Quit My Job For One With Longer Hours, Less Pay. Husband Is Furious But I Don't Want To Quit r/AITA

[@MarkNarrations]

Hello my lovely people, I hope you have a wonderful start to your week

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

It's going good so far still early lol

[@FriedaMMartin]

Hello! I hope you are doing good

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Thank you! Good Morning here in Las Vegas. It is 17C right now and I have to get off my lazy butt to wrap the greenhouse in plastic in prep for the freeze coming this weekend. How are you doing these days?

[@Mewse1203]

You too, my friend. Stay safe

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

First Story: OP is TA because she is not discussing WHAT she's doing. Sounds like an MLM to me. Or at the very least that her sister i s exploiting her as slave labor. This doesn't sound like the husband is trying to financially abuse her. I think he is just too tired with her and him being "roomies" and he's financing OP's lifestyle. OP really needs to stop thinking about her emotional fulfillment and take a look on how she's taking advantage of her husband and his money.

[@MarkNarrations]

Oh no not the dreaded MLM! It's like the worst possible outcome out of all of this I think.

[@alexvalentine5091]

It really does sound like one. Even the whole “my husband isn’t supporting my dream. I’m doing this for US” sounds like the hunbot mentality they carry

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

@@MarkNarrations Yeah, especially when she says she's learning "new things" yet can't expound on them. MLM's teach their peeps how to be vague and noncommittal. I've been to my fair share of MLM sales pitches and I noticed the one thing they do is talk about all the rewards you can get without telling you how the whole system works. Oh and you always have to put some money down and they always use the saying, "It takes money to make money". Fuckers always take advantage of the poor and desperate.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

@@alexvalentine5091 - Yeppers, I think OP was expecting more peeps to be interested in her "fun job" and want to know more about how she can have a job that teaches her new thingies every single day. When she saw all the TA replies, I think she just dipped because hunbots can't handle the truth.

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@cjandauntieyaya1446 the truth? They can’t even handle fair criticism without insulting your entire bloodline

[@deedeeschway9566]

Story 3 - he “had” an opiate addiction before. He’s “accident prone” and “can’t deal with the slightest amount of discomfort”… ….aka he’s still an addict and becomes an asshole when the pain meds aren’t working because he’s abused them enough to grow a tolerance.

[@ajarfullofjoy]

I was definetly thought that before the comments and then the op comments def confirmed.

[@carterpitbull7366]

Accident prone sounds like he intentionally hurts himself to try to get drugs tbh. Addicts will do anything for drugs.

[@LadyWolvie82]

The spouse in S3 can kick rocks. He needs to be in rehab.

[@roelthas]

This was an "end the relationship" special. 😆

[@thedestroyasystem]

perfect way to put it

[@j_hi]

Aren't they always 😭

[@Russman67]

Story 2: The savings account was available for EMERGENCIES. Your sister's credit card being declined for a wedding dress does not constitute an emergency. Your sister having to wait two days to get her card to work is not an emergency. Your sister stiffen you on the money that you "loaned" her is not an emergency. YTA. Pay the savings account back and take that as a hard lesson.

[@delmaplain6823]

Paying for your sister's wedding dress is not an emergency, and your sister will not pay you back! If you come out of this with your name off the account as only result, you will be luckier than you deserve!YTA!

[@ohnooffwego]

While I totally agree that OP is TA, I have to wonder why his wife gets her own account that she controls while they are supposed to have joint finances. Is OP allowed to put money aside for himself? Just struck me as odd.

[@richardlee653]

Most things are possible, although some (such as the sister repaying the money) are EXTREMELY unlikely.

[@shells500tutubo]

@@ohnooffwego She gets it because HER GRANDFATHER GAVE IT TO HER! Basically inheritance money. And now we see why it is separate, and she will soon see why EVERYTHING should be separate.

[@josspa6558]

Story 3: pain meds can have effect on the situation but the "you made me do it" was way too bad to go on whit that kind of relationship.. same thin the abusive partners says after they broke your nose etc..

[@kingofichigo]

Yeah, that is a HUGE red flag

[@veezopolis]

Love how the husband on story 3 says he is afraid of her reactions now. But when he was mildly irritated he threw away legal documents to hurt you.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

Story 1: on top of everything Mark said, she also sounds like she dumped it all on him without discussion or without telling him the pay and hours. also, imo it's not unreasonable to cancel something for work like once or twice but it is unreasonable for you to often do it. and it doesn't sound like they're living comfortably off of hubby's check from hubby's POV

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

Something tells me 'We didnt change our lifestyle much' should be 'I didn't change my lifestyle much' and she kept large retail therapy spending with her husbands money who probably trys to save the money instead. Plus usually in situations like this she will be growing her siblings company and future financial prospects and I doubt she is smart enough/ reasonable enough to ask for a stake in the company she's spending all her time growing while potentially neglecting her husband and children.

[@FrancisR420]

@@randomaccount-dq1jq she has children! If that's the case I've gone from her being inconsiderate in their marriage partnership to completely f****** him over.

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

@@FrancisR420 When the line said 'he said my job was an absolute crap deal for our family' I take that to mean they have kids so im not 100% but I wouldn't be surprised. It's all well and great finding a job you enjoy doing but when that job does not give you expectations of a comfortable living in the short term should anything unfortunately happen to her husband or help her have a early and comfortable retirement it's not worth anything more than a CV building employment.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: YTA She said their lifestyle hasn't changed, but she's wrong. he isn't staying away from OP. OP is staying away from him. He is trying to talk to her and she won't even hear him out. She's working more hours for less money and not giving any time to her family. Passion is one thing. Work-life balance is a whole other.

[@KatrinLittleDevil]

Story 3 -- the husband sounds exactly like my dad, the whole shabang with "you made me do it" and "you have no regaaaaaard for me" when asked for something small that doesn't bother him. My old man once smashed the remote on the floor because I failed to give it to him in under 2 seconds. So -- NTA, and OP should run for the hill because this will get worse and will traumatize her.

[@kingofichigo]

Yeah, the "you made me do this" stuck out to me the most. I'd end a relationship immediately if my so said that

[@robertbishop5158]

I agree with everything in the post EXCEPT she didn't go find him and Made him walk home WTF is that

[@anonmouse15]

She chose to marry a mental five year old, so... EDIT: Not to mention a possible junkie.

[@tamsel814]

Story 1: I hope op at least got some company shares. Cause she may not have a husband anymore in the future

[@MarkNarrations]

Tis a bit worrying isn't it. You'd think the amount of work it sounds like is being put into it there would at least be shares involved.

[@carolroberts4614]

Her sister is using her for cheap labour isn't she?

[@immortalsofar5314]

I'm looking for a job in hell - front line, gunfire, refugees, starving people. How to get a work-life balance? Stay single for a while - it's the only way to be sure.

[@tgbedini]

That one line, "he's usually gone to bed when I get home?" Yeah, so he's supporting her, he doesn't get to see her most evenings, and she cancels plans. And in return, he gets attitude if he complains. And his comment that her sister is using her may be dead on. And no matter how optimistic they are, start-ups fail, a lot. She's selfish, short sighted, and dismissive of her husband's concerns. If the genders were reversed, it wouldn't even be a YTA, it'd be "holy, crap, you're a jerk."

[@FrancisR420]

@@tgbedini but I didn't want to say it but the whole genderswap thing is also the first thing that came to mind Marriage is a partnership, if they were dating imposing on their work would be weird and controlling but merging finances includes work to an extent

[@natasjaaitchison4409]

Abusers often use the ‘you made me do this’ line the injured husband isn’t necessarily an abuser but he’s the one with anger issues not the wife

[@mpmansell]

Story 1: YTA. OP's husband has every right to be annoyed at being relegated to an undervalued income source. OP's comment about it not affecting them is ridiculous. less money in means less money available. Plus, the extra stress on her husband as the only supporter of the family while he's being unsupported, and disregarded. She made the choice to effectively become the equivalent of a SAHW who isn't even staying at home. What is he getting out of the relationship other than stress, hurt and reduced savings for future and ability to enjoy the fruits of his work? If she is not careful, he will very legitimately leave her to support herself on her income. If I were him, I'd already be talking to a lawyer to try and avoid establishing him supporting her while she chooses not to.

[@Cam-jl6yo]

What does sahw stand for? Could someone tell me please

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@Cam-jl6yo It means Stay at home wife. I'm pretty sure that's what it means.

[@Cam-jl6yo]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly thank youu

[@fandomfan2800]

NTA

[@LadyWolvie82]

There's too much information missing for me to make a judgement... 1. We don't know if the changes are going to be short term, or long term. If it's short term, the spouse jumped the gun and in a very bad way just like the comments, because things do change over time. Businesses don't get successful overnight and thinking otherwise on that is a very unrealistic expectation, which is exposing his impatience. If it's long term, then he has a valid point. 2. Another unknown is if OP and the spouse has had the work/life balance issue before in their relationship. If there hasn't been an issue here before, then there's a much bigger problem here, and it's not all on OP. If there is, then OP needs to make some serious changes to her own life despite OP following her passions in life. 3. The third unknown is the spouse's stance on things in his life changing. If he is wanting things to stay the same to the letter, then part of the issue here is really on him because he refuses to allow things in his life to change in certain ways. People WILL change over time, and in just about every way. Why do people tend to change their careers a few times over their lifetime on average? 4. Fourth unknown is how the spouse is with OP's family outside the sister. I feel there's a much bigger issue at hand here, which adds on from #2.

[@MsTemptation]

S3: NTA. Divorce your spouse or be prepared to live a life of hell because your husband is a junkie. This isn't a case of sickness and in health. He is choosing to be a burden to you because he needs a fix and he's going to take you down with him. He didn't get what he needed by purposely crashing his car and by hurting himself. Your husband isn't accident prone. He's purposely hurting himself and hoping that these injuries will yield the type of drugs he needs to feed his addiction. You will become the focal point of his anger because his plans aren't working out in his favor. Get out while you still can.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#4 Op is a huge AH, Op states she is disrespectful not wearing it, lol, that is rich since he took the only thing she had that meant something and destroyed it.

[@lynnw7155]

Yeah; you do that with YOUR family heirlooms...like have YOUR grandmother's diamonds reset for an engagement ring. NOT with your fiancee's family heirlooms!

[@leoniemarks4594]

@@lynnw7155 Absolutely. I inherited a 1/2ct diamond ring which was originally my great aunt's. My grandmother (her sister) said I could have it as my engagement ring. I pointed out - quite rightly - that the fiancee wasn't supposed to provide her own engagement ring! Anyway, I got it for my 21st birthday instead, and it has barely left my finger (right hand) for the last 40 years.

[@TheNormExperience]

Story 3 - I think I understand why your husband is so “accident” prone. It sounds like he has serious impulse/anger control issues. And I really do not like the family turning it around to blame her for being that way. If I was transporting someone and they did something like this I would be terrified of what else they would be capable of in a thousand pound vehicle driving at very high speeds. What if next time he’s mad he grabs the wheel? So no, Op is NTA. There is something else going on here that is far more serious than a hurt wrist.

[@terramarini6880]

Or is he accident prone due to a substance abuse problem that he is keeping under wraps, maybe he was whining cause he spent time in the ER and got mediocre drugs for his trouble and is now jonesing for his real hit. She did say he got in trouble with opiates after a previous injury. I believe he still is in that trouble and just telling loved ones he moved on from it... Also sounds like a narc.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I don't think it's very much about money. It's about the time and commitment. She's prioritizing the business over the marriage. YTA

[@MarkNarrations]

Aye I hear you Andy and agree

[@samiulhuda4001]

its also about money. shes using his money to fund her hobby and adding zero value to his life

[@LadyWolvie82]

There's too much information missing for me to make a judgement, and people need to realise that businesses, especially small ones, do NOT become successful overnight - thinking otherwise on that is a very unrealistic expectation. Some businesses take several months to years to get off the ground if it gets off the ground at all (a friend of mine has her own business, which is a non-profit, where it took her quite some time to get it to where it is now due to changing the direction of it along with the name and location at least once). The spouse has to have some patience on what could very well be a short-term change; and if he is not a fan of change like that, then it's best for them to split because of incompatibility tied to changes in people because people WILL change over time. Having the same exact pattern 24/7 will bore people after a while.

[@moimeself1088]

Story 2: apart from all the other good points raised in the comments, OP claimed he didn't have enough so he *topped up* with wife's money. What ACTUALLY happened was he stole the *entire fuckn amount* from wife's account!!! The bloody cheek! 🤯🤯

[@lynnw7155]

And it doesn't sound like he's making any attempt to pay it back with him own money. Even a small amount out of each paycheck would show the intention of fixing his mistake.

[@anonmouse15]

Gullible AND sneaky. His wife really knows how to pick them.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

S3: I can’t believe there was even one person calling her the asshole. S4: YTA - I honestly think he’s a cheapskate who saw a free diamond and that’s all he cared about. I can’t believe she said yes.

[@rinpaisys]

Story 4: the dudes writing reeks of him not even thinking about her. Like he thought about it and couldn’t come up with anything HE liked as much. It wasn’t even about what she would like, it was what he wanted.

[@Russman67]

Honestly this is one of those stories where you're listening to it and just start screaming "Noooo! Nooooo!" I honestly can't imagine how someone can live this long on the planet and still be this dense.

[@lynnw7155]

Then he talks about how much it cost? He stole the diamond, and that's the expensive part.

[@sitnspin1819]

Story 3 had me punching the air! The Gift of Fear is something everybody needs to read!

[@maureenclarke8120]

I agree! I love that book!

[@Trojianmaru]

Story 3: how can anyone read "you made me do this" and not instantly hear an abusive ex? It's like a parody of the kind of bs excuses abusive exes give when they abuse their partner. He might as well of said "look what you made me do" or "you know I only do it because I love you"

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 Op is a massive AH, Sounds like she did not talk to hubby at all about leaving her job and just assumed he would be ok with him supporting their lifestyle which was built on both salaries. Also sounds like an MLM. Insert surprised Pickachu face when hubby has had enough.

[@jackspring7709]

Story 1: YTA: If the husband has been okay and understanding about it all before, then she can't suddenly dismiss him when he is now annoyed. I also baulked at the way she tried to paint him as an abusive bad guy, here - it makes her a major AH in my opinion.

[@AndyyWithAY]

He can't fend for himself, but he turns off the radio and throws her registration out of the car. Doesnt sound like someone sick to me NTA

[@wildfyah]

1st story YTA. This is one of the reasons my marriage fell apart. He was working long hours for questionable pay, didn't care to spend family time or seek better despite hating the job. We went to therapy, that ended up not working out. Does OP even like her husband?

[@paulchaudoir190]

I think it's time for the husband to change his profession for his happiness and not tell his wife about it. It's time for her to bring something to the table for once.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

*ALL MY VOTES* STORY 2: *YTA* If you borrow money without asking that is called STEALING. Especially when you’re taking that huge chunk of change. A 5K wedding dress is nowhere near an emergency that requires taking money without asking from the emergency find. I hope he should have been honest with his wife and talk to her about lending money to sister. And the fact there’s absolutely no intention to pay that money back is another reason why that money should’ve been taken from the accountant. It’s 100% understandable that the wife will probably not trust her husband with money for a while and might even remove his access from whatever accounts they share. STORY 3: *NTA* Him being a backseat driver bitching about what’s on the radio, pointing where to turn, and constantly complaining how you drive, he sounds like a nightmare passenger. OP didn’t cause her husband to reach into the glove box and threw her important paperwork out the window, that was him being a dick. What of they got pulled over after they did that and the cop asked for a license and registration? OP would’ve gotten in trouble because her husband was being a brat. Glad OP found her registration & him throwing up on the way home was probably a lie to make OP feel bad. He seems like a huge crybaby. “You viciously kicked me out of the car now I’m terrified of being sick around you ever again“ 🙄 After listening to the comments he might be a druggie abusing pills like some suggested. I would seriously reconsider the relationship before one of his tantrums for not getting what he wants evolves into “ I hit you? Well it’s your fault I punched you in the face. You caused me to hit you“ STORY 4: *YTA* OP knew how important that ring was to his girlfriend so it should’ve been 100% off-limits. Girlfriend said she didn’t even want to wear the ring herself because she was worried something might happen to it, that *SCREAMS* how important that rain was to her which of the further created common sense to leave it alone. Especially considering the Grandma recently passed away. That ring is so important to her, not only did she get upset that the diamond was removed from her grandma’s ring to be put into a new one, she probably would’ve gotten upset if OP took her grandma’s ring to get professionally cleaned and restored without her permission. You really think it’s disrespectful she won’t wear the ring because she put so much money into it, she probably thinks it’s disrespectful that you took a priceless family heirloom that meant so much and decided to pluck a diamond out of it for a new ring. OK seriously should’ve asked dude.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

Note the OP scrupulously avoids telling us what the job involves, what field it's in, or anything that might help us understand what is so life-affirming about her job and therefore the husband unreasonable. I think the commenters got it right, it's a form of MLM, and she's having fun playing faux-businesswoman with her sister, effectively on her husband's money. "Learn new skills", "doing things I never thought I could do", "always a new challenge to solve", and especially "issues with vendors" all reeks of it.

[@scousemouse9566]

Story 3, NTA, OP needs to get away from him fast, he is going to get worse 🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇

[@sablemoreno5095]

Last story: "didn't find anything else I liked" That told me everything I needed to know. The OP is a MAJOR AH. It doesn't matter if he likes the ring or the idea for the ring, it's for the GF and what she likes. Ask someone else to help you shop if you're not sure what they like. This was all about the OP and what HE wanted, what HE thought was perfect and how HE is now "disrespected" for her not wearing a piece of her stolen and destroyed property. It doesn't matter if the guy literally sold his soul for the ring, you don't take others people's stuff, then get pissed when they aren't jumping with joy when they realized where it came from. You literally betrayed their trust, destroyed an extremely sentimental item in an extremely vulnerable time (gma having been dead only months) and are now dismissing her feelings, the only worse time/thing to make the situation worse would be to take the ring off the gma's corpse, rip the diamond out and plop it into a new ring at the funeral infront of the whole family and propose in front of the casket (assuming it's casket and not cremation) Reminds me of 2 stories- a wife who bought her husband an expensive watch with his own half of the finances and basically put him in debt, and a GF of like under a year stealing her BF credit card to buy and make a surprise breakfast and didn't say anything about where the money came from until she was directly asked. Guess what, they were also not happy that the BF/husband wasn't ecstatic that their stuff (money in this case) was stolen as a 'meaningful gift' to them.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Honestly, he could have proposed without an actual ring and ask to look at rings together. Or get one of those candy ones like in Deadpool lol but I can’t believe he just destroyed an heirloom that she clearly loved so much. He wanted to make this about himself and get praise. I can’t think of any other reason why someone would do that.

[@Metal_Mouth]

Story 2: I knew what my judgment is the moment he said it was for a wedding dress. I was expecting a medical/vet bills, emergency rent, or something but no... it was for a wedding dress that cost 5 grands. That is pretty expensive even by wedding dress standards (average costing around $400-$1k at least in the US). Sister defiantly sees op as a sucker and he is never seeing his (his wife's) money back unless he presses his sister. And to add to that he hid that transaction from his wife for 2 months now. He is 100% gonna be in the dog house for a while at the very least. And presuming this story is real why didn't sister wait until her new card came in? Her dress isn't going anywhere, unless she went dress shopping at the very last minute, I'm pretty sure she could ask the boutique to hold it for her until she could reinstate her card or even set up a payment plan? Doesn't really matter now since sister it's obvious what's going on with sister.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: did OP decide to quit her last job without discussing it with her partner? Is he working more to make up for the lost income? Because OP is being an unreasonable AH here.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

She isn’t the AH .

[@invisible123-l9d]

She does not need his permission to change jobs. He is whining because he has to do the housework, whereas before he could laze on the sofa, and drink beer.

[@SupremeCommanderBaiser]

Story one: “We can life comfortably of his income“. No. YOU can. He is stressed out, not comfortable.

[@MovableNu]

Story 4: I could chalk it up as an honest mistake OP can learn from. But then they got pissy when their gift wasn't received the way they wanted. And their post seems written in a spirit of trying to paint the girlfriend as being unreasonable for being mad. Take the hit, apologize for having your heart in the right place, but bad execution, and work to repair!

[@secret_reads]

He basically stole the diamond and it may have damaged the setting that it originally came in when the diamond was removed so it may not even be able to be restored to the original ring. Her mum even said no or that she wasn't sure about it (which if you use any common sense is still like a no) and he's just blaming everyone else because he doesn't want to take any responsibility. It kind of seems he did it to get a free diamond so the ring would be cheaper, he could have done some research and looked into more affordable diamond alternatives instead of stealing his girlfriend's ring that he knows she doesn't wear much because she likes to keep it safe as it is very special to her.

[@delmaplain6823]

YTA! Either cut back on hours, and put family first, or prepare yourself for the divorce that is coming!

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

If he divorces her, SHE HASN'T LOST ANYTHING. HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

[@blkbrdmntrvimes6438]

@@jeannemclaughlin7978 why ? Because he's tired of being used and neglected, she's not home , not helping around said home, not really contributing anything meaningful. While also refusing any attempt at discussion. How's he TA? Not attacking you in anyway, this is genuine curiosity. And what is the opinion when the roles are reversed?(he takes a shit job and a paycut, without discussing it with her, while riding her coattails on her dime?) She's the villain here

[@Foxxnsocks]

Lmaoooooo I cried when you said this would turn from AITA to r/ nosleep. I definitely spend my time reading creepy pastas from that subreddit all the time. 🤣

[@lillithherondale1972]

If someone destroyed a family heirloom of mine to propose to me i would straight up dump them. No questions asked.

[@MeloraCarabas]

That ring story sounds like a variation of the classic story of a deadbeat lover trying to woo the other by giving a bouquet of flowers picked from that other's own front yard. "Because I know you love these flowers...right?"

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 YTA!! She said you could use the money for emergencies. 5K was a wedding dress is NOT an emergency. If you don't have money to buy a wedding dress, you should not be borrowing to buy a 5,000 wedding dress

[@MarkNarrations]

Do you think she was borrowing or stealing as it sounds like op isn't going to get it back. I think anyway

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@MarkNarrations Stealing because, if the sister was really going to pay the money back, she would have offered to pay small amounts until the full amount was paid back. I wonder if the reason he didn’t consult his wife is because the sister never repaying money is commonplace.

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

Story 3: This asshat should count his blessings that he didn't come home to find the locks changed and his belongings in boxes on the porch. He not only doesn't respect OP as the driver who came to his rescue but even as a person from the sound of things. He walked for hours to get back home. He can pick up his shit and keep walking.

[@alenasenie6928]

Last story: the tipping point is the double down, the rest might be understandable if it can be repaired, to my understanding it can. Meanwhile the grade of care she had with the heirloom was telling about how much she cared about the significance of the heirloom, so, finding out the materials and have some kind of replica would be the correct move instead of using parts of the heirloom, or, since the heirloom is a ring, using the heirloom itself.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Hubby is trying to isolate u and take ur income and independence. Don’t ever quit

[@karab7626]

Hey Mark! I was thinking about phrases you like “pound sand” and “kick rocks” being the ones that I've heard you mention the most. But have you heard the phrase “go suck a lemon”? It's my favorite, so I wanted to share it.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP is TA and he should put all his earned money back into that savings ASAFP. OP should take the brunt of the stupid "loan" to his sister. $5k for a dress is bullshit and NOT an emergency. BTW, she wouldn't be able to repay him using a card as card transfers charge an additional 10% plus which is totally unreasonable. Sis is the asshole as well for asking for a loan she had no intentions to pay back.

[@LunaMane]

I looked at the responses OP made to some comments. A lot of last minute considerations about what his sister's intentions were - and she apparently has more money than him but doesn't want to pay it back. So not only is he the arsehole, which he still would be even if sister did pay him back, but he's stupid. I hope the wife checks the accounts, finds the discrepancy and divorces him.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@LunaMane I hope the wife has the nerve to go after the sister for that money. Small claims court, if need be. That’s probably the only way she will get paid back.

[@LunaMane]

@@RuminatingRaptor So do I. This is why I am pro seperate finances with married couples, and goddamn it enable that Two-Step Authentication so you'll know if someone tries to log into your accounts.

[@rhaeasoul8531]

I mean someone not paying or forgetting about some 20 ish dollar debt is fine but if you ask for hundreds or thousands you pay that shit back ASAP or at least when you’re reminded. My friend double ordered something 200$ each that we both wanted and you bet I had that money ready to give him when he came by. At some some point there has to a limit that you aren’t going to just forget or not care no matter who you lent it to.

[@robertx8020]

@@LunaMane Divorces him AFTER he's payed her back ;)

[@BruinPhD2009]

Mark: “Got to use your own noggin.” Me: “Holy crap, I can’t even remember the last time I heard someone say “noggin.” 🤣

[@MarkNarrations]

LOL let's bring it back!

[@MS-dw1nh]

I like listening to these while I make items for my etsy shop :) I make stuff thats super miniature so its nice having something to listen to while I concentrate

[@thedestroyasystem]

That sounds so lovely! What’s your shop called? I love miniatures :)

[@kkstar1718]

I'm hoping that we might get some sort of update for Story 1, if not then possibly additional information as to what sort of job OP has.

[@darrylblanch8463]

Mee too, and some clarification on things not mentioned. The comments seem to indicate no replies/ fill in details or answers. Seems to me OP didn't talk it with hubby, forcing him to now pay ALL the bills & do the housework (as she 'often' doesn't get home till very late, hubby is in bed) I doubt she goes around doing her share of it. 12-14hr work days leaves very little time/energy to do anything really

[@ashh4929]

Yeah, the lack of responses and shady description makes me wonder if it IS something foolish like an MLM and she's turning into one of "those" types of MLM product pushers. Hours of work with zero result and zero time for anyone else not involved with whatever sub-par product they're pushing.

[@bilbybloom]

LOL On the First story the first thing i thought was "This sounds like an MLM"

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA being sick does not give him a license to be abusive. The relatives talk about OP having anger issues yet he's the one who threw a tantrum over a SONG. It lasts 3-5 minutes ffs. 8 Edit after comments: oh yeah, absolutely agree that he could be drug seeking. Addicts can be very abusive to get what they want. This is especially true when it comes to drugs, and once they start that abusive manipulation in one avenue, it becomes part of everything.

[@carolroberts4614]

If it had been Maria Carey I would have thrown myself out of the car! I've heard it everywhere today and I have a particular aversion!

[@Mewse1203]

@@carolroberts4614 best part of being a hermit is the lack of having to hear Christmas songs while out and about. I feel sorry for my wife thpugh.

[@gremal2135]

For story 3, I can sort of see where the husband is coming from. If I'm in pain I get really irritable and snippy. I can see myself in him here, but he is TA for throwing the papers out, that was taking it to the max.

[@chewbyham9197]

Yo mark! Ayanna again I went walking around Kokusaidori (a famous Okinawan road) while listening to your podcasts. Luckily and not so luckily I saved up a bunch of episodes from being busy and it was really fun to visit all the vendors while listening to ya! Thank you again for blessing my ears and filling my free time ❤️❤️✨

[@Silence-1170]

Wishing you all a great Monday! Today's my Birthday and I received great news my grandpa is feeling a lot better. Wishing all of you waffles the best!

[@MarkNarrations]

Happy Birthday Silence, wishing you a lovely day ahead! Also, that's great news that your Granpda is feeling better

[@Silence-1170]

@@MarkNarrations Thank you so much! I was so happy when I received the news!

[@MarkNarrations]

@@Silence-1170 I bet you was, it's lovely news. Super happy for yourself and family :)

[@carolroberts4614]

Happy Birthday 🎂 and a cheer for grandpa!

[@Buff_Helpy]

Story 1: mark, I love when we agree.

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey happens occasionally doesn't it Buff?! YEAAAAHHHH *flexes*

[@Buff_Helpy]

@@MarkNarrations OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! •flexes epically•

[@queen_of_flatulence]

The husband in story 3 sounds a lot like my stepfather

[@elaexplorer]

Plot twist, it is. lol

[@mattm314]

Story 3-the only issue I had with OP was refusing to turn a song off. When you don't feel good, an annoying song or noise can he unbearable. That said, my wife has dogshit musical taste and I've never once even thought of throwing her papers out of the car because she was listening to an annoying song. When her husband bitched about getting kicked out she should have said "You made me do it"

[@ashh4929]

Well this limp wristed dip wad wasn't hurting bad enough to do something that is not only stupid but illegal. And this isn't a turn around and go back for him type tiff. It sounds like this isn't the first time he has pulled crap like this, it sounds like this is the first time she didn't take his bull shit.

[@jodieg6318]

Holy crap Story One, I'm a tradie and nearly every guy I work with has a failed marriage because they chased the money so hard. Working 12 hours 6 or 7 days a week in another state because of some big project project that was paying double time and only coming home maybe once a week or every 2 weeks and that was for damn good pay and benefits. But a wage packet isn't enough to make a marriage happy, you actually have to present to in a partnership as there's no replacing lost time, especially if there are children evolved.

[@damien678]

this is now making me wonder how a tradie couple would fare in their relationship

[@jodieg6318]

@@damien678 I can actually tell you :) My husband is also in the trades and it works out very well for us. We both decided that unless we need to money that we weren't going to work insane amounts of overtime or go out of state. That's a big one. But also because of a shared career path we both know the daily struggles, pains, and other things we both go threw so there is an easy short hand between us and we don't fall into a rut of 'whose got the harder job' competition.

[@damien678]

@@jodieg6318 That sounds really great, I might have to genuinely talk to my bf about us both going into tradie jobs! I'm seriously so glad its worked out for you both

[@dwightehowell8179]

Stealing the stone from your girl friend to make a cheap engagement ring is a feces thing to do.

[@huinismith]

Story 1: INFO (I changed my mind, YTA): did you discuss your career change with your husband? Or did you just drop the "I'm downgrading, lol" bomb on him? Let me check my notes: Less money, More responsibilities, Longer hours, aaaanndd the cherry on top, Working for the family!!!!! Have you lost your mind, OP?

[@villageidiot7584]

Last Story: The thing about the ring is that this sentiment varies from family to family and person to person. Some people may think of it as breathing new life into an old piece whereas others prefer to keep the heirloom completely as is. OP taking action on this without knowing how his girlfriend would feel about it is just terrible. This is doubled by the way he was offended she didn't like it and complained about the price. What an AH I hope he either pulls his head out of his behind and does everything he can to salvage this or she realizes that her fiancé is trash and leaves him.

[@parkerpenafiel9014]

He could’ve easily taken it and had it replicated so she could have a ring that would remind her of her gma without having to risk losing the ACTUAL heirloom. And it would’ve been way more thoughtful and gone way better.

[@kristy1653]

Exactly. Which shows he was just a cheap asshole.

[@hvymax]

I guess OP needs to cut back and pay his wife back!!! Take the sister to court!

[@myrabeth77]

Story 1 is missing vital information about the business situation that the whole question pivots on: Was this a well thought out start-up with feasible goals set for each year? Is it already progressing well toward those benchmarks? Is OP sister's employee or partner? What does the prognosis look like for time contributions and income in a year, based on current growth rate and similar companies in that field in their general region? What about in two years? It's a new business. For it to run the principals ragged and leave their pockets slim for a couple of years is normal. Without that kind of data, we don't know if Hubby is trying to shake some very reasonable awareness into his wife or just too impatient/nervous to be a spouse to someone involved in a new small business.

[@jjgonzalez7703]

In the last story, op said he couldn't find anything else he liked. But he only used the stone from the ring. Make it make sense

[@impagain]

Story 4, you can make custom rings for bit that much more expensive than a normal ring! You could have custom made a ring that looked very similar to her grandmother's, that way you get points for sentimentality and paying attention to her and her likes! Instead you ravaged an old heirloom. You owe her a diamond and a repair on the old ring.

[@s.g.arimos497]

Haven’t caught your videos in a while but I’m happy to be back!

[@MarkNarrations]

I was like, haven't seen that name in a while! Welcome back S.G hope you enjoy my friend

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#2 OP is an Ah ta 5k wedding dress is NOT an emergency. OP stole from his wife. He needs to fess up and I hope wife removes his access from any accounts. Edit to add sue sister for money back

[@giselleyfish3612]

Yeah that’s opiate addiction and I know because I used to do exactly what the one commenter described. I never vandalized or messed with other people’s stuff but I would definitely get way too angry and mean when I didn’t get the drugs I wanted. That commenter is spot on

[@Lily_May]

Story 2: if sister actually had the money in 2 days when she gets a card that's not expired, a normal person would just ask the store to hold the dress and she would come back for it in 2 days. Someone who doesn't have that kind of money would ask to "borrow" it from someone. How the hell did OP not know he was never going to see that money again. Of course sister isn't giving it back. YTA OP, why? well for being stupid.

[@jnnamartin]

S1: it sounds like she up & quit a job to go work with her sister without even having a discussion about it! Who makes a big life change like that without talking it through with their partner- & how it'd affect the family? That's just crazy to me. Ofc OP is TA.

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

I’ve just got back to work after almost 3 weeks in the hospital and it’d be pretty tough if it were not for Mark’s spicy waffle 🥵 Honestly, this has been my number one remedy for boredom/breakup/anxiety and stress (but also a good company for the sunny days) ever since I stumbled upon this channel and community about a year ago. Mark, you are absolutely deserving of all the love this beautiful community generates and so are all the members ❤️

[@shebakoby]

"Captain, I have recently learned 'the rules of the road'. Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole."

[@aislygncovante7524]

Wedding dress lender: I mean, honestly, even though we no longer need to, my husband and I have always kept to the rule we put together when money was VERY tight (like, social support kinda tight); anything over twenty bucks, outside of bills and groceries and understood expenses, we discussed. Even if it was just a book, we would clear it first with each other. Nowadays, now that we're doing better than before, we don't really need that rule, but on the way out the store still send a text. "Hey. You'll see 33.50 on the card. Bought a movie and some books. Chicken for dinner?" It's not tough in the communication age to be straight with your partner. An unnecessary display of respect is better than an omitted necessary one.

[@standinthegsp6858]

Is he always abusive? This behavior is abusive, manipulative, cruel & bullying. The fact his family condones this & blames you shows they’re cut from the same cloth. Imagine if he treated your sister or mom this way. What if he treated your husband this way?!!!

[@crem-crem4070]

Hi Mark! Am listening to you while making some data graphs for my mom’s NGO. Just want you to know that ya make me smile 😊 Edit: story 4; I love my grandma to the moon and back, if someone did this to a ring she left to me I would be livid. I’d reject the man, end the relationship and likely contact the authorities.

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww Crem, that's lovely to hear. You just made me smile too :)

[@hannahjanis8616]

Damn, that third story is a wild ride. If she'd gotten pulled over for throwing stuff out the passenger side, she would've gotten fined for littering AND driving without insurance/registration. That can get a lil pricey.

[@hatterrose]

I hope the OP's wife takes her SIL to small claims court. At the end of the day, ESH except the wife. No hospital is going to release a patient in the level of pain the husband claims, unless they think he is pill seeking. Generally, you are given some kind of anti-nausea as well, so the throwing up on the way home is likely theatrics. And did he not have a phone to call a friend? I call BS. If OP wanted to propose with an heirloom, it should have been an heirloom from his side of the family!

[@sablemoreno5095]

Imma say NAH for 1st story. Purely because it sounds like these two need more communication and to have an in depth discussion and to really listen to each other (at least the OP does cause it sounds like she half listened before) If the OP was feeling stifled in her previous job, it's possible that could have worsened her mental health if she stayed longer/leaves and gets a similar job and put a strain on the relationship if she was constantly in a bad mood from work. The husband is feeling the strain on the relationship because of the long hours and possible financial struggles not yet evident to the OP. I think they need to sit down and air everything out- come to a compromise where maybe OP works longer during the week but is on an absolute no contact on the weekend so they can have their time together. And looking at passive ways for the OP to make some more money to make up some of the difference in the income. That or bump her down to part time for the sister and full time somewhere else.

[@samiulhuda4001]

there is no communication problem. shes just being selfish. she doesnt contribute financially and shes never home comes home after he is in bed. what use is she to him at this point. hes working to fun her hobby. if thats what she wants to do she can be single and do it alone.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#3 NTA Op husband is abusive, time to leave and leave fast. My first husband was like him, it took him nearly linking me in front of our 3 yr old for me to run.

[@jennilynne1977]

I'm at work with a case of the Mondays. 3 and a half hours to go. My work week is half over though once this day is done.

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

Hi Mark! Absolutely screaming at “Holy moly with bull balls on top.” At least that’s what I thought I heard. Im in tears jsjdjf that’s amazing

[@MarkNarrations]

LOL was meant to be baubles but we'll go with bull balls lol!

[@scarletgoldenthorn]

@@MarkNarrations That’s actually really cute! The baubles, not the bull balls lol

[@carmenbarrera80]

Happy Monday Mark. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

[@TNTMAN360]

I can confirm this is the first comment

[@MarkNarrations]

Happy Monday C, hope you've had a great weekend yourself. Let's smash this week

[@carmenbarrera80]

@@MarkNarrations I was hopping to talk to you about the I am worthy t-shirt.

[@MarkNarrations]

@@carmenbarrera80 Ahh yes I haven't forgotten, I was attempting to upload it the other day but as I had the image designed for mug/sticker size I'm a bit worried about putting it on a shirt as it may pixelate and not look great which would be the last thing I want for you. I'm going to try again quickly and report back.

[@carmenbarrera80]

@@MarkNarrations Thank you so much I really appreciate you taking your time with this.

[@carmenbarrera80]

I was hopping to get a hold of you, to talk about the I am worthy t-shirts for my kiddos.

[@Steampunkkids]

@Mark Narrations At 7:40 you make the funniest comment ever. Going from r/mlm to r/nosleep! I spit out my water I was laughing so hard! Thank you for being you!

[@LadyLabyrinth1337]

Story 4: oh my god he's such a huge ah! The moment he said she kept it in a box because she was worried about losing it so it was easy for him to take activated my fight or flight instincts and holy shit I wanted to fight him. You do not take apart antique or even sentimental jewellery! Then it loses all it's value, my mother has 10k worth of antique jewellery but if you were to take the diamonds out, they would be utterly worthless

[@karaleetdrenduringdragon8961]

Story #4: My dad received some diamond rings from his mother. He gave one ring to my mom and lifted the stone from the second one to place in a man's ring for himself. I asked for the setting, and eventually picked up a light blue tourmaline on a vacation. I had a jeweler set the stone in the old, charmingly dated setting, and that's how three people wore two of grandma's rings. That said, I would NOT have been thrilled to have someone outside come in and make those decisions for any of us. Family heirlooms are for family. Some would love the fiancée's idea, some would hate it. At the very least, the girl will walk into a marriage uncertain she can really trust how well this man knows her and respects her desires... and feels uncertain leaving things important to her within his reach. There's more than one way to break the trust in a marriage, and respect runs TWO ways, not just one.

[@sherryflanigan7680]

I just lost my identical twin in October and if someone messed with anything I have of hers, I could never forgive that and would never talk to them again!

[@riceracm]

I’m just sitting at the doctor’s office, waiting for my appointment that was supposed to be 45 minutes ago…. Thus is life! 🤪

[@pinklemonade8320]

Story 1: It stuck out to me how OP thinks her husband is working extra hours to spite her and not to, idk, maybe,, supplement the income they lost when she switched jobs?? She seems self-absorbed.

[@thebirdchannelforfans623]

Just what I thought too. I also wonder if it’s a multi-level marketing scam, OP interestingly doesn’t describe the business.

[@pinklemonade8320]

@@thebirdchannelforfans623 I didn't think it was an MLM because of the word "engineer" in the username, and because she described her work as "solving problems". It sounds like her sister made some tech/engineering startup. This would also be consistent with her describing her sister as "smart". I also feel like if it was an MLM, there would be some mention of the common MLM propaganda. "We're changing people's lives!" "I can work any hours I want now that I'm away from the corporate grind!" "I'm going to retire my husband when I become a billionaire" etc

[@thebirdchannelforfans623]

@@pinklemonade8320 hmmmm….. that is definitely a possibility, particularly since that kind of startup often does involve long hours and less pay in the beginning and the talk of problem solving, etc… Even though there isn’t the common jargon of changing lives I do have to wonder if it’s an MLM just since she doesn’t seem to want to mention much about the business, though people are often skeptical, often rightfully, of tech startups, so that may be why she doesn’t describe it much.

[@wmdkitty]

Story 2: YTA. That's theft.

[@damien678]

S3, I feel like such a butthead for this but I just rolled my eyes in Chronic Pain at this dude. Buddy wouldn't be able to last a damn hour with something like fibromyalgia, and I also have anger issues (although I actually can manage it most of the time) But also, BLOODY HELL YOUR REGISTRATIONS????? WHAT???????

[@Passions5555]

I adore your avatar. It's so cute.

[@damien678]

@@Passions5555 ok but YOUR ONE is so aesthetic, I love 'old' anime styles

[@mpmansell]

I suspect that pain isn't the issue, but pain meds are. What better way to get prescribed the pain meds than having all these accidents. Its not an uncommon behaviour.

[@damien678]

@@mpmansell I'm glad I'm not addicted to drugs like my parents have been (and I've tried, in the past, to become an alcoholic but it didn't really stick) because boy howdy do I have the physical pain to kinda warrant it. I definitely feel bad for both of them if he is an addict, and I hope they can both get help

[@mpmansell]

@@damien678 I agree but sympathy for an addict can only go so far. I speak from experience that there comes a point where being near them does far too much harm and can bring far too much risk and many of them will do nothing to help the situation. It is irrelevant if they have the ability to help themselves when the people they harm have the ability to help themselves, and others, by stepping away.

[@cjb2749]

Story #3: holy hell he's like a tantruming teenager! I could NOT deal with that guy as a friend or family member, let alone a husband! OP, it's time for you to move on. You're not compatible, neither of you have any respect for each other, and your marriage seems more like a habit and a chore than a fulfilling relationship between 2 people that love each other. There's just no point in staying miserable together. Let him go find somebody who's immature and dramatic like he is, and you go find yourself an adult. You'll both be much happier, I promise.

[@ronbucher3172]

Dude avoided asking the dad who would have obviously advised against it

[@oakenshadow6763]

In the first one, his argument was that she is being taken advantage of. He misses you, and sees you bring driven too hard. OP needs to remember that he needs her, and she needs free time. I think this is a lack of communicate. I hope OP sees she is being taken advantage of.

[@ThePinkBinks]

Marry me. Here’s a diamond you already own and I destroyed your heirloom to get it. Hardly a gift when it was already hers to start with.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - I would have told my sister to wait until her card comes in, I highly doubt there’s any reason unless she was at a trunk show where she wouldn’t be able to go back into the store a couple days later and still purchase the dress. I would be so angry if my spouse gave anyone over a couple hundred dollars without saying anything, and if they’re taking it from our safety net money on a non-emergency I’d really consider divorce. Shit like this is why I will never share my finances with a partner.

[@kellypatterson8506]

1st story for now I'm gonna say opie is not to butthead as long as there is a payoff at the end

[@doggolovescheese1310]

The passenger story: no excuse for that behavior period. He is off his rocker.

[@krystiharper]

5k for a wedding dress!? That is crazy! There are sites to get something nice for a couple hundred.