Quaaludes, Shakedowns & Tamaulipan Cloud Forests

In this video, I sound as though I have just picked myself up off the ground after being kicked in the testicles - blame it on the importance of keeping a low-profile in this region. It's hot and not just in terms of temperature. Join us for some remarkably underwhelming narration as we explore the sketchy cloud forests of Tamaulipas in a video that was so boring to listen to that I almost didn't post it. Regardless, the caves are pretty cool. Enjoy.
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[@thetwopointslow]

This wasn’t boring-your voice is proof you are surely morphing into the next Attenborough.

[@natepowell1914]

Tony Chicagenborough

[@ingeleonora-denouden6222]

Please don 't. When I hear Attenborough's voice I turn down the sound to 0.

[@Gwyllgi]

@@ingeleonora-denouden6222 You are literally the ONLY person i have ever read saying they don't like attenborough voice haha. What don't you like if I may ask?

[@gramursowanfaborden5820]

@@Gwyllgi my gran doesn't like Attenborough because she's been around longer than he has and she's fed up of seeing/hearing him.

[@JackLanterns]

He reminds me of McKenna honestly

[@mv9201]

i like to think that you wake up 30 seconds before you start filming in the middle of wherever you wake up and you have absolutely no idea how you got there

[@henryjarnigan]

lmfao

[@drakoinx]

Same. I like to think he picks all the drugs he finds, wakes up from his haze randomly and starts again haha.

[@noodleboi6711]

I will continue to think this

[@NewMessage]

I sense a distinct lack of caffeine in this episode.

[@rickyrick5586]

New Message I skip the caffeine and go straight for the ice methamphetamine 👍😳🤘

[@rickyrick5586]

paul beenis nah I actually skip the meth now..after 20 years on the stuff I quit 3 years ago after using a caapi root and chacruna ayahuasca brew .i also dabbled with mimosa hostilis purple root bark extraction of crystal dmt.have no desire to do speed or opiates anymore .plants are a life saver

[@rickyrick5586]

R 🤣 yep I had a helluva ride for 20 years on it.

[@nicocaffarilla8556]

I wouldnt want to stumble into any people in this jungle

[@BillBondsHasAPosse]

Ricky Rick I like valerian root

[@ryPish]

Those caverns are trippy AF, the weird fog (?) causing all sorts of orbs and werid floaty shit, the lovecraftian tentacle wall of solid stone slowly inching its way towards its human prey... trippy. The chill narration also helps. I'm gonna have to come back to this one a few times.

[@snuugumz]

Ry P ...you had me at ‘Lovecraftian tentacle’, you beast. Joey, stay da fuck outta dose caves. You’ll think it’s rain ☔️ but it’s all those gaddam bats havin’ a group piss, fer crissakes.

[@marensaffell8864]

LOOK AT THE LITTLE BEGONIA! god i love these videos!

[@shiloroe6971]

Me an you both the man's knowledge is unreal...

[@growmiezhomiez8760]

man thats beautiful landscape n what the shit...

[@mrslinkydragon9910]

Shame about the drug smugglers

[@FullModernAlchemist]

I once found a lichen that was growing in a small creek in the piedmont of North Carolina that had branching flat fern-like overlapping scales and it smelled strongly of lemons. Specifically a lemon oil like smell. It might have even produced Limonine. Also it had completely covered the rocks it was growing on up to the water line. It's also possible it was an algae because I was a kid at the time but I've been trying to figure out what it was for literally decades. If anyone here has any idea please let me know.

[@_LocalGhost_]

I love the stuff you make, super chill and fun, don't stop! (Well do stop if you want to, but I hope you don't ever feel that way) I can't speak for everyone, but I do like it when you talk about capitalism, gentrification and homelessness, and other such topics. It's nice to hear about how larger issues affect not only us but our environment here, especially because so many channels pretend like such things don't exist, don't matter, aren't relevant, or aren't acceptable to talk about. Definitely don't let the grandpa's and incels whining make you tone it down.

[@davidbarts6144]

Nostoc. Who's there? Algae. Algae who? Al, gee, don't take igneous rocks for granite.

[@bobair2]

Good one !

[@snuugumz]

David Barts Algae saw a bear 🐻 The Bear saw Algae The Bear was bulgey The bulge was Algae.

[@aprilkurtz1589]

Gneiss.

[@alyssav2124]

The scenery here was breathtaking, and I am grateful that you uploaded it regardless of how boring you thought your commentary to be. We all are our own worst critic, after all. Seriously, what a beautiful place. To paraphrase you, lookin' at this makes me feel a little less like fuckin' killing myself. Thanks so much for sharing with us!

[@PlayMoGame]

This video was excellent. Narration was very relaxing and still has bits of humor

[@scottmiller4157]

Really enjoy my mornings as I sit drinking coffee watching your videos. Appreciate you. Thank you.

[@shitbag.]

Not boring at all. A good way to wind down the day.

[@dynastesgigas6996]

You need to go to Mt. Kinabalu. I spent my summer in Malaysian Borneo (Sabah) doing an internship, and I had a chance to climb the mountain. Absolutely insane plant diversity. EDIT: If you think you want to do this, you can get a flight to Sabah for around $1,000, depending on how well you can tolerate really long flights. You'd arrive in Kota Kinabalu (the only major international airport in Sabah), and then there are buses that go up to the mountain. After that, hiking around the mountain near the park headquarters requires some small fees (I don't remember how much it was in USD), while going up higher requires a guide and is more expensive, depending on what you want to do. The trail to the peak from the park HQ goes through a lot of cloud forest, and eventually gets to ultramafic habitats and a very unusual tropical alpine scrub forest. There's also the Mesilau trail, which starts in a different location, and also goes to the peak. The major difference is that you can take a guided botany-centric hike along the trail to see Nepenthes rajah and Paphiopedilum rothschildianum. Visitors aren't allowed to do this hike alone due to some really severe plant poaching problems, but I'm sure they'd allow you to take a video.

[@gawsrocks]

Sounds awesome, screenshotting this and I hope to do this one day

[@thomasrobertmalthus7277]

If I was creepin' around in Mexican jungle I would keep my voice down too. I loved wandering around down there 30 years ago... but today? I love 98% of the Mexican people but they tell me there is too much crazy shit going down these days. Be safe, amigo. Thanks for sharing. PS. Book recommendation re: trekking jungles of Mexico. www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/tim-gallagher/imperial-dreams/

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Basically why I was quieter than usual

[@patcaza6166]

here's the book www.ebook3000.com/animals/Imperial-Dreams_327105.html if you wanna look at it while you wait for you Amazon delivery... and dont go clicking on the download button like a newb, the working link starts with the word longfile

[@anavrinquark]

@@patcaza6166 Awesome! Muchas gracias! Any more recommendations with links?

[@diosamurcielaga9418]

@@joakos1122 I was there a month ago, it's so fantastic!

[@PlayRoom44]

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't I was wondering why you’re so quiet

[@coolsammichherohunter6248]

I feel like i was walking in the woods with you listening to the birds bro. Thanks for these videos

[@JacksonCA2]

I love this for the opportunity to learn new words, alone! Plus trying to absorb some plant knowledge and some geology. It’s just good stuff. Thanks, Tony.

[@hell0turdle672]

Im really glad that you decided to post this.

[@carennorthcutt7724]

Thank you for the education.

[@ironbarsjack7977]

I love how much these videos make me laugh. I don’t feel like I’m learning but I am and it’s so cool.

[@patricktheplantguy]

I love how you present the facts

[@fop6033]

For being a boring video, I quite enjoyed it. Found the pissing to be relaxing and when you saw that begonia, hilarious!

[@nunyabisness6650]

Thank you! You are a great teacher. I love watching your classes.

[@davidkaplan2745]

Excellent sound in this video, with the dripping water and the crickets.

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

NOW you're someplace interesting. I've never had a lichen grow for me by trying. Even that big staghorn lichen down in Monterey or so that reminds of Spanish moss from a distance as it hangs down from Oaks by several feet. You ever see Monstera deliciosa in the wild? One of the worlds most striking plants and icon of the jungle look. Love them. Taste pretty good too if you can time the fruit to ripen perfectly. Always chancy though...

[@mitragenius2437]

This is one of my favorite ones you’ve posted, idk how you find the time but I’m so grateful that you do.💚

[@ck88777]

Is that the cactus of the four winds in your profile pic

[@mitragenius2437]

It’s pachanoi or bridgesii I forgot, I think jr lllks like the pachanoi definitely. I believe it’s just a temporary thing though, and they’ll grow new ribs or lose them all the time.

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

Thank you for sharing the gorgeous places you visit. Stay safe.

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

This was so peaceful. Reminds me of when I went camping in south west Australia and I got to go caving and daily bush tracking it was beautiful. I was in a big group of school mates so that was shit but this brings back the good memories. You’re never boring !

[@chucktaylor4958]

Beautiful. Agaves, bromeliads, orchids, ferns, and mosses growing together.

[@stephenspark9358]

Taxol is the compound you are talking about the drug is Paclitaxel lung,ovarian and breast cancer as well as Kaposi sarcoma are treated with it

[@lorindac5774]

This might be my favorite video of yours yet! Orchids and ferns AND stalagmites?!! Heck yes!

[@synch985]

I love this guy, i feel like im learning something new every vid.

[@irisheathen]

You are MFing hilarious; I know nothing of Botany. I just wanted to see a cloud forest and now I'm subscribed. Here's to learning something.

[@RelicofNod]

The lichen is Usnea sp. we have one just like it here in Florida, aptly named Usnea florida

[@dpetty3461]

Thanks! I've found that several times and wondered wth kind of lichen it was.

[@mikaelgaiason688]

You've taught me a lot, so I'll return the favor. That large mineral formation on the FLOOR of the cave is a stalagmite, not a stalactite. A stalactite would be hanging "tight" onto the ceiling.

[@mikaelgaiason688]

@Tom Sanders lmao is that referencing that you "might" get laid if the "tights" come down? Or am I just a deviant? :D

[@JacksonCA2]

Mikael Gaiason: Stalactites frequently reach from the ceiling to the floor of a cave...there were both, obviously, in the cave we were shown.

[@mikaelgaiason688]

@@JacksonCA2 Stalactites ALWAYS come down from the ceiling, not sometimes, and he was obviously filming a stalactite when he said "look at that stalagmite." I never claimed that there were no stalagmites in the video.

[@SiegePerilousEsauMaltomite]

My phone is dark so I though it may have been a pillar, which is what the thing is called when the unite in eternal matrimony

[@twinvideoproduction9662]

Wonderful and very informative video. Great knowledge. Enjoyed the cave and karst flora footage.Thank you.

[@mr.pandersh2674]

bring back the fockin Quaaludes

[@tehfuqizg0inon588]

Lmao rip the kid from Brooklyn!! BRING BACK THE FUKIN QUAALUDDESS!

[@bok..]

I love drug induced retrograde amnesia!

[@aboz8649]

W W W DAT THE KID FROM BWROOKLEN DAT COM bless the big man up in heaven aye

[@StationOfTerrapin]

I met a woman who was my ex girlfriends ma. We smoked weed together. She's from Houston but was a model and used to party in NYC when she was in her 20s, back in the 70s and whatnot. "YOU KIDS NEVER HAD A QUEEELUDE!!! WE USED TO DO QUEELUDES AND DO A HUGE LINE OF COKE" Man people did a lot of drugs in the 70s

[@MrsLisaCrow]

Having one of those days. Thank you for being here. ❤️

[@zenseed75]

So much knowledge! 🤯 ❤️

[@ingeleonora-denouden6222]

Wow, what a wonderful cave! These stalactites, stalagmites and other shapes formed by water dripping! I could watch this for hours 🙄 Plants are nice too, but I see plants every day . There's no cave where I live.

[@joepopotterbutler6555]

I like it best when your CPBBDness is at about 6, as in this video. Still like it when it's turned up to 11. But this was great for me.

[@spiralthedragon9847]

Your videos are so entertaining and educational wtf I love them

[@MrAce0r]

I liked the video very much, many interesting plants here. Thanks for sharing and uploading :)

[@Nhoj31neirbo47]

I’ve been fascinated by the pine-oak cloud forest since I learned of it studying the resident orchid species , which are difficult to grow under readily provided cultural conditions. I’m currently growing Agave mitis and a ‘rock’ Ficus, Ficus palmeri, so it was fun and informative to see your footage of them in situ.

[@oldairyheir]

There is no better artist than Nature herself.

[@spijkerpoes]

I was in the Vercors mountain range. Same limy circumstance, completely different species.. Cave reminded me of HR Giger

[@dwainkitchel1316]

this video makes me wonder if u made it out of Mexico alive?

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Almost didn't. Tamaulipas is the sketchiest state I've been to.

[@elementaldemon4624]

"It looks like eh kinda a sketchy sinkhole. So lemme walk up towards it really quick" This man is the steve irwin of botany.

[@SeventhSamurai72]

The power of 'ludes compels you :) Thank you for another entertaining & educational post!

[@thehalfblindastronomer8936]

First time learning about Crassulacean acid metabolism. Had to pause and go look for a more in depth video about it, Khan academy had a great one. Cool shit. The concept of the unconscious force of evolution selecting for all these traits is what makes this miserable existence worth it, thanks for the visual and auditory panacea for the poison that is modern human life.

[@nicocaffarilla8556]

Come to Ajijic, right off of Lake Chapala. Beautiful climate, fauna, geology, etc. and you wont need to worry about stumbling into somewhere youre not meant to be lol

[@toddstropicals]

Thanks Joe! Yep only in Socotra! I have a lot of frankincense trees indigenous to Socotra.

[@mrslinkydragon9910]

Im thinking about going out there before the UAE takes it over to make a holiday island.

[@grannyplants1764]

Frankincense /Boswellia is so interesting Mine is really old, I’ve been doing well with it these past 5 years

[@troyclayton]

Awesome Clethra, it's huge! Clethra alnifolia (summersweet or sweet pepperbush) is a native shrub I often see here in New England and there are a number of horticultural varieties commonly planted. Funny to see Carya ovata so far south, I live right near the northernmost point of it's natural range in my area. We have 2 saplings in our yard, my GF loves them. The tiny leaves are so cool when they first unfold from the buds in the spring. Thanks for another great video!

[@CRMayerCo]

Well, I guess you might as well be calm. Nothing you can say or do will stop, or even slow us down as we hurtle along towards the next great extinction.

[@natepowell1914]

That Sceptridium is sweet dude. Found em in Northern Tennessee before. Love the dimorphic frond anatomy, reminds me of the oakleaf and staghorn ferns.

[@lizardywizard]

Stunning - and beautiful to someone who lives in and comes from limestone country. Most of the deposits local to me are ancient coral reefs formed under seas we cannot imagine in relation to modern geography because geography was very different and had many changes to go through between then and now, for sure. The shape of the hills in some places can describe / display the rate that the water levels in those ancient seas rose at accelerating rates - going by the profiles observed ~ quickly tapering.

[@ThePopeslayer]

Damn. I didn't even know I liked botany before finding out your videos. Shits interesting as fuck

[@zoysiaguy3757]

Thanks for the videos I appreciate the knowledge

[@bluewaterpines8323]

Thano you for the walk. Very pleasant. Be well.

[@Cannabissssh]

I was secretly in love with this guy for the LONGEST time. Now, I am just publicly so. I enjoy these videos more than I ever could express. Personality, check. Looks, check. Sweet-talkin' Italian voice, check. A shared love for botany, mostly cactus and succulent, check, and check. *sigh*

[@crazykansan3026]

I didn’t find it boring at all. In fact I have come to enjoy your voice and liked the “softer” tone.

[@BrandiCouch]

Oh boy! I love the word of the day! I watch alone so I save up my groin kicks for strangers in public!

[@tonysweetdogwalker]

@9:24 there's an 👽 alien head sitting right there looking at you!!!

[@elykrishna5017]

I did not realize there were cloud forests on the Atlantic side of Mexico It looks amazing

[@nancynickerson4341]

"Back to the saga of the lesser-known beans." Better-known now, thanks to CPBBD.

[@danellonzo1887]

Sink hole and you walk right up to it !!!!!???? Brave man indeed - your vids are amazing

[@mkmoliski]

The Garfield Park fern dungeon is a treasure!

[@itzelpretzel]

Lyquidambar styraciflua is such a kickass scientific name.

[@afourthfool]

Neat lichen! You stepping near that sinkhole made my stomach turn. Good walk.

[@burgerbobbelcher]

I love this channel so much. You're fantastic.

[@patterguitsit7124]

Amazing spot. Hope you don't get caught so you keep going back and filming it for us.

[@aprilkurtz1589]

No...please don't go back. It's not worth your life or health.

[@monkey93xf]

You're so much calmer surrounded completely by nature

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

And the cartel! 😁

[@Spiritmedic]

Dude! Love your energy and green intelligence. If you ever get out to SW Idaho, got to look me up! I’ll take you flying in my beater Cessna.

[@tednugent8501]

U had me at "ludes" man.

[@B1gplantmama98]

Love your videos man haha

[@jacobjerny7502]

It’s so weird to see a tree like sweet gum in such an exotic location. Like up in the south it’s practically a trash tree

[@rosiecatbandit]

Love all the hidden holes and crags. Must be part hobbit, because I'd be scurrying down them to have a look.

[@craigwells6227]

Your show is the plant worlds shakedown street poster photo. Thank you for that.

[@oldsourandsweet]

You should go to Mitchell Caverns in the mojave...and if you do, get a tour with Andy! The most incredible caves I've ever seen

[@Nephutis]

the interesting plants and geology more than make up for the very slightly underwhelming narration lol

[@aprilkurtz1589]

He had to be quiet. There are drug cartels all over there.

[@ashlady9]

Having the captions on your videos is hilarious. It can’t keep up with the names of these plants. Purple intercom. I send a point study family. Oh ya, look at it little book on you. There’s the fruits on the photo carpets.

[@gaberuano4714]

I came here only for the finest narration of the mundane and my friend you always deliver. Keep up the good work 👌🎩

[@viennadesou6546]

I dk why I find listening to a Chicogoan talk profanely at me about horticulure to be soothing.

[@sickel101]

mosquito noises in this are scaring the shit out of me bro

[@OrangevayaMysh]

That is the most beautiful forest i've ever seen. Hope to see this scenery in person one day, really damn breathtaking

[@michaelnancyamsden7410]

Thank you for this botany lesson mixed with geology. I could never get there myself. Interested in the gymnosperm classification.

[@alexnicholas2938]

The cave is good because it's still flowing good and growth is expected for a very long time.😉

[@hughwood947]

You're a brave soul. En Tamaulipas, so far from God, and so close to the USA. Check the State Department's travel advisory next time you go down there. Assuming you returned in one piece.

[@annathiika5755]

Incredible habitat, thanks so much for posting, it's so beautiful it kinda makes me wanna cry how people seem hell bent on fucking it all up. Have you ever checked out the patterned peatlands here in Minnesota? Definitely not as warm as the Mojave but absolutely stunning stuff.

[@SaraJean85]

Wow this is a great video... show some tarantulas if u find any.. I make videos about mine...would be kool to find them in the nature! Lol

[@christyhughes6632]

Not boring. Definitely one of my guilty pleasures. For some reason I haven't quite figured out, I like you first thing in the morning... Wherever you are today have a good one. B safe xo me

[@ringsystemmusic]

Funny you take time to point out the sweetgum- they're all over where I live. I despise those things' little seed pods, too. They're just the right size to get stuck under the trucks of my skateboard and send me ass over teakettle.

[@codyv308]

i dunno i kinda like your voice in this vid its more relaxed

[@katiekane5247]

My favorite type of church, just beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

[@drmntpibb]

Very nice!

[@kiteme1141]

love ya bud

[@boredguy52]

This was one of your coolest videos!

[@cgriggsiv]

A beautiful garden of Eden in Mexico rainforest

[@susaneirthug415]

Dang, I am so glad you posted this. It's like southern Indiana limestone caves but the " plaints" above. Whooweeee! Seeing this got my mind off my troubles. I got attacked by yuppie Nazi "gentrifiers" on my neighborhood page yesterday.

[@FixedGearFox]

.... you dont have the requisite 500mg of caffeine in you today, brotha... Was wondering who you were for the first few minutes, was kinda scared.