Q7: On Marrying Multiple Wives, Khaled Abou El Fadl Q&A with LAMLA 11.18.2017

Professor Khaled Abou El Fadl hosts a Q&A with Latino American Muslim converts who have studied his book, "The Great Theft: Wrestling Islam from the Extremists." While this session was for new converts, Dr. Abou El Fadl covers important common questions that confront all Muslims.

[@thikr11]

As a convert of over 30yrs I cant remain outwardly within this Ummah. My only hope at this time is to remain in connection with Allah. As a convert Im so isolated and have tried time and again to put on my hijab and go into a masjid for a halaqah or Jumah or just to try and create some semblance of a community, and although well intentioned on my part and that of most other Muslims, its a lost cause. I cant even find a husband who isnt either abusive, munipulative, ignorant, controlling or out to get a second wife. As a convert I cant even expect to have the same general expectations of a normal human being. Get married, have children, practice Islam. I have been married 4 times and each of those times it has ended in divorce. I have tried every which way because I truly wanted the simple life, one with God, with Children a good husband. Never asked for anything other than honesty, maturity and mutual love and respect. The lack of study opportunities for women are so hard to come by, just in a general sense of learning about Islam. I realize I'm being a bit black and white here and there are certainly exceptions to my experience. The Ummah is in serious trouble and has been for years. Im grateful to Usuli institute and the Shaykh and his wife in continuing to build the bridge.

[@yellowmellow4753]

Make lots of dua… it sounds cliche but it really works… I’m living proof. Never give up. Fear and despair are from the devil but faith and hope are from Allah.

[@yugeno]

@@yellowmellow4753 does it really? have you noticed your duas come true?

[@loveeveryonepeace9081]

Finally found a decent person who talks correct. And you can understand.

[@rabeafaraj1930]

I felt immense happiness finding this man and reading his books. Do you know of any like minded Muslim scholars, shyookh, writers?

[@Ya39oub_G]

That only proves that you didn't like what islam said and you didn't like the scholars consensus so you had to look for someone who says things that align with your desires. May Allah guide us

[@ldrago6031]

@@Ya39oub_Gbitter male spotted 😂

[@anamericanmuslim6399]

Mashallah, May Allah protect you and your family and give you the highest level of Jannah for your efforts.

[@BornInBosnia]

What efforts? Making things up in the religion of Allah?

[@fairouzsaad4930]

@@BornInBosnia i agree these people are making up their own religion

[@Ya39oub_G]

May Allah guide him to the truth to stop misguiding people or may Allah take him

[@Thirst-4knowledge]

That is exactly how I interpret the ayah that it clearly says in case of orphans you may marry 2, 3, or 4 if you think you can be just between them. I don’t understand why so many scholars who are pro polygamy would ignore the situation that allows for it. It clearly doesn’t say you can have multiple wives any time you want if you know you can be fair.

[@cladclad4502]

This guy is biased. Read the Qur'an again. Thanks

[@afia9641]

@@cladclad4502 , I did read the quran. It does say in 4:3 that "if you cant do justice to orphans", that clearly means more than one wife is allowed if you marry widows with orphans. Otherwise, there is NO NEED to mention orphans when it come to polygamy

[@lunarsensitive1]

@@afia9641 I've read a scholar's interpretation that it means that in those days men would target the orphan girls under their guardianship to marry them so that they could take away all their money and that the Quran is telling them that if they can't marry those orphan girls under their care and treat them fairly then they can marry other women who aren't orphans under their guardianship. I believe this is from a hadith narrated by Aisha. Of course, only Allah knows the true meaning. However, it is true that regardless of orphans or no orphans, you have to be able to be completely fair to your wives and a man has a heart too and can't help but be partial to the wife he loves more.

[@Lina.honey1]

Yes!! It’s unbelievable how a lot of Muslims believe that a man can simply have 4 wives just because they want to and it’s an “Islam right” 🙄 IT’S NOT! Because if you were to look at it, having 4 wives out of desire ruins the purpose of being in a protected marriage, because at that point, the guy is only going after his lusts and not lowering his gaze. Polygamy is ONLY there as a solution to serious issues, such as the orphans case, not able to have children, etc. The origins of Islam has always been, and always will be, with only 1 wife! The main scholars of Islam and the majority of jurists have all agreed that having one wife is the correct, main way. And Allah knows best.

[@Ya39oub_G]

That's because it's untrue and you can read any Tafseer and this guy is against the scholarly consensus and trying to "reform" islam to suit the desires of people like you who think they can have their own understanding of what islam actually islam says to follow their whims and the liberal narrative that go against islam.

[@dearrationals]

Men are equally responsible for the upbringing of children. What do you think happens to children when they see their fathers abusing their mothers?

[@centric145]

Sakina the great grandaughter of the prophet was an interesting person.She did not covered her hair ,put conditions in her mariage contract regarding polygamy....I wish to read about her.does anyone knows where I can find resources ?

[@kousar1233]

Subhannallah you are looking for fitnah, just follow the Sunnah of the prophet (saw). If hijab was ordained by Allah then follow Allah’s command.just because she is the grand daughter of the prophet and she does wrong doesn’t mean we copy her

[@centric145]

@@kousar1233 there are a lot of proofs covering head is not obligatory.Even dr AbuFadl mentioned that.

[@afia9641]

@@kousar1233 Hijab is not ordained by Allah kzbin.info/www/bejne/najTpICng6-Va9k

[@dearrationals]

@@kousar1233 Should we not learn about Islamic history? Why should we not gain knowledge? Should things be hidden from us? Hmmm..

[@centric145]

@@sharky56493 that is what we Fadl said.I was looking for MORE resources

[@rabeafaraj1930]

Alhumdulilah. Baraka allahu feek. الله يجازيك خير في الدنيا و الاخرة و يجعلك ساكن اعلى مراتب الجنة.

[@Ya39oub_G]

كلامه كله عار عن الصحة و يتخذ أسلوب المجددين الذين يحاولون تقديم تفسيرات معاصرة للقرآن و السنة خلافا لإجماع علماء الأمة

[@ldrago6031]

@@Ya39oub_Gliesss

[@josephs9451]

Why Alla did not creat 4 eve's to one Adam?

[@DrWoofOfficial]

so we can all have one mother and father as an origin

[@goodGirlgonebad953]

Thank you for uploading this interesting Video. I've got a question I've always hear jurists preach that it is a good deed if a man marrys multiple wives, because they are helping the ummah to grow. Is this a reasonable reason?

[@lifechoices6643]

In Sufism there's a batini nikaah, ie a nikaah undertaken for spiritual purpose

[@lifechoices6643]

Lying may be a big sin, yet withholding information can be necessary at times if the intent is correct.For example,in Sufism, there's a rule not to divulge what one sees and hears to others if the intent is to protect others.

[@DrWoofOfficial]

But what about this? Narrated 'Urwa: that he asked `Aisha about the Statement of Allah: 'If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (the captives) that your right hands possess. That will be nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.' (4.3) `Aisha said, "O my nephew! (This Verse has been revealed in connection with) an orphan girl under the guardianship of her guardian who is attracted by her wealth and beauty and intends to marry her with a Mahr less than what other women of her standard deserve. So they (such guardians) have been forbidden to marry them unless they do justice to them and give them their full Mahr, and they are ordered to marry other women instead of them."

[@unaizamalik2036]

Beautiful💗💗💗

[@Ya39oub_G]

It's an abomination of islam and trying to reform the Deen based on lies that goes against the scholarly consensus

[@ldrago6031]

@@Ya39oub_Gyou’re a abomination

[@ALL_TIME_HASH_GAMER]

He just said what every scholar tries to say. Nouman ali khan, mufti menk,shabbir ally share the same thoughts!

[@sugagal1000]

Thank you so much for this. I could not accept what the patriarchy say. The sad thing is the patriarchy are pushing woman away from Islam. At one time I felt like this.

[@Ya39oub_G]

What do you mean by the patriarchy ? Are you muslim or a feminist ?

[@ldrago6031]

@@Ya39oub_Gcry harder

[@afia9641]

i agree, its pushing women like me away from islam too. I am Done

[@lifechoices6643]

I would personally have more than one wife only in 2 conditions: with the permission of the first wife and only if the second wife supports my spiritual mission.

[@shoaibbhat279]

With due respect to the eminent scholar & his views , i still find it pertient to bring into discussion the opposing interpretation of the same verse which allows polygamy (i risk of being accused of having a strong male bias) that has existed throughout the islamic history and the institution of polygamy (in Islam ) has almost never been criticised or denied like the shaykh and few other modern scholars do. I think emphasizing monogamy and reading the verse in this manner ignores the way men & women are biologically and evolutionarily build. Men are designed to actualize their sexuality primarily in physical terms with emotional content being subsidiary or secondary. Women on other hand in relationships seek security & safety (and this has an anthropological evidence ) . The question here is who doesnt want the institution of polygamy to exist- men or women ? The answer almost unanimously is women , and why because it threatens their safety & security needs , more so in traditional & ancient societies where they were almost exclusively dependent on men (the institution of polyandry of course has severe problems. In my humble opinion the verse could also be read in a different way which is in its context ( although Mr Khaled also does the same but arrives at different results) - the institution of polygamy already existed in the socio-cultural context of Quran . If Quran wanted to ban it (as Mr Khaled nearly implies) then there would have been a clear 'nass' of Quran to it - which is not. Rather it seems that Quran maintains the institution of polygamy but tries to leverage it to use it for greater social justice ie post war rehabilitation of orphans. Despite this sahabas did not marry multiple wives for the sole reason of rehabilitating the orphans . And it is also interesting as to what is the source of saying "most of sahabas were in monogamous marraiges " . Shaykh's viewpoint is also devoid of taking into consideration the idea of "nikah mutah" which existed in early islam ( thereby allowing & recognising the amative aspect of man-woman union ) and i guess sahabas had nikah - mutah while being married already. The viewpoint is also ignorant of the allowing of sexual relationships with slave girls (malakat aymaanukum) while being married already . To conclude my viewpoint , it is quite logical to say that humans like most other animals are polygamous (both men & women ) but men are polygamous in space & women are polygamous in time .

[@DrWoofOfficial]

Narrated 'Urwa: that he asked `Aisha about the Statement of Allah: 'If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (the captives) that your right hands possess. That will be nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.' (4.3) `Aisha said, "O my nephew! (This Verse has been revealed in connection with) an orphan girl under the guardianship of her guardian who is attracted by her wealth and beauty and intends to marry her with a Mahr less than what other women of her standard deserve. So they (such guardians) have been forbidden to marry them unless they do justice to them and give them their full Mahr, and they are ordered to marry other women instead of them."

[@marwaelraey2288]

What is the evidence that "one wife is the healthy" way?

[@Treasure-bl3cn]

read Quran. One wife is better is stated in Sure an Nisa everywhere

[@Ya39oub_G]

​@@Treasure-bl3cn It begins by saying you can marry 2, 3 or 4 and *IF* you are afraid to not be fair to them then marry only one and even after that you can have what your right hand possesses. Stop trying to reform islam because it will not work and you'll be accountable in front of Allah.

[@afia9641]

@@Ya39oub_G read the full verse 4:3. Quran says "one is better for you"

[@Ya39oub_G]

@@afia9641 No it doesn't, it begins with 2, 3 and 4 and *IF* you are afraid to not be able to do justice *THEN* marry one. فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَ ثُلَـٰثَ وَ رُبَـٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟ "then marry other women of your choice-two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then ˹content yourselves with˺ one or those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession. This way you are less likely to commit injustice." Quran 4: 3

[@mina.j97]

- The Qur'an is clear that if you won't be able to treat all of your wives fairly, then you should only marry one. - It’s sunnah not to marry more than one wife without obvious need Source: Mughnī al-Muḥtāj 4/207 - The preference is to not marry more than one wife, as mentioned in Al-Mujarrad, due to the saying of Allah Almighty: If you fear you will not be just, then only one. (4:3) And due to His saying: You will never be able to be just between your wives, even if it is your ardent desire. (4:129) Source: al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr 20/24

[@frogsandrobbers]

Who said people who come from polygamous families are damaged???!!!! What data do you have on that? A seriously islamophobic comment.

[@yugeno]

islamophobic?? bro what are you talking about. and what he said is true. i've read many comments online of people who grew up in polygamous households and they said they have trauma from it.

[@frogsandrobbers]

@@yugeno great data collection from youtube comments lol. Totally a racist and orientalist comment from the shaykh. In my country polygamy is normal, halal, and part of family life. Shaykh should talk about haram promiscuity and not attack an islamic family institution

[@ldrago6031]

@@frogsandrobbers😂

[@RabiaSammy]

@@frogsandrobbersa brothel * “Family institution” lmao

[@afia9641]

@@frogsandrobbers basic tenant of a relationship between a man and a woman is TRUST and LOYALTY. Do you understand that? Do you also understand that if a woman (wife) is under extreme stress, depression, angry, sad , because her husband is spending half of his time with another woman, she would mentally be not fit to raise mentally normal and happy children?

[@mohammadadaileh6218]

He keeps saying, Wahhabi Islam. Can you define it? so-called Wahabis are on Hanbali Math-hab; what is he talking about!

[@Ya39oub_G]

Because he is a reformist may Allah save us

[@LegitBossMan]

What type of interpretation of the ayah is this? The verse is talking about marrying orphan girls NOT taking care of them. Subhanallah may Allah protect us from Bid'ah

[@choctawbae2847]

No it’s not??? That surah is about discussing the family units, there are multiple verses discussing orphans and how to properly care for them.

[@Yousg27]

Please be careful with regard who you take you islamic knowledge from. There is no disagreement among Muslim scholars regarding the permissibility of having multiple wives.

[@Treasure-bl3cn]

it's not allowed. End

[@Yousg27]

@@Treasure-bl3cn 😁 okay! Based on what?

[@Yousg27]

@Sam E if you say so!! I guess no one knew it was restricted for 1400 years until this video was published. Its allowed based on quran + hadith + the consensus of the ummah for 1400 yeard, but you can belive whatever you want!!

[@musicisdead411]

@ilamos ___ good luck finding 4 women who even want to marry you LOL

[@tisko7188]

@ilamos ___ no you need more than money. You need to just in emotional, physical and financial means

[@fairouzsaad4930]

The prophet is the only one who explained the Quran no one has the right to invent in the religion of Allah please learn how the prophet spoke and taught this great religion

[@peacemaker1luv901]

Salaams Paradise is a huge place. The more people, the better. It’s the greatest challenge for sisters to test their arrogance. The life of the prophet Muhammad is our example and teaching and he (as) encouraged us to have a lot of children. Materialists are afraid of provisions and sustenance so the population game is a huge factor for them. Marry as many wives as you can and have as many babies as you can iA!!! Jannah is on ALLAH!!! Just follow a few guidelines and we’re in.

[@Treasure-bl3cn]

this is the most dumbest comment I read. Like WTF ? You asshole men should be tested by your arrogance

[@anonymanonym4590]

Please. What are u Talking about

[@Ar-bp2wl]

​@@anonymanonym4590 dude wants to be the next Ganghis Khan with over 500 wives as stated by comment of 'marry as many wives'...perfect example of lust in the name of relgn aka munafiqeen!

[@peacemaker1luv901]

@@Treasure-bl3cn Your dad was a man. Please grow up.

[@peacemaker1luv901]

@@Ar-bp2wl obviously within the confines of sharia. As the Quran states, 2,3, or 4, and if you fear you can't be just then just one.

[@chadspinnox566]

It's only in the wahabi school where a woman can put a condition of no polygamy and all the schools of thought say no. This man completely denied this. Omg Academic dishonesty

[@Treasure-bl3cn]

what a bullshit. You wahabis are the Problem

[@desertezz]

This isn't true, the Maliki school allows for this stipulation to be included in the contract. Please educate yourself and have some humility in regards to your ignorance of the topic.

[@afia9641]

follow school of your heart. Ask Allah to put the right thing in your heart. and then do what your hearts tells you to do. Every human being is different, and everyone's relationship with God is different. Do whats right for you

[@Ya39oub_G]

You mean the Hanbali madhab, and I advise people to not follow this guy because he is a reformist trying to make a new version of islam.

[@Ya39oub_G]

​@@desertezz Any proof because it is only the Hanbali madhab that allows it ?

[@mahmudadeniyi9876]

Orientalist sheik!

[@chadspinnox566]

He is clearly inconsistent with the Quran

[@cladclad4502]

Stop discouraging people. If someone can do multiple wives then what is your problem? You're said things from your biased mind as well. I can see clear jealousy in you. May Allah guide u

[@miowmiowmiow123]

Jealousy of what? He could easily say otherwise if he wanted to. You sound insecure and threatened because of a different fatwa or opinion to what YOU want to hear.

[@cladclad4502]

I know the Qur'an. I know what the scholars say about these stats of the Qur'an. He is just stupid Nd he is no scholar. He is just someone who read the ayat and never tried to actually study the ayat. I know what I'm talking about. I'm threatened because he is spreading fitna. no one has the right to say something without knowledge about the Qur'an. You're defending him because you have absolutely no knowledge. You can't just give fatwa according to your will!!!!!!!!!!!! U need grounds and study and be a scholar before you give fatwa. People like this are enemies to Islam

[@miowmiowmiow123]

@@cladclad4502 Real muslims don't go around calling people stupid. And maybe you should follow your own advice and allow scholars do the talking, not people with no legitimate mufti status like you.

[@cladclad4502]

Real Muslims take a stand when someone is misinterpreting the Qur'an and spreading fitna. See? You don't even know what a real Muslim does. Aaahahahahahahaha Stop embarrassing yourself. Jazakhallah Khair

[@miowmiowmiow123]

@@cladclad4502 You really need to understand how fatwas actually work before talking about them. If you did basic research you would know many mufti's have similar views. Anyway, you sound pretty young from how silly you are with your words, maybe one day you'll learn to have a decent intellectual debate with an open mind.