r/AmITheA**hole for Accidentally Giving My Cousin $50,000?

[@gilded_lady]

Umm, no R Slash, he doesn't need to check with his wife to give away scratchers. In fact, I'm still willing to bet she had zero issues before that day. She's greedy, period.

[@1985toyotacamry]

Plus OP been doing this for years agreed NTA 0/5 buttholes.

[@mr.niffler9527]

You're spitting straight facts, honestly R Slash, c'mon you're better than that.

[@digizilla164]

@@mr.niffler9527 Hes really not.

[@BigT.Larrity]

He gets so weird when wives are involved, I really get the feeling that his own wife (who he barely goes a single video without mentioning) must wear the pants in their relationship or something But yeah he's out of his mind on this one

[@cheeseycarp5364]

@@BigT.Larrity i dont mean to insult R/slash at all, but when it comes to stories with wives/children involved he sometimes has a bias against the male figure in the story, like the father/husband/boy friend, most of the time he is spot on with his ratings but when the story involves what I previously stated, they sometimes can be a little off

[@kimberleymcmillan682]

Disagree on the 1st story. OP is NTA. He says he’s been doing the scratch tickets for a while. If his wife had an issue with them being possible winners then she should have said something in the beginning.

[@randomaccount64]

Exactly by how it's sounded she's never complained about the $5 $10 or $50 ones so she has no right to argue about the full about

[@lisabarrows9792]

Totally agree. This has been going on for years and never a problem. Wifey is just a jealous B word IMO.

[@lancerevell5979]

OP gave cousin five bucks. The ticket won fifty grand. OP is NTA. His greedy wife is very much the AH.

[@AzureKyle]

Perfect example of how people change when money is involved. Wife is showing her true colors here.

[@randomaccount64]

@@AzureKyle it was just pure greed if she wants money so bad find a job where you work at home or better yet a day care where your kid can go

[@Notarobot562]

He’s been doing the tickets for YEARS. If there was no complaints then, there shouldn’t be now.

[@iridescentsolace]

I was gonna say lol I disagreed with rslash, she knows about the tickets bc he’s been giving them away for YEARS, she’s just salty and jealous

[@laceyelliott2826]

Exactly 0/5

[@Rolbell]

IKR? It seems she’s been fine with giving the tickets when they were losers. She only had a problem with it when it was a winning ticket. For OP, 💯 NTA.

[@grottymink7784]

Personally I'm subscribed to the theory that Rslash purposely does bad takes on occasion.

[@craigsticht5701]

@@grottymink7784 just to keep us on our toes

[@luthianwilliams1622]

4:26 I don't think OP deserves any butthole score here... Let me explain why: this tradition has been going on for years and he has always given lottery tickets without his wife ever getting pissed off about it... Only when somebody won such a large amount did she have an issue. She probably did not expect anybody to win big like that and is suddenly wanting all of that money for herself...

[@WickedBarracuda]

LITERALLY. The season of giving, she previously had no problem. ONLY when someone won, is when she's upset. It isn't even an assured chance he'd win THAT much. OP even BOUGHT it for the cousin, so it's NOW his. A box of chocolate can easily cost $5 like that ticket did. So it doesn't matter.

[@Nixias_]

My exact thoughts

[@javontebrown2099]

Instead of him being R / it should be Rdiot

[@xokirei]

glad the comments are all in agreement that rslash definitely has his husband pov bias up for the first story lol. if his wife didn't want him to gift his cousin a ticket, then she would've complained about it before finding out what it's worth don't ya think

[@spitbukket6862]

yeah he's literally been doing this for years lol. if she had a problem with it she would've said something earlier no?

[@LodanSD]

She didn't complain about the $50 ticket, did she?

[@ZombieSazza]

The wife hasn’t complained for years, but magically has a problem when his cousin wins some money? Huh, weird…… His cousin really deserves those lotto ticket wins.

[@BeeWhistler]

Seriously! What a windfall to have in a family that needs it. $50,000 the mother would never accept, given to her son who is just starting out, at the cost of only $5 to the family member who gave it. I think this man just saw a side of his wife she should have kept hidden, maybe forever.

[@marlysedaynou3085]

EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! Like, if she had a problem based on the principle, she would have complained about it way sooner. She's just petty because the cousin won, it's pathetic.

[@casekocsk]

Money changes everyone. Simple.

[@dracko158]

She thinks $10 is fine, but $50,000 is suddenly a problem? The reason she's mad is because she is salty that she wasn't the winner. The one who doesn't deserve the money is HER, so she has ZERO say in this situation. When she said "MAYBE we'll give some to cousin" proves that she's gonna spend the rest of the money on make-up, purses, and possibly expensive wine.

[@adiinbar993]

I have to add that rSlash's commentary is...I'm trying to avoid the word "idiotic", but having a hard time finding a workable alternative. What is he thinking?! It's a $5 gift, period, and it's cheaper than most boxes of chocolates. The fact that someone could win $50K on it is irrelevant, because not only is it not money that they're giving, *_it's not as if that's money they would have won if he hadn't given his cousin the ticket, because he didn't give away a ticket they had bought for themselves and intended to scratch off, he only bought it to give as a gift, otherwise someone else would have bought it._* So his wife is so bratty and self-centered that she begrudges someone else's good fortune just because they're getting something and she isn't. There's no reason she wouldn't be just as jealous if the cousin had won that money on a ticket he bought himself, because either way its not money that she could have had if he didn't. The only difference that the fact that OP bought it for him makes is that this way his wife thinks she has a way to take it away from him and claim it for herself (which from a legal perspective she's dead wrong, but that's a separate issue). Saying that OP should have asked for permission because someone could win $50K that they wouldn't have had either way, just because it could lead to spleenful jealousy on his wife's part, is basically saying that he has to walk on eggshells and cater to his wife's serious character flaws. This woman sounds like a purebred Karen. Any marriage where you need permission to buy someone a $5 gift just because it might be a lot more valuable to the recipient than what you spent on it is a marriage to get out of quick!

[@andrewgonzalez7143]

Sorry RSlash, first OP is totally blameless. He performed a selfless act, and there's no way anyone could have expected such a big winner. OP spent the 10 bucks expected and nothing more. The wife's crazy.

[@elysekinscher5624]

Agreed. He shouldn’t have to worry about others getting hurt feelings over another persons luck

[@666Vampirefromhell]

Agreed. The wife is clearly just jealous and petty. OP needs to tell her that the cousin won that money fair and square, and that shee needs to suck up and shut up.

[@Ali-kf5bd]

Personally I don't think the wife should have a say in whether he buys the ticket in the first place either. It's not like a super expensive gift to the buyer so it really doesn't affect the wife at all.

[@666Vampirefromhell]

@@Ali-kf5bd Agreed. My mum often buys scratch cards as stocking stuffers at Christmas. If someone were to win thousands from one, that money would be theirs fair and square.

[@eyeruscat9439]

I agree, especially because the guy said that this was a tradition, meaning that it’s been going on for quite some time, and his wife is probably already aware of it, and he didn’t mention her having an issue with it before this. Because of this, we’ve got to assume that she was fine with it until someone actually won. Now she’s just salty.

[@GTSE2005]

First story: NTA, OP's wife is probably just salty that his cousin won the lottery and not her.

[@mommabear1986]

It's just so strange that someone would think, hey, I'm stable and my kids are set for college.... buuuut, I could have a little more if I just robbed this kid of a blessing and created disharmony in the family, soooooo..

[@javijandro14]

I feel like rslash is wrong on that one, nobody wins a lotto ticket, it is maybe in the billions the possibilities of winning, and the whole purpose was just for them to earn maybe $10-100 at best, wife is the butthole, OP isn't, and cousin isnt

[@annika5893]

Same thoughts, especially when OP does this as a tradition, every year for who knows how long. And wifey greediest hasn't opposed when people didn't win anything or won only a tiny bit. Also, if OP hadn't bought those tickets as gifts, he probably wouldn't have bought them at all, so wife still wouldn't have an extra 50k.

[@GTSE2005]

@@javijandro14 That's true. I agree that the wife deserves 3/5 buttholes, but OP shouldn't get a butthole score at all since he has clearly stated that it is a family tradition

[@NEPAAlchey]

@@GTSE2005 Rslash barely registers what he reads and often alters wording mid-read that alter stories. Expecting him to remember OP does this every year is a big ask.

[@jacquelynsmith2351]

Story 1 - a lot of ppl in OP's situation: "DAMMIT I wish I'd kept that ticket" OP: "HELL YEAH! Couldn't have happened to a better person!" Can I just point out how awesome OP is?

[@SakarianOutcast]

OP deserves his angel wings.

[@TheMizAngel]

I would have both reactions. I'd be extremely happy they won but sad it wasn't me lol

[@lampionmancz]

The second story: What?! WHAT?! The son literally admitted while screaming that it was one of his "pranks" That father is completely delusional.

[@SarahBisch]

That son is an ass.

[@AriProof]

For the first story, I don’t believe OP even deserves 0.5 since giving scratch off lotto tickets is his tradition of every year, so we can even assume that the wife knows and was indifferent over the years. That is until, of course, it’s 50k and now there is a difference. 🙄 100% NTA for me.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

I was just thinking this.

[@bokgillee1248]

Yea I agree

[@ChongoDaClown]

This man gets it I was about to run to the comments like what you mean ask the wife she was fine with it every other year when the most they won was 50 bucks but now she not what you mean XD

[@GTSE2005]

He shouldn't get a butthole score for following a family tradition

[@ShardRomero]

Thank you, bro it’s literally says he does it every year he ain’t change nothing. I guarantee that when she was using “our” was to trick OP to making him think that they (op and his wife) use the money together but she want it all to herself

[@L1K34PR0]

I disagree with your judgement on the first one rslash. The ticket costs 5 bucks a pop and an unwritten rule of gambling is the house always wins. OP is 100% NTA on this one

[@TheSeVIIn]

Not to mention it was an established tradition, it’s not like this was the first time he gave his family loto tickets

[@akl2k7]

Everybody disagrees with his judgement. If she hasn't complained before, why should he get her permission now? Her allowing it and not complaining about it before all this is basically permission. He just pulled the .5 AH score out of his butt for literally no reason.

[@myweirdsecondchannelwithap9070]

@@TheSeVIIn even if was it wouldnt make a difference

[@MatrixRefugee]

First story: The wife needs to take a step back and realize she's literally being the villain in the Christmas special who wants to ruin Christmas. (Is her name Karen, I wonder??)

[@adiinbar993]

I take it you're referring to the iconic holiday time movie based on a Dr. Seuss book, _How the Karen Stole Christmas_

[@wljj56]

@@adiinbar993 this had me cracking up laughing I needed to see this comment

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

I can't ever imagine checking with my husband before buying lotto tickets as gifts. Absurd!

[@KaiAstraStylist]

I agree, a partner should be able to spend $5 on literally anything thats legal, not involving onlyfans ect, on WHATEVER they want, and unless that $5 is going to seriously impact their lives like if they are dirt poor and it’s going to make them late on rent, i would just consider that controlling behavior or financial abuse

[@ydrahkcin]

I am pretty sure the wife was perfectly fine giving away tickets until one of them turned out to be a winning one. It was a fun tradition, $5 is nothing for a gift. It is like saying "oh wow you gave your cousin painting supplies and now his painting sold for 1m, we deserve some of that money". I avidly dislike the wife in this as she just comes across as greedy and self-centred. Oh, you will give him "some" of the money?

[@justicedunham4088]

Pregnant OP’s husband sounds like one of the biggest losers I’ve ever heard of. Ranting, misogynistic, and lazy. Then the moment he’s pressed on anything, he runs away to his mommy in tears.

[@zagiproductions1630]

"You dont want to have a baby with a man that wants to be babied"

[@michellew3149]

he makes me want to throw up

[@michellew3149]

its people like him that make me doubt ever wanting to have children, since he never showed signs and one day his true colors came out, it scares me lol

[@lisanygaard2720]

You know he didn’t tell MIL and SIL the whole story. If she’s going to raise this kid basically alone, she should dump him.

[@jjnix9517]

Sadly there are men and women like that out there, problem is they act perfect until the first baby and then shoe their true colors, my father was Sadly one, it does a lot of emotional harm to the children as well. It's always best to leave someone like that asap, don't fall for the baby trap.

[@rigandigy2329]

My thoughts on the first story: Personally, I don't see a 10$ lotto ticket as something super different from a box of chocolates gift wise. If you're willing to spend 5$ or more as a gift, why not a lotto ticket?

[@rigandigy2329]

@Chris G Both are good tho bad joke dunno how this was supposed to be funny

[@marukouga135]

@Chris G Kind of irrelevant in the end

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@Chris G I think you mean type two diabetes. I know this is a joke but please don't spread misinformation.

[@affettatoprosciutto7139]

@Chris G It still doesn’t work that way. As they said. Please don’t spread misinformation.

[@animeotaku307]

Jake: “I’m not going to baby you just because you’re pregnant!” OP: “Wow. You’re a jerk.” Jake: *sobbing* “MOOOOOOOM!”

[@melodyharpole8272]

Therapy or divorce. He has controlling issues. Perhaps triggered from the stress of worry about the new baby. But his street is never as excuse to abuse his partner, especially when pregnant.

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

MOMMY~!!!

[@christian10697]

"Jake isn't coming home until you apologize to him." Good. He's not welcome back.

[@troompaloompa7618]

@@spicydiarrhea5662 AYO CHILL CHIIIILLL

[@Ikajo]

@@melodyharpole8272 It is sadly not uncommon for abuse to escalate during pregnancy. And small things that seemed minor suddenly becomes something else entirely.

[@CapAnson12345]

I gave a real bad feeling about #1. That husband needs to take a VERY close look at his family's finances to make sure that wife hasn't been on a shopping spree.

[@banditnmbr087]

That last story is just scary he was so toxic I had to look for an update. Thankfully OP said she is moving back with her parents. She said she will evaluate and see if she missed any other red flags.

[@brittney355]

Second story, let’s not forget that after his friend outed him, Jeremy confessed saying it was a “prank.” Sooooo there’s no reason to believe the housekeeper stole after that.

[@strikeforce1500]

Exactly, no wonder the kid makes pranks the whole time. Daddy, from the story, sounds like an enabler

[@julieann2454]

Right!! That's why my blood boiled when the dad said she should believe the son🤦‍♀️

[@AnAmurTiger]

OP in the first story doesn’t deserve a butthole score. He did legit nothing wrong and made a loving core memory with his family. It’s pure luck. His wife needs to get over herself.

[@myweirdsecondchannelwithap9070]

he does, -5

[@Rose1995cat]

First story: NTA, OP's wife new that he gives his family members tickets every year and she didnt care one bit, but now that there is big money involved, now she has an issue? Money hungry much?

[@mediterraneanchicken1141]

I want to commend the kid who stood up for the in house worker lady, peer pressure is a hard thing to fight and he did the right thing..someone’s raising him right 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️

[@SailorDeath]

First Story: The fact they been doing this for years tells me she was ok with the lottery tickets.

[@rainsongt189]

Considering that op said he's been giving lottery tickets for years, there is no need for him to check with his wife. Wife is a total ah, hubby is in the clear. If my husband had said those things to me when I was pregnant, it would have been the last thing he said to me--as my husband. Marriage is a partnership. Just because he's the breadwinner doesn't make him any less responsible for chores than his stay-at-home wife--who is pregnant.

[@ethanmacleod1721]

Yeah, I’d also argue that because the wife was having such a stupid reaction that the burden shouldn’t be on op to ask her if it’s ok because it should be ok by default

[@NEPAAlchey]

Why does OP need his wife's permission to spend his own money at all? Reverse the genders and people would take rslash over the coals for his misogynistic take. If OP actually gave 50k cash he himself earned his wife STILL has no say in it. If she wants her own money she should get a job.

[@corginand]

@Chris G That's some boomer shit right there

[@tiredman99]

I'd actually argue that chores while he's the breadwinner and she's SAHW/M. However since she's pregnant he definitely should pitch in to help cook and clean

[@rainsongt189]

@Chris G Fifty percent divorce rate has been the standard since I was a kid--over 60 years ago.

[@yougosquishnow]

Husband says things like "this is whats expected of you" then cries when she says the slightest thing back. He is abusive and manipulative. Not ok. Run OP

[@GCT98]

Even if she wanted to keep doing all the chores by herself she SHOULDN'T. Strain during pregnancy can cause complications during birth, including causing early birth. He might be working a full time job but you dont get to stop being pregnant outside of 9 to 5. She's still gona be pregnant, growing a body, going through massive hormonal changes, and is at greater risk of developing serious issues because of it. She deserves to be babied for a bit.

[@sheeptasticSeb]

@@GCT98 During pregnancy the baby literally uses the bones n other body tissue to build itself, a simple thing like a trip during taking out trash can end up with a broken pelvic bone and 6mo in the hospital

[@spiritofthewolf15x]

She needs to dump his ass, get an abortion and move on. People like "Jake" do not deserve the privilege to have their genes be passed on.

[@Parchisi2004]

She updated and said she is staying with her mom. Her mom is pissed at the husband and told her to never talk to him unless she has a witness or can record it. Sounds like the OP is going for a divorce

[@36inc]

Its gaslighting cause he dogpiled her with his inlaws to make her the bad guy. Prolly didnt even tell them its his fault it escalated.

[@SiekoValantin]

The first story literally has no A-hole but the wife. This is a TRADITION he's been doing for YEARS. His wife has no right to Vito this Tradition because SHE didn't win $50,000. What kind of childish BS is that?

[@only1one1me]

He’s been giving lotto tickets for years. She should have said something about it before this happened. Like, this happening was obviously a (rare) but potential outcome.

[@KaiAstraStylist]

Yeah 😂 But she didn’t say anything because she didn’t care until there was money and she wanted it. If op didn’t get it as a gift he wouldn’t be getting that many for himself so she wasn’t going to get that money anyway

[@amandaeriksen8925]

On the first story, OP has done this for years and his wife was fine with it. The second it came as THE BIG winning ticket she freaks out and wants it back. OP is NTA in anyway at all. His wife on the other hand is horrible.

[@JBonkerz96]

Sorry RSlash, I have to disagree about that lottery ticket story. He said he's been giving those scratch tickets for years. Guaranteed his wife knew about them so why would OP have to ask his wife about buying $5 scratch tickets? She just got salty this time because of how much money was won. She clearly didn't mind when the uncle won $50. There is something sketchy about the wife getting that upset. She's probably racked up a ton of debt that the husband doesn't know about.

[@Sam-cx4bf]

*bonk*

[@michellew3149]

she might be involved in an mlm or something and she is embarrassed and does not want to tell OP but needs to repay the scammers

[@akl2k7]

Everybody disagrees with RSlash on this. His reasoning was pulled out of his butt. She gave him permission tacitly by not objecting in the previous years.

[@ObtuseMori]

Parents in the housekeeper story: *come home and find Jeremy standing over a dead body, holding the murder weapon* 10 different witnesses: Jeremy just murdered them, we all saw it. Mum: Jeremy, is this true?? Jeremy: *nervous laughter* Uh... no? Dad: Good enough for me! The dead person must have paid the witnesses to side with them. Mum: But-- Dad: Gosh Wife, sToP qUeStIoNiNg OuR sOn!

[@akl2k7]

Oh, and there's a camera that shows him stabbing the victim multiple times. Nope, he said he didn't do it! He's innocent!

[@TaylerJDust]

First story: OP didn't give away 50k, he gave away $5, and his wife is just jealous.

[@joimumu]

Agree 100%

[@eeveetv9503]

Agreed

[@jessicah3782]

&selfish

[@philiproyd6563]

In the first story, I would be appalled and disgusted if anyone would have regretted someone else than them getting a surprise gift of $50,000.

[@evaniaendellion6173]

The first OP is absolutely NTA. It's his tradition, that may predate his marriage. His wife never had a problem with it until it was worth something. If he stopped giving tickets the following year due to another potential win he'd be the asshole. He's not in the wrong for helping his cousin and standing up to his wife.

[@aceospades6570]

So hold on, OP follows a tradition for years, spends a mere $5 on tickets that are usually nothing, wife has no complaints about it, and now this ONE time where something incredible happens, suddenly he deserves an a**hole score because his wife "is not ok with (him) giving away a $50,000 ticket"? Sorry rSlash, this is another one I'm gonna have to disagree with you on. Like you said, we learn from a young age that there are no takesie-backsies; and OP obviously had no way of controlling what the winnings were so getting mad at him for giving away an unscratched winning ticket is pointless. Bottom line: this is a years-long tradition. It should not have to be broken because someone finally won the jackpot

[@bobbybutler8897]

i bet he only said that to cause discourse and drum up engagement through comments

[@SakarianOutcast]

@@bobbybutler8897 and that's part of the reason I gave r/slash a 0.5 butthole score.

[@LadyOMyth]

That last story, I couldn't believe my ears. I'm all for women being in traditional roles if that's their choice, but I also believe in relationships being equal and partners carrying equal work. I especially believe that more should be done to help the woman if she's pregnant. If I was married and pregnant or just not feeling well in general, I'd hope that my husband would think to help out more and allow me to rest. I mean, if this man treats his wife like this while she's pregnant, I'd hate to ask how he acts when she's sick.

[@lisanygaard2720]

Pregnancy is not a disability and women who think they can just lie on the couch eating bonbons while everyone waits on them like they are the only woman who has ever had a baby are delusional. HOWEVER, pregnant women do need help. They feel weak and sick, particularly in the first few months, and have trouble getting around later. Not to mention the crazy hormonal fluctuations. That is in a healthy pregnancy. This kid is half his and he put her in this situation. He needs to step up. Maybe they should have discussed this earlier, or maybe she doesn’t know him as well as she thinks. He’s a bad husband and will be a bad father. Cut him loose and raise the baby alone, like you would anyway.

[@LadyOMyth]

@@lisanygaard2720 I agree. When I eventually marry and become with child, I don't expect to just sit on a couch and eat all day. I plan to work until I can't and would hope my husband would help when I'm not feeling well. (Not that I'm married, but even as someone who isn't, I'd personally even support said husband even when pregnant if he got sick or didn't feel well. It's what marriage is about, supporting each other through all kinds of weather.) The world doesn't start revolving around you or just stop completely because you get pregnant. It's also not a ticket for everyone else to do things for you. However, it's common curtesy that you don't ask the sitting, nauseous pregnant woman to do something while you're already standing up. Like, wtf?!

[@lilyw3189]

Yeah I wanted to find the original thread just so I could tell that poor lady to dump that asshole; if that's the way he's going to be she'd almost be better off raising the baby on her own just so she doesn't have to listen to his whining - it's not like he's planning to help her out anyway. He can dish it but he can't take it, and now he's trying to pretend it's her fault?

[@LadyOMyth]

@@lilyw3189 Ikr?! There are wonderful men out there, but he is just toxic. She’s better off without him.

[@supercasualgamer513]

In the last story, that was NOT a “red flag,” that was an absolute deal breaker He waited until they were essentially bound for life, as marriage isn’t permanent 🤦‍♂️ She NEEDS to get away from that man He may escalate after that baby drop

[@DaRealFoxoBoxo]

That's what I thought too. The fact that he waited until after op got pregnant to reveal this is the way he felt shows that he knows he's in the wrong. He sounds like a manipulative misogynistic bully.

[@supercasualgamer513]

@@DaRealFoxoBoxo exactly! This is a tactic, for sure 💯💯

[@sourisvoleur4854]

Yep and this will escalate to full-blown abuse.

[@supercasualgamer513]

@@sourisvoleur4854 seems like it

[@mcskrzypek]

Him saying what he said was plain stupid and a Red flag. Him going to his mother and using his sisters to communicate with his own wife was just ridiculous and this is imo where he crossed the line

[@kuckag5710]

Sounds like Jake finally showed his true colors now that OP is (in his eyes) trapped with him because of the baby. That's typical behavior for abusers

[@cronus00]

4:40 He’s been doing this for YEARS right? His wife already knows and had no problem until it was actually a winner

[@DarkEinherjar]

It's clear why Jeremy does what he does: his enabling father, who keeps letting him get away with it.

[@Nerobyrne]

Start hiding his wallet and see how much he's laughing when he can't get to work on time.

[@blankblank00]

"You kinda put yourself in the situation" lol.. no the wife should just be reasonable and understand that the cousin got lucky. She's obviously known about it for years since it's a tradition. It's more like the wife put herself in the situation. Imagine needing permission to buy a lottery ticket. By that logic, any gift where you can win a super rare prize needs permission. Gatcha prizes, winning a sweepstakes, etc. Imagine buying someone those Mr.breast chocolate bars and they happen to win money and having to get permission for that lmao

[@jaspr1999]

"A mothers' job." Yeah... I've heard that one more than a few times in my life and it was crap then and it's crap now. Okay... My wife & I were never able to have our own kids, however, we've raised over 20 kids either through military parents, lost parents, or other reasons that are much worse. We've changed more diapers than I ever want to think about... More crap there. All those kids are adults now and some have kids of their own... More diapers A parent's job is to care for their kids. It is not a gender-specific job as it's just too much to pile on one person when other options are available. I'm a dad, an uncle, grandpa, papa, pops, and the guy that vets the potential dates. My wife does the same with her own monikers and we love each and every one of our kids as well as each other. Our job is to support each other and this 'husband' evidently never got the memo on the wedding vows... Through sickness and health through good times and bad, you are there for each other! No matter what!!! OP, I'd stick to your guns as this boy needs a lesson on being a man. Working a job is what you do, your home life is what you are.

[@wingracer1614]

The man in that story is an absolute piece of trash. You sir, have my respect.

[@GCT98]

Will you accept another already grown kid? Im putting myself up for adopting after reading that

[@jaspr1999]

@@GCT98 - As long as you don't mind being related to very silly folks. 😀

[@GCT98]

@@jaspr1999 I guess I'll fit right in. hi dad!

[@jaspr1999]

@@GCT98 - HI!!!

[@kiddfaith4397]

Last story; if your husband berates you and tells you that, no matter what happens to you, your happiness and comfort isn’t his concern and that your role is to serve him? Believe him and get out. Especially if his family backs him up on this.

[@JayeEllis]

When someone cheats, what a LOT of people ignore/forget is, only that person who betrayed you. The 'homewrecker' isn't the problem. It's the person who made promises and broke them. The other party, most especially when they don't know, owes you nothing.

[@rebeccalahti9468]

That’s an awesome accidental gift 😂 he couldn’t have known it was 50k

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

That tradition sounds fun and the wife is just 🙄. Let the man get the money, Op and his wife obviously don't need it from his description

[@Feynix4]

Also, that’s literally life changing money for OP’s cousin, literally. OP’s wife is just greedy. Idk what got into Rslash with his judgment, the chances of winning the lotto are slim enough as it is, you’re more likely to be struck by lighting than win the lotto anyways.

[@littlemau1360]

Yea! Lottery tickets aren't just an item, they're something for the family to do together. Ops family seems supportive and fun, unlike his wife.

[@tylerclark1979]

@@Feynix4 he has this huge bias with wife/children scenarios that he projects from his personal relationship. He does it All the time.

[@happydragon7095]

On the first story, I disagree with Rslash. You need to ask permission from your spouse to buy a big thing (i.e. a boat, a car, a horse), but not some thing like a lotto ticket. Hurt feelings and jealousy? That's the problem of the people who feel that way. They need to realize they're being an asshole, suck that shit up until they can get some privacy, and then work through that shit. It seems like the lotto tickets were an every year sort of present, but the wife was only upset when someone else won the max jackpot. It's suspicious to me that she won't tell OP what she would want that money for anyway.

[@TheWeaponshold]

I mean if money is REALLY tight then maybe you should discuss but as OP said that is far from their case. But when you are barely getting buy and they just decide to eat food at a restaurant that could be an issue. Or I guess a more apt way to put it is a "big" thing can mean different things for different people.

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@TheWeaponshold But we know from OP's explanation that, as far as he is aware, the only debt they have left unpaid, is the house. They're not tight on money at all; their kids have college funds, they have decent jobs or at least a decent income, and their future is secured. So why is she so adamant on stealing the winnings from someone who will desperately need it to get his feet off the ground? Either she's hiding debt from him or she's a greedy bitch.

[@babygirll5534]

I love how mostly everybody is against R/Slash's butthole score in the first story, NTA I agree with y'all

[@rookie_6667]

I wish everyone cold still see the dislikes because this video sucks mainly first stories

[@Kaiju_Queen94]

Regarding the first story: OP deserves 0/5 AHs, it's a family traditional as OP mentioned. I'm sorry but the way the wife acted was out of line and shows what kind of person she really is, the only AH is her.

[@JediLadyMisty]

The second OP needs to do something drastic about her son. He isn’t pranking the housekeeper, never has, he’s terrorizing her! He hid her wallet, that contains her money, possibly her driver’s license or a bus/subway pass, a photo ID (if she doesn’t have a driver’s license), debit and credit card(s), etc. A prank is so that all parties can find amusing. If I was the housekeeper I would quit and make sure that the family is blacklisted

[@jupiter9596]

Yeah, a prank would be him putting a picture of something stupid (like a duck) in her wallet. Or hell, my younger brother hides rubber ducks around our house every few weeks. That's a good prank. But hiding important stuff? That's cruel.

[@angusmacintyre2414]

Also, after being caught, Jeremy admitted to the act, trying to excuse it as just a prank.

[@ReigoVassal]

I always hate people doing crime and hide behind "it just prank."

[@seancarroll9849]

It's all a prank until someone loses an eye. (Or something of particular value.) Jeremy needs to be put in his place. HARD.

[@cook4036]

That last story: First of yes there will be a change just not with the pregnancy but from married to divorce. Secondly if his sister and mother are attacking you block them in my opinion. It's tough seeing people's true colors until something happens.

[@strikeforce1500]

Man, that guy showed a shower of red flags in a nanosecond

[@Shadowgod1000]

The kid changed his story; when his friend told the mother what actually happened, the sun said well it was just one of my pranks. Which means he agreed to being dishonest. He could have kept up and argued that his friend was lying, but he admitted that he lied.

[@SteveLomas]

Story one: How are you giving him a AH score, they have been doing it for YEARS and the wife didn't have a problem.

[@themessiah4071]

She didn’t have a problem until it became a winning ticket, she’s so shallow

[@shadowmewfred09]

Rslash deserves 2/5 buttholes for being totally wrong

[@dracko158]

Family: *Wins $1-$10* OP's Wife: *"i sleep"* Cousin: **Wins $50,000** OP's Wife: *"REAL SH-T"* She's probably salty she didn't win 50k, lol.

[@36inc]

She won the fucking lottery. Id kill to have the things she already has a stable life 2 kids fully funded for college and no job needed? Perspective here alot of people cannot afford to have only one person as a bread winner

[@dracko158]

@@36inc She's just an entitled Karen that can never be satisfied. I am surprised OP still stuck with her.

[@36inc]

@@dracko158 different standards and contexts and so on may reveal why. My standards would have her on the street begging for pennies the next day. But not everyone is as quick to punish the wicked as i am.

[@brittney355]

First story, doesn’t matter what the wife thinks. Everyone just watched OP GIVE him the ticket. Tons of witnesses that the ticket belongs to the nephew.

[@BlueberryBlanket]

The wife in the first story absolutely sounds like a person whose mentality is, "Anything another gets is taking directly from me." NTA, some people are just built selfish.

[@toasterpro71]

you could say... shes built different?

[@SakarianOutcast]

@@toasterpro71 yup, the way horsesh*t is different from dogsh*t

[@sourisvoleur4854]

@@SakarianOutcast 💯

[@An_even_fuller_sun]

For that last story my reaction to his "this is whats expected of you" and rant would have been to just silently get up and leave because there is nothing anyone could say to save that. I would've come back in the morning for my stuff. Just made me mad again. WOW.

[@mieloviridailurus7689]

I got triggered by the same sentence.

[@GhostHunterDipperPines]

Story 2: that’s not a prank, that’s just evil

[@francescaperron2003]

Since when do you get to keep the money OTHER people win from lottery tickets you gave them? That wife is a choosing beggar

[@clubpenguin13531]

Exactly. It doesn't seem like she's ever said anything before, even when the tickets ended up winning a small amount. She knew this was a possibility

[@anarchyvixyn]

Reminds me of the one where the girl covered a work shift for someone and made a sales bonus and the coworker expected the bonus to be given to her because it was her shift originally.

[@NEPAAlchey]

2nd story: we now know why the kid keeps behaving this way despite being punished. Father is a tool.

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@Hugodenbeste Doubtful, the mother's response to Jeremy's accusation indicates she is a good parent. You could assume that she only cared because it was her jewelry, but most people would just call the cops and send them to take care of the theft. She obviously cared more about the wellbeing of everyone in the house because she ran home to deal with it. The behavior that Jeremy displays is likely a mixture of teenage stupidity mixed with a gross behavior he picked up from his father growing up. Given his fathers poor excuses to make his own kid look like the hero and the housekeeper the bad guy, I think we can assume where Jeremy learned this manipulative behavior.

[@black1917]

Housekeeper needs to get out of there NOW. OP and that friend likely won’t be around to stop the next attempt.

[@EclipsePheniox]

Have to disagree with rSlash on the first story about the 0.5 score, as the op did explain that he did buy scratch cards for years. So his wife would have already known and agreed.

[@Cyberdog22]

4:00 I've never disagreed with R/ as hard as I do right here. As SEVERAL people have mentioned, OP has been doing this for YEARS. She's just being greedy now. OP is NTA.

[@cyber_runner]

First story: NTA Why does she all of a sudden NOW care that OP is giving lottery tickets for gifts when someone actually wins something? If she had a problem with it before, she could have said something about it a long time ago. OP deserves no score.

[@garfeld625]

For the Pregnant OP, I am sorry for your situation. Mainly because of the financial hold your husband has over you. By the sound of it, even if you wanted to get out (which maybe you don't), it sounds like you are in a bad place. No matter what though, staying or going. Please look into resources because something needs to change. Rely on your network to see if someone can take you in if you need to leave, or look into therapy sessions for you and your husband if you decide to stay. Because if things don't change, your husband sounds like he will abuse you for the rest of your life. Financially, mentally, and who knows how else. With how easy he was to upset, maybe physically one day (though this could be an exaggeration. It scares me that it could be true though too). Be safe, take care of yourself before things get worse

[@Stormwovles]

I agree with everything said here, except one bit. The husband being easy to upset. Rslash minimized it as hearing one sentence. But the words that were said clearly hit the man deep. "I wish I had known that before I was pregnant with your baby" That's one sentence questions the entire relationship a person he was willing to spend the rest of his life with. Of course he's going to cry. That being said seriously wtf man? "In sickness and in health, through the good and the bad, til death do us part" I disagree with Rslash and put him at 5/5. But I also can sympathize with why he was upset by the last sentence.

[@myroc1]

I will literally never ask anyone in my entire life for permission to gift people a lotto ticket. So I'm holding op to the same standard. Not the butt hole.

[@SwanofWar]

That last story just breaks my heart...this is why it's SO important to try cover all these topics before you get married or have a child with your partner. Course, maybe OP's husband lied to her about how he felt until now, but based on his whole attitude about making her turn the lights off in the first place I think he's just a misogonist that she's put up with for way too long. Poor, poor OP. I really hope she escapes that toxic relationship someday.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

The fact that he has been giving away scratchers for years and years then unless OP's wife has been checked-out all these years and not paying attention....she clearly was okay with it in the past.

[@meganbutton4320]

OMG The ticket winner had me choke up when OP explained why it would help him so much and why OP DID NOT need the money...... NTA NTA NTA! OP's wife on the other hand is a huge AH! OP literally and unexpectedly changed his family members' lives for the better. We all need to be more like OP, as in, happy for others who are benefiting and moving forward in life and being able to help them.

[@communicate121]

Rslash is wrong. First OP has been doing the lotto gift for years. No score needed for op

[@SakarianOutcast]

I think we should give r/slash a 0.5 score, to give him a vibe check.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Second story: It deeply concerns me that the Dad brushed off the fact that his son try to get a woman arrested for a crime she didn’t commit.

[@shelleecraig2909]

I know right. I was like wtf

[@firesong7825]

Well, we don't know if he would have admitted it before it got to that point. Not to say it isn't incredibly messed up what he did, but still.

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@firesong7825 It doesn't matter if he would have admitted to lying about it before it escalated to that point. You wouldn't accuse someone of rape or murder and then as the police are about to get involved go "LOL, it was just a joke, they didn't do anything". Shit like that isn't funny.

[@kathrynesq8814]

RSlash, you are WRONNNGGG! The lottery drawing is a tradition and has been going on for years. Wife only objected when she did not get the money.

[@Nekulturny]

Doesn't matter to me if it was a tradition for years or not. Rslash is still wrong, and OP is not in any way TA. The wife, who doesn't work, by choice wants a cut from a lottery ticket she obviously didn't buy. Shes just greedy and grubby.

[@songbird-wj4yj]

Also what does OP’s wife expect him to do? Ask for the ticket back? “Hey man, congrats on winning, but I’m gonna have to take the ticket back. Good luck paying off your student loans and Merry Christmas.”

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Story 4: Is that a thing with men? An incapability to turn the lights off? I'm asking because my dad does this too. He's always leaving the lights on in the house. If it's not a guy thing, I apologize. But really, is it THAT hard to switch a light off?

[@akl2k7]

Not with me! I don't want a higher electric bill. And that's what I was thinking. What's preventing hubby from going around and turning the lights off himself? (Nothing!)

[@ShadesofGray3]

@@akl2k7 My dad is the same. He will cut off every light that he feels is "unnecessary" You can't tell time when your sleep.

[@amorasilverspark]

First Story: NTA This was something my own family did for awhile too. One of my uncles won $10,000 and not a one said anything negative or asked for money or for the scratcher back. All of us knew that was his money. OP's wife is just a grinch and greedy. Second story: NTA I would not have believed anyone right off. I would of separated everyone and asked for each person's story on the matter. If stories don't line up (like in this situation), then there's obviously an issue and someone's lying. Plus since the son has had a history tormenting the housekeeper, he lost his right to be believed right off. Worse, the husband is TA here since he's letting his son do things that are clearly not okay, and like in this story could ruin someone's life because of it, including his own or his parents. I would of grounded that boy for a full year (no friends, no social media, no electronics, can only watch tv with the family and he does not get to pick what to watch) and made him work a week to do the housekeeper's job while the housekeeper got a vacation for that week. Third story: NTA, cheaters should get no quarter and those that accept to be with a cheater should get the same. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Fourth story: The husband is 100% TA here. Becoming and being pregnant is one of the most taxing things to a woman mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is not just another day / 9 months for that woman. The wife should divorce him if he doesn't want to man up and learn he's 100% in the wrong. I'd normally not advocate for an abortion, but in this case it might be considered since does the wife really want to deal with that man for an extra 18 years if they do divorce?

[@thunderflare59]

"Take that gift back from him!" Only if you're okay with OP taking your engagement ring back.

[@caeruliuscthulhu8661]

With that last story, that guy shouldn’t stop being a husband just because the wife is pregnant. It’s just like how rSlash has put it before, once you’re done with your job, you don’t stop working entirely just because you had to work. You have a family to take care of too; that’s the responsibility of a father and husband. Another aspect is that pregnant women have so many physical and emotional needs. Pregnancy isn’t just getting fatter, it’s needing heavy amounts of nutrients and energy. Not to mention the crap storm of imbalanced hormones that mess up the brain. Pregnancy is incredibly physically and emotionally demanding and that husband needs to step up his ethic if he’s going to maintain a loving relationship.

[@maieen2665]

*OP 1:* $50k _is_ life-changing, and based on OP's description of his cousin, he was well-deserving of that prize. While I understand rSlash's reasoning for giving OP a 0.5/5 score, I disagree. If the wife is upset that someone got a lottery ticket worth more than $10, then tough noogy for her. *OP 2:* If OP believed her son over her housekeeper, then she'd probably be labeled a Karen. I wonder what Jeremy's deal is with the housekeeper? And as rSlash said, OP _did_ believe Jeremy initially. *OP 3:* Between Anne's delusions and the overall double-standard, I think OP should go NC with her family apart from her other sister. Best of luck to Jane. *OP 4:* I feel bad for both OP and her future baby. :/

[@Yumi_Jay]

the second story reminds me of a recent AITA of a father who won't pay the babysitter for his younger daughter breaking the sitter's glasses because he believe his daughter more when there are witnesses that stated the daughter broke them on purpose. He got roasted in the comments.

[@samalvarez8776]

I think in story 3, op should tell the girl to block her sister. The sister is obsessive about it and I'm worried this is going to lead to stalker territory

[@techtrashwolfie2768]

13:15 EXCUSE ME?! if my partner talked to me like that I'd be in jail for assault/murder.

[@dannyzwolf4546]

He's been giving tickets for years. She said nothing until one turned out to be worth 50K. OP should get a 0/5.

[@gtc9966]

What!? Absolutely not. The 1st guy is not remotely in the wrong. Wife is crazy.

[@Shiny_Hunter_Rob]

As someone who regularly buys (and is maybe borderline addicted) to scratch-off lottery tickets, I can't understand this first story. It's not OP who's giving the 50k, therefore, it's not OP's money that's going to the cousin. OP gave his cousin 5 bucks (probably, dunno the prices), which contained 50k. OP's NTA. Also, rSlash, I'm gonna disagree with you. OP said that he's done this plenty times in the past, and there was no problem before. Clearly no one thought that the ticket would be a winner, but there was nothing wrong with it before.

[@sethabbt7786]

It's a yearly tradition she knew about it. He gets zero out of five buttholes. The chocolate would have cost $5 anyhow. She wouldn't have been upset if he didn't win

[@apollion_4750]

Why on earth would you need to ask your WIFE for permission to get someone ELSE a gift with your OWN money?? Thats crazy, op is 100% nta and i have no idea where that idea came from.

[@martlettoo]

The father in the second story is how horrible, criminal, entitled rich kids (and adults) are made. He'll be doing way worse things to people "for fun" in the future if this isn't nipped hard in the bud

[@alexw4482]

My god “Jake” in the second story is pathetic. He expects her to clean up his mess around the house, doesn’t support her during her pregnancy, and runs to his mommy when called out on it? Run, don’t walk. This dude has big red flags saying he probably won’t be a good father, and will expect her to handle everything related to the children at all times.

[@dreadsndogs4406]

Agreed, though it's the last story, not the second😊

[@papabear1333]

The house keeper story: Those are not pranks, he’s just being a 💯 Acehole. 🤦🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️He’s playing with someone’s income.

[@dreadsndogs4406]

Exactly. They're huge red flags in my opinion, the fact that he's actually framing someone for theft...

[@hallieharvey4073]

@@dreadsndogs4406 and that the dad is defending him!? Disgusting

[@hotarubinariko]

I suspect there's a bit more going on in the family than we're seeing. While, yes, there are people born with disorders that make them more liable for certain behaviors, that's fairly rare. This kid is acting out and I would be concerned what's triggering that, especially with his father's response. I would get that boy into therapy Stat.

[@aamateur-artist]

Not just her bag but her life! She could’ve been locked up!!

[@emilyemily9831]

Oof the husband in the last story definitely needs to go. I couldn’t imagine ever going on a 30 minute rant about how someone needs to keep working, much less saying it to my pregnant wife

[@dreadsndogs4406]

Agreed! Also I have a very hard time believing this came out of nowhere, there has to have been hints off his attitude toward her before this... someone doesn't just become an ass over night🤔

[@hotarubinariko]

@@dreadsndogs4406 while I'd hope you're right, he make have decided to hide it until he felt she was trapped. What a scumbag. I really wonder how people go this long without really knowing their partners. It scares me.

[@ajanija1590]

@@dreadsndogs4406 I think that there were red flags before, but OP didn't recognize them. Like checking lights is something "expected" of her every night? Like it was in her job description... Or the fact, that she doesn't work because her job didn't pay enough to "justify" her working? I understand that payment could be low, but job also means experience, relationship with co-workers, stability and self-sufficiency. Isolating women from work, friends and family and "keeping" her at home is one of tactics used by abusers. And it's so gradually that a victim doesn't notice what happens until it's too late.

[@samalvarez8776]

@Aja Nija also notice she didn't say anything about her family or friends.

[@KimmieArgyshev]

In no way is OP in the first story at fault. They have been buying tickets for YEARS as stocking fillers, it was never an issue. After years his cousin gets lucky by winning 50.000 dollars, and all of a sudden it's a HUGE PROBLEM that OP gave his family lotery tickets....

[@sliceofbread3815]

Why does he need to check with her? He doesn’t! It’s his money, he can buy what he want. She can not like it but she can’t say he can’t buy it, especially if he’s been doing it for years and she hasn’t said anything.

[@savandquit7897]

I disagree with that first score. Mathematically speaking, winning the lottery it's millions to one so there's no possible way of even hoping of winning in the first place.

[@husky8204]

Even so, the family has no problem with it. The wife is just a greedy and jealous person. Her and OP are not owed anything, it was a cheap gift that later ended up worth more.

[@skorpiongod]

These are just scratch off tickets, much better odds. Still very unlikely to actually win anything worthwhile

[@thetableofelements4472]

Are you siding with the wife or?

[@savandquit7897]

@@thetableofelements4472 Siding with the husband. He should get 0/5

[@thetableofelements4472]

@@savandquit7897 alright, sorry, I didn't understand at first. Yeah I agree with you.

[@suralos]

Last story: Judging by the way the way MIL and SIL reacted it is little wonder that OP's husband was able to just go off the way he did and surprised by OP pushing back.

[@イグニスの眼鏡]

yeah sounds like he was raised like that and was shocked that not everyone thinks that way. it doesn't help that his mother and sister are re-enforcing that. I dont know how far along op is but divorce and possibly speak to a doctor about her options. she doesn't have to do anything but just to know what is best for her

[@DarcOne13]

Okay, story #3, Annie's a boiled frog. Her husband isn't a partner; he's a manipulator, a cheater, and a bad dad. She is completely under his thumb and probably stalked Jane because that's what husband expected of her. She's not her own person anymore, only an extension of him. She needs out.

[@イグニスの眼鏡]

probably to distract her to cheat more

[@Nerobyrne]

There was actually a court case in Canada about a very funny event similar to the first story. So, Tim Horton's is a huge chain in Canada, and they do this thing where they hide a lottery ticket inside the rim of their coffee cups. Someone threw away their cup, and a girl fished it out of the trash to check the ticket. It was the top prize, which was a car. He tried to sue and the judge told him that once it's thrown away, it's not his anymore.

[@TheDarkness21]

Story 4: The husband deserves nothing from her. And she is 100% correct if she knew how he, her husband was she probably wouldn't even entertain the idea of marriage or having his child. Hope she gets out of that relationship sooner than later. 😮‍💨

[@mendez5525]

I thought the first story was going to be a silly mistake, where a person just carelessly throws money around to spite his partner. But wow! If you just give away lotto tickets, it should be an unwritten rule that you don't expect a share of it. The wife pooping all over the good fortune of someone else reeks of entitlement and a deep resentment and dissatisfaction with her current life.

[@agentmaryland1239]

I thought it was going to be something like "my cousin asked for $500 for rent or something" and OP ends up accidentally signing a check for $50,000 instead

[@rrudeljr]

Story 2 that's not a prank, that's trying to frame her for a crime.

[@jennyb9065]

Which in of itself (depending on the value of the jewlry) is a crime. Especially since he would have needed to take the jewelry in the first place. Cops would have been called...on the son. That was crossing a line that should not have been crossed and the father is a tool. Edit: Corrected spelling.

[@catso9555]

I can't help but disagree on the first story. Unless op's wife has a history of getting jealous about money stuff he would have no reason to ask his wife if he could give a 5 dollar lotto ticket as a gift. That just sounds ridiculous.

[@leviuzumaki3903]

Last story: okay so, that dude either has no empathy at all or a lack of empathy or a very very misguided idea of what pregnancy is. “It’s a mother’s duty to push through.” Yeah and guess what it’s a husbands duty to help and support they’re wife and the person who they love and want to spend the rest of they’re life with, with anything they’re going through, hows he gonna treat you when your stuck in the bathroom vomiting uncontrollably and not able to anything about it. What’s going to happen then. “Honey can you cook for me I’m really hungry, I know I can cook for us both and your stuck in the bathroom but it’s a mother’s duty to push through” see how narcissistic and manipulative that sounds. He’s crazy.

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