Questions You Should Ask About Your Partner's Past

When we first start dating someone we're excited about, we want to know all about their past. Often, we want to make sure we don't mess up or figure out their emotional baggage. This video encourages you to reflect on your need to know about their past and what questions you SHOULD ask about their past...just maybe not on the first date.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
Reaction Reset is a self-help series that explains the psychology behind why we react negatively and how we can begin to make a positive change. Subscribe for a new episode every other Wednesday!
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[@radutimis]

So - in your view - is it appropriate to ask a woman how many sexual partners did she have? In my experience, many women become defensive or angry, or change the subject, or tend to hide or lie about the real number... And it’s not about judging them, it is because this is - usually - a strong predictor of their (in)capacity to bond with a man.

[@ItWillRainXO]

This is an excellent video! Thank you very much for sharing this insight!

[@ItWillRainXO]

Those are such helpful questions at the end!!

[@jakesdekker7503]

Ask what you want, as long as you are prepared to answer the same about yourself. Otherwise it is an interview.

[@jayguti9658]

I wonder if Mary Jo Rapini had a client ask "Is it a deal breaker if he is scorpio (Horoscope)?" When you say "You dated multiple people at the same time," do you mean you cheated in the past or where you "getting to know" 2+ people at the same time? I think that there is a difference between "getting to know" multiple POTENTIAL partners at the same time and cheating. Are there any questions you should NEVER ask a partner about their past? As a man, how do you ask a women if you are her physical type? Because if she has only dated guys that are different than me, then she may not like me on a physical level which is important to me.

[@MaryJoRapini]

Lots of great questions, Jay. Take your time, personally, I error in the side of respecting privacy unless it could possibly sabotage a value of mine in the future. If the person I am dating cheated in the past I hope they will feel comfortable enough to tell me about it. I am looking more for feelings of shame or guilt in regards to a new dates answer.

[@denisships2861]

An important question nowadays to avoid surprises right out front is did you had/have an onlyfans account?

[@HLD0205]

What if your fiancé had an affair with a woman who was married and they ended up engaged? She broke it off. Now we’re together a few years later. He still receives polite and friendly texts from her; he texts her back, says he’s being polite and will not block her. His family does not believe in cutting off relationships but maintaining friendships. His mother still considers her part of the family. They do not have kids together.

[@MaryJoRapini]

I think your fiancé has terrible boundaries Nd is violating yours. He won’t change but you can. You deserve better.

[@danielpaulsmith11]

Thank you so much

[@bradleywesterford3587]

my(now ex) cheated in her prior relationship, but always swore she learned her lesson and that she would never do that to me because she didn't want to 'be that kind of person'. Guess what? After 8 years, she got caught cheating.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. A background check is a necessity. Discernment. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future- Sam Vaknin podcast

[@piotrekmajkowski5422]

People do not change easily (for ex obesity). Habits remain long. "New me" - I was born yesterday. Right? PS. Looks like you are protecting women and the man will pay the bills.