r/AITA for Getting My Neighbors Arrested?

[@Memyx]

Story 2 - I think it's unfair to give OP a score at all. She was screwed either way. If she told the cousin earlier, the cousin could easily take that as jealousy or an attempt to poison her new relationship with insecurity. Or she holds onto it until her loudmouth mother drops the ball, and the cousin takes it as a slight, anyways. It's a lose-lose situation, and it's ultimately not OPs fault.

[@fdm2155]

OP obviously had Kenney's phone number. Why didn't she call him when she realized they were dating? If she had mentioned it early, it would have been MUCH less bizarre.

[@MrAlfang]

@@fdm2155 She didnt need to to mention anything at all

[@TwighlightLugia]

Yeah like what the hell was she supposed to do? Ring up her cousin and say "by the way I fucked your fiance"? Ring up her ex to say "by the way tell my cousin I've fucked you before"? It's like being told you have to pick between drowning, burning to death, or being put in an electric chair.

[@troompaloompa7618]

I kinda think that anyone's love life isn't really anyone else's business That being said, just because they were with someone else in the past doesn't mean they can't be a good partner for them in the present

[@unknownstranger6394]

I would also think that it would be the boyfriends job to tell her that he used to date her cousin before it would be OP's job. Especially if they were getting serious enough to get engaged and meet family.

[@condorboss3339]

Story 3: I choked a little when the mother told the daughter she would 'be missing out on so much' by not staying home with the baby. As if taking away their child's high school and college experiences are nothing.

[@snake5solid]

Yeah, that horrid. Same as calling OP selfish when they are literally dumping the child into OPs care because they don't want to deal with it. These people are trash.

[@jimbobjones9330]

I know OP is young, but I wish she had countered with "You're right. You'll be missing so much as a mother by not quitting your job and being a SAHM. So you should get right on that. Maybe fix all of the mistakes you made being a non-parent to me."

[@condorboss3339]

@@jimbobjones9330 A real pity is that OP sounds like a really bright young woman. If her parents have large incomes, it will make it hard for her to get financial aid for college.

[@jimbobjones9330]

@@condorboss3339 I'm hoping she gets scholarships and doesn't need to depend on these idiots at all. Plus, if they complain that childcare is "too expensive", do we really think they'll be paying for OP's college?

[@condorboss3339]

@@jimbobjones9330 I'm sure the parents won't contribute a dime, but some student aid programs take the parents' income into account, whether they contribute or not.

[@skepticofdoom7486]

"Why are you on my porch?" "Sorry, this is mine." *shows proof* "oh, cool. Cya." End of interaction.

[@RadiantAngel]

I will admit I'm wondering if the address even showed on the camera well, though. I get OP could just have been acting petty, but I know from having similar cameras that text doesn't always show up well, especially if you wave it fast. And it's not like they have a good relationship either, so running off without confirming it first can look bad. I also wonder how the neighbor even knew his stuff was there without looking through OP's stuff first. There's details missing in the story that makes me wonder if it's more of a ESH at best for the neighbor's case. Not that there's guarantee OP is right, but when I looked at this post ages ago it was already locked before much additional answers could be made.

[@Nebraska60]

@@RadiantAngel there’s no way that OP isn’t mentioning it if the name wasn’t visible on camera.

[@jplayzow]

​@@Nebraska60especially with how slanted the story was

[@Barbeybb]

@@Nebraska60

[@LucyAdroit]

In the second story, the mom is the bigger A-hole here; it wasn't her thing to tell, it was OP's.

[@Tustin2121]

THANK YOU! The mother deserves like a 3.5 for her part in this alone!

[@laurenhayes564]

I’d agree if OP didn’t have adequate time to spill the beans.

[@JimLambier]

If OP had explained to her mother what was going on and had told her that no one else knew and asked her to keep quiet and the mother brought it up..... then mom would have been an AH. Of course the mother would mention that the guys looks like her daughter's old boyfriend. OP is a complete idiot for not expecting that would happen. If I was the mom, I'd be pissed at my daughter for putting me in this situation.

[@LucyAdroit]

@@JimLambier "Putting her into this situation"? She said it unprompted and out loud

[@BubblyBlackbird]

​@Lucy Adroit yeah, because she had no idea that he would be coming and didn't know to expect him. So naturally, when someone shows up to her house and she realizes she already knows him, of course she's going to point it out. Anyone would. That's why OP should have warned the mom, at the very least.

[@insu_na]

Second story is not bad behaviour by OP. Is Kenny her property? Is her cousin devastated because Kenny is "used goods" now? Cousin sucks for being whiny about someone else's dating past.

[@Tustin2121]

Amen. Purity culture is the worst.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@Tustin2121 Just what I was thinking.

[@danaevelyn7384]

I think it’s more about “wow my cousin was planning a future with this guy and never told me how serious they were” and a feeling of betrayal

[@insu_na]

@@danaevelyn7384 It's well and truly in the past tho. As others have already suggested, going to the cousin and saying "You know your boyfriend and I used to date" just reeks of social implications, imo. Especially if she went into such detail as talking about kids etc.

[@InsonaSibel13]

​@@insu_name personally, I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone who dated another family member. Even if they said they're ok with it, I'm not. Just the thought of getting intimate with them knowing they did the same thing with my cousin just feels gross to me and it could maybe be the same reason that the cousin was upset. She didn't really inform either of them about that detail so they could decide if they wanted to pursue their relationship despite it

[@thunderflare59]

Their daughter can graduate at 16 and they are mad about it? What terrible parents.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I wonder if OP can live with another relative instead? And I think she should contact someone like a counselor or a free legal aide hotline to know what steps she can take to prevent her parents from parentifying her

[@bibigamer502]

Why wouldn’t they be upset their losing their ability to abuse their kid for free labour (I’m on OP’s side)

[@dinlupus3196]

no, they are mad because op isn't going to be the parent for them, whats worse

[@autisticwitch7581]

Yeah, they should really get an abortion if they aren't going to be parents.

[@black1917]

@@dinlupus3196 The two are not mutually exclusive.

[@luvondarox]

Claire needs to comprehend that No Father's Rights means No Daddy Money.

[@taylorlibby7642]

Legally it doesn't really work that way. Courts consider the best interests of the child, not the parents

[@NovaGirl8]

​@@taylorlibby7642 it would if he was legally the father. Since he was forced/encouraged to cancel his parental rights, he is legally clear. Now it is up to his conscience if HE wants to give support. Claire is a complete stranger to him even if she was his daughter.

[@Spanu96]

That's why the best thing a man can do is to get a vasectomy and tell to women that want only the kid, but not to see the dude to F. off and get lost.

[@alexis112]

@@Spanu96 Lol exactly but men are too prideful to get a vasectomy and don't care about the consequences or want the woman to be the one to deal with it all.

[@rosa_sanguinem]

​@@taylorlibby7642 🎉

[@biikobeats]

How did bro in story 2 get 1.5 for literally not doing anything wrong, and child abusers get 2.5? C'mon RSlash🤣

[@PyroRoadScout]

Right, like it was a dumb and bad decision but ultimately I don't think it deserves an asshole score

[@shieknel]

Right?!

[@biikobeats]

@@PyroRoadScout I can agree with that. Like obviously it’s something you should bring up, but considering the fact that she didn’t hide the fact out of malice, and she wasn’t even obligated to say anything. The butthole score is crazy.

[@Dog_in_tree]

​@@biikobeats why should they bring it up? I don't get it.

[@wargamesmaster]

It clearly was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of situation, the cousin would either be angry against OP for apparently being a jealous b* who wants to ruin her relationship if she told anything or angry like it was told in the story.

[@juanhaines7295]

Child support story nta that kid is not yours legally. You reap what you sow.

[@thunderflare59]

She came to regret her decision to keep him out of his child's life.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@thunderflare59 doubt it since it sounds like Becca likes to still put ideas into her head. Becca doesn’t want to admit what she did was wrong so she will continue to push her beliefs on Claire

[@BadassHater1]

Looks like OP dodged a bullet on that one. Thanks Becca.

[@ijnyamato1109]

First story is the butthole

[@maggpiprime954]

I've heard the story about OP being forced to give up his parental rights. I am 100% convinced his ex didn't "meet someone else;" she and Becca were already a couple and they just duped OP into giving them a child.

[@anastasiamccarter8029]

I thought the same

[@alinasanchez278]

I can see that

[@BigBadWolfParty]

The only thing I'll say about the first story is that the neighbor, in some states, can be charged trespassing and taking of goods even if the package has the neighbors name and address on it. If OP didn't give them permission to be on their property then in some cases, the neighbor did commit a minor crime. But OP is just a bit too much of a jerk to call the police all the time over everything.

[@DarknessDpa]

The other thing too is that OP also gets packages regularly so while still a little too much, we don't exactly know if that was actually the neighbors package or they said it's theirs but it really wasn't.

[@cielbie8251]

@@DarknessDpa didn't the guy show OP on the ring doorbell his name and address was on the package?

[@DarknessDpa]

@@cielbie8251 That is what was said by them, unfortunately it wasn't proven or not if it actually was theirs.

[@cielbie8251]

@@DarknessDpa Lol, yeah the neighbour who you know lives next door to you and have on video and who knows you have them on video, and literally said out loud they are taking the package. Gonna be *really* hard to catch them again or confirm its really their package without calling the cops. So sneaky. Not once does OP say that they thought it was not their package.

[@jetin335]

Agreed, but the neighbors still aren’t as clean as Rslash says. R: “They fixed the problem with dog.” And they still asked OP to pay half, that’s not OP’s responsibility. R: “the tree is on your property” Yes, the tree is ALSO on OP’s property, the neighbors asked and OP said No, it’s done there. This is a Two yes, A one No. If tree is a Hazard, that’s one thing, but branches in your Drive is not a Hazard, it’s just annoying. Regardless, the neighbors want it down, then they can pay for all of it, stop trying to get OP to foot the bill And OP should be reasonable and say Yes, but they don’t need to pay. TL:DR both are equally the A-Hole

[@josephinenelan4204]

Story 2: NTA. If the cousin had an issue with her fiance’s past she should have asked him more questions. If he didn’t like then, they were incompatible. Not OP’s relationship not OP’s problem.

[@jimbobjones9330]

That... doesn't make any sense. Do you ask all of your partners "did you used to date my cousin?"

[@stepbro9042]

@@jimbobjones9330why do you need to and why do you care, it’s their past relationships, just because it’s someone you know doesn’t make it any different than if they dated someone random

[@jimbobjones9330]

@@stepbro9042 It does make it different though if they were close enough that they were thinking of being together long-term. It's nice to pretend that it doesn't (which everyone here seems to be doing because in 2023, that's the thing to say) If you're seeing this person at family events constantly, it's going to make those events awkward. Plus, most people aren't ok with the idea that someone had a long-term sexual relationship with someone they're related to. At very least, that person should at least let them know before it gets serious. So, yeah -- OP should have at least done them the courtesy of letting them know. She should have given the cousin and the ex the option of "opting out" early in the relationship. But OP chose to take that choice away from them, which is crappy behavior. I'm not saying it's "top of the heap a-hole behavior", but it definitely deserves an a-hole score.

[@soggydonut1143]

@@jimbobjones9330 Soooooo by your logic, you should have a list written, printed and willing to hand over to EVERY partner you ever meet. Just in case they happen to know some of the people you dated/slept with in the past. So you better get to writing.

[@randomtinypotatocried]

@@jimbobjones9330 Not even my husband and I know all each other's past exs. It's not that big of a deal

[@supersaiyantravis6962]

The fact that RSlash not only gave OP a bad guy score in story 2, but didn't even for a second consider giving the mom a bad guy score is honestly kind of disgusting. That's a real bad take, RSlash. Some of these other comments hit it on the head that OP was darned if they did darned if they didn't, it's pretty nuanced what course of action would've had the best chance of causing the least drama and hurt feelings.

[@tomaibetter]

For the last story, I can't help but imagine a wooden fence with a pregnant belly poking up like a shark fin and the jaws theme playing.

[@ScooterBond1970]

[OMINOUS ZOOM ON ROY SCHEIDER]

[@BeeWhistler]

@@ScooterBond1970 We’re gonna need a bigger fence. (is what they should have said)

[@arithefierysecretary6411]

As a new mom who just had her twins at 36 weeks three days ago, this almost made me bust my C-section stitches laughing! 😂😂😂😂

[@AzureKyle]

Ikr? Ultimately, if you don't want to see your pregnant neighbor, don't look into her yard. She is free to do as she pleases in her own property. Sounds more like the neighbors are being creeps looking into her yard from their deck.

[@annied1827]

​@Ari the Fiery Secretary congratulations on the birth of your twins I hope you are all happy and well. Remember to take time for yourself and get time to relax l, and enjoy them while they are ikkle and cute as they turn in horrible teenagers before you know it !! 😀 I'm impressed you got to 36 weeks you got way further than did I had my kids wt 31 and 26 weeks so I'm always proud of mums who get further than I did as i know pregnancy is hard on mum i was fed up and i didnt even get as for as you did lol take care and look after yourself xx 😊

[@Samhwain]

Story 2: I don't think OP needed to explain anything to their niece. Maybe they should have warned and asked their mother not to say anything but past relationships are just that; past. And if it's far enough in the past then it has no real bearing on the present. The girl is definitely over-reacting; I don't blame the guy for blocking OP however. That whole situation blew up in his face too and caused him who-knows-how-much trouble/ stress that could have easily been avoided with a 'hey, mom. don't mention this.' (because honestly, by the time you're an adult you KNOW what your parents are like and know when you should prep them to not mention a topic, please & thank you) Edit to add: Why is it only OP's job to inform the girl of the past relationship? Wouldn't the boyfriend also be at fault for not mentioning it? I know OP said something about them not knowing about the relationship between OP and the GF but, like, a year into the relationship and information like that WILL have surfaced at some point. So as far as OP knows, he didn't know. But he very well could have, and could have explained to his GF himself. It's HIS responsibility to discuss HIS past relationships with HIS GF; not the relative who might have been that past relationship. The relative isn't the one dating her.

[@cooltigergirl14]

Yes, thank you. I was looking for anyone to think of the boyfriend having some responsibility here too

[@ElleD308]

Are you insane?! First of all, the boyfriend DID mention it as soon as he realized they were family. That's the only reason why the fiancee knows they dated. Second... How crazy are you that you think it's ok to have secrets like this? Would you be ok being the idiot that thinks she's super in love and trying to get your man and your cousin/sister/nice to hang out more not knowing she was pregnant with his baby a few years before? That every time you leave the room they'll talk about what happened? That whenever she sees your man will remember how she was in your place while you're too stupid to notice? What the hell is wrong with your brain?!

[@CastelEown]

I wanted to see if anyone brought up the boyfriend not saying anything either. Exactly !

[@RaidenlLucifer]

People who try to turn their kids into second or third parents deserve a lot more than 2.5 on the scale

[@avashnea]

r/Slash saves higher scores for men that do nothing wrong because he's misandrist.

[@BubblyBlackbird]

​@@avashnea huh??

[@avashnea]

@@BubblyBlackbird He usually gives guys higher a hole score for doing the exact same thing as women do, or haven't done ANYTHING wrong. He's a misandrist and shows it with his double standards.

[@vernonharden]

A six out of five is what both parents would get, and the daughter a minus one out of five.

[@box0choco593]

​@@avashnea Give me specific examples.

[@OurHeroXero]

I am curious (in the first story) how the neighbors knew their package was delivered to OPs address. I mean, if it was delivered by Fedex/UPS/etc... and the neighbors were checking their e-mail/tracking notification, saw the truck/delivery person drop a package off at OPs place, and there was a delivery confirmation...I could see that as a reasonable belief...but if the neighbor was just blindly checking OPs packages then that's a problem. Also, just because the neighbor attempted to display the name/address, doesn't mean it was in focus/readable to the video footage; OP might not have been able to confirm it was theirs/the neighbors. Tampering with mail is a federal offense. I will agree, OP may be painting themselves in a good light and exaggerating the situations with their neighbors. It would be interesting to hear the neighbors accounting of events.

[@teslagod7221]

The fact that the cops arrived and confronted the neighbors, then the neighbors didn't get in any other trouble or didn't took the package, gives a pretty good chance the neighbors only took what is theirs...

[@MisaMisaIsOnTop]

A lot of places take pictures of the package being delivered

[@DarkEinherjar]

I see you're slowly reverting back to "b-hole" instead of "bad guy", as it should've been. 😁

[@EmoCow5]

I don’t know why but it brings me so much joy hearing “butthole” instead of “bad guy”.

[@ginabell694]

​@@EmoCow5same I was excited. It's such a weird thing to be excited for that but I am

[@kespeth2]

I guess the Karen brigade finally let up on that.

[@BenKonosky]

​@@kespeth2 yea, illuminaughtii has bigger issues to deal with other than keeping up with her crusade against him.

[@Mewse1203]

KZbin rechanged their rules back to more reasonable

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4: they can't have it both ways, they can't have you give up all parental rights but still pay child support. They're probably trying to guilt you because they know they can't take you to court, at least not without the possibility of you demanding custody. Tell your family that it's not up to them and you will not talk about it with them.

[@dinlupus3196]

they have the audacity of calling him a deadbeat when they obliged him to go away , selfish, entitled and just plain stupid.and lets be honest, they probably aren't going to spend that money in the child but in whatever thing they struggling with.

[@superphantom100]

@@dinlupus3196 how much you want to bet they are lying to this child either about them being adopted, having a sperm donor, or telling the child that the father just left without explanation.

[@black1917]

@@superphantom100 Or The farm.

[@superphantom100]

@@black1917 the farm?

[@black1917]

@@superphantom100 You asked what we'd be willing to bet. I'd bet the farm.

[@silverflight01]

Story 4: She didn't want OP to be involved, so that's final. Yes, OP is technically the father in a biological standpoint, but he waived his rights because Becca didn't want him in the kid's lives, he doesn't need to pay Claire child support. You can't go both ways, you can't just have someone not be a father, and then suddenly decide the opposite just for the money. It does not work that way

[@lorilancaster5917]

OP is only an AH for waiving his rights but Becca was even more of an AH for bullying OP and encouraging Claire to get OP out of the picture.

[@miniman649]

​@@lorilancaster5917 how is op an ah for waiving his rights, when that is what others basically demanded of him?

[@hitmonkey2984]

​@@lorilancaster5917 I dunno. If someone tells you they don't want you in their life, then who are you to decide otherwise? Sure the kid could have used a father, but she let whatsherjunk pressure her into discarding him. She gets 3.5/5 and the mother of the child gets 4.5/5 for going along with the dumbass scheme.

[@hitmonkey2984]

​@@miniman649 right? It's a damned if he didn't because he'd have been being misogynistic, for ignoring her stupid request. But he now gets one for listening to her stupid request. Like. Pick one, either he's not an ah or he's not an ah. Choice is clear

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@miniman649 if OP wants to be a father then he shouldn’t be forced to give up his rights. Becca mainly didn’t want him in their lives and Claire went along with it. If OP didn’t want to be a father I may could understand but there wouldn’t have been a battle to begin with

[@randommushu_kas]

Especially with the first story, she said she calls the cops on parties but never mentions just going and talking to people first. Her first response is to always get the cops involved

[@RadiantAngel]

I'm mixed about talking to neighbors first being the expected first response. If we lived in a perfect world, it would be that easy. However there's a lot that can go wrong with trying this too. First, there's plenty of cases of the neighbor getting offended and even threatening no matter how nice you're about it (AITA alone is full of these type of situations). Then you're potentially stuck with a neighbor that not only doesn't listen but also gives them someone to point their ire toward later. Second, if you need to escalate with cops later if things get worse, such as talking not working or worse the neighbors doing illegal things to you in retaliation, they will know you're the one that called the cops. Heck, a different neighbor can later call the cops if the problem also affects them and you can get blamed for it. While I am fortunate enough to have cool neighbors I can discuss things in a civil way, not everyone is that lucky.

[@75ur15]

For the dog and the package situatuon she did talk to them first. Can't speak to the parties whether or not she did. As for the package was theirs, how would he know that at first, and she had a package notification...with a dispute already in progress I wouldn't take his word for it either...and he was trespassing. It is a bad situation all around.

[@patrickshields6954]

​@@75ur15 If it was Amazon, they are required to show a picture of the delivery. It's real easy to tell if it's not your porch. Still, waiting a few minutes to get the package from the housesitter isn't an unreasonable request. I'm on the everybody sucks side. Part of AITA is supposed to be using the situation at face value.

[@JimLambier]

@@RadiantAngel I have found that about 1/2 of the time neighbors will apologize and the problem stops and 1/2 of the time it turns worse. Last year, we had a group of neighbors decide to start drinking and let off fireworks next to our shared fence. The idiots had them pointed at an angle and the thing were raining down on our roof and neighbors kids in their backyard. My wife decided to be nice and ask them to stop and explain what was happening. The result was being sworn at and threatened with my wife having a panic attack. What did work was research on the internet and finding out the name of the condo management for their property. A call to them and threats of suing for damage and notifying their insurance company if the issue continued resolved the problem. Experience has taught me to just call the cops. In this story however, I think OP was just crazy for her reaction.

[@ocanhaTheEditor]

Just because

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 4: you reap what you sow! Claire didn’t want you being a father 13 years ago, made you sign over all parental rights, and didn’t let you be involved at all. Now she’s demanding money because something happened, and that’s just tough luck.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Last story: first of all I would have called them out for going to my husband about my body instead of me. 2nd unless you're naked in the pool, they need to get over themselves.

[@eireworm]

Simple solution: stop looking into my garden if you don’t like what you see

[@Someone-else-Probably]

Imagine every time you walk out your back door the outline of your neighbors fat throbbing bulge is visible through his speedo. Sometimes bodies are gross and thoroughly covering them is polite even if it's not legally required.

[@Luke13579]

its not there fault that they can see into the pool and it would not cause her any harm to cover herself its just polite

[@AzureKyle]

@@Luke13579 If they don't want to see it, they can get a bigger fence. OP is free to do as she wishes in her own backyard. You don't like it, either don't look into her yard, or get a bigger fence so you can't see into her yard. It's not her problem, it's theirs.

[@dultaging]

2nd story: Why let them know? I legit dont see the issue here, the niece is overreacting and the past relation doesnt matter, i think it just felt odd bc the mom was acting up... 0 buttholes for anyone exept the mom which i'd give 0.5

[@chrisbennett916]

Yes! I agree with this. It’s a past relationship, who cares? Just ask the guy if he has feelings for op and if no you’re golden

[@josephinenelan4204]

@@chrisbennett916 I think the idea of riding the same D your relative did is repulsive to some people. And, women tend to be more emotional so a face you know is not the same as a faceless person from the past or someone who you won’t interact with ever again. But you never know who feels that way and OP very well could’ve been called a jealous creep if she brought it up soon. Rock in a hard place.

[@notasquiremario3299]

EXACTLY!!! WHY DOES THE COUSIN NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY DATED??? IT WAS IN THE PAST!!!

[@JB-ew6pi]

THANK YOU! Now I know I’m not crazy for thinking this was blown WAY out of proportion by the cousin. Rofl

[@bibigamer502]

@@notasquiremario3299 I have a feeling Op’s cousin wanted to know every little detail about Op and was upset that she didn’t get this one at all

[@mcore0007]

If it was Op's responsibility to tell her about the pregnancy scare, then it was also the boyfriend's responsibility.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

He didn't know in advance like OP did. OP did. One he found out the connection, he was up front about it.

[@llamaniaman4002]

I don't think he knew about them being related so there would be no reason to mention OP by name or mention the pregnancy scare.

[@orchidoxs126]

I mean he did when he found out. Did you listen to the story??

[@sanc6284]

​​@@slytherinlibrarian3501 unless the cousin was constantly talking to OP about her bf, then there was nothing to say. And why wouldn't he share that he was once in a serious relationship and almost had a kid? Also, it's not like he was an abuser or put the cousin in danger. Just sounds like the cousin feels weird about it. Also it sounds like OP and Kenny were no longer close so...

[@mcore0007]

It just seems weird to me that Op's mom was the only one to make the connection between the bf and the cousin out of all the people in both of their social circles. If this was a small to medium-sized town, then I'm not buying it.

[@wahababdul4529]

With the first story also, if the fence is the single fence that divides the properties, it’s pretty normal for neighbours to split the cost

[@jimbobjones9330]

I also love that they're like "technically, the fence is on their property", but then when it came to cutting down the tree, suddenly whose property it's on doesn't matter.

[@KattoTang]

Also they could just keep their goddamn cats inside, or get a catio. Fences do *not* keep cats contained, especially chain link fences, so there isn't any instance where those cats are safe being out there. OP reminds me of some neighbors my mom had. Said neighbors had a cat they'd allow to roam outside, and their cat used to regularly come onto our property and get into our garbage bins, shredding the bags and making a mess. One time it got into another neighbor's enclosed porch and mauled that other neighbor's cat, but the shitty neighbors refused to help with the vet bills. Our area was heavily wooded and had a lot of wildlife, as well as feral cats, and when their cat got into a fight or got attacked by some wild animal at like 3 in the morning, just outside their house, the woman came over screeching that our dog had attacked their cat. They never saw our dog, probably because our dog was asleep in her kennel in our house, like every night, because she wasn't let out after 11pm, but that didn't matter, it had to be our dog! And her husband was a state trooper so we were going to be arrested and she'd sue us and blah blah blah.

[@avashnea]

@@KattoTang Yes, they should keep their cats inside, but the neighbors should also take control of their dogs and not be irresponsible assholes.

[@KattoTang]

@@avashneaFirst off, OP should keep their cats inside regardless of the neighbor having a dog or not. Secondly, they literally DID take control, by building a bigger fence when they were told there was a problem. Literally more responsible than OP. Yeah, they asked OP to split the cost, but like, so what? It doesn't hurt to ask, and it seems like they accepted the "no" and dealt with it anyway. But if OP were a responsible cat owner, there wouldn't have been a problem to begin with.

[@avashnea]

@@KattoTang Oh definitely. Like I've said in other replies, responsible cat owners keep their cats inside or have a catio. Even a screen room would be better than outside.

[@sarahserenityqueen117]

Honestly rslash OP in story 2 is NTA. She probably was conflicted and didn't want to disturb her cousin's happiness and Kenny's. She probably didn't want to make it awkward because honestly its a lose/lose situation. Which in this case she did lose both people in her life that was important to her.

[@ladysollua]

Child support story: dude needs a lawyer. If they want money, they should give him back his rights and allow him to visit the kid.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Problem is at this point there is no telling what Claire and Becca have told the child and likely has further poisoned any relationship. And it sounds like OP is fine with being involved. Heck! Nothing is mentioned about the child except they want child support.

[@dinlupus3196]

i have the feeling that the ex is going to portrait op like a horrible person and father who didn't want to stay around, so the child wouldn't want to see him, that way he still can't be with his child and the ex keep the money

[@clayfan3]

the last story made me so sad, why do people always forget we CAME FROM a pregnant woman who spent months in incredible discomfort to create us

[@HEXQuantum]

We also came from a naked guy too, why would I want to see that floating out side my deck too? The neighbors were nice enough to ask, op should at least be considerate.

[@rainingwhenidie]

Bruh I know this reply did not just compare someone having their genitals out to someone's stomach being exposed. I guess when you have such a large audience, there's naturally gonna be some idiots in there too 💀💀💀

[@EnvyVGrimm]

​@Hexlord op isn't naked they have a 2 piece on what more do you want? It's not like they have nothing on, and some 2 piece swimsuits cover more than some one pieces do.

[@lokilaufeyson7035]

@@HEXQuantum look at this lil incel, metioning naked dudes🤡

[@QuietChaos1996]

​@@HEXQuantum Now you're being a butthole. You can't see that OP has every right to wear whatever the hell she wants in HER backyard. In HER pool. She is being considerate for wearing a two piece swimsuit when she could have just gone in her pool, butt ass naked. Not to mention, you're sounding like a misogynistic butthole with your comment. Pregnant women should be able to wear whatever they choose to wear. They're in discomfort from being pregnant and the water helps them. The neighbor doesn't have to keep LOOKING at OP in her pool. They could put up a taller fence or just completely IGNORE HER.

[@dedbot9872]

Second Story: OP is not responsible for telling their cousin about their dating life, that's the fiance's job if and only if he is comfortable in sharing that.

[@_scatterbrains]

the finace didn't know though, OP kept it from both of them

[@CaseyJewels]

Unless I'm misremembering the story/missed a detail, it's a little unclear if the fiancé had disclosed prior relationships (just without specifying the who). The cousin could have been fine with it until she learned it was with OP. Either way, though, nobody knew the complications of this meeting except OP, who told no one.

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 3; your child is not free labour, your child is not there to be used, neglected and abused, but it sounds like OPs parents checked out of parenting a really long time ago and fully expect OP to look after their child so they don’t have to bother being parents. Escape now OP, see if you can stay with a relative, find a way of escaping because they will dump their kid on you and tell you to “deal with it”.

[@helenagoodwin7343]

Also, as a trainer, being like, "why don't you just train your dog to not jump the fence??" when the prey instinct in specific breeds takes a SIGNIFICANT amount of time to train out of them, and it's overall safer for your cats if you just install the taller fence right off the bat. I didn't think it was super unreasonable at all since it is a shared fence.

[@jennifert8542]

My thoughts exactly. My dog has a huge prey drive. It'd take me probably months maybe years to get him to stop chasing animals

[@etcetera1995]

Hell, don't let your cat out. It's bad for the cats and it's bad for what the cats hunt because *domestic cats are invasive.* I've loved every cat I owned, this isn't said because I dislike cats but they need to stay inside.

[@silverselkie1692]

​@Ruth Nield okay, but if the cat is in their yard and doesn't leave it, there isn't a problem. Also leashes are a thing they can just leash their dog.

[@thunderflare59]

Why didn't she keep her cats indoors?

[@RexxTheFirst]

Exactly!!!!! They’re highly invasive and cause so many issues for our native species!!

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: says the parents are trying to push their child on their daughter. You are not an adult, and you did not help make that baby. If they don't want to never kid to take care of they put the child up for adoption then give it to someone that is willing to take care of them, not force their sixteen-year-old daughter to be a mom. Their entire argument can be thrown right back at them because anything you're not willing to do they're not willing to do and it's worse because there's a parents. They're going to milk the hell out of you while they can now that's they know you aren't on board by the way.

[@BeeWhistler]

There’s a special place in hell for these folks. Yeah, there’s decidedly worse parents, but the audacity to have no involvement with a child and then expect them to take care of your next one? That’s what happened in my husband’s family. Thank goodness he’s no contact now.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 3: NTA. With the way that op described her parents, she would definitely be parentified. Story 4: op’s ex didn’t want op in their baby’s life. Op fought for custody, lost, and got his parental rights revoked. Again, the ex didn’t want op in their child’s life.

[@AzureKyle]

He didn't fight for custody, just asked to be involved in the child's life, but was talked out of it and into willingly giving up his rights to the child. He didn't get them revoked. He probably could have fought for custody if he wanted to, he just didn't.

[@PlantNeptune]

story 2: the op doesn’t deserve an AH score at all? because if she would’ve told the cousin, it would have been “ you’re only telling you because you’re still in love with him” and if anyone gets a score it should be the mom for literally announcing it to everyone when it’s obvious neither of them wanted to bring it up or talk about it??????

[@AtotehZ]

Story 2 - The only possibility of a good ending is the one OP chose. Getting in the way of the cousin being with a guy she's in love with by telling her about the past, would not have been ideal. It would have disrupted their relationship as it was beginning. Same thing goes for talking to Kenny about it. OP chose for them to have the possibility of being happy, even at the cost of her own remaining ties to him. They chose not to see it that way.

[@knowwhoiamyet]

What on earth is wrong in Story 2, I don't get it? It's nobody's business who you had past relationships with, and provided it's not an ongoing thing *while* they're with someone else... Who even cares? So what if my family member or cousin or friend dated someone before I did? As long as they're not cheating on me with said family member or friend, it doesn't matter. You are not obliged to tell, NOR are you a butthole for not telling people about your past relationships. This whole situation reeks of manipulation on OP's family's side. An old friend that, while they drifted apart, suddenly blocks them? I smell something foul. Like an insecure partner telling you to block someone or else foul. Remaining silent on what you believe is an otherwise happy, healthy relationship so as to not instill bias is perfectly fine by me. NTA.

[@microwavesgommmmmmm]

if it’s your FAMILY MEMBER nah that’s different

[@rellikspy]

​@@microwavesgommmmmmm do you regularly hand out spreadsheets to your family and exes containing a list of all your family and exes so they don't accidentally overlap? Don't forget to send yearly updates as people are born/married/adopted into the family

[@biikobeats]

@@microwavesgommmmmmm Not really. It’s the same story.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@microwavesgommmmmmm No it's not.

[@avashnea]

@@microwavesgommmmmmm No, it isn't.

[@lil-mochi1579]

I dont get giving the second story a score, op didn't exactly do anything wrong, I don't understand the whole "What was she thinking?" In what way was the situation her fault

[@goofyrat2938]

Okay, imo she didn’t do anything wrong for liking someone and dating them - but I feel like I’d be pissed if neither my partner nor my cousin told me that they f**ked beforehand had a pregnancy scare.. yikes. Especially since they op knew about it when they started dating and chose not to say anything. I mean yeah, that is your information to disclose if you want to - but it’s not exactly wrong to get upset finding out the way you did. Partner was in the wrong more than anyone honestly - how do you not tell your fiancé that you screwed her cousin? 💀

[@1Kapuchu100]

rSlash: Story 1, you have NO reason to believe that the neighbour really was just grabbing "their own" package. OP made no mention of if the name and address actually matched. Only the Neighbour's claim that it really WAS theirs.

[@MisaMisaIsOnTop]

OP was acting like a bitter asshole the whole story. OP probably never said the address on the package because it most likely actually was the neighbors. Op never said what was in the package and the police never arrested the neighbors which means that the package was most likely theirs. And are we just gonna gloss over the fact that the neighbor SHOWED THE NAME AND ADDRESS THAT WAS ON THE PACKAGE TO OP. Because that would mean the neighbor had proved it was their package. And we are also gonna gloss over that OP called the police and wasted their time when they could have been answering to an actual emergency.

[@ruthdubb3274]

“Get your dildos off the bathroom mirror” is one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever heard.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, YTA: I’m not going to lie, OP needs to stop calling the cops on minor things. This is a waste of the cop's time when an actual emergency could be happening. I have to agree with the neighbor, OP needs to stop using the cops as a personal problem solver. The fact OP called the cops for him taking his own package home is insane. OP is causing problems that don't need to be caused. The neighbors are being the normal neighbors while OP is being the Karen here Second Story, NTA: Why does OP have to reveal something that happened in the past? OP's cousin is making it seem like they were together recently and recently broke up but this happened years ago. I just don't get the feeling of betrayal when they wasn't together recently and haven't even spoken to each other for a long time. OP's mom is an AH for what she did, that was needlessly unnecessary and she didn't need to make things awkward between OP and Kenny Third Story, NTA: Using the oldest child as a free babysitter/a second parent is a form of child abuse in my eyes. The CHILD is not responsible for their younger siblings, that falls on the actual parents themselves. Why should OP make sacrifices when she didn't choose to have a sibling, they did. How is it selfish to refuse to revolve one's life on another's? Fourth Story, NTA: Wow, crazy how Claire is calling OP a deadbeat when she is the one who took OP's kid away from him and made it clear that she didn't want OP to be in the child's life. Now that both Claire and Becca are having issues they Claire suddenly want OP to pay child support? Claire only sees OP as a walking atm and not the father of their child Fifth Story, NTA: Ummm who does that? Who just leave their sex toys out like that? I mean, if u are living alone then do whatever but if u have roommates, why do that? No one wants to go to the bathroom one day and get slapped in the face by a dildo (even worse, a recently used one) Comment: I agree Sixth Story, NTA: Lmao OP is in her pool on her property, if they don't like looking at OP's pregnant stomach (for some reason that makes them uncomfortable) then they shouldn't look at all. Why should OP make herself uncomfortable because they can't help but stare into OP's backyard

[@lorilancaster5917]

My issue with the story is was the package really the neighbors or OPs? She said the neighbor crammed the package into the camera but she didn’t say whether or not she saw the address. They still shouldn’t have gone on her property

[@Theodris]

@@lorilancaster5917 L Take.

[@Jinx-z2g]

@@Theodris🤓🤡❄️

[@Jinx-z2g]

@@lorilancaster5917idk op mentioned cat meds delivered often (total bs btw, cats dont take so much meds on regular so often) but anyways without proof being shown and op not seeing whose address was on that package we wont know for sure. And if its located in the UK then calling cops on those neighbours due to those late night loud butt parties is a good take tbf, loud music cannot be played between 11pm and 7am and if it is then it will be treated as anti social behaviour.

[@Human-kb6xc]

@@lorilancaster5917 That's my thing. OP did not give them permission to be there and told them to wait until her friend got there, which the friend got there in a short amount of time. Was it REALLY that important of a package that they needed it RIGHT THEN? Then to shove the package into the camera suggests to me that the neighbors were trying to "show" her without her clearly being able to see the name and address. Taking a package off someone else's porch is always suspicious. (Literally a nosey neighbor could have just as easily called the cops on the neighbor because they were on someone else's porch taking a package). Simply put, the neighbor could have waited until OP was home or at least until her friend was there.

[@DarkZoma]

As you said for the first story, it's kinda hard to rate either neighbor, but I can kinda see both sides about the package. Packages can be accidentally delivered to the wrong house so the neighbors have that reason to suspect their package was delivered to the wrong address when they got their notification of the delivery. There's also op's side where op is basically having a spat with the neighbors and also worrying about package theft while away from home with concerns over medicine for their cat and it the coincidence both op and neighbor getting a package that day and it one getting delivered to the wrong house is a bit suspicious. I also don't know exactly how well the name and address appeared on the ring doorbell camera. So it could just appear that the neighbor flashed the address but not showing up well. So take that as you will. I could be entirely wrong but I'm just trying to see both sides .

[@RadiantAngel]

All this bugged me when I found the post a while ago and I read the comments. The post got locked early, so it's unlikely much additional questions can be answered either.

[@GeneralArin]

First story: I can understand the problems op has at the beginning but yeah you get way too fast and loose about calling the cops, and I agree with rslash Third story: um. Not to be rude but if it's a surprise and unwanted, why not abort or adopt? That seems really mean and irresponsible to keep a kid you expressly don't want to raise. Like, doing that for a dog is already irresponsible but this is a whole human being. Yikes.

[@DayKiyokki]

Abortion is illegal in many states now, and the adoption is looked down upon in certain households and families.

[@geofffisher9886]

How about you don't take a package off someone else's porch

[@DayKiyokki]

@@geofffisher9886 it was their package and they showed her proof

[@taylorlibby7642]

Occasionally I get a neighbors mail misdelivered to my mailbox. I will very happily walk it down the street to their house, but I'd be justifiably pissed to see them pawing through my mailbox on my porch looking for it, and I'd probably call the cops on them if I was out of town at the time. Stay off of other peoples property.

[@taylorlibby7642]

​@@DayKiyokki But not their porch. Stay off of other peoples property.

[@Salaundre]

The second story there isn’t any solution that would prevent her cousin from having a negative experience and damaging the relationship between her and OP. The reaction that happed proves it. If she had been up front OP would have been treated with suspicion and animosity because she would be a threat to the relationship. It was lose lose.

[@bloodmooncomics2249]

Story 3: "You will out so much on life", but want them to not do anything and watch the kid all the time instead of having a life. They just want the free babysitting.

[@marylowther8495]

Story two: OP did the right thing. What options did she have? Best to say nothing and hope Mom doesn't make a big deal about it. For OP this was a lose/lose situation.

[@dracko158]

Story 1: YTA. Sis, that package is the neighbor's, not yours. He even showed you the address on the package, but you still decide to be Karen and call the cops on him anyway? The Neighbor is right, stop using the police as your own problem solving service, you are literally wasting police time on trivial matters that isn't even the neighbor's fault. Stop playing the victim and painting others in a bad light, *Karen.*

[@test-kf2zv]

At first I thought OP had just ignored the proof that it was his package, but it turns out she knew, she just reported him anyway. Wow. It really makes me question the validity of everything else she said.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

NTA because the dude did did go on op’s property

[@engineer9975]

Depending on the camera the text can be completely illegible. The neighbor could’ve knocked on the door or rung the video doorbell to be to say “hey my package was dropped off at your place” or just not taken it off the porch without talking to someone. Even if it is theirs, it looks sketchy.

[@N0xiety]

@@Batman-lg2zj Well, since you are being so technical, guess you won't even be able to knock on doors these days, because it would technically be going on someone's property, and you technically shouldn't do that without their permission, so Batman 2023, no more knocking on doors for you from here on out pal or you will be a hypocrite AH...

[@ghoullovinbutch]

@@N0xiety bro have you missed the headlines in the states where kids have been getting shot for less?

[@cfredtmbg]

Story 2: NTA, though that’s mostly because I feel like the cousin needs to grow up emotionally. This isn’t a big deal, and IMO making it a big deal comes off as emotionally insecure. Take it from experience, if you trust your partner this is pretty much a non-issue.

[@jadediquattro5355]

Last Story: It's not like she's going to be doing that for much longer in the pool. Can't her stuck up neighbors just deal with it for a couple of months?

[@JimLambier]

If the baby in her belly is causing that much distress, imagine what it's going to be like in a few years once it's born and yelling while playing in the pool.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Or just not look? OP is just lounging in her pool minding her business. It’s not like she’s jumping naked on a trampoline?

[@Luke13579]

@@lorilancaster5917 it wouldnt cause her any harm to cover herself it depends alot on how the houses are situated

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@Luke13579 she’s wearing a bathing suit in her own pool in her own yard. You must be the prudish neighbor

[@WolfgangDoW]

@@Luke13579 covering up more is hard with a huge pregnant belly You know what causes less harm though? NOT LOOKING

[@lilithmarleen]

Last story: if I were those neighbors, I would build a taller fence. Pregnancy freaks me out! Also, tokophobia is a thing that exists - look it up. That being said, I would never ask another person to change their behavior on their own private property. Hence, taller fence.

[@spiralthedragon9847]

Glad I'm not the only one tbh 😬😬

[@HeyGob]

Story 1: As someone with a ring doorbell; I can actually see her side of things. Even with the best ring doorbell; the video isn't 100% perfect. Even tested it out myself. I held a package up to my ring doorbell and replayed the footage. I could barely read the delivery address from the ring footage. So yeah; she's an asshole; but so are the neighbors. Even if the package was his; he trespassed onto HER PROPERTY. I don't care if it was his package or not. You went onto private property and took something off the property. It's like when your kid kicks a ball and it lands in the neighbors backyard. You don't just hop the fence and take it back. No. You go to the front door, explain what happened and let the owner [or whomever is watching the home] go get it. Why? It's not your property. If you're not given permission to be on it; you are trespassing.

[@Human-kb6xc]

THIS. He could have waited.

[@QuayHollywood]

Agreed. I wouldn't call her a Karen so much as to just being a bad neighbor and annoying not everyone deserves the title of Karen save that for the special breed of people.

[@Zapdroid1]

This is more of a situation where a kid kicks a ball and it lands in the neighbours front yard. It is completely unreasonable to be upset that they go on the neighbour’s property to retrieve it. Yes, they are technically trespassing, but if you cared about such a minor infraction you have serious issues. OP’s initial reaction was fine as they were expecting a package and it looked like the neighbour was stealing it, but everything afterwards was just ridiculous behaviour.

[@gaxalee7392]

I got to that part and was just thinking, “why the f is he nosing around other people’s property?” I understand wanting your stuff, but you don’t dig through other people’s mail to find it.

[@RadiantAngel]

Thank you. This is what I tried explaining in other comments but you worded it better. I have a similar camera too.

[@Tisapanda]

Story 3 is why no one in my house wants children. My oldest roomie raised her brothers. Then he (other roomie) at 14 raised their adopted brother. My wife raised her brothers and I raised my sister's kid for a while there because our mom couldn't bother to help her with her postpartum. I also got baby trapped by an ex gf because I was 19 and dumb. But when our parents asked if any of us were having kids we went; why would I? I raised yours, I don't want anymore kids. We're in our 40s, mid 30s and I'm 31. They finally stopped asking us, lol.

[@danieparke2881]

The first story may not be as entitled, Karen's don't care about other people's animals. Not enough to say training could work. The parties I'm unsure of, 1/3 times the cops wouldn't show up, or care in my area. The package thing I think people are under reacting about, what if it was her package? What if her cat would've had a medical emergency and needed whatever was in the package? Would y'all allow people to come up on your property and grab their package? Or would y'all think that they were stealing your package that you have a notification that it was delivered?

[@vorpalhit5952]

Story 2. How dare Kenny date someone before her! She's being pathetic. NTA

[@sailorstar3148]

It would’ve been a lose lose situation anyways even if OP’s told them or not

[@microwavesgommmmmmm]

bro dating two members of the same family should be addressed

[@vorpalhit5952]

@@microwavesgommmmmmm cousins in different cities. If she was so bothered she should have asked for his body count, but he's not allowed to ask for hers.

[@microwavesgommmmmmm]

@@vorpalhit5952 that doesn’t make any sense it’s just basic respect to tell someone if you used to date someone in their family or else *gasp* exactly what will happen in the story will happen

[@vorpalhit5952]

@@microwavesgommmmmmm it must be so romantic when you pull out your extended family tree and go, "SEE THESE NAMES?! HAVE YOU FUCKED ANYONE OF THESE PEOPLE!!" or you know its none of their business who you dated prior

[@krystalfloods6197]

To be fair, I wonder how long he held the package to the camera and if she really could see that it wasn’t hers? She was already irritated because of past behavior so of course she’s not going to believe him and take him at his word. Everyone is so quick to call someone a Karen

[@dl200010]

Bad Neighbor: No, OP is in the right. They should NOT have been on his property at all. Once OP goes to get the package and sees their address and name, then he would have to give it to them. Allowing them to just take things off his property sets a precedent that the neighbor will just do this even when it is not his package.

[@RisingRevengeance]

How did he even know it was his package to begin with? Was "bad loser neighboor" plastered all over it?

[@onyxdragon1179]

​@@RisingRevengeance he had his name on the package, wasn't that clear in the story?

[@RisingRevengeance]

@@onyxdragon1179 You dont see something that small unless you go up to the door and look at it

[@onyxdragon1179]

@@RisingRevengeance it is not THAT small that you can't see it on a camera. Unless you hold it far and/or are shaking like Jell-O, the name and address (or at the very least the name, which is on *bold* ) should be visible.

[@RisingRevengeance]

@@onyxdragon1179No but it is THAT small that the neighboor couldnt see it unless he came up and looked at it so he had no business being there.

[@TJDious]

OP1: No, this is an everyone's the AH situstion. "Our dog keeps jumping into your yard, you should help pay for a better fence" and "help pay for us to take down a tree you don't care about" are AH moves.

[@mwokozi]

Yeah both sides suck because they are in a shit slinging contests.

[@IWasaTeenageTeenWolf]

The neighbors in the first story are damn lucky the OP didn't shoot their dog for invading their property. In some states, you see a dog attacking your pets on your property? You don't think, you shoot.

[@nomar5spaulding]

I'm so glad I found Arse Lash a few years ago. This channel is a daily good time.

[@seekeroftruth6728]

4th Story - "Sure, I'll pay child support. But first I'm going to need back all those years with my kid that you stole from me. Every birthday, christmas, and childhood milestone that I missed."

[@RealCoolstriker64]

Story 3: “you’ll be missing out on so much.” She’ll be missing out when they make her free childcare anyway.

[@VorpalSnickerSnack]

PSA: "Parentifying" is a made up word for an actual abusive term. Covert incest or Parent Child Enmeshment is a form of abuse; a parent will use a child as a stand in parent or a child will use another child as a parent. Anyone who's experienced this needs counselling as the damage is complex and deeply engrained. Every post that talks about this never mentions to have a support system. Source: my councillors & therapist.

[@NathanaelCrapo]

You kinda have to wonder how the neighbors knew the package going to OPs porch was theirs instead of OPs but for the most part you're on the money with that one RSlash.

[@boldphoenix1]

If it was delivered by Amazon, the neighbor could have seen a picture of their package on the wrong porch. This happened to me, and the picture of my package was clearly on my neighbors porch. I felt weird going to collect it, because I knew it was mine but it looked like I was stealing.

[@NathanaelCrapo]

@BoldPhoenix i didnt know amazon sent pics of the delivery, cool

[@RadiantAngel]

​@@boldphoenix1 That probably explains that, but he still went on her porch without permission to grab it when they already don't have a good relationship. We also don't know if the address showed up on OP's camera well. I know from having a similar camera that small font might not show up well if it's waved too fast to focus.

[@boldphoenix1]

@@RadiantAngel That's definitely true! They have a horrible relationship so it would be in the neighbor's best interest to tread lightly if it was their package.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 5: can't they just dry off with paper towel or something? I would have told my roommate they can either take you out of the bathroom or I can throw it out for them. No you shouldn't ask nicely for them to keep their personal products in their private room. Also maybe I'm just the prude, but I don't think people should clean stuff like that in a sink wherever people brush their teeth. Get some disinfectant wipes, or a bucket just do not clean the thing you put in your private areas, in the sink I also use.

[@maris7457]

If i were them, i would not leave it in a public area LOL. i would leave it in a corner of my room with paper towels under it. could not stop laughing at the ridiculousness of the story

[@meganstroud6150]

It takes two to tango Rslash. Kenny could have told his girlfriend too. This is not all on OP. Any relationship is a two way street. Why is it all her responsibility?

[@hamvocals]

I had a similar incident to the 2nd story- a cousin by marriage told me at my grandma's funeral that she had a crush on me for 13 years. Since we weren't blood related, I could've dated her. But I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't. And Rslash- thanks for bringing back the 'butthole'!

[@Hybrid301]

Ok, the fence thing is all on the neighbors. Even if the OP wasn’t letting out her cats; what’s to say the dog wouldn’t have escaped to chase a stray cat, a squirrel, or to just say hi to another person. That’s on them to either get a higher fence or keep the dog on a line in their yard. Everything else was petty BS that makes OP the butthole

[@lorilancaster5917]

And since OP had the issue why didn’t she build a privacy fence on her own property? Oh yeah! It’s cheaper to make someone else do it

[@yuki9110]

​@@lorilancaster5917 ?? But the neighbors where the ones causing the Problem. Why should OP pay. The Dog was literally trying to kill op's cats.

[@lokilaufeyson7035]

@@lorilancaster5917 how about U take care of YOUR dog?! 🤡

[@C.G.Gaster]

​@@lorilancaster5917 hey pal, let's say I broke your arm with my car, who's responsible for paying the medical bills me or you?

[@RadiantAngel]

​​@@lorilancaster5917 Did they ever mention if they already had a fence too? The dog could have jumped from the top of the owner's fence and over OP's if they already had one. I have seen my fair share of animals scale different properties this way (I live in a rural town that has some wildlife). Animals can be crafty.

[@lamiahunter]

Rslash really went ‘i think you’re LYING. So have 2/5. But i dont know enough to give the neighbers a score ;(‘

[@comet9864]

He didn’t give her a 2/5 buttholes for lying, he did it for calling the cops on her neighbors for taking their own package from her porch

[@bloxnirogaming5269]

Story 1: YOU DO NOT ALLOW CATS OUT. That is how you get stray populations, endangered species, cat deaths, etc. Also since it is partially on op's property they at least need their permission. For the tree. They get a 3/5 bad guy score for endangering their own pet.

[@test-kf2zv]

It's actually pretty common to let them out in some places, and it's unclear where OP lives (unless I missed it or forgot). I agree with you on principle, just pointing that out.

[@bloxnirogaming5269]

@@test-kf2zv that's the unfortunate truth. But it's a dangerous practice.

[@knowwhoiamyet]

@@test-kf2zv We live rural and let our cats out. I'd never let my cat out in a city or more densely populated area, but I can tell you here and now my cat would be utterly miserable if he had to spend all day every day stuck in the house. We've had cats get hit by vehicles in the past, unfortunately, but in my 30 years of life it's only been... Twice? Possibly a third, but it happened when I was little and my parents were never willing to be anything more than vague with me about it, even in adulthood, so can't confirm there. Anyways, it's pretty uncommon for anything really bad to happen to cats here, but you'd definitely want to be sure the area is safe. Some people are messed up and will actively try to hit cats while driving and stuff... Sickening.

[@KachuaOnWoW]

I think the first story could've swung way in OP's favor if the focus had been on different details. The issue with the tree and fence was more about the neighbors trying to get money from OP, not about fixing the fence or getting permission to cut the tree. And on the package, OP never clarified whether the package was the neighbor's or the cat's medication she ordered. The neighbor "shoved the package into the camera", but everyone knows you can't read jack shit on something up close to the lens because it can't focus. OP got a notification their package had been delivered, neighbor took a package, and when OP's friend got there OP's package was not where it should've been. I think it's reasonable to conclude the neighbor stole OP's package believing they'd never prove or disprove that it was theirs, and that their doing so was part of a pattern of grubbing for whatever freebies they can get.

[@TerranosaurRex]

Story 1: I'm not agreeing with op at all. But something that the neighbor could have done better, is one: do not just come up to their house and take the package. Tell them. Two: if they ask what you are doing, then calmly say. "Oh. My package got delivered here. And I'm just taking it back. You can see my name on it." And then show them the package. It isn't assholeish behavior. Its just something that the neighbor could have done better based on the story

[@TerranosaurRex]

Also. The neighbors get 0.5/5 aholes. It's low. But thats the most i am willing to give

[@Ganchanzilla]

In defence of the op of story one, as a generally paranoid person if I saw someone take a package off my porch I would think they’re stealing one of my packages. Even if they said it was theirs. Also op doesn’t clarify if when he held the package up to the camera if the address was readable, which in my opinion is pretty important info.

[@Nemrai]

So, I've called the cops on a neighbour who'd play loud music at night often, among other things. But that was after a long time, and many attempts at trying to talk about it. Unless you've real reason to fear for being attacked, calling the cops should never be your first option.

[@RadiantAngel]

The problem is that it's difficult to know if you have reason to fear being attacked until you first talk to them. On top of it that, if you still need to call the cops on them later if it doesn't improve or escalates, that can make you the neighbor's target. I have heard of plenty of stories of this happening, no matter how nice the victim talks to the neighbor involved.

[@Wolfie713]

Dabney, the first story I can understand OP's perspective. Just shoving a package at the camera and claiming it's yours doesn't prove anything. If OP was able to see/read the information and then still called the police, that would be different. But since OP didn't say that it was indeed their package, the way the neighbor did it may have not allowed OP to clearly see who it was addressed to, so for all OP knows, the neighbor was indeed stealing a package.

[@Tustin2121]

Summer fling: No, hard disagree. OP is NTA. You know who is? THE MOTHER for SCREAMING about something the has no business in! SHE cause this problem, not OP!

[@malfeitor665]

2nd story. NTA. Cousin and Kenny get 2/5 asshole score and rslash gets 1.5/5 for giving her a score when she did absolutely nothing wrong.

[@cherokeeirishman9612]

You should ask your neighbors, “would you complain if I wasn’t pregnant and wearing less?”

[@Luke13579]

it disgusts alot of people they cant control that it wouldnt hurt her to cover herself

[@cherokeeirishman9612]

@@Luke13579 And it wouldn’t hurt them to look the other way. That’s not making a very pregnant lady go out of her way to do extra stuff. These people can simply not look! Your argument is invalid because they are the ones with the problem they need to fix the problem. It’s not her problem it’s theirs.

[@Luke13579]

@@cherokeeirishman9612 some houses are designed in the way so they can only look in one direction thats what I meant

[@lore1612]

3rd story: most parents are so glad if their child makes it through high school without having an unplanned baby. but op's parents are literally TRYING to give them an unplanned baby, it's ridiculous

[@mr.scarlo2234]

I hope that everyone is having a good Thursday!

[@the_tiny_bean]

hope you have a good thursday as well internet person

[@Laurenmcd202]

Today is my day off! Hopefully it’ll be a good day

[@Wolfbo1144]

Today's a dnd day!

[@kimberlylholt]

You also!!

[@SailorMoon998]

You too, Mister!!

[@karenneill9109]

What kind of crazy neighbour thinks they have a right to say anything about what someone is wearing in their own backyard? A pregnant belly is something to celebrate, not be ashamed of. How prudish of them.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: why did she have to tell anyone about a relationship that never went anywhere. They drifted apart… the family, and rSlash are thinking this way too seriously. Like she isn’t out to try to steal him back but whatever, guess she is a bad person to not say anything about her past relationships

[@SilverGhxst]

Last story: you are definitely NOT the butthole. You are allowed to enjoy your own home without someone else telling you you need to cover up more. You are on your property you could go naked if you wanted to. In fact my old neighbor ( he was a sweet older man, he used to play Santa during the holidays so we always called him santa) well Santa had a very nice pool and alot of the summer nights he would strip down and we would sometimes (if we were unlucky to look outside) we would see Santa naked in his pool 🤷‍♀️ we just got used to his routine and would allow him some privacy when he wanted to do his skinny dipping. We never once went up to him and asked him to stop because he was doing it on his own property so there wasn't much we could do about it. Yes we could have went and asked him to cover up but there was also an way to compromise so we both could enjoy the backyard. We just got used to when he would want to skinny dip (usually later in the nighttime) and when that time was nearing we would go inside for a little bit to give him some privacy. When he would finish up if we wanted we would go back outside 🤷‍♀️ it made him happy to skinny dip so if we could compromise a way to allow him to continue with what made him happy we did it. It wasn't really a problem to us. It was a shock the first time don't get me wrong 😂😂😂 took a little bit to get the hang of not seeing anything hanging out 😂😂 but when we did get the hang of the timing it all worked out. So if chilling in a bathing suit in your pool makes you happy than do it! Don't let others stop you from that as really they have no authority to. Let them give you the stink eye. It just shows how entilited they are. Your body is growing a beautiful little baby right now so yea there's going to be stretch marks but that's no reason to tell someone to cover up! Especially in there own home. 🙄 I can't even imagine someone comming up to me and saying cover up because your body makes me uncomfortable. That is such a horrible thing to say to someone! Don't ever say that to someone, even if it's the truth keep it to yourself okay?! You don't know what people are going through, and you could easily hurt them more than you know.

[@Luke13579]

they didn't ask rudely and the husband was laughing at them its a reasonable request depending how the houses are setup and it would not hurt her to cover herself houses are close most places so they effectively cannot use their deck without seeing them

[@SilverGhxst]

@Nervixo I'm sorry but I disagree. What I do on my property is no one else's business, if I want to go sun bath naked I can and the neighbors have zero authority to tell me to stop. This women does NOT need to "cover up" she's not naked, she's wearing a bathing suit. And also they were being rude by saying her pregnant body is making them feel uncomfortable. That is a rude thing to say to someone and that's my opinion. If they don't want to look at her pregnant body than they can go inside the house they pay for. They don't have any authority to tell her to not go swimming in a bikini

[@Luke13579]

@@SilverGhxst if its visible its considered public property so yes she can be arrested for being naked outside and it would not hurt her to cover herself even with a towel its not rude to ask especially if the houses are designed so thats the only side they can look like many houses are

[@SilverGhxst]

@@Luke13579 again I disagree and where I live I legally can go naked and have and there nothing neighbor can do because they have tried before so please stop telling me I'm wrong lol. Maybe where you live that's what happens but where I live it's not. And again yes it is rude to go up to a pregnant lady and say your body is making me uncomfortable you need to cover up. Again she doesn't need to she's in a fucking bathing suit what don't you get about that? She's in a piece of clothing designed to go swimming. Yall are just fat phobic and clearly don't like seeing a little jiggle on a women body. She does NOT need to cover up on her property. I dare the neighbors to call the cops on op. It won't do shit because again she's wearing a bathing suit. No it wouldn't hurt her to cover up but the point is SHE DOES NOT NEED TOO. It's her property and she can do what she wants on her property. She not gonna get arrested for wearing a bikini 🙄🙄 It also seems people agree with me and not you so that should tell you something if your smart

[@luvondarox]

S1 Grumpy OP doesn't have a problem with the dead tree until it falls into their property. 🙄 Sounds like OP has done nothing to foster any kind of relationship with the neighbors, and even annoys the police. They sound insufferable.

[@mwokozi]

The neighbors also sound horrible if the story about the dog jumping the fence is true

[@franciscolaurean8550]

Parents: As a big sister you're gonna have responsibilities Op: What about the responsibilities you have as parents? Parents: Don't make this about us we carried you for 9 months now you gonna have to be a mom for me because I don't want to take care of your sister

[@leinaluo9763]

Story 1: the thing is, once a relationship is soured you tend to be less lenient. Sure, OP could be a total Karen. But the neighbours could also be entitled party people. I would also hate someone if their pet tried to constantly hurt my pet and then they’d ask me to pay to solve the problem. But for the actual AITA question: I feel like OP was being petty and vindictive here. Why? Well, she could’ve called the cops for trespassing, cause she doesn’t want the hated neighbours on her property. I might’ve even understood that. But she called for the package. That she knew wasn’t her‘s. Why? I assume, cause as far as I know postal stuff is always federal. And even if not, stealing is still a bigger offence than coming without permission but also leaving on you own accord again. For which you’d probably only get a warning. So I feel like op didn’t just want the problem (neighbour on her porch) solved, she wanted to cause the biggest damage possible to the neighbours. So it’s a potential ESH, but op is the AH for the police situation either way.

[@RadiantAngel]

I lean toward OP potentially being justified depending on some details. The address on the package might not have shown up well on the camera if it's waved too fast to focus (I have a similar camera). The neighbor also happened to be looking through OP's mail for his own package when he knows she doesn't have a reason to trust him. What made him think his package was there in the first place? Unfortunately, the post got locked before much was answered.

[@faesolada445]

The summer camp story - how can OP be given a butthole score when the fling took place BEFORE the cousin and Kenny even started dating? I don’t think that a list of everyone that OP ever dated is any business to the cousin, or anyone else, for that matter.

[@daedubois9428]

Story 1: if you have a dispute with your neighbors... don't get packages from their porch. Even if they are for you. Call Amazon (or whatever) and have the package redelivered. And delivered a third time even, until they get YOUR address correct. Then you won't have fights with neighbors that don't want you one their property.

[@smeghead0]

1st story, OP said she received a text saying a delivery had been made at her door and sent her friend over. unless she got a package You don't get someone else's delivery message.

[@TeacherinTraining39]

3rd Story: From a man who was parentified by a meth dealer, *RUN. NOW.*

[@lorilancaster5917]

And contact CPS to see what rights she has. Her parents made it clear that they want her to put her life on hold to take care of their kid. Love the irony when OP tells them no and she’ll graduate and leave early that they tell her she will be missing out on a lot of things. Psycho you are already asking her to miss out on the rest of her childhood!

[@clthreeoneeight]

i was parentified as a child. i literally taught my then 3yo brother how to use a staircase when i was only 8yo, and i had 3 brothers after that. this is part of the reason i'm just ditching my family when i grow up whether or not that makes me an arsehole

[@bartman156.]

Second story: I agree with you in not giving OP a butthole score. I can see an argument being made to give her 0.5/5 buttholes for not considering the cousins feelings but in my opinion, it's not fair to call someone a butthole because they forgot something or it never occurred to them.

[@knowwhoiamyet]

Not considering their feelings? On the contrary, by not saying anything about the past relationship at all, that's very considerate of cousin's feelings. Bringing it up could come off as a jealous comment, especially if unprompted, and OP didn't want to interfere in a good relationship that was going on. That's plenty considerate. In an alternate timeline, OP told their cousin and still got yelled at, guaranteed.

[@Mud.lemons]

Well I mean yeah, it may have been the neighbours package, but you still don’t just walk up to your neighbours house to get it without permission

[@lisaking5870]

A great way to spend a road trip is listening to R/ and ignoring family!

[@9elypses]

Be safe on your trip and have a great time!

[@Richard_Nickerson]

Does a pregnant woman have to cover up while in the pool? No. OP is NTA. To the neighbors: GFY

[@ianmitchell5979]

Wait, I'm confused. Were the neighbors arrested like the title said, or no? Because if they were, then they must've stolen OP's package, right? Unless going to your neighbor's property to pick up your own package is illegal.

[@owl7072]

Story 3: I point blank would have told them that it's bold to say Op would be a "bad sister" if she wasn’t part of the baby's life as if they haven't been as distant as they were legally allowed to be her whole life.

[@jesusxfreak2]

Third story with the parents having another kid but not wanting to. Why did they not take action to make sure they absolutely could not have another kid? There are procedures that you can do and they've obviously had plenty of time since their first kid to do something more permanent. Now they're attempting to save money and make their almost adult kid take care of something that is on them.

[@silverflight01]

Story 1: Honestly, sounds like OP is a Karen who is over exaggerating their neighbor to make them look like arseholes when they're actually considerate, but that's just my opinion

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

That's what Karens are..

[@rigleyrigley4000]

Yeah just split the costs and it benefits both ways!

[@mwokozi]

@@rigleyrigley4000the fence was 100% the neighbor’s responsibility since it was their dog causing problems. The rest OP kinda sucked. For the noise there is a chance OP was within her right but yeah both sides suck.

[@ItatsuMagnatsa]

First Story, Actually, even if the Package was delivered to the Wrong House you don't go on to someone else's Property without their Permission. The Husband should have called OP and informed OP that they had got a notification about their Package being delivered, but it was dropped off at the wrong House, and then proceeded to ask for Permission to go and get. Even if OP refused, OP offered a Solution, Wait for their Friend to arrive and their Friend would then give the Neighbor their Package. It can be considered Trespassing for just going to someone else's house without Permission. Karen or not, OP had the Right to call the Police because OP caught their Neighbor on THEIR PROPERTY taking a Package WITHOUT PERMISSION from OP. That can be seen a Theft and Porch Piracy. So you kinda wrong there, rSlash. Everybody is a Karen here, the Neighbor gets an AITA score of 1 for going on to someone else's Property without Permission, taking or Stealing a Package from OP's Porch even if it was the Neighbor's Package, you don't go on to somebody's Property without Permission.

[@MrDOCTORDERPY]

With the 1st story they didn't immediately address the dog problem they asked OP to pay for half the new fence