Told MIL NO ONE CARES About Her Hurt Feelings, Her Husband Isn't Coming To Our Wedding r/AITA

[@MarkNarrations]

I miss the dislike button already, I would have loved to have seen it on this video with me talking about that A5 Wagyu, forgive me!

[@packergeek10]

Return KZbin dislike extension works for the time being.

[@ophilianecr]

Just for an FYI Mark, in many restaurants, if you order a well done steak, you WILL get either of the following. Enjoy!: 1. The oldest steaks in the fridge, because "well done" hides the look and flat flavor, unlike rare and medium. 2. You get "do over" steak. The ones that were cooked past medium/rare, when the order asked for rare/ medium. 3. Lower quality meats. Because as it turns out, steak connoisseurs will not "waste" perfect cuts on "well done"; as that is in fact a waste. All composition, flavor and texture is ruined, and you if you order it well done, you clearly don't care for such things like quality and maximum flavor.

[@minagica]

I still have mine

[@robertx8020]

I wanted to dislike this video because there weren't enough waffles in it :)

[@saratronus]

@@robertx8020 same :)

[@ashh4929]

Story 2: I'm sorry you guys I blacked out after he started describing how he prepped his steaks. Talk dirty to me OP, talk dirty! 🤤 😂 🤤

[@Mimiroo]

Steak story: I’m beyond shocked at all the YTA votes on this one, not only is A5 wagyu one of the most expensive cuts of meat but the OP sent out the menu weeks before stating that if the guest wanted a well done steak then he’d buy a cheaper steak. If you’re a guest at a dinner party then you accept the food served and don’t complain, if you don’t like it then eat something else on the way home.

[@hatterrose]

Wagyu is at least $100/lb., while Ribeye is $10. There were other things to eat, and cooking that steak the way she wanted ruins all of the prep work the OP did. It changes the texture, taste, and mouthfeel of the meat. He has already prepared the meat in a sous vide (water bath) to the correct temp to kill bacteria, which is only on the outside of the meat anyway from being cut. Cows don't walk around with all of their tissue diseased. The red that comes off a steak when you cut it is a protein that breaks down, NOT blood. Aged steaks don't really have that.

[@kimbarnes9809]

1 he did not pay for it and 2 who are you to judge how someone eats the food and 3 as a host you make the food to the guests taste. It would have taken 2 minutes to cook the steak further. Get a grip

[@nightstarstar1]

There’s no way I’m eating steak with blood coming out of it. I don’t care what any of you bloody meat eaters claim. He should not be trying to force his guests to eat the meat the way he insists. Once he refused to cook it more she should’ve just passed on it instead of fighting with him further and allowed him to be the bad host on his own.

[@TheTony282]

I just wanted to point out that Waygu is $200-$600 a steak. The price point is so high because it's meant to be extremely tender to the point of almost not needing a knife to cut it when cooked to medium max. Cooking to well done will dry out the steak excessively because of this, which is why the OP offered in the menu to pick up a sirloin which can tolerate higher temperature cooking without effecting the flavor or texture as much.

[@TheTony282]

Added to add, most people would know Waygu better as the name Kobe Steak. The biggest difference between Waygu and Kobe is that the cow was raised in the Hyogo Prefecture, Japan which has the capital Kobe that the steaks take their name from.

[@Steampunkkids]

@@TheTony282 Thank you for this information. That makes more sense to my USA ears!

[@KyrieChii]

@@TheTony282 Thank you for the educational info!! Always appreciated. 🤓 😊 That helps to understand a little better.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Oh, no need to sell me further. OP was 0/5 Assholes the moment he said it was Wagyu.

[@sternobum1524]

Who cares. It's her steak and if she wants the mofo burnt to a crisp, that's how she wants HER steak.

[@Oicurmtoyoy]

*Story 1 comments:* You're making judgments based one one side of the story. *This whole subreddit:* Is about making judgments based one one side of the story.

[@owl7072]

That's what I think when I hear that line. Unless it's a post where the OP gets called out by one of the parties in the post, we only have one side of the story to go on and that's what we're making a judgment on, not what we assume to be what really happened.

[@Cell287]

I see both sides and ESH

[@direwolf8703]

@@Cell287 how could you possibly see both sides when only one side has been presented though?

[@hazeltulip]

@@direwolf8703 I don’t know, if you present your side and everybody takes the other persons part… Doesn’t that tell you something about how bad your side is? Like you can’t even justify telling from a one-sided position

[@direwolf8703]

@@hazeltulip nope I used to but that was abused out of me, when your SO uses her friends to tell you how wrong you are about a situation and then the exact same situation where the parties are reversed and I was still wrong taught me the group could just be a group of POS's that I want nothing to do with

[@JustAGalOnTheGo]

The steak was already sous vide before it was seared so there was no need to cook it well done. I’m with the OP and the woman could’ve chosen another protein instead of being a choosing beggar.

[@connorWalshywalsh]

Plus he had so much more delicious shit as well

[@robertx8020]

She didn't even try it! Her only reason was "it doesn't look good'

[@gerble36]

@@robertx8020 Some people have an aversion to blood. But that was a temper tantrum worthy of a two year old... All that was missing was stomping her feet and pouting...

[@KyrieChii]

@@gerble36 And texture can be a concern too, but I agree that she behaved terribly. This event sounds like it devolved into a shit show, which is a shame.

[@robertx8020]

@@gerble36 Maybe she did and OP forgot to mention it ;)

[@shikuthetempest]

She went to put her WAGYU STEAK in the MICROWAVE oh my lord I think my soul just left my body

[@dogge1599]

For those wondering about story 1 you should always read the comments. Apparently OP' husband was always verbally abusive to his mom (that's why I got from her explanation). And whe he was sent to his dad's house, his dad neglected him and he became the emotional support for his step-mom. Basically, the whole family is nuts.

[@flamelily2086]

If OP's husband was verbally abusive to his mom he will be verbally abusive in to OP as well. Men often treat their wives the same way that they treat their mothers.

[@chetarisin3035]

@@flamelily2086 oh damn

[@pippo17173]

Oh fuck that is.....interesting. It looks like op is just blinded by love and not seeing that keven is a awful person and more comparable to the dad. Op is gonna be having a shock pikachu face once keven ether emotional abuses her or just straight up cheats on her.

[@kittie479]

@@pippo17173 it seems op Is not that different to her husband. Who tells their FMIL “nobody cares about your feelings”, esp when the person actually affected was starting to soften up?

[@pippo17173]

@@kittie479 true but I still expect the marriage to fail later in life, depending how bad it gets with keven.

[@MsBELLE7]

Sorry 2; everyone seems to be missing how terrible the guest acted. He had sent out a menu weeks before hand. He had already cooked and set the table. She isn't a child, she doesn't get her food recooked. She sucks imo.

[@atinyevil1383]

I agree. Also, her microwaving it would have not have been a good idea.

[@dustyrose192]

But it was her food, yes she shouldnt have avted like that but he shouldnt have dicated like that either

[@Zaya512]

Right, it was OPs home not a freaking reastraunt you can't just demand they change the menu.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@dustyrose192 theoretically true, but when you’re a guest in someone’s home you’re expected to suck it up to some extent. She had other options available, or could’ve told OP ahead of time as requested. The fact that she didn’t attempt either of those options makes her an AH.

[@MsBELLE7]

@@dustyrose192 she got a menu weeks in advance, saying if you wanted something else then to say som she didn't. She also chose to not say anything until the grill was seemingly off, the table was sat, and people were eating. This is not a restaurant, it is her newish boyfriend's, friends home with several other couples where she would hopefully be on her best behavior. Instead she chose to freak out, yell and insult the host who had paid for and cooked all of the food. Including many other options that she could have chosen to eat, ya know since she is an adult. I would have kicked her out for cursing at me. I think if he's an ahole he's a justified one.

[@dragon_nova_luna]

please look up on how wagyu meat is/should be cooked. It’s not just any type of meat. Oh boy. The girl could’ve just eaten something else, not start a fight, especially when she’s wrong about that statement and the host did give time in advance for options and did cook several dishes . NTA on that one.

[@williambarefoot3631]

The thing about wagyu is that the cows are treated ridiculously well. In Japan and probably here that means being fed delicious food and beer and being massaged daily and as little stress as possible. This leads to more marbling, intramuscular fat, in the meat. This means a much more tender cut of meat and A5 means it is one of the best cuts from that cow you could get. Medium rare is considered the best as the meat is cooked to a safe internal temperature and gives the most bang for your buck. Cooking it brown all the way through tends to dry out the meat and on a 2 inch thick steak, could over cook the outside and make it inedible. On a side note sous-vide is a french term. Essentially you cook it in water at a set temperature., usually 2-3 or so hours. It can go longer, but will lose flavor if cooked too long. Since it maintains a steady temp, it won't overcook and can be removed later and finished on a stove top or grill to give it a good crust.

[@catandrobbyflores]

And I'd like to add on that the meat itself costs hundreds of dollars.

[@dk9619]

Thank you for the well-written comment. Good on you! I learned some stuff

[@faeb.9618]

jesus those cows live better than i do wtf

[@Kattlarv]

On the Disney story: I'd be tempted to tell the kids: "Sorry, your mom refuses to let you come with me. She doesn't think its worth paying for you to go.", throw it back at her.

[@badkitty4922]

NIIIICE!!

[@NCAnon]

I wish I was able to use that response on OP's behalf

[@robertx8020]

lol

[@KyrieChii]

I'd be too afraid that she might somehow produce the money, leaving OP without an 'out' aside from having to tell her* GF her* plans. Better to just put her* foot down with a 'No'.

[@Kattlarv]

@@KyrieChii Based on the attitude so far, they would NOT be able to produce the money, and would very much instead throw the "B-But YOU should be happy to pay! Don't be so selfish! I'm a struggling single mom!" card. Also: OP is a woman.

[@randalthor741]

For context on the steak story: A5 Wagyu is basically the absolute best quality steak in the entire world, and if you cook it to well done you're destroying what makes it such a prized, high quality cut. A well done A5 wagyu steak is no better than a bog-standard cheap well done steak. It's kind of like if you took a 40 year old Glenfiddich and mixed it with Coke. At that point this luxury item that connoisseurs dream of has been ruined, and is no better than a standard cheap whiskey.

[@KittenUndercover]

that comparison is perfect

[@unorthodoxpeach]

Now I want steak and whiskey. It became an NTA when he said he sent a menu ahead of time and request for cook temps

[@kellymcdonnell2271]

Ah, but was the girlfriend educated in steak? There is no evidence she was, and instead was presented with a steak and told "just eat it" like a parent to a child. OP doesn't even explain if GF knew to ask for well done steak before the gathering. Her boyfriend may not have told her, further adding to the abruptness of being told to eat it, just like a parent to a fussy kid.

[@HealthyObbsession]

@@kellymcdonnell2271 honestly I think she was thinking of ground beef which you have to brown all the way through Not steak

[@Creshosk]

@@kellymcdonnell2271 Ignorance is no excuse for wanting to flush someone else's money down the toilet. The steak wasn't the only food available so the guest didn't HAVE to insist on the best cut in the world steak to ruin. Imagine if the food had been a non-edible thing like decorative faberge eggs, and the person complained about them and called them ugly and said they'd look much better if they had some low department store version. If the host had known ahead of time they could have gotten the cheaper egg and kept the more expensive one for someone who would actually enjoy it. Calling them an asshole for not letting them turn it into a cheapo egg was over the top too.

[@catandrobbyflores]

My jaw just had to drop when that gf wanted wagyu well done. No, no, NO! That ruins the steak! I've only ever had it once and it was an expensive meal and totally worth it.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

Story 2: “what if someone says they want their steak well done?” “We ask them politely but firmly to leave” -hank hill

[@paden1865able]

I can barely manage medium rare, my steak has to be blood rare only. I'm weird like that.

[@SorenPenrose]

@@paden1865able That's not weird, steak isn't meant to be cooked through. Medium at the absolute most, but I still consider that overcooked.

[@ohwow9769]

Dang, you beat me to it 🤣

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@ohwow9769 well someone else in the comments also beat me to it

[@Hanzo1]

I would have just let let destroy her portion, no skin off my nose

[@marcissmiley3131]

Story 2: NTA Menu’s we’re sent out in advance for guest who wanted well done steak. And who the fuck microwaves meat 🤮. Plus you don’t ask the host to get up and cook more after the fact especially when there was a week in advance notice to make how they wanted. This man spent well over 12 hours in the kitchen why should he have to get up and continue to cook. The lady was a bad guest once the friend and the girl breakup the ex best friend will be coming. And just another layer to this story may be a stretch but the fact the girlfriend is making her boyfriend cut off close friends and secluding into only needing her seems abusive.

[@dustyrose192]

we dont know if she's secluding him, i mean i wouldnt put it past her but we have no evidence of that

[@Creshosk]

@@dustyrose192 So why did everyone else at the table get cut off too if it was just an issue with the host? She's definitely the controlling type. She could have just had something other than the steak, but no, she had to call the host an asshole and then insist on the steak. AND THEN she and her boyfriend cut EVERYONE off. Red flags everywhere on that one.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Of course it is, she tried to take his steak the moment she saw pink, and he's being brainwashed by her to do everything she wants him to.

[@CrookiNari]

Story 4: "AITA for parentifying my child?" Me: *sharp inhale* Like, if that accusation is being levied against you, it's not being done so lightly. Parentification absolutely fucks up children. One of the worst aspects I experienced was being turned into a replacement spouse for my father as I got older because he thinks my mum is too boring to have "deep" adult conversations with.

[@minagica]

Ouch, I am so sorry

[@ophilianecr]

That's the thing. Parentyfying is often confused with teaching kids responsibility and how to prepare for adulthood. Watching your siblings for 2 hours _once in a while_ isn't the same as raising them every day, or sharing parental responsibility equally. Or in your case, expectations of maturity in adult or serious conversation. When a 9yr old knows how to make dinner and care for small kids/babies and is "a little adult", that's parentyfying. Washing dishes and asking a teenager to make sure a child doesn't touch the stove, is just teaching responsibility and building work ethic, a sense of community and caring for family. Are parents also supposed to hire a babysitter when kids are playing in their rooms and mom's making dinner and dads outside mowing the lawn?

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

@@ophilianecr absolutely agree. I will ask my daughter to help her baby sister while playing outside-even though I’m right there with them. It’s just to teach her to be gentle and kind (which she already is). I’m not leaving them alone lol. There’s a huge lack of info in this story, though. Why does the daughter feel that way? Is op having her daughter babysit every day? Or be responsible for feeding and cleaning their sibling? Tbh, I think op is still YTA for so easily brushing off her daughter’s feelings. She should have asked why she felt that way, what she expects/wants to change. But just to be like “you don’t feel that way,” is awful. I think a lot of people focused on the parentifcation instead of the emotional neglect.

[@joanwinters5647]

@@ophilianecr also why is no one mentioning the dad saying to parent her child,,, wtf is he busy doing isnt it his child to

[@thecouchpotatocom]

Wow, I never realized that was part of it. My father always confided in me and didn't talk about deep subjects with mom. To be fair she hated any conversation that wasn't about a talk show or her favorite band. She's been a fan girl my whole life. I participated in all his favorite hobbies and we'd talk everyday about everything. I was also the 'tattle tale' reporting anything he would dislike. It was also my job to stop/correct my siblings if mom didn't step up. BUT I have to say, I grew into a strong responsible person and have healthy boundaries with my family.

[@stefanpalicki3538]

I think OP is innocent in story 2. Meat of the quality of A5 Wagyu is incredibly expensive and needs to be prepared properly, otherwise it's a waste of a lot of money, and a lot of time. The guest was being obnoxious by disregarding the menu that was sent out, saying the host of the party was, in effect, trying to poison them, making demands of somebody while in their house, I could go on. Then she gets up and tries to microwave a steak *that* expensive? I definitely think OP could've been a bit more tactful about everything, but I can definitely see how I could react like that in the heat of the moment, seeing hundreds of dollars and hours of work going to waste like that.

[@donniejefferson9554]

The girlfriend in story 2 is a monster. She's basically attempting to destroy a holy relic. Absolutely disgusting behavior from her. If anything, op was staying restrained

[@alphanerd2305]

Story 2: NTA. No one is going to insult an A5 Wagyu and by extension me, in my house no less, by demanding I turn it into something resembling shoe leather. If they want shoe leather, they can go to Denny's.

[@moogie1954]

There is no way in hell I would RUIN a Wagu steak by over cooking it! Many/most high end restaurants will refuse to cook their steaks to anything beyond a medium because it ruins a fine steak! There was plenty of other things for her to eat. A Wagu steak would be dry and not edible if cooked to medium or well done. It would be like offering someone a costly piece of fine, vintage jewelry and then having them want to melt it down for scrap! (by the way, Wagu steak served as "tartare" is heavenly!)

[@reallyisay]

Exactly..any decent cook will refuse to cook it too ..well done steak is burnt ruined awful..I order, medium well pink not bloody

[@Dragonemperess]

2: Normally id say ESH, but that is WAGYU STEAK! I'd understand being prissy about that of all steaks. I'm mad that the dogs got to it instead of me! XD I'll trade you a well done steak from a restaurant for that Wagyu. Best trade ever.

[@romonaelrod7870]

I totally agree with you. You don't overcook a fine quality steak like that. She had the opportunity beforehand to let the host know how she likes her steak cooked. He could have bought a much cheaper cut of meat for her. It's wasteful to cook Wagyu steak to death. She was a poor excuse for a guest. The host was a bit overboard too, but not nearly as bad as the young lady in this story.

[@karstenbursak8083]

@@romonaelrod7870 overcooking a steak like this is like killing the cow a 2nd time

[@deedeeschway9566]

@@romonaelrod7870 once she called OP an F’ing Ahole and tried to use the microwave, I’d say all bets are off. I would’ve just shoved her outside and tossed her purse and shoes after her.

[@kiwikiwi1586]

A5 wagyu is one of the best steaks you can get only around 5 restaurants in America have a license to sell it the cows are gives sake and treated better than most people and it can cost hundreds for one cut

[@codyking4006]

Story 2: Nta. The guest was warned and argued about something she didn’t know what she was talking about.

[@joeschmo622]

Steak-umms: Gotta give a NTA on this one. 120bux for a steak, PLUS all sorts of extra meats available, FOR FREE? Yeah, as a GUEST I'd eat it the chef's way and that's that. Same with wines, hard liquors, etc., a lot of the nuttier ones will make a big stink about the temperature of the drink, what "goes with" and what "clashes with" the taste, etc., so what's it hurt to just shut up and try it that way? Opie just didn't want that premium meat going to waste on some no-taste Visigoth. (And I'm not even that much of a meat-eater.) "Oh, premium bourbon that's 5kbux/bottle? Sure, just gimme some Coke and I'll pour it into that, 'cause that's the way I drink bourbon!" Yeah.... no. Wines, b33rs, cigars, hard liquors, and yeah, steaks, all the same. New gf was over the Big Top with the name-calling and trying to nuke it and otherwise just being an ass-clown. And it was an afterthought of a mention, but if notice went out well in advance that nothing's going over medium, and if you want well-done, "I'll get you some USDA prime" or whatever, Ms Ass-Clown should've opted for that. And it certainly sounds like Opie went all-out with the meal prep, trying to be a good host. I would've taken it in that spirit, but Ms Ass-Clown obviously didn't and wanted to be The Karen in this case. Mmmmbuh-bye, go get yourself a McBurger instead.

[@BDogGrizzly]

Story 2: Okay, think of this Steak as like it’s a *Ferrari* and the other steaks as a _VW_ or a _Ford._ That is what we are dealing with. So him telling everyone he is willing to buy and prepare a cheaper steak any way they like is basically making sure everyone gets what they want. She was basically trying to put cheap crap Gasoline in a Super Car. You *_DO NOT DO THAT!!!_* It is *_LITERALLY_* a *_GIANT WASTE OF MONEY!!!_*

[@bobot.chimpanzee8612]

Story 2: if someone requested this at a restaurant they'd be yelled at by the chef and told to leave.

[@BruinPhD2009]

My stepfather was a great cook. He stopped serving steak to friends because too many of them wanted steak well-done and he refused to ruin a good cut of meet that way. And trust me, he got good cuts, but not A5.

[@theresapaine7224]

If I ever dated someone who ate a steak well done, I will drop their a** immediately. Well done steak is a sin.

[@fcastle]

@@theresapaine7224 definitely a sign of poor character.😂

[@xxashlixx2011]

My dad has done many favors for many ppl and a judge gifted him some for his retirement.. ill never forget the taste.. its like nothing ull ever taste and hearing this story almost made me cry

[@dw146]

The OP in this story was way too nice. The minute she asked for an A5 steak to be well done at my house would have been the minute her time spent at my house was well done. I have only had the luxury of experiencing an A5 steak once in my lifetime. It was the most delicious steak I have ever eaten. As my dad used to always say “if you ask for a well done steak you might as well eat your belt because it’s pretty much the same thing.”

[@maheenahmed6653]

I think if I’m ever in the place to be able to buy and cook steak for loved ones, I’ll have some chicken for those who insist on well done

[@antipodias6672]

The steak was essentially the highest dollar cut of a prime head of cattle. I understand not wanting to absolutely wreck the best slice of meat she'll likely ever. Well done may as well be served shoe leather cause it can destroy a good cut.

[@gpulse94]

I’m vegetarian and know well done is a sin.

[@antipodias6672]

@@gpulse94 I've told my step dad many times

[@Steampunkkids]

Dislike my comment as much as you want, but I love burnt steak. I love my steak as dead as possible. The char in it makes it tastiest! But, as a host, your duty is to your guests. I would cook my steak medium or rare if my guest wants that. In this case, the host and guest acted childish.

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

In my country food is real low quality, especially meat, so it's normal for us to make everything Well-Done. If I saw pink meat here I would also flip out so I understand her reasoning.

[@antipodias6672]

@@lmnop6140 yeah that was like the one rule I didn't listen to during pregnancy but I made the caveat to have medium rare instead of blue rare though.

[@davidmahoney9877]

Story 2: I realize this is a hot take, but NTA. It's top grade Wagyu, literally the Bugatti Chiron of steak. Eating it is an event unto itself, not an add-on to an event. You gave her (really a guest of a guest, not a primary relationship to begin with) a generous number of other options and she decided to make a scene to put you in your place when you did something awesome for your friends. I'd have fed it to pets before I let somebody microwave it as well. Again, my little dudes would have actually appreciated it.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Chiron, not the Veyron?

[@crowdemon_archives]

Honestly I'd rather feed the wagyu to my chicken too 😂

[@mca7982]

I would not overcook wenyu steak in my own home! She would have been kicked out way before running to microwave.

[@dk9619]

She was yelling about the meat making everyone sick! Yes, awesome guest. I would be petty and pay the $25, sympathizing with their obvious financial woes

[@Dina-lc4bt]

OP should send a bill for the steak and an itemized list of the things he did to the steak, the time that it took, and the cost of his time and extra expenses.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1: Imma dust this 🔮 off and make a prediction: Kevin is going to cheat on her if he hasn't already.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Oh, most definitely.

[@gabrielmeth4844]

What manner of idiocy are you people? This subreddit brings out all of the worst hot takes and brainless people.

[@Cell287]

Let me see. You base this on the dad? Correct? Ever heard of sins of the Father? It’s placing blame on the child that is clearly done by the Father. You are placing his father’s personality onto him as it could be likely they aren’t the same.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@gabrielmeth4844 Exactly. Love how they also assume the mother couldn’t have done anything wrong, all because she was cheated on. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Horrible people get cheated on too.

[@Elleore]

Given that if you dig deep enough into the post, you’ll find the wife was getting verbally abused. People often become like those they admire so while I want to hope for the best, abuse tends to be a cycle unless caught and huge steps are taken, and there don’t seem to be

[@iyb304]

Story #2 NTA I feel like everyone keeps glossing over the fact that this is a 120$ work steak. It's high quality and expensive and probably not something OP gets to cook with often and while some people may like their steaks cooked all the way through, you just don't do that with a steak of this high quality cut. Also while OP was the host, they're house isn't a restaurant. No one can demand they prepare something any specific way because this is their house and they're not required to do so outside of someones food restrictions. And I'm sorry, but the girlfriend then getting up and trying to go cook the steak in the freaking microwave is literally the pettiest thing and also just really offensive to OP. OP put time and money into that steak, if the GF couldn't appreciate it for what it was then she could've eaten something else. A steak of that quality and cut is a delicacy and should be treated as such, if she wants to have a steak like that well done she can go and buy and cook it herself. I myself love to make Tuna steaks and I like to think I'm pretty decent at them, and all this story made me think about was the idea of someone demanding to fully cook a tuna steak I made for them instead of sear it. I probably would do something similar to what OP did today or just give it to someone else because Tuna steaks are expensive and you just don't cook them all the way through because then you lose a lot of what makes tuna steaks tuna steaks and I'm on a budget as is as a student. So if you're my guest and you try to ask me to ruin a perfectly good tuna steak, then yeah you're not getting any tuna steaks. Could have he been a bit more courteous? Possibly, but I really don't blame them for how they reacted to the situation. Though this sentiment may be hard for people to understand if they haven't had to prepare more expensive pieces of meat like this before. But anyways, NTA in my opinion

[@crowdemon_archives]

Fully cooked tuna sounds like a dry nightmare of a dish ngl

[@HelKat-bc6um]

About the steak story, I'm definitely going not the a-hole. It'd be different if he didn't supply a menu with offers for changes made ahead of time but I feel it's kinda like going to an S.O.s family home without supplying dietary needs before hand. Those are really expensive steaks and I agree with the op on the prep of them the girl was super rude and I'd back my host 100% at that point.

[@FrancisR420]

It was an offer to be left out

[@bgcorporation]

Story 2: You ask them politely yet firmly to leave. -Hank Hill.

[@zs1570]

Story 2: I nearly had a heart attack when he said she put it in the microwave. What abominable sacrilege.

[@StormyPeak]

But it's THEIR sacrilege. Her steak should have been cooked the way she desired it...she's the one eating it. The host was a complete asshole. And as a guest, there is nothing wrong in asking that a steak be cooked to her desired temp.

[@triwolfdelta737]

@@StormyPeak the issue is why she sucks too is that she was basically saying that he was poisoning them and making horrible comments about the person who cooked the food. Yes it was rude of op to do that stuff but so was the guess to say all that too. Its not a restaurant, its a party where everyone is your friend or at least should be kind to each other

[@StormyPeak]

@@triwolfdelta737 She isn't educated in food poisoning and meats. So, it's up to the host (Who in this case is an absolute food Nazi) to smooth things out. Instead of totally denying her a steak, which she absolutely wanted to eat. He just took her steak. What he should have done, was just understood she had a fear of rare meat, and cooked the fucking steak for her. And instead of a fight....while everyone was enjoying their steak, their could have been a short *conversation* about why rare steak is safe to eat and why many desire to eat it that way. In my opinion, she is confusing food poisoning issue between steak and hamburger. Hamburger by it's nature, in being ground, exposes all the meat to air-born contaminates - the interior of steaks are not, and in cooking, if there were anything on the surface of a steak it's more than likely going to be killed as soon as the outside of the meat is cooked. It might not change her opinion, but at least by cooking her steak the way she wanted, would have stopped the nuclear meltdown between both of them and the stupidity of fighting so fucking hard over a piece of food in front of a microwave. He invited friends over, and treated her like shit, in denying her a steak he already set aside for her to eat based solely upon HIS preference in cooking temp. That would be like telling someone at gathering that 'No, they can't have a cold wiener with catsup on their bun. That it had to be seared over a flame and MUST have mustard on it because that's the way the cook likes it.

[@Amber_the_Amazon]

@@StormyPeak the invitation stated if they wanted their meat cooked to a higher temperature that he’d get a different cut for the person and there were other options if she didn’t want the steak cooked to the temperature that’s needed for that cut of meat.

[@mrs.h2725]

Lol agreed but yeh, he was being a total diva about it. The only scenario that makes sense is if he personally raised the cow that meat came from. She’s a real peach though. Can’t imagine cursing at someone I just met who invited me to dinner at their home over a bloody steak.

[@Fake_gamer_cat]

NTA for me in the steak story. He sent out a menu way ahead of time and offered to pick up another steak that could handle those temperatures. He offered other alternatives to simwone who is essentially a stranger from the sounds of it. There's no reason to act like a jerk in someone elses home whos giving you a nice meal for free. Also, wagu is Hella expensive, OP was more than kind to give other alternatives and offer to pay for it out of pocket.

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 4:* I would say we need more info, but the fact that OP was downplaying what they subjected their oldest child to without ever specifying how exactly the child felt parentified is proof in itself that they are afraid the internet will agree with their daughter & is trying to twist the facts to get people on their side. Also, the fact that they have to "think about" sending their child to therapy? If your child and partner are wrong and she isn't being parentified, the therapist will tell her that and help her sort out her emotional issues regardless. I think you're afraid of what the therapist will do if she agrees... OP didn't even mention until the update that the youngest child was breaking all of her stuff and she wasn't replacing it! At least they started to see the light by the end, but it's upsetting that it took the entire internet ganging up on them despite them intentionally withholding crucial information to get them to that point.

[@NCAnon]

That's pretty sad. I'm focusing on the fact that OP didn't even think to believe their spouse when they pointed it out too and would rather have internet strangers weigh in on the situation

[@robertx8020]

@@NCAnon that happens so often ..ignore the advice from ppl around you but then when STRANGERS on the internet give you the same FFF advice? Oh wait NOW I have to do something!

[@KyrieChii]

@@robertx8020 I guess it's because (sometimes) random people who don't know you or your family seem less likely to have the 'rose colored glasses' view, 'denial' & the 'specific bias' that can come with having certain info or perceptions/opinions about something ahead of time. It's a double edged sword as there are positives & negatives to this.

[@robertx8020]

@@KyrieChii True But tbh sometimes ppl go to fast to the 'leave him/her' or just based on assumptions

[@KyrieChii]

@@robertx8020 Also very true. And there's a lot of hypocrisy based on gender, & some other really ridiculous 'PC' standards being misapplied to situations they shouldn't be applied to. (I know there is a time & place PC (politically correct) stuff is appropriate, but Reddit isn't great at figuring out when that is at times). Like I said, sometimes its negative & can result in a person whose done nothing wrong being shamed by a ton of people. I find it incredibly frustrating when someone gets bad feedback & acts upon it.

[@GoldChaosGir]

Story 2- Op is the NTA because as a chef myself. Steak supposed to be cook at medium rare to get the better taste and it's a disrespect to the Cook if you ask for your steak to be well done.

[@andreawalker8343]

Who cares? I’m an English teacher. Does that mean I get to demand only impeccable grammar be spoken at my house? Your profession doesn’t mean everyone has to abide exclusively by your standards.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@ArisenMind it’s a5 wagyu. It’s the best of the best. That’s like getting a classic car, and giving it a rattle can paint job

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@skeltonslay8er781 so? It would be their car

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@skeltonslay8er781 let them ruin it. You get more entertainment that way when it doesn’t go as planned

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@alexvalentine5091 no I wouldn’t

[@charimonfanboy]

I know multiple chefs who refuse to cook steak well done because they "know from experience that anyone crazy enough to order well done steak is crazy enough to tell everyone that the chef's steak is chewy and dry" and that can damage the business He definitely went too far, but the length he went to was dictated by the length the woman went to make a scene, so my judgement would be NTA. This wasn't a parent in a battle of wits with a toddler, this was a grown ass woman throwing a tantrum over one thing on her plate being cooked wrong with plenty of other stuff she could have instead and the host refusing to sully his craft.

[@aWywardWyvern]

Story 2: I was ready to say ESH until I found out there was actually a menu sent out significantly in advance mentioning the way the steak would be cooked and providing other options if that didn't suit a guests preference. So (presumably) that guest saw the menu and made the conscious decision to demand special treatment the day of instead of contacting OP. OP is very much NTA.

[@jr5557]

Exactly that edit changes the whole story. Hope you should have put that in there first

[@everdreamcosplay]

Story 2, I got to say ESH, bordering on NTA. I'm a vegetarian, but I live in the Midwest USA. Cooking that particular steak to Well Done borders on sacrilege. And I am not at all pretentious. But really, Wagyu?! Especially since he offered to buy another cut for anyone who wanted a more done steak.

[@potato-rp2bf]

Well done wagyu is dry as hell and ruined. If you want high quality meat don’t demand the cook ruin it if you’re not paying for it

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@melanellie_art yes, and his name is Hank Hill

[@everdreamcosplay]

@@melanellie_art if cooked that well done, you probably won't notice the difference between cuts of steak. The Wagyu would have been ruined. Kind of like painting over a work of art because you don't like the color. Eat something else if you don't want something offered, and there were plenty of choices. I'm a vegetarian and that's what I do.

[@FrancisR420]

@@potato-rp2bf they asked, and then went to do it themselves.

[@FrancisR420]

@@everdreamcosplay do you think someone who likes their steak cooked well-done and was worried about Bloody meat would have really been able to appreciate it if they got over themselves held their nose and choked it down?

[@larry9910]

For story 1 I don't care that she chose her job as a priority to care for her son my mom was someone who worked 3 jobs and made me and my brother feel like we were loved even when she was married to my dad who at the time was a druggy who was essentially just a person living under our roof for all he did at that time the "ohh she was trying to care for her son" BS doesn't fly with me especially since my mother is someone who has a prescription for 5 Norco's a day just to get through it without experiencing enough pain to want to blow her head off

[@rosarioanahikanashiro3271]

So you also verbally abuse your mother like the fiance?

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Story 1: his step dad kicked him out of the house. I understand that Kevin may have been being a smart ass but a step parent shouldn't get to make decisions like that. They all sound bonkers.

[@TheZMage]

I think it’s always telling when people have strong ideas as to what guests owe hosts and none of what hosts owe guests. Or vice-versa

[@banmeliodas6561]

I think they went to far if someone really wants their food cooked a certain way and it doesn't put you out it's whatever do it. But on the other hand I do understand being at least a little upset as getting an ingredient of that caliber is not an everyday or even once a year thing. So as a guest unless it's some dietary restriction you should try it as the chef cooks it at least before requesting to have it cooked further. As it is an insult to react like that and essentially tell the person who is cooking and have experience with the cooking similar dishes that they do not know what they are doing

[@Llama_Whisperer]

@@banmeliodas6561 If course it would have put him out! He had already prepared a fabulous meal, and was prepared to sit and enjoy it with his guests. Considering how much time he spent, I’m sure he didn’t want to spend more time cooking at that point. She was incredibly rude.

[@brandonchuong917]

Story 3: Personally, I believe that Disney land is more for adults or people who grew up with Disney and only go there to experience the memories they had when they were children. To think that Disney is only for "Children" is baffling, Disney is for everyone to enjoy. And besides, I bet those kids won't even remember a single thing that happened when they went.

[@minecraftmum3436]

While I 100% agree that Disney is for everyone, my son was 4 when he went to Disney in Florida and at 23 now he still vividly remembers much of what we did there as he loved it so much :D

[@brandonchuong917]

@@minecraftmum3436 Oh, now that’s good

[@amandab8433]

Exactly! My best friend and her husband are huge Disney fans. They go several times a year, their 20th wedding anniversary was a week at the Disney resort. They also are continuing their goal of visiting EVERY single Disney park around the world. I've never been, not my thing, but it's definitely NOT just for kids. My thing is to visit the world's library's, and independent bookstores. 😁

[@brandonchuong917]

@@amandab8433 That sounds very beautiful, may they be blessed with a happy life.

[@MsBELLE7]

Yeah my good friends husband proposed at Disney, they even got married at Disney. Also if Disney was only for kids then you couldn't get married there....

[@pokefire6]

Mark, A5 is the grade in quality in terms health of the cut in the meat industry with A5 being the highest. Wagyu is basically the classification of the region diet and fat distribution on the cow that has a very distinct flavor and compared to most other meats pretty much "melt" in your mouth when cooked "properly". Wagyu steak cuts of A5 are one of the most expensive and if it's completely authentic one of the rarest to get steaks in market. Like restaurants that get the non imitation stuff with good chefs are normally booked for months to sometimes years at a time which tells you how much it is coveted. So op does understand the value of the meat they got but is still an A-hole for how they acted and a heads up cause I tested what it's like to cook some meat for culinary experimentation. Wagyu really is one of the ones who does lose a lot of the positive flavors and texture on tongue appeal (general consensus) that are in almost (could be a way but more food experimentation needs to be done) no way replaceable by texture or additives such as sauces after medium. The guest though if they were given the menu in advanced is also wrong cause of how they behaved too. ESH. Also if you know your friends are food snobs, let your partners know and ask them not to let it bother them and if they are going to challenge someone not to do it at their house. Like etiquette people and people who haven't studied meat, if you don't know any words just use the internet.

[@MarkNarrations]

I'm learning a lot from the comments on these steaks. Thanks for sharing :)

[@GreenKnight1982]

For the op in the stake story, he is absolutely not the asshole! You do not cook a multi hundred dollar piece of meat till it's shoe-leather!

[@geminidawn7315]

Story 4. Did I miss something are is everyone ignoring the fact that the dad is just as responsible for raising the kids as the mom and could have stepped up to do some more parenting himself instead of telling the mom she should do more? I mean he was just as capable of hiring a baby sitter when they weren't home as she was and able help take care of them when they were home at home. Yes if she was alone with them at home she should be the one to take care of son but otherwise he was just as responsible for being a parent. If she had be a single parent that would be one thing but she's not.

[@glosaint-aime16]

Story 2: NTA, because he went in mesaage before the dinner, that if you wanted well done to let him know before hand!

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA Disney is not just a kids place ffs. They have a crazy night club scene in some. The sister is super entitled to think he should take her kids on the trip he's GOING TO PROPOSE. If the kids are upset, they need to be upset at mom for putting the expectation in their head. She needs to look in the mirror cause this is all her fault for her unreasonable beliefs and entitled behavior

[@SorenPenrose]

Epcot has beer from all around the world...ya know cuz kids love their booze

[@Maria-fq8rk]

not me screaming "it's A5 Waygu... JAIIILL" she was asking to commit a crime against a precious steak... no, that cow did not die to be well cooked.

[@Tyanna01]

Last story: I find it rich that the father feels that OP needs to parent *their* youngest more, and seemed to only have criticism for OP's parenting. I wonder if perhaps he leaves the childcare to her, as well as the mental load of running the household. Like, it's telling that the 15yo went to OP to say these things, to her supposed abuser, and not her father who apparently was also in the house at the time. The update is nice, but it sounds like OP's husband needs to step up more. Seems she's doing everything imho.

[@buggy8188]

that second story nearly killed me. i had to tell my dad who was in the food industry at the time and he was cringing the whole way through too

[@roxannejudd3575]

I'm a chef. NO WAY would I butcher a great cut of meat this way! I wouldn't do it at my restaurant.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

I’m pretty sure most restaurants would attack you for even requesting an a5 be made well done

[@crowdemon_archives]

​@@skeltonslay8er781 I expect choppers being flung in my general direction from the kitchen if I even dare to request for a well done wagyu steak, and honestly, that's fair. 😅

[@jjgonzalez7703]

Just came here to say sous vide (veed) is absolutely amazing! Especially when cooking steak. I wish i personally knew someone as obsessed with it as I am lol. And A5 wagyu???? Those are some special friends 😂

[@SorenPenrose]

Sous vide is overrated. Gotta have a sear on it.

[@jjgonzalez7703]

@@SorenPenrose how dare you! Lol I love it! I do agree with you though. The searing comes after

[@SorenPenrose]

@@jjgonzalez7703 oh yeah...I keep forgetting that searing doesn't have to be the first step.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@SorenPenrose I was gonna say can’t you sear it after

[@eliability]

Okay wait on story 1 ESH But like, it seriously depends on the kind of people they were in Kevin’s past. My mom was a single mom for a short while and she wasn’t a great mom My stepdad came along, they’re *both* bad parents. Ive gotten called spoiled and ungrateful when I’ve done my damn best to help with my family. OP should’ve let her husband handle it. Lucy isn’t completely out of the blame. They sent him away to his dad. Seriously. I still lean more on NTA because she’s mostly doing what her husband wants and clearly cares about his feelings. And where’s the “it’s your wedding do what you want” crowd at?

[@prcervi]

his parents had a disaster of a divorce and yet his mom is surprised that he started being a bratty teen? they're all bratty teens at that age, his words just came with bonus jabbing points about the divorce. and then his mom remarried within a year, so hubby was looking at his parents divorcing, his mom being to busy to interact with him much, his mom starting to date again, and his mom getting married all in a year-ish timespan... and they don't get why he might've been taking it poorly? i don't know who gets the idiot crown, this is all way to strong a competition

[@direwolf8703]

I disagree that she should have stayed out of a decision about HER WEDDING, anyone saying who is invited to her wedding is none of her business is just stupid it's obviously her business.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

That whole comments section automatically assumed the father was a monster because he cheated and the mother was a saint. Horrible people get cheated on and cheaters aren’t automatically bad parents. They lost their damn minds on that one. Great point about them suddenly not being able to include who they want at their wedding. I guess shipping the kid off to the dad means nothing to the Righteous Reddit gang.

[@Elleore]

If you dig deep enough, you’ll find the kid was parroting his fathers verbal abuse- I wouldn’t say what the kid said to my worst enemy, much less my mother.

[@BrokensoulRider]

@@Elleore Depends. Believe it or not, from 0 to about 21 - 25 we humans are 80 - 100% emotions, 0 - 20% control of said emotions. With the obvious household marital issues there's most likely more to the story than what we were told already. Example: why did the father cheat, why did the mother marry within 1 year of divorce (which does fuck heavily with children)? There's a lot more issues here than meets the eye.

[@rachlangl787]

You literally can't cook wagyu steak well done. It will be ruined. Wagyu steak is way different than normal steak.

[@johnrobinson6449]

Mark, sous vide is pronounced suu veed. :-) Ok... A5 Wagyu... A5 is the top rating of Wagyu beef. It is expensive. It is difficult to obtain. A5 Wagyu beef has intramuscular fat marbling that so far exceeds the level of intramuscular marbling in USDA Prime that they aren't even comparable. And REMEMBER, USDA Prime (or its European counterpart in rating quality) is typically the "high-end" cut offered by most steakhouses around the world. As he stated, there were 10 at the party and ONE steak cost $120. That's a $1200 investment for ONLY the ten steaks. As the OP wrote in his update, he specifically and ahead of time, let his guests know that if they wanted their steaks cooked more done than medium to contact him and he would obtain for that guest a USDA "Prime" rated steak of the same cut. Most high-end restaurants offer "USDA Prime" steaks. Very few restaurants even offer Wagyu, let alone A5 Wagyu. Because the OP offered (ahead of time) the option for any guest that wanted a well-done steak to request it, I'm sorry, but I fully understand why he would totally refuse to incinerate a $120 steak because some idiot thinks that "meat that is red or pink inside is poison." I also understand why he would fight to keep it from being turned into a hockey puck in the microwave. I am guessing that the reason (ex) friend and his dingbat girlfriend have blocked every guest at the party is because the other guests have given those two nary a bit of support for their actions. To all of those claiming that it's a host's duty to cook a steak to their guest's liking, the OP PREVIOUSLY OFFERED A USDA PRIME STEAK FOR HER INCINERATED ENJOYMENT! P.S. Why would the (ex) friend and his gf need to block anybody? After all... all those guests ate poison red meat... shouldn't they all be DEAD? ;-P

[@MarkNarrations]

Thank you for the pronunciation and thanks for the explanation about the steaks. I'm deffo going to look into these, sounds like another world :)

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

OP sent a menu IN ADVANCE and told people if they wanted their steak cooked to a higher degree to let him know and he would oblige by getting a different cut of meet and doing so. The steak he had made for her could have been saved for OP to have later on his own and she could have gotten a steak to her liking that isn’t valued at over $100. Putting steak in a microwave won’t do anything but make it TOUGH so she would have wasted a whole steak for no reason other than her boyfriend decided to ignore the menu op sent before and he values his few month old girlfriend over his friendships. Good luck with that.

[@sarahbauer5593]

I spent my 25th wedding anniversary at Disney in Florida. I must have been a terrible parent as I left my 16 tear old and 11 year old home with my in laws. We had a great time and took the kids a year later. They each had been there on school trips and thought they had more fun on their previous trips than with us old folks.

[@onmike7944]

If you don’t like raw fish, you don’t eat sushi. The same goes for A5 Waigu steak. If you don’t like pink steak, find something else to eat.

[@DindellaTheDefender]

Story 2: ESH, because that sort of expensive meat is a real treat… so she should have told you ahead of time, so you could have that steak for yourself and give her something she would eat (for a cheaper price). Doing that sort of cut well done turns it into the same quality as a regular steak.

[@thedestroyasystem]

NTA from me. OP gave her numerous options beforehand and during the dinner. Instead of taking any of said options she insulted OP and invaded his kitchen to cook already prepared food because it wasn’t good enough for her. The entitledness radiating off her negates any possible assholery on OP’s part IMO.

[@dragonking1348]

If someone has that quality of meat at that steal of a price, I say if you don’t want to eat it at the most medium, get out. I work as a chef and while I do cook regular steaks to well done, a waygu A5 steak? No I would sooner feed it to my dog then cook it well done.

[@DindellaTheDefender]

@@thedestroyasystem , while her behavior was inappropriate, we also don’t know for certain that the boyfriend passed on said information to her. It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but if he knows that she has food anxiety (which it sounds like she does) then the boyfriend put her in this position where she feels left out and the hostility that OP responded with to her concerns probably made her feel vulnerable. (Again, doesn’t make her behavior acceptable) However, again, OP was hostile and didn’t try to de-escalate the situation. He could’ve chosen to remind her that these were expensive steaks and he let everyone invited know if they wanted their steaks not red/pink on the inside to let him know ahead of time, so he could get them steak specifically for them that he was willing to purchase. Instead he chose to single her out and tell her to just eat something else (not even considering that maybe she’s unable to eat the other dished prepared, not everyone wants to disclose that they have a medical condition or religious belief the first time they meet someone unless absolutely necessary), and escalate the fight further. The entire conflict was completely unnecessary from both sides. Ofc, people are human. We react without thinking, especially when tired, stressed, vulnerable, ect. I don’t think OP is a bad person for contributing to the assholery of the situation, especially since she was out of line regardless of what was going on with her. And maybe his attempts at diplomacy would have failed regardless, we can’t know that it wouldn’t have worked. However, OP contributed to the situation escalating as quickly and intensely as it did. Also, the boyfriend should have tried to de-esculate the situation himself when it was clear his partner was disrespecting OP in his own home. In my book, that makes it ESH.

[@DindellaTheDefender]

@@dragonking1348 , not a chef, but I sometimes enjoy watching various cooks on KZbin and other channels involving food to learn more about food. I don’t know much, but I do know that meat that good is a) hella expensive, b) expensive for a realllllyyy good reason, and c) not something you should ever, ever cook until the pink is gone-because it takes all of the richness right out of the meat! I can’t handle bloody meat, although my tolerance is getting gradually better over time, but I can say with absolute certainty that anyone who loves blue steak or close to blue steak would be in heaven with a slab of meat like that. A scrub like me could only dream of a steak so tender.

[@robertx8020]

@@DindellaTheDefender I agree and you can always eat something else ...as there were plenty of options! What if the GF didn't like fish and wanted OP to remove the fish from ther table? Shoul;d she comply because 'guest request' ?

[@juliamiller2299]

Mark, it's sacrilege to cook a high-quality steak to anything more than medium rare. OP should have grabbed a burger out of the freezer and cooked it brown for her.

[@heyho203]

Steak well done? Let me show you our exit. It's like putting caviar in a blender. Some people... If you are culinary pig, choose food you are familiar with and don't ruin an expensive cut just by overcooking it

[@tintinismybelgian]

The whole dinner that OP made, not even counting the steak, sounds like a lot of work. The guest showed that she was unappreciative through her actions.

[@yobabycolin2933]

Story 3: Mickey: No hot dogs for your kids auntie.

[@SuperBatSpider]

Story 4:Should have told her you’ll only take her if she pays every cent of what they ask to buy. NTA.

[@Icalasari]

It's like wearing expensive dress shoes to muck through mud It's like taking expensive paints for a toddler to fingerpaint with It's like driving an expensive race car down dirt roads I'm with OP on Story 2 - I'd be fucking _insulted_ if somebody had a chance to ask in advanced. If I was hosting an art party but forgot to tell people to let me know in advanced if they are bringing kids or are a beginner, then I'd accept I fucked up and let them use my quality paints that cost hundreds But if I gave them advanced notice to let me know, then they show up and are all, "It's just paint, nobody cares, the crayola paints are just as good as your $100+ per bottle of paint", I'd be _furious_

[@fufufuaru]

wow talk about an ungrateful, entitled guest. glad the dogs enjoyed the steak lol

[@SorenPenrose]

My aunt's Rottweiler is my bestest good buddy because every time I cook steak for them I slip him some throughout the night. Dogs deserve nice things, too.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

Story 4: I was raised like that, except I was caring for 3 younger siblings as well as my bedbound mom. I was "homeschooled" in a fundamentalist religion, and was told that the only role I can have in life is being a housewife and mother. Good on OP for researching and being willing to admit she was wrong and work to fix it. That is a rarity from my experience.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 4 YTA! The daughter is so much more mature than OP. She put verbs in her sentences and explained that she felt she was a victim of parentification. You need to be a parent. Even your husband tells you need to be a parent. Do better!

[@KittenUndercover]

It sounds like she is doing better with that update

[@insideAdirtyMind]

I wonder what the father is doing....if the daughter is parenting so much, he is also not involved....

[@direwolf8703]

honestly it sounds like she found a term on the internet and used mental gymnastics to make her situation fit It's an ESH for me. Having to babysit your younger sibling and share your toys is being and older sibling, being forced to cook for your younger sibling because if you don't no one will is parentification. OP sucks for wanting to avoid therapy

[@paigemosher8697]

@@direwolf8703 Yeah, no. You just like accusing people of doing that because they're willing to do proper research and stand up for themselves. You're the one still trying to justify this, so it's laughable that you think you have any say in what qualifies as mental gymnastics.

[@direwolf8703]

@@paigemosher8697 what proper research? you found out what parentification is? good for you what based off the story what proved beyond a shadow of doubt that she was being parentified? oh that's right she had to watch her younger sibling and shared her toys. Nothing shows anything more than being forced to share and having to watch her younger sibling. Parentification is forcing a child to be a parent not share toys. does she have to cook every meal for her younger sibling? not mentioned in the story. Is she left alone for days being the only one to take care of her sibling? Again not mentioned in the story. So based off a teens internet research and "woe is me I'm not getting exactly what I want when I want it so my life is over" mentality and not an actual diagnosis that she was being abused. Who is using mental gymnastics me the person using all the information given and not adding more to it or you making assumption after assumption based on thin air and not fact?

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

10:46 it’s a waste of money Mark! OP offered to get a cut of steak _weeks_ before if someone needed well done! The ESH and YTA is truly ignoring that OP had a work around for this! OP paid for this steak! She would probably get laughed out of a steakhouse! And the guest wasn’t denied food! There were so many other options! The friend could’ve told OP to run and get a cheaper steak!

[@badkitty4922]

This is what I found on Japanese Wagyu A5 Steak: it's the finest/highest grade of Japanese steak due to genetics, cut, fat content, aging, and a few other things. A5 is the highest rating, therefore highest price and quality. If I've missed something, I hope someone else can clear things up.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

That sums it up

[@missNekolover91]

this is why Mark should look up stuff before saying that they are the AH

[@MrBlackiechan23]

A5 WAGYU can cost hundreds if noth thousands of dollars a steak, anyone serious about cooking wouldnt ruin it.

[@CatAstridphe]

Story 2: I was about to say YTA, but that bit at the end where OP said they went out of their way weeks in advanced to offer and specifically mention a cheaper option for those that want it well done makes it an Everyone Sucks Here. OP could have handled it much better, they were very rude even though in the right. The terms of the menu were clear. Ignoring a hosts carefully planned and prepared and announced specialty is also an asshole move. If they didn't want a cheaper cut on OP they should have offered to pay the difference or brought their own for OP to cook. It is a bit obnoxious of OP not to just cook it more, but until recently I also preferred mine well done and I know how people get about it. With that much advanced notice it's not worth the fight. I might have also requested OP cut of a small portion of the already cooked bit to make well done so I could still try it without "ruining" the whole thing.

[@dianaphillips8038]

Proposal at Disney, should tell his niece and nephew, “their mom really wants to take them instead of you” and shift the issue right back on mom.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

Story 2: The edit does it for me. That wasn't just any steak. That was A5 wagyu cooked with all bells and whistles to make it the best steak you can get. If you want your steak well done instead _you don't eat A5 wagyu sous vide. That's_ pretentious. At that point the steak is dead and you are only eating wagyu to say you have eaten wagyu, with almost all of the value of that meat going to waste, because you could just cook any decent steak and have virtually the same result. Sure, at the end of the day the friend's gf was supposed to eat the steak, and you could make the case that she can have _her_ steak any way she wants, but you could say something very similar if someone had gifted her a finely stitched and monogrammed silken handkerchief and she commented something along the lines of "Yeah, I guess I could wipe my arse with that." and expected the host to do that for her and then not to intervene when she started going ahead with it on her own right then and there. That's the level of disrespect we are talking here. Going by her comments about someone getting ill I suspect the friend's gf was just terminally clueless and didn't _mean_ that level of disrespect, but if OP even offers to buy other steaks for those who want their steaks prepared in a way that amounts to wasting the wagyu she is without excuse for her behaviour. And since she dared go anywhere _near_ a microwave with the steak I'd say OP was absolutely correct when he said the dogs appreciated it more. OP wasn't exactly _nice_ here, except for the part where he invited his friends to a feast in the first place, but given those circumstances I can't blame him for losing his cool. NTA.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: ESH While I get that it's a fine cut of meat and cooking it through to leather is a waste, let her fuck up her own steak, give her a side eye and keep the night moving. Getting into a fight over it takes the fun out of the night for everyone. Next time don't invite them. Oh and call out the boyfriend for bringing her to your party without letting him know she wants her steak cooked through so you don't waste $120 piece of meat.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! I hope all is still well and I wish you a great night!!! Much love!

[@MarkNarrations]

All is good Chulu and you?

[@jellyriq]

Story 2, can you even cook wagyu that much? I don't think you can lol. Op, nta for not destroying the steak, but yta for grabbing her like that.

[@crem-crem4070]

Wagyu is some of the highest quality beef in existence and the concept of it being ruined does upset me to a degree, but not to a ‘pull it out of someone else’s hands’ level

[@crowdemon_archives]

It's definitely up there in my "blacklist from invitation to any events including steaks" level alright.

[@raptoress6131]

Story 2: I'm vegetarian, and I know not f with a wagyu steak. Have you seen those steaks? They look like marble and cost a fortune.

[@karimuffin]

Story 1: ESH. Including Lucy. Teenagers are absolute garbage to their parents, and while actions have consequences, you don't abandon you freaking child! Yeah, I understand that he was disrespectful, but he was a dumb teenager and he clearly didn't learn anything from his "punishment." Literally every single person in this dang story is terrible and petty. (But at least spouses are backing up their partners?) Story 2: You know what? NTA. Considering the sheer volume of prep the OP put into everything, the guest could have easily picked something else to eat or have RSVPed about her steak choices. She shouldn't have tried to cook her steak in a microwave either. Ick. And the fact that the friend and girlfriend escalated everything and blocked everyone is ridiculous. Even if OP was a bad host for not catering to a stranger's whims, being blocked is a little extreme.

[@megaman37456]

Story 1: Exactly! Lucy let her NEW husband take her teenage son over to her Ex's because he talked back?! She's clearly not fit for parenthood, honestly nobody in this situation is, but I feel OP has a #JustifiedAsshole here because abandoning your kid to your Ex over some back talk instead of grounding them is bad parenting.

[@Elleore]

Story 1: you should look up the post- what he said at 13 was straight up verbal abuse, to a woman who got enough of that crap from her husband. I don’t know the full story but given that we have an unreliable narrator I’m inclined to give Lucy the benefit of the doubt.

[@AndreNDP]

@@Elleore And he was also fucking 13 years old. Grow the fuck up. Teenagers say messed up shit all the time, I'm sure you did too. It's not justification for what he did. And at the end of the day? It's HIS wedding. HE's entitled to invite or not invite whoever he wants.

[@alexiam5508]

@@AndreNDP no need to be rude...

[@AndreNDP]

@@alexiam5508 Yeah, there is need. Sometimes people just don't get it. This is among those times. Fuck Lucy, fuck Mark, and fuck the mob taking their side because "wah cheater bad". You don't know the story, you don't know the situation. You know he hates his mom but begrudgingly invited her and doesn't want her husband there. If she wants to miss a wedding over that, the hell with her.

[@TennantJunkie1993]

Ding ding ding! As one commenter pointed out, wagyu is a highly expensive meat and is to be handled with care. Otherwise, overcooking it will turn it into, as Gordon Ramsay once said, Ghandi's flip-flop. Dry, too tough to cut into. Just nasty.

[@RinnosukeETQW]

Story 2, the only place he went wrong was not following the gospel of Hank, if you ask for it well done you get politely asked to leave.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 3: honestly you have to be such a Karen to gate keep an amusement park. Disney is not just for kids and adults are plenty allowed to go there without children. Also talk about emotional blackmail telling the kids OP is going to Disney but they’re not allowed to go to make the kids upset so they go to OP and start whining about why they’re not allowed to go to Disney to put OP on the spot so they feel bad enough to give into a Karen one and takes the kids. That is absolute BS.

[@kellypatterson8506]

Mark a 5 wag U is the top rated steak on the planet

[@coolsmcfrosty2741]

Im gonna say NTA for the steak story. That guy was preparing a fancy meal for his guests and went so far as to have a MENU beforehand. Her doing that insulted his ability to cook a steak safely and would have wasted a LOT of money that was spent on a very, very high quality piece of meat. She could have had any other food he had. It's like going to a high grade sushi restaurant and slathering it with ketchup. It's just rude.

[@MisaoMeowchan]

With the steak one. I 100% agree with the cook, if you want boot leather that's fine but I ain't cooking you my good steak into boot leather, you can have the shit steak and I will save the good steak for a later date or if someone wants seconds.

[@muhname6052]

Story2: op is not beholden to cooking his food to other peoples tastes. It was his home. His food. His time cooking. Would it have been nice? Yes. He didn't have to. Also there was other food.

[@dsm4462]

I live in Florida and I’ve lost count how many times I’ve been to Disney. It’s for everyone! Hubby and I don’t have kids. We love Disney

[@sansskeleton199]

Who the fuck tries to microwave a steak not saying there right but not the microwave lol

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: It’s like buffalo burgers vs beef burgers. A well done beef patty is juicy, a well done buffalo patty is dry as heck. I don’t know much about steaks, but I’d think OP knows how to cook those steaks and how not to cook those steaks. He even told them exactly what the meal plan was months in advance and that upon request, he could get a steak that could be cooked well done. She didn’t. What OP needed to do was cook it to well done, and if it was dry as heck

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Disney story: sister-in-law is the AH. you don’t have to explain yourself for refusing to take the kids say it’s on principle alone.

[@kellypatterson8506]

If it was just a casual vacation to Disney I would probably take the kids but With this being a vacation for a proposal for marriage you know there's gonna be a lot of adult activities afterwards. John no not the butthead

[@suchfrecks3110]

I feel like a big chunk of story 4 is missing- when did she mention what the daughter does? When did she discuss him breaking her things, she was homeschooling when the option to go to in person school? So she could look after the kid? It wasn’t a long update but there’s references to it being long..

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 is just absolutely yikes. Steak and burgers are so much better medium well or under than well done. But, guests can request things done to their liking. He hated the new gf from the start. But, she was absolutely horrible. I don't know what my judgment is. Just a 💩show WTF. Definitely do not pay the invoice though.

[@TheTony282]

This is true for most steaks, waygu is a different story. The cows themselves are specifically bred and raised to produce steaks that are optimal at medium rare to medium because of the fat marbling. The process is so complex that the steaks are normally priced between $200-$600 that's why the OP offered to get a sirloin for anyone wanting a well-done steaks because it tolerates higher temperature cooking much better.

[@SorenPenrose]

I usually stand beside the grill with my cousin's husband on the other side. He'll just toss my steak over the grill to me. That's the best.

[@ruane211]

I seen videos of people ordering a5 at restaurants and they either get asked to leave or the cooks will ignore the doneness requested and not go past medium.