r/AITA UPDATE Family Tries To Reconnect After Years Of No Contact Saying "But We're Family!"

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Personally, I hate when my off day is already scheduled with errands. Sometimes you gotta take that day off to yourself.

[@robertx8020]

for yourself or together ..not to be a slave to your partner!

[@tgbedini]

What I got from it is, she enjoys the credit she gets from volunteering his labor, while not reciprocating in any way. (drive a 4 hour round trip on your day off to do her bidding? Hell to the nope.) I'll also note that she is aware that he works 12 hour shifts. Man, a few of those, and the last thing you want to do is someone else's errands. I will say, he hasn't established a relationship where his "no" carries any weight, and a part of that is on him, but I suspect it was a slow build up to a full time habit. You know, first it's " could you help so and so for a half an hour on your day off," and, being a decent soul, he helps out. It's really hard to set a boundary, when the other party chips away at it over time, and then develops an expectation.

[@robertx8020]

@@tgbedini This is one of those 'your better off alone' relations as I don't see her changing! She is too high on her powertrip!

[@KDC256]

Story #1...OP's comeback to his sister's remark about his husband's blood not running through his body was brilliant!! Game, Set and Match!!!

[@Cassandra765]

Story 2: NTA. I lived with a family member who is EXACTLY like OP's wife. Anytime she found out that any of us had time off, she would immediately come up with a list of things for us to do and if we didn't immediately jump to it or *gasp* said no, she'd throw a massive temper tantrum until we caved. Meanwhile, she'd always get to relax when she had time off. Needless to say, I was very happy when I moved out. Lol. I feel for OP.

[@theshaddowedsnow6838]

"Blood is thicker than water" actually, fun fact, the full thing is actually "Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning family of choice is strong than family by blood/circumstance so the sister is horribly misusing it

[@reginarainer9740]

Not really Blood is thicker than water is from the 12th century and 'blood of the covenant' is a religious adaptation that has happened in the past 20 years or so. It's rather annoying since they are trying to change it from 'family is most important' to 'church is most important'

[@krism8335]

@@reginarainer9740 that’s not true it’s way older than 20 years ago don’t know where you got that from

[@galwitprifor001]

@@krism8335 The "blood of covenant" interpretation is attributed to the Ancient Near East, but there is no actual evidence to support that claim. "Blood is thicker than water" has been dated at the earliest to 12th century German, and in it's modern form to the 17th century book of proverbs by John Ray.

[@Spartan3D213]

@@galwitprifor001 I know what covenant means but after years of halo I can't stop thinking of the alien cult from the OG games.

[@rainbowdino9310]

In response to "blood is thicker than water" I go by the saying that "just because blood is thicker than water, doesn't mean water can't separate it"

[@car0ndelet]

Story 2: filkerdave with the ESH verdict sounds like they aren’t actually listening to the OP and how his wife ignores his boundaries and his autonomy. She’s TAH and she needs to work on her communication.

[@ilbercgross4736]

The wife and I both get the weekend off. One day is for fun the other is stuff we cannot or will not do during the work week. She makes more an hour than I but works less hours. Our take home is about the same though with overtime, I pull in more some months. She has more after work free time. We split all household stuff evenly. OP is not the arsehole here, though his wife sounds like one.

[@brigidtheirish]

I know, right?! It's like that commenter has *no idea* the kind of high-pressure tactics she's probably using against him.

[@Ifrit86]

i like that i didn't have to look far for this opinion. filkerdave needs to check his reading comprehension

[@KimPossibleShockwave]

It's Reddit: I was sure there was going to be at least one YTA or ESH because the site is as misandrist as tihS.

[@terryp2517]

That was just being a complete idiot

[@ceeshnia]

When it comes to cutting off family, I could honestly cut off a couple of people without remorse. The only reason I don't is because of my nieces. If people are actively harming you by being in your life, try to starve that relation as much as you can if there are reasons you cannot cut it off completely. I wish anyone in a situation that you deal with toxic family luck.

[@jackspring7709]

Yep - I know exactly what you mean.

[@ceeshnia]

@@jackspring7709 It's an incredibly unfortunate place to be, but vitally important to not let it control your life. I wish you luck.

[@benzelwasington4059]

Hurt Than back

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - The sister said "blood is thicker than water". I recently heard that the original saying was, "The blood of the battle is thicker than the water of the womb." meaning, of course, that the people a soldier fights along-side become closer than biological family.

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

This is the one I'm most familiar with

[@orionspero560]

Well it's translated from latin it meant of the battle of the legionaries but you got it

[@MacedonZero]

While I like this alternative version, it's not the original phrase, as it is often described. The original is indeed "Blood is Thicker than Water" and was a phrase used to encourage/coerce people who were distant from their families or hesitant to do something into doing things "in the interest of the family as a whole." This dates to the 12th century and was commonly used in Germany (think complex HRE politics) and Scotland (clan politics) Another phrase from Shakespeare times (17th century) was about how soldiers form strong bonds in battle, but wasn't either the above phrase nor the one you've stated, but has some similar sounding language. The phrase you've stated, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," is some weird conglomeration of the two phrases into something new entirely. This phrase has no references before 1994.

[@chinavaughan6383]

Yeah, this certainly doesn’t apply to OP’s family😒

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 definitely NTA! She needs to give up her off day to do stuff for her family/friends. These errands are ridiculous!!

[@anahernandezliceras2070]

Story 2: Wife wanting OP to do his share of errands and chores is one thing, her ignoring his pleas to have at least a free day to enjoy himself and to see his friends, which we all need sometimes, is another thing entirely. Everyone needs days off once in a while. I call NTA. EDIT: oh AND she never runs errands on HER day off? Sounds fair huh /s

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Yeah, she's scoring points by getting you doing all the work. Hell nah.

[@invisible123-l9d]

His wife works, and also does the food shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning, ironing. SHE has NO time for herself. If he pulled his weight with housework, the situation would not have arisen.

[@HubiKoshi]

@@invisible123-l9d Dude does 12 hour shifts. Between eating, basic hygiene and commuting that barely leaves him enough time to sleep enough. And she has time for herself, it's stated outright that on her days off she goes off to chill with her mom and friends. And she doesn't even have him do house chores on his days off, oh no, she has him do chores for OTHER people so she can gain brownie points.

[@invisible123-l9d]

@@HubiKoshi SHE WORKS. SHE does the washing, the ironing, the cleaning, the food shop. but, according to you, that is nothing. You American men are all misogynists, thinking that men have no responsibilities, and need never pull their weight.

[@allanmoore4353]

​@@invisible123-l9d, the "errands"she has him running are NOT for them but for other people, OP said he doesn't mind so errands for his family, where is it written he has to the communities errand boy?

[@Impostor39890]

Sister: Blood is thicker than water. OP: So about the family financial.. Sister: You're not family.

[@michaelthomas4020]

.

[@n.a.nameless5435]

"Blood is thicker than water" is only about half of the saying and doesn't mean at all what most think it does. The blood shed on the battlefield is thicker than the water of the womb.

[@missmoxie9188]

Nailed it

[@anonmouse15]

You are family up to, and limited to, the point where you are no longer useful to us.

[@toothless3835]

@@n.a.nameless5435 I've heard it as "The blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" but same premise for a different group. Covenant could mean witchcraft covens or even the blood of christ, take your pick. I've heard it described as both. Not sure where it actually came from.

[@Krisna_K]

The house story: NTA!!!! Those neighbors can pound sand, kick rocks or take a long walk off a short pier! It’s none of their damn business! OP checked the laws to make sure it was legal to live in the MIL apartment! I agree with the commenter who mentioned building a good fence! Just make sure it’s legal and build it as tall you can!

[@charondusk5608]

Story 3 - That sounds like my dream home, in all honesty. A small place that doesn't need a lot of maintenance and has a big "garden" (well, more a forest, which makes it better since that's more environmentally friendly for local wildlife). At the end of the day, so long as OP is A) Abiding by the laws of their area, and B) Not turning the land outside into a huge mess, then the neighbours can take a short walk off a tall cliff.

[@t.matthies3049]

Honestly, if I didn't want kids, I would love something like that too.

[@Dina-lc4bt]

If I didn’t have a kid it would be perfect. Retirement perfect. What a good find!!

[@katsmenagerie106]

Didn't recognize the first story until the end one-liner from OP. Pretty unforgettable, that one. 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

If they want a house built they can all chip in for the cost of a house. OP is happy and he checked to see if it's legal to live in the MIL suite and it is. Neighbors can kick rocks.

[@terramarini6880]

They should have bought the property themselves if they had expectations for it.

[@robertx8020]

Yeah why build a house when you don't need the space ... We already have enough idiots, living alone, in a 10 bedroom house with 4 bathrooms :p

[@Gregarious3]

@@robertx8020 my single Mom lives in a 2K soft house, silly.

[@grimsoul0]

Sounds like OP got a sweet deal and is doing the right thing. Having a place and being able to pay it off in 5 years is great. Then he can start saving for the future. Tell the neighbors to take a long walk on a short pier.

[@robertx8020]

@@Gregarious3 Well, it depends :) if sdhe used to live their when she had a husband and kids then she will get a bye :)

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Imagine demanding someone bridge a gap that _you_ created, or in this case her parents created it but she did absolutely nothing to try and mend the relationship sooner, even as she got older, and now she's demanding he fix something that he never broke? In fact, she even went out of her way to attack and berate him when their dad died, she doesn't get to try and play Happy Family now. Story 2: "It's very important to me" Then why don't _you_ do it? If it's that important to you then wouldn't you want to do it yourself to make sure it's done right? Also, what's with other people deciding that they get to choose what someone else does with their day off/vacation?

[@lorifiedler13]

Sis was only 8 when he was kicked out. Wonder what BS the parents told the other kids.

[@rebeccahayward9607]

Story 2: In my city, there is a company called 'Rent-A-Hubby' which is essentially a jack-of-all-trades kind of job; gardening, plumbing, house moving etc. This is basically what OP's wife is doing to him, without the benefit of being payment. The wife sucks.

He should demand to be paid for the tasks

[@TsukiKageTora]

That “ESH” comment on story 2 doesn’t understand anything about a man in an abusive relationship with his wife, where the wife is the abusive one. He was open with her about wanting his days off to be for him and she keeps calling him selfish but she doesn’t want to do the things she promises her family and friends to do even on her own days off. If she is quick to call him selfish and guilt him for wanting his days off of work to be about himself to do things she promised other people she would do, then she is manipulative enough to twist the narrative and make OP look like the bad guy as he “doesn’t want to help her out”. One wrong move, he could have his whole life ruined depending on how toxic and manipulative his wife I’d question if that red flag of a woman is worth being married to if I were OP.

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes! Perhaps he could start off with doctor's visits or something like that, and build up.

[@locusxe1411]

Agreed. He’s clearly told her no multiple times

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I hope he leaves her selfish a$$ and has the divorce papers served on *her* day off.

[@brigidtheirish]

Agreed. Like one commenter said, she's a walking red flag.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@brigidtheirish i wish they go to a costume competition for Halloween and when she questions what costume she wants to wear, OP should say “but you’re already wearing a red flag costume, aren’t you going as that?”

[@Metonymy1979]

That house sounds perfect. Get a little pool...chef's kiss. Also, a smaller, already built house, is better for the environment.

[@robertx8020]

This house sounds amazing Small but big enough ... in the woods with wild karens running around ...sounds like a dream

[@Metonymy1979]

@@robertx8020 Get you a bb gun and paint the house Pink. Let the games begin!

[@robertx8020]

@@Metonymy1979 No no no ...you should first ask all the neigbours to vote on which color they like and hate ..THEN pick the color most of them hate :P What if they all like pink? Do you really want to take that risk? ;)

[@tgbedini]

Yeah, I had a twinge of envy too. Nice, cozy living area, and a 3 car garage for whatever; storage, workshop, band rehearsal. (hey, garage bands need garages, amirite?) And woods and stuff? Wow, and of course getting a great price is icing. Tell the neighbors that, by keeping the home value down, he's saving them on property taxes, and they're welcome. 🤣🤣🤣

[@robertx8020]

@@tgbedini very good point :)

[@keul2704]

Love how that comment on story 2 was like “and you have to say no and make it stick”… like dude, he’s the one that has BEEN saying no with no effect! She’s the one who needs to listen and be an adult for once!

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

I agree he does tell her NO but according to her when he says NO he's being selfish and inconsiderate so he has no choice but to cave in to her demand so I don't blame OP for lying to her once just to get some time to himself without needing to be the wife's errand boy

[@keul2704]

@@nerdygeekgamer5528 interesting that by her account when he says no that he’s being selfish. Still goes back to the main point of her simply having to understand that no does in fact mean no. Coming from the perspective of being forced into many things regardless of refusal, it’s sickening that the response just happens to be “well you just didn’t say no effectively enough”, instead of putting the focus on the person essentially ignoring the refusal outright.

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

@@keul2704 If I didn't know any better I swear that OP'S wife has select hearing as in she only hears what she wants to hear and if the answer isn't to her liking then she does what she wants regardless of what everyone else wants

[@keul2704]

​@@nerdygeekgamer5528 Unfortunately, that's not exactly an uncommon phenomenon. Not with any particular group, but more with folks who don't want to lose control in their relationship or otherwise can't handle being told "no". I hate it even more when idiots on the internet decide that they "should have made it stick", entirely absolving the wife from any wrongdoing in the communication process of listening that caused this in the first place. Reminds me of cases of SA or SH where the victim would be blamed for their assault because they weren't emphatic enough in their refusal.

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

@@keul2704 It reminds me of that one episode of Law and Order SVU that I saw were a young woman went up against her abuser in court and the JUDGE was a TOTAL A HOLE towards her claiming if she hadn't done the professional job she did then she wouldn't have gotten what she got basically like you said her receiving the blame for what her rapist did to her

[@LunarMoon843]

The best man speech is about both bride and groom it’s to say how they are great for each other not roasting your best friend/ brother/ or anyone.

[@ashh4929]

Exactly, it isn't supposed to be a Comedy Central special. I mean, a couple low key funny quips or zingers are fine but the meat and potatoes of the speech is honoring the couple and how you have been positively impacted by gaining a new dear friend/family along with your well wishes to them.

[@LunarMoon843]

@@ashh4929 Yeah. Fun thing is I think my dad and his brothers did the fun quips and zingers but never just roasted each other. I was at most of the weddings.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: NTA, and to answer your question Mark. I remember this story and tried to find out what the original saying was back then. As it turns out, the first example was in Old Germanic, translated it comes out as "Kin-blood is not spoiled by water". It was a sailor quote that meant 'no matter how far on the high seas you might travel, you still had family bonds and duties'. This is based on wikipedia as they will have a better chance of being right. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water Edit to clarify: This meant it had nothing to do with friendship originally, it had to do with sailors reminding themselves they still had family they needed to visit every now and then.

[@dorcasmalahlela2805]

What I learned was it comes from "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," meaning that chosen bonds, like peers you shed blood with in battle, can be stronger than womb links, like family. Basically, covenant in the sense of an agreement or a bond or an oath.

[@lorifiedler13]

Ops garage home is only comparable to other 1 bedroom homes with 3 garages and equal land. OP, rock that place. It sounds awesome.

[@lorifiedler13]

OP could really piss off the neighbors by inviting friends to store their RVs on your land.

[@kitkakitteh]

12hour shifts and errand boy on your one day off? Oh hell no.

And worse an errand boy for OTHERS.

[@animefallenangel]

The best man speech - honestly, most people won't remember a majority of it unless it was particularly unique. The only part of the best man's speech I remember from my own wedding was in reference to his surname change because it was witty (my husband changed his name before we married as he had some baggage with it) and was directed to me. "You thought you found your Mr (W)right, then he went and changed his name!"

[@LauraB12k]

Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself is a clean break from toxic family members.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 4 will definitely be the AH. If she already has anxiety this will probably make her burst into tears and be embarrassed on her special day. I just don't think it would be worth it. OP is making this about himself for no reason.

[@locusxe1411]

Yeah. But she does need to cut back a little.

[@katwiltz1134]

she volunteers for him to do other people outside of the household all the time I think she's up to something shady and needs them out of the way.

[@SkiesOfYellow]

Cutting off family is... both hard and not hard. I went no contact with my mother for 10 years. I only let her back into my life after I got married and I only did that because I finally felt like I was in a stable enough position that I could handle it if she hadn't changed at all. Our relationship is still strained, and we don't see each other often, but when we do, it's not the pure toxicity that it was when I was younger. I'm not sure if that's because she knows I can and will cut her off again or if she's actually changed. When I first cut her off, it was such a huge relief. And I honestly didn't miss her much while we weren't talking--we'd never been close, and it took a long time for me to accept that I wasn't the failure she always told me I was. Cutting her off was easy... but my sister has a lot of the same toxic traits as my mom does (she's my mom's golden child), and there were lots of times when I should have cut her off, but I didn't because of my niece and because she was diagnosed with cancer when she was in her mid twenties and it felt heartless to abandon her then, even when she was being awful.I think it's harder when there are peripherals--kids, siblings, niblings, etc. If I had underaged siblings, I might not have been able to cut my mother off as readily as I did.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

Story 2 wife: how dare you take a day off without consulting me?!?! You don't get your own autonomy!!!!

[@carolroberts4614]

And he had some fun!! The nerve of him!!

@@carolroberts4614 I am picturing the wife going full Greta Thurnberg with "HOW DARE YOU!"

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes indeed! I hope he did manage to get things sorted out with her! A very controlling person.

[@roarkkariyama]

11:36 OP's wife is crazy with the projecting

[@purpleiguana208]

Story 3: I know sometimes if you buy a vacant lot in a community, there's an expectation that you will build on it in a certain amount of time, but that would have been disclosed at the time of purchase. It wasn't, so OP has no need to build.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Complaining about values is bogus. Real estate comps are looking for like properties. If you have a 1BR/1BA place, it's not a comp for the next door 3BR/2BA. That's just stupid. If the city or county isn't on you to do something in particular, there is no basis for complaint.

[@reggiereggiesauce5755]

I reckon because in a conservative’s view, 8 is too young to know what gay is and why it’s wrong, that the parents covered up him being disowned as saying he was a thief, or was trying to manipulate the parents into giving him more money, which would explain her reaction to him being involved in financial matters, and could explain the reactions of other family members, too.

[@artismathis670]

Story 1: Richard Boch once said “family is not one of just blood but the joy and respect in each other’s life”

[@dillongage]

Story 2: even the household stuff FOR the couple needs to has ts limits. Even if its just basic chores, you can't expect someone to spend their entire day off cleaning, especially if they only have 1 day off. I prefer to do my chores and errands on workdays. I would prefer work 12hrs, then go shopping and do laundry, and then the spend the rest of the night cleaning, if it means I get to do absolutely nothing on my day off.

[@BraveryWing26]

2nd OP's wife treats him like a chore guy. I would divorce her if she kept this up.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 3: NTA OP's neighbors said that they expected him to build a large house when he already has a house he is happy with. I expected that I would have the option of purchasing a PS5 at its original price by now! You shouldn't depend on your expectations coming to pass, especially when the expectations are completely out of your control.

[@evelynberrios8164]

#1, so happy for you and your partner. You created your own family. Sorry your “blood”’ aren’t there for you. Cut them out. Keep your friends close to you and enjoy your life. You really tried but it will never be enough for them. It’s their loss.

[@jeannebuttons5301]

About the story of the OP who bought the land and is staying in the mother-in-law suite, they should do some lovely landscaping and make the rest of the property a wonderful garden, heck they can even probably grow vegetables and plant fruit trees if there's no rules against it.

[@TheArmyOfGoats]

So…. basically I learned that semen is thicker than blood….

[@MarkNarrations]

Every day is a learning day!

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

"Too unforgivable..." Unforgivable is unforgivable.

[@MalachioftheForest]

I think you meant to say "kick rocks" there Mark 😆 "*sigh* no one else has said it so I guess I'll say it"

[@ScooterBond1970]

How's come we never get a "beat cheeks"?

[@darthlukeskywalker]

Op number 4 should read the original one at the bachelor party and the pre approved one at the wedding

[@littleolmee]

S1:It's too bad things couldn't be different for OP, but at least now he will have some peace of mind without dealing with that horrible family. S2: NTA. It's wrong of OP's wife to rent him out to do things for others on his days off. Things would be different if it was errands for them, but OP's wife is in the wrong for planning on him to help others on his days off. I'm concerned about the lying, that's never a good sign. They need therapy to work through their issues if they can't work it out themselves. S3: NTA. The neighbors need to mind their own businesses. OP found what he is doing is legal. What OP is doing is financially smart. I'd be finding the property lines & building the tallest fence legally allowed. S4: YWBTA. If OP knows she's stressed don't add to it. No, Best Man speech doesn't equal joking & roasting. Just tell them how much they mean to you & how happy you are they are married.

[@llamabrat07]

Final story: most likely YTA. But I would like to know what kind of things the sister removed and why she deemed them inappropriate. They might be really bad and truly cringe worthy and should be removed. Or they might be innocuous stories that could make people laugh, and the sister is so stressed from wedding planning she is overly concerned about the speech. But considering how OP sees best man speeches I’d lean more towards them likely being things that should be removed. If they weren’t that bad OP could try talking to their sister and see if there is any way to incorporate some of what was removed by toning them down. But he shouldn’t just go back to the original unedited speech.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 2: If she insists on knowing every second of OP's schedule, she needs to stop demanding OP run HER errands. If they are so important, SHE can do them herself. If she can't be bothered; it's not OP's problem either. I would just refuse to do it. All OP has to do is refuse. HER things will get done by her if they really matter. Maybe OP can start volunteering her for things on HER day off. She just doesn't want OP doing things she doesn't like/agree with. NTA story 3: The land is OP's NOT the neighbours. If they don't like it, tough. They can go pound salt. OP should put a fence around the land to keep the neighbours out. There is no way they can do anything more than what OP wants. NTA story 4: Weddings aren't just about the bride. They are supposed to be a celebration of the COUPLE getting married. To many people forget that the groom is getting married as well. If he doesn't care, then OP should add back some of the things she cut. Just only use the tame/safe stories. NTA

[@brigidtheirish]

3: I think the property sounds *awesome,* honestly. An acre of mostly forest? *Sign me up!* 4: Groom doesn't care *but* doesn't want to piss off the bride. She's already stressed, self-conscious, and probably has an anxiety disorder and *her own brother* thinks it'd be a good idea to *humiliate her?* Gonna have to disagree with you, here.

[@SIXPACFISH]

Story 4. My speech would be short. I would say I wrote a funny speech but Sis demanded I make changes to it. So here is me new Sister approved speech. "Hello everyone, welcome to the wedding. And in conclusion I would like to thank everyone for coming out to support the happy couple". Then set down.

[@lienemeid]

I'm not going to lie, I've timed a nap around your schedule 😅 happy to doze off listening 🥰

[@MarkNarrations]

I don't blame you Lien, enjoy your nap :)

[@phoenixmoon5580]

It's his voice. It sounds safe and soothing. I have health conditions that make me suddenly feel 'must rest/sleep or else' as warning signs of another symptom. I get myself safe/less likely to be hurt, get a pillow or folded jumper under my head, and close my eyes to hear the episode. I tend to refer to having a video on and paying attention to only the audio as 'background noise' (read: something that doesn't hurt my ears/how the sound is interpreted, and prevents mental health stuff from causing even more problems. Background noise =Mental health weevils repellant). I find that reddit stories tend to include conflict and/or social 'what do I do?', which I find quite difficult to deal with and just the story can cause problems for me. So to be able to just hear/read the stories are an accomplishment for me. Therefore, it is strange but also really awesome to be comforted by Mark's voice whilst hearing things that would stress me out. It's kinda like therapy, but far better for this issue!

[@darklightmagus1222]

I took the best man speech out of my reception program. Sometime during the ceremony, the deacon had us, bride and groom, each select four people who know us best from our guests. He asked them to share what quality each of them likes most about us (the one that chose them) and one piece of advice they'd like to give us. This stepped into the bridesmaid and best man's speeches quite a bit. We all agreed they were no longer needed. Editing to add that I really recommend others to do this at the ceremony or at the reception. Each person we chose got to make a quick nice speech about what they liked about us and a little advice to help us in life or marriage.

[@albertgongora6944]

The only thing I got to say on the second story is this if Opie's wife is so concerned about these errands then she needs to get off her lazy ass and do them herself or at least be fair with him because of this was somebody constantly making me do this I'd be walking out of their lives real fast or I make them get out of my life real fast I'm not trying to say that Opie has to you know breakup with his wife or divorced her but at least he should try to like talk it out with her and if it doesn't work maybe there might just have to be a separation time coming up between them because to me the wife's personality just breathe toxic and controlling Behavior

[@axepagode33626]

I find it funny that that your wife knows your work schedule and gives you tasks on those days. Do you know her schedule? You should give her tasks on her day off.

[@phoenixfire8978]

Story 3: I’d suggest building a custom half acre dog run using lawn gnomes and pink plastic lawn flamingoes. Don’t forget the tangled Christmas lights for better nighttime visibility.

[@romonaelrod7870]

Relatives are people you share DNA with, friends are the family you choose for yourself.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: *Damn, OP! That's a good comeback!* :'D And NTA. The sister is pretty much ignoring how her brother and herself went about trying to get you visit the now-late father. *When you've shown no desire to reconnect with them, based on how they treated you.* So, yeah. No need to deal with them. If they insist on more contact, just hit them with NC. :D

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 NTA, Love the comment back at your sister

[@dmikewilcox]

I, as an American, find it cute how enamored you are with 'kick rocks' and 'pound sand'. I imagine you feel similarly to how I feel about 'taking the piss' and 'cheeky bastard'.

[@MarkNarrations]

yeah most likely. Not sure what it is, absolutely love it. I tried using it in a conversation once, said something about a company calling me so I said they can "kick rocks" I got an EH? look :)

[@dmikewilcox]

@@MarkNarrations English phrases using words we know, but used in new quirky phrases are always fun. When I was a teen, we knew Australians said 'no worries' instead of our 'don't worry about it' or 'forget about it'. Now everyone here says it. Even 5 years ago we didn't. The internet let's us all learn new ways to tell Karen's to 'pound sand'. Another fun one we use is to extend your middle finger 🖕 towards the offending Karen, and say 'sit and spin/rotate'. I love language. Oh... if you are in deep trouble, you are 'up shit's creek without a paddle'. Anyway love your enthusiasm.

[@HairBear1225]

12:50 totally NTA. My ex would always treat my being home as another resource for her to use. I would consistently neglect to tell her when i was free

[@curtisberard7831]

"Yeah and if you want to see some of that thick blood FLOW just keep up this behavior."

[@jsschvz0]

On the last Story: Do the original Speech at the Bachelor Party and the approved one at the wedding. Like that you get to roast the friend and keep the sister happy.

[@davidkermes393]

Don't give any speech. Just say congratulations and wish them all the best. End of story.

[@Coira2]

Story 3: I'd invest in a small pool, a tall fence, and about 300 pink lawn flamingos, and if the neighbours don't like they aren't invited to my flamingo pool.

[@davidkermes393]

I go for the flamingos!!

[@HealingSpectrumIntuition]

I don’t even know why you were still talking to your sister. If it were me, I’d never talk to any of them again.

[@nataliereeves3594]

Story 1: why all of a sudden do they want to get together? Is it money, image, organ or something else entirely?

[@skeltonslay8er781]

Story 3: f those guys. You said you work on your cars, maybe park a project car outside for a while, just to spite them

[@jackspring7709]

Story 2: If it's so important to her, why doesn't she do it herself? Tell her to get bent. It's your day off. NTA! Story 3: And again - if they want it refurbished so badly - let them chip together for the money to do it.

[@fuilli]

story 1: no, the blood in the family or the water of the womb is weak and thin. blood spilled with one another is thick and strong. ever had a scab? that's blood, dried, and strong. the blood spilled together is the greatest bond, as it's not only a shared experience and shared pain, but a symbol of endurance together. through the thick of blood and the thin of water, the bond is unbreakable. the bond of blood by family, however... the blood in the body is like water, weak and thin

[@BraveryWing26]

"Quote I would never get away in the comments" First OP is gosh darn awesome.

[@civivva4501]

I love the sound of that property. It isn’t the usual boring flat or house. I would love to find and afford a property like that.

[@phoenixmoon5580]

Final Story: There is nothing stopping the best man from reading the edited version, then saying how much the best man genuinely and deeply cares about both the bride and the groom. Maybe do a suitable lead in line beforehand that can subtly indicate to the bride that the speech has gone off their script. Then something as simple as 'I care for you individually, I care about you being together, and I am honored to know both of you and see your relationship come together'. Then either repeat a previous 'so raise your glasses' line, or make up your own 'may everything only get better for you and your relationship from this day on'.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 2: NTA, and it's time he put his wife in her place. He needs to tell her to get over herself or get out.

[@susanlosey9511]

NTA. It’s your home. Tell your neighbours to quit being so mosey. It’s not their business. Put a fence up. Fences make great neighbours. Keeps them away from you!

[@scousemouse9566]

Love listening to you while cooking dinner and just before bed, thank you 🎃🎃🧇🧇🧇🧇🧇🎃🎃

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

Oooh spooky waffles!

[@jenngriffith5746]

The speech one. My sister made an impromptu speech during my wedding and it was a train wreck. She humiliated me by calling me by her stupid nicknames for me, "Jenni-fart" and Jenni-bukkake." In front of our grandmother! She complained that I got married before her (she's older), and essentially insulted my relationship with my husband. I can't even begin to describe the bridesmaidzilla nightmare she put me through leading up to my wedding. She's also a choosing beggar, a narcissist, and an entitled parent, so I have some stories.

[@bettybell63]

NTAH I used to do that 2-3 times a year. Otherwise my husband or one of my kids would always end up staying home for some reason.

[@AnnaK101]

Story 3: So the neighbours would like to see a nice big house on your lot? How about hiring a massive jumping castle for a long weekend and have all your friends over. See if the neighbours like THAT big house. Story 4: It's the bride and groom's day, not a day to test out OP's comedic skills. OP ITA. Especially if his speech resembles the story best found by googling bucks party and "I'll wrestle ya"

[@-mokerly-5984]

If the neighbors can't kick rocks into the shape of a house for the OP of story 3, they should give up and go pound sand.

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

4:10 - Different issue for me but I like OP's feeling. I'm also my Mom's window dressing, decorated with her oldest and youngest blood grandkids. Talk just because they exist but nothing more than that.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! I hope you are doing well and I wish you a great day!! Don't you love that when you're a bit sweaty your glasses start to slip off your nose and you can't do anything about it? Love those times

[@MarkNarrations]

Can't you get like something to hold them on, a glasses rope thingy? :)

[@chulutheimposter5415]

@@MarkNarrations Yea, but I'm getting new glasses soon (and possibly some medication) because my eyesight is slowly getting worse, so I have to wait to get those lol

[@p.fantuci]

Story 1: NTA OP went through an extremely traumatic experience and it's not up to anyone but OP to decide if/when to "get over it". Don't feel bad for removing toxicity from your life. It's great to love family but you always gotta love yourself MORE. Story 2: Not a gapping AH, but still a H for enabling it. It's hard to complain that you are being used when, even though, you are aware of it, you still don't say no. If OP simply said no and didn't cave in to pressure he wouldn't have had to lie. The reason why his wife treats him as a servant is because he allowed it from the start. Story 3: OP should simply tell the neighbours to buy the property back from him since they are so worried about property values and then market it up at 10x what he's paying and when they complain he can say "I'm just bringing property value up as you wanted" Story 4: 10000% a giant gapping AH. Knowing his sister's anxiety condition and the stress she's been through with preparing for the wedding of her dreams, that shouldn't even be a question. What is more important: the happiness of the sister on her special day or a few laughs from guests who'll probably not even remember it on the next day? It's one thing if she's being unreasonable but all she did was asking to remove the bits she wasn't confortable with. Don't be a prick.

OP has said no, wifey then throws a tantrum like a toddler until she gets her way. Got a feeling where he lives a divorce would hurt him worse than putting up with this crap.

[@wickedbird1538]

11:00 I used to stop telling my husband when I took “ME Days” until that evening because I wanted to be ALONE. 😊😊He was cool with it.

[@FireCaT-]

Wife of story 2: "You had a 12 hour shift, shouldn't you be miserable?"

[@tammypearce7491]

I'm late here but why is it ok for a 15 year old to be upset with a 6 year old for what the parents did to her? What am I missing?

[@KE-hr4sb]

Story 2: NTA, but you don't have an errand problem, you have a wife problem. Next time she accuses you of being "selfish," flip it around on her. Book ALL her days off with errands for your friends, family, acquaintances, babysitting their kids. If she complains, throw her own words back at her and tell her she shouldn't behave like a selfish jerk. When she gets mad, explain that she doesn't have an issue hiring you out to everybody and their kids, and if you complain, she calls you selfish. Ask why it should be different for her than you? She WILL get mad. But, either this could be the eye-opener she needs, or (and I think this more likely) she'll hold a grudge and make you pay for it in other ways (sleeping on the couch, cold-shoulder, etc). At that point, you've shown her how she treats you and she doesn't care how you feel so long as she gets her way, and you then need to decide if this is a relationship you want to be stuck in for the rest of your life. Good luck. Story 3: NTA. "They said if I was buying a demolished building land, there was an expectation I would build." Tell the neighbors if they had plans for how the rebuilding should go, they could have bought the property. But they didn't, and lost the opportunity to complain. They have no more right to tell you what to do with your home, than you have to tell them what to do with theirs. Story 4 commentary: Aww, Mark missed an opportunity to say "Original, or extra spicy."

[@sandragarner2912]

Kicked out: That is not family. You spoke of hosting. That tells me that either your husband's family accepts you, or that you have a large friend group. THOSE are your family.

[@Lugialuvr]

Story 4: YWBTA There is nothing worse than when someone goes behind someone else's back and the fact that he's like 'oh I'll poke fun at her 'anal retentiveness'' that'd make it the absolute worst thing. I hope the OP wisened up and decided not to be a meathead dingus and respected the couples big day

[@RSN2277]

An idea: He could make the speech and then have the toast. At the end say, "Anyone wants to hear unedited version, meet me at the bar."

[@BigFishSmolPond]

Family is what you make it. And if you make it a place where someone isn’t welcome or accepted then I believe you get what you give. His ‘family’ gave them space so now they’re getting space.

[@doggolovescheese1310]

Story One: Good for you Op!!

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA. You take a day off to relax, not to work for someone else.

[@rylashadow18]

Good day everyone. I got the art piece finished, sent off and it was met with great praise so that makes my day. My hands getting a nice days worth of rest due to all the work I gave it though. I got some study work done just before lunch and am about a bit of more than half way done with some work on the courses. I was thinking of extending the course one more time to really hunker down and focus on the final exam just so that I feel more prepared. Its been really rewarding too. If you need time to reach a goal please take it. That goal is so worth your best effort especially if you feel like you're improving or getting to a better place. Just know that the work and effort you put it will come out in the greatest of worths cause you gave your all as well as your best.

[@CainEverest]

"No. My husband's blood did not run through my body. But his semen did and that was close enough." THE WAY I FUCKING CACKLED 😂😂😂

[@jessedunn9835]

First guy didn't have an excuse for having contact with them. If extended family members hadn't kept contact it's actually because they also disowned them same as rest. Really should have went for inheritance and made speach a funeral. Something like we're all gathered here for same reason to see the unloving, uncaring dead beat sorry excuse for a father off to rot. Still they didn't press charges like they should have back years ago and they'll donate their share of his estate to a charity that help kids with inhuman families like yours. Then wish they join him sooner rather than later.

[@RRW359]

"My neighbors were angry at me for lowering their property values" As someone who lives in a City where property/rent prices keep going up in price, thank you.

[@queen_of_flatulence]

Hi Mark you're beautiful! I'm excited today! I'm going to be starting graphic design classes soon!!!!!!

[@MarkNarrations]

Oh wow! That sounds awesome, what kind of thing is your focus do you know? Logos?

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

Ooh nice! Art classes are the best 😊

[@queen_of_flatulence]

@@MarkNarrations the class is basically a general Adobe certification that I could use for a few graphic design jobs.

[@kimanireid6111]

2:36 - 2:49 damn! I didn't expect that response from op at the end 😂

[@senor834]

Blood is thicker than water but so is sewage water

[@MarkNarrations]

Haha

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@jessicawaldeback]

Hey Mark. You say that you love hearing about what we do while listening to your stories. What I did last night while listening to you is something I doubt that many others have done. I was heavily pregnant and started having my contractions coming closer together. I paused the video to log the latest one into the app I used. That’s when my water broke, and our newest daughter was born 16 minutes after that. Just minutes before the ambulance arrived. My husband got to act as a stand in midwife while getting instructions from 112. It’s lucky this is baby number 4, so it sounds more dramatic than it was. It’s been about 12 hours since then an I just started where I left on the video.

[@trainerlesseevee478]

The video always comes up right before my break ends 😭

[@MarkNarrations]

Noooooo! :)

[@Steffi.EchoGraphix]

I dared anyone to even think about best man or bridesmaid speeches. I wasn't going there with his best friend, nor mine.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Story 2: NTA. This story isn't about OP's wife assigning jobs for OP. This is about OP's wife not trusting OP enough to have a day off without getting into trouble, or doing something that wife doesn't approve of.

[@soulechelon2643]

Can I just say that 2:43 was one of the best comebacks I have ever heard.

[@necrofai6713]

If the property one is in the US the OP can tell them Your Welcome since lower property value also means lower property taxes if they go to court to fight them. (My dad actually did that recently since we live in an older house that has some small issues. Managed to shave a good bit off our taxes)

[@paden1865able]

Feeling like crud, not moving much today. Its too painful, to the extent that I feel sick when I do.

[@simana9891]

Wow, I’m timed the opening of KZbin well.

[@MarkNarrations]

I saw that you opened youtube and was like, I'll release the video now :)

[@simana9891]

@@MarkNarrations aww, you’re too sweet 😊