r/AITA I Told My Child to Get Over Her Dead Mom

[@MizTameRumors]

Being forced into school when you are grieving the death of your mother is going to have more of a negative effect on school than time off.

[@DarkHeartTheEmo]

Agree, when I was 10 my father die, I not going into details, but after that happen I didn't go to school for awhile, futher more I didn't ask to not go to school was my mother that said I don't need to go, that girl need time to heal and worry about school and been in that enviarment will not help.

[@ДмитрийГусарев-ж8ъ]

Not only in school but also in general since the kid would probably cut all contact the moment she turns 18 and moves out

[@legojenn]

It could be worse. If I did that, I'd be calling my kid Carleton. It would be even worse if I had a daughter.

[@peterhobson3262]

Many schools will deal with grieving students by giving take-home work and offering counseling services.

[@BronzeDragon133]

I can't honestly tell here. It's July, assuming this is the present, then school wouldn't be starting until very late August or early September. We don't have enough information to determine; did the parent die two days ago, in June, when? I'm withholding judgement on this one.

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

*Katie:* "These are our four children, Stanford, Yale, Harvard, and _Brown."_ *OP:* "What did she do?" *Katie:* Glaring daggers at her youngest child, *_"SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID!"_*

[@sabrinasugar2819]

This has no right being this funny. 😏 😂

[@sinbadwilliams7186]

What would make the name Brown worse is if the child is of an Asian race... then the name is so much worse!

[@richardford3944]

Though this is anecdotal, the best doctors and lawyers I have ever met have ALL gone to a state university.

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

@@richardford3944 Okay? Katie's still terrible; or at the very least, insanely out of touch.

[@Swnsasy]

The ex-husband LIED to his children that he's paying for the house, food etc which opened the door for OP to defend herself! Wtf kinda friends will say don't defend yourself when you're being lied on?? Absolutely Nta!! He shouldn't have flucked around because now his kids found out!

[@trapjaw6818]

Yeah NTA and needs some new friends

[@DarkHeartTheEmo]

Just don't lie, right? It isn't that hard, the worst part was he lied about her to her kids, that make them hate her, she did what you do when people lie about you. This could be avoid if he didn't lie, but if he didn't do that the kids wouldn't hate their mother, but everything backfire.

[@Swnsasy]

@@DarkHeartTheEmo Right?! He did this to make himself look like she's nothing without him to THEIR KIDS!! It's insane to think that it wouldn't have come out...

[@TehNemoz]

She's totally not the AH, and definitely deserves to defend herself. However, the slippery slope here is, which might have been what her friends advise her against, is getting the childern involved with a conflict between the two divorced parents. Any conflict between the two should be resolved between them. Involving children opens the doors for Dad vs. Mom, "who are you gonna choose? Remember what I DO, vs. what other parent does!" It's extremely stressful for children. Some grown up work needs to be done here. Dad needs to own up and start paying child support, and both of them need some kind of therapy or counselor to deal with situations like this.

[@fdm2155]

For real. She did the right thing in setting the record straight. Dad was clearly hammering the point that HE was supporting the and hard working mom is some kind of loser deadbeat. wtaf? Why even start that ESPECIALLY if you know you're not paying your child support?

[@jasonmomoa5124]

Story 3: Sean thinks OP should quit her job as a doctor, which requires years of schooling and debt, to be a SAHM, then punishes her for not behaving like a SAHM. When's the last time Sean dropped +100k on something that he never used?

[@fdm2155]

I think Sean is just jealous! He likely only has a house because of his parents/brother's generosity. Dude just needs to learn to mind his own damned business. It's not hard AND it's completely free!

[@lorilancaster5917]

I hope OP and spouse get their insurance settlement so they can stay elsewhere while the house gets rebuilt. BIL thinks he owns OP because of his so called generosity

[@reyandrade9657]

Think his ego was hurt badly

[@darlenefraser3022]

I think Tom needs to step up to his brother

[@Ziergon]

"Oh hey bro, I know you've been making a lot of noise about traditional gender roles and stuff lately, so I wanted to help you do your part, and act like a real man... Where's your half of the price tag on OUR house, so you can actually call it 'yours'."

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Last story, OP's sis deserves a bigger AH score because she's definitely setting her kids up for a lifetime of bullying. Bad parenting always deserves a higher score.

[@Xolivas1]

And what's worse, they're gonna be under the microscope 24/7 by their parents. Those boys are going to be MISERABLE! I would not be surprised if and when they're all grown up, that they change their names, go to decent colleges or trade schools, and go no contact with their "parents".

[@supervegito2277]

Pretty sure you cant do what katie is trying here, in my country Like "LEGALLY" cant. By law... and i think thats a good thing, since it prevents this kind of shit... EDIT: whilst im not good at legalese (even native language legalese) i think i get the gist of it, and it is as i assumed. Either it has to be on a list, or it has to be otherwise approved... and you cant give a name thats ment for the opposite gender (followed by an exclusion for trans people, which i assume is so that people transitioning can get a name for their new gender) That would basically prevent any kind of bullying that either A: Targets weird non-names, like in this story, and B: Targets boys with girl names and vice versa.

[@SDogo]

@@supervegito2277 I don't know how the law about names work in muricaland, but at least here we also have laws that block exactly this type of situations where a parent is making awful decision about names.

[@ekramer2478]

@@SDogo You can name your kid as you wish in the US. Unfortunately...some do.

[@karenneill9109]

It’s such a bad idea, all ‘round.

[@MjaoZor]

story 1: She is 16 whom just lost her mother, she was honest with you about her needs and you shot her down. If anything she needs therapy and time to heal YTA

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

I will say that I dont think people should be TOO hard on the father, as he clearly wasnt doing this out of malice, had sound reasoning, and even went to reddit to confirm if he was wrong. I wager that after seeing the responses he got, he (since it was a month ago at the time of tihs vodeo) likely made it up to her and gave her the time off she needed, possibly even making amends. Maybe I'm just too nice, but I believe that intentions matter a lot, even if you still screwed up.

[@Milk-ck1wv]

​@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958Just because you have good intentions doesn't justify your actions nor behaviors.

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

@@Milk-ck1wv Of course, but people need to respond with *appropriate proportion*, you cant just treat the dad like hes some inconsiderate monster who's lazy, sleazy and unfeeling. He's just trying to help her, and half of yall are acting like hes a dime-a-dozen abusive father. He screwed up, but he's not evil for God's sake.

[@Riounka]

The father has a point. Yes the daughter needs to grieve but a normal routine can help too. He didn't say she needed to do her homework or anything. She has FRIENDS at school. They can help her, take her out and pamper her.

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, why prioritize college admissions two years from now...? If she can't manage her grief, that may be the thing that derails her!

[@etherealaesthetical]

A kid can’t have a good academic/social performance if they are not in the right mental state. My mom made me do extracurricular activities right after my aunt died, and I broke down crying several times which just made everything worse. Everyone will understand taking some time off, no need to keep pushing on if you genuinely can’t

[@Juzokinnie]

My dad's father did this to me. The result was that I failed my final semester of math because I was having mental breakdowns from my home life and unresolved trauma. Forcing kids to push themselves when they're mentally unwell is going to make matters worse.

[@carsont9725]

Petition for rslash to do feel good stories every once in awhile he deserves it

[@RaidenDragonClaw]

✍️

[@Netherdrop]

Absolutely, it would be nice to have that every once in a while (And also good for his mental health tbh)

[@Byerly2k20]

🖊️✍️

[@Kiwicrushes]

✍️

[@microwave4044]

✍️ 🦍

[@Swnsasy]

How on earth does he think his daughter that just lost her mom can sit in 6 different classes 5 days a week, listen and learn the assignments and do the homework necessary over her grief!? Come on dear, damn.. Yta

[@lorilancaster5917]

And I wouldn’t be surprised if she lets her grades slip to spite her dad

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

I get Op is grieving to but he making it seem like he care about his daughter school work more than his daughter well being

[@czechnorris3]

Yah, well she should still attend school and maintain her routine.

[@andredunbar3773]

​@@czechnorris3 After taking some time off to grieve. Jumping right back into school would almost certainly backfire.

[@Swnsasy]

@@czechnorris3 When I lost my mother, my teachers sent my work home with no due date.. I missed 6wks of school. It was also done for my daughter so I'm pretty sure they still would do that now. There is no way you can be around hundreds of kids talking and laughing and joking and stay focused on school work it's just nearly impossible.. This wasn't a divorce, this was death..

[@greensweatpant4449]

Story 2: I don’t think anyone deserves a butthole score because it just sounds like 2 adults making a decision to get together. What exactly did OP do wrong? It just sounds like they are living their life and their sister is upset based off the treatment that was different, that’s not OP’s fault

[@dragonriderabens9761]

My thoughts exactly

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

Exactly, the REAL AH in this story are the parents who favored OP and caused that rift in the first place, not OP for being a bit ignorant at worst.

[@Mistfall254]

​@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958exactly

[@Milk-ck1wv]

Agreed. I was a little confused on what the issue was

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

Yeah slash started projecting hard. OP didn't say they were given preferential treatment. They called it "Lax Parenting" which can mean dozens of things besides golden child

[@rapheAltoid77]

Tom and Sean: dude, OP isn't even really a guest! Her husband _owns half the house._ Sean's living there, but OP is only slightly more a "guest" as Sean's wife.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Tom sounds overly non-confrontational. OP sounds awesome.

[@bridi0821]

Story 2: so…is OP just never allowed to interact with anyone their sister has also interacted with? It isn’t OP’s problem that the sister has those insecurities. That’s their parents’ problem.

[@Ikajo]

OP is a guy. So he is bi or gay.

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, I wonder how much of the issue is just sister's insecurity. We don't get a lot of detail but it's not unheard of for parents to be more lax with younger kids. Also they are sometimes in a better position to help them more. If OP marries into that family her sister is gonna have a heart attack.

[@cartowheel]

This is exactly what I was thinking. The sister seems super insecure to still be caring about it this much when they're much older. I get having some grievances about it, sure. Im an older sibling, and my middle brother was always the golden child, but I don't hold it against him, he didn't choose to be my mom's favorite

[@dr.rizz000]

At first I was confused because he was talking about it like they were best buds than he kept saying partner but never mention if he was gay or not so I really don’t get where he’s standing from

[@Erika.Jupiter]

That's not what was said at all, but Op does seem rather dismissive of their sisters feelings... even before that family-stuff went down. It could just be a case of unfortunate wording but I don't see how questioning the general narrative is wrong. It's not like rslash called for Op's head.

[@unvoicedapollo3318]

Story 5 - She wasn't the one who lied to her kids and tried to turn them against her. All she did was show them what he was actually contributing towards their welfare (which was nothing).

[@peachberry9774]

Imagine if the Yale and Stanford duo tried to get into MIT or Harvard. They'll have a hard time for their whole life even IF they succeed because even at Yale and Stanford there's going to be people making fun of them for their names. I hope that sister re-thinks that decision

[@lorilancaster5917]

Or what if they would rather pursue another path not involving college? I want to be wrong but I see their parents pushing their Ivy League schooling and white collar careers on to the boys and never listen to what they want.

[@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789]

they'd also get bullied by other kids at school. Not just the pressure to succeed. What kid WOULDN'T get made fun of for being named after a school

[@shadowmewfred09]

Last story: op consider it a blessing you're not invited her wedding because jeez what a toxic sister goes to show you can't teach class. In fact if you want to apologise say "I'm sorry your kids are going to grow up with such bad names and an even worse mother" then just block her because honestly that's what she deserves

[@njmoonfrost6145]

There is nothing wrong with their names though??? Yale is more of a last name but could work as a first name. I know a girl who named her baby Stanford after the character from Gravity Falls. The names are just not that common

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

@@njmoonfrost6145 she specifically named them after the colleges she and her husband went to and attitude wise fully expects her unborn children to attend as well these kids are going to break under pressure

[@faeb.9618]

genuinely imagine how she's gonna treat her children if they fail in school or even just have slightly worse grades than what she had if this is how she treats her own brothers... ESPECIALLY when she's telling the other one he wasted his potential FOR DROPPING OUT TO HELP HIS MOM???? holy shit if that was my child she'd be disowned

[@beeziebubs2756]

Fr I just know those kids’ accomplishments are going to consistently be met with, “I was valedictorian in my class,” or, “Well, it’s nice, but it’s not going to get into you Harvard like me.”

[@RBrown-uk4xt]

AKA: "How to guarantee a child will never want to go to an Ivy League college." Talk about pressure and trauma. Naming kids is no laughing matter. My aunt royally pissed off my grandmother with her planned name for her third child. The name itself wasn't even bad. The problem was the three sons together, being name K****, K***, and K*****. Grandma being an old, black, southern woman was acutely aware of the fallout that the kids would have to deal with.

[@matthewmfreeman1235]

The story about op's ex-husband who isn't paying child support is that the mother of her children needs to take her ex-husband to court and tell the judge that her deadbeat ex-husband isn't paying child support for his kids and that the court will put the father in jail or if he's working take his paycheck and give it to his ex-wife so that she can care for her kids

[@fdm2155]

Yup. Mom needs to go after that money ASAP. Don't let him slide on it. Especially if he's just choosing to be a deadbeat AND lying to the kids about it.

[@marcelrobinson]

James Brown said it best “Don’t tell a lie on me and won’t tell the truth about you”

[@hamvocals]

First story: I hope the daughter got her chance to grieve, as losing a parent is devastating. I also wonder if the man ever grieved the loss of his wife, or did he prioritize his job performance over his emotional wellbeing? Also, Rslash: THANK YOU for bringing back the butthole! I've missed hearing that!

[@DarkHeartTheEmo]

He didn't bring nothing back is only the rules on KZbin about swear words change after Suzy left, he can even say "asshole" and everything would be fine, he just can't use those words in the title.

[@FederalBurroOfInvestigation]

​@@DarkHeartTheEmoSomeone missed "Am I the A" and "Am the Bad Guy"

[@DarkHeartTheEmo]

@@FederalBurroOfInvestigation He only did that, because KZbin didn't allow to swear, he always use the Am I the Butthole, but Suzy make any swear words be the same so he change, but not anymore, also this people aren't bad guy they are royal assholes/butthole.

[@beta_fishh529]

I didnt even notice until you mentioned that. Nice to see the old routine back

[@beck-nightengale]

Yeah I was glad to hear the butthole scores return. They're way more amusing to hear than "bad guy".

[@sodaapixels]

my grandma passed away two years ago on a sunday. she was my best friend and i even lived with her for months when my parents couldn’t take care of me. i asked my mom if i could have just ONE day, that monday, off of school just to process things. she refused and sent me to school. let your daughter have time, her grades will suffer, her mental health will suffer. she’ll resent you. don’t do what my mom did.

[@bella-rolland]

what happened with your mom?

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: you know she can't focus on her school work if she's grieving the loss of her mother, the school will understand your daughter taking time to process and all that school work can be made up. Everything your daughters that is right.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

100% agree even work would give you time off to grieve school would give his daughter the same treatment and will let her make up the work she missed it op need to start to think of his daughter more than her school work

[@NEPAAlchey]

​@@crimsonflareumbreon1290you must not be from the US. You don't get time off for jack if you don't have pto days

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

@@NEPAAlchey it’s called bereavement leave and some jobs do

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

@@NEPAAlchey I could be wrong if I am I’m sorry but some companies can offer it

[@czechnorris3]

I agree with OP. Should maintain your routine when dealing with grief

[@dracko158]

Story 1: Missing School is entirely normal, when you are sick, and especially if your loved one passed away. You will be an emotional wreck and can't concentrate. It sounded like OP is prioritising his own grief and thinks it's unimportant for his kid to grief, and apparently studies are more important than her grief. YTA. Show the daughter some sympathy and support dude, you are her only family.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

I agree plus it not like her teachers won’t understand op daughter I get that he’s grieving but still he should of help his daughter better

[@josephnorris4095]

Then they should take a vacation and get out of town.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

@@josephnorris4095 that could work to

[@mariposa9506]

Clearly he us because he is trying to figure out the right path to her best interests and is keeping his mind open lest he choose the wrong course of action.

[@Spgzay]

​@@josephnorris4095if his job lets him

[@Yumi_Jay]

OP's sister, in the last post, is setting up her future sons for failure and she won't realize it and will wonder why her sons aren't as "successful" as she and her husband. I hope OP will be there for his nephews because they are gonna need it.

[@davidharshman7645]

Even if she does have IVY League kids...she is limiting those kids options...Those kids aren't going to Princeton now, are they?

[@black1917]

She'll also be wondering why they don't speak to her and crying about them legally changing their names.

[@thalianox2492]

Man I feel sorry for those two boys, the sister has opened them up for a lot of bullying

[@annika5893]

Either she's not going to care because having super intelligent parents the kids should automatically know how to deal with it, or she's going to helicopter and control everything they do to the point of private tutoring and no social connections.

[@guestindisguise7079]

can't wait for the reddit post AITA for naming my kids Stanford and Yale

[@zei9256]

Which story?

[@fdm2155]

So weird. Why not use those as middle names if you MUST have them? Then at least the kids aren't at risk of constant bullying all through school. People really are too crazy. Sister sounds incredibly stuck up and self-centered. What happens if the boys want to be welders or school teachers or ministers? What if they turn out to be spoiled bums? 🤣 She's gonna have a stroke!

[@peterhobson3262]

@@guestindisguise7079 While Stanford and Yale are good schools, SIL should be more imaginative. She should name one kid "Massachusetts Institute of Technology" and the other "University of California at Los Angeles".

[@danielbrant6740]

*OP's Ex-Husband:* I'm the one who pays for everything. *OP:* _[Pulls out multiple spreadsheets]_ I have the receipts that say otherwise. *OP's Ex-Husband:* How dare you bring facts into this!

[@GamerSapss]

I find OP completely reasonable in the second story. *at worst* they are oblivious to being a golden child, which I would give 0.1/5 at most. Then, when there are bad blood between OP's sister and her in-laws, telling them that there might be bad blood isn't an unreasonable thing to do either. The worst part in my opinion, is OP's sister trying to control who OP can hang out with. It screams more of OP's sister has insecurity issues rather than OP being a golden child, as well as OP being more extroverted/having similar interest with the in-law than sister did If my sister's in-law was interested in hiking, but she wasn't, but I was (I'm not) who do you think will have an easier time to bond with them. Instead the sister is blaming it on her perceived notion of them being the golden child. And finally, as the oldest child... OP isn't wrong, most normal family dynamics most likely will be more lax with the younger kids because the parents are getting more comfortable/experience with raising said kids. It could be things as curfew being a little later than for the older sibling, or getting a little extra pocket money for when they where the same age. That doesn't immediately equate to being a golden child, so without knowing much more, it's very hard to put a rating on it, so being so confident that these where clear signs of Golden Child rather than Insecurities I feel like is wrong. However, the question is "AITA for 'stealing' sister's in-laws" no. No they are not, and sister is being unreasonable in being upset at OP for getting acquainted with them more easily than her

[@Ethan886]

Exactly my thoughts

[@crystalmorris24]

What I thought too. The first child usually gets the brunt of new parents unguided parenting. But the younger siblings get easier. Unfortunately it can be seen as favoring.

[@crizmeow8394]

I absolutely disagree with op telling the in-laws about sisters trouble because that only sounds like a great way to escalate the conflict. I can’t tell of op is a golden child or not so I won’t comment about it, but getting their nose in the conflict between sister and in-laws sounds like a terrible idea

[@icelord7]

This is what I think too. I am the older sibling between me and my brother, and yes my parents were certainly more lax when it came to discipline and anything with him, but there definitely wasn’t any golden child situation there.

[@sheva7428]

True. I think this is just rslash's ideal self talking that "all kids should be treated in the exact same way to make it fair," which is true to some sense, but real life can't be that idealistic. I am the oldest out of 5 and i can definitely see my parents treating me and my younger siblings differently... but not too drastic to the point it's unfair. For example my mom used to not let me have sleepovers until i am in highschool, while my sister, still in primary school, years later is allowed just that. The reason is simple, it's not because my mom spoils my sister, it's because she realized having sleepovers aren't that bad over the years. While maybe in some pov this can be seen as unfair treatment, in my case (and some others) it's just parents learning to parent as they go🤷🏽‍♀️ seemingly making the parents treating the younger ones better

[@Dog_in_tree]

Even if they were the golden child, how would that have been their fault? And how are they an a-hole for forming that relationship?

[@hitmonkey2984]

Because sister says so.

[@mongoose9851]

I'm confused about that too. It kinda seems like the brother is just a more likeable person, but more info is needed.

[@LadyZubat]

How are they the golden child from what context that we do have for all we know the golden child relationship could have been that classic younger sibling didn't get punished for things that older sibling did but got punished for like sneaking out of their room past bedtime. That is so incredibly minor and when you call that type of relationship the golden child relationship it waters down actual situations with golden children. Genuinely feels like the internet does not know what a golden child situation is and they're just slapping that on anything they think is even remotely close to it.

[@teyarose]

i think it's more a thing of the sister wanted/needed space from them and during an attempt to rebuild a relationship, OP inserted themself completely into the sisters new life. there are billions of people in the world and out of them OP chose the one that would embed into sister's life the most. They grew distant because of perceived special treatment. i don't think it really matters whether OP was golden or not, it honestly just seems like OP is a charismatic/likeable person and there's nothing wrong with that. but there is something wrong with pushing those kinds of boundaries, especially in such a fragile relationship. The sister moved away and has been working to build a new life for herself and now all that effort was basically wasted because once again, her sibling swoops in and is the beloved center of attention (again, i don't think that's a bad thing but i can see how it would feel awful for the sister) sis needs some therapy and a lot of space. OP doesn't seem to have done anything maliciously, but they should really be more aware of how their actions affect others.

[@spydersoup8447]

My guess is similar to the story rSlash read about the OP being treated as the golden child and she grew to the realisation of it and wanted to reform her relationship with her sister, but it was too late because by then, her sister ended up hating OP purely based on the treatment both their parents gave to them and leaving and cutting contact from them. What I'm saying is this is another case of the golden child maturing and coming to their senses and becoming a better person while the scapegoat, because of her childhood of her parents favoring their sibling over them, it ended up shaping their judgment on their sibling and hates them and puts the whole blame on them for the parents' favouritism on them. This can actually happen to scapegoats as the result of their parents and yeah, it sucks when it results in them hating their sibling rather than their parents, who are the real ones at fault.

[@Seed]

Just reading the title and WTF?

[@SamPhoenix_]

Story 3: Even "Host/Guest Relationship" is a stretch when OP for all intents and purposes owns 25% of that house - the same 25% as Sean.

[@1musamune]

he's a classic sexist

[@hopegallows1392]

The dad is story 1 isn’t dealing with his grief, he’s focusing on his daughters grades instead of dealing with his own grief. I literally went through this at 21 and I was a wreck. I took a full schedule at my college and I failed every class. You can’t just ‘focus on your education’. No matter how put together you appear those emotions will eventually surface.

[@kodahansen8080]

For Story 2: If everyone likes my sibling better than they like me, it might be time to do some reflection rather than blaming my sibling.

[@e_nyuszi]

exactly

[@wordsmith6154]

Last story: And my brother thinks I'm weird for wanting to name my future daughter Rosalie. This is ten times above weird. Weirder than naming your kids after Harry Potter characters.

[@voutsider190]

That's pretty damn weird

[@dinlupus3196]

when i hear stanford, i thought in gravity falls and when i hear yule, i thought on russia, i just realize there are names of universities, it's weird and mix that with pop culture those kids are probably going to be bullied a lot

[@black1917]

Not that common, but I'm betting she starts going by Rose pretty quick. Common nickname for those types of names. Also, if you're in or near the south western United States, no one's going to bat an eye.

[@HoodieHorizon]

I think an important thing to note in story 1 is that OP is also grieving. But he's doing so in a different way: he just wants to keep up a routine to try and hold onto some normalcy. They both need therapy to properly handle their loss

[@WraythSkitzofrenik]

Gotta disagree with you on story 2. There might have been preferential treatment, but it's not on OP to deal with the sister's insecurities. Plus, he didn't try to tattle, he considered letting the in laws know about the tension between them but decided against it.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Agreed I don’t see how OP is stealing anything here

[@CianaCorto]

Yeah, OP is kind of blind to his own faults but he's also not responsible for her relationship with her in laws. You can't monopolize family. They're people, not toys.

[@dr_nuh-uh]

Yea. It's the parents fault. Not OP's

[@shykorustotora]

Agree. Sounds like OP is just easier to get along with while the sister has a much harsher personality, meaning obviously people aren't as warm and receptive to her

[@tabeechey]

Yeah, and OP's sister was a stranger when she first met the family - by the time OP showed up, they were already part of the extended family, so of course they were accepted faster. My brother is awkward and shy, but when he met my in-laws, he was accepted far faster because they already knew me. This isn't about favoritism, if anything, it shows they like OP's sister enough to embrace people in her circle.

[@DoctaSalt]

Story 1: I couldn’t even go to school the day we had to put my cat down. Imagine trying to force a child who lost a parent to go to school

[@lorilancaster5917]

And I bet OP would want her to keep a big smile on her face to keep the pain away or some other bs.

[@Merlilein_]

I kinda feel like the second one is a bit harsh. The sister has no monopole on people, and being a golden child is almost never the kids fault. It sounds like the sister is blaming their parents mistakes on op and now is majorly jealous about any mutual connection they have. Not exactly her place to decide who talks with who. She doesn’t own her in-laws after all.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Another thing to consider is that the sister could just be a narcissist and overall bad person, and that OP never really got any preferential treatment, which is kind of the impression I got from her trying to be so controlling I don’t understand how he gave the 1st and 2nd stories the same score when they’re not even close to being on the same level

[@shykorustotora]

Agree. Sounds like OP is just easier to get along with while the sister has a much harsher personality, meaning obviously people aren't as warm and receptive to her

[@femboy__bunny]

Or the sister thinks the op is a “golden child” because he’s bi or gay and his parents supported him through it.

[@truthseeker9249]

​@@femboy__bunnyoh shoot. I didn't think about that. If that's really what it is then that sister is so f***ed up.

[@joecalamari.]

im super aware this 11 months late, but his romantic partners' genders had NOTHING to do with the sister's frustration. OP clearly states "I always thought it was jsut younger sibling treatment". NOT anything about that???? Also even if OP doesn't think so, he's still ignoring how his sister feels? Like another comment said, he didn't reflect upon it, even though he realises his parents at least had SOME bias towards him.

[@jamespitrolo3371]

Story:2 I'm confused. He didn't tattle? All he did was be liked by his partners family. Why does he deserve a butthole score? This story isn't about him being a goldin child. It's about his sisters hostility and jealousy. Maybe he is the golden child, but it's clear he is more likable than his sister.

[@justasentientmclarenp1879]

Maybe the reason the In-laws like OP more is because the sister is a piece of work with a victim complex.

[@szymonswiderski3384]

Story 2: The question was if she is an ahole for falling in love with her sister's brother-in-law and that her in laws like her more - i don't think she is the ahole for that - i admit what she might be a golden child, but did not steal her sister's fiancé, she just fell in love with his brother, and love happens when it happens. Some sisters love to have such a scenario. I understand that her sister might dislike the situation, but it's not her fold that parents-in-law are more accommodating for her than her sister. Both sets of parents should get an ahole score, but i think she is mostly innocent out of being spoiled, and her sister is just projecting the anger on her.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

This

[@kuroi-higanbana]

OP is male, but yeah, I totally agree with you. The rating on this story was way too harsh

[@QuatosLavendarSerinae]

Re read the story op is male and the brother in law and op just became great friends but yeah the rating was probably to harsh on op since theres no clarification

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

@@QuatosLavendarSerinae OP and the brother are dating actually, rslash just seems to have accidentally skipped over that sentence. But yeah I don't think OP really did anything wrong.

[@QuatosLavendarSerinae]

@@errantwinds-up8uu oh ok that explains it

[@maxbaker7841]

Gods, that last story makes my skin itch. Those boys are going to have serious inferiority complexes when they grow up because their mother is going to compare them to their peers. All. The. Time. Cannot wait to start hearing about this woman on r/justnoMIL in 20 to 30 years.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

yeah I feel sorry for those kids :( like awesome, Katie has done well for herself, but pushing your kids into high standards from birth is NOT going to be good for them, nevermind the bullying potential...

[@fdm2155]

Not just their peers. I'm sure they'll spend decades hearing about how great she was in school, how hard she worked and how they are just 'wasting' it all. Obviously that's gonna happen anytime they make a choice she disagrees with!

[@beeziebubs2756]

Not even- their mother is going to compare them to herself all the time. “Oh sweetie that’s a nice drawing of mommy and daddy but it isn’t going to get you into an Ivy League school.” She’s taking the express train to a terrible, cheap nursing home before these kids are even born.

[@Διόνυσος-ξ5ξ]

I disagree on your judgement for story 2: Sounds like Op is more extroverted and friendly while Sister sounds like she has insecurities and a HUGE chip on her shoulder- that girl needs therapy ASAP!

[@elizahamilton5599]

I’m a little like the sister but I’m working on realizing that no one owns me anything! No one knows they hurt me if I never tell them. My problems and insecurities are my own and I need to work on them❤️

[@shadowmewfred09]

I agree while op is being oblivious to her "golden child" persona I feel like the sister's outburst was way out of line and born out of insecurities plus it's none of her business who her inlaws marry.

[@jeffulloa218]

Agreed. And even IF OP was a golden child, that still doesn't make her guilty of the difference in the way they were received in the family.

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

I disagree with your assessment too, actually. OP deserves no more than a 0.5 to a 1 at most, and for ignorance. Clearly, the OP just isnt aware of the impact his upbringing had on his sister. He felt the "good side of the tracks" when it came to golden child syndrome, where he was the golden child, he got the praise and good treatment, and when talking to his sister, he finally realized what was going on. I think he's ignorant and a bit of a doof, but not a genuine article AH.

[@shykorustotora]

Agree. Sounds like OP is just easier to get along with while the sister has a much harsher personality, meaning obviously people aren't as warm and receptive to her

[@harmdizzle1979]

My uncle went to Harvard. Medical. And you’d never know it if you met him in person. In fact, you might assume he was two Sammy Adams away from a bar fight just by how he dresses and talks in everyday settings. But he’s a genius and has done very well for himself. Think Mark Wallberg and Albert Einstein in a cage fight.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: you want to keep the peace he can go clean her, but since you to pay the beyond their property and all your kids do is use the bathroom then there's no reason they have to do laundry and helped cook meals they're not even eating. SIL it just one of those moms that don't believe their kids are capable of doing anything wrong, and since you pay her you don't have to do anything more.

[@lancerevell5979]

Slack Dad story..... So, no child support!? OP needs to check with the court about the legality of this. He should be paying

[@tailsofchaos]

I will say in the first story, everybody grieves differently. Routines "could help" distract what you going through and whatever else. But honestly it depends on the person. Grieve does a lot a person than you realize. Whether its a pet or a person, it takes a toll on you. Also, the story kinda reminds me of people when they tell you to get over it (not that im comparing to this story). That is something you should never say to someone.

[@moxyalternis2016]

The first story is literally my dad tho. So I'm biased in this. It is a good idea to keep a routine in time of need. But at the same time she lost her mom. I think that's more warrent then what I dealt with.

[@serenitysilvermoon]

There are ways to maintain a routine that don't require going to school like that. Some people function well with routine and will throw themselves into work/school with grief, but others can't. It all depends on the person. Other things that could be done is the daughter reading for certain amounts of time each day, or going to the gym or the park.

[@moxyalternis2016]

@@serenitysilvermoonLike I said. She lost her mom. I think that warrents some flexibility over someone who's gone through something different. That's why I said I was biased because I never got the flexibility.

[@PFEANYCS]

The best part about the last post is when Katie said “I wasn’t asking for opinions” when she posted her children on social media. She absolutely *was* asking for opinions, she was just expecting to only get positive ones XD

[@alyssabates967]

Story 1: sounds like dad has never held the “emotional labor” in his family, solely relying on his wife to take on all emotional tasks. My dad was the same, and why I was so shocked at how emotionally open my step dad was.

[@soulgazer11]

I had psychosis due to my mother's psychological narcissistic abu$e when I was 16. It affected my grades so bad I almost didn't graduate. I used to be a straight A student.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I'm so sorry. I hope you're doing better now.

[@frosted_glaceon5513]

My grandmother passed away 2014. I wasn't allowed to attend the funeral because my dad refused to let me miss school. Honestly, I wasn't a wreck like this girl was, but I was still in shock. She was the first death in the family I ever experienced. Well, joke was on dad, because we live in Michigan and we got huge snowstorms that got school cancelled for an entire week. So instead of school, I stayed home alone playing video games and binging KZbin. It did take my mind off things, and staying at home for a week helped a lot. OP, just give her one week off. Sometimes you need time to process things. It's okay to take breaks when things happen.

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 1:* At the end of it all, nobody will truly care about her grades. No job is going to say "you have a phenomenal resume and your past employers have high praises for you, but your grades were lower than usual in your junior year of highschool." But the daughter will NEVER forget, not even until her last days, when she was grieving the death of her one and only mother and her father told her that grades were more important than her emotional wellbeing.

[@mikerichardson6502]

Story number one hits home for me, I lost my dad on a Thursday evening and was made to go back to school on the following Monday, it was hell, I still don’t remember anything after first recess when after the principal had announced my loss over during morning announcements a bunch of kids asked me a bunch of questions, I broke down and lost track of the rest of the week.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Deadbeat dad in story 5: "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A DEADBEAT DAD, EVEN THOUGH IT'S TRUE!?"

[@gilded_lady]

Last story: Those kids aren't going Ivy League purely out of resentment for their names. OP is absolutely right that they're terrible. NTA. Also, going low/no contact sounds excellent, no one needs her energy in their life.

[@Robin93k]

They're lucky to survive 'til 18 with such a mother~

[@ElecticalCheetah]

I feel sorry for the twins who will be subjected to their entitled mothers headspace And yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if the grooms family is see’s the brides side missing 95% due to her attitude and calls op frantically to gather her friends up to come to impress her mil and her family lol

[@autisticwitch7581]

Speaking as someone who lost her own mother in the middle of the school year, kiddo isn't even going to be able to think clearly for weeks. Trust me, I tried to get my work done, but my brain simply couldn't process anything like that because it was too busy processing the loss. All school will do is stress her out more because she can't get the work done.

[@djkaeh5673]

First story was an immediate yes. No elaboration required. I lost my mom as well due to cancer. I went to my teachers about it and they fully understood my situation and gave me some wiggle room in order to pass my classes by the end of the semester. She passed so very suddenly as her health unexpectedly dropped after fighting the illness through chemotherapy for just over a year. Me and my entire family and her beloved friends were in complete shock. I couldn't focus on almost anything I was supposed to. I became heavily depressed. If I were in OP's daughter's shoes similarly and my dad made me focus on college work anyway, I guarantee I would seriously be inches away from becoming suicidal. Educational success is unquestionably a significant goal to achieve, but family and wellbeing are many times more important. OP is essentially killing his traumatized teenage child. Unforgivable. Disgusting. IMO, he deserves more than a 2.5 score.

[@andreasmith4029]

I lost BOTH parents in highschool and it's something you NEVER just get over. My parents believed education was important and yes, my grades slipped a little. But after I had the chance to grieve I graduated with straight A's . 1st story, YTA.

[@Phoenix-hj7ry]

Story 1: Adults get bereavement pay and time off when a loved one days. Why tf would a child not be given the same thing?? How heartless could you be??

[@mariposa9506]

How is he heartless?

[@TheVoicesOfTheBeyond]

Story 1: OP: _forces daughter to go to school whilst she's grieving_ Daughter: _(probably) goes LC/NC with him when she turns 18_ OP: _Surprised Pikachu face_

[@FastBreakVino]

story 2: all he did was make new friends I don’t see what he did wrong

[@IWasaTeenageTeenWolf]

No, he started dating the sibling. In fact, the OP calls himself a significant other.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

@@IWasaTeenageTeenWolf ok? It’s not like he’s dating the sister’s husband, so what’s the problem?

[@JuniperDenn]

Story 1: I could barely cope with my phd when my stepdad died and I was 28, I don't even want to know the devastating effect this has on the emotional AND academic wellbeing of a 16 year old in those formative years... poor baby ☹️ Story 2: soooo OP is not allowed to engage with anyone that the sister has dibs on? Aight, cool cool cool. Golden child and favouritism or not, this is something that could be addressed as adults - him acknowledging her hurt of parental treatment, and her acknowledging that as consenting adults they are not encroaching on each others social worlds through blatant ownership of relations. Story 3: I would have ripped this man a new "bad guy". I speak from experience that it's very traumatic to lose everything to a housefire and now this dude wakes you up to make DINNER? Misogynist pig is on the menu boys. Story 4: get that outhouse sorted ASAP. What a turd. Story 5: baby daddy had it coming. Its very easy being the Fun Parent when you're not actually parenting, but to top that off by straight up lying about it to the kids?? Nah. I had this exact exchange with my mum growing up when my father was acting high and mighty about money he gave my mother and saying "is she spending it things for herself". My mum whipped out the notebook (because 1990s) and showed the actual receipts. Is it good parenting? Nah. Neither is. But lying to your kids is worse than taking blame just to keep someone's ego intact. Story 6: as mentioned above, I am well educated, work in academia, and migrated to England to do so. Here it's the oxbridge lads and lasses who do this. My dude, I couldn't care less if you were conceived on one of Oxfords well kept college lawns and immediately enrolled the moment you were evicted from your mother's uterus. Are you a nice person, a supportive colleague, and a respectful lecturer? Good, then I care. Otherwise i am not interested 😂 luckily my research field is far more tolerable than others, due to the social nature of it but good lord I've met a few during conferences i hope to never bump into again. Gag.

[@VanyaBraginsky]

People seem to forget that the dad in the first story is also grieving. Maintaining routines can help process grief. Not for everyone, but it can and does for a lot of people. He thought he did what was best, and wanted to know if he screwed up. Neither of them are TA, they sound like they both need a break from things for a while and therapy to help process things

[@thescarletarcanatarot]

I agree. What the dad should do is meet with the school principal and see if there’s alternative. Maybe attend school virtually on a part time basis with counseling to see how that goes.

[@ghosthoochie4063]

For the first story, he doesn’t realize just how bad things will get if she doesn’t process those emotions. My mom died when I was in 11th grade. I powered through because my adoptive family never really cared about my mental health. I made it through 11th and thought I was fine. I crumbled in 12th. All I needed to pass was 1 class and I just couldn’t. I was hurting myself and so depressed that I spent most of that get disassociated. A month after I learned I wouldn’t graduate, I almost successfully ended my life. Thank god those doctors were able to bring me back

[@unboundsnep1186]

While in Story 2, OP might have been a golden child, was that really her fault? It's more of a parent problem when it comes to education, which is probably why OP felt inclined to go see the parents. I'd say no buttholes there

[@GamerSapss]

OP was a he for context

[@RudesMom]

Last story, OP should name all future pets after Ivy League schools.

[@Honey-Lavender0624]

You make my mornings so much better thank you

[@RiotWild]

It’s my birthday and I’m in quarantine with Covid. It’s nice to know that RSlash is always there at the same time

[@TheFilmguy450]

I disagree with you on the "stealing" in-laws story. 1. Parents are more lax with younger kids. Stand-ups make joke about this all the time. 2. Are there other siblings in the mix? 3. What did OP do exactly? She met someone she got on with and made it official. How is that worthy of a AH score? 4. Maybe the in-laws didn't get on with the sister right away because her partner introduced the sister in an awkward way or at a bad time (ie- a funeral). 5. It could just be that OP is more of a charismatic person and that the sister comes off as colder until one breaks through that exterior. 6. Is OP the golden child? Possibly, but there's not enough material to really know for certain. OP did nothing wrong.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Thank you! Couldn’t have said it better myself

[@radarw64]

"Hi, my name is Wolverine, because that is our high school mascot. Also the movie "Red Dawn" was based on that name, etc."

[@hanss6983]

Good morning rslash fans

[@JMemski]

Good afternoon! ❤

[@CurseddFlames]

morning yall!!!

[@SaviMatteo2810]

Morning :>

[@rulerofzeuniverse]

​morning

[@astrology_2]

Good morning

[@marioborgen]

15:58 no, op told her what was up, those idiotic names will only lead one way: down. Like when ‘gifted’ children grows up with anxiety, depression or other problems because they grew up with so many expectations

[@redtailarts101]

If anyone feels Rslash was really light on the first OP, I think it's because he had good intentions and came ready to accept an A-hole judgement because even he partially realized he screwed up.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I agree. I don't think the father was really telling his daughter to "get over it" he was just trying the best he could and possibly made the wrong decision.

[@redtailarts101]

@@errantwinds-up8uu it was definitely the wrong decision. But most adults grew up during a time where mental health breaks weren't a thing so he doesn't understand how this is a thing she needs. We can forgive OP for wanting what's best for her, even if he was wrong. He's not so much an asshole as he was just... Wrong

[@boxeswithfoxes]

Story 1: YTA My dad passed away when he was 39 and I was 11 years old and my brother was only 5 years old, my mum was 37 at the time I think and she let me have about 6 months off school because of his death, I missed alot of 5th grade as a result of it. Clearly you don't seem to care about your daughter losing her own mother, it's better to give her time away to process things because events like these really take a toll on people's well-being

[@FreshToiletPaper]

Story 1: I never write these, but for once, I can actually give my 2 cents due to the fact that I also lost my mother, but at age 5 not when I was a teenager. Before I go into a tangent on what OP could have done, I want to say that OP wasn't no where NEAR how bad my dad was. My twin brother and I weren't allowed to go to the funeral, but my other siblings were. We got 2 Sibling born in 2001 too (im born in 2002 btw) and they were allowed to go to the funeral and also the wake. This messed up my brother and I severely. I'm talking like over a decade worth of therepies, depression, anxiety, you name it. And it never helped that my dad just brushed off our feels as being over dramatic. My dad, as a parent, was anything but good. He, how to put this but youtube friend, would get physical with us. But also verbal with us. By the time he admited his guilt for not letting my brother and I to the funeral, it was too late for him. My bother and I were 19 when he tried to apologise and neither one of us forgave him. A year later, him and I moved out. He went to boston and I'm about to move to boston. All to be closer to our mother's side of the family. To be honest, because of what I went through, I'd probably give the father 1.5/5 BH score, because it's clear he has his best intrerest in his daughter, but the best intererest at this moment is on the wrong thing. I think he personally doesn't want to accept that his wife is now gone, so he's trying to make everything go back to normal, which will only make things worst for his daughter. I think he should let her have a bit off from school and i think theraphy for the both of them. Sometimes talking to a proffessional helps, it helped me understand more what I was going through and without it, I wouldn't have as much closure. It's clear they both, not just the daughter, needs to heal. Maybe on his day off, they should go through the mother's old things and talk about her. That might bring some closure. :)

[@rorynorris4248]

That last one is gonna have 2 kids who hate her guts with those names...

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

Story 2: I will point out that people in the comments had issues with op for not only choose to date sister's in law, but also announcing they were dating very soon before the wedding. I think some people deduced based off of comments op didn't like not being the center of attention.

[@karaabell9915]

Wow, that's one way to get your daughter to ignore you when you get older

[@dagondeepone3071]

If you ask reddit for judgment NEVER MENTION YOUR GENDER

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Aye Reddit will always judge men more harshly than women And so does Dabny

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: This is one of those cases where we will hear from the OP in a few years asking "why has my daughter cut me off?". Or her grades dropped and this "parent" threw her out. story 2: OP needs to take her kids and go to a hotel so he can be the KING of his house and starve. If the husband is smart he leaves with OP. story 3: So she is looking for free labour. OP and family need to move the RV to their property, and hit a hostel or hotel for showers. Since OP is paying "rent" that money can go to a cheap-ish motel to shower. last story: Those are going to be very miserable kids. I doubt those "names" are going to have the affect she thinks they will.

[@THG_thehumangod]

4:48 R slash really gave someone a butthole score for dating their sister's boyfriend's brother. Is she the golden child? Maybe. Is that her fault or did she do anything wrong? No. She just fell in love. What's with the harsh rating?

[@shiomicchi7247]

Speaking as a child of separation and a deadbeat dad who also doesn't pay child support: I think OP was completely fine in telling their kids that their dad doesn't pull his weight, especially when the dad is also badmouthing his ex to his own children and lying to them. My dad pulled the same stunt and my mum explained to me and my brothers how dad contributes very little to what we have, and if anything. It made us respect the work my mum puts in, and made us more motivated to not only help out, but get our own jobs the second we were old enough so we didn't have to rely on mum for anything beyond the necessities (food, clothes, a roof over our head etc.). My mum didn't make us do this, she never took a single cent from us that we made at our part time and weekend jobs, and she didn't badmouth our father, it was a decision we came to by ourselves because we were privvy to the truth about dad's lack of contribution.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Last story: is high-back teachings in 18 years of anxiety to the boy before they're even born, it sounds like losing her kid to get people to ask about her going to Yale. Obviously people are going to ask why she named them such stupid names which will result in her explaining her great achievement. You were right to say something they are stupid names I get a lot of people keep their true opinions to themselves to keep the peace but this is one of those time will you have to tell someone how idiotic their idea is.

[@ChickenDock]

I fall asleep to these every night. So close to 2m you 100% Deserve it!

[@darkunykorn404]

0:15 Yes. Next. :)

[@DarkSpark66]

As someone who had to go to school after losing a family memeber... no, it did not help maintain my grades. I just ended up disassociating a lot instead, because concentrating on school work/ regular socializing was just impossible. Everyone processes grief differently...and OPs daughter specifically asked for some down time. He should have respected that.

[@mortenlunddk]

Story 2: I Dunno think Rslash is pretty rough. Like what did he do here? BEcome friends with his sister's inlaw family? Does that exclude her from doing the same? Idk what he did to deserve like a 2 out of 5, even if he is the golden child like is that his fault, isn't it his parents fault? I think there is a difference between differential treatment to golden child, like diferential treatment might be like "oh stay up later than your sister could" but golden child is like "He can do no wrong". TBH if it is true that the sister is having issues with the inlaws more than OP i think it might be because OP is likable and tbh Golden children are ussually twats with 0 awareness. Not saying that the sister must be an unlikeable person but it feels like a level of projection. Like what did she lose by him becoming friends with her brother in law? like all in all i think no ones the butthole maybe the sister a very little like 0,5 maybe. But 2 out of 5 is just too much have heard worse stories where people get 1 out of 5.

[@primrosevale1995]

Katie is literally just Plankton. “I went to college!” Funnily enough her kids’ name would’ve be less on the nose if they were named GLaDOS and Master Chief.

[@ion4ito]

Y'all gon hate me about this but... The dad in the first story is NTA. I lost my mum around the same time and dropped off from school to process. It has been 5-6 years since everyone else graduated and I'm still struggling to do so. :))

[@addicted2mako]

Katie in the last story reminds me of the brother in that one story where the OP's dad demotes him from CEO of their plumbing business in favor of said brother because he went to college and became an accountant. People are so willling to assume that a college degree equals intelligence that they overlook wisdom gained from experience. There are plenty of Fortune 500 companies that were started by people without college degrees, let alone ones from Ivy League schools, and I know plenty of college grads that have done absolutely nothing meaningful with their lives and coast on smugness and nepotism.

[@scpfoundation8376]

I feel like I’ve heard this story before, or at least a story eerily similar.

[@oache4u]

Story 3 - to me it sounds like the whole "his wife wasn't answering the phone,so he wake me up" was a planned event by his wife to get some fun time with her friend away from him

[@daleselburg6349]

1st story, I think it depends on how much time she wants off of school. One week, two weeks, a month? Sure if she want a few days or a week she should get it.

[@neebnabs]

Her MOM is dead! You're acting like she's just mad she got grounded!

[@miriamchristmas2771]

My husband lost his dad while he was still in school and flat out refused to go for a week so he could process it. Denying time to grieve will only make the daughter rebel and hate her own parent, i feel so bad for her :(

[@dachless]

Story 2: I think you're wrong to give OP the butthole score. OPs sister is using "you're the golden child" as an excuse to NOT make a relationship with her husband's brother. You can't "steal" people's in-laws. If she really wanted a relationship with her husband's brother, she should've been trying to make one over however much time she's been in a relationship with her husband. OPs sister is the one who deserves a butthole score, not OP. It's not OPs fault his sister hasn't bothered building a relationship with her brother inlaw

[@maggpiprime954]

There's a difference between not making any effort to connect and having the door cracked open & peered at in suspicion/grudging acceptance. 🤷‍♂️

[@margohgs1424]

I read story one when it was posted, feom OP's comments you can find out the post was made two weeks (if i remeber correctly) after the mums death and the daugther wasn't allowed to take any day off,not even the day directly after her mom's death

[@davidharshman7645]

Regarding Story 2: Assuming OP is a Golden Child...does that actually make OP also an AH? Like...what action (apart from being oblivious) did OP take that was wrong?

[@abigailc.5126]

When my cousin died, my mom had me and my brother stay at home for i think a week, I was thankful for that, if I was made to go to school there’s no way I could pay attention at all. It’s better to stay at home and do late work than stay at school and fail

[@daff2601]

I had to restart story 2 like 3 times because R/slash skipped the line mentioning the brother becoming an official couple and I was so confused lol

[@detictivecastielmalfoy4220]

That first dad is going to 😮 when his daughter goes no contact. It seems like he isn't even grieving his dead wife so he doesn't want to let his daughter because....grades?

[@ballinbunnies]

Story 2: we have 2 different families that prefer OP over his sister. I feel like there's a reason for that.

[@silverflight01]

Story 6: Honestly, I think it's better that OP just watch the chaos from a distance. The twin boys are going to get bullied for being named after famous universities, they'll resent Katie for deciding to name them after the universities, and they'll get a legal name change once they're old enough. Better to just let karma stab her ego over time than intervene How will Katie respond to THAT, I wonder?

[@montellow]

Story # 2: i dont believe op is automatically the golden child because he is more talkative and outgoing. Maybe the sister is more awkward and more introverted, so she warms up to people slower, i know it takes me a while.