Quiet | Susan Cain | Talks at Google

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh's sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie's birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

[@JordanArseno]

close your eyes and her voice is Phoebe from Friends.

[@anusinov]

Yes!!

[@hayleymadison6161]

I can't unhear it

[@julietardos5044]

OMG You're right!

[@jaynem1067]

Geez noooo, I can't believe you compared her to an actress whose primary role in Friends was a totally dumb character.

[@djainagomes1525]

OMG!! yeah!! I'm surprised

[@elbeers50]

She is hero of all introverts

[@ninjanerdstudent6937]

Susan Cain is a remarkable woman.

[@jamesmusante6222]

you know me so well Susan... I cried a little when I watched this. someone understands what is going on. FINALLY!!!

[@afroman4035]

Yeah it’s amazing I had to buy the book because it seems it’s all about me

[@rhapsodyinbleu]

I totally understand what she means about an introverts idea of happiness when she says it's something quieter. I think for a lot of us, it's learning & educating ourselves. I love discovering a new interest on my own, whether it's a new hobby, an author, or genre of music, etc rather than going out dancing or partying like an extroverts idea of fun or happiness. It's the little things we keep to ourselves that make us happy.

[@zarlabancat]

what an amazing woman. i'm watching this video for a class and i really relate to what she's saying. i don't feel so alone anymore.

[@conniechristenson7905]

The stimulaton goes further than noise. For myself clutter is too stimulating also. So glad for this revolution.

[@freeman8759]

So true, that explains alot.

[@MsVie2012]

i'd also add temperature and smell. all the senses. I'm beginning to equate being an introvert wurh being HSP (highly sensitive person)

[@lifegrip6477]

I'm the same with clutter. Interesting, as just tidying up, making more space, feels better.

[@MasterChief0093]

This is fantastic info. I'm having relationship problems because I'm an extrovert and she's an introvert. I didn't understand introverts until a recent conflict. It was almost as if we were speaking two different languages... and even with that, she'd avoid talking in person like the plague. It was on a vacation where we were constantly doing things and she needed to recharge. I didn't truly understand it at the time even though i told her i did. I really did take the silence as a betrayal or possibly felt like she had given up on us. Or that she was not interested. But if that never happened I would never have looked into personalities. My new knowledge has helped me notice my friends who are introverts that get dragged along to everything and talk with them better. It's changing so much for me. I wish more people knew this info.

[@bookfan1239]

MasterChief0093 The more you know. 😄 -cue the rainbows-

[@naturefreak799]

Money and fame in our society are becoming synonymous with extroversion. Being introverted, a thinker, or even a private individual is looked down by many. We are now expected in our culture to always be 'on", to be ready and able to be a social butterfly on the drop of a dime. This point in my life I would rather be broke living by myself (or a compatable significant other) in a cabin in the woods and being true to me. A life without introspection and private moments is not worth having.

[@ReaLityBlue]

nature freak So true.

[@ohnree4110]

beautifully said, I see the society I'm heading into (I'm 19) and I don't wanna participate. If you don't want to play, you shouldn't have to play, RIGHT???? No! You gotta jump through these fucking hoops just to be happy! Fuck that. Happiness is my foundation. I'd rather create alone than consume together.

[@terelmj]

I am loving this. In my everyday life I keep getting the message that I have to be more talkative, that I have to interact more, "have fun" (in the way an extrovert would define it) ... it is refreshing to hear somebody so succesful who did not have to change who she is in her core

[@winterpoetry]

I found this immensely helpful! I'm an ambivert ENFP. I find my extroversion a hindrance and an embarrassment...to rely on a stimulant outside of myself feels disempowering. Looking to the outer world for validation can become an illness. Introverts don't need other people to have fun...they create whole worlds all in their minds. Introverts take very little from the world, but what they add speaks volumes.

[@nesha50421]

Susan's voice is sooo soothing!!!!!! And I'm a proud Introvert woman!! ;))

[@zendavis3501]

nesha50421 I would make love to you.

[@lukasdi3623]

22:10 "we need to stop treating them (introverts) like something is wrong with them“ maybe exactly this is one part of the reason why they become great writers & thinkers ....

[@karinasouza3792]

Listening to her is like listening to Phoebe from Friends!!! Lol... The same voice... How cool is that? :)

[@GrahamHillis]

Great talk, many won't get the crux of the message. If I could have been there, i would have offered Susan a wide window and a nice silent coffee over the best view that was possible on the day. Introverts like us are so under-rated.

[@drfresh2000]

Exactly, Seclusion gives you piece of mind.

[@TheAngelofvengance]

wow i got chills when she said to get into groups i would be horrified

[@dionysuspersona4039]

silentsoul me every time in my honors class :')

[@afroman4035]

You’re introvert then as me

[@lotedo1633]

Introverts shouldn't be undervalued anymore in this society!

[@foxiefair123]

Lol, I almost don’t care if they value me or not if they would just be quiet and leave me alone.😂

[@jkjkjkish]

wow she's beautiful! thanks for speaking up for us introverts susan! :)

[@naturefreak799]

For many, success is not about happiness. Success is for making ones parents happy, for being a "good American", for attracting high status mates, and many other reasons. Being succesful for ones own inner happiness and well being is far to uncommon.

[@kuebrastic1219]

I WISHED SHE HAD A KZbin CHANNEL :(

[@MylesAlfama]

I listened to this while i am in college right now and I love the amazing words she uses and shes an amazing lady I've never met her or heard of her! :)

[@Jarrodmontelius]

We all want to be happy. That can be very different from success. Often success means endless work...

[@kockgunner]

Even I got a feeling of dread when she said to split up into groups of 6

[@MommytardRocks1]

her voice is so musically soothing.

[@ShunyamNiketana]

I always enjoy and appreciate Susan. I loved the book. But I have some trouble with the notion that introverts use their alone time to "think" while extroverts use their social interacting to feel stimulated. Time spent in the cave is not necessarily "thinking" time. It may be creative; it may be spent learning (not cogitating); and it may be full of focus on something meaningful--but again, not to mull over things or solve a problem. I'm not saying that Susan describes introverts as primarily thinkers, but it does seem to be a tag assigned to them by others in the field.

[@martyvero1]

Isaac Newton: Truth is the offspring of silence and unbroken meditation

[@denisesumtercommunity]

Wow, what an eye-opener.

[@soccermadness23]

I find this woman very attractive!

[@howardkoor2796]

Susan is a wonderful speaker. Love her ideas.

[@rickeshpatel4025]

I'm so glad to hear this. I'm also mixed dominance and most of my life in the US they tried to make me do everything differently down to how I think and even trying to make me become right handed. I am more of a ambivert leaning towards introvert. I've spent the last few years truly figuring myself out and looking back I realize how stifled I was growing up, especially being from a typical Indian household where there was a very strict structure.

[@cameliamelillo1930]

She is so amazing! I love what she said at the end about ephemeral beauty!

[@akaboo69]

I'm ISFP and I'm told I'm creative. But yeah I'm very Fi and Se. I love music and being in a band.

[@heartofplaydoh7647]

I am not in the room and My heart started beating real fast when she told the room they needed to share. As an introvert we don’t like these sort of surprises, hehe.

[@lotedo1633]

Amazing speech! Got to know more interesting information about introverts and extroverts likewise.

[@beldonhuang]

What an incredible and interesting talk this is! It's always amazing to listen to talks that talk about your personality that is otherwise not really discussed widely by other speakers. Her TED Talk is quite good as well~

[@hqu00]

wow, "introversion and extroversion are...as core to our identities as our gender. therefore it's v important to understand where we truly fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.'

[@MrPedrojose1967]

I am 52 y/o and this is the first time in my life I am thinking about introvert and extrovert. I was shy and insecure all my life except my 20's after the acomplish of my succeed military carear. Now, I am back to my coccon waiting for my second change of happiness. Thanks.

[@blaq7427]

Actually one on one convo would be something an introvert would be better at . An extrovert would be better in a group setting.

[@TheNaturalistaFiles]

This was simply brilliant! Makes sense for me.

[@Hym138]

I love how I got an introvert and non-introvert dog.

[@Optimus6128]

I never thought about this till you mentioned it. I could say that Phoebe the character in Friends (I don't know about the real Lisa Kudrow) is quite similar in terms that she seems to be an INFP personality type and that's what I could guess about Susan too. But anyway, I love what this woman is doing and yes she could be the real Phoebe in action (my favorite character in Friends btw). I am really happy about these talks and her book and the understanding that hopefully it will spark.

[@keenday2382]

That's why i Love children they are so pure they don't see flaws everything looks beautiful in their eyes.. I met a 5 year old today that was 20 everytime I meet her I'm amazed at how smart she is.. each child I talk too I see their brilliance... I feel so grateful they feel comfortable around me catching them today funky dancing in front of me for me to catch them and just Crack a smile at their joy. I am a true Introvert i need quiet contiplation.. I can also be an extrovert.. I am a joyful bubbly and let's live it.. I don't see the warning.. lol 😆 🤣 lol 😂 then I crash.. lol boom right into it. That's me I'm both.. it's necessary to me both sides. Susan i love the way you think your very smart and I like when someone can bring me to deep thinking and different things to think about.. never thought about what the key is to my power? Secret garden to inner riches! Brilliant... mine is ideas 💡 🙂 😌 😐 integrity honesty being real.. i do know this.. I have a lot of different skills I'm not always using. Lovely talk thank you.. 😊

[@premkumarpmourya8823]

very good speech by Susan Cain. great talk.

[@Victor-it6bv]

Introverts know more about why extrovert act like extrovert then extroverts do.

[@rhapsodyinbleu]

Our idea of happiness also comes from within, like engaging in our interests in our choice of environments. I know I'm happiest painting or taking photographs and I can do this without any company and it's just great. Anything artistic & expressive makes us happy and we do it for ourselves, not really to show off to anyone.

[@blutsx]

great speaker

[@md2v4]

I think these states of being are not consistent or static for the rest of our lives, we change and adapt as we grow, as a kid i was an extravert but as a youth now am more of an introvert. Circumstances in life courses us to change our nature. And yes she is very attractive.

[@gobindatandi83]

Thank you very much to have kind of which inspired very much.................

[@s70rk]

Thanks for posting this! :)

[@Paseosinperro]

OMG, You are describing my mind perfectly.

[@sleepingwizard09]

I'm an introvert and my grades are low because I don't participate in class discussions. :(

[@alexandravanderbeek3765]

I've have seen many talks... didnt find yet, one that really celebrates each kind of personality, always seems (sometimes very subtle) that is about "which one is better" than the other one. And i can understand talking about people like jobs, spielberg, etc to show the power of introverts, but they were all extreme intelligent, if you are extreme intelligent, extreme creative, have natural talents for well, there is a more chances to succeed even when you are introvert, but what about people who are just average.

[@danumodjo]

I'm a introvert. and it's hard

[@silentgrove7670]

I'm an extrovert and it's hard.

[@shawnleesg]

You should read her book. It's really good!

[@chrisw7470]

I just ran across this author/speaker, and as an introvert her material makes alot of sense to me. One question fellow introverts, listening to her voice were you thinking who does she sound like, and even look like the brunette version of? Lisa Kudrow? lol. I mean, her voice inflection, mannerisms etc, to me, seem very much like Lisa's.

[@dangreen6775]

Great talk and questions. Regarding the last question about how an introverted leader might understandably feel that 'interruption is breaking a sacred trust' (@42:45), I would suggest looking into establishing a team culture that embraces and understands Dialogue Mapping. It may help?

[@albertnewton8608]

Thank you for saving my life ^_^

[@kdlyla]

When I was a child people used to mark on their calenders when I would speak. My parents had a hard time assigning me to a punishment because I always found something to do as I was most happy being alone. I never enjoyed playing follow the leader and I hate trends. I prefer self study as opposed to college rule, however, when I'm finished preparing, I have the power to blow a class away as demonstrated to me in a speech 101 class while verbally composing a speech on bats.

[@allenculbertson8170]

God bless U and thank you Susan 😇

[@sleepingwizard09]

I love this woman.

[@briansmitj2080]

I always thought I was shy but know I know I am an introvert and I realize all this time I am an introvert I thought I was different from everyone else but I love being alone it helps me to think.

[@briansmitj2080]

I'm not afraid to be alone. I just like to know what's going on around me

[@briansmitj2080]

I also love my close friends. I keep a close amount of friends in my circle

[@briansmitj2080]

But I think I am also an introvert in some way.

[@Jarrodmontelius]

As they say; you took the words from my mouth.

[@IIArchonII]

This was an amazing and insightful talk. I hate to point this out because it seems shallow... But she makes a smacking sound between some sentences.

[@Jemsters1]

At least you've discovered this so early (and yes, I say early) - I'm an introvert in my early 40s!

[@jkes88]

interesting point of view

[@LouielamsonTranNguyen]

Introverts - Extrovert! I had difficult to understand, which one I am belonging? I am enjoyed great an lectures... Thanks for sharing video.

[@greenmanhulk]

All the introverts of the world like her.

[@ekimonid]

that was awesome

[@akaboo69]

I was super silent in school

[@berbudy]

Susan Cain is my personal Hero

[@elisepentz1063]

These comments will need to be read later because I'll miss the whole talk because I'm interested in them

[@BRM101]

The world would be a much better place if it was more introverted instead of the extroverted mess we have now

[@MrTookieMonster]

I love you, Susan Cain.

[@MexicanThreads]

Who else wants to erase that red mark on the screen behind her?

[@akuajwad]

perfectionist would love to

[@NaaaaProductions]

LOL, too much stimulation when trying to listen. hehe

[@rdelrosso2001]

Johnny Carson was famous for having a TV show that reached millions of people, but in front of a few people, he was very shy and introverted.

[@lewisbonnell2509]

I am an introvert and looking to get Susan's book to learn more about this trait

[@UndisclosedID655]

I'd say this applies only to rural areas in Finland.

[@BelgianGurista]

Another example of leadership by introverts is Herman Van Rompuy - who?! The European President at this time. He words it as: "Everyone has different facettes of personality. I don't know if I know myself completely. The I remains the biggest mystery. We look at ourselves as it's a stranger (Q Rimbaud & Nietzsche)"

[@pollolor15]

I'm late but can someone give some more advice about the last question?When i'm in a group of people and i'm trying to talk, often there's someone that interrupts me at the middle of my sentence, and i've tried the trick of rising my hand to make people know that i'm trying to talk but i'm always ignored.

[@alancastillo7932]

I get you, it happens to me a lot too. I haven't really found a way besides trying to up the volume of my voice which I really hate to do.

[@kishorekumar-eo4hf]

Hi it was a nice lecture which has opened my mind because I am like sort of introvert person I really phasing lots of difficulties I couldn’t push myself so fast to solve my problems because I’ve been born and raised in a village where I had very less chance to showcase my ideas. And something inhibiting me to go and mingle with the strangers please give me an idea or just me if possible to bring out my power and my thoughts thank you 🙏 I am from india

[@cryptoguy4589]

25.20 I have that head shaking when I'm thinking of 100 things and conversing on a subject.

[@tachi203]

hahahaah After 43:00 minutes the final question...that all the introverts are still wanting to know...cannot be answered......"How to shut the extrovert's up and let the introvert with the brains speak", without the the extrovert feeling it is a complete attack on thier inner being, thus the introvert cannot be bothered. :)

[@tinthamster]

I'm in love with Susan Cain 3

[@natalierobbins4064]

So what happened in the brain of a person who prefer an environment that have lower stimulant and higher stimulant aka what happened in an ambivert's brain?

[@simpbeforeusleep]

I changed my mind, I jumped to an extroverted conclusion to early :P

[@jeffrly1]

Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay - Friends

[@WhirledPublishing]

@3 minutes: I felt so excited about my private, personal and profound experience from childhood that illustrates who I really am that I was going to post it here - but since it's not really what this is about, I'll withhold that.

[@SudipKrMaiti_IITGuwahati]

Introverts r so attractive! Just look at Susan Cain;♥️

[@DrequimaX]

I am depelted..... I need to go home.

[@dddave999]

Interesting talk from an attractive lady. If I close my eyes I could be listening to Lisa Kudrow (blond one from friends). I am waiting for a verse of ‘Smelly Cat’

[@chococandy8009]

Yes Susan ma'am is right that we should accept our powers but on the other side we also know that change is important for our life. So what if we apply this change concept here in introvertness and extrovertness. Feel free to give your reviews :)

[@yryu2]

This woman is smart and beautiful. That is a rare thing in this world.

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

I wouldn’t say it’s as rare as the myth suggests but that’s definitely true in her case.

[@vademarofxeroes8416]

Wished I have a friend at highschool like her.

[@nrrork]

14:12 There was one I couldn't spot right away, so I crossed my eyes to make the images overlap as though I were looking at a magic eye picture, and the spots where there was a difference appeared to flicker. Let's see an extrovert think to do THAT!

[@user-uk5jw7oy2g]

Her voice, gestures, and movements are like Lisa Kudrow.

[@liyana2810]

There must be many different level/spectrum of introversion too. That's why some introverts are shy, some are not. Oh, temperament and MBTI.

[@commentsection1234]

At 10:00 I can se introverts blushing 😆

[@peterlux4317]

A list of the studies that she refers to would be useful

[@micjakes1]

Oh I fucking hate breaking up into groups.