r/AmITheA--Hole for Suing My Daughter?

[@luvondarox]

I love how OP won massive points with Grandpa by shutting down the men by pointing out they're bullies, not Italian.

[@joimumu]

You can tell Grandpa was just waiting for someone to put them in their place since they were all bark and no bite

[@Nerobyrne]

You gotta love these people who dish it out all day but as soon as someone gives their energy back to them, they fold like lawn chairs and cry all day about how mean you are.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Disrespecting a guest in your house is the most un-Italian thing ever.

[@nazgulthedeathless9403]

@@MorganVsTheInternet “ya Breakin ya madas hart!” Sorry had to

[@realityfairy1060]

She probably feels really attract To her boyfriend right now. I would

[@neilprice513]

The first story: This isn't about the vacation, or the fact that OP's step-grandparents didn't include her. Or that her mum could have pitched in for a ticket for OP. It's about her father and step family intentionally keeping the holiday a SECRET from OP and gaslighting her to be quiet about it when they were caught. This is about her own father excluding OP from his "New family" and treating OP like a inconvenience and not part of the family.

[@softqueensaru]

This. My niece has two sisters who aren't my brother's, but my parents and I try to be fair and get birthday/Christmas gifts even if they're not dollar for dollar equal what we get my niece, however there's tons of things we do with Rebecca that don't include her half sisters because she's OUR family and they're like... peripheral family and have their own extended families. The bigger issue with OP's dad is him or her mom not trying to make it work, or at least say, "Hey this is happening but we'll try and do something with you at another time." They knew they were in the wrong or they wouldn't have kept it a secret...

[@RealLifeIronMan]

I have done photography jobs for a couple years now. I once had a woman ask me to photoshop her stepchild out of a few of the pictures. I was at first confused, but soon realized after talking to her more that she wanted to pretend her stepchild wasn't part of the family. Man some people really suck.

[@mozmotheferret7913]

There are plenty of stories where an OP has an ex, or a bio parent with step-kids. OP goes on holiday with their family and there's arguments because the step-kids aren't included, because they're step-kids. This story is that, but from a step-kids point of view. The step-grandparents don't have to include OP if they don't want to. The dad should've told OP about it, though. They didn't have to pay for OP, as she said her mum could've pitched in for her. But, if they just didn't want her to go with them, they still could've talked to her about it. I'm not sure she would've taken it well, but at least she wouldn't have found out the way she did.

[@softqueensaru]

@@mozmotheferret7913 Yep. With split families there's always going to be things that seem 'unfair', but the secrecy behind it all is what is gross, not the fact that she wasn't invited.

[@JosieJOK]

Exactly. The adults in this situation, OP’s dad most of all, knew how his daughter would feel being left out-that’s why this was kept a secret. Instead of doing the hard work of trying to find a way to take her, or talking to her and explaining why they couldn’t take her, OP’s dad wussed out and thought it’d magically all go away once they got back. OP’s dad is fail incarnate, and the stepmom demonstrated that she doesn’t care about OP at all.

[@doodlefawn4742]

I think the worst part about the first story was it being kept a secret. Shows that you're not willing to even communicate with your own kid. The daughter is totally justified in holding a grudge for that, and not beefing with the step-grandparents too.

[@WinterBoots15]

Seriously its coming off as “you should understand I dont care about you” vibes from the dad

[@dracko158]

I wouldn't mind not going, if they TOLD ME BEFOREHAND. The worst part is that they kept it a secret and then made a bunch of excuses and have the gal to call OP an entitled brat when he found out. This is seriously clear cut favoritism, and I don't blame OP for being disappointed in them. Honestly, the dad made the situation worse by gaslighting OP, plain and simple.

[@Zikar]

Right!? My parents took holidays without me when I was that age, it just meant I had the house to myself and could stay up later and watch/play whatever I wanted on the big TV with a friend. Order some pizza, y'know, just have some fun. The issue here is entirely communication and their father's seeming indifference to their feelings. Having information witheld from you is WAY worse than simply being told that you can't be involved for whatever valid reason.

[@fdm2155]

Also shows they knew it was a douchebag move to exclude the daughter. It's reasonable that the step grandparents might not see her as family and therefore not pay her way. Why couldn't her parents put their money together to include her? The fact that dad didn't even TRY is the worst part.

[@harrisonberlin3969]

The problem is the step grandparents took the whole core family if it was just the bio grandkids no problem

[@samaccardi]

As the grandson of two Italian immigrants, who has learned the language, and has visited home, and actually has dual citizenship, and actually exercises my right to vote by proxy, I'm glad OP in story 2 taught them a lesson. I'm sick of this "I'm Italian, but I don't speak the language, can't cook the food, and don't know the history or culture” bullshit. I'm not against people having pride in their heritage, quite the opposite, but if you're gonna have pride, know something about what you're proud of.

[@ked49]

I agree

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Admittedly I'm not as in touch with my Polish heritage as I should be by that criteria, even though I did live there for four years (as a result we have quite a few Polish decor in our house, and my dad speaks the language fluently). I am proud of it but at the same time I hate it when people use their heritage as an excuse to put others down. All I can really say I inherited from my Polish ancestors is my love of potatoes and my stubborn nature (no, seriously, you look at Polish history you'll see what I mean).

[@sabrinastratton1991]

@@DisneyFanatic2364 I'm adopted and my adoptive family are Scottish (Scottish Canadians originally). Gaelic was my first language (speaking, I can't read or write it), I LOVE potatoes, and I am super proud of my adoptive culture. I'm biracial. I've had people claim I can't b3 Scottish so I asked them what clan they were from and the history and which area they are originally from, and do they speak the language to the response is "why should I know that stuff?" My adoptive family clan is Drummond and at my sisters weddings the clan tartan is used and my grandpa always plays the bagpipes, he tried teaching me but I'm not musically inclined. Scottish dances are also incorporated. I feel you can be proud of your heritage but for the love of God at least LEARN about it and the culture. And people who know nothing about their heritage but use it as a personality trait bothers me.

[@cathylanders6377]

@@ked49 me too 😊

[@wowieitssam9457]

Yes! I’m half italian (my dad’s side is full italian, but aren’t very connected to the heritage) and I never use it as a weird pride thing. The most “Italian” thing my family has ever done is order italian catering during covid-xmas because we didnt wanna cook a bunch for just our household. My town has a huge italian population that we even hold a festival for it every year, and too many people boast about their italian-ness to absurd extents without knowing anything about the culture or language. Ugh. Yeah, the most italian thing about me is my skin tone, but i dont use that as an excuse to be loud and rude like OP’s gf’s family does. Some people smh

[@LadyZubat]

So for the brush story: to anybody confuses to how a brush like that can cost $3,000 these brushes are made by hand every step of the way it is done manually. This includes cutting through potentially millions upon millions of fibers from a rabbit hair to find the best of the best to make the brush. The bamboo handle is often carved by hand and everything is done in a traditional sense including gluing everything together.

[@onyxdragon1179]

In other words, the making of the brush itself is a complicated and expensive art

[@supertechtoo1872]

@@onyxdragon1179 Some of the "less expensive" affordable antique brushes go for as low as $650 US. Can't imagine why that brush wasn't locked away while the kid wasn't using it.

[@Tokyo_Kanekii]

@@supertechtoo1872 would u lock ur 3'000.- PC away if ur going on holiday and stuff? Or ur Tv?

[@onyxdragon1179]

@@Tokyo_Kanekii he would lock the room that PC or TV is, just like everyone with common sense

[@onyxdragon1179]

@@supertechtoo1872 maybe it was locked away or at least stowed in a case. Doesn't matter, what matter is that sis took it and broke it (and tbh, wouldn't be surprised if she broke it out of spite)

[@Jesi310]

If OP of the last story wanted to be nice, they could have said that she could still go to college to get a degree. College isn't just for those who have just graduated from high school, there are plenty of people going later in life.

[@sgnibble1]

Yeah she sounded so condescending and out of touch as if everyone is living the same life to have the same opportunities. She sounds like those people that scream personal responsibility without knowing what people go through but when stuff comes to bite them in the behind that goes out the window and they ask others for help instead of taking that personal responsibility they harp about. I don’t know but this person sounds very privileged, and judgmental

[@Threadnaught]

@@sgnibble1 I know, as if OP has as many opportunities as her brother's gf. She's probably white, OP's gf has way more opportunities.

[@ajjamsen694]

I geeked on the Italian story. My family is one of those that take their heritage seriously (my grandparents are from Italy and my ma did grow up in that environment) but if someone did this, my family would have died laughing. Someone who has the backbone to put us in our place to stand up to a family you're trying to impress can chill with this guido family 😁 Also, I do calligraphy and that brush is no joke. Seriously, what the brats reasoning for breaking it in the first place? I have no doubt that brush came in some sort of wooden box (usually simple but very nice. Velvet lined, various things like brush upkeep and whatnot) so her going into this box, breaking it on purpose, then trying to buy some cheap, knock-off, Dollar Store brush? She knew the price, too. There's no way she didn't. OP is so NTA and the kid and ex should be grateful that OP hasn't involved the cops yet. Wouldn't that be a felony since the damage is over $500? Yea, just pay 😑 they wouldn't have to pay if she hadn't been an entitled brat.

[@justaperson4656]

There were updates to the calligraphy story. Step daughter broke it out of frustration that she wasn't as good as daughter, step daughter's dad came in, forced step to apologise, then compensated op and then some

[@ox_why]

@@justaperson4656 yeah I'd have to say how do you accidentally break a brush Cuz the *abuse* I put mine thru and they haven't broken, plus they are super cheap

[@yetiornot5726]

I absolutely get all of this, but what I want to know is where on Earth did they find a three THOUSAND dollar fude? I know that quality art supplies are understandably pricey, but I could only find one complete set that was over $1K, and even then it was barely over the line. Was it handmade by traditionalist artisan hermits from a tiny Japanese mountain village or something?

[@rappsface]

@@yetiornot5726 they may not be American, the Australian dollar is worth less than the American one, so it could be something like that?

[@yetiornot5726]

@@rappsface Possibly, but the Aussie dollar is only 2/3 the value of USD, so that still would barely break the $2K mark, and I'm still talking about a full set instead of a single brush.

[@ArtCrumbs]

As an artist, a Fude brush, especially a handcrafted one from Japan can be VERY, VERY expensive, depending on wood and real (usually animal) hairs used as well as who crafted it. Those brushes are made to last a lifetime and are usually handcrafted from scratch, but it's not hard to ruin them. I've seen brushes go for thousands before. If it's more of a metal one, it can cost a lot as well, though most aren't made from metal or use metal shafts/handles. A lot of people don't think those tools matter, or that a 3k brush is unreasonable, but it's not. A lot of people can make beautiful artwork with cheaper tools, but sometimes, the tool quality can REALLY make a difference.

[@maxsupernova]

Story 2: The family's behavior is the definition of bullying. Don't sell it short. Good on OP for taking them down a notch or two. The men are all AHs.

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

except the grandpa. he's cool.

[@princessbeaniewiggle]

@@yabe-kfptentacultist yes, he's good

[@thunderflare59]

My favorite part was the guy claiming American sports are more manly than European sports. Yeah, you sound really proud of your Italian heritage.

[@SailorMya]

They are using offensive racial stereotypes to dismiss their bad behavior... SMH

[@Nerobyrne]

@@SailorMya Italian is a nationality, not a race

[@colleencook382]

Hot water story: yes I agree, what is in the contract. Not to mention there was no discussion of a hotel room. If it's not stated in the rental agreement I don't see how the tenant can just assume OP would pay for the hotel. If the tenant had stated her intention to get a hotel, then they could have discussed it. I have no problem agreeing that OP should not be on the hook for $250. OP might have agreed if she went to a much more reasonably priced hotel. So no, tenant doesn't get to go live it up at a four star hotel and expect OP to pay for it.

[@fdm2155]

I think she didn't discuss it because she wanted to feign ignorance. Same with claiming there was 'no water'. Tenant seems like she's trying to take advantage. Hope there's a written agreement that favors OP.

[@TJDious]

Seriously you don't get to decide on a solution unilaterally then demand compensation after the fact.

[@Paddy-X]

Fully Agree! Also this should have been discussed before the fact so that if some can be worked out it can be.. Popping up after and saying you ow X and there is nothing that can be done after the fact is a bad move. It corners the person so am not surprised it was a sharp response! We had it with a builder who was doing a sizable project for us, said no problem he can do it.. After when sorting out payment he piped up oh yea and that and proceeded to itemise every step with different values for each and add it to the total. Ended up being several hundred. It would have been much cheaper for the supplier to just deliver and pick things and after the fact there it cant be changed!!

[@Nekulturny]

"es I agree, what is in the contract. Not to mention there was no discussion of a hotel room. If it's not stated in the rental agreement I don't see how the tenant can just assume OP would pay for the hotel. " Because when you have a tenant, it doesn't need to be spelled out. It is considered an IMPLIED WARRANTY that the unit you rent out will be HABITABLE. Functioning hot water is required for a rental unit to legally be HABITABLE. It doesn't need to be written out in the contract, it is implied, the same way it is implied that if I rent a house from you that it will have a roof. It is implied that it will not be overrun with roaches, it is implied it will have functioning heat. Rslash is wrong.

[@Nerobyrne]

So, I live in Germany, and we have some pretty tenant-siding laws concerning rent here. And even here this wouldn't fly. What WOULD maybe work is that she deducts a portion of the rent (there are charts for this) for the amount of days she didn't have hot water, as hot water is one of those "basic needs" that every rented apartment needs to have.

[@Hybrid301]

I can just imagine the dad and step family all rushing around to get ready for their big vacation. Like a bunch of high school kids trying to set up a house party as soon as the parents go out of town for a weekend.

[@Nerobyrne]

You can always tell people know that what they're doing is wrong when they get offended when you describe what they're doing factually.

[@cassiex7279]

As a step child I know how much this sucks. My dad, stepmom and Half siblings constantly did the same. Went to Egypt, Europe, the Bahamas and never once invited me or told me and my brother about their trips. FYI my dad is loaded, but we are his bastard kids and never were spoiled like their kids (Cars, paid college etc) only when we went places during custody visits. I have plenty resentment. Only found out because weekend visits there would be new pictures and souvenirs. I would never be the same if I had step kids. NEVER cuz that shit hurts.

[@moonfire41]

Something similar happened to me with one of my old kinda sorta roommates with benefits. Two of my frenemies, who I havent talked to in over a decade, emailed him and saud they were going to pick him up for a fun weekend without me. He left his email open and I read "dont tell her, she'll get p**sed" I wouldnt have been mad if they'd just told me he wanted to get out of the house for a couple days. They went behind my back like I had him on a leash or something. Or my ferlings didnt matter. One of the girls even said "cant you see youre driving him nuts?" I hadnt nagged or been bossy with him in any way, so I dont know where that came from. They wouldnt let me visit him either, and one of the girls even had sx with him. They treated me like I was just some ugly old hag that was holding him prisoner or something. There was only a 9 year difference between us. He was 35 and I was 46. He came back home for a few days then decided to run off to California where I didnt connect with him for over a year. Like, if you just want me for a place to live, say so. Dont pretend to want a poly relationship when youre not even interested in me. So the same point. It didnt make me angry that he wanted to get around, its that he did it behind my back. So I feel sorry for op here though its a different subject matter. Sneaky people are guilty people.

[@cosmically4286]

Guys from the Italian family: « we are men with masculinity of steel!! This is our identity as macho macho men » Some Guy: *speaks Italian* Guys from the Italian family: *masculinity shatters like glass*

[@NichtcrawlerX]

For the second story, the Granddad understands teasing has to be a two way street, the other men do not. Do not dish it out, if you cannot take it back. OP did not disrespect their masculinity, he tested it and they could not handle that.

[@thunderflare59]

Can't disrespect what doesn't exist.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly, they couldn't handle the same "test" 😂

[@SherlocksLeftNipple]

Exactly. He shattered their excuses for being buttholes, and it hurt their pride. Bonus points to OP for putting a bunch of Americans in their place about misusing their ancestry to act like a stereotype.

[@1bendykat]

Story 5: I can’t believe how out of touch OP is. College is hard and expensive without a child to care for. Having a kid to care for is also very hard. Also, going to college doesn’t mean you’re going to have a successful life!

[@marianajones6073]

Also OP race comment was lowkey racist. Her mentioning that she's Latina had nothing to do with the story.

[@tully6648]

I hate it when people tell others to examine their choices long after they've already been made. People always assume that things would've been better in an alternate route, but they could've easily turned out worse, too. OP had no right to try to foist this "college is the golden standard" mindset on someone who's already worked their life out.

[@mortenlunddk]

I think it was very rude but also true to an extend. No it's not the only reason she didn't go to college, but it most likely made the situation clear that she couldn't. But she herself is complaining that it was too hard, too expensive so on so forth, well it is for everyone the only difference between OP and this lady is a child. Yes a child to an extend is a hinderance that can be overcome but most people can't. A child also factors into the money problem. Idk, if the lady was truly happy about everything i don't see why she would take it poorly. She isn't saying hey you did something she just said you chose to be a mother over college.

[@Darkloid21]

@@mortenlunddk I think it has nothing to do with being truly happy, rather being demeaned for something that is out of her control. Even without a kid college is very expensive and the support isn't really easy to obtain (not to mention is pretty selective). So SHE is right, it is hard to structure your life around it, especially NOW that it's way more expensive that people are doubting if it's even worth the risk.

[@Nerobyrne]

if anything, having that kid saved her life. She thinks she's struggling now, try doing the same job but paying off a mountain of college debt.

[@lizziefirkey6385]

I think the problem with the first story isn't that the grandparents didn't pay for OP. It's all about the dad. And *HE* didn't even *talk* to the OP about it beforehand! Even if it was decided that OP wouldn't go, he could plan to have a smaller vacation for just the two of them. Or it could've been planned for OP to go on one with their mother (which, if the mother can afford it, they should do).

[@b.c.9358]

And the grandmother who straight up lied to OP and then told her dad OP was grounded. Yikes.

[@rensenkai5974]

Yeah the dad should be catching most of the flak In my opinion. It’s his job as here further to help his daughter and stand up for her.

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, did he really think he could keep a Paris vacation secret? And did he not realize how hurtful that would be to his daughter? Expecting to be included on a 'family vacation' is not at all entitled. Her dad is a jerk and her step mother isn't much better.

[@mattclose5490]

The grandparents should definitely get a butt hole score. My in laws would NEVER do this to my son, their step grandson. When their daughter married the dad, you have to accept everyone as a package deal. They clearly don't accept op as family and the dad communicated that he's ok with that. Then to come back and talk about it openly in front of the one person that got excluded....wow. What a bunch of jerks!

[@blackrex828]

@@b.c.9358 I think OP deserved that grounding, what child talks to their parent's mother like that, and I'm mainly talking about how she told the grandmother to leave her room.

[@francescaperron2003]

The first story is a great example of "all children deserve a parent, not all parents deserve children"

[@rahofh1000]

Story 4: it would’ve been great if OP told the family members that were defending Ana, to pitch in to help with the $3000 replacement since they care so much about her future, it’s a very easy way to shut hypocrites down. Also, their plan of replacing it with a cheap one is absurd! Imagine someone taking your new, iPhone 14 pro max, and breaking it then saying “oh sorry, here you can have this one, a Nokia 1100, now we’re even”…..

[@Estarile]

I mean they could also set up a payment plan, which is what you generally DO if you can't pay someone the lump some back.

[@SuzanneRush]

I'd also point out to the opinion-sharers that the ones choosing to 'ruin Ana's future' are her mother & her wife, given they're the ones CHOOSING to let Ana bear the full responsibility to avoid 'taking a hit to their finances' to cover their kid/stepkid's theft and damage. They have the option to pay for a replacement, and look after Ana, or hang Ana out to dry and face the consequences of her illegal actions. Not the OP's fault if Ana's parents are choosing the latter.

[@ked49]

That is an upgrade

[@RiveroftheWither]

I love it when "masculine" men are so fragile that they can't even take what they dish out without imploding into adult hissy fits. They literally couldn't handle a man they view as less manly and therefore deserving of shame (in their eyes) actually firing back and defending himself. That my friends is toxic masculinity at its finest.

[@thetruth1816]

Just shows what a bunch of wussies they are

[@Tustin2121]

As a descendant of Italian immigrants myself, I shake two fingers and a thumb at them. 🤌 *Ey! What’s with the toxic masculinity, uh?!* 👋 Shoemakers, the lot of them! (Don’t ask me, my grandfather called people trying to rip you off with terrible craftsmanship ‘shoemakers’ all the time.)

[@fmj1978]

It always confuses me, I'm a woman but I was raised by my single father and many brothers lol I see their banter all the time even with the girls/guys I've dated and been friends with, they'll make a witty comeback and they'll start laughing and praising them for the wit I guess lol so it's like an extra layer of funny to me when I hear those stories 😂

[@RiveroftheWither]

@@Tustin2121 Yeah that too, I'm a descendant of Scottish immigrants, I believe my great grandmother was pregnant with my grandmother when she came to the States (I was able to actually find her name when I visited Ellis island for a school trip). That said, you don't see me walking around acting like a Scottish stereotype or going Beowulf on peoples butts. It's one thing to want to study and honor your ancestry as an American, it's another thing entirely to behave like these guys.

[@rogthepirate4593]

Agreed, except for the "toxic masculinity" part, I think that's a really terrible buzzword that is abused to hell and back. They're being assholes, plain and simple.

[@papabear1333]

Family is not just blood, it’s love for one another.

[@Nerobyrne]

Oh, btw, you know that quote that "family" people love to throw around about blood and water? Well, apparently, the original quote referred to "the blood of the bond" and "the water of the womb", at least that's what I heard. Actually makes way more sense. No bond is stronger between people than the one forged in blood, but family is really just whose water you sat in for 9 months.

[@papabear1333]

@@Nerobyrne That sounds about right 👍🏼😁

[@SoulFlames.]

Yep, the original quote was The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb

[@BlakeSmith17]

@rapheALtoid that's okay - family don't end in blood, but it doesn't start there either. family cares about you. not what you can do for 'em. family's there for the good and the bad; all of it. they got ya back even when it hurts. that's family.

[@akl2k7]

@@SoulFlames. People need to stop spreading this. This version of the quote dates only back to the 1990s while the "blood is thicker than water" variant has been around for centuries.

[@kingoreo3642]

One day OP (1st story) will not invite the father to her wedding because they just couldn't work out the finances for one more person. :/

[@thetruth1816]

Then the dad :" what ?? What did I do wrong to you to resent me so much"??

[@princessbeaniewiggle]

Love that idea.

[@bunchou4006]

Or any event. OP: Oops! I'm sorry dad for not inviting you to Thanksgiving. I only have the budget for 7 people: my mom, myself, my boyfriend, his parents and grandparents.

[@Nerobyrne]

Then just send them that clip of the dude going: "HA! GOTTIM!"

[@BohemianDeer]

Especially if it's a destination wedding to a place he really, really wanted to go to.

[@mellow3995]

Yo that grandfather in story 2 is a real cool guy, I can see my grampa doing exactly the same thing. I'm so glad OP put those douches in their place.

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

My dad would act that way if a potential partner started speaking Polish, though unlikely we would've allowed things to escalate that far (unless it was game night).

[@baosia]

If we're bringing in morals on the water heater thing, the good thing to do would have been to notify the landlord of what your plan was instead of just springing something like that on them. Give them a chance to work something out. Even if you're legally in the right you definitely chose the option that left scorch marks on that bridge

[@AnUmbreonNamedRaire]

Exactly like. Tenant could have just said "Hey, because there's no hot water, I'm going to stay at a hotel for the weekend. Could I pay less for next rent payment to make up for a bit of it? Call me, let's discuss" Then it at least opens up the conversation. You can't just dump a $250 bill and not pay rent, while expecting it to be fully covered, without even asking first

[@mikmaks7393]

@@AnUmbreonNamedRaire True. And the hot water was fixed in like 2 days. I work with property mgt and that was not too bad. Tenant most of the time thinks were 911 sheesh.

[@Lestaticate]

2nd Story: LOL, I absolutely love the granddad in this story. I'm sure the GF wasn't embarrassed of OP's actions. Hell, I'd be proud of my partner shutting down a bunch of bullies! (Don't mess with the Italian-speaking IT guy!) Last Story: DUDE. DUUUUDE. OP. NO. BAD OP. * taps with rolled newspaper *

[@noobiesensei6281]

I think she was more ashamed of her brothers...

[@Lestaticate]

@@noobiesensei6281 Yeah, I agree! Reworded my post!

[@luckystudios9703]

I feel like grandpa might've liked OP even more because OP is doing more to keep their heritage alive than his own family. He must be fed up with his family being all proud of being italian and yet not even bothering to learn the language.

[@charityquill4965]

@@luckystudios9703 I hope grandpa has lots of conversations with op in his native tongue :)

[@legendarygamingplus5524]

The last story OP should of instead of questioning Michelle’s life choices he should of talked her through possablilites in finding a way for Michelle to attend school and get a degree I definitely agree with Michelle on looking for opportunities with limited knowledge and skills for a good solid career but Michelle’s child didn’t ruin her life just more of delayed milestones really

[@asmith8692]

I'm the youngest of three kids. I was five when my mother started going for her degree, and fifteen when she graduated with honors. It took her longer than if she had started out of high school, but she did it. She supported my dad while he got his Masters after leaving the Army and he supported her while she went to college while working full-time.

[@JohnThomas-ut3go]

To me the poster is giving off real right wing vibes. The idea everything is the fault of individual choices, at least for those they see as failures, and that no other circumstance mater is kinda the foundation if their ideology.

[@legendarygamingplus5524]

@@JohnThomas-ut3go it’s actually more of natsacistic vibes if you think about it but your on point with that instead of looking at what can be done instead of shaming for life choices of course we make dumb decisions from time to time but that doesn’t mean we fail at life

[@juliameyer10313]

@@JohnThomas-ut3go I was honestly Just wondering why the heck that womans' heiritage was important for OP to Type out Edit: okay, apparently I'm Not the only one wondering about that. This OP is a textbook classist

[@yummico]

This was obviously an entitlement/racist thing. Settings it up so she doesn't actually say anything. But it's actually super racist. What? I just wondered why you were lazy and didn't go to school. Sounds racist to me! Diet racism

[@ResidentMilf]

Last story: OP is way out of line. Tons of people finish school after having a kid, including both myself AND my mother. Hell, my mother went back to school in her thirties with FOUR kids. I think it deserves 4/5 buttholes, as OP didn't just insult her sister, but insulted ALL moms.

[@ifoundhisjams4075]

Literally he also kinda insulted the kid insinuating if he had never been born she would’ve been able to get a degree

[@RhiannonSmudge]

I go to community college, and I see a lot of women who manage to juggle college and caring for their children, especially when Zoom meetings became the norm for a while. I certainly applaud those who can do it, and there’s also no shame in not having the time or money to go back to school. OP sounds like an entitled and ignorant teenager, but I don’t think what they said is 4/5 butthole worthy. Definitely 3/5 though for being a judgmental little shit

[@ireneryu1659]

Also op said Michelle is from Latin America, and education isn’t always accessible to women in those countries so op is just talking from a very privileged point of view

[@_scatterbrains]

also OP's point about colleges/unis providing support might be true, but you've gotta be able to get IN before you can access most of these scholarships and what not

[@Zapporah85]

I'm childfree and generally anti-all things children, but even I wouldn't say or even think that! Someone else's choice to have a kid is their choice. And even if it's true that it makes it more difficult to get certain opportunities, that doesn't mean that's right or that it's Michelle's fault. If I had someone express the desire to attend school in that situation, I would tell them about all the scholarships for working parents, first generation students, and older students. I'm only 27 and I still get a lot of scholarships just for being considered "old" 🙃 Education should be a right for everyone.

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Okay, OP in last story is DEFINITELY being a jerk. Nothing's wrong with not having a college degree, or working at a salon. Everyone needs their hair cut, right? Chances are you're going to go to a salon at least some point in your life. I hate it when people are judged based on their education/occupation. Especially when they're doing good and honest work.

[@Arob4343]

But wasn’t Michelle the one complaining about not having gone to college? It didn’t seem like op was being a jerk about her education, just telling Michelle why she didn’t have the chance. What I got from it was: “I always wanted to go to college, I never had a chanceeee wahhhhhh” “You had a chance but chose to be a mom” “OMG HOW DARE YOU?!?”

[@briansmith2113]

@@Arob4343 op literally said they started pressuring her to share more on herself and then judged her life

[@Arob4343]

@@briansmith2113 I guess

[@goofyrat2938]

@@Arob4343 being a mom isn’t something that impacts your ability to be in college. Her bringing that in as a reason to shame Michelle was a bitchy thing to do, and honestly she could’ve been nicer instead of crushing Michelle and all her life choices. School is not for everyone, and even if she was regretful about not going to college - That doesn’t make her the Asshole. Telling someone the only reason they can’t go to college is because they have a child, does. She’s happy with her job and her child, and OP even questioning the fact that they ‘might’ be the asshole after all the nasty things they said makes it feel all the more judgmental and condescending.

[@Mad-Lad-Chad]

@@goofyrat2938 But she wasn't shaming her at all. They were trying to get to know her better, she complained about not getting to go to college, and said it was because she never had the opportunity. Saying she missed those opportunities because she chose to be a mother (being a mother ABSOLUTELY impacts ability to be in college) isn't shaming her, it's making an observation. There very well could be more that affected her going to college obviously OP doesn't know her life story. You can be a mother and be in college, but to state that being a mother while attending college is the same as attending while not being a parent is ridiculous. And if you're not saying they are the same then that literally means having a child impacts your college experience. I'm not saying Michelle is the asshole, not by a long shot. But people are assuming a lot of things that weren't said about OP. Also, her being Latino could be relevant in that (at least some of the college's I looked at) had scholarships specifically for minorities. Meaning she'd have had an opportunity due to being Latino that others might not have. Though admittedly if that's what she was trying to get at she should have said that. As it is it seems....well, like he said in the video; it doesn't look good on her.

[@aceospades6570]

I love it when people break something and then use the excuse "well why the hell are you buying something so expensive?!" I bet they go around, smashing people's Lamborghinis and then tell the owners that there is literally no reason to have a car so expensive

[@amateural]

The first one is such an easy answer. "Hey, 16yr old daughter, grandma is paying for moms side of the family to go to Paris. Lets save up some of your money so we can go too!"

[@skunkrat01]

When my sister married a great guy who already had a kid (8), there was no distinction between my new step-nephew, and my sister's kids with her husband when they came along. I love them all to death! My family has always bought him presents and celebrated his milestones just the same. I just truly cannot understand how people can draw such lines in the sand about blood relatives like that. I've so enjoyed watching him grow up, my life is much richer for it. I am just honestly baffled at people who can exclude a child like that, which is essentially saying "I don't know you, I don't want to know you, you are insignificant" when that child has (probably) already been through the break up of their parents?? It's just bullying

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

Or worse, outright losing one parent.

[@skunkrat01]

@@marjoriejohnston4905 oh yeah omg. You're so right. Sorry, was only seeing things from my perspective when I wrote that. I hope I haven't hurt anyone

[@asmith8692]

My aunt had a blended family with her second husband (each had three kids) and she treats her husband's grandkids as her own and he treated her grandkids as his own. Their mothers (grandmothers) were respectful towards their grandkids stepsiblings.

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

@@skunkrat01 no, just mentioning it because it does happen and may be harder on some than just having their parents split. Especially if the step family starts trying to play favorites with vacations the way OP's step grandparents did

[@N0xiety]

It's actually worse, they want to keep appearances and expect her to also take part in their fake family play, trying to enforce it with punishments for disrespect as if there is any familial bond exists, while obviously not really giving two shits about her. It's worse than being open about it all and outright refusing to interact...

[@thehowlinggamer5784]

Op: then don't use your Italian heritage as an excuse for acting poorly when you can't even speak the language. Me: chef's kiss

[@ChaoticAngelKitten]

With the landlord one, it’s very simple, she went behind her landlord’s back and got herself a hotel. So that has nothing to do with the landlord as she didn’t talk to the landlord about it at all. That’s just her going about her day the way she wants to. The landlord never agreed to pay for a hotel for this issue as it was never brought up.

[@stuffyouotterlistento1461]

I think that, in the landlord's place, I'd consider giving her those particular days for free. So if it was 3 days out of a 30 day month, I'd reduce the rent by 10% for that month (3 days out of 30 = 1/10 = 10%, which in this case would knock $80 off her usual bill of $800). I also feel like, yes, the tenant should've discussed things ahead of time and not just have assumed, but she could've merely been clueless, and unlike the landlord, she didn't come across as hostile/needlessly confrontational. Paying for a hotel room does seem excessive though, assuming it was, indeed, pretty warm, and you have to expect for things to sometimes go wrong. Such is life. I feel it counts for something that this is something the landlord had to endure as well, and something that he took in stride, so it wasn't just a case of him not caring about others. As much as the tenant screwed up by making assumptions, I'm definitely feeling like the landlord was the bigger asshole here. He said he would've been willing to knock $50 off her rent, so why didn't he? It's not like she cussed him out or acted in such a way that should've caused him to refuse to give her a discount he otherwise would've. Maybe he was taken aback, but he could've acted more maturely than this, and talked to her in a sympathetic way, even if he ultimately wasn't going to compensate her. And honestly? Tenants can be problematic and rentals can go unfilled for a while, or need extra repairs and fresh coat of paint when somebody leaves, so if he otherwise didn't have any issues with this woman, paying $250 to keep her around and happy might have been worth it. I do think that the fact that she's rooming in his house, as opposed to renting a separate apartment means there's a bigger expectation that she has to accept the place "as is" though, as long as he's actually working to remedy any problems. I don't know. $80 dollars does seem like a good compromise to me though... $80 with a disclaimer that it shouldn't be assumed that she was always be reimbursed if some problem arises, and that such things should be negotiated ahead of time. But regardless, he should be civil and try not to alienate her. If I were in her place, I'd pretty likely be looking for a new place to live as soon as I could.

[@avashnea]

@@stuffyouotterlistento1461 Why should they give them ANY days for free? They HAD water.

[@ChaoticAngelKitten]

@@stuffyouotterlistento1461 True. Most people are smart enough, though, to understand that if you want compensation for something you gotta communicate. I’d understand if she had a special need like autism as they sometimes struggle with basic social skills but I don’t think she does but yes $50-$80 would have been fair compensation. I just think she needs to learn how to communicate. She came off to me as rather rude but maybe that’s just me.

[@lugismansion2400]

To me, there isn’t enough context to even decide for OP’s part, however in the woman’s part, i’d say 1/5 buttholes because of pretty much what you said already

[@TerranosaurRex]

​@LM9400 we do. Hot water is not a necessity. The tenant went behind ops back. On their own accord. And got a hotel. Is that ops fault?

[@tingzing5668]

On the Paris story: Higher A-hole score all around! I'm sorry but as a step-parent, if my mother or ANYONE gifted everyone in my family a huge gift and excluded ONLY my step child, I wouldn't accept it and I'd take it as a slight. ONE warning is all they'd get, and that's that. It's already so hard to keep kids mentally healthy and happy and feeling loved in blended family situations. That kind of shit HAS to be CUT OUT and those boundaries need to be set. Most adults should have the mental wherewithal to understand that alienating a step child in any family is unacceptable!

[@shelby8101]

Totally agree! I’m a step mom too. I can’t imagine my parents going “here’s a vacation for you, hubby and our REAL grandkids.. but not that other kid” what the heck!

[@ZombieSazza]

Your comment and the reply fills my heart with joy, you’re both wonderful parents

[@shelby8101]

@@ZombieSazza thank you! 😭

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

I feel the hotel story could too easily be manipulated by the tenant. "Oh my waters out so I'm going to go to the most expensive hotel I can find till the waters back." If you're desperate for hot water, there are gyms, family, friends, neighbours, and work, as OP said. When my family was having renovations to the bathroom, we worked out a system with the neighbour where we'd shower over there and foot some of the water bill. To just say 'are you going to pay for my hotel due to there being no water' when it was 1. The hotel was never discussed, and 2. The water wasn't out, merely the HOT water, seems super shady. I also feel like people are jumping on the landlord cuz 'rarrr all landlords evil'

[@SuzanneRush]

Yeah, like, obviously "what does the lease say?" is the key point. But at the very least, a thumbs up emoji is not a replacement for discussing it. Tenant could have said "oh, I can't go that long without hot water" and discussed alternative accommodation options, agreed on a discount to the rent if necessary, and found a place that fits within that budget. Just naming a price - that amounts to about 1/3rd of a month for two days - after the fact and expecting that to be covered is just not reasonable. I've had my share of trashy landlords, but this is definitely not an 'evil landlord' issue.

[@avashnea]

r/Slash ALWAYS jumps on the landlord no matter what the story.

[@DopeioThePhoneBoi]

@@avashnea as he should tbh, fuck landlords.

[@avashnea]

@@DopeioThePhoneBoi are you always such a fucking dumbass?

[@ZombieSazza]

“I told her that having a child ruined her education opportunities” Jesus Christ, that’s beyond judgmental, that’s horrendously elitist behaviour. Stop whinging that she didn’t say “goodbye”, why would she say goodbye to someone so disgustingly judgmental?! Maybe OP doesn’t realise this, but resources and opportunities in poorer areas is 100% a reason why folk struggle to get a good college/university education, they literally lack the resources and can’t work their way up some ladder to get there, this is a well known fact about social class mobility, something OP doesn’t seem to be aware of because he’s a judgmental c*nt. She’s happy in life, she didn’t have the same access to resources that he did, and he’s judging her because he’s a prick. 100% TA. It’s little wonder she didn’t wanna talk to you, I’d have walked off too.

[@Nerobyrne]

I don't believe it went down the way he said it did. Asking someone if they're really happy in life doesn't cause people to break down crying. I think he said a bunch of messed up stuff but didn't want to include it in the story because he knows it will make him look bad. Also that whole "are you really happy" thing didn't even make any sense in response to her question if he thinks her child kept her from going to college.

[@staarfajter922]

Hard to judge this one. But if you ask someone if they are happy with their choices and they have a mental breakdown, they are probably not happy.

[@post_ian94]

@@staarfajter922 it's not all back or white. You can be happy with most of your choices, but everyone has their insecurities and things they wish were different. This mother's main issue was not being able to go to college and maybe that's something that torments her every now and then. I'm happy with most of my choices but I'd also break down - not necessarily in front of the person - if someone implied my chronic illnesses could've been managed and it's 100% my fault I didn't finish college earlier, especially if they didn't know the hell I went through. OP didn't just ask her if she was happy with her choices.

[@rebeccajesse4604]

not to mention, saying that in front of the kid?! If that kid really is "why she didn't go to college", that kid could be a teenager based on the mother's age (32). That kid would totally understand what is being implied. Such a cruel thing to say regardless, but if it was in front of the kid, then that is just absurdly cruel and callous.

[@ZombieSazza]

@@post_ian94 ​ yeah as a chronically disabled person who’s bedridden with mobility problems, has PTSD, and is in permanent pain because of nerve damage, I’m sad I couldn’t finish university (I have a HND which is really cool tho, 2nd year uni), I’ve been a widely published photographer, I was a model when I was younger, I’ve worked with local politicians during election season (Scotland), and I’m an amateur historian. Life didn’t go the way I expected it to go, but I’m pretty happy and just try to enjoy life for what it is. I can’t help my health, it’s been declining over the years and I’ve had to slowly accept that as I’ve become more crippled (rely on a walking cane now, when I’m able to move around), but I’m pretty happy with the life I’ve lead, my achievements, and experiences I’ve had. Now I take photos of historic sites and stones and get driven around to explore places. I know the dude in this story would 100% be judgmental, like the uni I went to wasn’t good enough (university of the Highlands & Islands) as it’s not some super prestigious uni, but I can guarantee I’m happier in life than he is, and I certainly wouldn’t make a mother feel terrible for just being a mother. Maybe her life didn’t go the way she planned, but she’s happy, loves her child and is proud of her child, to me that’s more impressive than some random dude with a stick up his butt.

[@silverflight01]

Story 4: When you break it, you buy it, as RSlash said. You don't break stuff and then try to run from it. That doesn't work in the real world.

[@BeanManolo]

Second story: as someone with a italian grandfather myself I say: yeah, the grandfather totally likes OP for putting his family on their place. To be honest they're luck he's not like my grandfather, because he'd put them on their place himself by making a sailor look like a benedictine nun in comparison; I also hate when people use their heritage as a excuse. For some reason I see americans doing that more (I never act like I'm italian, and I have a friend who's from a lebanese heritage and he doesn't do that either, same for the rest of my family and other people I know with foreign heritage); Also: baseball and football? Italians don't care about baseball at all, and I doubt the football he was referring to was the good ol' one that the Azurra plays. He was acting more like a stereotypical italian, the one Sopranos make jokes about.

[@neffyg35]

I think for Americans the fixation on heritage is very prevalent because most don't really have that homeland connection that people from these regions do. America is a hodgepodge of cultures and people look to their cultural heritage to find some sense of belonging. I say this as a Black American where many her don't even know where our ancestors are truly from due to the slave trade so they lump all of Africa as a whole and hold tightly to that for some kind of ancestral belonging.

[@zacharyjackson1829]

People just want to feel special and have their ego stroked a bit, which makes reality all the more offensive especially when they have to accept they are actually just trashy New Jerseyans (yeah i had to look up what they're actually called)

[@HasufelyArod]

Besides, instead of football, the correct word is "Calcio".

[@virtualatheist]

There's a tiktok series "What's the dumbest thing an American Has Said To You?". One of them was a black lady from Ireland (born and bred) who was told by an American that he was really Irish because his Irish ancestors were Irish, but SHE wasn't really Irish, she was Black Irish. He even came back with a friend (also Irish) who chatted with her, turned out they were from the same town and agreed, "Yeah, she's Irish." Apparently the bloke was furious!

[@ElecticalCheetah]

Story one: basically a missed out bonding experience, but it seems the dad didn’t care , this could’ve strengthened the bond with the steps, but im sure the dad just told his inlaws just me the wife and “ her “ kids feck my daughter because im happier with my new rich inlaws , so op should expect her entitled dad to exclude her more and basically make sure anything she values is taken to her moms because dad will tell his step kids “ whats ops is yours “ and basically tell his daughter “ don’t be so entitled “

[@Grouchbox]

She should stop taking his calls and refusing to visit, then tell him to stop being entitled when he finally gets through to her and starts screaming. If this is typical of how he treats her vs the step kids he has replaced her with she should go no contact as soon as she turns eighteen.

[@xSydneyyRae]

@@Grouchbox who says she’s gotta wait until 18 to go no contact?? I went no contact with my own dad long before I turned 18

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Update to the brush post: I never thought this would get so much attention. I’m still going through the comments but I'm going to clarify a few points and give you an update. **Why Diane brought the brush to her mother’s?** She has a neighbor friend whose hobby is painting. Diane’s friend has a nice brush collection; she took it to show it to her. **Why did she leave the brush at her mother's?** She stays a week with her mother. She has left other valuable things, either sentimental or monetary and nothing has happened, until now. **Why I allowed her to move it around?** It has to do with how my parents raised me. You are the one in charge of your stuff, no one else. You're the one who puts the value in them. That's why I have always let my daughters to do as they want with their things; the same way my parents taught my siblings and I. She understands this kind of brush is not something to just play with; she agrees that she was careless as she wasn’t planning to use it but to start her own collection; the same way her friend and I do. I can’t blame her though; she was comfortable with them and there was no precedent. **The relationship with their stepfamily:** they’re not close but they’re civil. They never clicked but they agreed to respect each other and their things. **How we find out Ana lied?** Simple, when she said she got permission via text, I asked her to show us; my ex and her mother asked for her phone, she could have lied but folded. She said she took it and broke it, but didn’t say why. **The price**: my ex knew the price but not her wife; both knew it was a gift from my parents. My ex-wife decided to play dumb because she didn’t tell her wife about the price. For the doubters, I understand because not many are interested in handwriting or calligraphy; brushes and pens can cost hundreds or even thousands because they are made with limited or rare materials by a craftsman with decades of experience. It is an art in itself; you can google it if you can/want. **The brush**: I need to talk to my parents if they still have the receipt so I can contact the manufacturers and see what can be done. My hopes are slim to none, to say the brush is broken is to put it mildly, it has basically to be remade. **What transpire yesterday.** We returned home and we talked after they calm down. I asked them if I was missing something or if something changed, etc. They said everything was pretty much the same, but Diane and Lily said that they might know the reason why Ana did it. During the week they stayed with her mother, Ana said to all of them that her bf birthday was coming up and she wanted to gift him something especial. She asked my youngest (let’s call her Lily) with everyone present, if she could play the guitar while she sang a song to him and Lily refused; Lily says that Ana took it well and didn’t make a big deal. Then, 2 days before I picked them up, Ana asked Diane if she could make a big poster and Diane refused, but unlike Lily, she offered her to do something small; Diane says that Ana declined her offer and didn’t make a big deal. Why they refused? The bf’s birthday was when they were going to be on a trip with me (last week) and both told Ana about it. I asked them if they knew about the finances of her mother. They said she’s still working, also her wife and definitely not struggling. That’s why both of them are mad at her mother because she or her wife could have paid for the brush, they don’t understand why she acted like that. Knowing this, I asked her what she wanted to do, she listened to my threat and I told her I mean it. I was going to buy the brush and force them to pay me back. She asked me to wait and see what they do in the next days. **What happened today.** I received 2 calls early in the morning, one from ex-wife and the other from Ana’s father asking to meet. The father came first. He said his youngest daughter call him and told him what happened. Him and I talked for a little bit and by the look of it, there are bigger issues. The man apologized to Diane for Ana’s behavior and paid for the brush. The rest came after. Ana apologized first and said why she did it. She took the brush instead of another out of revenge, she tried to use it to do the poster for her bf and because she is not as good as her, she destroyed it in a fit of rage. Once calm, she saw her “mistake” and looked for another one online, she saw how much it cost and decided to buy a cheap one. She never told anyone what she did until Diane returned. Ana’s mother apologized to Diane and also Lily. They both left after that. My wife remained. She apologized to Diane and Lily and said she acted the way she did because this could kill the little to none relationship they have as “sisters” but the result was worse and she regrets it. Diane and Lily told her that everything could be fine if they paid for the brush and apologized right then and there, she could have ended with one upset daughter, she now has 3. They said that now they don’t feel secure there and have no plans to return. My ex-wife said she was going to do anything to solve it and proposed family therapy again, but both of them refused. They said that they could meet somewhere else but at least not for now. They left us alone; we talk mostly about logistics and a few things I wanted to confirm. Lastly, I talked with my daughters again and both still are pretty upset. The relationship with her mother took a major hit and they’re are not happy with how it was resolved and neither do I, alas. We’re going to see my parents in the upcoming days; Diane wants to talk with them about the money before buying another brush. Thank you for taking your time, I tried to cover as much as I could but I will try to answer if you have questions.

[@RaphiEitelberg]

I don't get it.. Does OP's ex wife have a wife AND a husband? Cause in that update you posted and in the story there is mention of exwife and her wife.. Then suddenly appears a father or husband in the update??

[@lake4433]

@@RaphiEitelberg Dude, his ex-wife's wife also has an ex-husband. How tf do you think his ex-wife has a stepdaughter?

[@MClara-ep4sf]

@@RaphiEitelberg they mentioned a father, not a husband, so you can assume the rest from there.

[@RaphiEitelberg]

@@lake4433 People adopt.. Especially when its same sex marriage.. Just sayin. This whole family tree shit's got me confused.. Makes me wonder on the credibility of this story if it's even real

[@sheikahblight]

@@RaphiEitelberg There is nothing confusing about it? It's 2 Lesbian women that are married together. Both have ex husband's that they had kids with. It's incredibly simple.

[@dracko158]

Dad and Grandparents: *Doesn't bring OP with them on the trip* OP: **Is disappointed in them and resents them** Dad and Grandparents: **Surprised Pikachu Face** This is clear cut favoritism, NTA 100%. I don't blame OP for being disappointed in them.

[@a.u.t.057]

they should not be shocked when op cuts contact with them.

[@dracko158]

​@@a.u.t.057 They also shouldn't be shocked that OP goes on a trip by himself and doesn't include the family, the dad should damn well know why OP did it. Maybe op should tell everyone that due to "budgeting issues", he cannot bring them. Really bite them in the butt.

[@a.u.t.057]

@@dracko158 oh that well happen

[@seabass819]

*step-grandparents.

[@spydersoup8447]

One thing I'm pretty convinced about is OP's dad seems to be one of those sexist parents who prefers sons over daughters, which explains why he and OP's mom was split up, and that the family he's married into prefers bonding over 'true flesh and blood' family over step/adopted family. Basically, a family where everyone wins at getting the families they want where the extra family prefers bio family members and the husband prefers having sons over daughters. And clearly they're hiding this from OP by putting on the 'limited budget' act just to get her off their back.

[@notacatwastaken]

I felt that first story My half-brother on my dad's side has diabetes and had a hard year, so he got in contact with Make-A-Wish. At first they were going to send him to Disneyworld, but then the pandemic hit and it had to be paused for a while. Before it had to be put on hold, my stepmom asked me if I wanted to go as well and of course I said yes. It was a dream of mine and I was so happy my brother also got this opportunity. My relationship with my dad is wonky at best, since I've only known him since I was 13-14, due to my mom not wanting me to know him. And it didn't seem like he cares much for me as he had his own little family now. I did adore my half brothers and stepmom. They were super nice. (Small note: I don't live with them) A while later, after a bit of a fight we had over something I didn't say, I found out they went to a famous Dutch theme park instead of Disneyworld due to the limitations of the pandemic. They hadn't told me or asked me, I found out through social media. I never asked them why they didn't invite me, but they gloated about their week there after they returned. I just put on a smile, but cried my eyes out at home. After a while I cut contact, since my dad never sent me a message or even called me to see how I was doing. I felt unwanted and if they want their little family, they can have it. They constantly argue all the time and gossip behind each other's back. Another man is living with them (The father of the youngest, don't ask it's complicated as hell) and i hate him. They promised me a 100 times he would move out at certain dates, but he's still living with them. He always bosses EVERYONE around, even my half brothers who AREN'T his sons.

[@amberlance3221]

The paintbrush story reminds me of my partners friend and her kids. This mother did NOT look after her kids properly (I could tell more stories), she would just show up, dump the 4 kids on me, then spend all her time with my partner. Found out later she was trying to get with him (again another story). I regularly pulled out art supplies for her kids to use, always sitting my personal art supplies away from the kids, still in their container. Before they leave, the little girl proudly shows 'her' drawing to me. It was a drawing a friend of mine had made (who has since passed away). This 12y/o girl had scribbled out his signature and wrote her name. I asked her where she got the picture from, her smile fades, she leads me to my art supplies which were still in the same spot, but clearly rifled through. I open my sketch books and everything was COVERED in scribbles, all the art I had made was destroyed. I walked away because I was going to blow up at these kids. The mother said she would replace everything, too late the damage was done. The next visit she walks in and hands me a single, cheap, A4 scrapbook (something you give to preschoolers who are learning how to write). This was to replace several of my expensive sketchbooks.. and the destroyed artwork. I thanked her.. but seriously.. everytime I think about it, it just makes me f*****g furious.

[@nils920]

Story 1: I look forward to when OP gets married and "forgets" to invite her dad, step-mom, grandparents and step-siblings! NTA Story 2: So it's okay for a family to belittle and bully the boyfriend/girlfriend of one of the family members, but not okay for said boyfriend/girlfriend to stand up for themselves and/or shaming them for their behavior? NTA Story 4: What part of "you break it, you buy it" is so hard for the step-family to understand? NTA Story 5: A better response to Michelle's remark of wishing to have a degree is to tell her it's not too late to send out college applications and offer to help with said applications/provide a starting budget. YTA

[@RiveroftheWither]

Or even just finding an online program with financial assistance. That "it's your own fault for having a kid" attitude is beyond disgusting. At no point did she regret having the kid, she hit a crossroads in life where she had to choose between motherhood or college and chose motherhood. People who make that choice are just as valid and commendable as those that choose a higher education, neither is easy. And that said, anyone is allowed to have a "what if" moment, that doesn't mean you regret your choices or are fishing for sympathy and it certainly doesn't invite some jack🍑 to list out all the ways they think you've f-ed up.

[@RafaAnto]

@@RiveroftheWither To be fair, the last story YTA/NTA classification really depends on how that conversation was worded. I don't think the post goes in enough detail to determine that.

[@gregmiller3523]

@@RafaAnto well as she was the one writing it and from the information she gave, she painted herself as an arsehole fairly well.

[@RiveroftheWither]

@@RafaAnto We saw what he said to her in his own words and I'd imagine he didn't downplay her words to vilify himself. That's all the information we need, he is so confident what he said is right that he didn't even attempt to paint her in a bad light beyond his own verbalized contempt for her choice to have a kid. If there was more to the story that would tip the scales then why would he not include it? Oh but what he did include was her being Latina. Rslash didn't want to say it but I will, mentioning her race was entirely irrelevant unless he was actively trying to make her out to be the racist Latina stereotype of being uneducated, baby popping, welfare abusers.

[@BohemianDeer]

Oh, especially if OP from the first story decides to have a destination wedding to a place that turns out to be one they really wanted to go to.

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

First story: This man's preferences are clear, he loves his new, richer family because he didn't even try to defend OP.

[@windowssonic5953]

"We're gonna tear down your masculinity by making fun of you!" "Alright, I'll tear down *your* masculinity by pointing out that you don't know the language of your ancestors." *"No, this isn't how you're supposed to play the game!"*

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* I hope OP goes no contact with her "father." Who the heck leaves their kid behind on purpose?! OP is NTA. *Second OP:* OP's girlfriend's male family members forgot the Golden Rule of Reddit: Don't mess with the IT Guy! OP is NTA. *Third OP:* LOL, I wish I were a _fraction_ as bold as OP's tenant. I have a low tolerance threshold for extreme temperatures, but come on! OP is NTA. Unless the contract states that OP has to pay for their tenant's accommodations, then OP is TA. *Fourth OP:* Is there a way for Ana or her parents to pay in installments? She or her parents should pay for the damages, but $3000 is a lot of money for a high schooler. Nonetheless, OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* OP said she was stating her opinion, but I can't find the part in the story where Michelle asked for one. Yes, there are online degree programs Michelle could take with her busy schedule, but if she's happy with where she is, then that's fine. OP is TA. I also found it interesting that OP mentioned Michelle's "Latin origins."

[@sophietremblay3795]

Yup that’s a dead beat father

[@Ruchunteur]

For the fifth story, I do agree that OP is TA because how out of touch with reality he is by assuming being a mom is the only variable here.. As if there isn't a billion other reason that can prevent one person to go to college.. But I don't understand your point. "I can't find the part in the story where Michelle asked for one". That's opinion for you, you don't have to be ask for them to give them... You just gave your opinion with this comment right now ! And I did as well. That's just how a conversation goes. The issues isn't that he gave his opinion but that his opinion is an hurtful one for no good reasons. If you opinion is gonna hurt someone then you better be ready to be an ahole if you say it.

[@sophietremblay3795]

@@Ruchunteur i agree some women realize after having their children that man I wish I could have go to college but I chose another path but at least I am happy with what I have he shouldn’t blame his nephew for that neither his sister he is a butt hole

[@maieen2665]

@@Ruchunteur I get your point about us offering our opinions unwarranted. However, one could argue that because OP posted this on AITA, technically, she _is_ asking for other people's opinions (but maybe not on YT, lol). But you're right; my main issue was OP being "brutally honest" toward Michelle.

[@Yumi_Jay]

There is online colleges that might work best for Michelle. I'm currently going to WGU and I manage to squeeze in college on top of work and school. Nevertheless OP is TA.

[@brodericksiz625]

As an Italian 100%, born and still living here, I absolutely lost my shit at the "Italian" family one. Certain Americans calling themselves other nationalities despite knowing precious little about their supposed ancestry will never not be funny to me

[@grootsChannel]

Yeah that shit is kinda weird.

[@gabrielmajere8852]

Last story: the OP is 100% the A hole. There's any number of reasons a person might not be able to go to college, and there's an equal number of reasons not to give the a hard time about it.

[@narutofror]

Paint brush story has an update first the brush was taken on purpose but broken by accident but the step daughter googled it hopping to replace it when realizing how expensive it was she panicked and decided to play dumb. Bio dad of the step daughter learned about the situation and payed for the brush. The daughters now have a rocky relationship with their bio mom because she didn’t stand up for them and apparently it’s not the first time she showed favoritism towards her step children even if she claims this time was 100% only because of financial reasons

[@SailorMya]

Story 3 sounds like their tenant was in the wrong regardless. First she made the decision to stay at a hotel without telling her landlord of these plans and just expects OP to pay up after the fact. I have heard of landlords having to do things like that before but it is usually talked about beforehand and the landlord will help find a place at a descent price. It is like if you cause property damage to someone and promise to fix it well both of you get to get quotes for the price or it could be argued that you could have found them a cheaper option. That alone makes this whole thing wishy washy even if it is in the lease. Another thing is "was what was wrong enough to warrant them needing to stay at a hotel during that time?" probably not... Sorry, to tell you guys this but not having hot water for a few days doesn't make the house unlivable... No water at all would but hot water is such a non issue that when mine went out I tired multiple government agencies to help me get a new one and every single one said it wasn't something they could help with because as long as you have water your "fine"... New heater sure in a heartbeat but the government doesn't care if you have hot water or not...

[@stevenscott2718]

The reason why they don't care about hot water (as long as you've got water) is because worst case scenario you can just use a kettle and flannel wash from the sink

[@SailorMya]

@@stevenscott2718 Exactly my point! I have 4 kids and no one cared for over a year. I boiled water for dishes, washer can run on cold for clothing, and we bathed at my moms but this tenant couldn't handle what 2-3 days? The courts wont care because the basic needs is water not hot water. Thankfully my situation happened quite awhile ago and it is fixed now!

[@TJDious]

Keeping the trip secret was an a-hole thing to do. Treat the kid with some respect and don't let the kid find out on social media. Then don't spout obvious nonsense about not being able financially to support you.

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, NTA: That is straight up favoritism and I honestly wouldn’t blame OP for having a grudge against her dad. Finances can’t be that tight if they was still able to go to Paris. With that edit OP made shows that they are still playing favorites. OP’s dad should’ve done exactly what OP said Second Story, NTA: Another classic case of “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. Sorry OP but they ARE bullying. I honestly would’ve done the same thing as OP honestly 😂. They got exactly what they deserve for shutting them down in the most epic way Third Story, NTA: Lmao what? What made her think she was entitled to OP for paying for the hotel room over something as little as no hot water. Imagine leaving over no hot water. The entitlement is insane. If it is in the lease though then yeah OP is the asshole Fourth Story, NTA: Price doesn’t matter, their daughter took the property, and she broke it. It is the responsibility of the parents of the child or (in this case) the child’s to replace the damaged property Fifth Story, YTA: OP was out of line and rude. OP questioned Michelle’s life for no reason and DID imply that her son caused her to lose all the opportunites she had which is far from true. There are plenty of moms who still went back to school and did get a degree

[@byereality7492]

Last story: op is definitely the asshole. Parenting is more than a full time job, and honestly most colleges only offer the best support right after high school. Sure, I get a lot of FAFSA as a married, older college student, but I still have to pay that back. Not to mention once you've been out of academia for a while, it's hard to get in the swing of things. And so what if she was overly sensitive about it? The fact remains that op deeply insulted her and refused to apologize

[@LunaMane]

The problem isn't that the fiancé was overly sensitive. The issue is that OP was overly opinionated. An opinion about something doesn't always have to be said every time. And for someone with a degree OP was too dense to read the room.

[@toysruskid5074]

I don't know... see, if all she did was minorly complain, I could see it. But know some people who absolutely B****H about how they didn't get a college degree because it's unaffordable and unattainable and only leaves you saddled with massive debt if you aren't rich.... but won't even consider community College where they can attend free due to income. >.< One of our community colleges has on campus childcare. It costs way less than daycare. They also have support and free online tutoring for struggling and older students. She COULD go to college if she tried. She may not get a prestigious degree, but she's fully capable of getting a degree.

[@byereality7492]

@@LunaMane I wasn't trying to imply that the fiancee was overly sensitive, but more that op's response to her reaction solidifies his a-hole status

[@rnelson1415]

I love the story with the Italian family. Those guys crying that he emasculated them is massive cope..it even sounds like the grandfather was on his side

[@TellyKNetic]

For anyone who use the excuse, "Just telling it like it is," or "Just stating an opinion," I'd like to introduce them to a little thing called tact.

[@liammcgill5270]

I'd like to introduce them to kid named finger.

[@Robin93k]

But this whole CHANNEL is literally someone "stating his opinio"n while judging and literally RATING the people from the Stories...

[@YesIlikebananasSo]

@@Robin93k lmao is he doing it to their faces? if you’re comparing your partner’s family mocking you for no reason to asking people to judge you and then getting judged, you’re probably one of the most tactless people around.

[@ZombieSazza]

NTA, your father kept is secret from you, lied to you, excluded you intentionally, your father is showing you that you’re not a priority. It screams “you’re not important to me” vibes. Your father is showing you who he prioritises. He’s telling you that you’re somehow an “entitled brat”, you’re not being entitled, you’re asking WHY you’ve been excluded by your “family”.

[@SherlocksLeftNipple]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[@Nerobyrne]

"family" is the real F-word

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Last story "I don't yet have a fully developed frontal lobe, and the only person who agrees with me is even younger" hopefully OP has enough self awareness to realize that being this oblivious means she needs to reevaluate who she is as a person.

[@austinmaves]

Rslash inferring someone is racist because they used the word "latina" is the same kinda bullshit that stops police from giving accurate descriptions of criminals. Saying the color of someone's skin/their nationality isn't inherently racist unless YOU have a lower opinion of those people. Ridiculous viewpoint

[@sgnibble1]

@@austinmaves nope two different things. There was no need for her to throw that into the story whereas for police they need accurate descriptions. It was like her saying no wonder this person is a loser she comes from a different background

[@auberginebear]

Story 4: NTA; time for someone to learn accountability for their actions and learn not to break other people's stuff.

[@mackenziekarsonovich1073]

My dad was in the navy and all his close friends are vets too. When I brought home my first boyfriend, we were having a cook out of with all my dad biker/military vet buddies. They tried to freak him out and asked “what are your intentions with his daughter?” And my bf, cool as a cucumber just replies “oh dude I’m gay”. Everyone burst out laughing. He was a super funny guy lol

[@Waterpark201]

Last story; as a mother who has finished her college degree. Honestly, you can't say if having a child ruins someone's chances at an education. There are many opportunities for mothers, even single mothers, to get an education. I did my education online and I regret nothing. There could have been many other reasons the mom in the story couldn't go to school when she was younger that didn't include her becoming a mom. Op was being mean and disrespectful and making assumptions about a life that isn't their own.

[@stellathecatlady]

4th story is simple: you break it you pay for it. Making her pay for it isn’t going to “ruin her life”, it’ll make her realize that she has to take responsibility for her own actions. Not making her pay for it would actually hurt her in the long run since she’ll probably learn that she can do anything and not pay for the consequences.

[@VirusAP77]

second story: this kind of people piss me off so much, i'm italian and you can be sure that if an american is saying "My family is italian too" there is a 70% chance that they are using that as an excuse to behave poorly. We are not a-holes :/ it's not cultural wtf. Honestly, 2/5 for all the "italian" guys. The grandpa is amazing tho ahah

[@michellamoureuxm]

That third story. I went over a month without hotwater in the winter, IN CANADA. Still didn't go to a hotel, paid my rent in full. My new landlord was unable to find a plumber as the apartment building was blacklisted due to the previous owner not paying any of them. Legally yea I could have withheld rent, but it doesn't solve the problem, and just pissed off the new landlord.

[@kalifogg6610]

It took my in laws over a month to get their plumper over for a problem with their hot water tank because he was, and probably still is, busy shutting off water to camps and seasonal motels.

[@melanieg760]

The last story has me conflicted lol I was a single person, no dependents, worked two jobs so I could afford books and tuition at Jr college, I was denied financial aid because I worked two jobs; Kmart and Taco Bell. Some of my school mates however received welfare for their children, no jobs and received thousands in financial aid, plus free books and tuition. If she wanted to go to school truly, there are so many programs that could help her. Had OP said that instead of telling her being a single parent killed her education, would have been a different story. I'm still in my feelings for being denied financial aid lol

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Second story: We already heard a spanish-speaking, rude family, the result is the same, NTA.

[@vertanishock7900]

4th story: My God I use to be into real calligraphy too and a single simple wooden brush was $30 -$40 so if that brush had a single jade pice like some fancy ones do then my God what a heart breaking loss, some of these brushes have real gold flakes in the brush stem so I can't really doubt that the $3000 price tag is inaccurate

[@jinxeekatt]

Bro I can’t imagine questioning someone’s life choices while living at home with my mom

[@YuriKaroki19]

ikr maybe when OP gets their own place then they can talk smack to people

[@bribri2925]

In story 1: The secrecy was really crappy , but I do have to question: wouldn’t 0P still be angry if they had told her, and she knew about the trip, and she still couldn’t go? And she already admitted that it wasn’t about the grandparents, and that she was angry at her dad. Whether he told her or not, I believe that she would still be angry either way. it sucks to be the one left out, who didn’t go. Screwed if you do screwed if you don’t kind of thing. I don’t think the dad‘s an idiot for accepting a gift (nor do I think he had to give his spot to his daughter) he’s just a TA for trying to be sneaky about it. And I am of the opinion that just because somebody has a lot of money it doesn’t entitle a person to get what they want: when OP said that the grandparents were loaded and that they could have afforded to pay for her. I don’t think the grandparents are idiots for not paying for OP. OP did sound kind of entitled right there. It’s kind of like asking for someone to take you out and pay for your dinner because they’re loaded. I think OP is a little entitled in this, and yeah I still understand why she’s angry , but I think this is a life lesson about mixed families. (My brothers used to get mad when my dad got me and my sister stuff and they didn’t get anything. But they just had to learn that that was my dad, and this was normal in life. I never got angry when their dad got them stuff)

[@lynneconklin917]

Mixed families can be really hard to navigate. Two of my son’s three stepsons have their bio-dad and family sometimes involved in their lives. The third’s bio-dad has nothing to do with him. Two of the boys occasionally get to spend weekends or school breaks with their dad’s family, even went on vacation to South Carolina once, and they get Christmas and birthday gifts from that family. I started having the third son come spend the night with me, playing video games, watching movies, and eating pizza and snacks - because he never got the same visits as the other 2. Eventually the other two heard about stays at my house and raised a fuss because they never got to stay over here. I moved, so the visits are on hold for now, but it’s hard for kids (even 16yo) to feel left out, even if what they’re wanting was to make up for what they got but the others didn’t. If that makes any sense.

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

If it were JUST the daughter and her two boys, the grandparents not including OP makes sense. Including her father makes it an automatic family vacation that OP has every right to go on paid for by the grandparents. They deserve a higher score for sheer favoritism. Legally she's just as much family as the two bio grandkids.

[@Grouchbox]

Not to her Dad, however. She is of no importance to him.

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Considering my step-grandma, not biologically related, still treated my brother and I like her grandkids, and my aunt who was adopted still treats us like her niece and nephew, I consider all that nonsense.

[@perfectchemistry8291]

Nobody has the right to be paid for.

[@Grouchbox]

@@perfectchemistry8291 And no one has the right to have a relationship with a child they treat like crap.

[@perfectchemistry8291]

@@Grouchbox So not paying for someone when you don't have the money is akin to treating them like crap? One time my mum had to fly back home for a funeral and didn't have the money to take the whole family. Should my brother and father have cut her out of their lives completely because she could only afford to take me and her?

[@Slokoki]

rSlash, seriously? In the third story the roommate, WITHOU COMMUNICATING, went and got a nice hotel and expected OP to cover it. That deserves a score on its own.

[@cookieyouwant]

You didnt fully understand. OP in the 3rd story is the LANDLORD, he informed the tenant that the water heater broke and could only be fixed next monday and the tenant only replied with a 👍.

[@Dragonemperess]

Broken Fude calligraphy brush story is a big ouch to my soul, and not just because of that well deserved price tag. Those particular brushes are works of art in their own right; each one is handmade and can take over a month to make. Bristles are high quality animal hairs, with some animal furs ruining regular brushes for you, like mink and their relatives. I've even heard that some handles can be made of narwhal horn. I love to use one for even a minute, but I'd be too terrified of ruining it.

[@Kruhee]

Same, I don't have anything that nice but I love my very nice watercolor brushes and would be so hurt if someone broke them. Still ... Even if the brush is delicate it's not exactly easy to break a brush. Ruin the hair sure but break? What did she do? Feels so.... Deliberate. If that makes sense.

[@Dragonemperess]

@@Kruhee I've heard this on another channel and yup, it was deliberate. I don't remember the update too much unfortunately, or which channel it was on, Probably Mark Narrations, but XO is another possibility. Edit: Could have also been Lost Genre. Edit 2: It was Mark Narrations, 3 weeks ago.

[@Kruhee]

@@Dragonemperess oh man, that makes sense but it's so heartbreaking. That brush took likely many hours of love and care to make and the material for the hair alone is hard to come by just *poof* gone in an instant because of one bratty girl. 😿😿😿

[@equinoxsolstice1320]

My mom didn't go to college until me and my brother were older and able to be by ourselves. The OP is the last story was being an AH because it sounds like the child is still young and needs to be looked after.

[@ox_why]

Omggg I love the Italian story My mom spent 8 years in Italy after she fled her country because her sister was involved in rebellion politics

[@abcdefghijkl123454]

man, as an italian the tendency of 2nd and 3rd generation immigrants in the us to identify with their ancestry without knowing the language, the culture, or without having even been there baffles me. good job op and kudos to the grandpa

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

(Using the word you generally) More of the American "I'm special" craziness. The only time I ever bring up my heritage is when someone asks me about my skin color or my hair texture. Then it's relevant. The rest of the time it isn't. I don't get it either really & I live here. The things people base their whole personalities/identities on often weirds me out though. Like you're 47, why is your identity still star high school quarterback & prom king? Have you done nothing since? Why are you making a country you know next to nothing about, can't speak the language of & have never been to more of your identity than the one you were born & raised in? Why is a political party your whole personality? Why do you make hating gay people your identity & why do you spend so much of your personality talking about their bedroom activities? (I always get doth protest too much vibes there) Why do you think you're superior if you spend so much of your time checking for those you pretend are somehow inferior based on nothing more than a chemical everyone's body makes? It's all weird. Do you not have personal accomplishments? Family/friends? Hobbies? That's my opinion on the whole thing.

[@mirandanils5114]

Last story - LOL as a college student it is very hard. You don’t just get handed out scholarships and grants, it took me several years in college before I was finally able to grab one. And many parents are college students. Plus it’s none of her business.

[@silverflight01]

Story 5: It's funny that a lot of people will make rash and somewhat negative comments like what OP did and then wonder why people hate them. Like, are they even aware how hurtful the comments are?

[@YuriKaroki19]

nope and half the comments seem to have the same braincells as story 5 OP saying that OP isn't wrong in what they said.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

watch dad be surprised in the future when OP doesn't invite him to her wedding and he finds out over social media and be surprised when she says it was for family only

[@briangarrow448]

First story-OMG! This kid was treated like crap. She was totally justified for her reaction to being left out. What kind of assholes are they? Second story-Great job OP!

[@73dwassell]

First story - my in-laws ( who I am now no contact with took my BIL & his kids to Disney world & told my husband to leave me home with our autistic son because they didn’t want to deal with any autistic episode if he had any & he could go with our twins - he turned them down

[@mercenarychef9465]

Last story, I would definitely give her a higher a-hole rating. Especially since the mother's Latin origins factor greatly in all aspects of this story, not just for the way you inferred. Depending on immigration status at various points in her life, her situations growing up, as well as cultural norms and biases, it's most likely that as she said, she never was given the opportunity to go to college. The fact that OP ignored this, and completely discounted it even when presented with the information, instead choosing to blame the fact that she had a child, speaks even more about the inferences than just the basics you went over.

[@sgnibble1]

Yeah that OP sounds so out of touch and judgmental. Not everyone has the same opportunities and life isn’t always nice/perfect. They sound like someone who grew up privileged and screams about personal responsibility but won’t own up to their own once life hits them hard

[@mercenarychef9465]

@@sgnibble1 exactly

[@thatguysword]

Nah, this whole paragraph is borderline horseshit. My buddy and his wife has 4 kids, hours away from either of their parents, both are doing classes part time while working from home. Scholarships and grants are easy to obtain. Being "latin" has no burden on whether or not they'll get these. You either split the time or don't, she took the time to go to school for hairdressing because that was the easiest within her skillset, they don't just stamp your hand and scream YOU MAY NOW CUT HAIR FOR A LIVING, it's a whole series of courses to earn your cosmetology license. She chose a field with the skills she had at hand and ran with it. My grandmother ran a salon for 45 years, most of the girls who rented and left did so after furthering their schooling with the money they made, whether they had kids or not hardly even made a dent in their career.

[@mercenarychef9465]

@@thatguysword congrats, you managed to completely miss the fucking point of the post. Not everyone had the same opportunities, and of even those that *can* reach out, a lot of them don't know that they can. The American education system is not geared towards the people.

[@sgnibble1]

@@thatguysword so then you agree that the being Latin part was unnecessary info? That came from the OP and got the reaction from you that they wanted to get. Would you have reacted the same if it was say a white lady? To me that was like saying that Latino people can’t amount to much and it was no surprise the lady in the story is in the situation she is because of it. OP is an asshole because they were extremely unhelpful, judgmental and condescending

[@sephthesatanist6558]

I love the grandfather in the Italian story. Bullying isn't "telling it like it is" but shutting bullies down (op) and letting them know when they've made utter fools of themselves (grandpa) is.

[@metademetra]

On the last story, what OP claimed wasn't even accurate. In my uni classes, I've met SEVERAL moms. Hell I've even met a few grandmas. It probably just wasn't the SIL's time to go to college. If you're reading SIL, it's never too late to get a degree, don't let OP tell you otherwise.

[@ohnosmoarlulcatz]

For the last story... In some cultures, familial relationships are prioritized over other things, including your professional career. And ultimately, they are pressured by their family to pick between their career or their family. I'm Chinese and one of my older cousins (45+ M) has had to help take care of his mom (80+ F) ever since his dad died and his mom absolutely guilt trips the hell out of him and he's essentially been forced into a permanent caregiver role until she has passed. The rest of his family is guilt tripping him because they know if he walks out, someone else has to take over. When it all finally blows over, he will likely struggle to find a job due to his gap in employment and he already lost his girlfriend because of it. If brother's fiance has something like this going on but with her own kid, I could understand why. Back to the original post. OP is an ahole for saying the quiet part out loud. But assuming that they are in the US, the brother's fiance could go to college if she really wanted to. The question is whether or not you are willing to make it happen. OP is right that there are plenty of opportunities. The Pell Grant is basically given no questions asked. More is given for single mothers or caretakers. It will definitely be more than enough for a community college anywhere in the country and you might need a bit more if it's for a State College. Some schools will even give an additional grant for single parents or caretakers. Some even offer discounted campus housing for multiple years. University is likely out of the question unless they have good finances.

[@Duncannuva]

Fude are very expesive, Calligrapher writers take great care with them, Diane is not the butthole, Ana is

[@Kruhee]

Yeah, but something tells me it wasn't an accident. The brushes are expensive but they aren't going to break at a touch and while you can kill a brush through mistreatment they didn't say the brush was ruined, the word "broken" conjures images of ripped out hairs or broken ferrules. IDK, I may be wrong but it feels more deliberate. Still, 100% agree Ana needs to pay to replace the brush.

[@Duncannuva]

@@Kruhee oh 100% this was fully intentional, Ana did this with full knowledge it would break

[@zilesis1]

yeah, but i agree with another comment under this video: $3000 is a lot of cash, so OP should consider arranging installments for his ex to pay it off. or heck, make Ana get a job and give up the money she earns until the debt is paid the story doesn't really make it clear if that option was discussed. if not then i can kinda see why the ex isn't willing to pay the whole amount immediately. if it was discussed then the ex is just an AH

[@DarkbutNotsinister]

What do you guys think about the $3000 price tag? I even searched the word “fude”. A set for $3000? Yes. A brush for $300? Sure. Couldn’t find one brush for even half of that.

[@Duncannuva]

@@DarkbutNotsinister it depends on several factors A, Were it's made, Each provice is very different B, If they got an old brush, by that a brush that is several years or such old C, If it's traditionally made, This probably is the most likely D, Someone did the hole "Gaijin stupid so lie to them" Hole act

[@LordBummingtonThe3rd]

First OP should just have a secret wedding if/whenever she gets married, she just couldn't afford that one extra seat.

[@TheMightyRin]

I don't agree with the last story. You can continue your education no matter your age. She chose to have a child and not pursue education so she has no right to whine that she doesn't have better opportunities now in life. She could go back to school, she just didn't want to because she is probably too lazy. 🤷🏻‍♀️ My mom raised me and my sister single-handed without pretty much any support form my sister's and mine father's. She was married twice and divorced twice. She worked extremely hard to put a meal on the table, when she realized that not having a degrees means that she can't get a better job, guess what she decided to do? In her late 30s she went to uni, got a masters degree and found a better paying job. She worked, studied (and she had to pay for her school) and raised two, sometimes difficult, daughters. Alone. She is my hero and a living, walking proof that if you want something, you work for it. And not sit and whine that you don't have better opportunities. What OP said to Michelle was true. It was a harsh truth, but truth nonetheless. Edit. Maybe I should add this. Michelle chose to just have a child and not pursue education, she could chose to have both, she just didn't. OP pointed out that Michelle chose to have a family not an education. My point on the whole story is that you can have both. It can be hard but it's possible.

[@spicy_shumai]

Last story: I swear to god I can't understand why people still don't know how to shut the hell up. You don't get to "state an opinion" on other people's life, body or choices until you're prompted to do so.

[@sophietremblay3795]

Story 1 nta that’s clear that op’s father cares more about his other family than his own daughter op I hope op cut of all contact with her father and his family 0/5 op 5/5 father and step grandparents

[@destinedtogame]

She totally is.

[@sophietremblay3795]

And I am really glad she will

[@debellis859]

The issue I have with the tenant in the hot water story is she got the hotel room without even notifying the landlord but expects him to pay for it. Seriously, how hard is it to send a text "due to the lack of hot water I am requesting you pay for a hotel room for me to stay in until the issue is resolved", as soon as she is notified of the problem instead of blindsiding him with a bill after the fact.

[@reesepalmerton123]

Good morning Rslash listeners!

[@jsaplays33]

Evening

[@huntresskota]

Good morning how are ya?♡

[@evii3216]

3 pm lol

[@Yaksoup98]

Afternoon

[@Handle4712]

Mornin’

[@TJDious]

You break something, you replace it with an item of at least equal value. Period.

[@juliameyer10313]

I feel the first one. My stepgrandparents always treated me and my older sister as second class grandchildren, If even. More the runt they Had to bear because of my dad. Until my Younger sister was Born, I didn't even notice, I Just thought they were grumpy, stingy, strict people. But the second my little sister was there it was Like a punch in the face. Though tbf, my stepmom wasn't any better and that hurt a lot more (being her Former favourite). My dad never did anything against it, He rather defended their actions because my little sister is their Bio child/grandchild. I never Made a difference, seeing my stepmom as an extra parent and my little sister as, well my sister.

[@jessiealexander3515]

Last story: I knew a woman who lived in one of the statistically worst cities in my state, where she raised two children as a young single mother, and STILL managed to earn a college degree (pre-online courses). Becoming a parent has nothing to do with someone’s ability to earn a college degree

[@Raaslen]

Story 2: Gramps is the only male in the family who is an actual man.

[@PyraJya-Luquay]

Story 4: Working artist here! I can vouch that calligraphy pens in general are pricey as I use some for specific line contours in my illustrations. Traditional ones from Japan can range from a few hundred to several thousand dollars, so this isn't a surprise at all. The calligraphy brush in question is likely handmade by a craftsman. It's not something you would use everyday for writing, as opposed to putting away as a keepsake or momento as the brush itself is a work of art. OP definitely needs to sue over this. It's hard to replace this type of pen because of the aforementioned "limited stock."

[@xBluegamerx]

All I said was that she made poor life discissions and ruined her entire life! Why is she sad?(/s)

[@labyrinthgirl17]

As someone who experienced loss of hot water during the winter last year (pilot light went out; had to wait a couple of days before it could be fixed), I'm a little jealous that OP had that same problem, but during the summer lol. But on a more serious note - OP is NTA, at all. When you're renting a place to stay (I've lived in a dorm and an apartment), you're renting that space for the time stated in the contract. So whether you're going home for the holidays and won't be staying in the dorm, or taking a vacation from your apartment, you still have to pay for that time. You don't get reimbursed for time willingly spent away from your rented space and that's exactly what OP's roommate did. Guess they should've discussed this before getting a hotel room and assuming they'd get money for the room from OP. Never assume, always confirm before doing something, otherwise you might find yourself with $250 less than your originally had. Also, if I remember correctly, if you're referring to a guy, it's Latino, but if it's a gal, it's Latina. : D

[@PhonyFox_A]

5:46 OH God they messed with the IT guy...

[@mahikuro5441]

About the second story: As an Italian, I can guarantee that we don't talk to people like that, nor we say these things in front of them. We don't claim them... Only the grandad.

[@BonnieHalfElven]

Last story: OP could have said something encouraging like, "Never say never! Maybe when your child is older and in school, you can go to college then, if you want." But no, he had to be a judgmental AH. Nice catch on the "Latina" thing, too, @r/Slash.

[@jcfreak2007]

The last story has so many more undertones than what was said... 🙄 We literally don't even know how that child came to be. She could have been assaulted, had him with a late husband, or any other number of things that could result in an unwanted pregnancy that you wouldn't tell your boyfriend's family about on your first time meeting them.