r/AmITheA**hole My Surrogate is Trying to Steal My Husband!

[@Doublebarreledsimian]

Most people who claim to be brutally honest, are basically trying to get you to be ok that they're just an AH. Leo is an AH.

[@ShockingPikachu]

Leo is what? By now is 17… next year is an adult… that guy is a sociopath. No empathy, no care for others, no care for the feelings of his step brother who has lost their biological brother and is likely trying to bond with someone else who can be an older brother model to them. They’re only 12 it’s so sad seeing something like that…

[@SailorMya]

Yep, an AH who can't take what he dishes out. He is "brutally honest" but when people are brutally honest with him he throws a tantrum!?

[@BobBlumenfeld]

Paul Simon wrote it long ago; "There's no tenderness beneath your 'honesty'."

[@smapa1185]

Agreed. I'd slap the shit out of Leo (if I were Derek) and he'd be grounded until he turned 18 (if I were his parent) and he'd get NO financial support from me other than paying for therapy for him. Fuck it if I'd never see him again. He has no empathy and hasn't had severe enough punishments for his bad behaviors. It's sad it got to the level it has.

[@philip8498]

Leo is a disney villain in the making. Lets hope derek is a hero in the making who will be able to stand up to him

[@garysakamoto4007]

My youngest, when called out for being rude, said that she was, “just a brutally honest person”. So I was brutally honest with her, which resulted in her crying and saying how mean I was. I then told her if she wants to be brutally honest that was fine, but to expect people to respond back in kind. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it. She got the message and toned her mouthiness down.

[@luckybunny9456]

How old is your youngest?

[@garysakamoto4007]

@@luckybunny9456 She was 15 at that time and finding out how far she could push things before getting into trouble or in this case realizing the “old man” (the brutally honest name she called me, amongst others) really does not put up with teenage BS.

[@quietstorm6553]

Great job parenting! 👍 Way to go showcasing the importance of a father in the raising of children. Keep it up. We have too many awful, cry-babies running around already because they was not taught about respect for others and discipline.

[@Alpha9n7]

@@garysakamoto4007 what did you say to be 'brutally honest' with her?

[@garysakamoto4007]

@@Alpha9n7 Basically called her out for being a self-centered, rude, spoiled brat with an attitude. And I let her know the world does not owe her anything, respect is earned, not given.

[@kangarookidszone]

Listen, lady, you agreed to have a baby for TWO other people, not just the husband. But they really need that contract and they should have gone to an agency.

[@CreativeCreatorCreates]

I can’t fathom doing ANYTHING like this without a contract. Yikes.

[@TheImaggine]

i dont know about you all , but the fact that she has access to the credit card is very suspicious. If you were in need of stuff for the baby you'd talk with the future parents as this is their investment. But using directly their ( his) credit card ? That's extremely suspicious.

[@Nerobyrne]

yup, totally. Even if I did it with my best friend, I'd get a contract. Just so that's clear to the state what's going on. You can't sign a contract after it's all registered, afaik. So, you _have_ to do it beforehand.

[@clowntown3]

@@TheImaggine yeah that is extremely suspicious, I'm wondering if there's something more between the husband and the surrogate

[@Maverick4267]

I cannot believe they did this without a contract if they have text messages to prove that was the agreement and honestly that should be enough this is disgusting if someone tricked someone else into giving away their egg and their baby what a disgusting woman I hope that woman gets it

[@ZeldaStar228]

Leo’s right. His birthday is his right. His party however is a privilege. Actions have consequences, he doesn’t deserve a party when he’s literally mentally torturing his own sibling.

[@TheTrueMichael]

I mean, you're supposed to be reading through the lines, as we say. OP meant the Party.

[@FineHupeline]

In which world is a birthday a "right"? It's a day like every other. If anything, it's a gift to be born.

[@presidentluigi7174]

I love phycological warfare

[@PirateShux]

I think if it as: Birthdays aren't rights they are ways to tell how old you are. However you celebrate it as a right, until you rely on other people preparing it, in which case it is a privelage.

[@callummcgilloway4349]

Leos dad seems to be more concerned with his adopted kids then the one he ditched and left How would you feel

[@Megorium]

That Surrogate ABSOLUTELY is crossing the lines and acting like an entitled brat! I was a Surrogate in 2015. I exclusively communicated with the intended mother. They never gave me a debit/credit card, instead she would buy me the things I craved (mostly tomato soup) and bring the food to my work or home. She took me maternity clothes shopping and practically spoiled me. She was very kind and I never would have dared acted ungrateful for her gifts or fairness. He was always THEIR BABY and I had no interest in naming him or anything like that. I had zero bond with him, even when I birthed him and the doctor placed him on my stomach I turned ghost white and almost puked, But I held it together and kept my mouth shut, because I was not about to ruin the moment for the Intended mother who was crying over her baby laying on my stomach. I did only once put my foot down prior to the birth, I told her I didn't want her husband in the delivery room while I was pushing and to make it fair Mine would wait in the lobby with him. Instead I had my best friend and Her in the room with me when it came time. She was sad her hubby wasn't going to be in the room, but she didn't fuss and respected my request. I just didn't want him seeing my vag. To prove my story, here's our FB page that followed our Journey. facebook.com/Apedersenbellyforacraftbump When we were in the shared Surro-groups we both witness allot of entitled people on both sides and would laugh at how crazy these people acted. One Surrogate was upset that the intended parents wanted no contact after the birth and she felt she had a right to be in the baby's life...no ma'am you do not have that right, they do not have to be your bff's. Yes sometimes (like in my situation) a friendship can blossom, but if you are not prepared for a cut and dry experience, then you should not be a Surrogate. One intended couple tried to get their 6mos. pregnant Surrogate to be in a 3-way relationship with them. They wanted to bond with both her and their baby on an intimate level...fucking weird. One family wouldn't let their Surrogate eat anything that wasn't vegan and had it written in a contract, because they were vegan and didn't want the baby to be born liking meat or dairy products. I met a woman who had birthed 15 kids, 7 of which were hers and the others were all surro-babies and she was proud to be a baby making machine (her words, not mine) and had plans to be a surrogate again the following year. For this Surro I would get a laywer, get a contract made with very specific stipulations, and cut all interactions with hubby, she communicates with intended mother only for the rest of the pregnancy. when that baby is born, cut her off completely. She is not stable. They should have had her pass a psychological evaluation prior to this pregnancy. We had to pass one, I thought they were mandatory...dude...they should be.

[@FriedFreya]

"Kira's parents get 3 out of 5 parents." Ah yes, round up the parents.

[@scpfoundation8376]

Thought I was the only one who caught that.😁

[@JoseRodriguez-qb7qx]

This one made me chuckle in public xD thanks a lot of the awkward stares haha

[@wschn100gaming9]

lol

[@PhoenixInFirestadium]

😂😂

[@Wolfie713]

So, her parents get 3 out of 5 parents? I only got one out of two, how do her parents get three, and from a possibly five? I'm pissed because I got screwed!

[@AlexIs-Yup]

RSlash: “Kira’s parents also get 3/5 parents”. Me: *does the lady doing math meme*

[@Twinklethefox9022]

I thought I misheard that. Glad I wasn't the only one

[@veronejaquel5106]

Saaaame lmao I had a nice chuckle

[@TheBaffelio]

Same that threw me for a second.

[@Xsis_Vorok]

The only way to deal with parents, is with MOAR parents!

[@EagleClipCh]

I had to replay it as well

[@Nerobyrne]

someone: "Oh don't worry we don't need to sign a contract." Me: _literally laughing out loud_ _surprised face_ "Oh, you're serious?"

[@cartoonking1789]

Yeah, always sign a contract.

[@hotarubinariko]

Yeah, huge red flag. Sounds like she wanted to be a mom again but could find a partner and thought this would work. Being clingy with the husband is really bizarre too. Trying to steal her life? But the husband going along with Brittney makes me wonder...

[@ZombieSazza]

@@hotarubinariko well legally she could keep the baby if she wanted to, especially because they’re lacking a contract and she hasn’t signed away parental rights if a surrogate decides to, she can just keep the baby. In law the surrogate is generally seen as the legal mother, because she gave birth, doesn’t matter if the child isn’t her DNA, could be a donated egg and sperm, could be her own egg and donated sperm, doesn’t really matter because she’s legally seen as the child’s mother. OP really needs to make sure legally she’s covered and apply for a parental order before the child is born, to establish legal parenthood to their unborn child, which will massively help them should this need to be taken to court. Bit extreme? Yes. Should they do it anyway because the surrogate is intentionally excluding the mother and is potentially mentally unstable, due to the couple picking someone who literally lost her child? YES. It’s unlikely to happen as this doesn’t happen very often, but the couple literally chose a childless mother who lost her kid, and that will no doubt be creating mental conflict with the surrogate who may feel bonded to the unborn child, and they didn’t bother with a contract like idiots, so legally they really need to cover their asses. May not even have to steal her life or her man, may just steal the kid instead

[@jenniferann7212]

IKR? There were so many red flags in this situation up front I want to give OP 2/5 for missing/ignoring them.

[@Annie_Annie__]

Yup. Everyone involved in this are colossal idiots. No contract *and* they went ahead with one of the worst possible candidates for surrogacy ever? I’m betting this couple did zero actual research in to surrogacy because if they had, they’d know that everyone tells you to *always* get a contract, even if the surrogate is your sister or your best friend of 20 years. And if they’d done research they’d know how horrible of a candidate Brittany is. Who tf goes in to something as serious as surrogacy without doing TONS of research? I went through 3-ish years of infertility and even I did preliminary research in to surrogacy even though we weren’t anywhere near that stage. We were getting ready to do IVF I wanted to look in to all our options incase it failed. How did they get to that stage and not know the basics? They need to get a lawyer, get a contract drawn up, and start paying for Brittany to get therapy.

[@Toaster-draws]

I disagree with the second story. The friend's sister is crossing boundaries. She knowly agreed to giving them a baby, not just the husband. If she was still grieving her kid, maybe she shouldn't have agreed. Also, it's not Op's falut they didn't sign anything, like Op said they're like family. Yeah, Op still should have signed it, but I don't think she deserves a butthole score because of it.

[@zacharyjackson1829]

they arent assholes but boy are they deserving of a 10/10 idiot score. ALWAYS sign legal contracts for anything relatively important for any reason absolutely necessary. Nothing in this world that isnt on paper means jacksquat even when involving family and they were sadly idiots

[@claud3105]

@@zacharyjackson1829 p L

[@harounfarhani2138]

@@claud3105 that is not true at all, verbal agreements are binding as well (as long as there were witnesses) and written contracts are often not necessary. There is such a thing as a handshake deal and they are just as much valid and official as a written contract, just often not as ironclad.

[@CatacombD]

I totally understand not bothering with a contract, though it was a dumb move. Remember that this isn't a random stranger off the street, this is OP's friend's sister, and it was suggested by OP's friend. So apparently, even the surrogate's sister thought that she would be totally fine with giving birth for them, and wasn't expecting the sister to suddenly want to become "mom #2." Surrogate: I will give the her a little bit of slack, because she's currently very pregnant, and pregnancy hormones make some women crazy. But even taking that into account, she is being an entitled butthole, and overall a terrible person. She made a deal with OP, and is now trying to alter it in the 11th hour, and she absolutely is trying to force her way into OP's relationship. Surrogate's Mom: There's two possibilities. She might not know about the agreement, and is honestly trying to advocate for her daughter. Otherwise, she knew about the agreement, and is a piece of shit trying to bilk OP for extra concessions. OP's Friend: (aka surrogate's sister) Oh my god, you're a piece of shit. You're the one who recommended OP use your sister as a surrogate, and now you're throwing OP under the bus when your sister is starting to act crazy, and one-sidedly trying to adjust the terms of the deal. If my sister tried to do this to a family friend, I would be so ashamed of them, and would do my absolute best to try to get them to honor the original deal they made. OP: NTA. I hope surrogate stops being crazy once her hormones go back to normal, but given how surrogate's mom and your "friend" are treating you, I feel like you're up shit creek without a paddle. It was real dumb to not get this all in writing beforehand. It sounds like, worst case scenario, you're going to end up having a step-child, instead of a proper child. (Assuming that Surrogate continues to be crazy, and decides to push for custody)

[@Kakmanmartinez666]

The fact the "friend" told them not to worry about needing legal documents is sus on it's own. She's definitely using them. OP is right to worry and feel the way she does.

[@SuperCleopatrajones]

First story: He destroyed a memento that could never be replaced. Now he know how it feels to lose a moment that never be replaced. Sounds fair.

[@DefectivePieceofChalk]

Not even close. He'll probably have many more birthdays to celebrate. But the kid's brother isn't coming back. Besides, at 16, he could have known better. You don't fuck with a personal memento of a lost friend or family member. That's sadistic to a point where he needs a legitimately harsh lesson. I'd personally start with having him pay something for the kid out of his own pocket and the kid gets to choose, with no restrictions. It can't possibly make up for the sweater, but it would be a start.

[@avatarkalo2802]

@@DefectivePieceofChalk dad is in the wrong. very bad parenting. kid is also in the wrong but its a 16 y/o and they do dumb shit

[@livi_babe4782]

@@avatarkalo2802 dad is in the right.

[@bostonrailfan2427]

it’s only fair if he had something special to him stolen and destroyed

[@larabank8208]

@@avatarkalo2802 idk if you've ever lost someone, and I hope you haven't, and won't for a fact find out how that feels. But I lost almost all of my family. The only one left is my younger brother and that's it. If, for any reason, no matter who it is or how old that person is, destroyed a memento of my family there would be consequences. I would punish a child, appropriate, of course. And taking away a birthday party is, in fact a suitable punishment. It might even not be enough. I would if that was my son go withe to cemeteries and start cleaning the Graves, planting flowers ect, something that might install even some sense of empathy in this kid.

[@Everhardt94]

Last story, the fact that all of their other cousins were completely on board and unapologetic about it is very telling.

[@ontheline3421]

Though it's also kinda telling that they'd go with the flow by default if it wasn't offered by someone else.

[@velvety2006]

I think the family is somewhat ashamed because Nate has a disorder, that's why they allow the bullying.

[@GTSE2005]

@@velvety2006 then that makes the family even worse. I would increase their butthole score to 4/5

[@JKrowlingrockx]

Sometimes, when you have to deal with someone who is an asshole, you will jump at the opportunity to not deal with said asshole. Like yea, it’s a little harsh excluding her and basically rubbing it in her face. But she’s been a butthole for YEARS and she can’t take a single instance of it back? One can only hope she’ll think about how shitty that made her feel, and she’ll finally gain some fucking empathy.

[@WobblesandBean]

@@velvety2006 I'm pretty furious with OP's older family members. They're not only allowing Kira's bullying, but they're punishing these kids for doing absolutely nothing wrong! Frankly, I hope every last one of those kids goes NC with their awful parents/aunts/uncles. Since they clearly all favor Kira, then they can be stuck with her.

[@superluigigamer9184]

I remember an old amithea**hole post where a kid face slapped after something his stepmom did, and she canceled his birthday party for it, and you said something along the lines of “a kid has to do something really bad to get a birthday canceled.” This is it, this is the really bad thing. Absolutely NTA to that parent, not only is that terrible, but the kid is 16! He should’ve known better by 8! He deserves is birthday party canceled

[@michaelm4870]

And the kid in the other story was 13, there's a huge maturity difference in 16 and 13

[@limiv5272]

Whoa, are you saying rSlash videos have continuity? Are we living in the rSlash YT Universe?

[@Koluke]

Also who the fuck cries over a birthday party at 16?

[@whyamihere1563]

Ohhh, I remember that post. That step mother got angy because her teenage stepson did a face palm at her. Doing a 🤦‍♂️ < destroying a momento. Easy math here. ...and that step mother received a Face palm award. 😆

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

@@Koluke I mean, teenagers are going through a very volatile time in their life, puberty and emotions are everywhere. Some people cry a lot easier than others. I'm not condoning what the kid did, honestly, I'm furious at him. But teenagers do think everything is life and death at that age.

[@ZombieSazza]

Leo claims he’s the “brutally honest” type, yet can’t handle folk being “brutally honest” with him, and he’s supported by his mother, who likely hasn’t been told the brutal truth about his actions, and she’s having a go at OP, who’s being considerate and punishing Leo to discipline him, likely because she’s his ex and will support her son in anything he does. He destroyed a precious item, Leo knew exactly how much this hoodie meant, yet went ahead and destroyed it anyway. He’s a disgusting bully, he’s cruel and he’s barely a human being. He isn’t “brutally honest”, he’s just a bully. I hope Leo never feels that kind of pain, where he loses someone close too him, where he owns very few items to remind him of the person he’s lost. Just to have those items destroyed by some malicious bully, which would break his heart further. I don’t have many things from my Grandma but she died when I was 10, I’m from an abusive family and she’s one of the few that wasn’t abusive and actually loved me (both parents abusive in own way but they’ve left me with cPTSD & PTSD, and permanent nerve damage), I have a stuffed dog and a furby, if someone damaged either of those I would be devastated and raging with anger.

[@MizTameRumors]

' I destroyed a sentimental item owned by a grieving child because I'm honest' How does that even work? How is that honesty? It's just being a heartless pos.....Some people are mind-blowing. How does his mother excuse this behavior?! my son's life wouldn't be worth living if he did something this needlessly cruel.

[@aninditachandrakirana7896]

Yeah. Basically "people get mad when you treat them the way they treat you".

[@Maverick4267]

Most narcissist don’t have thick skin contrary to popular belief they’re very petty and if you give them their medicine back they try to act victimized

[@RibbinOpinion]

The whole "I'm just honest/brutally honest" trope is what assholes say to get away with being an asshole without repercussions. "I was just being honest, oh boo hoo, her/his feelings got hurt, oh well!" It's so overplayed and stupid. It's one thing to be honest and quite another to be an all-out prick. Leo is an all out prick, trying to use the whole "honesty" thing to cover up the fact that he is said prick.

[@aliciakozume5928]

I might just be a bitch but i would say if he wanted the part anywhere then his step brother should be able to destroy as much of his stuff as he likes

[@justin2308]

“He had to do it since Derek wears that hoodie everywhere and it looked old and embarrassing.” That wasn’t his call to make, if it was even a call to make at all. Even if the hoodie wasn’t someone’s memento for a loved one (which you shouldn’t even touch without their permission), just destroying someone’s personal belonging like that simply because you don’t like it has got to be the one of most douchebag moves I’ve ever heard. 5/5 buttholes, no question.

[@avatarkalo2802]

u really dont understand what this is all about huh? its about the pos father.

[@ajregalia1334]

@@avatarkalo2802 Okay I'm legitimately curious, how is the father a pos?

[@bostonrailfan2427]

@@ajregalia1334 the guy is a troll

[@MsKeroseneLamp]

"Telling them they can't come back is taking it too far." They literally took food out of a growing baby's mouth and wasted a new young single mother's supply of baby necessities just to satisfy their egos. Sure they replaced it with their crap but it would've been better to just add to what was already there than trashing it. "But we're trying to be environmentally friendly!!!" By being mindlessly wasteful? Okay...

[@pv7875]

These people need to now boundaries and stop forcing the lifestyle onto others.

[@Aaa-oz1vh]

Not for their egos tho. Everyone should stop using disposable products as much as possible. And I mean it, EVERYONE. It's not something you can choose to do or not and not make any impact by deciding whether or not to do it, it's something you SHOULD do. The only wrong thing was that they disposed of the formula, and the use of formula is a choice you can make based on your necessities and/or how your body works after having the baby. I just see a misinformed and not environmentally conscious young mother in that story

[@justin2308]

@@Aaa-oz1vh If you’re willing to commit crimes like theft of property, vandalism/destruction of property, and/or child endangerment for a belief like that (and ultimately feed the fire instead of putting it out), then yeah I’d say ego is a huge part of it. What they did was also hypocritical because they’re just wasting the stuff and disposing of it sooner rather than later. They accomplished absolutely nothing and only fed the problem they claimed to want to solve. In fact, I’d say they made it worse because now they, as we Christians say, “halted the spread of the Gospel”. OP is probably gonna be reminded of their behavior whenever they meet someone who talks about the same belief. I agree that we all need to start being more environmentally friendly, but this was NOT the way to go about it.

[@WinternallyScreaming]

​@@Aaa-oz1vh I agree that disposable products are best avoided whenever possible. I do not agree that someone being 'misinformed' or 'not environmentally conscious' means that they deserve to have another person arbitrarily decide to harm them. When someone has *any* kind of crime committed against them, it's unreasonable to expect them to just ignore the damage done and embrace the belief/excuse for the crime purely on the basis of the motivating belief being touted as 'good'. Theft was committed. Harm was done. Financial harm to a young mother, which in turn risks negatively impacting a growing baby. And the damage to the environment was the same. Worse, even. There was no way they could have disposed of those items any less harmfully before they were used versus disposal after use. The products were already there and stockpiled, and they were needed, and they were wasted, and now that mother needs more than she would've gone through originally, because whether it's environmentally sound or not, she HAS tried the reusable alternative and already decided they don't suit her family's needs, and that's a choice she has the right to make regardless of others' beliefs. So like it or not, these 'environmentally-conscious' peoples crime has generated even more waste, which goes against their excuses and *does* mean that this was about satisfying their own egos, and the victim is probably further entrenched in her decision to keep using those disposable products. Also, just look at their behavior. Those people were chomping at the bit to flee the premises as soon as she got home so they could avoid responsibly and rightfully accepting her reaction upon her finding out what they did. They relied first on subversion and then on hiding behind their supposed environmental conscientiousness as an excuse to try to avoid the completely reasonable consequences of her not wanting them around to risk further harm to her and her baby. Theirs is not the behavior of the conscientious, nor morally-upright. Literally EVERYTHING they did was wrong in both motive and action, and hurt their own cause. Speaking generally, you can care about environmentalism and also choose to not enact your own personal idea of justice on those who make decisions you don't agree with. The two are not mutually exclusive.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

They were just on an ego trip since “disposing” of items she had already bought is wasteful PLUS they left a baby with potentially NO food. That is beyond disgusting and unethical - what happens if she can’t breastfeed or is unable to adequately feed the baby and it’s late at night and she can’t immediately replace it plus it’s extremely expensive. I struggled for 4 months to breastfeed and supplemented with formula or else he would have starved so that decision is a very personal and has many different reasons for it.

[@IceNineThrills]

I have an idea for the first story. DO NOT get rid of that hoodie. Make it into something, like a quilt try to incorporate the pieces into a quilt. Or make a teddy bear out of it! Or you go to build a bear and use the hoodie for the stuffing! There are so many more things to do with it! It being cut up shouldn't have happened in the first place but try and make the best out of the situation...

[@GTSE2005]

Problem is it might upset Derek even more...

[@IceNineThrills]

@@GTSE2005 true...

[@canadaiantenten]

@@GTSE2005 Ask Derek what he would like to see done with the hoodie, see if any of those ideas he likes best

[@jibrijibri4548]

This is a great idea.

[@aqilshadow5451]

The parents are like "Why did u prank Kira even tho she keeps pranking Nate " like bruh the total hypocrisy on that

[@ontheline3421]

And an answer why even Kira is abusing that dude. Cuz she can and is told it's ok.

[@velvety2006]

@@ontheline3421 I think they are ashamed because nate has a disorder.

[@datbadassunicorn2832]

Really.. if my kid did not like someone I would not force them to hang out with them. Also if some little brat was treating my kids like that I’d tell them so and never let them around my kid. In Fact there are some cousins of hers I do that with now. My kid actually behaves and is polite to everyone and that’s the same kinda kids I want around my kid. If not then they are simply not welcome at my house.

[@ontheline3421]

@@velvety2006 nah, then they wouldn't allow to hang out with him so that no one sees their precious daughter "with a retard". It sounds more like a case of "he's faking just for attention", maybe even denying mental health exists and it can be an issue same as broken leg, flu or any "normal" illness. Like the kind to go like "but he has a wife, job and two kids so he can't be depressed" kind of thing here in "we're not some social margin that drink beer behind garages so no way some brute that yells and beats people in our family". Cuz in their mind probably aggression issues are only in form of teen gang followers. Saying from experience with issues involving aggression, panic, traumas, etc.

[@mostar1219]

“You owe me your husband because I agreed to carry your baby” You know they say if the SO sees no problem in it, it means the original relationship is dead, right? I mean, yea, hormones and poor decision making, but the man only expressed concern FOR the woman basically alienating her

[@AtotehZ]

It's true that the guy should've been more of a skeptic. Consider the situation though. He knows Brittany's past and she's carrying the baby him and his wife is supposed to have for a lifetime. He doesn't want to push her. Whether he just didn't care, was actually into Brittany or wasn't careful.. doesn't matter. The result is that it emboldened Brittany in her way of treating OP. However, depending on what his thinking is NOW, OP could be in really hot water, as in lose her husband, child and friend.. Or at least have her husband and possibly child at her side. I don't see a situation where OP and her friend+Brittany has much friendship after this. It would require Brittany to suddenly be A-OK with giving away the child.

[@hotarubinariko]

Kinda makes me wonder if they're having an affair...

[@mostar1219]

@@AtotehZ makes sense. I don’t know much of what to expect from surrogacy, but the fact that the husband saw no issue reminded me of several stories where the “friend” a SO is spending more time around ends up being a side piece and one of the red flags those stories mostly have in common is the cheater seeing no issue. Pretty curious about what others think

[@AtotehZ]

@@mostar1219 We shouldn't dismiss the possibility with the facts were given. It's just not the only possibility. (edited cuz I'm abrasive in my rhetoric -.- )

[@gemrock]

@@hotarubinariko if you go back to the original thread it looks like it.....or worse and op never updated so it's looking like we are missing a huge chunk of the story.

[@mels3958]

Surrogacy story: let’s just pretend for a moment that the husband is innocent and is just playing nice in order to not miss out on his baby. The surrogate is overstepping in a huge way! I understand that she’s lost a child, (which in my opinion means she shouldn’t have agreed to it) but she understood going in that this is NOT her child. And we can’t blame hormones because she started this the moment she found out she was pregnant. She purposefully excluded OP right from the start. (I did IVF, so I understand the hormones, stress and pain) and I’m sorry, but having a deceased child does NOT give her a pass. When OP said that her friend suggested her sister, I knew it was a bad choice immediately (don’t involve people you know in these kind of things) especially since she’s shown her crazy, she is definitely going to try and get some custody. OP has one hope with this case, if her egg was used to create this child, then her claim of her child is stronger. I don’t think OP is the butthole, this has been happening for 7 months and she has been extremely patient. I would have gone off looong before then. She needs to contact a lawyer and have a strong discussion with her husband. (Assuming he’s innocent) it’s past the time to lay down the law. And who the F gives this woman free access to a credit card???!!!

[@JohnDlugosz]

I think the biological mother (the wife) got the hormones for egg harvesting, not the surrogate.

[@mels3958]

@@JohnDlugosz I’m hoping so too.

[@mels3958]

@M P that’s what I was thinking too. And I can’t blame him, but at the same time it’s not cool. He’s in a hard place.

[@Ghost1170]

@@mels3958 Lol, how can you even think the husband is being a dick or close to one? Did you forget the husband had no clue what was going on in terms of what's normal in this situation? Least, thats what the redditor mentioned when britney was going crazy from hormones.. Prob. Just a real shit situation honestly. Britney bein a bitch and the husband and wife being dumb enough to rely on trust on something as complicated as the surrogacy. Although, I can appreciate you looking at all options. Sorry if I come off aggressive. I tend to do that without trying to.

[@mels3958]

@@Ghost1170 to be honest, I think the husband is innocent, he just seems to be stuck in a really bad place. The only reason why I think he’s a bit of a dick is that going to doctor appointments and ultrasounds without his wife (aka the actual mother) is a bit of a no brainer. If my husband did that to me, you can bet that I’ll be giving him an earful. Also it’s cool, I come off aggressive too. Lol

[@TristanSykes1994]

I partially disagree with the everybody being a butthole in the surrogacy story. OP wanted a contract, but was repeatedly turned down as not necessary. Outside of agreeing to that, finding a surrogate is difficult as you have to trust that person to carry your child and behave responsibly for the child's interests. A family member is the closest you can get to that. Secondly, I disagree with Rslash about the surrogate *losing another child* it was never her child in the first place, has no direct link to her, and is heavily implied by being a *surrogate* that she knew she would be giving up the child after it was born. There is no connection with her for her to make demands like that, exclude OP out of the pregnancy, impose her own want and desires over the child or for more money beyond what is required to maintain herself and the child. The surrogate is abusing the trust placed in her to effectively hijack the pregnancy and blackmail money out of OP, and that could get messy if that ended up going to court as she could then be made to justify her expenditure which would backfire massively.

[@calisparks3145]

I agree with you. There’s also the issue of since there’s no contract she could try to keep the baby.

[@TristanSykes1994]

@@calisparks3145 that's why a legal battle would be messy. OP would have all the legal receipts of the procedure and a DNA test would prove paternity, however this would still be messy as this relies on the surrogate being cooperative. And again, if she isn't, wouldn't that mean that the money she has taken from the account would be theft or fraud.

[@mech0p]

Yea, im sorry to say but even though shes carrying the child for someone else in the end its still hers especially with no contract. It has her DNA, will have her features, and she will be the one birthing it and no matter what anyone says first time surrogates are always going to have a strong connection with that child. Why do you think she wants access to it? Also with no contract they may be shit out of luck but she probably would have to pay back the money but in the long term she could easily get it back by collecting child support unless the father somehow won custody. Things like I mentioned are why contracts are 100% necessariy in cases like this because she could easily back out and nothing could be done outside of a custody battle which the father would most likely lose.

[@KyrenTheGoat]

@@mech0p well it depends whos egg it is tho??

[@mech0p]

@@KyrenTheGoat this is very true.

[@GTSE2005]

The first story is so tragic, Leo is a real scumbag for destroying Derek's precious memento that was to memorialise his brother. Emotionally bullying your step sibling is one thing, but bullying someone who is grieving his deceased brother? 5/5 buttholes imo, being young is no excuse. (Not trying to say I disagree with rSlash though) Edit: Oh hey that's my first comment with over 1k likes

[@GTSE2005]

@Idris Sisoho Sounds like a red flag to me. Edit: I mean the wife's behaviour

[@aaroncousins4750]

16 isnt even that young

[@bigtouk3542]

@@aaroncousins4750 true

[@jajangmasduki6017]

@@aaroncousins4750 he's old enough to think double before do SMTH

[@clowntown3]

@@aaroncousins4750 hell he'll be 18 in a year, at that age he needs to start taking responsibility for his actions and suffer the consequences

[@squidsofty8507]

I usually don’t comment, but I actually laughed a little when Leo said that his Bday party is a RIGHT😂😂 edit: My bad I actually have 33 comments on this channel I guess I didn’t remember commenting a lot lol, also thanks for the likes😄

[@jennix8666]

Right. I'd have said "Oh it'll still be your birthday but there won't be a party because of your behavior."

[@Nerobyrne]

@@jennix8666 I'd have said "ok, but you attending isn't" Why deny other people a party just because he's being a douche ^.^

[@mrjnuts1]

I so expect we will see Leo on r/entitledkids

[@Twinklethefox9022]

My family is like that

[@peggystarr4757]

Sounds like a lot of entitled kids today. This guy did good buy canceling the party.

[@kasuihikari]

The disposable baby supplies vs. reusable story: The formula alone could be enough for small claims court. Eight tubs of the formula are nearly $300 dollars, I'm not sure how much it is in pounds but I'm sure it's comparable.

[@velvety2006]

not to mention that the infant has a condition where it is necessary to have it.

[@shadowpuppet8192]

Or she doesn't produce enough to sustain her baby. Doctors and moms alike say the same thing when it comes to feeding. *FED* 👏 *IS* 👏 *BEST* 👏

[@the_rachel_sam]

@@velvety2006 well the mother has the condition, since she isn’t able to produce enough milk (surprisingly common, though) and by removing the critical supply of formula, that couple essentially endangered a child.

[@HidForHG]

@@the_rachel_sam they should never have even done a freaking thing to OTHER PEOPLES STUFF. Then again if these ah’s had the briefest flicker of compassion or empathy they would be such would they. Op is completely right to ban those sanctimonious ah’s. If THEY are ok with dumping stuff and clearly KNOW they shouldn’t, see the running out the door. Then op should go over and dump THEIR stuff. To compensate! Yaya an eye for an eye makes the world blind but when someone TAKES your eye first is it not justice to take both of theirs in retribution. Dont take/destroy what YOU don’t want coming back onto yourself.

[@the_rachel_sam]

@@HidForHG oh no I absolutely agree with you. I was just clarifying it wasn’t the child that had a problem with breastfeeding.

[@ronrolfsen3977]

The last one. The OP's parents get a solid 5 out of 5. They seem to care more about their reputation than their sons' mental health being.

[@GTSE2005]

Someone actually said it is possible the parents are ashamed of Nate's disorder. If that is true then I absolutely agree with you.

[@SnailMaster]

Yep. The parents are scumbags. OP protecting his brother from a bully is far more mature than how those parents acted. Hopefully, they'll soon realize what total idiots they are when their kids go no contact with them.

[@genderqueermercury]

First story; op is a great stepdad. I feel so bad for Derrick…who DOES that to a child?!

[@urganp2798]

What's really mind blowing is how he puts so much more effort into his step son than he does his own son

[@namikat6068]

@@urganp2798 how? The dad literally made his son HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH his friends. Is that not effort? And how is the dad putting more effort to his step son? I think he’s putting the same effort. You must be Leo in the video lmao.

[@AshleyNicole-ct7gh]

@@urganp2798 how did you come to that conclusion?

[@avatarkalo2802]

@@namikat6068 he's right he is neglecting his ACTUAL son and paying more attention to a kid thats not his

[@bostonrailfan2427]

@@avatarkalo2802 troll

[@forestcrow5491]

Bro the one with the baby supplies being thrown out- if sil and brother are sooo big on reusable, sustainable products then why the HELL did they think just tossing mass quantities of unused baby supplies is good for the enviorment?? Like sure in the long run if they did convince op to use reusable wipes and dippers its overall less wasteful, but what if op wanted to use up the rest of her supply before switching over? Or what if you donated those things to a family that needs them? It's literally SO wasteful to just throw things out because they're "not environmentally friendly" god

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

Reminds me of the vegetarian kid from the other story that turned off the freezer so all the venison rotted. You're not making a point, you're wasting supplies.

[@arabesquewhyisthistakennow]

i think it's much about baby's health rather than environment..all of my kids are using non reusables when they were babies, but sometimes, they'd get rash and when they did, we'd use cloth since it's adjustable still, enforcing someone about your ideals is wrong, and we've improved so much in health than decades ago that we now know, such old ways just isnt enough anymore

[@marycook9007]

I KNOW RIGHT!!! This was literally all I could think about for the rest of the video because it made me so angry. I am so glad I'm not the only one who thought about that. I eventually figured that maybe they're the anti-chemical/health nut kind of crunchy rather than sustainability crunchy, but still. I know sustainability looks different for everyone, but throwing out perfectly good stuff because you don't like it isn't sustainable for anyone.

[@marycook9007]

@@JadeAnnabelArt Coming from someone who is a vegetarian, you are absolutely right. The animal is already dead, not only is it wasteful to not eat the meat at that point, but now the animal died for no reason.

[@JKrowlingrockx]

Absolutely true. Frankly that shows it’s not about that for them, it’s about showing people “no, this is the RIGHT way to do things, and I have to FORCE you to see how I’m right.” Like…no, all you did was be an asshole and throw away alot of expensive supplies for a freaking newborn. Bet money they didn’t even “replace” the supplies they threw away with the same amount of supplies. Like “oh they had 8 things of formula? Trash, 2 bags of breast milk is plenty.” Like what? Asking for compensation is fair in that scenario, you literally wasted OP’s money because you wanted to make some stupid statement.

[@grimsley9989]

That last story, loved it to bits. Also on the last story: “Kira’s parents also get 3/5 parents” 😂

[@rainfallen7574]

I cackled, don't think he caught that slip up at all

[@Darksin757Production]

Lol I just heard that. He might inwardly cringe a bit later.

[@weambmstse]

Was looking for this comment

[@veetreesharik8176]

@@weambmstse Same

[@cultiumera]

here's my "conspiricy therory" he did that on purpose so many pople would talk about it in the comments thus boosting it in the algo

[@ernestlemmingway1124]

First Story: Leo is an absolute monster for what he did. He deserves more than simply not having a birthday party. Last Story: Kira, her parents, and OP's parents are definitely the AHs here. As an aspie I have several issues (that's what a "syndrome" is) and people who go out of their way to trigger something _are_ bullies. Bullies I had to deal with from preschool to HS graduation. So I'd have given her 4/5 AHs simply because of my history with such.

[@1musamune]

I agree with my fellow aspie here while I was never bullied for it I am fully aware there are those that are. I would give Kira 4/5 for her deliberate targeting of Nate for his diability, all parents involved also get 4/5 for enabling Kira's blatant harrassment/borderline hate crime.

[@whitneybennett5076]

@@1musamune I have Asperger's too. I hate thinking of it as being autistic because most people seem to have ideals and stereotypes of what people with autism act like. But I wasn't even aware that I had a mental disorder until a month before I turned fifteen and I'd never even heard of Asperger's until then. I've had people make fun of me a few times for 'talking too slow' but I think that's more of a 'me' problem than an 'aspie' one. But yeah people who intentionally set off someone who they know has some sort of disorder is definitely a bully.

[@WhoopsyDaisyDoo]

At least missing a sweet 16 is kind of a bigger deal.

[@gh0zt.b0y]

@@whitneybennett5076 hi hi, autistic person here. autism and aspergers is the same thing. Hans Asperger, the guy who named it, was a n4zi who gassed autistic children and sent them to labor camps, so we don't really use the term anymore

[@Themrfaceboy]

speaking from experience, a "tub" of formula, assuming she buys the largest, is around $15-25 depending if its the sensitivity kind or not, and brand. 8 tubs is $120-200. On top of i'm guessing she had a lot of diapers and wipes stocked up, also costing like $40 for a box that lasts like 2 weeks, so probably a good $500+ worth of products stolen. Could easily be taken to small claims court

[@softqueensaru]

Seriously. Formula and diapers are NOT cheap. Also, there's nothing wrong with choosing to breastfeed or use sustainable items if that's what works for you, but you don't get to make those decisions for anyone else.

[@sadpotato3386]

I absolutely love how OP stood up and did something to make her brother, Nate's, life more enjoyable and prevent him from having an episode and being triggered. With the way that IED sounds, I imagine the poor young man suffers terrible regret and feels like he's better off not being around when really it's just Kira that should be excluded for being an AH

[@memeking7273]

Honestly give how EVERYONE that's not an adult look at Kira they will probably be happy to either cut contact with her or pretend she died at birth/when she started being an AH

[@guitarbass22]

The surrogacy one is a freaking mess…the OP is 1000% justified in her feelings and her husband should have her back on all of the issues, but it’s really hard to enforce anything without a tangible contract. There’s a reason why laws like the Statute of Frauds exist…everything should be in writing, signed, and notarized with witnesses. Also, if this girl had lost her teenage mistake child a few years prior to an accident (we don’t know if she caused it or what, so we’d need further backstory on that), then why would she agree to the surrogacy? This sounds like it was orchestrated from the very beginning of the process by her so she could end up having the OP and her husband pay for this pregnancy, then she would keep the baby and goad the husband into leaving his wife (the OP) to help raise his kid. So while the whole room gets a solid 2/5 for the whole situation, the surrogate gets 3.5-4/5 from me for her obvious intent on destroying this family.

[@stormwright8300]

I think Brittany's family also should get 2/5 for willingly offering up Brittany despite her past and manipulating them into not signing a contract. I don't think OP is a butthole here, she's trying to stand up to this woman who obviously has some mental issues and is just trying to keep her family together. TBH, I think she needs to gather any evidence she has of this agreement (text messages, bank statements, doctor notes, something) and take her to court to try to minimize the chance that Brittany tries to take the baby and her husband. And maybe get her declared an unfit mother to this child and advocate for her being placed in therapy. Because she needs it. It sounds cruel but if she waits too long, it may already be too late

[@DaniS398]

Teenage mistake child? Wow. That's kind of gross of youvto stay. Regardless of how old she was when she had hervbaby. Her child died and she is grieving. She should not have been a surrogate.

[@DaniS398]

The baby is not her baby. Surrogacy uses mom and dads egg ans sperm. Thevsurrogate just carries and has no legal right to the baby. If the hubs left the bio mom, bio mom would still get primary custody and dad and step mom visitation.

[@christianforsstrom2222]

Last story: Me: they're gonna ditch the IED kid aren't they... Kira: let me introduce my self! Me: ooooohh

[@ccatsma]

That was my thoughts when I heard the title, but I'm so glad that they defended the IED lad rather than punish him for something out of his control

[@Greill]

Surrogacy story: OP messed up by not making a contract. That's it. It's not their fault that the surrogate tried to change the terms of the agreement later, especially in such a creepy way. If there are issues of mental illness related to the previous loss of a child, the surrogate is not an AH. Depending on how the husband was reacting (i.e. how was he reacting to his partner being excluded so consistently), he may or may not be a Lvl 1 AH. Kira story: Further evidence that "pranks" are always a red flag in these stories. Don't "prank" unless everyone can walk away laughing, even the person being pranked.

[@JKrowlingrockx]

Hate pranks with a passion. Seriously hate when something is called a prank to justify asshole behavior. A “prank” is like whoopie cushions and shit. A prank is not emotional abuse, it’s not bullying, it’s not a PATTERN of behavior specifically meant to mess with someone or embarrass them. Please can we all stop saying “pranks” and think that allows us to get away with murder?

[@ginathecookie]

@@JKrowlingrockx Agreed

[@ginathecookie]

I've been pranked with sexual/romantic harrassment many times (as in many guys find it fun to pretend it) and with force shipping me with others after I asked them to stop. Pranks should not be emotional baggage but something even the pranked doesn't mind too much.

[@Estarile]

Sadly, a written contract may not be of any help. Judges do not want to at all, even incidentally ok the practice of baby buying, and surrogate contracts get regularly thrown out in court - if the local government will enforce them at all. If its OP's egg, that might make it easier for her and hubby, but usually if a surrogate decides to keep the kid, there isn't much you can legally do about it.

[@meraki8974]

The OP messed up by choosing a surrogate that has lost a child, and her only child for that matter. This is unethical on so many levels. Not only are they putting the mental health of the surrogate at risk for their desire to have a baby, if there are complications with the pregnancy the surrogate might never be able to carry her own child. OP and her husband are somewhat an AH because they have put their needs above health of another.

[@Toongeek45]

I really love the brother in The Last Story! He knows he has a problem and is trying to fight it! Not only that, she's figured out one of the sources of his problem and was willing to work with everyone to fix it! That is a sign of really great emotional intelligence! I have a cousin who has IED, and he grew into a wonderful person who got complete control of his outbursts and is now a math teacher with a great wife! And I'm very proud of him! I have no doubt that this guy will be the same! Especially since he has wonderful cousins!

[@kemarisite]

My experience with "brutal honesty" is that it's generally just an excuse to be brutal. Even if the older brother was riding a donor-cycle.

[@stephenarts1422]

The first story: There was once a video on rslash where a mom canceled her sons birthday because he facepalmed her. That mother should pay close attention to this story, because the kid actually did something that was worth doing it.

[@ThatGuySarabia]

I remember that story.

[@disneydork100]

Glad I’m not the only one who immediately thought of that story!

[@SLYKM]

What do you mean "facepalmed" like he clapped his own face or he clapped her face?

[@thewielder3445]

@@SLYKM Clapped his own face and the Step mum tried to cancel his party for 'disrespecting her.' Thankfully the kids grandparents had none of that bullshit

[@SLYKM]

@@thewielder3445 ah okay thanks for the clarifying info lol

[@QueenBeeNova]

I have IED as well and Kira is an awful person, having episodes makes me depressed and deeply upset. She didn't deserve to go because of her actions, love to OP's brother

[@N0xiety]

I have found pain is a good suppressor. Like punching your own leg a few times, gets you out of it quick when you can focus on something else like pain and doesn't really leave much damage, at worst a bruise. Well, it sure beats punching through a door, at least my knuckles skin doesn't get split in multiple locations and bleed everywhere eh? Yeaaaa, that was a bad one...

[@QueenBeeNova]

@@N0xiety I actually take my thoughts out on drawing and expressing myself in a non harmful way for everyone. I hope you find a more healthier way soon :{,,,

[@DeathProductions200]

I don't have IED but I struggle to regulate my emotions in some way, and hell some of my friends walk on egg shells because I have some really dumb triggers that normal things they would do they can't for me (thanks ptsd). Kira is a garbage human being for messing with someone knowing that it can trigger an outburst of any type. I hope the best for you!! And don't worry about my friends I am doing a lot better now!!

[@the_rachel_sam]

@@N0xiety maybe you should take up judo or the drums… impact related, but way less destructive to yourself. It can be something to occupy you, as well.

[@MLWJ1993]

@@QueenBeeNova That sounds like an awesome way to handle your condition. I'm impressed 👍🏻

[@nathanmcbow158]

IED is no joke. I have seen what some people who fail to control it would do. This Kira person is a 5th rate tool and she should be lucky Nate is doing so well. I have heard of some IED sufferers who go to extreme lengths to silence the emotions, homicide is not uncommon. A reality check in the form of ditching her is honestly the best case scenario, continue to push someones buttons and they will retaliate at some point. Even more so if they have difficulty to control it.

[@EpitomeTTV]

Improvised Explosive Device?

[@jessicaludemann9673]

@@MalloriaAnn I think I misunderstood something in the story, did they say somewhere that the family is walking on eggshells with the boy? I'm not trying to come across as rude, so my apologies if I am, I'm just genuinely confused and want to better understand your comment.

[@AliceIsSleepy]

@@MalloriaAnn Bro, OP only said they walked around eggshells around the time he was diagnosed, and it's obvious why : If they have no idea what is something that might make him especially angry, it's best to be cautious. They said that it stopped afterwards. Not Outright bullying and constant pranking someone with explosive outbursts of anger isn't "walking on eggshells". It's not even being cautious. It's literally just being a decent human being. If someone has PTSD and you go out of your way to remember them of what caused it, you're wrong. If someone has a problem with loud noises or bright lights and you specifically try to scream in their ears or shine a flashlight in their face you're wrong. What Kira did wasn't "not walking on eggshels", it was bullying. Yes, if Nate messes up he's still responsible for it, but so is Kira. If you keep offering drugs to a recovering drug addict, you are *also* at fault when they do something because of it. Yes, Nate would be at fault, but not wholly. It's not simply a matter of willpower, you know it all to well if you have a disorder with similar symptoms. You get 1,5/5 buttholess.

[@AliceIsSleepy]

@@MalloriaAnn So fun to assume shit about others after you said not to assume. You don't know anything about me either. The commenter didn't say to walk on eggshells either, as again, not bullying and not specifically pushing someone's buttons isn't walking on eggshells. People with IED do have fault if they do something wrong, yes, but they are also much, much more likely to do something like this because of their disorder. Does this mean you have to walk around eggshells and avoid them at all costs? No. Does this mean that you're lucky if they never even punch you in the face for constant bullying? Yes. It would still be his fault if he went overboard, but again, it's simply common sense. If you walk into a paranoid veteran's house unannounced in the middle of the night and you get shot, is it the veteran's fault? Yes. We're you an absolute idiot? Also yes. I get it, you know that they aren't excused for their mistakes, and kudos for learning that while having something similar. Doesn't mean that anyone who intentionally goes out of their way to make you as angry as possible *knowing* you have explosive anger episodes isn't a class A dumbass and asshole.

[@ginathecookie]

I have maniac depression and agreed. I don't get a pass for being a butt, so other people shouldn't either. ESPECIALLY if it can cause a bad reaction and they're intentionally doing it to pick on someone to get said reaction. Just. It's not funny or fun to bully someone who can't control themselves but try to. The cousin is lucky Nate hasn't done anything yet, even to himself.

[@RandomElement]

First story: Leo would have been too busy picking up his teeth to complain about a cancelled birthday if I was in OP's shoes.

[@InsertCreativeusername_]

The perfect response to the Kira story is to say "It's just a harmless prank" And I'm also curious on what the movie was

[@unrealyano4529]

That’s like pooring someone’s ashes down the toilet and saying oh maybe they’ll move on and they’re dead so they won’t care. Some people don’t get the meaning of sentimental value.

[@YourXavier]

And some people get it, but use that understanding to figure out how to hurt you the most. I mean, are we supposed to believe that a sixteen year old boy actually gives a crap about what hoodie his twelve year old stepbrother is wearing? Bullshit. He knew.

[@dracko158]

Leo: "It was my friend's idea, I had to do it!" Me: *"Oh, so if your friend freaking killed someone, would you do it too?"*

[@kenyettaready]

Leo: Yes

[@johnnyhuntrero6870]

@@kenyettaready Me: So, if his friend lights himself on fire, would he do it Lol?

[@jemimahkendall6579]

A kid down the street does this to my son, his half brother started going to the same school and bullies my son and gets his brother to join in and when this kid turns up at our house to play and I ask him why he joins his half brother in bullying my son he says his brother makes him do it

[@Sanodi21]

In regards to the first story? I think I can see why there was a divorce and I think I can also see where Leo might've gotten his attitude from. OP is a solid 0/5 and yeah, should've punished Leo further. But the idea of taking away his right/privilege to a birthday party is a good start and OP should stand fully firm on that.

[@smapa1185]

Agreed. Leo should be cut off financially after 18, no parents paying for a cell phone and he's grounded until 18. The only thing they should pay for Leo is therapy for him to get over his obvious issues and learn some damn empathy. Fuck that kid.

[@SoftKid123]

@@smapa1185 While I'm not one who'd support parents who cut off all financial aid for their kids at 18, Leo is an exception

[@reddiamond6524]

The first story reminded me of the story where OPs stepsister destroyed her dead dad's father's day gift. Op in this story was doing what the insecure stepdad should have been doing. Supporting his stepkid's loss.

[@KimAlexisG]

Did anyone else kind of whoop and punch the air at the last story? I am so with rSlash on this one - standing up to a bully: two massive thumbs up! That was such a satisfying story.

[@lucianomialu9079]

IMO, the story about the surrogacy, the lady who had the child die- it was her fault for choosing to do that surrogacy. it was HER FAULT. she could’ve said Idk, NO. that she was still grieving.

[@banderas1879]

its tough because its not a simple problem. Its like if someone is dying and a person saves them but ends up unintentionally causing permanent damage. like yes it is their fault but they're not really wrong for it.

[@lucianomialu9079]

@@banderas1879 i guess, but still. lady made her own decision in that regard, and i don’t hold sympathy. she knew exactly what she was signing up for, and adding onto that, being all clingy with the husband was fucking weird and gross.

[@clowntown3]

Exactly, some of them are acting like she didn't do this willingly, it's awful that she lost her child, but she shouldn't have done this if she knew she wouldn't have as much time with the baby

[@RiveroftheWither]

It's still absolutely vital that when you do surrogacy that you have a fully notarized contract with outside witnesses for both parties. Op was dumb as hell for not insisting that and dumb as hell for picking someone who lost a child. Newsflash, trauma isn't surface level and you must be pretty damn privileged if you think it is. A LOT of people go through life not fully realizing a past tragedy has traumatized them until they walking through a mall, a loud sound triggers a memory and then they are on the ground having a major panic attack. The friend might have THOUGHT she would be fine but then once she took to the pregnancy the trauma of her loss started messing with her. And the icing on the cake is that because there is no contract or witness reports that friend is well within her legal rights to keep the baby. Because op made a seriously stupid choice choosing someone with potential trauma and not making legal documents or even f-ing recording the conversations. That woman can literally turn around, say she's keeping the baby and walk away and no one would be able to do a damn thing. Even worse, after the baby is born, she can get a DNA test done to prove ops husband is the father at that would be all the legal documentation she would need to sue them for.child support. Op f-ed up BIG TIME.

[@RiveroftheWither]

@D L Trauma isn't surface level, most people don't realize when they have experienced trauma until something triggers it.

[@ghost_girl7802]

why tf would you not write a contract ? she can just take the child away and demand child support !

[@brec1589]

And that's exactly what she's going to do. She wanted a baby but didn't want to do it by herself. That's why she wanted access to credit cards and such. She wanted to get everything she needed on someone else's dime.

[@LycanLyres]

"Kira's parents get three out of five parents" was I the only one who noticed this lmao

[@CyanideSun94]

The comment I was looking for! you where not the only one xD

[@alfa1134]

I heard it, too. Was worried that I was going nuts for a while.

[@PrinnyKiller]

Nah I was just about to say that 😂

[@Donny2200]

Before I watch this, was it the second story?

[@zeldamarkedlink]

No. I noticed it too, I even had to backtrack a little bit to make sure I heard him correctly.

[@AmusementLabs]

The baby products: Not only is it stealing, but she's essentially forcing her beliefs on you and making decisions without your consent for YOUR baby. Not okay, take her to small claims, she needs a wake up call that she can't go around forcing people to do what she believes. Plus the fact that they left so quickly indicates she 100% know what she did was wrong and would upset you and is trying to evade accountability. Get her and get her good.

[@Night-Wolf]

I'm a father to a soon-to-be 9-month old girl, and I was absolutely appalled by what OP's sister-in-law did! 8 tubs of formular straight into the trash!? OP may not have stated the size of the tubs or the brand, but I can guarantee that they were not cheap! And don't get me started on the diapers!

[@CroobieLetter]

Last story: where they messed up is that they waited for cousin Kira to arrive only to bolt. They should have gone home and enjoy sweet plausible deniability.

[@makaylaedits7996]

I know right, but maybe they wanted the cousin to know it was on purpose.

[@FelipeGonzalezHerrera]

Nope, she completely deserved to taste her cousins resentment for her asshat behaviour

[@ohnooffwego]

It was also pointlessly cruel and an ineffective way to confront the actual problem. This is one of those stories that I'd love to hear the other perspectives.

[@Mack.Flurry3]

@@ohnooffwego, the waving part makes me feel they should have received .5 out of 5 buttholes. It is not contructive and won't help their cousin fix anything.

[@SpruceOaks]

Agreed. I would have at least given OP and the rest of the cousins a half a butthole. They didn’t need to rub it in Kira’s face. And I’m sure Kira would have reacted the same way regardless.

[@splitinsanity1139]

I feel like if kira keeps pushing nate then one day he's gonna break and hurt her.

[@velvety2006]

and then of course it's Nate's and his disorders fault and not Kira's

[@chaosreaver3597]

Kira doesn't sound too smart. "I'll annoy Nate, my cousin with IED, at EVERY AVAILABLE opportunity". She like one of the idiots who touch people working as living statues on the genitals and then wonders why they got punched in the face.

[@mostar1219]

Kira’s basically trying to get Nate to hurt her so she can butter up the courtroom

[@LilDevyl17]

@@mostar1219 I think you're on the money there. Though maybe now, she'll back off now that she got a taste of her own medicine. But that's pretty hypocritical of the parents though!

[@xLostInFirex]

@@chaosreaver3597 Wait what, people actually do that?

[@WladcaPodziemia]

By the description of Nate's condition I am really surprised that Kira didn't get slapped at some point... or didnt even consider that she might

[@velvety2006]

if he does, he probably gets in trouble because he can't take a joke.

[@KTSpeedruns]

When there’s no contract involved, people will always make it personal and try to get more out of the agreement. Get lawyers involved. Even lawyers use lawyers.

[@zhaga74]

“Most of the time being brutally honest makes you a jerk face” TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN, keep being amazing.

[@pandoratheclay]

Leo, be happy he cancelled the birthday party,and not the birth.

[@Nerobyrne]

you've heard of abortion, now get ready for UNBIRTHING!

[@oh.hey.2045]

Late term abortion

[@theoddgaming5529]

Its not murder its late abortion.

[@pandoratheclay]

@@Nerobyrne Wrong term, and you know it. It’s disintegration.

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

@@Nerobyrne Do us a favor and *_never_* use the word "unbirthing" again. Don't ask me why, don't ever google it, you're going to just have to trust me on this one. Try using the phrase "42nd trimester abortion" instead, it's much less disturbing for all of us.

[@knitwit9447]

I'm starting my first day of college and listening to your stories helps calm me down so much! I have medical problems and anxiety that make me extremely nervous about attending school again, but I'm ready to tackle the day!

[@kittychaotic9450]

I hope your college experience is a good one!

[@trevanminnig3499]

Hey, best of luck! I’m sure you’ll do great through schooling!

[@audreym3908]

Good luck in college! Just remember to have a study plan/schedule and also make friends that you click with. If you're single, you can try dating but don't get into a relationship within your first year (did that and it was horrible), just focus on yourself, studies, and friends. Also once you have things organized a bit, see if you can handle doing a part-time job, like on campus if they're hiring.

[@thepeach2428]

It’s same here. Minus the medical issues I just have anxiety.

[@nallyaaaaaa]

good luck with college! i'm still a secondary school kid who's worried about going to the upper form soon, and college seems like a whole world away. anyways, hope you have an awesome experience!

[@officer-alex-hits3209]

"kira's parents also get 3/5 parents" best quote of this video.

[@lauram3115]

Why would anyone go into a surrogacy without a legal contract. That is insane.

[@IANF126]

thank you for explaining what IED was because even though it wasn't "improvised explosive device" and you said what it was my brain was short circuiting at the similar acronyms.

[@valoripace9038]

IED is pretty close to dmdd (disruptive mood disregulation disorder) my son has dmdd and it's really hard to deal with it. So as an adult if I feel it's hard to deal with it I can understand a child not being able to deal with it. But someone purposely doing stuff to trigger someone with mood disorders my sympathy goes out the window. My dad regularly does this to my son and I don't feel bad when my son gets angry and lashes out and I regularly defend my son within reason.

[@the_rachel_sam]

It’s probably really difficult for your son to have emotional whiplash like that frequently

[@GTSE2005]

Why is your dad such a horrible person?!

[@valoripace9038]

@@GTSE2005 he thinks it's funny. He sees that I struggle with my sons mood disorder and he thinks he is helping me by redirecting my sons anger out on him but it just makes it more difficult for me. My son is physically aggressive so when my dad is the instigator and my son reacts my dad physically overpowers him to make him feel "small and weak" so we have to basically hide in our bedroom 24/7 to avoid any conflict. My dad has nowhere else to live because of his treatment of people and my mom (they are divorced) can't kick him out because he would unalive himself on the streets so that leaves me stuck here until I can find an apartment I can afford.

[@spiderguy20]

That surrogate story sounds like a Lifetime movie.

[@The_momur]

Never work with another party who insists that YOU don’t need a lawyer. OMG, I’ve never regretted as much as $1 I’ve spent with my legal team.

[@velvety2006]

my older brother would smack me if I would do something like this without one

[@thecelestialstarship]

Rslash's "Annoying voice" he does for the guys and women is iconic 💀

[@jaroslavstastny4400]

About the first story: Does even OP’s ex family know that, respectively why that hoodie had such a value to Derek? I think it is possible that they don’t and Leo didn’t tell them the whole story.

[@drewgilmore9978]

Story 1: I remember hearing this story on another Reddit narrator‘s channel. I do not condone what Leo did, but it almost seems like this is a cry for attention or feeling of neglect because he can’t stand that OP got close with a stepbrother when Leo is his biological son. It seems Leo is still not processing that his family is not together anymore. I think they all need family therapy.

[@drewgilmore9978]

@@H-to-O Wholeheartedly agree. I can’t stand when one parent condones the kid’s actions as a way of bashing the ex. I just think Leo is worried he is losing OP to his stepbrother and wishes his family was back together, but he went about getting his point across in the worst way ever.

[@stephanie_jjb]

Okay, regarding that first, story there's a difference between being brutally honest and just being kind of a piece of shit. Telling your girlfriend that the outfit she picked out does in fact make her look fat is being brutally honest. Telling a 12-year-old to get over it when a family member dies is not.

[@zhaga74]

Telling your gf that she looks chunky in her dress is EXTREMELY rude! If she feels pretty, isn’t that all that matters.

[@ayushrudra8600]

15:22 "Kira's parents get 3 / 5 parents"

[@justin2308]

Man, that wasn’t branding them with a butthole rank, it was DEMOTING them. 🤣

[@ayushrudra8600]

@@justin2308 lmao true

[@roselover411]

Oh HELL NO. Formula is stupid expensive!! They BETTER pay OP back!!

[@charleneblack2792]

Definitely take them to court. Formula, diapers, and wipes are extremely expensive, and she threw away EIGHT CANS?! Tell the parents that if they want them to visit, THEY can replace what SIL threw out.

[@cheeseburgah563]

I understand Loosing a kid at such a young age is heartbreaking but she still agree and took the money. She can't be enforcing rules and even trying to name the baby just because of that, she also could've just said no if it was too traumatizing for her. Also yes they really should've made a contract

[@dylanadavis6522]

Agreed. I also hate how he said she's losing another child. No she isn't. She's not the parent. She's the oven the bun was baked in and nothing more imo.

[@justin2308]

@@dylanadavis6522 Doesn’t prevent the parental bond that might form, though.

[@meraki8974]

The woman might not have known how the pregnancy might bring up the underlying trauma. She might have had the very best intentions starting out. This is why OP and her husband are the AHs. They knew the surrogate had lost her only child but chose her anyway. They did not need to choose her but put their own selfish desires for a child above the mental health of the surrogate.

[@dylanadavis6522]

@@justin2308 though you aren't wrong it's still on her. She probably should have seen a therapist during the process to help remind her.

[@Ayaforshort]

@@meraki8974 Trauma doesn't justify poor actions. Nothing the surrogate is doing is okay. Her trauma doesn't matter if she is just going to use it to blackmail and extort money from a couple and traumatize the actual mother by not including her at all. You are wrong because everyone has trauma that doesn't justify poor behavior. Do you know how much trauma school shooters have? it doesn't matter, because they used it as an excuse to murder a dozen other people and cause a wave of traumatized friends and family of the victims and the survivors. Your reasoning is based on prevention. If they could go back and bever ask her. If they went back and made a formal contract. As it stands they can't do over either. They have to move forward doing right by everyone involved. Op was more then fair and gracious. But the surrogate crossed the line. Inexcusable.

[@kennedyosullivan8723]

I disagree with the surrogacy story. The friend who recommended Brittany gets 3/5 buttholes because she knew the circumstances and actively made sure that there was no contract, Brittnay’s mum gets 1.5/5 buttholes for encouraging Brittany, the husband gets 1/5 buttholes for not supporting his wife, Brittany gets 4/5 buttholes for knowingly entering this contract knowing she couldn’t handle it and trying to push the wife out of her own child’s birth, and OP gets 0/5 buttholes because she’s only trying to have a child and set clear boundaries and she has obviously been manipulated by her friend to accept Brittany as a surrogate and her husband has been indicating that it’s okay so she should accept it too, all putting her in a bad position. OP is an absolute moron for doing this, but not a butthole

[@KittenUndercover]

OP also knew the circumstances though.

[@whitneybennett5076]

I agree with you. And yes, it's tragic that the surrogate lost a child but it sounds like she WANTED to be a surrogate for OP and that nobody forced her to do it.

[@ontheline3421]

I'm not sure about Brittany herself. I mean... we're not sure what was told to her, was she under mental health care, etc. I mean I can imagine her being depressed or any other illness that made her come up with the plan to get a "replacement" to have a baby. I can imagine that mother "supporting" her to give her that idea. Or friend. Or even both with the great idea of "she won't be sad if she gets a new baby". I mean there are some stunning ppl that think that "baby overwrites marriage" and that the dude would divorce his wife and marry B. to take care of the kid with their mother. If B. was on some undiagnosed or diagnosed and not correctly taken care of issue, we shouldn't even blame her for doing so cuz it's more of a disorder doing it that her. Ofc friend and mommy are obvious. Also I'd say husband be like 0,5 not full 1. Let's note here OP didn't say a word until that day and husband could have thought it's a normal process that he needs to be in case doctor needed some "daddy checkup" but a woman not related by blood to kid would never attend such things. He might have not reacted to to piss off a soon-to-be mother not to hurt kid. I mean it's wrong not to stand up for your partner and quite clueless not to think about taking her to doctor checkups but not intentionally bad.

[@swordwitchw.992]

It's also fishy that they pushed her not to make a contract and sign that. Also, I don't want to say this, but it sounds like all of this was planned from the start. Pressure two partners, who desperately want a child, into agreeing to take this specific woman to carry their child. Manipulate them into not creating a contract and then expect them to go along, when the agreed plans change. It just sounds too weird.

[@the_rachel_sam]

@@ontheline3421 well, blame, no, but having an undiagnosed mental illness doesn’t absolve you of fault. Many people commit crimes while mentally ill-anger problems, addiction habits, child abuse that later results in a serial killer as is the background for most serial killers… (seriously, people, don’t abuse your children… obviously). And while they may have been motivated by their illness, they still are responsible in the end

[@mr.scarlo2234]

I hope that everyone is having a good Monday!

[@yachtykyingston1574]

I am having a good start how are you doing?

[@mr.scarlo2234]

@@yachtykyingston1574, good to hear and I'm doing well.

[@jojomonks4887]

I mean it's a Monday but this video makes it bearable

[@caputinodelamour5983]

Thank you I really need it

[@kangarookidszone]

Wanda and Visions anniversary

[@zerozer0298]

For the first post: this is exactly why I want to be a psychologist. This isn't about Leo being embarrassed of a hoodie, Leo is jealous the his father is spending time with Derek and blamed Derek for it. For the second post: watch When The Boughs Break

[@draconicfeline6177]

And he's being a massive asshole and bully about it. Can he change?

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Family friend or not, not having a legally binding contract for surrogacy it just dumb. It is going to end up in court and messy as hell.

[@aeonvalley8589]

Daily reminder that you are loved and appreciated even if you don’t know it

[@theonlybananagod3115]

Last story, Rslash said Kira's parents get 3/5 parents. I was like what did you just say in confusion 🤣

[@sanmononoke7764]

"Kir'as parents also get 3 out of 5 parents" 😭😭😂😂😂😂 that got me cracking up

[@saiyanation3548]

Coming from someone who has lost their birthday many times due to bad grades in school I can 100% say that your birthday party is definitely a privilege

[@FerventLotus]

Kira story. "Well, she loves to 'prank' Nate all the time, so we decided to just play a prank on her. Totally harmless. Kira just needs to not be so sensitive!"

[@DuncanGDA]

"Kiras' parents get three out of 5 parents" Ahh, you sure about that?

[@Twinklethefox9022]

I wonder if that's a better or worse rating

[@DillonHalstead]

Been waiting for this for ages thank you for your dedication for uploading everyday for over a year your channel deserves over 5 million subscribers easily

[@Espenfalls]

That title is very scary, I am concerned about how bad this story will be.

[@ohexenwahno5652]

Second story: verbal contracts are just as binding as written contract, you just need a witness to corroborate.

[@AmusementLabs]

A birthday is a right?! Ha! If a birthday is a right, then he can get and pay everything all by himself. No car, no credit card, good luck!

[@thunderflare59]

"She's inconsolable." Good

[@AbrahamNoLies]

I've been watching rslash for about 2 yrs now I love listening to reddit stories

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

Awwww man…that’s tragic. Now, I remember another story where a father cancelled his kids birthday, and we all agree that canceling a birthday is a bit harsh. However, I’m curious if it can be considered more acceptable with a teenager? Edit: Probably not, maybe it’s just that this teenager was so bad that it was a fitting punishment…?

[@jacklamborn8810]

It's not. unless the guy did something cruel, it's not.

[@thedarkpiginator9914]

@@jacklamborn8810 it is I am 13 and I stopped having birthdays at 7

[@GTSE2005]

@@thedarkpiginator9914 What happened?

[@fredrik5832]

@@thedarkpiginator9914 Yeah but remember you aren’t everyone.

[@greenrandall143]

I was thinking the Same thing

[@weallhaveguns]

I lost my younger brother, and if someone destroyed something of his, I would lose my shit on them. There’s NO excuse. Leo was being unnecessary cruel, and I’m glad OP handled it. He honestly probably needs to get him some form of help. No one in their right mind is that cruel.

[@Kruhee]

I'm honest, it sometimes hurts peoples feeling to hear the truth and that's why being tactful, waiting for the right time and place, and having empathy is important. Anyone who says they are "brutally honest" is just finding excuses to be an asshole.

[@ayushpandey2628]

OMG Rslash how can you neglect that the Surrogate is trying to ruin the existing relationship so that she can build her own family.....

[@HackiePuffs]

He’s just blinded by his sympathy

[@ayushpandey2628]

@@HackiePuffs I accept the sympathy but cannot neglect the Evil either

[@deadaccount87]

*Reads Title* Well that escalated quickly. Like that really got outta hand.

[@-OneMoreGhost-]

In this situation, it would seem that there are two of them, and this situation is getting out of hand

[@scarletassassin523]

I think there’s a movie on this

[@SirFrankieCrisp94]

But... but... the Beastie Boys fought, and possibly died for Leo's right to party 😂😂

[@greenrandall143]

This comment needs more likes

[@JayeEllis]

Non-Crunchy Mom: Whatever she did with them after, she stole your things! If she's not willing to play ball, call the cops.

[@mille7476]

The first story litterally made a chill go down my spine, and if that were my son I would cancel his birthday and sell any computer/car/gaming console and I still wouldn't be really satisfied. I wouldn't be satisfied before he was on his knees crying and begging me to stop selling his stuff.

[@hyperfixedandhopeless995]

NEVER EVER do surrogacy without a lawyer involved my dears, this story is not nearly as rare or unique as it seems, and a lot of really complex and emotional things happen for all involved, so there needs to be clear, written agreements with consequences for changing things or renegotiations. This woman is now holding your child hostage and you will be needing a custody lawyer when the baby is born which will be a nightmare if you don't have any binding agreements signed before the actual IVF let alone before the baby is born. OP Doesn't need to "lay in her bed" she needs to get a lawyer, ASAP. Rslash, you are judging based on her choices, but forgetting there is still a human being going to come into this world and be affected by this, so just letting it get as messy as it will is equal to wishing a child born in a harmful situation that they didn't ask for. 2/5 buttholes for forgetting that surrogacy is about bringing a human into the world, not a pet.

[@maxime2428]

Looking at the title and a thousand theories going into my mind in what could of happened

[@theavatarofinsanity]

"Kiras Parents also get 3 out of 5 Parents" made me laugh way harder than it should have.

[@justicedunham4088]

I think in most cases adoption is better than surrogacy. There’s no third party to deal with and there are millions of children in the world already wanting for a parent.

[@MsNoPixel]

I feel bad for the kid in the first story, I lost my dad 7yrs ago, you don’t “get over” losing people you’re super close to & if someone destroyed one of the only things I had left of his I’d be crushed.