r/AITA for Getting My Mother-in-Law Arrested?

[@DestinyObake]

As someone from a religious community it pisses me off when people think it’s okay to judge others “sins” just because they’re Christians. As if half those people hadn’t had affairs, considering their reactions. Just- ugh. She’s right to lose faith in that church, no one even bothered to help her. Ditch them all, girl, your brother is the only mvp here.

[@Warrickomega]

They don't actually care. All they want is control. The religious folks forget what their religion is ACTUALLY ABOUT.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

I agree! I come from a strong Italian Roman Catholic background and they're full of nothing but hypocrites. I'm not saying all Catholics are like that, I'm just saying that my paternal side of a family are very poor examples of the Catholic teachings they were taught since birth. The family is full of drunken, pill popping, drug abusing, wife abusing philanderers that have a lot of kids out of wedlock. Not to mention a ton of divorce. I remember I pissed off my grandmother asking if the family's marriage counselor was Elizabeth Taylor.

[@crystalnolan2747]

That's the most open-minded thing I've ever heard from a Christian. Well said. I grew up in a very religious community and surrounding area, but wish my family could have had half your sense.

[@agentmaryland1239]

Doesn't the book say that it's not our place to judge others for their sins? That it is the job of God to decide if someone is too far gone to redeem? I think a lot of 'religious' people are paraphrasing the book they swear they live by.

[@melaniehoran8529]

Those without sin throw the 1st stone or something. Not 1 sin is “worse” than another a sin is a sin.

[@wilhelmmamma2011]

Her offer to carry her own daughter down proves she wants to be the flower girl as a grown ass adult and is using her child as an excuse.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Just imagine as the child grows all her accomplishments will be theirs since she is their miracle.

[@RhinoBarbarian]

I mean, nothing wrong with an adult flower girl. Saw a wedding before where the two grandmas of the bride and groom were the flower girls. But yes, she was totally in the wrong here.

[@ThingMaBobJimmy]

​@RhinoBarbarian I actually love this. It's so sweet!

[@peterhobson3262]

I don't think SIL wants to be the flower girl, she just wants her baby to be the center of attention because she's a miracle child. However I suspect the kid will grow up to be a real brat because she'll be overly spoiled by her devoted parents.

[@RhinoBarbarian]

@@Spanu96 So if I am reading this correctly, you are saying that biological children/relatives are more important than step-children. That is absolute bull!

[@wargamesmaster]

At 7 I already confessed my love to 3 different girls and gave a valentine card to a nun I liked, a kid can't possibly be serious with this type of things. The husband is insane.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Insane is the right word

[@populatoris]

@@Glis54 what are you talking about dawg 😭 priests are catholic not pastors

[@Nerobyrne]

there's a reason we say "kids can't consent" ^^

[@cliffdweller990]

Player 😂

[@TerranosaurRex]

​@@Glis54 OH MY GOD- THAT IS TERRIBLE!

[@smorphous8928]

4th story: It’s not rare for a baby to look different from his/her parents, it’s actually quite common but what isn’t common is how everyone attacked Op as soon as they saw the child, they didn’t do any DNA test, they just automatically accused Op of cheating, good thing Op walked out of that relationship.

[@swisshakilla]

I don’t think you are qualified to make that statement, I believe a very high percentage of situations like this end with the mother being accused of cheating, as that is the primary explanation for a child that does not resemble the father.

[@bladerunner3314]

They are christians, divorced from reality, you think they know frakk all about genetics?

[@bladerunner3314]

@@swisshakilla Heed your own advice and keep your ignorance to yourself.

[@everyonesfavoritegin]

Also red hair is a recessive gene not a dominant gene so the dark hair was the dominant gene

[@1964Puddles]

I have a niece that was born with jet-black hair that fell out a couple months later and turned bright blonde. Neither parent had black hair, nor relatives.

[@cmhsky]

I think r/’s vacation did wonders for him. Even when he's talking about someone being the A you can hear the smile in his voice. Gotta remember to take time for yourself bro

[@WraythSkitzofrenik]

Right? I can hear the energy!

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

Story 2: OP's mum and step dad: punishes OP for not calling the step dad "Dad" OP: moves out at 18 and refuses to help step dad OP's mum and step dad (and other relatives ignorant to the abuse OP went through): surprised Pikachu face NTA

[@BadassHater1]

Seriously - what in blue blazes did these clowns expected to happen?

[@Warrickomega]

I mostly agree here. At the point her mother got to .. yeah. She was right to .. it's still never good to have to sever familial connections.

[@BadassHater1]

@@Warrickomega If this family treats you like dirt unless they want something from you - is that really a family? Especially one worth keeping connections with? No. I think not.

[@Warrickomega]

@@BadassHater1 You're tragically right. I suppose the saying 'Family is more than blood' comes to play there.

[@kranberry3318]

@@Warrickomega Every kid deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a kid. OP deserved a better family and the family didn’t deserve OP.

[@sammythecat2072]

I was a flower girl at a wedding when i was two. I remember nothing about it, but i look super pissed off in the photos because i was tired. OP in story 1 should definitely stand her ground.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

My sister was three, fell asleep in the limo, refused to wake up, and mum had to carry her down the aisle _screaming._ I'm not sure she remembers it, but she remembers the dress being a pretty yellow.

[@bellelelelelele4002]

same, i was a flower girl for my mom and stepdad's wedding when i was 2 and i literally had to change clothes because the dress made me uncomfortable

[@anndownsouth5070]

You are probably right. A friend's daughter was about 4 and was a flower girl for someone's wedding, and she looked like a little thundercloud on the photos because she was tired and had to not have her afternoon nap and had to sit for her hair to be done.

[@queenofputrescence5167]

My daughter was a flower girl at 20 months. She looked adorable and fortunately performed her job well. But then I ended up spending the entire ceremony in the nursery because I didn't feel like she was old enough to be quiet in the ceremony. Then we ended up driving super slowly to the reception because of course the wedding fell during her nap time and we wanted her to get some sleep at least. I didn't mind her being the flower girl at all, but it's definitely not something I would have pursued if we hadn't been asked. It would have been so much easier if she had been at home with my parents while we were spending the day at the wedding.

[@j.c.2240]

I was about a year old at my parents' wedding. I don't remember it, and only know what I've been told. I think I walked mom down the aisle?

[@Richard_Nickerson]

If you don't treat someone like family, then you can't use the "but we're family" line. Period. Sick of these hypocritical a-holes thinking they can treat family however they want, but expect everything in return.

[@dudeorduuude5211]

At the same time, OP is also acting like a child, just saying no because as a 4 year old she wasn't allowed to say no. I don't 100% trust their perspective, I would need more info. Fine to say no, but OP needs therapy, as the way they describes the situation I can't tell what is the perspective of their inner 4 year old and what is current.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

@@dudeorduuude5211 It's not just that she said 'no' it's that she got punished whenever she did. She was forced over and over to basically lie and if she didn't, she got in trouble only to be treated poorly by the man she was forced to call "dad"

[@survivedandthriving]

@@dudeorduuude5211 Being an enabler is never a good look...

[@peterhobson3262]

@@dudeorduuude5211 Therapy for what? OP was forced to do something she didn't want to do and punished when she didn't do it. I can understand therapy for recovery from abusive mother and stepfather, but OP is NOT acting like a child. You need to stop enabling abusive parents.

[@bragnir]

Thing with the "we're family!" line is- it's not for the person asking for a favor to use. It's for the person deciding to do a favor to use.

[@nate4353]

I got married a few months ago, and our flower girl is our 2-year-old niece. We didn't expect much from her cause you know, she's 2. We asked her mom to carry her. When the ceremony came, the flower girl was passed out. It was super adorable and funny, but I can understand why OP from the first story wouldn't want a 2 year old in that position.

[@TheSaxAppeal]

Yeah you should always stand by your kids. Even when they mess up in life, the goal is to guide them to a better path, not berate them and belittle them until they don't feel like a person anymore. How is it possible in this timeline or any other timeline for OP to be an ass for...supporting their daughter?

[@YinYangAngel55]

Story 4: not being threatening? They forced their way into your home and would not leave. Short of swinging a frying pan what else was she supposed to do?

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

Seriously. My favorite part is the priest called it "her husband's lapse in judgement." What about the rest of them? They lynched her for the first month after she birthed their child. Another poster said that the priest is getting involved because if OP forgives, it will be like it never happened. Now this whole community has to face the consequences of their "lapse in judgement." And how DARE that priest say she will go to hell if she doesn't forgive him. They didn't let her slide, so are they going to hell, too??

[@everyonesfavoritegin]

Don't forget they all bore false witness against her for adultery.

[@FishAnvil]

Imagine getting a step mom and the first thing she does to celebrate is break a promise she made to you. Talk about a bad taste. Good on OP for sticking up for her step-daughter! Also I can clearly imagine the niece growing up either to be an entitled narcissist or be forced to give up her childhood because her parents want to live vicariously through her.

[@Kintsugi23]

Oh that kid is going to be spoiled as fuck.

[@Black-pq2iw]

Agree. I'm sad for that kid... Her parents are gonna nuke her life if they don't do some work on themselves.

[@RobPryme]

1st story: not the bad guy. OP and her fiance are forming a new family, and that's where her priority lies now.

[@vickymc9695]

Yep OP has a step daughter, obviously their daughter, comes before the niece.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@vickymc9695 and where are the people who complain to OP about her brother and SILs ongoing issues about niece? How about they step up as well and tell them to mellow out?

[@linpittsburgh2375]

It’s honestly wild to me that anyone could think a six year old girl would understand being bumped from the flower girl role. She would be mad about that until she’s NINETY.

[@ReigoVassal]

If anything, the step daughter have higher priority to be the flower girl.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@ReigoVassal exactly! On another matter on the story I think it’s odd that OPs parents say they staying out of it yet suggest to OP to tell the stepdaughter to bow out of being the flower girl. No OP. They’ve picked their side.

[@danielbrant6740]

*4th Story:* Can we just take a moment to realize that OP said that her brother was the _only_ person who was supportive to her? Does that mean even _OP's parents_ initially accused their own daughter of infidelity without proof? Good lord, OP's own family (barring "Alex") are just as awful!

[@CompleteBoredom733]

Well it’s also possible her parents are dead or otherwise out of the picture

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@CompleteBoredom733 I think OP would’ve mentioned it. Sounds like this is cult level religion

[@dudeorduuude5211]

Ya, but it was a logical conclusion, since neither parent has that colour of hair. The church needs to butt out. And everyone needs to calm down.

[@RiveroftheWither]

And this is why you should never listen to anyone when they talk about "basic biology". Actual proper biology is complicated as hell and what we're taught in highschool is dumb little baby science. Saying this as someone who grew up with "must be the mail man's kid" jokes because both my parents are brunette and I'm blonde.

[@aparnarai3708]

​@@RiveroftheWitherI can't say much considering my biology book(of class 10th) illustrated two female rabits giving a baby just to ask a question about Mendel's Law of Dominance and X linked inheritance

[@itscrystaleyes]

What's really alarming about Story 1 is that if the SIL and Brother are already acting this entitled to their child being the center of attention at all times, what's going to happen if OP has her own kid after marriage? I see many, many more family arguments to come once there's a younger baby at events.

[@foremanhaste5464]

Even before that and if the flower girl drama never happened, do you think SIL was going to be chill about two *'step-kids'* stealing spotlight from her miracle child? This flower girl drama is just the first chapter of an epic EM saga.

[@kimhohlmayer7018]

7 year old girl “cheating” on her boyfriend was hilarious. It was a teachable moment as you said, Dabney. If she were 17, I would talk to her about her honesty/lack there of. I would finish with the quote from a friend’s mom, “If you burn your butt, you have to sit on the blisters.” Good advice in the 1970s and still good advice today. Consequences over judging children.

[@hedonismbot1508]

The degree to which it even qualifies as a teachable moment is highly questionable - expecting a seven year old child to maintain an exclusive relationship is 100% pants-on-head insane.

[@Janjones7735]

It’s not a teachable moment for anyone but the husband. He’s suggesting she’s this boy’s property. Ick. The daughter did nothing wrong. Nothing. To suggest girls aren’t allowed to have more than one male friend is bizarre (not necessarily relating this to your comment just a thing that annoys me lol).

[@MinusTheCoffee]

@@Janjones7735 who said or suggested anything about not being able to have more than one male friend? Nice job stretching what actually happened and was said though

[@the3nder1]

@@Janjones7735 I think your assumption that girls "aren't allowed" to have male friends other than the one they are in a relationship with is clouding your perspective on the story. As a dad of a young woman myself this dad has the right idea but wrong execution. If the boy's parents calld them that means that he was deeply effected emotionally by what happened and most parents try to make sure to raise empathetic children that don't go around inflicting pain for no reason. I'm not saying the boys feelings are her responsibility but what IS her responsibility are her actions. That is the teachable moment for the daughter. The teachable moment for the dad is that there are other ways to teach than punishment. This is why young children shouldn't be "in relationships", they don't have the emotional awareness or maturity to handle them. Hell, a lot of adults don't have enough of the either.

[@llamaniaman4002]

@@hedonismbot1508think it's more about teaching her to be considerate and honest. But either way, it shouldn't be pushed beyond "you might hurt his feelings". Trust me, they'll both forget and if they don't, they'll just start a silly playground war at best. Nothing serious. Even then, the girl is 7. She's allowed to hold hands with as many other 7 year old boys as she wants. It means absolutely nothing. I remember when my bestfriend's other bestfriend was jealous of me in elementary. Looking back on it, it was hilarious and petty. Same thing happened in kindergarten on Halloween. I was dressed as a devil and my best friend as a damsel-in-distress princess. The memory of her other best friend dragging her away while we reached out to eachother dramatically will never fail to make me laugh. I could go on and on about all the melodramaticness of elementary relationships. It was full of drama but only innocent drama 😂 Let kids be kids.

[@Caffeinatedwife]

Being a flower girl at 6 in your father's wedding would mean so much more to a little girl than a 2 year old. I was a flower girl for my mom's cousin at 5 because they're like sisters (I've called her Aunt Wendy my whole life) and I was over the moon about that. I remember crying when I outgrew my flower girl dress.

[@iPLAYtheSTATION]

I have a story somewhat similar to story 4. My dad died when I was about 5, and my mom remarried a few years later. Things didn't work out in the marriage due to disagreements that they couldn't compromise on, so they got divorced. We attended a church, and a small group from the church reached out to my mom saying they had something "very important" to discuss with her. They invited her over to someone's house. Basically, they told her that she needs to "submit to her husband" or else she will be damned to hell because divorce is a sin. My mom was angry and told them to mind their own business. She stormed out of there, and we didn't go back to that church.

[@Silverserri]

The reason why pastors and religious groups try to shame a woman into staying in bad relationships is that if they let the woman see the red flags for what they are, then the woman will ALSO see those red flags in religion, and leave the religion as well. It's one thing to hear a human man say "Love me or I will punish you. Do what I say or I will punish you." It's another to realize that God is saying the exact same thing.

[@patrickbicking4933]

@@Silverserri hey man, that ain't how it is. God is owed everything, because he MADE everything.

[@Silverserri]

@@patrickbicking4933 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh! I'm an atheist though, so you are only wasting your time.

[@patrickbicking4933]

@@Silverserri fair enough, you do you

[@dungeonsanddragonshomebrew3165]

@@patrickbicking4933 firstly a child doesn't owe the parent jack shit secondly you have to prove that god did anything or that he's even real or that your specific god is real

[@DefiantHeart]

I have a two year old in my house. He's the sweetest, silliest little guy I've ever known, but walking calmly down the aisle at a wedding is definitely in the bottom ten of his best skills. Running down it while singing loudly? He's your man.

[@eskykitty]

i’m chuckling imagining a little two year old skipping down the aisle singing 😂 thanks for the laugh today dude, i needed that

[@DefiantHeart]

@@eskykitty Every wedding should have one. Coming attractions, as it were.

[@erinclark5681]

The dad in the 3rd story instantly gave me the creeps. Yes, talk to her about hurting feelings, but that he's thinking she's raising a "cheater" feels like some weird projection.

[@amazehub3644]

Step father A dad would never do that

[@Yukikun22]

makes me think he must have some past trauma with cheating...like maybe one of his parents was a cheater and it messed up his childhood? that or he had a really bad partner in the past and seeing that his daughter has the capacity to "cheat" is making him panic that she might grow up to be like that partner? whatever the reason, that man needs therapy...

[@black1917]

@@amazehub3644 Sweet summer child you don't spend much time on this sub do you?

[@erinclark5681]

@@Yukikun22 Agreed.

[@Yukikun22]

@@amazehub3644 huh?? there are great, loving step dads out there and there are horrible, evil bio dads....this is such a weird statement.

[@annawestall4395]

Mom of a 20 year old here. I have ALWAYS stayed out of her love life. Just give her a shoulder to cry on and a soft place to land when needed. I did give her one piece of advice when she started dating: Going back to an ex (when issues have not been fixed) is like going to fridge, seeing the milk is turning sour, putting it back, then trying the same milk 2 weeks later thinking it will be better.😂 My dad shared it with me, and I shared it with her. Both of us had to learn it for ourselves.

[@dummyfool5937]

Imma use this for my nieces or if i ever have kids lol

[@impishrebel5969]

I've heard story 1 before and every time it gives off the same "BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP THE MIRACLE CHILD!!!!" and I'm half convinced that's really what the parents want.

[@Chuckf66]

Yup. Can it fly? Nope. Can it heal the crippled? Nope. Can it breathe underwater? Nope. It's just another kid.

[@danielbrant6740]

​@@Chuckf66 Is the kid legitimately smart? If yes, parents should set aside some $$$ for their education.

[@memeboi6942]

@desperate need of scotch Only for a bit, then the oxygen meter runs out.

[@moodmusic836]

@@Chuckf66 I love your username 😂

[@spydersoup8447]

On top of that, they might also be the type of family members who hates step family members purely because they're not biologically from the family, as this subreddit had also featured stories like this, but here, they're hiding it using their child, almost like they're saying "We don't want any step-kids in our family events, so let's use our miracle child to overthrow them completely".

[@mostvaluableproduction]

Story 1: It's sad to me when people who have miracle babies then use that as an excuse to become so entitled. This kind of behavior will not be good for their child in the long run.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

I’m adopted & my Dad loves to introduce me by providing my life’s story of being born early & their fight to bring me to the states. I’ve started asking to just stop & introduce me as his daughter, end of story. So ya agreed! It’s cringy as heck.

[@Akira_of_the_Fae]

I was a miracle baby but i never really got much special treatment, maybe a little because i was the quieter child but thats about it, was never used to get anything

[@Jschymik2]

the fact that miracle babies aren't even an actual thing and are just something that people made up as an excuse to make literally everything about their child will always be funny to me

[@Ahrpigi]

First story: those parents need a wakeup call before they turn into full blown Entitled Parents, completely spoil the child they wanted so badly, and end up with an entitled brat.

[@thechapLen]

This is why I hate the whole "rainbow baby" idea. It almost always gets taken too far. I knew a family friend who even named their rainbow baby daughter Miracle and you never saw such a spoiled child.

[@QueenEmy-qt9ee]

I have two rainbow babies. Trust me I love them to death. But I also know that they are not the center of everyone's world. My almost three year old is a typical kid. I would not let him have a part in anyone's wedding, it would be utter chaos. Rainbow babies are miracles to their parents but not necessarily everyone else.😂

[@wmdkitty]

Too late...

[@ostlandr]

People forget that one meaning of "spoiled" is ruined. Those parents will destroy that child, and make them unfit to be in a normal relationship.

[@nadinenone4761]

What do you mean "before"? They've already achieved Entitled Parent status and the kid's only a year and a half old. The kid ending up an entitled brat seems a foregone conclusion.

[@breezy3392]

Story 1: I'd actually give brother and sister-in-law a higher score because if they keep this up, they are going to end up raising a raging narcissist

[@vange13113]

As someone who was a miracle baby, for completely different reasons than the baby in the first story, I’m so glad that my parents never forced me to be the centre of attention and just treated me normally. It’s going to be so embarrassing for that poor kid when she gets older, if her parents keep doing that to her, especially if she grows up to be shy and not wanting to be centre of attention.

[@MyFiddlePlayer]

OMG, that fourth story. The level of ignorance is staggering. Babies often are born with different hair, skin, or eye color from what they eventually develop into. Bottom line is, if you don't trust a person and/or they don't trust you, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. The freak-out over the hair is just his excuse for a relationship that isn't working for him.

[@MissShiniSato]

I mean, my children look nothing like me, they look more Asian than black/African American, people should pay more attention to genetics 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@anndownsouth5070]

My parents both had dark hair. My brothers and I were all born with dark curly hair that turned blonde when we were between 1 and 3, and then it hot darker again. I list the curls, but the boys did keep theirs. Blond and red hair needs very specific gene combinations to be carried on.

[@Ikajo]

Yup. I was really blonde as a child, but my hair darkened as I grew older. Just in time for me to start getting grey hair.

[@MyFiddlePlayer]

I have plenty of relatives who were born with dark brown or black hair, which either dramatically fell out at a few months of age, or gradually lightened, and ended up light brown or blond. This is not unusual and may well be how it turns out for OP's kid.

[@KnucklesxReala911]

Hair is always what baffles me when it comes to reasons to believe someone clearly cheated, sure if you and your partner have dark and brown hair is likely yours will too but also totally not, my parents are dark haired and we were the ones red haired and our oldest brother is a full curly afro, and only our mom have at best have wavy

[@IljaHordist]

Second story: OP's stepdad obviously forced OP to call him "dad" because he knew damn well he wouldn't treat her in a way that would make her feel like calling him dad on her own accord.

[@Yukikun22]

i think he was deeply insecure about marrying a woman "with baggage" and he didn't want other people to know about it. but that "you're being disrespectful of my love" line was....very unsettling...

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

​@@Yukikun22 yeah, that is just sick. Good for OP for throwing it back in her "mother's" face. It wasn't just the past...it was the OP's entire childhood. Seriously eff'ed up.

[@Yukikun22]

@@Claudia-lq3ns seriously! i'm proud of her! the fact that this sort of story is so common on reddit makes me really sad. a parent that would just let their child suffer neglect and abuse in favor of their heartless, abusive, power-tripping partner is something i'll never understand. then to ask something like that of OP when that woman knows for damn sure if OP was the one who needed help and her husband said no that she would bow down to his will and ignore her daughter's cries for help...is just disgusting.

[@silverflight01]

Story 1: Basically, the whole post is "We get it, you had a miracle baby. Stop trying to take over everything." It's not being cruel, OP just wants the step-daughter to be the flower girl

[@chriscarpenter3370]

exactly. being a miracle baby doesn't exactly make you special.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And the fact SIL mentioned being the one to carry niece as flower girl validates that her baby is more for clout. Another person’s wedding isn’t about you and your offspring! I hope OP includes on the invites that children two and under not invited. Even as guests they will make OPs wedding about them and niece

[@sentientcardboarddumpster7900]

​@@chriscarpenter3370 it's a miracle any of us are here lol

[@chriscarpenter3370]

@@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 yeah that's fair

[@alexandriav3956]

The stepsister obviously loved the attention she got and didn’t want it to stop. Only, now she’s just annoying everyone and making people not give a shit. Ok great… you did something millions of women have done throughout history; you’re not special.

[@jliberatore6488]

Story 2: as someone who’s guardian tried to force me to call him dad a month after my dad died, people that act like the mom and step dad have a special level of hatred from me. It’s cruel and defeating for a child. It makes them feel isolated and out of place. OP did the right thing by leaving and never looking back. Good on them

[@TheNukebooster]

Last story: no bad guys, except for the guy telling on the daughter. The daughter is in her full right to choose her profession. The dad is within his full right to not finanially support the daughter if she chooses a profession he doesnt approve.

[@Pandanas666]

At the same time, I hope the father is ready for the consequences of him deciding to not support his daughter anymore because he doesn't approuve of her job.

[@Wendywolffriend]

My parents are both brunette and my younger brother came out of the womb blonde. But no one even considered that mom had cheated because several men on dad’s side of the family started out blonde and turned brunette around 10 or 12. My brother’s hair pulled the same trick.

[@ScooterBond1970]

My brother and I also both started out life as little blonds but got dark hair right around school time. Now tho, we're old enough that it's starting to creep back towards light again! 🧓🏻👴🏻🤣🤣

[@randominternetguy3537]

Yea, it happens. My family's the same. My hair is black, but I was bald when I was born. Neither of my parents was bald. I'm so glad my parents didn't think I had a different mom or something. No, but seriously, who tf is so retadded? Even if all he knew was basic biology squares, if he paid attention, he would know that gingers don't follow the rules. There are so many biological anomalies that gingers suffer from. They get cute af freckles for life, their skin is so white, some of them get sunburnt from like 20 min of sunshine, they have to have to get double or triple anesthesia dosage, and more. It's crazy.

[@PotterBrony82]

“I know they care in their own twisted way.” No, no they do not.

[@danielbrant6740]

They only "care" about losing a potential mindless Christian baby factory.

[@bigbird4481]

What annoys me is these people aren't behaving like christians, and to be honest most churches and Christians don't even obey the bible so they need to lay off and be more supportive

[@lorilancaster5917]

Twisted isn’t Christian. They want to pick and choose what they think is acceptable to fit their narrative. He and the others only care about appearances.

[@alexandriav3956]

There’s a top story on r/bestofredditorupdates where someone told their like 30 year old sister that no one gives a shit that she’s a rainbow baby. Apparently, she’s made it her entire personality. So she went and tattled on to her mom who told her yeah, no one cares and if anyone should, it should be her, the mom! So I’m guessing this baby is going to grow up with that same mentality if her mom has anything to do with it.

[@mrsplashman8308]

5th story if the girl can choose what job she has then the dad can choose how he spends his money. He gets 0 out of 5 buttholes.

[@MrDoverfield]

Agreed 0/5

[@Nerobyrne]

Just because he's allowed to doesn't mean it doesn't make him an a-hole.

[@Spectre0799]

rSlash, you have a daughter. The fact that you insinuate that you would support her going into such a sketchy, dangerous industry is actually appalling. OP has no right to control his daughter's career of course, but that's not what he's doing. He's just not supporting her decision.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Story four: I know Alex is currently OPs only support network but for her safety and well-being it seems like she needs to move further away. They will harass her in hopes she will break!

[@Leslie58]

I thought the same thing. Religious extremism is scary and they will hound her as long as she’s anywhere close to them.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@Leslie58 and the police may turn a blind eye as well. I’m getting a vibe that OP lives in a small church cult community of sorts.

[@Tustin2121]

She needs a restraining order on the whole family, fast, and to cut everyone off.

[@Dondizle]

It was just as sucky of them to constantly berate OP, a new mother, during the time they were waiting for the results. OP's husband left, and him and his family put stress on a mother when she could've done with her husband's help. They didn't even apologise for any of it. "God says forgive and forget. And you can't divorce because it's a sin". So, what about if OP was unfaithful? Would her husband be forced to raise someone else's child, because he can't divorce and it would be the right thing to do? Doubt it, considering he left until the results came back he was the father. I'm glad OP has her brother for support.

[@KellyDVance]

3rd story: parents who "punish" their children for any part of a relationship (romantic or otherwise) are weird and creepy. That is some pretty controlling behavior, like what is the next step, being in the room to make sure that their marriage consummated a la royalty of old? Any consequences they face should be social, not from their parents. Also, their 7! This is something that I as a parent of a 6y/o would laugh about. And some kids need to work past their oversensitive nature. I have literally watched one of my daughter's good friends collapse into tears because one day mine didn't see her right away and so didn't immediately go say "hi". Kids do things like that.

[@survivedandthriving]

Mostly agreed - I think the only time parents should consider punishment about any part of their child's relationship is if that child is getting entitled or creepy-stalkerish about the person they want to have a relationship with - and something like 'taking away access to internet, phone, and grounding' types of punishment as much to protect the person that is the object of the child's attention as much as anything else. On that note, I really think OP should tell Lucas' parents to explain to their kid that he has no entitlement to her daughter - or any other girl/woman.

[@KellyDVance]

@@survivedandthriving that is a fair point. If it gets to the point where the child is bullying, harassing, or otherwise forcing their attention on another person, it isn't okay and the parent(s) should step in and nip that behavior in the bud.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4: OP let me explain why there doing this. A whole church and two families together to slaut shame woman for something she didn't do, to the point she left the religion altogether. Now they have to force you back so they can pretend nothing ever happened so they don't have to feel so ashamed of themselves. Plus your ex is going to need a woman to take care of the baby. Don't feel bad because no of them cared how you felt for over a month.

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

This!! I can't imagine what OP was going through...a whole month RIGHT AFTER she birthed her child. Shame on all of them. I hope the OP gets a cease and desist (like another poster said) or put them all on complete blast. What this community did is horrible. Shame on all of them.

[@swisshakilla]

I feel like everyone reacted as they should have seeing as though the baby did not resemble the father at birth, at that point it was incumbent upon the mother to prove her purity. I think it’s toxic to be upset with people that had legitimate concerns about the paternity of the baby.

[@stepgamerdad]

That second story hits close to home. I'm a stepdad, and I would never force my kid to call me "dad" if they didn't want to. Trying to force a familial connection will always have the exact opposite effect in the end.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The second story: My goodness. OP is so not the butthole. Mother pushed her into the corner metaphorically speaking and took the side of her new husband then completely made her daughter a non-entity when her half siblings were born. Stepdad is toxic and mother enabled it. She was shamed for correcting anyone who referred to her stepdad as her father and treated like absolute garbage. Naturally, years later, now that it's convenient for her parents to contact her, dear old mom expects her to let bygones be bygones and whitewash the past because she needs a helping hand. All of this reeks of narcissistic behavior: blame-shifting, devaluing, gaslighting, guilt tripping, hoovering, breadcrumbing and use of flying monkeys (the family friend who tried to shame OP into forgetting about the past). I think OP is well within her rights to continue being on low to no-contact with her family. They made it very obvious where she ranks in the family hierarchy.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Post 2 the family friend should get one out of five bad guys for getting involved in what is none of their business and trying to guilt OP. If they’re so concerned they can step up and take care of the family. And I got to say, where was this family friend when OP was being mistreated?

[@lorilancaster5917]

Probably was one of the flying monkeys enforcing OP to play happy family. Screw them

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* Lol at OP's SIL for asking if OP's six-year-old stepdaughter could carry OP's niece. I'm also imagining OP's niece -crawling down the aisle- forgot she'd be two so I guess waddling down the aisle, then stopping and eating the flower petals. Anywho, OP is NTA, and I'm glad she kept her promise to her stepdaughter. *Second OP:* Why should OP help care for someone who hadn't treated her like a (decent) father, but expected to be addressed as such? OP's mom _did_ fail OP, and she has to face the consequences of her actions. OP is NTA, and if the family friend is so concerned about OP's mom and John, then _she_ can go help them! *Third OP:* OP's husband probably got cheated on, and took Paula's "cheating" personally. That has to be the only reasonable explanation (not excuse) for his reaction. OP is NTA. As long as Layla doesn't continue the behavior into adulthood, she'll be fine, lol. *Fourth OP:* Genetics is wild, ain't it? OP's MIL and their pastor trespassed on Alex's home, so OP made the right call by calling the cops. OP is NTA, and I wish her and her baby (and Alex) the best of luck. Hearing rSlash say "Go live your life, girl" gave my endorphins a nice boost. *Fifth OP:* OP is correct in that it's his money and his choice not to help pay for his daughter's car. He just shouldn't be surprised if his choice results in his daughter cutting off contact with him. OP is TA. And I agree that OP's snitch of a coworker is a huge AH.

[@dracko158]

For the fourth story, I think OP handled it just like anyone would. What do they mean they weren't being threatening? MIL and the pastor literally FORCED into OP'S home and BERATED her. These people need to butt out and mind their own business, and stop jumping to conclusions without hearing the whole damn story.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@dracko158 they and others are putting OP in a situation (and they are likely harassing Alex as well) where she is a prisoner in another person’s home. Either she goes out and is bombarded by people forcing her to go back to a toxic lifestyle. Or she stays with Alex until he can longer help her and she feels forced to go back for stability

[@chrishusted9296]

The play relationship is a very good opportunity to teach. Talk to the daughter about communicating expectations and how faithfulness is the expectation of most and how it works. Also take the time to teach her that it's fine to fall out of love and pursue someone else as long as shell communicates and leaves the person she's in a relationship with.

[@shykorustotora]

She's 7

[@thecanadianbastard9019]

@@shykorustotora what’s the age to start teaching your kids then?

[@Amy_The_unbearded]

I agree that parents should be teaching/explaining how relationships and communication in relationships works, but not at 7.

[@knight3612]

​@@Amy_The_unbeardedwhy not? If a 7 year old is saying they have a boyfriend or girlfriend the best course of action is to try to teach about red flags and expectations/boundaries in a kid friendly way to avoid abusive relationships early

[@chrishusted9296]

@Shykorus Totora sure, but healthy relationships should be taught at any and all ages. That's how you harden your child against groomers. Now note, this doesn't mean anything teaching anything sexual or telling your little boy they can't have a boyfriend. But in my opinion, anyone against parents teaching a child that boundaries exist and how a healthy relationships is... well, let's just say I wouldn't want them around children in the first place.

[@nathanielthomson6600]

I agree with the call on story 3 it has the potential to be a teachable moment but punishing your child for not engaging in relationships the same way you do is Insane to say the least.

[@sailorstar3148]

That boy that girl was holding hands with could’ve been her friend and he’s mad at her for it. I think, instead of blaming the girl for holding hands with a friend that you should teach the boy that a boy and a girl can be friends and hold hands. It doesn’t mean that they’re cheating.

[@socalkook370]

Rslash: “her body, her choice” Also Rslash: “his money, but not his choice”

[@imfat7851]

Exactly 🙄

[@kellyraye815]

Of all the takes, this is the shittiest

[@xavierbrown4051]

If you made a promise you should keep it. And if you have kids its your responsibility to look after them and take care of them when they need help. To say otherwise is called being an irresponsible arse.

[@mitsukisuruichi7030]

​@@xavierbrown4051wasn't a promise, it was a favor

[@crazeeaz]

​@@xavierbrown4051I mean, I would say part of good parenting is doing what you can to keep them from being a stripper.

[@zyvlynbayne6821]

100% on your side rslash, regarding the "punishing your kid for cheating" thing. Obviously cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend is crappy behavior, but I think the appropriate response is an "I'm disappointed in you" conversation. Not actually punishing them. The fact that the kid is 7 just makes it more ridiculous, but it's ridiculous at any age.

[@roach_man_roach_man4024]

absolutely. punishing your child for their relationship choices, good or bad, weirdly involves the parent in their romantic life. like, i would 100% tell my kid that i was disappointed in them and thought i had raised them to make better choices, but at the end of the day i'm not gonna insert myself in their relationship by actually punishing them surrounding it. you shouldn't be involved like that, that's... weird

[@BrentDubroc]

Honestly, I would view it as emotional cheating, but it's also not something that they should punish explicitly, but just have a talk with their daughter about.

[@sosansational]

​@@BrentDubrocshe's SEVEN

[@mariposa9506]

I wouldn't be disappointed in my 7 year old for holding all her friends hands. I would definitely say "I'm disappointed in you" to the father and the other boys parents for seeking to taint children's innocent friendships with adult connotations of real dating. There's no such thing as either fidelity nor infidelity in a 7 year Olds friendships. Stop trying to make kids grow up before their time.

[@sailorstar3148]

@@BrentDubroc It’s not even cheating. All she did was hold hands with someone that happens to be a boy and giving him a Valentine’s Day card. A boy and a girl can do that and be friends these kids are seven years old.

[@tmansmith2110]

As a child of divorce as soon as I heard the opening of the second story I went "man, how to get your kid to hate you 101..." and damn was I right..

[@Richard_Nickerson]

Whoa how tf can anyone tell OP she's wrong for not kicking her stepdaughter out of the wedding!?

[@crizmeow8394]

buT iTs a RaINboW bABY

[@kranberry3318]

And how on earth is making a 2 year old toddler a flower girl a good idea!?

[@TheAnnyParker]

As someone who has been on both sides of cheating, the best thing to do as a parent is keep distance and let it collapse. Let it be a learning opportunity on its own. If you really want to meddle or punish your child in some way, tell the other people involved. You're punishing your child and saving two innocent people from the punishment of being heartbroken later

[@isasml6857]

I was a flowergirl at 2, and my mom said to me, "Why don't you throw the flowers?" and I literally turned the basket upside down and left. So I can only confirm two year old are not reliable flower girls. 😂

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: If she holds hands with another girl does that mean anything? Who cares it's just hand holding, besides did anyone asked her why she was holding hands? Without context we can't call it cheating.

[@survivedandthriving]

This! Plus, aside from the absurdity of anyone framing the relationship this way, the only reason anyone is calling it 'cheating' is because Lucas' parents said it was. How do we know if the girl ever even thought of it as anything more than a friendship (and they're 7 so that's the likely scenario)? And how do we know if the girl told Lucas no or that she was done with him or that she wanted more than one 'boyfriend' etc.? I think Lucas' parents need to have a talk with him to let him know that he is never entitled to anyone's attentions.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: why would your niece need to be horned for your wedding? When she's invited to a friend's birthday party will they get mad that her name isn't on the birthday cake? Like it or not the family is not going to put her in the center of everything they do. Also if your mom told you your step daughter will understand, then she's not being neutral, if she was he wouldn't have said anything.

[@Chuckf66]

Agreed, but you might want to check out the typo. It's a little disturbing to imagine the kid being "horned".... 🤣

[@bigbird4481]

​@@Chuckf66 I'm not sure if they meant honored or adorned

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Story 3: While the daughter is clearly not in the wrong for “cheating” on her “boyfriend” i DO think you could say to her “hey sweetie, you hurt you friends feelings by your actions, you should say that you’re sorry”

[@shykorustotora]

She's 7

[@MalloriaAnn]

I think that saying that is a bit confusing and too minimal for this situation. The daughter would not understand how or why she hurt his feelings. And its not good to teach her that if a guy has a crush on her then she is responsible for his hurt feelings when she holds hands with or hugs another man. She isn't. Now you could explain to her how adult relationships work with boyfriends and girlfriends. And explain that if she wanted him to be her boyfriend then normally in grown up world this means she would only hold hands with him and he would only hold hands with her. Explain how it hurt his feelings and why. Ask if she would be hurt if he held another girls hands. But I would not say that she hurt her friends feelings because phrasing it that way gives her the impression that if a friend likes her she can't hug another friend or that she is responsible for the emotions or behaviors of another person, which she isn't. If they were just friends then she wouldn't have cheated so really she would have done nothing wrong that she needs to apologize for. That's why you have to go in detail or else you might confuse her and risk her forming her own incorrect interpretation of what she is apologizing for.

[@Spgzay]

Lemme edit this do I don't get call a misogynist

[@mc-rn8ro]

@@Spgzay You’re right, but there are certain things a kid that young simply doesn’t understand To her, all that happened was she was friends with one boy and then friends with another. And framing that as a bad thing is gonna result in her developing the understanding that it’s not okay to make new friends or leave relationships where she’s unhappy This issue needs to be moved on from. She’ll make new friends, he’ll make new friends. End of story.

[@sailorstar3148]

I can’t believe that people are getting on the daughters cast on the last story for stripping and saying that rslash as a bad take but to other your daughter, that you hurt your “boyfriend” feelings by holding another boys hands so go apologize. that is a bad message to send to young girls. Friends that are boys and friends that are girls can still hold hands and not be in a romantic relationship too.

[@christishepherd2676]

(Play Relationship) As a parent, I agree about that being a teachable moment. At 7 kids don't know what a relationship really is, so to punish them at 7... not okay. At 16, if my kid were to cheat, IF they asked me I would say hey, you are wrong in this situation, but ultimately it's none of my business what they decide to do in their relationship (with the exception of "passionately hugging" because then we'd need to discuss being safe and taking precautions).

[@aum1040]

Also, why is going to a strip club a-hole behavior, but working at a strip club is not a-hole behavior? That is really weird to me. Like "drug users should go to jail, but drug dealers are just trying to pay the bills" weird.

[@trumediamix1]

Cultural double standards and hypocrisy, basically

[@shannonp1656]

The father who doubted his child was actually his, along with everyone who was so nasty to the new mother, needs a lesson in being Christlike and forgiving. I choose those words because they claim to be Christian. I know a pair of blonde parents who have a brunette child. Genetics is like that.

[@FishAnvil]

Example No.5 billion of why both paternity and maternity tests should be mandatory at birth of no cost to the parents. Not to mention it protects the hospital and the families from an accidental birth-swap.

[@swisshakilla]

Just because you are a Christian does not mean you are immune to natural human impulses. If you are hurt, it is very difficult to behave rationally. In fact, I believe it is easier to forgive someone for doubting your fidelity then it is to accept the idea that your long time lover may have carried a baby for another man.

[@thehuntsman8341]

​@swisshakilla what kind of twisted logic is that? She was innocent. She's been with this guy since she was 13, and on one of the happiest days of her life, he made a complete fool out of her and then went on a smear campaign against her. Where was all this forgiveness and compassion when she was the one being accused of something?

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, NTA: Wow, these people are selfish, crazy, and wrong. Ok, good for them that their daughter is a miricale baby, we get it. However, just because this kid beat all the odd in being born, doesn’t mean she gets special treatment. The fact that SIL is spreading the false narrative that OP doesn’t love his niece because he refuses to give his niece a role the literal baby will not remember is baffling Second Story, NTA: OP's mom is a horrible mother. Imagine trying to force ur kid to accept that a new man is replacing her late father. On top of what sounds like emotional abuse, she has the nerve to expect OP to do anything for her or John after that? Lmao yeah, no; OP's mom is a failure as a mom and being family doesn’t make her entitled to anything of OP. That friend that is on the mom's side wants to shame OP? Whats stopping them from helping them? Third Story, NTA: They are both 7...need I say more? Bro, imagine calling ur own SEVEN YEAR OLD daughter a cheater because...she held hands with another boy and gave him a Valentine's Day card...OP, don’t punish a kid over something this ridiculous Fourth Story, NTA: Ohhhh its all "treat OP like trash" until those cheating accusations were wrong. Now its "take ex-husband back or u are going to hell"; I’d rather burn in hell than take a person like OP's ex back any day, either way it would’ve been suffering so might as well take the fire and brimestone option. Also, what they did was in fact illegal lmao. I’m pretty sure force entry is a crime; in fact OP can file a report on everyone harassing her because harassment is also a crime Fifth Story, YTA: I’ve heard that strippers make a lot of money doing this and considering college ain’t cheap, I don’t blame OP's daughter for doing what she does. Who wants to work somewhere u get paid minimum wage and sometimes yelled at by entitled customers? Also, I agree with that comment; that coworker is gross to tell a random woman's parents her job

[@chriscarpenter3370]

this leads to waaaaaaaay too much golden child treatment. and that's why the kid grows up to be an ass.

[@dracko158]

It pisses me off that the mom says OP is being unfair. Like what?! So SHE isn't unfair for not backing up OP and defend her husband everytime?? Like wtf?

[@BadassHater1]

About a 7 year olds and holding hands - perhaps this is a VERY early sign of what OP's daughter could marry herself into when she gets older. Those parents are crazy

[@Arylwren1]

not going to lie, but I wish the terms "miracle baby" and "rainbow baby" would just end.

[@PaveMentman]

--- @@BadassHater1 Yeah, like holding each others' hands supposedly just is some sort in-direct mouth-to-mouth-kissing or even "passionate-hugging"? Sheesh, to think of all those hands through my life I have held during ring-games and dances of all sorts (folk and stage dances like tango, waltz, jenkka / schottische, etc.). Good lord, think of all the "holding hand of guidance"-situations with "bros" and also in video-games like in "ICO"! ---

[@maryg6742]

3rd story: The father is a bad guy because he is playing into purity culture. He is adultifying his 7 year old and trying to police her chastity. He isn't worried about her "cheating" he's worried she won't be "chaste". If Layla was a boy, I GUARANTEE he wouldn't see a problem with this.

[@BunchyPanther42]

Me when I make up scenarios in my head and get mad 😡

[@kninenights]

There’s also the fact that this doesn’t even mean romance necessarily. He’s making a whole thing out of it when literally it’s two 7 year olds *holding hands*. It’s so fuckin stupid

[@SPTV_RBX]

Nuh uh

[@mrsplashman8308]

This is all you’re imagination by the way.

[@Tustin2121]

Honestly, why else would he want to punish his daughter for literal playing?!

[@jman12g73]

For the “relationship” story. I would think that stepping in and actually punishing a child would only teach them that parents have control over everything.

[@PaladinGear15]

I've been cheated on twice and it suuuucks, but a 7 year old holding hands with a different 7 year old isn't making the kid a "cheater", that's moronic. I was thinking the exact same thing as R/Slash, it's a good opportunity to make it into a teachable moment, explain why the boy could have been upset, but it certainly doesn't warrant punishment, and labelling your 7 year old daughter a cheater? That's absurd.

[@sailorstar3148]

Exactly like to seven year olds a boy and a girl holding hands in her giving him a Valentine’s Day card isn’t cheating. Like a boy and a girl that are friends can still do that and if those little boys feelings are hurt because of that, then each the little boy that a boy and a girl can be friends. Instead of blaming the girl who has done nothing wrong.

[@sayadiva123]

I read and commented on story 3 and I’m still laughing just hearing it again! These kids are 7 YEARS OLD!! They don’t know the concept of an actual relationship and commitment!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 do none of the adults except OP have common sense?!

[@heyysaturnlol]

5th story: I agree that the coworker is gross, and probably tried to hit on OP’s daughter and told off. However, I will say that i believe that if OP for any reason doesn’t want to pay the car note that he can stop. it was an agreement, not a promise. like rslash said, its her body and she can do whatever, its his money he should be able to do the same. Especially if he doesn’t like whats going on.

[@charlesmaxey9342]

Exactly. An agreement usually comes with stipulations. It shpuldnt have to be implicitly said "no, stripping" in the agreement. Plus, he gave her the choice of him paying for her note still if she got a more respectable job in his eyes. She didn't want to, so yes, she can double down on stripping all she wants now since he's not helping her out.

[@D-Dollie]

Agree. Also it doesn’t look like they are very poor that the only job available for her is to strip!! If she really needed money she could have asked her parents. I think the daughter likes that job and that is it.

[@truthseeker9249]

We really wouldn't want our daughter to strip or be an escort and that would probably be the thing to make us cut off financial support too. Because after all, if your job is supposedly giving you decent money you don't need your parents anymore.

[@SkunkApe407]

Not in Dabney's world! In his world, a man is always obligated to do the woman's bidding. Her body, her choice. His money, her meal ticket. Listen to what Dabney said again. He KNOWS strippers make decent money, yet still EXPECTS him to pay her car payments. Pay attention to how he slants his opinions and you'll get an idea of how he operates. Dabney is that dude who says whatever a he thinks women want to hear and acts subservient to them because he thinks it makes him more appealing. He's a younger version of Dr. Phil. Where Dr. Phil's target audience is postmenopausal women, Dabney's target audience is prepubescent girls. Audience demographics aside, they're both seeking approval from women that they obviously didn't receive during their own adolescent years. They're the extreme opposite of incels.

[@bigbird4481]

I don't understand why people are saying the coworker is creepy, the guy went to a strip club and saw a coworkers daughter working there so he told the coworker. How is that creepy he was was concerned probably because he knows his coworker well enough that the father would be very disappointed with his daughter doing that. Also I'm on the father's side, no daughter of mine will EVER step foot into a strip club let alone work for one. And if she's needing money I'll give her some but if she keeps working there I'll count off money until she needs it so badly she works somewhere else

[@immorttalis]

When I was 7, I was talking about marrying the twin sisters who I liked. I also wanted to become a botanist zoologist fireman. Only a madman would take a 7 year old completely seriously.

[@n0_s1eep23]

I feel like I'm in a Rslash cult how I watch every single video everyday for years now. I am happy with it.

[@survivedandthriving]

I know, eh? When he said he's a father of a two year old, I realized I'd been listening since he was saying 'if I were a father...' And then realized it has been years... But, I'm happy with it too.

[@Hellion421]

​@@survivedandthrivingmy exact same thought haha. "Wasn't she born, like, last month? What are you talking about?"

[@shadicusivxxradicus2253]

I'm sensing some past trauma from Layla's father in this story. Like when the father was younger he was cheated on. And he's projecting that past trauma on his 7 year old daughter. I still concur with Dabney's 0/0 bad guy scores. I just think that the father needs to talk to a therapist regarding his past incident.

[@funkytoasts4768]

I'm 18 and my friend has been cheated on last year. She was absolutely destroyed by it and that lad was lucky for living in a different country cause I would have gone for him. Cause this was a friend who has helped me face my darkest days and is the reason I'm alive today so whilst extreme the reaction, that was my rationale. I'd say it is a perfect teaching moment, if I was a parent of a 17 year old cheater I would punish them as I want them to know that it's better to break off a relationship then cheat and that if I found out he'd be dead

[@Ironraven001]

I can tell you're 18 and don't have kids.

[@MalloriaAnn]

You realize you do not need to punish a child in order to get them to understand something you want them to understand, right? That's called a teaching moment. Without punishing her or him, you would just let them know how disappointed you are. Let them know the extent that they hurt their partner. Ask how they would feel if someone did that to them. Explain that if they want to find a loving, healthy and happy relationship in the future, they will never be able to if they are not going to be faithful, respectful, and honest with their partner. Explain that you still love them no matter what though and if they need help navigating this situation you are willing to help. Tell them that the best thing they can do is offer a sincere apology to their ex partner or partner, but you must also explain how to do this first and let them know that they must first approach with sensitivity and empathy asking if this person wishes to hear what they have to say. That is the best way to get them to change the behavior while also showing you love your child. Punishing them does nothing but teach them to lie to you and ensure you don't find out next time. You want to make sure your kid knows to always be able to tell you anything.

[@MalloriaAnn]

I'm 29 by the way. When I was 16 I was cheated on by my first long term boyfriend and it destroyed me so much that I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I know how much damage it can do. I had wished at the time his mother cared enough to punish him. But as I grow up, I see the situation now from a mother's perspective. Teenagers are not done developing mentally. They make mistakes and often make huge ones. This doesn't mean he was an evil person who wanted to harm me or knew how much harm he was doing. It's hard to eventually accept, but it's true.

[@mariposa9506]

​@@Ironraven001I was cheated on in my teens more than once. It would have been outright bizarre had the guys mom's got involved wow.😂

[@donnagregory1053]

4th story: op should address a lawyer and have cease and desist letter to everyone harassing you saying if the harassment continues you will take them to court. Best of luck OP you’re amazing!

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

Best advice! Forget them. They should have kept their judgment to themselves until the results came back. My my how the tables have turned.

[@cardheon6091]

It really makes me mad how many people have been abused and don't realize it

[@buglord1]

The first story reminded me of my sister's wedding. She and her husband asked if I would be a grooms man but I said no mainly because I hate being in front of people so they intead had me carry their son down as he was the ring bearer. It worked out greatly as I handed him off to another grooms man and went to sit down

[@jackier3046]

Story 1: Can confirm that a 2 year old definitely is not the best age to be a flower girl/ring bearer unless you have something in place to get them down the aisle. My cousin was 2 when he was the ring bearer and I was 8 as the flower girl and every time we practiced with a fake pillow, he would throw it down the hallway and run. Day of, he refused to walk and I ended up having to carry the pillow with rings over my flower basket. It was super awkward lol Story 4: The fact that they didn’t even bother to wait for the paternity test results to come back before berating OP speaks VOLUMES about her ex and his family, and the fact that they still have the audacity to shame and punish OP even though it was the ex who started everything shows they really had some sort of grudge against her from the very beginning and were waiting for the perfect opportunity to let it all out. OP deserves so much better.

[@shlibbs]

Story 1: NTA as I was a flower girl when I was 3 for my godparents' wedding. I still have the dress but I don't remember a single thing about that day.

[@BennyLlama]

The 4th story is why paternity tests should be automatic and mandatory for all births. It would resolve all these issues and avoid hurt feelings

[@ashh4929]

100% and maybe a few adult prenatal classes on genetics to boot.

[@zilesis1]

tbf, in this story's specific case it was probably best that there wasn't a mandatory test. OP's family and friends are all a-holes. if there was a mandatory test she would never have found out how terrible they were, at least not until years later when it woud have been even harder to cut them out of her life

[@Nerobyrne]

not to mention accidental switches can also be a thing.

[@GiordanDiodato]

I think that's illegal but I need to look up medical laws again.

[@MyFiddlePlayer]

If you don't trust your partner, you shouldn't be with them. The freak out over not understanding how hair color works in newborns is just an excuse, a symptom of a much more fundamental problem. Mandatory paternity tests are a gross invasion of privacy--sure get one if you want it, but whether you choose to is nobody's business but your own.

[@briangarrow448]

When my daughter was 6 years old, a little boy decided he was in “love” with her. We thought it was just a cute innocent kid crush, nothing special. OMG, within a couple of weeks, my daughter said that he gave her a present at school. It was a freaking gold necklace with a gold heart hanging from it! It must have cost at least three or four hundred dollars!!! My wife and I freaked out and called his mother and asked what the heck was going on! Turns out his mother was a trophy wife of a very successful lawyer who spent money like it was going out of style! SHE bought it with him and thought it was appropriate for a child gift! We returned it to him, and told the mother it was very sweet, BUT our family had a rule that nobody could accept expensive gifts from “friends” until high school. Jesus Christ, that mother was a total airhead! The bloom wore off the relationship between the kids and by the time they were in high school, he had come out as gay and was giving expensive gifts to his boyfriends. Phew!

[@vanguardangel6912]

Lemme just say as a woman that’s still dealing with issues of their father shaming them when they were younger learning relationships; please don’t be crazy to the kids. Don’t threaten to kill your kids “boyfriend/girlfriend” and don’t call kids whores. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

[@hunnykun101]

The 7 year old 'cheater': one of my friends told me their elementary school days and she said that school had 'Lunch time weddings' guess how long the 'marriage' last? A day and their 'Spouse' marry someone eles and that last for the day to. Their kids under 10 of course they don't know how relationship works. Why should be punished by that? Is husband salty about it when he has a 7 year old girlfriend at elementary school?

[@Zaka1408]

Story 3: op might want to take a closer look at her husband, he might be projecting

[@G-y_m]

Last story, rslash shows how little he knows

[@PairOfSocksGaming]

Story 3: I think its a teaching moment of sorts, punishment isnt exactly the right thing BUT i think it can be addressed to some degree

[@shykorustotora]

She's 7

[@PairOfSocksGaming]

@@shykorustotora youre right. Cant teach 7 year old anything ever. Theyre 7. Did something wrong? Oops theyre 7 they cant learn or be taught. Damn

[@IsaacTenshou]

i agree. there is no cheating involved here, the "relationship" is obviously just kids playing at relationship but still. i am trying to teach my 4 year old about empathy and how he makes others feel all the time, saying "shes 7" and implying the cant be raised is honestly not something a parent should say

[@kninenights]

Honestly I don’t think it’s a teaching moment. There’s no evidence she was doing this with the intention of “romance”. She didn’t write hearts back and holding hands can mean a lot of different things to kids. They hold hands with their parents after all. I think they need more information, the dad is jumping to conclusions

[@PairOfSocksGaming]

@@kninenights ur thinking about it too much. More just a lesson in empathy. "Hey kiddo u didnt do anything wrong and ur not in trouble but Friend X is upset cuz of this and i just wanna help put some perspective into the situation"

[@callingyouout3954]

If she punishes her daughter for "cheating", then she is teaching her that what she wants and her feelings don't matter and that relationships are about setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Want to raise raw meet for abusers? This is the way to do it. Also, kids change their mind every five minutes, so constancy is not something that anyone can expect. Don't hold 7 year olds to adult standards. They can't do calculous, they make terrible drivers, it's insane to trust them with most machinery or a gun and yeah, they'll change their mind on a dime. It's part of being 7.

[@mariposa9506]

Also 7 year Olds don't date or have boyfriends so they can't cheat on anyone.

[@DarkEinherjar]

4th story: OP was actually blessed by this situation. It showed her the true colors of her STBex, her MIL and everyone who mistreated her before and after the paternity test (basically everyone but Alex). OP should use all this harassment as evidence to fight for full custody of her son, then block every single one of them, change emails and phone numbers and erase them from her life, and get restraining orders against those who don't take the hint.

[@bloodmooncomics2249]

Story four: Can you imagine everyone turning on you claiming you did something you would never do. Once you have to clear your name everyone now yells at you for getting upset that you had to clear your name. That is horrible that they get angry that she was upset and realized how her ex was. That shows that if anything doesn't work out how he wants it he is going to go crazy and now she also knows everyone will agree with him and attack her. He could always turn around and claim she isn't doing something or doing something he doesn't like and know his mother and that priest will show up and try to scare her into going back with the ex. I would run.

[@honeyshuckle9742]

Story 3: The consequences of the 'boyfriend' being mad are consequences enough for the 'cheating'. The daughter needs a small conversation explaining why he's upset, and then allowed to experiment with how she handles the next steps, it's an important part of growing up.

[@sailorstar3148]

That girl is not even cheating all she’s doing is holding hands with someone else and that someone else happens to be a boy. Like a boy and a girl can hold hands and be friends that doesn’t mean that it’s cheating.

[@TJDious]

OP2: Your mother has treated you like dirt for years, and now she wants something from you. You were ABUSED, plain and simple. You owe her nothing and you owe John even less. The kindest thing I can say is I'm glad he has an upcoming appointment with The Only Judge Who Matters.

[@albertoescamilla639]

In the second story she should tell her mom to tell everyone that she is helping her dad and to correct anyone that says otherwise or get punished 😂

[@katwitanruna]

Two years old is not the most reliable age group out there! 🤣 I immediately pictured my kids at that age!

[@aliciacampbell7720]

Her step father demanding her call him dad is disgusting. You have to EARN that.

[@platannapipidae9621]

1st story: op is totally right. like, giving a 6yo a promise and then changing your mind can be the first brick in trust issues and will undermine a parent's authority.

[@FallenKingdom1553]

Listening to RSlash while writing an essay is great. Also morning everyone!

[@funkytoasts4768]

Doing math work rn

[@SamanthaMidgleyIsANerd]

Good Morning! :D

[@Ratpoisonbean]

3:59 this right here. I was the flower girl at my parents wedding when I was three, and I still feel awful about it to this day because I had a full meltdown by bursting out sobbing the moment everybody turned their heads to look at me because I had severe anxiety even as a little kid/toddler. I don’t even like my parents due to a falling out we had, but I still feel bad about it because part of me felt like I ruined their wedding.

[@steventurcotte423]

“Hurt Lucas’s fault” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 love you rslash, take a break man! You deserve it

[@mlee9118]

Let’s be real, a seventeen year old knows cheating is wrong, they don’t need to be “taught” cheating is wrong lol.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Is this about the story where a 7 year steps out on her “boyfriend “ by holding hands with another boy?

[@ZeroleHero000]

She was SEVEN not seventeen.

[@populatoris]

@@ZeroleHero000 the dude is answering question r/ purposed afterwards

[@mlee9118]

@@ZeroleHero000 rslash literally said at the end a theoretical example if it were a seventeen year old should the parents punish a seventeen year old or teach them a lesson. I know what he said.

[@buckskinstallion77]

Some these folks don't really pay attention to Dabney's extra commentary, do they? M Lee knows the kid in the story is 7. r/slash then posed a hypothetical question about a 17 year old. The comment was addressing the question about the hypothetical 17 year old. And to answer that, as a mother, punishing something that isn't my business does seem weird, but nothing will hold back my obvious disappointment.

[@peterhobson3262]

First story: Just because your child is your "miracle baby" doesn't mean that everyone else is super-duper impressed by the kid. Sure, the baby is the center of your life but other people do not have the same attachment. This is not a slam against you or your precious little moppet.

[@lonku4788]

Gotta love RSlash did start calling them "Bad guy Points"

[@sentinel6859]

Two year olds cost a fortune in laundry expenses alone, and the algorithm keeps getting stingier.. Won't anyone think of the detergent bill? 😂

[@jdd9993]

A six-year-old is a far more appropriate choice for a flower girl than a two-year-old.

[@MizTameRumors]

Accusing your wife of cheating and denying your baby over hair colour is absolutely ridiculous… what a clown.

[@driversuz44]

Oh the irony. Your last line: "It's her body and she gets to decide what she does with it." No AH. Dad applies the same principle to his money. AH score 2.5.

[@bella4ever251]

My parents tried to have kids for 20 years before they had me (the only child) and they NEVER tried to make me the center of attention. Was I THEIR center of attention? Yes. Did they make me everyone else’s center of attention? No.

[@trevorseitz502]

Last story, no bad guys found. Everything comes with string attached.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Don’t you mean G strings?

[@FishAnvil]

I originally kind of agreed with the commenter until I remembered that the daughter was at the strip club too lol.

[@trevorseitz502]

@@lorilancaster5917 bah dum tis

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@trevorseitz502 don’t you mean bah dum tits? I promise I will stop

[@therealsoproxlol]

My niece was 3 almost 4 on my wedding day in December and she flat out REFUSED to take the petals down the aisle… I can’t imagine a 2 year old as flowe girl. The 6 year old understands the job and it would be so special and a great start to their newly blended family life together.

[@iAMwhatIamK]

Having little ones in weddings is a gamble for sure. Stories I’ve heard/witness have included: ring bearer (4) picking his nose the entire way down the aisle, many flower girls crying and screaming to where parents had to intervene, children in various states of dress became kids are messy and have a difficult time staying in fancy clothes. My little sister got to be a flower girl at 6 or 7 and was not only able to calmly walk down the aisle, but even stood next to the bridesmaids the whole ceremony without fussing. I think OP made a good decision-the rest of the fam needs to get out of the sentimentally mindset and think about how little a behave at these types of events.