Quiet BPD and friendships

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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental disorder characterized by ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days.
Borderline Disorder affects all of your relationships, including friendships!
People pleasing, jealousy, neediness, envy, fears and anxieties stand in your way to healthy friendships and make your life miserable. Seemingly ordinary events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with borderline personality disorder may feel angry and distressed over minor separations-such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans-from people to whom they feel close. Studies show that people with this disorder may see anger in an emotionally neutral face and have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder.
Here I share my story with BPD and friendsips and tell you, how my friendships changes after recovery
Be a nice human!
Love
xx
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instagram: a._fitz
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[@borderlineramblings8999]

"Everyone is better qualified in everything" -- I know the feeling.

[@kelseakelsea5131]

Same

[@boots1622fan]

God, every time I make a friend it's like "I bet they're waiting for me to mess up so they can drag my reputation through the mud." I don't know why I think that. Is it because I devalue other people and think that everyone is like me? Probably.

[@btblessed2201]

As a teen borderline in friendships I often mistook my jealousy for romantic feelings. I always had a best friend who I didn't really want to spend time with anyone else. When they did or when they got a boyfriend/girlfriend I got so jealous that I figured it must've meant I wanted them romantically too. I would obsess over them and secretly imagine our relationship far down the road, even as far as marriage. And when they didn't like me back, as a quiet borderline I felt very rejected and angry and turn that anger inward at myself. I'd basically tell myself I was such a bad person and that's why they couldn't see themselves with me. Truthfully most of them just didn't wanna ruin the friendship bc they cared about me but I couldn't see that. When someone did like me back I lost feelings quick because I was in love with the fanatasies and not the people. Sometimes I'd just settle for someone I didn't like because it was safer than going after who I really liked and getting hurt. And that was shitty and made me feel shallow and hate myself lol. Borderline friendships and love life is difficult but if you find tolerant, kind and patient people and make good efforts to get better, I think everyone can find good friends.

[@babytabby]

we're what's known as "social chameleons". we blend in with whatever crowd we hang with. i cant remember the last time i had a meaningful relationship with another woman. I'm 35 and my best friend is my husband now. things get easier when you're older, i swear. you'll see thru most people's bullshit. xo

[@babytabby]

btw...I'm new to your channel. keep up the good work!

[@AnnaFitz]

Yes, social media plays a crucial role in it. I think, the most important relationship is with yourself anyway :) thank you very much for your comments and all the best t o you

[@btblessed2201]

It's ok. Borderline for me is a weakness because I don't truly fit in anywhere and I feel like this empty chameleon. But at the same time it feels like a super power because in business I can charm anyone, and I can see through bullshit. I'm a human lie detector and I'm starting to accept that as not terrible.

[@claudiatrainumrealtor6229]

I blend in and am liked by most people but cannot have a long lasting meaningful friendships...I have tried. I have only solid acquaintances. My boyfriend and my brother are my best friends. The people who I do not like at the very beginning are the ones who do not like me. I can see right through people. Its difficult to keep female friends.

[@DennisMC1974]

I fell into a long-distance relationship for almost 4 and 1/2 years believing something was real with a woman I was bonded with I was idealized/Mirrored and felt it was love we met in person every year for a week's vacation but out of the blue cold fast immuture break up with stonewalling me acting like I don't exist changing her number and didn't feel any remorse the next day about it which led me here .. I've been struggling the past few months over this shocking break up people should be more upfront with mental disorders instead of wasting somebody's years with just to feed on their emotions with facade no implanted intimacy fear of engulfment but I still care and love her since I'm learning about the stuff

[@mmarimarimari]

having bpd and social anxiety together is a nightmare. i'm constantly jealous of my favourite person and want them to always hang out with me, but as soon as they invite me somewhere i clam up and refuse. so basically, i constantly want invitations to places to show they still care but i will never accept them.

[@AnnaFitz]

sorry to hear that! Sounds like a very difficult combination to find a balance..

[@Helenavanthof]

Oh my God how I relate to this. Back in high school, I had this obsession for one of my teachers. I was SO desperate for his attention. All I wanted was for him to ask me how I was, to show concern about me, and I would look sad on purpose to try and get him to notice me. Well, one day, he stopped me when I wanted to leave the classroom and asked me if I was alright, and told me if I wanted to talk I could always go to him or another teacher. In disbelief, I stumbled something about being fine, and thanks! And I turned around, tears already burning behind my eyes, I walked through the hallway, straight to the bathroom and I sat there for half an hour, just crying. And it’s always like that… Because I put my FP on a pedestal, I view them as more worthy than me. They intimidate me, as much as I feel like I need them, I can’t trust them, and I get all tense and cold around them because I’m scared I’ll mess up. It really fucking sucks.

[@Honeythief212]

I never even suspected myself of having BPD, but after watching these kind of videos where people talk about their stories and experiences, I realised that I could relate to everything... I know I should go to a shrink but I don’t want to either

[@juhakivekas2175]

“More hurtful for me than my friends…” So typical thinking of a BPD/NPD. Check this out again and count the times you say I, me, my, mine. You are not cured!

[@morganlarsen5040]

I feel like you described my childhood lol

[@AnnaFitz]

It just shocks me sometimes how we all think our experiences are so unique yet there are so many people going through the exact same things love xx

[@YuckFou502]

Every type of feeling is normal but x10. That explains how BPD influences your present. The key is that it is wired into your mind from infancy/childhood. A caretaker simultaneously was your security for stretches of time, was absolutely absent and neglectful others, and sometimes they scared the ever loving fuck out of you, and all this before or during the formation of your understanding and adaptation into consciousness as it relates to how you relate to your environment and others in it. Emotional Disregulation is where you get into trouble and start negative patterns over and over again, setting yourself up to relive and retry at surviving the traumas of your past while simultaneously making new ones you'll have to deal with. Good luck to all with BPD And please try to not FP people, the correct term should be BB for burden bearer. It's assigning someone the responsibility of validating you to yourself by projecting your false ideas of what they may think of you into them and having someone to blame/hate, love/need, like what your parents should have been for you. In this situation it simply becomes a paradox, a spiral water slide to perpetual failure because no one can love your inner child the way your parents should have.. no one but you, the adult you. You have to be a parent to yourself just like everyone else, but like I said, x10 If you're not ready for that responsibility, then you won't be ready to help yourself. Please try though, rock bottom is not where anyone should have to start from but I guess the simple fact is that most people do. Again, good luck and God bless! TG for KZbin at least, am I right? lol

[@daviddockrell9705]

Thankyou so much for making this video. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a little over a year ago and I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. Having somebody's personal account of what it's like really helps me understand myself a little better. Lots of love and I hope you continue to go from strength to strength.

[@SevenRavens007]

Good luck !! Youre doing well to show such self awareness...you will get there

[@bellakrinkle9381]

Thank you for your commitment to your followers and yourself. Congrats on your recovery - amazing...hugs!

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you for taking the time to write down something as nice

[@punklisbon]

yes this is literally me! you’re so pretty + im happy for you you’re getting better :-)

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you so much

[@marshallmellow3476]

Thank you so much for talking about this, it really helped me feel less alone in my experiences

[@AnnaFitz]

Happy it made you feel better! lovelove xx

[@Satan666Official]

Your videos have helped me a lot :) you are strong, and your story is so very inspiring! Our perceived imperfections are the parts of ourselves we must love enough to see those things for what they really are, and how they can help us grow to find who we are beyond the empty-feeling shell ❤

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you! And I absolutely agree :)

[@GRobsTravels]

Thank you so much for doing these videos. You're an inspiration for someone who's only just starting to explore their own self destructive mental health issues. xx

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you so much for this

[@M_ark19]

Thank you for posting this, I can relate so much to this!

[@AnnaFitz]

[@AnnaFitz]

Guys! Thank you so much for your positive feedback on this video. I am so happy that it helped some of you. Please watch this video before you ask any questions: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXimY4BsjN11arc love you all so much :) xxx

[@AnnaFitz]

lots of CBT, DBT, reading, self discipline, hard work :) unfortunately no shortcuts

[@TrickyD]

I don't have friends, I only trust my immediate family like my mom, my lil bro & his wife. The less people in my life, the more stable it is. I don't act impulsive, because I always try to do things as consious as possible. I only suffer seriously from BPD when I've fallen in love. Once that happens I notice every miniscule change in my personality; I can't tell that I'm changing because I want to change or that I'm changing because I know the change will make me more attractive to her. So everytime I've fallen for someone and she likes me to, I lose my center and can't help but doubt my motivation constantly. So I kept contact with women to the bare necessity. I only make contact when it is a job-related.

[@yms4355]

She's so smart and pretty!

[@miiywma]

You are so gorgeous~ your eyes are so mesmerizing ♡ I can relate to this so much, and it's quite relieving to have someone else experience the same hard things I go through. keep making more awesome videos ♡

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you so much love!

[@willotoole5900]

I love this video so much. I've only recently figured out that I at least have traits of BPD but I'm not chaotic externally. As a male I just chose to rationalise and internalize all my feelings. I identify with almost everything you've said here though. You did a very good job presenting the important aspects of this condition.

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you very very much! I am glad that it can be of help to someone. lots of love! xxx

[@willotoole5900]

Anna Fitz I can certainly see these videos doing a lot of good. You can reach folks who can't afford or don't have access to a good DBT therapist. Do you have a facebook page?

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you :) No, I don't use facebook, only KZbin and Instagram

[@HappyHauntings]

Thank you for this video! I applaud you for getting help for this disorder. My ex is Bpd and refuses to get help and thinks nothing is wrong with them. Kills me what they did to me. How they hurt me and just didn't care. People who suffer from this dreadful disorder are to be given Respect for being brace enough to say there is a problem I need help and they go and get it.

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you for your kind words! And a huge respect to you for not turning against all people with BPD and saying we're all pure evil despite being hurt by one. Really, thank you! Hope you get well soon and recover from the emotional trauma your ex caused. love xx

[@HappyHauntings]

Thanks . I will be honest it's tough. My ex was my first love at 14. She lost herself after my mom broke us up. My ex became this different person after me. Her parent put her in a mental hospital and she came out worse then when she went in. After I tried getting back with her she hated me. Painted me black and I never heard from her again. This was back in 1987. Well she found me on FB in 2013 and tried to get me to talk about us but I refused. Then in 2015 she told me she still loved me after all those years and I stupidly believed her. She took me on the most hellish emotional roller coaster ride I've ever been on for 2 months. Sept 2015 she told me she never loved me and didn't know why she ever said that to begin with. After that I refused to stay friends with her so she painted me black and has been stalking me since . She told me she was diagnosed as Bipolar but her actions never matched that disorder. Then I researched BPD and she matches 8 of the criteria to be diagnosed with it . I contacted her to let her know what I found out and she denies it and blocked me . I did all I could for her . My heart is broken for she was the love of my life. Sucks

[@AnnaFitz]

Oh gosh. I'm sorry, so genuinely sorry for what you had to go through. I have several friends who got hurt by their partners like that and it breaks my heart to see them suffer. And to hear your story too. I don't think I can say anything that can make you feel better. You are obviously an amazing person and deserve someone who will love you and appreciate the things you do for them. Hope fully when the pain goes away and you recover from this, you will become happy on your own (in my experience it's more important than finding someone who can make you happy) and have a partner who supports and adds to your happiness. I know this will sound egoistic, but I got so much hate today from people who were hurt by borderlines, you are like a sip of fresh air. Thank you.

[@HappyHauntings]

Anna Fitzgerald I respect individuals who know that they have a problem and just not mental illness or personality disorders. Everything. May it be drugs, alcohol, whatever. If a person can be strong enough to say hey I think I have a problem I need help. Then they actually go and get help. Well in my book that person is a brave soul! I don't have patience for individuals who know there is something going on with them and they just don't care and cause chaos and destruction in other people's lives. I wish you all the best in your healthy life ahead! Good luck!!

[@lavenderdemons]

They probably didn’t get help bc there’s a huge stigma against people with personality disorders

[@Crocs4cats]

Omg! You described exactly how I feel almost ever day, specifically in one friendship. I hope soon to start CBT, as a last ditch attempt to get better because it really is a miserable and lonely existence right now. You have given me hope that it is possible even though I have seen a lot of shocking videos and hostile comments on KZbin about people with BPD 💗

[@AnnaFitz]

Dear kitty3309, thank you so much for your lovely message and for your honesty. Your comment warmed my heart, you can't imagine how much

[@Crocs4cats]

Anna Fitzgerald Thank you so much xx

[@B6kmd]

Thanks for sharing your experiences. As someone recently diagnosed with BPD it is great to relate with others. I'm really struggling with self harm at the moment but fortunately I have people to speak to. Much love. 😊

[@AnnaFitz]

much love back at you! 💙 I am glad that you have people who listen to you! It's super important!

[@samk6820]

It sounds like you're able to identify a lot of your feelings.

[@aaqibjavedz2569]

You just described my life!

[@fireinateacup89]

In my case, I actually HAVE legitimately been abandoned and backstabbed. My best friend since eighth grade didn't want to see me for years before she finally admitted she didn't want to be in my life anymore. My sister and I used to be extremely close and spent almost all of our time together growing up because we were homeschooled. We were both abused by our parents and I frequently stood in the way to protect her, but as an adult she dropped contact with me and never had time to have even a five minute conversation... but she still visits and keeps coming n contact with our fucked up parents! As for the rest of my broader social group, they all ditched me when I left conservative Christianity (which they continue to adhere to). One of them turned so nasty that she started telling other friends things about my background that I had only told her. Things that would turn the rest of them against me. She then denied it. I'm the last few years I have lived almost entirely in isolation. I finally made one friend, who just up and ghosted me before she moved away. I had just told her I'm Borderline, and I don't know if she psyched herself out about it and got paranoid about me turning on her or something? But I was always supportive and even encouraged her to do the move even though I naturally didn't want her to go. And I will probably never get closure. So I no longer feel like real friendship exists, or at the very least, that I could distinguish who's going to be an asshole and who is capable of actual kindness and loyalty.

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry this has happened. I see that you feel very hurt right now, but trust me, as you heal and grow in your mental health journey, you will learn to attract and nourish the connections that are true, real, and good for you. I am sending you lots of love and best vibes, stay strong

[@fireinateacup89]

@@AnnaFitz Thanks. I just don't have a clue how to trust anyone so it's hard to foresee any good relationships.

[@matildevernarelli3130]

you're so pretty and I really enjoy this video, congratulations💕

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you!

[@atlacuetzon1429]

I love ur description

[@AnnaFitz]

Thanks ^^

[@suzsiz]

I easily feel hurt and angry in friendships. Feeling people are not there or meeting my needs. I know its because of my neediness. Yesterday I got to know that my ex bf went to IKEA with my female friend. It sent me into an abandonment rage. Me and my ex just broke up and I really needed the support of my friend. Instead she goes to IKEA with my ex. WTF? I feel so betrayed and abandoned, its beyond agonizing.

[@SquiddlyInk]

Your feelings may be justified based on the situation. Try not to identify with feelings though - don’t stuff them down - acknowledge them -sit back and watch them like they’re a tv show and see how they influence your thoughts - vice versa - it’s hard to watch them pass through you without identifying with them at first but it’s far better than ruminating.

[@danielletirpkoff4167]

A big thumbs up to you! Thank you for sharing your video!!👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you

[@danielletirpkoff4167]

Anna Fitzgerald You are welcome, Anna.❤💚💙💜

[@MichelleTorez]

Very brave video and I can relate to it having mental health issues myself. I do mental health support videos every week on my channel if you feel desperate. I'm here. I know the daily struggle. Keep on going and never give up. Peace xx michelle

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you

[@violetvoices7961]

damn I feel this so much...

[@FariaAnzumthequeenbee]

I can relate..thanks for this video

[@AnnaFitz]

[@chinmaychindarkar]

I love your videos, can relate to a lot of things. You go girl :) you are my only friend whom i can relate to.

[@AnnaFitz]

Oh this is so sweet and sad! I am happy to be your friend, but hope you feel better about your other friends

[@chinmaychindarkar]

Thanks soo much! 😬❤️ Its very difficult when you are empty inside and try to copy people when you don't know who you are, didn't know how to put my problems into words until i started watching your videos :') thanks again xoxo

[@josenrebeca]

Thank you for sharing, I understand myself much better thanks to this video I think you are very brave and a beautiful soul :) I guess we are going to be okay Thanks Anna

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you ♥️ wish you al he best on your road of recovery :*

[@Sameoldfitup]

When I was six years old my stepmother left me in a doorway with a note saying not wanted

[@blushfaerie]

you're so pretty by the way!

[@seraphthe13th8]

same ideas, Thanks for the video

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you for your lovely comment :) love xx

[@nolwennp]

You are so beautiful Sending you all my support, girl

[@AnnaFitz]

[@fiona-zn3ln]

why would anyone say ur ugly girl look at u

[@AnnaFitz]

This is so sweet

[@rinoanniebern4098]

I was gonna say the same thing. She's beautiful.

[@khurram7969]

thanks

[@wildermouse]

oh my goodness specifically the "detoxing" part is ME. I actually just talked about this in therapy yesterday (... and yet they still don't think I'm borderline..) about how my best (and kind of only) friend is spending a lot of time with her new boyfriend and their friends and isn't giving me any attention unless I initiate all of the conversations and plans, so I'm taking a break from her and trying not to even have her in my mind so I can focus on doing other stuff because last time I really let it get to me and I SPIRALED like went from so happy to severely depressed, couldn't get out of bed for a week, and absolutely despised myself. this video makes me feel so valid!! thank you!

[@AnnaFitz]

❤️❤️❤️

[@nantiachronidou3799]

There is a lot of misconception about bpd through clinicians. Many of them are unaware of the various types and unless you tell them you self injure they might not bother to wonder if u have it. Also there is a false guideline for clinicians that is outdated and that implies to not tell patients of bpd that they have the disorder. Nowadays many of this data has changed and they found out that it is treatable and actually with correct guidance it is of immediate importance to get a diagnosis and a plan for managing the symptoms. For example your therapist might not know that there is a quiet type. As a psychology student I would advice you to insist on searching about it. Stay strong!

[@mikewilson8600]

I did the same things and still do.

[@scythe7823]

I don’t want to minimize the symptoms and impacts of this disorder by saying I might have it but I experience so much of this :( i don’t think i’ve ever had a long term, stable, and close friendship or relationship with anyone. I’ve always been very suppressive of my personality and emotions around family as well, until recently. And i can go from saying this is the best day ever to “i think i should and will kill myself i dont have anything to live for anymore” in the same day....and this happens alllll month long it’s not a pms thing. It’s like...i’m feeling 100 things at once and some of them are SO unbearably intense that I cant deal with any of the emotions so i try to shut them all down by binging on my phone, or cutting myself, or something else that makes everything suppressed. I’m super unstable with my view of myself too...like one thing might cause me to think “wow i might be a good person after all” and feel really caring towards myself for a couple hours and then a few hours later, something can make me think the exact opposite and feel that i need to punish myself. It’s also super hard to feel...like a real person? I don’t know what my personality is because I’m in a constant state of overreacting to one thing or another? When i sit down and try to sort my thoughts out i feel so detached and that also makes me want to cut myself, because the physical wounds and pain make me feel more like a person. Also, most of my social interactions are online because of social anxiety which has also worsened over time. Online I am most like “myself” whoever that may be, but like...i’m constantly leaving and rejoining friend groups/ chats based on my emotions. And i feel like i just mold myself into whoever fits best around others’ personalities. Ahhhhh it’s so confusing and frustrating.

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you for sharing this. It feels like you have a lot of overwhelming emotions, and I can imagine it is very difficult to manage them. I would suggest you speak with someone professional who can help you manage them. But in the meantime know that you are not alone, that the emotions come and go, that they can not harm you even though it seems overwhelming and consuming in the moment. lots of love xxx

[@scythe7823]

@@AnnaFitz Thank you for reading and responding to my comment! Can’t believe it’s been six months since I posted that. I’ve been getting therapy now so maybe things will change! Thank you!

[@AnnaFitz]

@@scythe7823 yaaay! I am so glad you started therapy. I am sure it will help you A LOT. All the best in your recovery, stay strong :) xx

[@Nicole-mt4hl]

Wow. Thank you for posting this. This was extremely helpful in putting a very personal spin on it. I've recently become interested in someone who has it so I've read a bit about BPD but hearing your explanation is just a lot more powerful so it makes it make even more sense to me. Thank you. I can't imagine how difficult dealing with these emotions has been for you. I, like most people I would say, have felt a lot of these same things you mention and are mentioned in this video, but obviously not to the intensity you feel them. Everyone has their own issues, no one is normal, but I have ADHD and depression so I can really feel for you since there's a lot of stuff that flys around in my head that I know isn't "normal" or really just that most people don't suffer as severely as I do with certain things. I'm hoping that therapy helps you as you sort things out and work on ways to, I dunno, retrain yourself. For me with ADHD I say cope....because certain things aren't emotions there just things i literally can't do so i have steps/routines to work around them. Is there group therapy or like meetings that exist for people BPD? I'm thinking along the lines of how AA meetings help to just be around people who understand you and don't judge you. Maybe even just the isolating factor could be reduced just by having contact with people in a similair situation? Would that be helpful at all?

[@scythe7823]

@@Nicole-mt4hl Thank you for your response! I don’t have a diagnosis of BPD currently so whatever I shared about my mental health experiences may not be helpful in explaining what the person you’re interested in with BPD is going through. I definitely think group therapy amongst several people with BPD could be beneficial but we’ll have to ask people with it and see what they say!

[@ForeverFashionGirl21]

I would try detoxifying too cause I realized I was being needy and think black and white and wow yes did that with my friend in high school. Hugh I hate that I’m this way. I hate BPD.

[@montelo555]

Beautiful. Content and you. Thanks for the video.

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you

[@lls1776]

谢谢你的分享，上帝保佑🙏！

[@nirriti2768]

you eyes OMG you are very, very krasivaya

[@AnnaFitz]

[@Timtamziggy]

Described how I am perfectly, wow

[@labarbara508]

Hi, thank you for this theme, and I wonder how did you manage to speak about it so openly? I always felt shame because of this feelings...

[@AnnaFitz]

Hi and thank you! Well, first of all I don't feel this way anymore which makes it way easier. And secondly, I think everyone has issues and being aware of yours is an advantage :) there's no shame in being different and I share this in hope it will help other people :) I hope this answered your question :) love xxx

[@ariesforever5260]

People are such users better be with no friends.

[@josephfecteau7198]

I have known people with BPD and am trying to learn if I have it as well. I still don't understand exactly what it is after hearing other people explain it. It sounds just like a random collection of general behaviors, and I'm wondering if the disorder is just a collection of problematic behaviours exhibited by all people in varying degrees. If anyone thinks they can offer a thorough explanation of the disorder and it's causes, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate it and can emphasize with most of it.

[@AnnaFitz]

Hey Joseph, I can understand how understanding BPD can be confusing. I think not all the doctors really have an idea of what it is exactly, since there are so many variations of it. I am not a specialist, but I've read so much about it and experienced it first-hand, so I can probably explain how I see it. As with any mental health issue, there are many levels of severity and some people can present several BPD symptoms without being diagnosed. I see it as a combination of hyperactive fear centers in the brain plus underactive centers of emotional regulation. Hence the uncontrollable emotional outbursts, fear of abandonment, anxiety, etc. The reasons for it to occur can be both biological and traumatic upbringing, but I think it's a combination of both. Most of the people with BPD have been abused or neglected throughout their childhoods, but not everyone who was neglected or abused develops BPD. So there should be certain predisposition factors there. Hope it helped somehow! Love xx

[@nataliemarkham6182]

Thanks for sharing. How did you begin your road to recovery? What work did you put in, and did the healing eventually gain momentum?

[@AnnaFitz]

Hi! I believe this video will answer most of your questions, you can watch it if you want :) kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXimY4BsjN11arc Shortly, lots of self reflection, commitment to therapy and hard hard work. I would say there was definitely a momentum gain. What I found helpful in the beginning is tracking progress, because it can seem like you are moving too slow or not at all, but when you look a couple months back and see how far you've gone since then, it keeps you motivated not to give up :) xxxx

[@Nordspets]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@katerinal1710]

Anna thank you so much! Many things resonated with me as my phychatrist told me just yesterday that I have some traits of bpd (and from the internet I found that the quiet type is more close to me). How did you get better? I am seeing a therapist but right now I am in the middle of a depressive episode with so much anxiety going on that even the mention of bpd was enough to make me feel even more helpless... I love the message of hope in the end and I am surely a new subscriber 🌞

[@AnnaFitz]

Hi Katerina! TO be honest, it was so long ago that I don't remember all too well how exactly I got out of it. It for sure wasn't overnight, I would say I put in a lot of hard work and research on the subject. And of course a lot of therapy :) I am sorry you are feeling depressed and anxious right now, but remember to be kind to yourself and accept the process and the stage you are at right now - it is fundamental for a speedy recovery. That being said, I am sure you will get better, just give yourself the time and space, don' t be too hard on yourself for setbacks (they are inevitable) and know I'm always here to support you at least morally :) lots of love! xxx

[@mathematicromancio]

I have a question for BPDs, My ex recently broke up with me in the most awful way...then back to "I love you more than ever" few days later...then again "We have to break up" and the devaluation talk for good after a negative influence from her dad...that hurted me and caused me a lot of pain and troubles with my health, family, job...I'm pretty sure that I have PTSD now. The question is : Can a BPD switch back to "idealization"? Are they able to forgive? It seems that forgiveness is absent for a BPD. I still want my ex back because everything was fine for 12 years, and I guess it lasted that long because I have that psychology intelligence to avoid what triggers her (what trigger people in general)...when I say something too fast (woopsy words) then I can predict what she's gonna think or say. Now, I'm sure she is a quiet BPD (too late as I just found out about borderlines like almost every ex BPD "survivor" after a WTF break up). She fits every symptom and everything suddenly makes sense to me about her behaviour (and mine). You remind me of her too as well...so please let me know if there's any chance to get back together...and how for dumped ex to reassure and gain her trust back. I tried to move on but man...I can't give up on her. Reason why she dumped me : I haven't kept my promises during last year due to procrastination.

[@AnnaFitz]

Sorry about your break up! Answering your question: I don't see how BPD can prevent a [person to forgive someone. I think it depends on a person. Unfortunately that's all I can say :) And maybe you want to address your own issues concerning this relationship... It doesn't seem like you are in a good place right now. Hope you can feel better about all this :)

[@hello7646]

hi, i suffer from quiet bpd caused by a really bad childhood. ait will help me a lot if you can tell hoe to recover or overcome this. thank you so much

[@AnnaFitz]

hi! sorry to hear that. I really am. Unfortunately there's not one thing that I could tell you to mke it better. Seeing a therapist who can choose the right medication and treatment is the first step, but also believing that you can overcome this is crucial. Hope you feel better very soon. Sending you lots of love and light

[@hello7646]

Thank you, i appreciate it.

[@rustbeltvan-life1932]

❤❤

[@eriosyce688]

You got over bpd! How did you do that??

[@abby4439]

this is very familiar with me and i have been debating on if i really believe that i have bpd. how can i talk to my therapist about it?

[@AnnaFitz]

Just ask them if they think you meet the criteria :) btw it's awesome that you have a therapist. All the best!

[@cruelcore1]

I dunno if I've had and still have BPD, or if my perception is distorted by SSRI antidepressant withdrawal symptoms.

[@AnnaFitz]

Core-Station Ulduris I am going through the withdrawal stage myself now, so I feel you

[@cruelcore1]

Anna Fitzgerald Lol. It lasts long, but week 2 is the most painful and confusing one. I didnt go cold turkey so I have the honor of experiencing it for the 2nd time.

[@Megan98]

This is unrelated sorry but you totally remind me of 'rawsammi' on youtube !

[@AnnaFitz]

haha this is so weird, you are not the person to say this! But thanks I guess :D I find her really pretty :) xx

[@woolfy02]

I wonder why you don't see much BPD in men. Strange.

[@user-vt3bf7qf4v]

you’re so cute😊😊

[@AnnaFitz]

aaawww thank you

[@joeyh9619]

Vasco Siempre x

[@AnnaFitz]

💯🙌🙌🙌

[@blushfaerie]

is bpd induced from some kind of trauma or psychological abuse during childhood /:? I feel like I have this but my parents didn't pay attention to me enough to get me tested or anything and I don't tell my doctors any of my symptoms..

[@AnnaFitz]

Well, BPD stems from a lot of different reasons, one of them indeed being rough and traumatic childhood - abusive or abandoned, as well as genetic reasons. I am sorry to hear you are having trouble. Please be honest with your doctors, I know it can be hard but they can really help you. I hope you feel better very soon! love xx

[@revolutionishere]

I believe it's mostly a disorder that is caused by an injury. People need to realize that an injury is anything that affects you in a harmful way. An injury can be both physical and emotional, although emotional wounds are more damaging than physical wounds in the BPDs case as it causes them to create systems/programs that self manipulate/self sabatoge so that they don't have to experience the associative feelings they had with that original injury that virtually fuels their entire being and beliefs about love. In this madness they manifest negative life experiences, attract bad partners that will use them for their needy spirit, and really live by the philosophy that it will all come crashing down and "I need to end it before it all goes bad" mentality. That's why at times BPD individuals can be unkind, cold and sometimes manipulative with people. The hurt inner child has taken over their entire being and live as hurt children in adult bodies. It's a very sad disorder because it doesn't have to be, the stigma of it doesn't help either. The BPD person must be brave and heal the experience that caused them to develop interpersonal habits and cycles or they will be doomed to repeat their mistakes. We all operate from an inner identity that unconsciously determines our destiny. The parts of us we can't see plays an integral role in our experience of life. The BPD has put their inner child in the driver's seat, expecting them to know how to drive, but a child lacks the skills to know how to drive. The end result will surely end in destruction. The same applies to people who have experienced trauma and have made the choice to operate from a source that simply does not know how to do the things it is supposed to do. That's why we must go back, be the source of love we always needed for ourselves and move on.

[@AnnaFitz]

Amen and thank you for such insightful and well-worded passage! I absolutely agree :) love xx

[@missbcritiques9209]

Life Tips & Conscious Reasonings beautifully written...

[@eh4235]

I am confused. I struggled with similar relationship problems but therapists tell me I have ptsd. Whatever it is, I feel better with cbt and working on myself. I am to a point where I agree everyone has the right to their own life and opinion and is not about me. I want positive experiences and I don't seem aproval from plp who don't deserve me to begin with.

[@francescaparenti3803]

by recovered do you mean you are better at controlling the symptoms? because you can't really "get over" a personality disorder. Just curious.

[@AnnaFitz]

Francesca Parenti hi dear, Of course I mean controlling the symptoms. As well as not being depressed for the first time in 15 years, not having panic attacks, knowing where certain reactions are coming from and having control over them and over my life in general, reaping the advantages of bpd, and the ability to live a happy life almost unaffected by the disorder :) Love xx

[@francescaparenti3803]

awesome!! good for you.

[@AnnaFitz]

Thank you

[@jessxxy]

Well said' thats what i thought! Hows your life 1 year later... still here?

[@fraiser3330]

Try cognitive behavioural therapy! This saved me!!! (Not DBT) Good luck you! 🇨🇦🙏😀

[@AnnaFitz]

i did cbt and it cured me ;) so i completely agree! lovelove xx

[@phunkee9095]

when you meet all 9 criteria 💀💀💀

[@AnnaFitz]

😱

[@phunkee9095]

@trihardous maximus 😣 yeah... It sucks.... Really.

[@layne1994]

Nirvana tee?

[@AnnaFitz]

yes ;)

[@layne1994]

Great band to relate to. I suffer bbd and growing up was hard i listened to nirvana to help channel my frustrations. Still a hige fan today!

[@ekosovic]

fuck lmao this is so hard to watch bc its so me

[@AnnaFitz]

[@MacetazzOpina]

do you want to be my girlfriedn

[@AnnaFitz]

this is so sweet my heart melted a little ^^

[@MacetazzOpina]

I am a quiet BPD too, thanks for doing this video

[@Chris-0113]

You remind me alot of my ex.

[@atlacuetzon1429]

Lol try to act normal is familiar

[@AnnaFitz]

:D

[@jackymarbach4693]

Like like like like like...

[@anthonyhooyer5225]

Jacky Marbach hahaha you learn leangauge for something there is no words.... Like... Fuck off