he is very vindictive. The kind of person where are you accidentally scratch their car and then they purposely scratch your car and make it seem like an accident. Clearly you do not treat people you love that way.

[@alexdalton4535]

I think she's disorganized actually

[@tulip5210]

I think she is actually fearful avoidant! Bc I think if she where dismissive avoidant she wouldn’t be as hyper vigilant about his reactions, nor be offended he didn’t speak for 6 hours.

[@marlynsantos9677]

Can. Not. Wait for DKH reaction to the finale and reunion! Your interpretation of Zay and Cole are spot on. The word distortion totally fits Zay... all the way to the "Cutie story" end.

[@tei4724]

Mm Dr. Kirk Honda, on/off I watched your videos but recently I've watched them a lot. I know they're not therapy but your "Love is Blind" videos on Danielle and Nick, convinced me to communicate to my boyfriend about my issues with insecurity. I don't think my insecurity is as exacerbated as Danielle's, but crying alone and not communicating about it is very relatable. I knew I needed talk to him because it does affect my behaviour to my boyfriend and makes me feel miserable. I become a little more shut off and have muted responses, I tried my best to not convey any negative behaviour to him, because I know it's all innocent, and that my prior trauma is making my brain go haywire. But dealing with it internally... I had such bad panic attacks and cried so much. We talked recently... Just getting my feelings out made me feel so relieved... He's the most kind person, so accepting and diplomatic. We now have a really good plan that doesn't restrict him but helps with my insecurity. I feel so loved from just this. Thank you for your videos, for your sympathy toward someone like Danielle. It truly has helped me.

[@Bea_22]

Wow, that’s awesome. Good for you.

[@GreenGorgeousness]

Always good to hear.

[@amyann47]

One of my favorite parts of Love Is Blind are these reactions 😂 so good 👏🏻

[@nitsusanu]

I think I enjoy these better than the show itself haha

[@hulyepicsa]

@@nitsusanu literally came here to say the same!

[@silverarrowtarot]

cole and zay are a really good case study of what looks one way is actually another way... cole is a little insensitive but not malicious at all. zay's insecurities have her reading much more into his comments and then she really amps up the retelling of his comments and paints him as this really hurtful person. he could work on being more sensitive for sure but he's not out to hurt her. I genuinely feel that. I feel like zay has a lot of insecurities about her looks and weight and he just doesn't help her to feel confidant and she plays victim to his comments for sympathy. Honestly i think they are just incompatible and bring out the worst in each other unfortunately.

[@silveryn9784]

I don't see it that way. He does talk too much about how a woman looks, how a petite girl like Zanab is too big, he invalidates her Feelings when she tries to be vulnerable.. Zanab was not lying about the "cutsies" Story. He was just being playful about telling her to eat less and that after talking about how a slimer girl was more his type. And honestly, even if it wasn't about how much she weighed,, who is he to decide what another person eats even if it "spoils their appetite".

[@Miranda-gi9fx]

@@silveryn9784 She was lying about his intent because she made it seems like he wanted to control her food intake to the point she could not eat what she wanted and it was not the case. In a previous episode she even said that he was fatteting her up. Someone who don't want you to eat don't do that. And you seem to forget that she was the one who asked him to rate her and who he would give a ten to. He did not specifically said that he liked slimer woman, that may be the case but he did not said that, he said that Colleen was his usual type and that is not a crime

[@tulip5210]

@@sierranyokka8435 I actually don’t think he was, in his head he probably thought that was an appropriate question for the situation bc he asks like hey you seem hot and cold with me in the beginning before things blew up. It was definetly wrong to ask, but I believe it was more stupid if anything.

[@tulip5210]

@@silveryn9784 I don’t remember him specifically saying he thought zanab was too big, but I don’t remember earlier episodes as much. I’ll have to rewatch to confirm that it was more he said he thought she was 9/10 and when asked who was a 10/10 he said raven and Colleen. Can you tell me where he says that or what episode so I can confirm that?

[@AiriniMustapa]

OMG thank Dr. Kirk for posting this AT THE RIGHT TIME when the show literally just ended and I still have questions on Zanab and Cole. I really need some deep dive on them for my own closure.. ahhahahahh

[@ambberhill1090]

In life, never ignore your gut feelings. I wish Cole had applied the brakes at this point seeing how concerned he is about the passive aggressiveness in his relationship, walking on eggshells not to trigger your partner and other vibes he is getting because at the end of the day she went full vengeance mode on him over his mistakes including recruiting almost all the cast members to bully him. I feel so sorry for him. He was putting in efforts to improve. Zainab already checked out but stayed on to use him as her pawn for her ultimate show on the last day. not cool at all

[@war5561]

I feel bad for Cole. She kinda picks him apart and by the portrayal on TV seems to disdain him. It seems like she assumes the worst of him and is kinda a bully because she has some insecurities about certain things. The whole oranges thing.. was ridiculous.

[@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq]

Omg the orange thing??? Why didn’t they show it during the reunion!! Complete fabrication!

[@war5561]

@@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq yeah I felt bad for him. At worst he was completely clueless about what she was implying. I’m also the kind of person who won’t pickup on ‘hints’ nor is that the way I communicate with people. If somebody says something that you perceive as a slight- I think the responsibility then rests on you to bring that up and clear the air because they genuinely may not know they offended you.

[@shaedy_]

@@ENTERTAINMENT-tc3uq The oranges thing is shown in the reunion. It's at the very end. It's also a clear misinterpretation on Zanab's part.

[@tiffanybarefield1227]

@Shaelyn T I think they meant they should have showed it to the group when Cole asked them to cue it up

[@video123film]

@@tiffanybarefield1227 They can’t have known that particular moment would need to be queued up. They would need time to find and edit the footage. It would have been very convenient to be able to show it during the reunion filming, but they couldn’t have done so

[@NawiTheCore]

Who's here after watching the finale and reunion episodes? Now I'm Team Cole 100%. Zanab is such a toxic and insecure person. Everything he says or does, she distorts it so she can continue being the victim in every situation. Not to mention all the lies she told.

[@socks1w]

That cuties story was ridiculous. Cole meant no harm by telling her to save her appetite. It was so innocent. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Chiater]

I'm kind of shocked how many people continue to say that it was half of Zenab, half on Cole for their issues even though its pretty damn clear to me that she was playing off insecurities and misinterpretting everything he did... he was constantly trying to show he cared and affirm things to her but she would do nothing back. I felt so frustrated and then so sad for him... it seemed clear his feelings were genuine yet everyone was attacking him at the reunion. So upset for him and upset he kept apologizing even at the end of that reunion, with tears down his eyes. That guy deserves so much better

[@marie-soleildobie7495]

Thank youuu, i loooove Cole. ❤

[@__Queen_of_Hearts__]

Seeing how everything played out, I can't believe I ever supported Zanab. She's so incredibly toxic. Had they not shown the final scene, I can't even begin to imagine the type of hate Cole would have had to endure. The other women bullying Cole based on only one person's account of what happened was also incredibly disappointing. Zanab's latest IG post also shows that she learnt nothing. She really does not deserve to have a SM platform.

[@deeniesmothers9310]

I would be pissed if I was the other ladies from the show by the way she manipulated them to believe her account of the events, but I am not sure if they are differentiated enough to see that Zainab was twisting the truth.

[@whtyc]

I just watched the final episodes last night and I CANNOT wait for you to cover the whole show! Super interesting

[@impermanent-being]

Dr Honda's analyses, extended explanations/ suggestion, and relevant examples/ stories are literally like tens of thousands of dollars worth of lessons and therapy sessions that I wouldn't otherwise get. He expresses so much genuine care and concern not just in words, but in the red flashes that would appear on his face when he feels real emotions from watching the shows. I feel privileged as a humble learner. Thank you for putting these invaluable videos out Dr. Honda.

[@JJ-ry8mn]

Is Cole actually that childish or is Zanab's overreaction to everything he does skewing audience perspective? I'm starting to wonder. There's a difference between man-child and "guy who likes to have fun and sometimes gets foot in mouth disease".

[@jclyntoledo]

I'm leaning towards the latter.

[@xsenobe4396]

I think both, he really is quite goofy and immature, but she also gives him absolutely no benefit of the doubt. It's such a shame, because she is awesome, but looks like her history made quite a mark on her ability to bond, ever since they got out of the pods she kept him at a distance, combining that with Cole's immaturity and we get an explosive combination. I also think Zaynab is very beautiful and it breaks my heart that anything is able to undermine her confidence in that. They should give the couples a few sessions with a therapist to help them work with communication differences and needs expression. It's crazy that they are expected to figure that out within what, a month? Absolutely crazy, it amazes me that anyone can pull this off...

[@whiskybrush3219]

That whole scene tacked on at the end of the reunion. He's excitedly talking about finding a way to get her family involved in their wedding celebration by traveling to every country they are dispersed in to make it happen. Remember, traveling with him and taking him places via her job was her idea. But the whole time he is talking she either has her back to him or replies in ways that sound very dismissive and comdescending, shruging off his enthusiasm, and a host of other body language that just screams "god you're annoying". It reminded me of the parents in the movie Coraline. Then the real story of the tangerines comes out. Poor guy. I feel bad for her, because she seems so incredibly insecure it hurts to watch and she will have to work very hard to get over that hump. I feel terrible for him because although he has his faults (maturity being the most obvious) he was gaslit from hell.

[@Lulu-kt6gr]

Zanab doesn’t deserve Cole. She’s an angry, manipulative liar. Everyone throws around the word gaslighting but what Zanab did to him was a perfect example of gaslighting! I’m so glad they aired that because I 100% could see through her in earlier instances. Yes he was immature at age 25 but he seems to have a good heart and he deserves an honest, open person. You dodged a bullet Cole!

[@thislifeinireland]

I RAN here after watching the reunion. Desperate to hear your take on Cole by the end of it.

[@kelly123987]

I can't wait to see Dr. Honda's reaction to the reunion! Phew it will be interesting to see what he has to say about that.. Thanks for these reactions!! :)

[@jillianj310]

I can’t wait to see your reaction to the reunion and the “cutie story” of Cole and Zainab. Vs the footage they show.

[@justmacyy]

It’s amazing how many people didn’t catch on to what you’re saying when they watched it. Everybody was anti-cole. Don’t get me wrong, he makes mistakes, but I truly believe she is more toxic than him.

[@shannonburke5565]

Exactly. I feel like it is a lot easier to hate on the dude but it was clear she was toxic. Just didn't know how bad until the reunion.

[@marie-soleildobie7495]

Exactly! Love Cole ❤

[@AprilT72]

Waiting for the reaction to the cuties story 😂

[@reyesy25]

After watching the reunion, I can't wait for Dr. Kirk to react to Z and Cole.

[@laursouth52]

To be honest I think Bartise only “mutually” ended it with Raven was cause she didn’t really care about his story he was telling which is messed up but if that didn’t happen he would’ve chose Raven im sure of it

[@Lucinda_96]

Didnt it seem like he was getting ready to propose to Raven but the wrong thing came out? He didn’t decorate Nancy’s pod!

[@ginadeford9437]

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Zanab’s performance on her & Cole’s wedding day and the reunion

[@AmblingSoulCC]

You can tell by the views that we are all curious how Dr. Kirk reacts to this season and the conflicts that grew out of these couples.

[@bbalexis9433]

No reaction to the Nancy & Bartise interaction at the end of the night! I was so looking forward to that

[@Partycitybaex]

Same! I’m waiting for DKH to do so

[@susiekidd9183]

Cole does seem immature, at times, but Zanab appears very insecure… & just wait till you see the weddings & then the reunion show, especially towards the end when producers show receipts. Wow!

[@AC-os1ou]

I think the Colleen/Cole situation shook Zanab to overthink and turn every little thing Cole does and see the worst in him

[@katiewilson7464]

I can’t WAIT for you to discuss the reunion

[@Watchingvids01]

i wish we could watch this live with you! you're so behind haha

[@LearnPolishwithEvaKam]

I can’t wait for you to react to the reunion. Zay destroyed Cole’s self esteem not him hers. She was destroying hers on her own.

[@cuttingback]

I can't wait for your reunion take!

[@AshtenOriginals]

Dr. Honda, I’m going to need you to react to cutiegate 🍊 I need a therapists opinion on that whole situation.

[@dahliaholm3637]

I can't wait for your reunion reaction... very curious as to how you would conceptualize zanab's behavior

[@yankaclementi1935]

I cannot wait for Dr h to see the cuties clip, he'll be able to teach a class on distortion

[@babiesame]

Hi Dr Honda, please react to the reunion episode. soo confusing love your content. learnt sooo much from your videos. take care of yourself because you deserve it, you really really do💙

[@APerson-qw8yy]

let him get through the season lmaoo

[@nyoshavalaei-khiabani4962]

Dr Honda: Matt & Colleen seem to be doing well Me: *Stares directly into the camera*

[@ZoeBellCake]

Really looking forward to watching The Reunion. The way they spun Cole and Zay was...wrong.

[@emmadear3276]

Zay has serious deep psychological issues she needs to seek therapy for and Cole is a dramatic man child at times lol and them together is like watching the toxic train wreck waiting to happen. They both do it. Just wait for the reunion😆

[@mickey10jb80]

Bro, when I tell you this show was a mindfuck. And the reunion 🥴. It was like some type of scary/suspenseful movie where there is a twist and you don't find out who the villain is until the end

[@Lucinda_96]

Wowowow, cant wait to hear allll the things you’ll have to say about the reunion. Can we skip to the good part?? 😅

[@MC_Hammerpants]

I'm a lil surprised you didn't examine this interaction at the bar. It took a minute for people to question Zanab's true nature. For some it was cooking fight, for others it happened at the wedding, if not then it was the reunion. The writing was on the wall before those events. The first window into Zanab's true self occurred at the outdoor bar scene. You know, where Andrew rolled up and made Bartise get a little territorial. In this scene we get a glimpse into one of the methods she uses to punish those she feels wronged her: triangulation. Everyone one is having a good time that night. Except Zanab that is- she doesn't know how to lol. So she pulls Matt aside and plays him like a fiddle. She identifies the weak point, his massive unhealthy insecurities, and pokes and pokes until she gets the reaction she set out for. It was so effortless for her too. She even goes the extra mile to say "I would've been bothered that your boy felt the balls to walk up to"... in order to: 1. Create conflict between Cole and Matt in hopes of turning them against each other. It's unreal to see that betrayal from someone who claims to love you play out since men often resort to physical violence when alcohol, disrespect, and a girl are involved. AND 2. Create conflict between Colleen and Matt in hopes of creating enough tension to poison their relationship. Colleen is the also officially a target Zanab's rage at this time. Tsk Tsk. Zanab you naughty girl! Using a Matt as a tool to do YOUR dirty work!! I have a feeling this isn't your first time doing something like this, is it?

[@PENH5428]

Anyone have the link to Dr Honda’s appearance on Jessica’s podcast? ( from love is blind 1)

[@zonthisv4915]

Dr. Honda basically describing 'zsa zsa zsu' in academic terms is giving me life

[@jennaalden3658]

just wait for the cuties screen at the end of the finale....

[@victoriamaiello4495]

Where’s the link to the podcast ?!? 🤩

[@urwaabdullahi245]

I cant wait for him to react to ep 11 where we find out zanab is actaully the mean one

[@jclyntoledo]

I mean I already knew that 😂😂.

[@GloryHernandez514]

The way Dr. Honda described the avoidant "distancer" relationship described me to a tee! I was always the one being pursued and I would eventually give in to the person pursuing, but it was only after they stopped trying to pursue me! So, I never really felt anything for them and it never lasted long. However, the night I met my husband I felt something, and he was the only person who has ever been pursued by me! I knew from the first night I met him that I would marry him. We have been together for 12 years now, and married for 4! I feel like I'm still the way Dr. Honda described, I like when my husband pursues me, but when he gets upset and doesn't pursue me, I turn into the chaser. Interesting! I could go on a rant, but I'll stop for now lol

[@mikhaelahhh]

Dr Hondas speculation about Raven Around 14:00 I think was spot on.

[@rhutson85]

Cole was definitely walking on eggshells the whole show

[@meshisha77]

I cant wait for your reunion reaction. We need to hash that out. It was sickening

[@ILikeTheIvy]

Zanab seems to be she was content being alone. Cole tries to be open and have a laugh and she gets grumpy. Not a fan of either of them, but lately I'm annoyed with her, they don't mesh well.

[@annabudi]

Waiting this Psychology in Seattle, comment on Reunion Episode.... about all of them until the last clip. 🤣🤣

[@Nikki-lr5jn]

I haven't seen the video yet but I have to comment after seeing the reunion. I do not support Zanab anymore! Yes she has truma, but that does not give her the right to humiliate, gaslight, and straight up lie on Cole! Cole never had any ill intentions towards her ever, but she broke him because she is broken! This is the time in reality time I'm taking the man's side over a woman. Zanab is not right, she had me crying for him. She broke his spirit and he had a beautiful spirit before Zanab came into his life. He deserves better than the attacks he got at the wedding and reunion. All he wanted to do was love her. This is coming from someone who didn't really like him at first. I was wrong about Cole he's a good man with a good heart. Please watch the reunion all the way up until they role credits. Zanab needs serious help

[@roses.9181]

I can't wait for you to get to the reunion.

[@Venusagbote]

you are in for a jaw dropping reunion

[@unicornL]

I like Raven together w SK. She feels safe and is opening up different sides of herself around SK because of it. Lest we forget Bartise being an ass and scattering dollar bills along the pod floor to imply/make fun of Raven's industry work and basically saying she's a stripper and he's shaming her for that possibility.

[@hallop2145]

It is not passive aggressive to ask someone to remove something. This is the opposite of passive aggressive.

[@TheMisslili8]

the way she ask is not nice at all

[@Youokhun]

A direct way of saying it would be - will you put your towels in this place going forward and I will too because I feel the place is really messy when the towel is left on the floor? Rather than saying it the way she did.

[@tambulee]

Nothing like a man weeping to make hearts melt. He's a nasty man child that wanted to double dip with the girl he called shallow and dumped. It didn't work out for him because Colleen didn't leave Matt. After opening that door and the worms that came with that he cries. Booohooo. His situation is a bed of his own making.

[@whiskybrush3219]

I do feel bad for Cole. I really didnt care for him at first as I thought him somewhat immature, but i am overall impressed with him as I find him to be a very good communicator. Sure he is indeed immature at times, he is young. We all do moronic things and it doesnt stop because you get older, we just do different moronic things and if we are lucky we learn not to do them again. I would not be able to be together with a person so insecure that everythign I said was put through a microscope like that. There is no winning scenario in those kind of situations and its hard to see anything but hurt in the long term.

[@hilaryb8212]

Did anyone watch the whole season? I did and my first thought was Zanab is extremely insecure and she needs some therapy. She's been hurt in her previous relationships and doesn't know how to just relax. She hated when he said good she wanted him to say great...I hope she really gets some therapy. Men need Peace not drama.

[@michaelcarter577]

Aww, damn. He stopped just as the episode was about to get good.

[@thestoryoffive]

Please react to the finale and what happened at the reunion! 😮

[@Lucinda_96]

Justice for Cole

[@ElsBels25]

0 seconds ago One thing that I think people are missing is that for example saying could you please just not put your towel down on the coffee table - Z Is speaking with an American accent but was very very British phraseology as she has UK roots which to us wouldn’t seem necessarily rude because I think a lot of what she says is that she sometimes just being like her way of bantering and her way of being sarcastic which in the UK wouldn’t of been seen is so offensive!!! It’s weird for us seeing people say I appreciate you all and grateful for XYZ because that’s not how we speak to each other in the UK there is a lot of general passive aggressive and sarcastic ways of talking to each other and I do think that this might play into how she’s behaving because of her family being English! In UK Constant positivity and being too upbeat is seen as SUSPICIOUS and disingenous!

[@juliagomula]

Yeah I live in the UK. Banter is still meant to be fun, playful, and good-humoured. It usually only works well when all parties are in on it and have a playful chemistry. These two have NO playful chemistry that we've seen.

[@mkaverage4773]

17:37 you really need to react to Matt because I don’t think anti toxic masculinity is the right words to describe him. 😂

[@rainbowdragon9497]

LIB doesn't require them to go to the altar. They don't have to propose. I think Cole is being very realistic.

[@meagan_thee_artist]

I think cole and zay have VERY different communication styles too. That definitely does not help the situation either

[@OfficerGlintTorris]

you are sooooo sympathetic to cole lmao

[@bp7356]

I just watched the last episode and again NOT thrilled with the last scene they decided to include because it left me even more upset 🤦‍♀️ But you have to watch and decide.

[@s.melonita4454]

I was so happy they included it, but then it left me mad, as well 🤣 I wish we could've seen Zanab's and Nancy's live reactions to it.

[@acd1168]

Honestly, it did sound like he was saying that she shouldn’t eat so much. She’s not his type physically speaking anyways. He is such a pretty boy

[@bp7356]

@@s.melonita4454 Exactly why play it after the fact 🤦‍♀️???

[@bp7356]

@@acd1168 proud of her for NOT saying yes and focusing on self-love

[@godisney999]

@@bp7356 The editors probably had to find the footage and didn't have it on hand at the reunion

[@IvyK44]

Raven got rejected by bartise (because of the Jumping jack's ) and when it was clear she was being rejected she started rejecting him

[@raisingwings6951]

Would she be doing those jumping jacks if she was still into it? I think that was a clear signal that she was over him

[@meganb6609]

Please react to the cuties scene!!!

[@wakemeup9835]

Please do this season of bachelor in paradise!!

[@TheCommentBandit]

Please do Matt and Colleen

[@sophieguimezanes7022]

Comment for support

[@lav7161]

Can people stop ruining the endings for the episodes for everyone else in the comments? Some of us just watch Dr. Kirk and not the show itself. We get it, you seen every episode 🤣

[@RGB1986]

I think you’re going too fast with the season . You skipped a lot of pod content

[@thestoryoffive]

🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊

[@mkaverage4773]

I can’t wait for you to react to the reunion. Coles a bit immature at times & can say dumb shit but… yikes.

[@mariepierre1244]

Rewind again

[@LoveJC1970]

Give me a brake. Cole is a good Guy. He is getting attacked left right and centre. Zainab is equally negative.

[@sarahe1491]

Cole is the biggest man-child ever and he's constantly talking negatively about Zenabs looks and making her feel like she's not good enough for him. And she's very insecure so its a terrible combo. But he's absolutely awful in this show.

[@Khiarika1]

Is he really that bad or are we just listening to Zanabs insecurity, manipulation and over exaggeration of all of his flaws?

[@Nana-or9vo]

He is really that bad

[@nicolapowell7730]

@@Nana-or9vo Thank you. He turned me off from the start.

[@kingofallthings8944]

I think some women can't accept being wrong and apologizing. On the reunion all the women laughed when they watched the clip of Zanab tearing Cole apart when he was trying to cook her dinner. Then Cole defended Zanab's behavior. That is exactly what happens when you deal with a narcissist. They make you the villain and claim to be a victim. You come away from every interaction not knowing where or how things went wrong and assume it was because of you. Zanab took every opportunity to degrade him and the last clip of the reunion show gives a clear look at her lies and manipulation.

[@Karamelaki]

May women don’t reach their 30s and behave like Zanab.

[@gusbus9000]

Cole learned the lesson the hard way....ALWAYS GO FOR THE CUTER YOUNGER GIRL....ALWAYS!

[@berkeleybear6217]

Wow. And…lesson for the ladies: never go for a guy who thinks this way ^

[@JustRaeesa]

It was really hard for me to watch Cole and Zanab interact throughout the show. I could tell she was hurting by misinterpreting/overthinking some innocent actions on his part (e.g. the "good" vs "great" comment you reacted to last time). I couldn't understand why she wouldn't just openly communicate how she feels, like say "when you do X it makes me feel like Y" and "I need reassurance" or "I feel insecure over how you feel about me" etc. (which is the formula my partner and I use to communicate). I think maybe its because she doesn't have the self-awareness to really understand what she's feeling and why, and instead lashes out or turns the table to blame Cole for some irrational feelings she has or legitimate fears. It was really heartbreaking because you can watch it and see clearly that he loves her but she seems to miss that. That all being said, him calling her a 9/10 and someone else a 10/10 was just not okay in my opinion and (of course) only further acted to harm her perception of things.

[@donato286]

Zay does have insecurities about her looks, and Cole wouldn't admit that, from the very beginning, he simply wasn't attracted to her looks. In the context of Alexa and Brennon, Dr. Honda mentions the topic of obsession at the beginning of a relationship. I didn't know he would discuss it here, but I raise the question of this obsession in Dr. Honda's previous video (I termed it the initial infatuation). In his previous video, Dr. Honda was looking to rationalize Cole's disinterested behavior after the first night with Zanab as potentially Cole being moody in the morning or having a particular routine. This time he pointed out what I said in my comment - at the beginning of a relationship we humans want to be in each other's faces all the time. It's unlikely that two people who are physically and sexually attracted to each other would go about their routine or wake up moody the morning after their first night together. I think Zay sensed this lack of interest which is not consistent with a person who is in the infatuation, or obsession phase, as Dr. Honda calls it. I do think Zay's guts were right, he wasn't into her physically after their first night together. I think Cole lacks the maturity to address such a situation and his immaturity produced the kind of comments and behaviors that pressed exactly those Zay's insecure buttons that she wouldn't want to have anyone press.

[@JustRaeesa]

​@@donato286 that's a really good point! Maybe he wasn't that physically attracted to her, was unable to reconcile that and she sensed it. That all being said, I do believe so much more would have been achieved had she just communicated/ verbalized this fear/sense. What was hard to watch was for her to just react to this sense / fear, instead of communicating it. Instead of saying how he made her feel, she was cold, stand-off-ish and kinda mean at times. I think her response is generally a bad way to approach things in any relationship. For example, if A and B are in a relationship and A inadvertently (or even intentionally- but let's hope thats not a thing!) hurts B, B should tell this to A: "when you did this it hurt me/made me feel a certain way" etc. B just acting negatively towards A, without explaining the reasoning, is not fair on A and does not facilitate improvement/ allow A to prevent it from happening again/ allow A to give B what they need. Ultimately, even if Zay's sense was correct, she should have communicated this sense instead of just reacting. Had she communicated it, maybe Cole could have given her the reassurance she needed, or, it could have given him the chance to reflect on whether he is attracted to her. Even if he handled it badly, which he very well may have based on your observation, how she went about it wasn't okay.

[@donato286]

@@JustRaeesa Agreed. I think her problem is her lack of self-love that correlates with her preoccupied attachment style. She relies on the partner to make her feel good about herself, so she is hypervigilant to any indications otherwise. For this reason, rather than become irritated, she gets angry. Irritation is much easier to put into constructive feedback than anger. So in order to avoid lashing out, she just replicated Cole's disinterested behavior. They both need to work, but I still side with Zanab who has been going to therapy and trying to work through the issues that have surfaced in this program, while I am pessimistic about people like Cole who, more often than not, choose to avoid the difficult path of self-growth and learning to be humble in the face of the privilege they possess, but they rather choose to use privilege to get themselves out of a difficult place and move on without a single care in the world. I hope Cole surprises me and proves me wrong. It will make the world a better place, even if just by a tiny bit. Bartise, for instance, is - for lack of a better term - a lost cause. He is an amplified Cole and has already shown that he is happy to breeze over everything he's said and done without turning back to see what he left in his wake. He only goes as far as doing damage control to preserve his image. I have more faith in Cole than I ever had in Bartise, but I'm not optimistic.