r/AmITheA--Hole for Putting a Child in a Washing Machine?

[@rowangoodwin9273]

I love how the forum full of landlords are all greedy saying “you should pay up since they didn’t raise rent” all of them are really reinforcing the stereotype

[@DrTimeSCPPsych]

Its not a stereotype thats just landlord groups

[@mahe4]

what stereotype? that is simply a fact.

[@gappzapp1248]

Love for Landlords

[@Cman04092]

Yeah, thats just an eco chamber. If you posted into a group of only tenants, you'd get the majority to have a different answer. Thank god not all landlord are scum. I'm on my 2nd place over 10 years under the same couple. My first place was a 1 bedroom, and when a 2 bedroom came up a few years ago i decided i wanted more space because I'd gotten 2 promotions since then. They canceled my first lease and i signed a new one, they let me have both apartments for a whole week under the cost of the 1 bedroom, so I could move at an easy pace. They're good people and they are super nice to me. They actually appogized when they increased my rent by 40 bucks a month, I was like "wtf?". Like, guys 40 bucks after no increase in 2 years anit bad, it's just keeping up with cost of living.

[@queenofputrescence5167]

We had a one month lease on our first apartment. After that it went month to month. We lived there two years and never had a rate hike after that first year was up.

[@RumbleDelta]

“She looks like she should have black hair!” …this is racism isn’t it-? “My daughter is Asian” Whoop there it is.

[@deeznuts23yearsago]

He’s brought up his wife and daughter before so I knew the millisecond he laughed and stopped he was gonna bring them up to prove the story is stupid

[@CallMeVanEl]

This was almost my thought process too. Why is there drama over hair, are they black? "she is supposed to only have black hair" literally at the same time rslash read it: oh... they're Asian? racism and hair discrimination runs wild

[@linpittsburgh2375]

Listening to this story, I kept thinking about a blond mixed-Japanese kid I know. His last name is Japanese so sure this school would blow a gasket 😂

[@annafellows9616]

My mom is 100 percent Chinese and she had dark brown hair and my Uncles have black hair it’s interesting how varied our hair actually is

[@Persholm1]

Not only that, they only enforce the rule when the child is of a race that usually has a specific colour of hair. I'm also willing to bet that the teachers dye their hair too, regardless of race.

[@trumediamix1]

That first story had me absolutely fuming. Imagine blaming someone else for neglecting your own child - especially when you're half-assing your responsibility as a landlord.

[@THEDubbleHelixx]

And other landlords backing them up because the tenant is "ungrateful"

[@shadowmewfred09]

Also it was there fault the dryer wasn't fully functional with the lock and stop system, I would move out first chance I get and then send the message of them threating to raise rent to a lawyer

[@Josh_the_jester]

This is why nobody likes landlords, even the good ones who just collect rent and don't try to nickle and dine their tenants, and the worst part about the good ones, every other wise guy landlord who does every shady shit in the book, every landlord has to take the piss because them

[@thetruth1816]

It's like " how dare you not stop me from punching myself in the face and breaking my own nose" ..

[@finndemoncat9379]

I was like "WTH????" When I read the title.

[@IndigoIced]

For the hair dye story, I’ve had a similar experience. My friend from years ago got blonde extensions which technically followed school rules too but because she was black, school was just not having it and a teacher literally said to her, “it doesn’t look natural on you, therefore you need to remove it.” However, there were literally white girls with dyed purple tips and no teacher complained. It’s not even about hair colour anymore it’s just plain racism.

[@wyattarich]

WOW should go to the school board for that shit.

[@MLWJ1993]

I'm floored anyone even cares about what colour someones hair is! Don't they have more pressing issues to resolve 😆

[@chessnitemayr]

Bingo. When I was 15 (16 years ago), my school had a policy of only natural hair dyes. My parents paid for colored extensions (since my father has always been vehemently against my alt personality), and the school tried to say I couldn't have the pink/purple/blue/green streaks over the 6 month period I got them in (I changed them every month to a new color). After the second time of informing the principal, AGAIN, about it not being dyed, my mom literally had me rip one out and show him it wasn't my actual hair, and therefore; no policy broken. It said no DYED unnatural hair in the policy. Not "no color added to the hair of unnatural origins" (which is what they changed it to the following year, though that didn't matter since I stopped getting extentions in my sophomore year and left school in my junior year to get my GED). (Edited for accidental word add)

[@cmlemmus494]

The other common way that schools do this is to restrict "extreme hair styles" in such a way that the hair styles which work best with tightly curled hair are not allowed (eg. afros, cornrows, shaving). So it's a policy that applies to everyone but disproportionally affects people with African ancestry. The thing that always bugs me about this sh*t is that I attended private schools in the '80s and they had less restrictive dress codes than some of the stuff today. Granted, none of my schools were in the US, so it's possible that these rules have always been there, but it certainly feels like some of these schools are making new racist policies because they can no longer get away with the older overt racism.

[@revengenerd1]

My school instead punished boys who dyed or highlighted their hair saying it was innapropiate, they let girls do so unless it was OTT like punk hair but even then didn't punish them for it. Once a gang of bullies sprayed my hair with spray dye and I was sent home for having dyed hair as it was seen as disruptive. Used to see the non white students with hair dye quite often, then again my school was an early polititcally correct place, boys were seen as troublemakers girls were seen as sweet as sugar. (not even joking they often said variations of that)

[@Msis03]

The mom with the daughter who dyed her hair should definitely go to the local news. They hear “school is being racist to young girl” and they’d eat that up. Don’t let this be just through a lawyer, dont let this be done quietly, openly have them shamed like they did your daughter. They’d have no choice but to back track, fumbling excuses, as they accept your daughter’s hair color.

[@WyntheRogue]

I say go nuclear, while I don't frequent socials like Facebook and Twitter, I'd say putting the school on full blast via one of those sites will see some results pretty quickly especially when discrimination is involved. In some cases there's the philosophy "If you can't beat them, shame them." edit-wrong homonym so fixed it.

[@nightroad5810]

if live in 1 party consent state. record it while discussing. or can I get it in writing pls? sane human would question their action after that. BT DAC that come with mic are so cheap nowadays .

[@candacebex4370]

Automatically raising rent on a tenant simply because a year has passed is a good way to lose a tenant. Unquestionably not at fault here.

[@toriibarlow]

I lived in a place that was actually pretty good about not doing that but as soon as a new management company came in they wanted to raise it like crazy. It actually was cheaper to buy a house and pay a mortgage them to continue living in that apartment complex and that was one of the affordable ones. There was a little bit of a upfront cost for the down payment. In the long run we're not paying the excessive amount of rent and the apartment complex also wanted to implement several other fees We didn't have previously and don't have now. Switch renters insurance to home insurance and they pay our property tax and whatever else It aside from that it's just mortgage and utilities.

[@IlGreven]

@@toriibarlow "It actually was cheaper to buy a house and pay a mortgage them to continue living in that apartment complex and that was one of the affordable ones." These days, that seems to be the norm in a lot of places, but a lot of people either don't know that or have less than perfect credit so banks won't approve their mortgage loan...There's a well-traveled tweet that says something to the effect of "The bank thinks I'm not responsible enough for a $900/month home loan, so I'm living in a $1500/month apartment."

[@akl2k7]

@@IlGreven Plus, a lot of houses require like a $10000 down payment. The only time I've had that amount in my bank account was after a settlement due to a knee injury at work.

[@Purrfect_Werecat]

That's..... normal? It's NORMAL to just raise rent on people that stay in a place a long time???! I could see raising rent if like wages go up or inflation reasons, but I never knew it was 'normal' for that to happen.... Does that mean I am supposed to be constantly increasing my own earnings every year or constantly moving to new apartments every few years or something? :< That sounds like a terrible business plan to me.

[@revengenerd1]

@@IlGreven That happens a lot in the UK, especially for people on benefit payments, i.e a good landlord will advertise at say £600 for a apartment but won't take people on benefits (it's technically illegal to discriminate but they can turn people down) because they don't work (or assumed not to) they know if they don't pay they have no comeback to sue as no assets, a more stereotypical reason is they think unemployed people will spend more time in the property therefore more wear and tear so landlord has to pay, then also as someone who doesn't work can stay up all night and that will disturb neighbours. So what happens is people who are on benefits end up in a property that might cost the same but likely far more, with a dodgy landlord and unable to save money to move as most of their income goes on rent, or they can't afford to pay it so get into debt which affects their credit.

[@trickyagent127]

The landlords online talking about how OP should've just been greatful that they didn't raise rent is exactly why people hate landlords

[@Nyax50Lopez]

The poor dude is paying so much for a single room I think... If he's living with the family, he might be in a guest room. So preferably like $300 - $400 is reasonable but if he is overpaying that amount, then I sense something is up 👁️👁️

[@Compliance0]

Exactly this!

[@DBG-fh7io]

Landlords are evil leaches on society

[@deannatreat6819]

Story number 4: OP said they were going to pay off their mom's debts so that when she retires she can do whatever she wants. Chances are, the mom would want OP to keep it anyway. :)

[@tranquility1967]

yes, her using the money to clear her mom's debt and her own school.debt is a perfect use of back child support!!!!

[@fdm2155]

While the child support was owed to the mother because it was the dad paying his part for raising OP, it sort of works out in that OP is planning to share the money with her mother.

[@hungrymusicwolf]

Her mother apparently doesn't even have any debts, she managed to earn enough money not to have any.

[@skylerchan7746]

@@fdm2155 no the child support is for the child, not the parent but op is kind. My mom let my dad off the hook. He was a good man with problems.

[@thatguy3903]

Agreed!

[@chikaknight5610]

Just imagine Rslash's wife hearing "ASIANS CAN HAVE HAIR THAT ISNT BLACK" thundering up from the basement 😂😂

[@thenightmaricsenpai524]

I'm surprised he didn't ask her opinion on that story

[@mydogismoreimportantthanyou]

what makes this funnier is his wife is Chinese lol

[@auberginebear]

Story 3: NTA; I get that not all parents can afford all their kid's supplies, but if parents are still helping others out, then there's nothing wrong with the personalized supplies. Also, I think it's illegal to take ALL the kids' supplies to redistribute, the teachers should only take the extras and nothing else.

[@KumiChan2004]

I think it's so that some kids don't feel bad for having cheaper supplies. And others can understand that we should be treated equally. But you know that's just crap. That's not at all how the real world works.

[@auberginebear]

@@KumiChan2004 kids can still learn that lesson without the added lesson that they cannot have their own things just for them.

[@AzureKyle]

@@auberginebear And there are also some neurodivergant kids who are very particular about their belongings, who could end up losing it if their stuff is taken away and given to someone else.

[@auberginebear]

@@AzureKyle I know, I was one, but since that feeling isn't just found in neurodiverse people, I didn't feel the need to say that. More people need to realize that while us neurodiverse people have traits not found in neurotypical people, there are some things both groups feel equally, just for different reasons. And frankly, sometimes when people do this (regardless if they are neurodivergent or neurotypical), it unnecessarily others neurodivergence in a (possibly) negative way. If the conversation was about WHY kids want their own supplies, then it would matter to bring up neurodiversity, but it doesn't matter to this conversation.

[@AzureKyle]

​@@auberginebear As a neurodivergent person myself, I just figured it should be mentioned, as it could cause major issues both in the classroom, and out. It was the first thing that popped into my head and I felt it needed to be said.

[@meddlinmegs]

The forum of landlords saying OP was “lucky they didn’t raise rent” and should pay to be “morally fair” just reinforces my belief that landlords are awful people. We need more social pressure on landlords to be less shitty.

[@tcunero]

I think it goes both ways and just totally depends on the situation. There are awful people who happen to be landlords, and awful people who happen to be tenets. Heck I would even go as far as to say when it comes down to it the tenet has more protection then the landlord.

[@mikeandnike123]

@@tcunero see the thing is landlords choose to be landlords. Tenants have no choice. Bad tenants are just the cost of doing business in housing. Bad landlords are scum because they choose to be landlords.

[@mrphone5409]

Ever hear of landlords getting screwed? No payments from Tenant, cant rent to new person due to condition, mortgage falls behind and you lose house. Not all are bad. I will always try to be good tenant, a good relationship can go a long way in life.

[@connorg.8994]

both sides have an ungodly amount of power if they are willing to abandon ethics. its a sort of trust system.

[@ifuckedurmom]

@@mrphone5409 they should get a real job then and stop leaching off others.

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: I know that not every school allows dyed hair, but trying to make everyone only have hair color that "fits their race"? What the fridge kind of a policy is that? Who asked for that policy?

[@unauthorizedmonster648]

The racists asked for it to punish the minorities

[@ariel2179]

Racists

[@THEDubbleHelixx]

Their interpretation of the rule literally means only white kids can dye their hair. I'm sure this is lawsuit-worthy.

[@MsBELLE7]

There are plenty of kids who's hair doesn't match their skin.....cuz they are mixed. So really the rule makes zero sense

[@tilleadh4131]

Im a natural ginger and was once told by a dean that: "You're kind are known to be violent so im going to watch you closely". I was then suspended for "bullying" a non existing person kek school sucks.

[@lightning_skullz]

That first story: if the landlord is threatening to sue. I would report this to CPS for child endangerment and to your Local and State Apartment Association for a faulty dryer.

[@iridescentsolace]

😭😭 I would love that actually, even if you don’t actually call them just the threat of involving cps would probably get them to back down

[@sydneystarlight]

God story 3 pissed me off. The same thing would happen when i was a kid in elementary school. First day of class we had all of our supplies essentially forcibly stolen from us mixed up and handed back. I didnt get to keep any of the pencils or binders my mother bought me and it literally made me cry. It didnt matter if the binders were pre signed or not because the teacher just RELABELED THEM. my mother left little notes and xoxo's in all my binders that I cherised and it hurt a lot as a kid seeing them in another kids books

[@alfedosucksatgames5008]

My dad used to make me skip the first three days of school just to my stuff wouldn't be mixed with everyone else's,

[@Helbore]

Surely this is stealing. The school doesn't own that stuff, just because it is brought onto their property. They can't force parents to buy supplies for other kids. They can ask for it - that's asking for charity. You can't demand charity, though.

[@cococraze804]

That never happened to me tho. I’ve been to plenty of schools and not once did they steal our supplies. And if you couldn’t buy your supplies they always had extra notebooks and binders and pencils to take for the whole year

[@romancatholicgameing]

An act of taking supplies from everybody and redistributing them equally that sounds like a good idea but it's stupid and doesn't work in practice? Wonder what that reminds me of... 🤔 Oh right! Communism! It reminds me of communism!

[@utahgetmetwo72]

Is this a common thing? I live in Canada and have never heard of this. What’s the reasoning?

[@stormclaw2014]

In third grade I brought my own color pencils as supplies and was forced to put them up for the whole class. They weren't some premium color pencils or anything, they were just crayola, but they had more colors than the standard box you'd see. I never understood why we couldn't just use our own supplies

[@FaustLegion]

Mia should be able to have her own school supplies, especially if the mom brought in extra to add to the teachers stock pile

[@harshnarware]

Isn't it communist

[@SilverGhxst]

She didn't though if you actually listen to what op says she never states she bought extra to give to others. The extras was an extra for HER child not the others in the class. She never once states she bought the extras and gave them to the other kids because that didn't happen. The extra supplies are still sith OP lmao

[@LoonyHalfBlood]

She should! I'm out of the system but my brother is still elementary age. We figured out not to let him take his nice supplies until after the first days of school. That way the teacher can't give out his personal stuff because the redistribution already happened.

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

Why is this a thing?

[@apollo21lmp]

OP should consult a lawyer AND the news media. the reason the "school" wants to collect and "swap out" the supplies is so that the "popular" kids either won't have to bring their own or so that they can be ensured to have the best supplies in the school.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

I had an Asian girl in my fourth grade class who had blonde hair. I don’t know if it was natural or dyed (never saw her parents), but nobody batted an eye at it and it looked perfectly normal.

[@spongebobsjellyfish]

I’m half Asian and half white. I have black hair naturally but I’ve been blonde for over ten years and everyone thinks it’s my natural color. Even when my black roots are showing. (I live in Japan tho, so they just think I’m foreign) I’ve had jobs where they asked me to go back to blonde, when I had a brief stint of brown hair. 😂

[@pauldwalker]

neighbors of mine, mixed couple had two boys. the boys looked perfectly Chinese except for the shockingly blond hair they inherited from their Australian father. all natural.

[@BeanManolo]

Same for me, back in high school there was a asian girl in my class with blonde hair. No one complained nor cared. OP's daughter school is being massively racist, and OP have a pretty clear case for lawsuit or even criminal charges, specially with the director being stupid enough to state his racism in a e-mail.

[@ThingMaBobJimmy]

Yup! My cousins have an english mother and a Jamaican father. If they let their hair grow out, they have blonde afros

[@TomDarkwulf87]

I have a friend who's both Asian and Albino who has bleach blonde hair and eyebrows. That teacher would probably freak

[@MorbidKat]

Never ever ask a landlord what's fair, even if they're a total stranger 🤣 If the mom in the 2nd story takes her story to the local news the school will back off REAL FAST

[@Spacemarine658]

The only 2 things schools fear: news and lawyers

[@feraldruidsftw01]

sad thing is landlords get a bad rap from shitty people. those people are shitty no matter what. I am a land lord granted short time and have a great tenant. but I worked with them to ensure rent was fair and the house was updated to what would make them happy. in that story I agree the parents are responsible regardless if they were landlords or not. if OP had that room for the day then it should be locked on the other side of the room.

[@carmenlynn5441]

Exactly, even just the threat of going to the news with racism and those dumb shits have to know theyre being racist

[@wapaa26]

How do people set that up? I just think people post their issues to social media and the news just picks up on it because it has popular reviews. I wouldn't really expect the news to pick up every story of school doing something wrong, but if that's not the case, then please, do tell

[@insanegamer1283]

@@feraldruidsftw01 no most landlords are greedy and shady if you aintt thahts great but sadly youre part off a rare breed thats not to say that some renters are shitty people but for the most part the landlords are the scum

[@Zapporah85]

Last story: "He's not a bad dad" *OP proceeds to explain how he is, in fact, a bad dad*

[@z0nra]

On the child support story: I think the grandparents did right by giving that money to OP, especially since it sounds like OP plans to use some of that money to take care of her Momma for supporting her all those years. I literally cannot think of a better outcome tbh lol. A+ Grandparents, and I love that it sounds like they really want to get to know OP too even though she's an adult now. Like, the amount of love in OP's life just went up a lot, and I am so happy for her!!

[@kimberlyparker9977]

So basically the father and brother in the "time of the month" story are being abusive. The father is raising g his son to disregard and disrespect a woman's feelings and opinions as "that time of the month". Then when the son can't maintain healthy relationships as an adult he'll wonder why. No wonder the mother left.

[@Esiaa]

It pisses me to no end when I'm trying to explain something, maybe a bit aggressive, and someone comments 'that time of the month, huh?' Wtf? I can be mad whenever I want.

[@Flarflenugen]

@@Esiaa start doing it to guys. Ask if "they are a little backed up" and "need some alone time to deal with it" whenever they get mad. Not a direct comparison, i know, but what i came up with given guys dont really have anything like a period. Going with the good old toxic stereotype of "all men are horny" was all i got

[@t1bb1es]

I fully agree. Systematically they are gaslighting OP into thinking that their feelings are just because of hormones around the monthly, gaslighting her to believe that no matter what happens, if she reacts it's her fault and she's the one in the wrong. I think rslash was way too lenient with the butthole score. I'd have given at least a 3.5- though I'm leaning towards 4 because this systematic abuse will give her trauma she carries the rest of her life which can really mess a person up

[@franl155]

@@Esiaa - what gets me is that a man can be in a bad mood because he's had a day where everything went wrong, yet a woman who has exactly the same sort of day and is in exactly the same sort of mood will be asked if it's "that time of the month". As the poet said: "You immediately assume / the condition of my womb / is responsible for making me feel bad!"

[@zarzee8925]

I can't believe he only gave the father and brother 2 out of 5 buttholes. They just just stacked awful behavior on top of awful behavior. Poor OP! I hope she gets out of there.

[@StarWarsFan-nr2ct]

Love the reaction when racism is discovered

[@avashnea]

And then he says to contact a racist group to help them out.

[@anapeglar4602]

10/10 Detective work

[@zacharymcvicker5820]

Lmao same. That made my day

[@Griffinattack]

AHAA THERE IT IS. RACISM DETECTED XD

[@CP-ho2wj]

I was just as excited as rslash.

[@brandi5126]

S3: NTA. School supplies add up. Your child should have their name on their supplies anyway. You were also generous to buy extra supplies. Teacher should consider opening up a donation list to help her cover class needs.

[@sophietremblay3795]

Me too never in my entire school life I ever had that problem I had my own suplies and even at adult school it’s still the case

[@ResidentMilf]

I always buy extra supplies because I've been the kid who was lacking. If they said I needed to give them the stuff I bought just for my kid, I'd lose it.

[@Josh_the_jester]

So OP bought special supplies to their daughter on top of extra supplies for the school and your school wants her stuff as well, wow, some school like to have their cake and eat it too, my guess is they were planning on sell the more valuable stuff and bring in more generic supplies like basic no. 2 pencils, glue sticks, cheap notebooks etc.

[@zilesis1]

i wonder if there are some helicopter Karen parents in that class (or if the teacher's kid is in the class or something). i'd wager the personalised etsy supplies were much nicer than everything else, so my guess would be that someone in that class was used to getting good supplies in excange for their crappy ones by exploiting the system (again, could be the teacher, or some other parents that maybe gave the teacher a hard time) got mad that they couldn't get the best stuff by expoiting the redistribution system

[@linpittsburgh2375]

I heavily personalized my binders in school and I would have lost my mind if someone tried to take that away. What the heck, man??

[@jennieb9000]

Story 4: The only butthole in this story is the father, but the grandparents should have given the money to the mom over the daughter. Since child support is normally paid to the parent not the child. Yet since OP said she’s going to use the money to pay off her mothers debts and set her up for her retirement, I think the balance will be restored.

[@user-uz8rn5bd6p]

Right I honestly don't get why he brought that point up when OP said she was going to use the money on her mom

[@KumiChan2004]

Karma always comes back at you. Let's just say I'm using up my life time of built up karma all at once. Just to going piss on an asshole's grave later on in my life.

[@dokuujin1851]

@@user-uz8rn5bd6p Dabney covers a lot of stories, and there's a lot of behind the scenes editing/re recording/ect. He, frankly, probably forgot entirely that OP said she is going to give the money to her mother. So yeah; 100% a moot point because the mom is getting it either way, but Dabney mentioning it makes sense if he forgot that was said. or if he's just pondering the grand parent's morals rather than the actual money.

[@revengenerd1]

Not sure about now, but in the UK child benefit went to the mother this was regardless of who cared to the child so single fathers often didn't get it but also part of the terms is its meant to be spent on the child as thats what it's for.

[@matthewfranks2198]

I hope the Grandmother kept calling the Dad her Stupid Son all night

[@TwilightsSecrets]

As someone who was so excited to pick out Lisa Frank supplies for the new school year it would have infuriated and devastated me if my teacher just gave it away. Who does that? If you want kids to not have different supplies specify that, don't rob a kid of their stuff.

[@alyssariceYT]

The dad and brother in the last story deserve a higher score honestly. Those kinds of "jokes" (read: bullying) is so hurtful and frustrating because anything you try to do to stop them just fuels their fire. 2/5 is not a high enough score for that

[@Ikajo]

It is basically a form of sexism, one that the dad is teaching his son.

[@Stefisgarden]

Those "jokes" are only meant to demean women and shame us for having basic human emotions. They're textbook misogynists and they deserve to be called out.

[@Snowshowslow]

Agreed! They devalue her every opinion and emotion in a misogynistic way. This might cross over into abuse.

[@kagura1133]

@@Snowshowslow oh its a form of emotional abuse. They're attempting to gaslight her with "what you're saying/how you're reacting is unnecessary and a side effect of your lesser biology" and it's shit my dad and brother told me a lot too. Turns out they'd say it every time I got mad at some other abusive thing they did (here it was break OPs belongings and refuse to take any accountability for it). So yeah. Definitely emotional abuse via gaslighting and being misogynistic. It's absolutely gross and I personally think they both deserve a 4 at least

[@MetaDragoon]

abusive. they're emotionally gaslighting her by mocking/doubting the validity of her feelings. they're conditioning abuse as the norm. They're intensifying their bullying when OP's peers are upset at their behavior. Easy 4/5 imo.

[@NEPAAlchey]

Last story: she should call and apologize to her aunt and grandma for making a scene. When they say it's OK she should act confused and say my dad told me it was disrespectful and I embarrassed them. Let them get the heat again. They clearly didn't learn their lesson.

[@wapaa26]

Reading the first half of this comment I was confused. But of course I had to read on because I thought "How is this going to end?" Perfectly. It will end Perfectly. You conniving rascal you😈

[@kristelgo2682]

This comment is so under rated holy shit

[@kit-catt2634]

Repost this to the reddit post, this is some good advice

[@Enki1013]

Malicious compliance sounds good.

[@Shocker2416]

Like yeah, the father and brother are just using the excuse to be a jerk to their own daughter/sister. I think it is a form of emotional abuse. They clearly don’t care how she feels, I think op needs to get out of the house and stay with a kind family member, maybe the aunt. She does show that she cares about op.

[@byereality7492]

The "racism detected" moment was perfect. I will be using that in my office that does deal with those people

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

the school was racist like.. dare I say.. donald j trump uhg! I'd certainly sue >:(

[@TheVillageIdiot829]

Trichologist here. Hair color is determined by melanin content in the cortex. And the melanin type is determined by genetics and environment

[@Josh_the_jester]

I'd like to think I had it worse my school wasn't racist, but even more idiotic, I have what you might call a hereditary hairline, as in I was balding at the age of 14, and my school had a PTO with my parents and they were irate to hear them say "your son is artificially balding his head and it's against dress code" my parents ripped into them about how it's actually natural and how dare they claim my hair isn't natural, so my parents had MC with they're required and told them to get me a haircut to "fix your mistake" I got a buzz cut and looking back, their horrified expressions were to be framed on my wall

[@sophietremblay3795]

Yup it was hilarious honestly I am so fed up with racism but nope of course people are still racist butt holes

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

@@TheVillageIdiot829 Dermatologist here. Hair color depends on if you're bald or not.

[@vryistal1758]

4th story: The grandparents owe literally no one. They can give the money to whoever they want. And they wanted to give it to their grandchild.

[@ashleeterrell4580]

i got upset at my kids school for this too we let our kids pick out what they wanted and then the teachers take it dump it all on one table and then divide it out to the kids so your kid will end up not getting the supplies they picked out, i honestly dont know when this practice started i fully remember going to school as a kid and unloading my school supplies into my desk

[@Hybrid301]

Of course a group of landlords are going to take the side of your landlord OP. Should have tried r/legaladvice.

[@1985toyotacamry]

Bingo.

[@SailorMya]

I was thinking that too! Other landlords don't care about you and will put themselves in the your landlords shoes before ever even thinking about your side of events...

[@asmith8692]

That's what I was thinking too.

[@goldencyclone4984]

Noooo. Stay the fuck away from that cesspit, it's nothing but armchair lawyers and current/ex-cops. They've actively banned real lawyers giving good advice that goes against their bullshit and those who have called out their membership and the above bannings. Do not go anywhere near that sub.

[@kibaakaamaaru]

As a landlord myself, this makes me furious. Why the fuck should OP be grateful for his/her landlord's lack of action? A contract is a contract, and id the landlord doesnt follow it, its not OPs fault. Anyways, I doubt that whatever amount the rent should have been raised it sums to $8.000. Fucking hate scamy landlords

[@metademetra]

The landlord has some balls trying to say that OP should pay for his kid's medical bills when this wouldn't have happened if the landlord *just fixed the machines.*

[@dustyrose192]

i'd tell them to take me court, i would pay to see a judge laugh them out of the court room

[@Enki1013]

Fix the machine and watch their own kid.

[@katalinapedroza3396]

That school supply story is exactly why my mother never gave me nice things to take on the first day. The few nice things I did get were snuck in slowly and stayed in my backpack. Especially once I hit middle school. We were living in government apartments; if I got something nice from my wealthy father’s stingy child support “payment” every year or so, then she wanted to make sure I kept it.

[@KinCryos]

a funny thing about the second story is that the same thing happens in Asian countries too. if a kid has non-dark hair because one parent was a foreigner, it will likely be assumed that their hair was dyed, sometimes even when the teacher is talking face-to-face with that parent

[@haze969]

I saw even a student who was a foreigner, and they KNEW it was her natural hair color, but tried to convince her to dye it darker as to not stand out. They eventually dropped it

[@lostsleepyfox]

I resonated so much with the last story. When I was a teenager (some 13-14 years ago), whenever I was upset for a legitimate reason, my dad would chalk it up to "pRe-MeNStRuAl TeNtIoN" and I cannot tell you how much that infuriated me because 1: I had undiagnosed PCOS at the time which meant that I didn't get "that time of the month", and when I did, it was irregular at best and 2. I had a traumatic childhood event that hugely impacted my mental health, which again, went undiagnosed until I went to university. It's straight up misogyny and I make damn well sure my dad knows how abhorrent his treatment of me was during that time, because he says the same thing about my nieces. Nope, time to nip that in the bud, f*ck off with your boomer misogyny, it has no place here. In regards to the story, OP had a legitimate reason to be upset, hell I'd be miffed if someone broke an expensive piece of equipment. They just didn't like it because it was so public, maybe next time they'll think about how they treat you. It's a sucky situation, but actions speak far louder than words.

[@zrc1514]

"That time of the month" also happens to be the closest women are to men hormonally. So, I'd suggest responding with "You mean when my estrogen and progesterone drop to average male levels and I lose my womanly patience to put up with your bullshit? Yes. It is. So fuck off". You can also play dumb and make them explain themselves which also usually works.

[@fdm2155]

Not sure why the teacher insisted on trying to take Mia's personal supplies. I've always bought my kid their preferred supplies AND donated a bunch of things to help stock the classroom supply closet. I never expected my kid would have to give up their personal items on top of the donated items. That's crazy.

[@black1917]

It's a power play, it's saying "I an take anything away from you at any time".

[@agentmaryland1239]

I never really had to share my supplies, even in Kindergarten. Everyone always had their own or the school provided what you needed.

[@Raaslen]

Story 2: NTA, my uncle is a lawyer, I asked him what he could do with these e-mails, and he said he would take the case without even blinking because it would be a easy win with little to no effort

[@SpartanPrimeDSTY117]

Oh fuck yeah, because OP has that in writing. Those emails speak for themselves.

[@SailorMya]

Yea, it would probably be settled and never actually see the inside of a courtroom that is how much of a slam dunk this is.

[@Mistfall254]

Oooof

[@black1917]

@@SailorMya Given the superintendent is willfully ignoring it and OP's attempts to contact them, it might just get to court because they're that stupid and arrogant.

[@kingmozah4324]

As for story 3, some teachers create a pool of supplies to distribute to children. Younger grades like 2nd and 3rd typically vo through a 24 pack of pencils in 3 weeks, or tear up a spiral in a few days. While I see why the teacher did the thing, it was obvious that the parent was prepared for this with extra supplies, so the way the teacher reacted to the personalized stuff is deserving of an AH rating.

[@blubbness]

Whats the point of the switching it around tho? If the child runs out of stuff, they have their own backups if their families got everything from the list. Or the school collects a certain amount of money and the teacher buys everything for the class if they want everyone to have the same stuff so they can switch it out over and over.

[@Haru-the-baker]

My mom is a teacher and the supplies switch thing is not normal. It’s true teachers aren’t given a budget by everything their students need and shouldn’t have to buy it out of pocket however no teacher I have ever met would make children switch there stuff with other students. Also the Yankee swap thing is usually for Christmas If I remember correctly

[@blubbness]

@@Haru-the-baker i didn´t mean the teacher should pay out of pocket, but tell everyone to bring money for the needed supplies instead of letting the families buy it themselves, and then the teacher uses that money to bulk buy the things the class needs. that way everyone has the same things. my sisters school did that for a while

[@Catnipatrick]

I dont think that a non consensual swap is a good way to teach kids to share. I mean if there is one part to be swapped (per information prior for everyone to be okay with it) but to never have anyone be able to keep their things and being able to express themselves that way is kinda wrong IMO. So I see the non aggressive or unpopular kids ending up with the least nice stuff …

[@kingmozah4324]

@@Haru-the-baker really? It's super common in younger grades where I'm from. It's also common for teachers to be expected to buy supplies out of pocket, despite being given only 150 dollars for a budget. My mom is a teacher and I volunteer at her school a lot- teachers are practically required to pick up extra stuff.

[@mattw8332]

Funny how the Superintendent at the school never called the mother back. It was as if she knew the rules on pupils' hair colour might be treading a fine line legally. Hmmm. 🤔

[@Cman04092]

I heard another story about teachers requiring extra supplies, and the teacher was actually selling the extras. Screw all that, you aren't required to buy extra stuff for other people. Buy what your daughter needs and tell the teacher to pound sand. Theft, even for a "good cause", is theft.

[@jaggies92]

On the second story, I know this feeling. There's a rule in our college that forbids dying one's hair. The dumb thing is, anyone that had natural brown hair was also in the cross hairs of student affairs. One classmate of mine with bright brown hair was forced to dye it black as a result. My sister was also sent to student affairs because she has natural brown hair. But my sister fought for it insisting they check her roots. They let her off the hook. The kicker? We live in South East Asia.

[@Snowshowslow]

A friend of mine went to high school in Japan for a year (when she was 16) and they did actual checks of students' eyebrows to see whether they had been plucked. Policing kids' (or more accurately girls') bodies to a ridiculous degree.

[@Dekubud]

I watch a Japanese youtuber and I remember him talking about that issue over there as well and that schools tend to be very racist towards mixed raced kids and force them to dye their hair black.

[@bland9876]

My friend almost got kicked out of his college for having a beard. One of his roommates got kicked out for being caught passionately hugging. They weren't even on school grounds. His GF lives off campus. Her (the GF's) roommate was going to the college and told someone he was hugging outside of wedlock.

[@Movs.]

How is that the kicker? That's exactly what I expected while reading it.

[@black1917]

I was fixin' to say, no way in HELL that would survive here in the states especially given how entitled alot of college kids are these days.

[@cobaltretrotech]

That school supply story is really weird. That was NOT a thing when I was going to school, and I have no idea why that would be enforced in any way

[@lexischannel544]

I'm outside Chicago and the schools here do the same thing for certain items in grade school. Crayons, pencils, erasers, etc all go in a communal spot. Folders and whatnot are the kids personal stuff.

[@juliet7114]

When and what state did you go to school? Was it a private school?(really curious) because when my kids went to elementary school (over 20 years ago) the school requested extra supplies too (and still do. I have nieces and nephews in elementary school) Mainly Kleenex, crayons, pencils etc. Yes it's to make sure all kids have what they need for school through out the school year ( if they break or lose a crayon or pencil) so they can do their school work and teachers don't have to buy as many supplies for their classroom on their limited income and parents don't have to buy replacements so often.

[@cobaltretrotech]

@@juliet7114 I went to two separate school districts in Washington state area and graduated in 2019. I would have expected the sharing thing happened in the first school district I went to considering the school I went to was intended for a lower income community, but that never happened for me

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

@@lexischannel544 Distrubuting school supplies as communal property is stupid

[@lexischannel544]

@@Dr.RatioSnail completely agree with you.

[@supersweet8772]

"racism detected" is easily the best thing Ive heard all day

[@roxyhoyt3675]

I just imagined that while he said that an alarm went off lol.

[@shdzvx]

3rd Story- When I was in elementary school, they also did that. I'm sure there's not a policy for it since some teachers would do that while others wouldn't. There's some teachers who would take kids supplies over time, put them in the public bins of pencils and such and wouldn't let the kid take their supplies back. I'd always get the mechanical pencils and regular coloring pencils and pens. They'd always end up in the public bins. I'd have everything that was on the list while other kids wouldn't so then I'd be forced to share my pencils and such without ever receiving them back. I remember I'd get upset a lot 'cause I'd lose all of my mechanical pencils. I would try to take them home with me but I'd get yelled at by the teach if I tried. Most of my teachers would yell at me for trying to take back my scissors, paper, pens, sharpeners etc. I stopped sharing at some point and that's when the school complained to my mom about how I wouldn't share with the other kids and how I refused to put MY THINGS back in the public bin

[@pc4189]

wow last story..this same thing was happening to a cousin of mine with her 2 older brothers. After a few months of this abuse she came up with the solution. Every time they said it she would nut punch them, and when they complained to her parents she just said "Its that time of the month I guess and I get extra cranky, just cant help it" After about a week of her solution they stopped. I guess they wanted to have kids someday. lol.

[@Helbore]

Why are they complaining about a nut punch? Must be guy problems!

[@lamppuu1]

Have you seen the period pain simulator videos where the guys get to experience the cramp pain? Yeah the women take the pain easily while the guys whine and cry.

[@Nekulturny]

Landlord forums of course are full of trash landlords who are gonna stick up for other trash landlords. You owe them nothing for their negligence.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Wtf? The teacher collects all supplies and they get redistributed?! And parents are "conflicted" about this? Wth? Is this common in america or wherever this is? That sounds CRAZY, that'd be illegal where I live.

[@TheHitsubasa]

It wasn’t a thing when I was attending school 🙃

[@sarahcb3142]

As a teacher, I certainly have never heard of it. Buying extra supplies so your child has then throughout the year when they eventually run out and you don't have to nag parents to take another shopping trip, sure, but never taking their own supplies away!

[@adamb89]

That can happen in public schools in regions of large economic diversity. You'll have some kids showing up with Salvation Army clothes and half a box of mismatched used crayons scavenged from wherever, and another kid in designer clothes and one of those big 64 color Crayola boxes. So teachers sometimes pool resources and distribute randomly so everyone had at least something good. From the teacher's point of view, one kid showing up with personalized everything could lead to resentment and jealousy among the other students. Like "Why does she get to keep all her stuff but we don't?" There's no real good answers. You can't blame kids for being poor and resenting the rich kids who have good stuff, you can't blame the rich kids who resent having their good stuff redistributed.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

@@adamb89 I'm not blaming kids for being poor or rich, but why the hell doesn't your school get money from the government to pay for all necessary expenses that poor kids can't afford?! So basically, thats just another example where the american government fails to support their people and as usual, the poor are left to beg for help, fend for themselves or die.

[@Estarile]

@@Scarlett.Granger no actually they don't. Or at least no enough.

[@frosted_glaceon5513]

Yup. Most of the school supplies my mom bought me ended up in a large bin that we were all forced to share. Not binders though, mostly crayons, markers, and colored pencils. I understand it's so that teachers don't have to buy these things themselves and it allows other kids who might not be able to afford things to have fun too. But to want to take away a kids personalized stuff while she still bought extra? No.

[@whatisthisalgorithm]

In my old school district, it everything. Writing utensils, notebooks, folders, everything. It continues until middle school, but even then it still restricted on what they can do. My brother got a zipper binder for notes, but he's not allowed to use it because only composition books are permitted. He has ADHD and can barely keep up with all of them.

[@ChinaKTeacher]

I’m a kindergarten teacher, and that’s what we do too. Personalized things/binders/folders/etc-you keep your own. We just share basic things (crayons, pencils, dry erase markers, erasers, etc.)

[@MissAlyification]

That's so stupid. I was able to bring my own pencil box with my own supplies in my desk when I was a kid. Simple crayons, markers, and notebooks/binders are NOT expensive. For a class of 16 kids, the most your spending is a total of $70, maybe 100. That's like $5-7 per kid. holy shite

[@ChinaKTeacher]

@@MissAlyification I teach kindergarten at a title one school. Not all of my students’ families can afford this. I’ve had kids that brought in boxes of 48-144 pencils, several packs of 24-36 glue sticks, multiple boxes of crayons. I’ve also had kids that can only afford to bring in a pack of six pencils, 1 crayon box, and 2-4 glue sticks. In kindergarten that absolutely would not last the entire year. What would you have me do when the second kid runs out of supplies in October while the first kid has enough to last them for months? Additionally, most public school classrooms don’t have only 16 kids. Average size for lower elementary is at least 20-25, with upper elementary averaging at least 25-30. Are teachers supposed to live off their paychecks and supply all materials for students?!?

[@Algorithmicgeneratedwordsalad]

As somebody who was really poor in school the teacher forcing kids to give up their school supplies and share amongst the poor kids is actually going to be alienating for those children in the long run and is humiliating for the kids whose parents bought them nice things

[@PleasantDevil]

I'm ADHD and suspected Autistic. I have a sensory issue where if I'm not using certain stationary/items I feel psychically ill and can get upset. It's not so bad as an adult but as a child this interrupted my schooling. So stand your ground!

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: .... Gee, I wonder why OP's mom is not in the picture? OP's father is showing signs of favoritism for her brother and blatantly disregards her feelings. Hell, he didn't even punish his crotch goblin for breaking her iPad! They both deserved getting publicly chewed out by her aunt, but the fact that her father refuses to see what he did wrong only tells me home life is only going to get steadily worse from there. It wouldn't hurt to ask the more sympathetic side of the family to ask if she could spend a few nights or move in until OP goes to college.

[@evadedenbach1226]

She needs to be out of that misogynistic, sexist environment. The fact that they are bullying her because she's a girl had me fuming. The emotional abuse was the icing on the cake.

[@your_local_questerian]

are karma houdinis common on reddit? because at this point, i'm detecting one

[@pv7875]

@@your_local_questerian what's that?

[@Scarlett.Granger]

The last story makes my blood boil. Being embarrassed is the least they deserve. You should definitely tell your aunt, your grandma and all your female family members all about their comments. It's really not okay, no matter what the comments are, to gang up on you like this and they're disgusting.

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

she should act like them and say things at every ocasion like "seems on your period again bro", "coping with tiny p33nus again dad?" "you're throwing a fit because you are infertile" "testosterone levels dropped again it seems" "you had pollution this night again haven't you"

[@sophietremblay3795]

I agree the stereotype of the time of the month seriously that’s normal for us women to be in a bad mood during periods because it hurt and some women can be irritated because of the pain I am among them

[@sophietremblay3795]

@@spicydiarrhea5662 popopoooooooohhhhh

[@SailorMya]

EVERYTIME! She get upset they blame it on her period!!! SMH they found a way to belittle her feelings while also lo-key gaslighting her that it is a "female problem" solely and not the things they do to her! They dissevered that verbal lashing! I'm glad OP has some really good female role models to stand up for her! "Shouldn't have done this at dinner!" umm... You don't hear her any of the multiple times she has brought it up in the past! Your just mad that someone who can do something about it found out!

[@bryn1063]

@@spicydiarrhea5662 these are perfect op should totally use this

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, NTA: How do u lose ur kid and allow ur kid to get away from u to climb into a dryer?! This isn’t OP’s fault this is their fault. Why should OP have to pay them because they messed up? Also, that landlord is a horrible landlord. I’m assuimg that they were aware that the dryer was broken and they never got it fixed or replaced?! Second Story, NTA: This is clear and cut racism. The moment OP mentioned that her child is Asian then I knew racism played a part in this. Hopefully OP sues this school because it isn’t fair that OP’s child have to wear a natural color hair color. Not all Asian people have black hair color Third Story, NTA: What school does this weird shit? Why does OP’s child have to trade her stuff for other stuff? I’ve never done this Fourth Story, NTA: OP did nothing but be apart of the very chances of OP meeting her grandparents on her dad’s side. Also, in a way he is legally obligated to pay for it but it was the grandparents was the ones who did it Fifth Story, NTA: OP’s dad and brother are just childish and need to grow up. These two clearly don’t know anything about periods. Dad is obviously not a good father by how he treats his daughter and clearly is playing favorites

[@mostar1219]

If there's anything that will get the attention of the superintendent it'll be the threat of a lawsuit

[@Mak_Vintage]

Story 4: ideally the mom should get the money. It's really sweet that OP wants to use a portion to clear her mom's debts. In the end, she's NTA

[@Mokuteke]

Why do you think that. Child support is just that child support. All the money someone gets for child support should be used to buy things for the child. Never to be repaid to the parent at all. So giving the mom the money would be weird

[@Ayaforshort]

@@Mokuteke but the mom was literally paying the father's half of support. She had to do it all on her own. It was supposed to be 50/50. The mom is owed the money for that reason. She basically overplayed to make up for her deadbeat dad.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 2: R/ the reason they're not punishing her is because they know if they did OP can sue for racial discrimination. And if it goes public more kids can talk about their experience with this policy. Meaning they're fully aware of how racist this is, but they're trying to be smart about it. OP should go to the superintendent and threaten to make this public if they don't back off. Especially since they've been emailing her about this.

[@linda-0587]

Exactly

[@ManlyStump]

Well if they're trying to be smart about it, doing it over email probably wasn't the way to go!

[@d.phantomfan1216]

@@ManlyStump hey I didn't say they were smart just trying. Because only an idiot will go up to a parent and tell them their their child's hair isn't natural because of their race.

[@TomDarkwulf87]

@@ManlyStump "trying" is the important word

[@black1917]

@@ManlyStump The principle has clearly gotten used to parents and/or students giving in and/or backing down.

[@cannolicorgi8913]

I really liked hearing you talk about the hair colors. In Japan it's a big problem. Many schools do not allow any hair color other than black, and you can't even become a shine maiden unless your hair is undyed pure black. There was a well-known lawsuit of a young, fully Japanese girl who had to constantly dye her heir black to meet her school's standards, which damaged her hair and scalp very bad. I hate this type of thing in Japan, but the culture is very old and I don't expect it to change very quickly. However, if this is in America, I am severely disappointed. Besides, if they were going to be strict on hair color, do it for the white students with bleach blonde hair. It doesn't look like natural blonde in the slightest, even if it "matches your race". But they won't, because it's stupid to dress code natural hair colors like that.

[@Starfloofle]

Japan has always had a *very* toxic relationship with perfectionism... Their general culture of "respect" tends to have the backfire effect of people with even an ounce of authority thinking they can never, ever be wrong. (even moreso than you see over here, which is just nuts) I think somewhere along the line (who knows when...) the idea that respect is to be *earned* not simply *given* must have gotten lost to the wayside...

[@cchastant8251]

I recommend the YT channel, "Ask Shogo." He gives a Japanese perspective on his culture, having lived outside of it and returned to it, so he can both spot things Westerners would be gobsmacked by to see/experience. (thank you England, for a perfect, non-cuss word to use here. At least it's not a cuss word HERE...!) There ARE actual good reasons behind the Japanese culture of everyone needing to be alike/work as a team/not stand out. The main one being an island nation prone to frequent tsunamis, where the people as a whole will not survive if everyone is only out to save themselves, but most will survive if they all work together. For the NATION, their laws/rules/social edicate has been needful. However... for the girl you mention, I wonder if she ever tried black henna. I never would, I do not have the skin tone for it, and it would make me look ill by draining color from my face w/o lots of makeup I don't usually wear. Henna is less harsh in general, and when I've used it, much more pleasant to have used, as I hate the chemical smells of salons, and prefer the "wet hay" smell of henna applications. Far less intense, although it does linger. I didn't mind the smell at all.

[@MollyMoxer]

Poor kid! I've had chemical damage due to hair dye and that *hurts.* Your skin feels tender *and* your hair is a brittle, dull mess.

[@cannolicorgi8913]

@@cchastant8251 Shogo is very well spoken! He explains everything very well for those new and old to the culture. He also speaks for improvements he wishes to be made in the culture, like my hair discrimination story, and things such as better chikan prevention & punishment. I appreciate him a lot.

[@cchastant8251]

@@cannolicorgi8913 Shogo is wonderful! He first came up under Shorts while I was on my phone watching videos. Love it when another one of his hits my feed.

[@TheVillageIdiot829]

The daughter in the child support story said she was going to pay off her mother's debts so in a way, they're both benefitting from it. She also said shes getting her own trust fund so if you REALLY want to argue, the first payment could go to her mother.

[@skylerchan7746]

If you really want to argue, child support is for the child, not the parent. It's for food clothes etc so majority if it should go to op. Ever had your parents divorce and ask if she's spending 1000s a month on you 🥴

[@TheVillageIdiot829]

@@skylerchan7746 my parents ARE divorced. Child support is paid to the parent. Even back child support. I know all about back child support because my dad was paying back child support to my mother for 6 years after getting custody of me. By law, the money goes to the parent, not the child. Educate yourself before you speak.

[@shutcapybara1142]

The child support put should go to the parent but the post secondary education that came with it should go to OP (assuming the mother didn’t pay for it)

[@andredunbar3773]

There were two more edits/updates: edit/update two revealed that OP 's mom has no debt because she, to quote the update, "literally wrote the book about the treatment for kids she works with* she does okay for herself." So, instead they're going to put the money towards a scholarship that wants to go into the same field of study OP's mom was in. OP also plans to give her mom and her mom's "special friend" a trip after OP's wedding. And the third edit/update revealed that OP'S half brother made a post about his point of view on the situation. *- The first edit/update revealed that OP's mom "was working on getting her PhD so she could help kids with a certain condition. That is what [OP's sperm donor] wanted her to walk away from."

[@wapaa26]

@@andredunbar3773 Oh wow, and the father said "f that, stay at home and be a good privileged little wife" I doubt he wanted his ex to stay at home JUST to take care of their child, I'm betting he wanted her home to take care of him mainly.

[@CandaceDreamer]

I’m a teacher and I put almost all the kids’ glue sticks, pencils, extra erasers, and dry erase markers into one bin for each item, but otherwise the students had their own folders, notebooks, markers, scissors, and crayons. I didn’t take those away

[@C.G.Gaster]

dont get me wrong, i understand teachers not having enough supplies and asking parents to pick some up, but even when we did do that, my teachers throughout elementary let us keep our own set that we brought with us.

[@acertainpointofview4744]

On dyeing hair. The mom has a huge choice left, especially with the email. The news media LOVES stories like this. I guarantee that the superintendent will respond VERY quickly.

[@ohnosmoarlulcatz]

The school supply thing is meant to teach kids about sharing. At least, this is the case for K to 3 (5 to 8 yrs old). Otherwise, students are expected to bring their own stuff for themselves. The fact that the teacher got upset about personal school supplies and essentially insisting that more be added to the pool makes me feel like she's attempting to resell them for her own profit.

[@breezy3392]

Sounds like a way to make kids resent going to school if they lose their stuff

[@RobDaCajun]

It’s definitely a form of “redistribution “.

[@MsBELLE7]

Teacher needs a side hustle clearly lol

[@ohnosmoarlulcatz]

@@MsBELLE7 The best side hustle is definitely selling snacks and drinks on the down low.

[@braidygal]

I get doing this with crayons/pencils/glue sticks, but binders and folders? That’s insane!

[@waflewarrior23]

S4: even the "mom should get the money" argument doesn't work because OP said they were going to use the money to pay their mom's debt and basically pamper her

[@shutcapybara1142]

Yes but I think what he was to say is were should the money haven gone to begin with as OP was doing it to be nice and give back but if OP didn’t do that who should have gotten the money

[@lifewuzonceezr]

exactly it seems he's missing that point.

[@Beth_The_Bored]

Did anyone else notice that the dad said something along the lines of “my kids will suffer because of *you* !” in that one story? Holy guilt trip/ gaslighting, Batman! She’s his kid, too! But he basically turned his back on her!

[@whatteamwildcats4033]

The way the school story would have had me calling a lawyer, getting things in writing, and bringing actual names and examples go the school board. Edit: op provided extra materials for the less fortunate children in class, it doesn't matter if Mia has personalized items and nobody has a right to anybodies property regardless. Really I'd only go talk to the teacher to reclaim the items I already gave, and get her name to report for harassment

[@amberparks-newlove6378]

Don't ever go to a landlord group for questions about your landlord. They'll always side with the landlord even if they are clearly in the wrong.

[@DreadEnder]

The other landlords replying that op should be thankful that their rent didn’t get raised is really funny because they were basically saying that they were sh**y landlords

[@willadafanderson6714]

Yeah it's such BS too, when I rented units in a my building I would have loved to find somone who payed up, even mostly on time, & didn't cause problems. They don't want to let on, that that passive income is way more valuable than like a 10% increase. In most places annual rent raises r capped, so its not like they where nice & didn't double his rent so he should pay for thier negligence, no way. It costs thousands to evict a tenant, who already probably had not paid for months, even if u file , w/ o a lawyer. On top of that, there is no point in sueing for missed payments or damages since a tenant like that is likely judgment proof. Meaning it doesn't matter if u win your lawsuit, there is no way to collect since they likely have no assets. Best bet is to evict as fast as u can, cut ur losses & try & re-rent. A reliable tenant is way more valuable in the long run. Also wtf, why don't they have insurance for thier child? I understand adults, but if u can't afford a policy for a child it will b subsidized, we know they own property, pull out some equity & get ur kid insurance. I think they r lieing about that. ..It's not enough to remove a child from the home but social services is very disapproving of a child w/o coverage. Add to that the neglect, those people are nuts, & the greedy landlord think tank was lieing to him too...

[@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789]

The "it's just lady things" remind me of when I got a bad ear infection in middle school and had trouble hearing out if for a while, and my family would just joke "speak into my good ear!" Which upset me a lot because they could see I would get upset, and I told them to stop. They continued that for years after that ear infection and only stopped like a year or so ago. AFTER LIKE 3 OR SO YEARS OF THAT JOKE WHICH THEY KNEW I HATED

[@Ikajo]

Sometimes family can have the biggest bullies. And you might not be able to escape them.

[@lissaw4]

I mean, that's completely different than just blatant misogyny.

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

Sounds like my egg donor, who constantly "joked" about me having to walk home from all sorts of things (including a cross-country vacation and *CHEMOTHERAPY*, for the record) if I didn't act the way she wanted me to.

[@DopeioThePhoneBoi]

...you had an ear infection and they made fun of you instead of taking you to a doctor???

[@reverbscherzo7850]

About the school supplies… where I live, the list sent home to parents is VERY specific about two things: (1) These are COMMUNITY supplies to be shared throughout the classroom, so it is recommended that nothing be personalized. (2) Please buy ONLY these kinds of supplies, and then lists the most generic (cheapest) types of notebooks, pencils, gluesticks, etc. The problem here is lack of communication - by the school and by the teacher. If parents understand how the supplies will be used, they are much more likely to accommodate. As far as why parents have to buy supplies that should be provided by the school, I couldn’t agree more, but every time they ask for more money for schools, everyone votes no.

[@cherylhuot4436]

The school supplies story. I hate when teachers do this! And it’s nothing new! A number of of my kids teachers tried to pull this back in the 80s-90s. It was so the kids that had the cheap supplies wouldn’t feel bad. After Momma Bear showed up on her broom they figured out pretty quick my kids wouldn’t be participating in that nonsense. After I spent money on name brand supplies and my kid came home crying that everything was taken away and poor quality crap exchanged back to her I had more than a few questions. So it’s OK to make my kid feel bad so the other kid doesn’t feel bad. All I got was double speak and how I didn’t understand and on and on. Needless to say…. My kid got their supplies back. Please know I was very active at my child’s school. I was not a troublemaker, nor did I cause problems. I contributed lots of time, effort, and money to my kids classrooms and teachers. I just didn’t allow stealing from my kids.

[@bel0749]

My brother used to do the period thing to me, every time I got upset about something he thought was undeserved, he’d ask me if I was PMSing. I tried explaining to him that he was invalidating my feelings, basically saying ‘what you feel is stupid, the only explanation is hormones’, but he would not get it. So I started doing the same to him. Every time he got upset over something I thought was silly, I’d ask him if he was on his period. After this happened a few times, he stopped asking me :)

[@affettatoprosciutto7139]

I understand the teacher thing TO AN EXTENT (the asking the parents to chip in for supplies) because typically the teachers foot the bill for all school supplies. But the taking it away and making them pick other things and then trying to take away her personalized items and then SENDING A NOTE AND REQUESTING A MEETING? Nah. That’s where my understanding ends 💀

[@jkp9828]

Same! I hope OP posts an update on the meeting

[@Scarlett.Granger]

It's shameful teachers have to pay that. They're paid shit in america anyway, and then they have to do that? Shame on the government.

[@Jessicaaljp]

Wait. Do teachers have to pay for school supplies out of their own pocket? Or do they have a budget from the school?

[@jcsjcs2]

In which country are you living? Why should the teacher pay for school supplies? Do teachers also have to pay for the privilege to teach?

[@plasmocat1863]

Yeah, she and I would have a conversation that she would not like very much.

[@hanalexcranealister6799]

The second story, I’m left handed and need special left materials for school (like scissors) in early elementary school a left handed teacher stole my scissor and I wasn’t able to learn how to cut a skill I haven’t ever learned properly

[@wensenthorsager6910]

At my old school we had a teacher like that and everyone called her comrade her name it was hillarious but also frustrating.

[@melissacunningham6048]

For the school supplies story: As a teacher I always collected the loose-leaf paper, tissues, ect to keep and ration. When the students kept their own they often ran through it fast and then needed to use the communal supply, which was largely the stuff I collected at the beginning of the year, but was never enough to make it through the year. The paper in the communal supply was used for assignments, but the paper kept by the students were often used for other things like sketches or paper airplanes. I always had to buy supplies for the class which I didn't always have enough funds for, so this collection at the beginningof the year was important. That said, the parent in this story was reasonable. If their child kept their supplies separated and didn't use a communal supply, then as long as they're willing to do all the resupplies throughout the year, the teacher shouldn't have a problem.

[@silver5866]

The school supplies story got me feeling heated. There’s nothing wrong with helping kids in need. But if they bought extras, there’s no need to mess with the students supplies.

[@Miss_Judged]

I agree!

[@dracko158]

rSlash: "Who's responsible for their kid? Them." Landlord and Landlady: "Unfortunately, reality wouldn't see it that way."

[@itsOasus]

2nd OP: Time to sue the school district!

[@SquirrelPotatoes]

Weird fact, in Japan they make kids dye their hair black at certain schools to fit that stereotype as well.

[@temmyetemm]

Japan is the place where they take the "being a cog to the machine" way too serious, to some extreme points.

[@SSJSonRei]

I was lucky enough that my school didn’t do this (Because curled dark brown would stand out even if you dye it) but they really do try to enforce this type of “fit the mold” mentality.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

“Is it that time of the month?” “No, but I can’t expect you to remember that with all those blows to the head from football, it’s a miracle you can even string sentences together.”

[@TheWolfie234]

Story 4. Personally... As a kid who was abandoned. I feel it's both. Pay the daughter the college fund. Pay the mother the child support. That way they both get money that feels owed and fair for both stages of their lives.

[@nila309]

In the “yankee swap” story, as I understand it, schools do this so that lower income children are not singled out for not having “better” supplies. I think that’s great, but if someone buys extra supplies and then some for their own kid, the extra should be enough. I don’t see taking away a kid’s personalized stuff as particularly fair.

[@Cyberdog22]

Yes comrades, put everything in center! Communism make everyone equal!

[@blueblur1984]

Landlord here, the first story is completely on the landlord. The dryer caused the liability. If you have a public laundromat and a kid get injured because of a faulty machine let them hop in are you suing the other patron or the person responsible for the machines?

[@dragonetafireball]

People often tell themselves that their intense katartic crying is just an act when it’s still serving it’s purpose of communicating distress and releasing stress because when they feel clear of mind the non needs a coping mechanism to explain it

[@TheOneThatMoos]

For the story about child support, I think it goes back to what you said about the grandparents being able to give whoever they want their money. But in this case it doesn’t really matter because OP said that she was going to help her mother pay off her debt so the mother is going to get at least a portion of that money anyway.

[@leeatkin9925]

For the school supplies story, as a teacher I am on the parents side. I see how kids, especially elementary kids treat some of their supplies. The break thier crayons, dry out their markers, erase away nothing with their erasers.Then there are the other kids that take good care of tehir supplies. These kids should not be punished by having to use the broken, dried, chewed up leftovers of thier less caring peers.

[@SonicPrimus]

My god that last story...if that were my sister, and my brother and father did that, as well as any other man in my family, they would not only be getting absolutely humiliated, they'd probably be missing teeth for sure, not to mention the fact that I would probably kick their asses for such sexist remarks! My brother and father would be the most affected for sure.

[@karbonythe]

And then they would use it to say "see ? Women can't handle their emotions !" (Assuming you're a lady of course, otherwise they would probably say nothing)

[@SonicPrimus]

​@@karbonytheAnd if I were a woman, I'd fire back by saying "Says the 'manly men' who can't take a reaming after being exposed for being assholes!!" In those exact words, throwing their flakked up logic right back in their faces and then shoving it up their exhaust ports.

[@LMF1716]

Rslash yelling "Racism detected!" Is one of the funniest things I've heard him do on this channel

[@ah7908]

On the child support story: OP is a great daughter. You are a good person for making sure your mom will be taken care of like she took care of you. I believe that 100% is the best way to handle the situation

[@Aryasvitkona]

#4: Op admitted she wants to use the money to ensure her mother can retire comfortably. Even if the mother should have received the money, the child has openly stated she intends to use it to help her mother out, so it will ultimately go to help them both, so I think it's fine

[@braidygal]

I’ve never heard of them switching binders/folders in schools. I’d be mad about that policy.

[@abiean222]

let me tell you, i would not give up my things. i remember spending hours picking out just the perfect supplies to use for school and i would not let someone just take those things from me. that teacher would have to pry my things from my hands and fight me off just to take them lol

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Story two: Since the superintendent and principal don't want to help you, you should turn to the people that are very interested - the press. Then the school will probably suddenly be very interested.

[@Basically_Anybody]

Third story, I had a teacher like that in middle school that in grade school who tried this with the class. I think the purpose was somewhere along the lines of "getting students out of their comfort zones and teaching them to share with others". Ultimately I didn't have a notebook or pencils for a week because some parents obviously decided that the "bring supplies so they can be redistributed around the class" was an excellent chance to skip out on actually buying supplies.

[@Josh_the_jester]

No said the man in Moscow, it belongs to everyone

[@davesaylor7829]

See, I always thought the reason they did this was specifically because they know some parents won't supply their kids' materials.

[@Basically_Anybody]

If that was the case, then it was an abject failure because my parents bought me supplies and I proceeded to start the semester without important things.

[@davesaylor7829]

@@Basically_Anybody That's communism for ya.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

That should be illegal. Also if parents can't afford basic supplies, the government needs to step in, not making the teacher or other parents responsible to pay.

[@haikuhaiku]

99% of the time I agree with your scores but the girls brother and dad that made fun of her for having/doing something that she has absolutely no control over deserves wayyy more that 2 buttholes!

[@demonestdeusinversus]

I'd be so petty with this. Cry when they look at me. housework? Nu uh, it's that time of the month again, cramps daddy! And i think i'd just have my period every. single. day. Constant demands for ice cream and chocolate. And if they really annoy me i'd leave a tampon full of ketchup in the bathroom. Also use every cliche you know about men against them.

[@kimkeller5155]

I am a retired Elementary teacher. When my students brought their school supplies, their names had to be written on them. Any student who didn't have their names written on them, did so with a marker that first day of school to ensure they received their own when it came time to replace them. The only supplies that were used in a general use were Kleenex and ziploc bags. At the end of the year, any leftover supplies were given back to the student who brought them to be used for the next school year.

[@KayBbyXOXOXO]

I understand asking for extra supplied from parents who can afford it, in order to make sure a kid doesn't run out of pencils after a few months (kids go through pencils like crazy). But I don't think that's enough to justify wanting ALL the school supplies from everyone

[@sydneyyxD]

I understand that teachers don't get a lot of funds and pay out of pocket for their supplies. But if a teacher sent home a note saying I have to make my daughter have generic items so they can be given to everyone I'm requesting a new teacher. Simply because I bought extra supplies to go towards the other children. And even if I didn't give extra, my kid gets the supplies I buy for them. Wtf.

[@bbjjbb61]

I had this only once. My son was starting kindergarten and was all excited to pick out his favorite colors of pencils, notebooks, etc. He came home on the first day super upset because all his supplies were gone and he had some dollar store items. Not trying to shade dollar store but come on. Walmart has sales so good you almost get the items as cheap. Anyways, I was livid because no one said anything and all our kid's stuff was gone, never to be seen again. After that (5 kids), I would ask what the teacher needed and tell them if they plan on redistributing items I'm sending nothing until the second week.

[@violet_skrs]

the "men" in the last story may have old fashioned ideas of what constatutes abuse. but what they did to her, especially the father, is literal child abuse. they have been emotionally degrading/minimizing her, basically trying to gaslight her into submission so she can never complain. fucking assholes are going to emptipnally ruin her if something drastic isn't done to change those guy's behavior. that is a one way ticket to her dating someone who is just as awful and manipulates her too. if it's possible her relatives need to remove her from the care of that pitiful excuse for a father. whether it's the aunt or grandma in the story, OP cannot stay with the dad & brother if they are so entitled. i wonder if the mom simply left due to being abused also, or if she died.

[@cb.on.yt22]

last story: next time one of them asks “is it that time of month again?” just say “i don’t know your menstrual schedule but you can borrow a tampon if you need it”

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I'd be asking the school to have the ridiculous demand in writing, sighting why my daughter had to have black hair, instead of being like any other girl who dyed their hair. If they're going on "natural", I'd ask how it wasn't "natural" ... I despise stupidity, and I despise underlining racism just as much.