r/AmITheAntagonist | VIDEO GAMES BAD | r/AITA

[@Cuestar]

pls give your opinions, i love to hear everyone's take!

[@MrAte-uo7yo]

I just looked at the original 1st post, Reddit she was the asshole because and I quote: "YTA For allowing him to emotionally abuse your children."

[@PinkFluf]

I think the fact that he has to create scenarios speaks volumes. If the kids were misbehaving so badly, why does he have to create instanced teachable moments instead of teaching them when they misbehave? He is manipulative and power tripping, and if I were the mom of those kids I'd be really insulted that he's undermining my authority and how I've done as a parent.

[@harrythej9683]

1. The step dad is so clearly in the wrong. He is the one being dishonest by lying and creating an unsolvable problem. Setting traps is what an opponent does. He has no right to complain about dishonesty when he is the one setting the bad example. 2. I'd understand if he barely left the house, but he probably wasn't honest about the doctors asking him to wear the soles all day. You are not supposed to do that, since some walking bare foot is needed to rebuild muscles in the foot. Apart from this possible lie, in-house shoes should have been an obvious choice. 3. He had to choose, since the mothers made it a competition, which Nora lost. They are at fault. Him rewarding the lesser achievement would have been a clear indication of choosing sympathy over merit, which would have been morally worse. 4. A wife being provided with so much and not having the compassion to leave her husband 1 hour per day for his last hobby is just sick and cruel. That marriage is already doomed and it does not seem to be his fault.

[@fagaction]

Man, Cue. I've been disagreeing with a lot of my youtuber's I follow that do AITA regularly. But I gotta say, I agree with pretty much all of your 'hot' takes here.

[@Nicknamekb]

Thanks I needed some clarity on that one

[@js8qp2pwisos]

The first guy said "Youre raising your kids to turn out as liars!" when, he literally lied to them 😭

[@PhoenixRising1310]

In relation to story 1, My dad was a delusional narcissist. He would do that shit, set me up to get into trouble no matter what way I handled the situation. It messes you up, it's not discipline, it just makes you lose trust in people and have issues telling if people are being honest or not.

[@Stinkydinkydo]

If u read the comments of the first post they found her the antagonist for even thinking of marrying this guy

[@ThyGeep]

That makes a lot more sense

[@lilblondiebear]

I've had that happen to me on that subreddit. They can be pretty harsh and judgemental towards people looking for advice but, ah well.

[@redzed2038]

@@lilblondiebear ever heard of iFunny

[@supergoodadvice853]

@@lilblondiebear She deserves it, though.

[@littlemrsmods7998]

Ah yes, victimized woman bad, bad man good. Like always

[@sjm4306]

Sounds like the 1st fiancee is a poor excuse of an adult to begin with and if he's doing this to his own future kids then I shudder to think of the abuse he puts his students through. More likely than their wellbeing, looks like he needs to do shit like this to assert his dominance and stoke his ego. If I were the mom I'd dump his manipulative ass. It's not gonna be long till he starts treating her like that.

[@space_pollution]

My thoughts exactly! If the mom marries him, then that will almost certainly drive her kids away from her. Something similar happened with my aunt, she married a man who later turned out to be emotionally ab*sive towards her and especially her kids. It got to the point where one of them moved out to live with their dad and then joined the navy just to get away from him, and the other is still kind of distant from my aunt. She regrets it, and she regrets staying with him for so long, but she was afraid of divorcing him for many reasons. I just hope that the mom in the post comes to her senses and gets herself and her kids out of there ASAP.

[@raccoon.pies.]

My mother remarried to an abusive man similar to this and would insist that i wasn’t disciplined enough and was given too much freedom (his exact words were “you need to cut the cord”) when I genuinely don’t think I was a bad kid and rarely got in trouble. When he was given free reign suddenly I was accused of lying, stealing, manipulating, and had any bit of freedom and privacy taken away all because of his need for control. He would insist children were dishonest and trouble makers by nature and should never be trusted and it just made me feel isolated and like my mother had turned on me as she had believed him over me every time. This is one of those rare situations where you can stop the years of abuse before it has the opportunity to ruin more relationships so I hope she can leave him soon

[@ReverieOfThorns]

I wouldn't say she's a poor excuse of an adult, we don't have enough context to understand her situation. Maybe she's been in an abusive relationship before? Maybe the guy is manipulating her too not just playing mind games with the kids? Either way, she needs to open her eyes to it and dump the guy, but unless her children really are hellions I don't think we should be blaming her for anything.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

she needs to assert her dominance over him, this is pathetic. it's her kids, he should have no power. my mom woulda dumped his ass the first time he threatened to punish me.

[@drasiella]

@@raccoon.pies. I hope you healed from this terror.

[@oliverwilhelm6171]

If the fiancé from story 1 wanted to raise kids into decent adults, he should try setting an example and act like one instead of setting up "secret morality tests" like a lunatic.

[@URFTBOUND4LIFE]

You can't teach morality with acts of duplicity

[@endiecutie06]

Also, he’s a stepfather, and here’s the thing about stepparents (from someone who had one): they will NEVER have the same authority their bio parents do. This guy has to accept that, guess what, they are not living under “his roof”, they are living under their MOTHERS room.

[@littlemoth4956]

@@endiecutie06No, abso fucking lutely not. To say stepparents can’t have the same level of influence and connection in a child’s life as bioparents is not only objectively wrong, it’s cruel.

[@keoniflow2019]

In the last post, OP is definitely not the asshole. Yes, being a mother is a full time job, but so is having a full time job.its very unreasonable to not have an hour to himself after working an entire day

[@origamisteve]

Agreed, he even mentioned dropping everything he was doing if his daughter wanted his attention. So he's definitely not being neglectful. Everyone (main bread winner and stay at home parent) in this scenario deserves a little me time. It sounds like the wife gets that in TV time where as the husband just wants that 30mins to an hour playing video games. Seems fair on both sides to me.

[@Indyawillis85]

There's no way that husband/dad working 12 hours a day is the asshole! He shouldn't have to come home from work to immediately go back to work for the kids once he gets home. Jeezus, let him have a few mins to relax.

[@epicriku9162]

The last guy isn't the asshole for not letting his wife run over him... If we put the fact that the wife CHOSE to be a stay at home mom, It's perfectly reasonable for him to want like an hour of gaming time and not devoting every single second of his attention to his wife. He's an active father and husband already, everyone needs their alone time.

[@FallenDemonFly]

Been there said that got downvoted into obivion

[@b.w.5828]

He's not an a-hole for wanting some time to himself. He IS an a-hole for not recognizing that his wife needs the same and very likely feels ignored by him. Yes, she /chose/ to be a stay at home mom. That doesn't mean she should never get a break from it. He /chose/ his job and to be a father, that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a break either. He gets to come home and leave his work at work. She's working every second of the day that she is awake, and the only person who can give her a true break each day thinks he needs the break more and she doesn't deserve it. She has no escape, 24/7. She's not trying to run all over him, she's asking for the same thing that he's taking plus maybe a little attention and affection from her husband, only having her requests ignored in favor of his. Both parents deserve time to themselves (and time together without the child), but only one of them seems to be actually taking it. If he gets to come home and play an hour of video games, then he should have to exclusively entertain the child for an hour afterwards so that mom can do whatever she wants without the burden of watching the child too. The little glimpse he gives us into his wife's life honestly breaks my heart for her. She sounds extremely stressed and exhausted and her husband doesn't seem to acknowledge that or care.

[@KäptnKrückschwank]

@@b.w.5828she theoretically can take a break whenever she wants. She can sit down, have a coffee, watch tv, stare at the walls or do whatever whenever she likes while the guy probably can’t do all that, has to be 8hrs at a specific place, only has a 30min break or whatever. Not meaning to rank efforts, but let your guy unwind a little when he comes home. He just stopped being a robot for the day

[@Heavy4th]

@@b.w.5828 Yeah, being a mom is a 24 hour job but as a father that stayed at home for 9 months with our toddler, i can tell you that it was best time ever. Our kid took two 1.5-2 hour naps a day. That’s 3-4 hours of whatever time each day. And if i understood it right, the mother got alone time watching her shows etc. Nah he’s not the a-hole for wanting to play games for a bit.

[@jsnlgrrtt]

@@Idengard He said he works 12 hour days not 8.

[@Gale_Storm_]

Dude in the first story...makes me think he's projecting. I bet that if you were to put him in that situation in real life, and he found the money, he'd lie through his teeth and say he didn't so he could pocket it.

[@donniejefferson9554]

100% on the side of the guy in the videogame story. Sounds like he spends time with them but just needs a bit of time to chill. Seems pretty reasonable. Doesn't sound like he's stopping his wife from decompressing. If she wanted to watch something for a bit by herself, it doesn't sound like he'd stop her while he spends time with the kid. Honestly kind if annoying how much reddit sides with moms no matter what in these situations

[@wannabehistorian371]

I feel sorry for the dude, he was browbeaten into thinking he’s bad for just wanting a break.

[@Little_Lepus]

Y'know what would have made that money test WAY more reasonable? If no reward was offered for finding the dollar, and when the 14 year old brought him one anyway, reward him for it with the $10 for being generous, and to teach the lesson that kindness is it's own reward.

[@dolst]

I'm not even done listening to the first story but I've already gotten to the $1 versus $10 thing and oh my God that woman must absolutely not marry that man and he should not be allowed anywhere near children and oh my Christ if I were alone in a room with him I can't say what I would do because that would technically be a threat. 🤬 Surf Wisely.

[@05weasel]

I have a somewhat similar situation to the guy in the last story and I’ve found that it helps out a lot to tell my girlfriend in advance what my plans are. For example, “hey, after work today I want to play video games for a bit” or “on one of my days off this week I have a project I’m going to be working on.” Just so she’s not looking forward to having all of my attention at that time. GRANTED we do not have kids so I’m sure that adds a few wrinkles that I can’t speak to.

[@spacequeen2046]

I teach community college & I went to a private college, and I can say with a fair amount of certainty that it's a way smarter move to go to community college, especially for the gen eds. You can get your gen eds out of the way and transfer to a more prestigious school if you want to, which I wish someone would have talked to me about when I was 18. In the story, I actually don't think OP was the asshole-- I do think that it's not fair that they view community college as the "9th place" of educational achievement, and that it reflects the view of our society that things made to be accessible are automatically worse. The clear asshole is whichever mom scheduled her daughter's party on the same day as the other, knowing it would force everyone to choose and that one of these kids would be heartbroken.

[@ThriftShopTunes]

I honestly do not understand why anyone wouldn't go to community college for gen eds unless they got a full scholarship or can afford it.

[@phantom-X2086]

The last dude is definitely not the bad guy here. He tries his hardest to support his family. He works 12 hours a day, and just wants to play a game for 30 minutes to an hour. That's perfectly fine. I understand being a mom is hard too, it's a job in of itself, but like as someone who is a mother, shouldn't his wife also be empathetic. They both work hard to care for their child, and soon to be child, so she should understand that working 12 hours is tough too. Idk, people in the subreddit help the wife feel entitled to being a mom, not sure what it is about mothers complaining and being entitled about being moms that they lose compassion for those who also have hard working jobs or lives. Edit: I'm not saying all moms are like that of course, I'm just talking about the ones that are like that. I just hate when people feel so entitled about things.

[@Nerobyrne]

Yeah, if this keeps up then eventually he's just going to be a shell of his former self and will likely get depressed. People need hobbies. They need time to relax. Also, you're right, there are some people who definitely swung the pendulum too far the other way. Used to be that being a mother wasn't even considered a job. But now some people think it's the only job that exists and everyone else is ... I dunno, having fun at work?

[@phantom-X2086]

@@Nerobyrne Right, he deserves it for being the best husband and dad he can be. He's willing to change to help out, he deserves something to relax. And I can understand his wife hates gaming, but she shouldn't control his desire to play. That's kind of manipulative. And you're right, being mother wasn't considered one. It does require hard work, yes, but it's not an excuse to act entitled. A lot of the times, they put themselves in that situation and they complain about it and want to act like they're on top of the world for having children.

[@SpookiCooki]

And I'd like to add to her saying "being a mom is a hard job" or whatever, well he's a parent too! She can't play that card with the child's father.

[@feliciapease3912]

It seems like he is spending time with them but the fact that he has a hobby that doest involve her is making her bitter. She get to watch her movie but he cant play video games? If i had to take guess he focus on the kid while she enjoying her hobby with picking up his phone when the kid wants her mom. It sounds like a double standard.

[@NBDYSPCL]

Could kill a few birds with one stone by getting a Wii or.something and playing games as a family.

[@thebuttonking]

1st was not the antagonist, that guy is psychotic 2nd was ehhh because I get the no shoes rule if they're outside shoes too, but just buy clean new shoes for the house and then your mom should be ok with that?? 3rd was not because both parties should have been planned to be separate days or one big party, they set themselves up for that chaos. 4th was not the antagonist because the dad literally works 12 hours a day, let the man game. Everything he said was reasonable so idk what the wife is on about.

[@ak0097]

For the 4th, she's 20 weeks pregnant

[@phantompyro6482]

I agree on most, but the third. While the situation doesn't particularly have any right answers, the OPs rationale for their choice and their attitude towards (imo justified) backlash shows they're in the wrong

[@ProxiProtogen]

@@phantompyro6482 I don't get it though, They both get to choose when they want to celebrate. None of them wants to change. So OP chooses the one that is more significant. Like, don't like you would be prouder in a nefew or niece is they were in Harvard then some community College. You can say that there response is bad but this is reddit, and there's a 100% chance that most of them were literally teenagers.

[@GalaxyOfTerror1]

@@ProxiProtogen yeah you’re an AH too, what a way to shit on someone else’s education. You’re just like the OP, a cunt.

[@ProxiProtogen]

@@GalaxyOfTerror1 I get thinking that, but what the fuck do you do? Education is Education but most people would take someone's education more seriously if they're in a famously good college than a community College. This is true for nearly any other aspect of life. Why is it different now? I wouldn't call anyone their an asshole. It's just that they're being stupid by not moving a party, and being stupid doesn't make someone an asshole.

[@mustbetheSUN]

Let the man play videogames! Everyone needs a while to decompress, jeez.

[@Shadows518]

That first story. The dude is absolutely unhinged, it comes across as a raging red flag precursor to psychological abuse.

[@riotplanetxo]

I relate to OP in the party one. My oldest brother got into a top uni, we threw a bash for him. My other brother and i briefly attended community college with no party. Except when my other brother got a high pay job we also threw him a bash, and it we be the same for me. We celebrate achievements not consolation prizes.

[@garretwoeller7669]

Bruh the last dude probably should of never knocked that woman up

[@charminglady2011]

Hmmm the last one, I have questions. He said she decided to have another child and be a sahm. Both of those decisions are 2 person convesations. But he said she decided. So either he's throwing her under the bus, or homegirl is mad controlling. While I am sure she needs hubby lovin, I am giving her side eye, and a disapproving head shake.

[@christineloeb3180]

Great video! The last story is so tough. Both parents have it rough and there needs to be some negotiating of down time for both of them. They may also want to start trying to get out by themselves if they don't now. I wish them luck

[@AmazingAutist]

It's not tough at all. When he gets home, getting on the game isn't the first thing he does. He does whatever she needs him to do around the house gas right after working for 12 hours, and then spends 30 minutes to an hour by himself doing something that he likes. What are we different if he was watching TV or reading a book? And if there's ever anything needed, he stops what he does and helps. And then later the wife watches TV for around the same amount of time or more, and he takes care of the kid. But no one's getting on a her case for wanting to have time for herself? It's not hard. He's not in the wrong. People just want to hate on him because he's a man that dares to want to have at most an hour of free time to himself, after 12 hours of hard work supporting his family and being a dedicated father.

[@Ranger_Biscuit]

I'm loving all the Cuestar uploads lately!

[@ThePeak45]

COD husband isn't the asshole. Homey works, twelve hours a day to support his wife who wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and his daughter, gives them love and attention, and all he wants is a little time to decompress after the day. The wife is delusional and people saying that he's in the wrong are delusional as well.

[@mrslagowhoreusrex6300]

24 Hours in the day than a 12 Hour Shift plus 6 to 8 Hours to Sleep than 30 Minutes to 1 Hour to Eat DInner leaves at Best 5.5 Hours of Freetime & at Worse 3 Hours spare which could also be less due to OP Travelling to Work. Add 30 Mins to 1 Hour on COD than you're left with 2.5 Hours to 5 Hours. Plenty of time to Catch up do some house chores, hang out with the Kid, make the Wife happy etc. Like I would feel like Hell if I were OP never able to do Prior Hobbies now being told to 'cut' back on the last remaining semblance of Peace. Everyone needs to be alone at times.

[@crystalgemgirl731]

For the gaming one, yeah, he's NOT the A-hole. Work can be hell, and you gotta unwind a little and an hour isn't really too much time to play, and he DOES pay attention to his daughter when she wants his attention.

[@KRO-222]

I very much hope the mom from the first one doesn’t marry that guy. He is awful and will continue to abuse her children.

[@tippiebekfast]

If hes TA for playing for 30mins, then im Satan.

[@rangerchief8004]

The first story sounds like the guy became a teacher to have power of smaller weaker people, the kids, because he can’t control anything else. She needs to dump him before it’s to late.

[@mishroeder9490]

That last part of outro was terrifying! I'm going to go check out your song now!

[@anastasiarivera3063]

The shoe person could wear shoe covers inside. We use those at work when we work in infant daycare rooms to prevent germs. There are reusable and disposable covers that just slip right over any shoe type. I absolutely think that this person needs to be able to wear their corrective shoes because that can prevent health issues like back problems in the future.

[@Lady_Crispr]

Playing manipulative mind games with children is abusive. It's not teaching lessons. She is an asshole for staying with someone who would set up her kids for failure like this. Leave. Your love life isn't worth more than the mind of your kids.

[@Yipyipyay]

You realize it's not that easy to just leave abusive relationships right?

[@WhinyB]

Get “House shoes” they make some really nice ones out there or buy another pair of the same shoes in a different color with the insoles.

[@dominickeijzer5844]

For the third one, it's more of her being the asshole, while being more of an Everyone Sucks Here. He's not allowed to spend 30 minutes doing something she's not interested in, but she can spend time doing something he's not interested in. Though, given the outrage, I'd love to hear back from everyone here if there's something I missed.

[@oneeyedpunk]

First fiance talks about greed and dishonesty when he's the one that was dishonest in setting up this test to begin with. He literally lied to the children's faces but he wants to call the kid dishonest for taking money out of his own allowance to replace the supposedly missing dollar bill.

[@Droanux]

I think the argument of " If they were your kids would you just say one's accomplishment isn't good enough?" is psychotic. Like I'd just make it one fucking party, not drive one 30 minutes out of town and say "hope someone shows up to your loser party." The whole situation is petty and the only way OP could have won is going to one party and giving the other a gift or something.

[@ChrissaTodd]

i'm confused how the first one makes her the antagonist when that was kind messed up how he tricked that kid. it's such a weird way to teach a kid something lol the kid didn't even get the lesson he just felt confused and tricked like what? yeah maybe calling him delusional was a bit far but he is in some wrong here.

[@PinkCatsy]

She just get called the antagonist for being with this guy in the first place. That was the top comment and that's how the sub works.

[@autumngarcia7562]

She's the A because she's with that guy in the first place and not putting a stop to his behavior sooner. She's the A to her kids, that's what most of the commenters are saying.

[@waitwhat238]

@@autumngarcia7562 So because she's not babysitting her fiancee too, she's the AH?

[@squirrel670]

@@waitwhat238 She's an A for allowing this abusive and manipulative man access to her children. It's not like she was unaware and she knows it's ridiculous, yet she's still with him. Its irresponsible to knowingly keep someone like that in the lives of your children.

[@autumngarcia7562]

@@waitwhat238 No, she's the A for allowing all of this to go on and not protecting her children

[@joncross9264]

That last guy is NTA. Plenty of people are Mom's and work, she chose the job and that's the thing. The husband can do a bit more but he isn't the monster here. When you live at the expense of another, you have little say in the state of things. If this was the other way around she wouldn't reciprocate. In fact she would likely be resentful and those same people will cheer her on and treat her much better. She likely wouldn't be found guilty of checking out here unlike her husband.

[@ogzephyr4166]

“I went to this party because she got into the GOOD college” getting into college is an achievement in general, that’s some pretentious shit

[@Amberxant]

Cue, I'm starting to think that you saying "I will see you very soon" is gonna end with you appearing outside my window.

[@slashbash1347]

For the last one, I'd have suggested "compromise" but the guy already is compromising. He's perfectly reasonable here.

[@berserkagain7976]

I really doubt it's just "30 mins to a hour" for the gaming guy.

[@VampiraVonGhoulscout]

Gamer OP, little bit of a story time for you. My ex used to spend 8-14 hours every single day depending on the day playing games, refused to do anything as a couple and expected me to order them food and clean for them like a babysitter. This was on top of a 9-5 job they worked. I would spend nights staring at my phone or at the walls, eating Chinese takeout, so miserable and wondering if this was what the rest of my life would be like. It got so bad and I felt so neglected that I had to lower myself to being naked around them for the 3 seconds of breadcrumbs of attention I would get from the "ooh, boobies" and then back to making me feel invisible. I'm not proud of that, but that's how desperate for love they made me feel. It was a straight up addiction. I felt like they were in a relationship with the PC and I was the occasional mistress. Any time I did manage to get them away from the games, you could see they were just biding their time so they could go back to it and complain about having to spend time at my house like it was a chore being away from Apex Legends for five seconds. But I was the bad guy if I brought it up and they would twist it on me. On top of that, they had really bad gamer rage and I have C-PTSD that's quite badly triggered by conflict and they refused to do anything about it. Again, somehow my fault for bringing it up. They lived on the third floor and you could hear them word for word on the street. So believe me when I say that you are NTA for spending 30mins to an hour away and spending the rest of the time being a good parent.

[@trial_with_an_error9687]

Yeah no the fiancé in that story is fucking insane. Drop him like a bad fucking habit

[@Michael-es4dt]

I can't get to sleep and cue just uploaded, my night just got better!

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Story 1: She's TA, because she's still with him and exposing her kids to his crazy. Story 2: If his mom is eastern, it's a custom they have, to not wear shoes inside. If OP left that out, they're TA. Story 3: Fake. I didn't go to college, but my family still celebrated me and my twin's high school graduation. Story 4: NTA. He gave up a lot, and needs to decompress. If it was a mom working, with a SAHD, and mom wants to decompress when she comes home, there'd be NTA's all around. Wife is just mad family time doesn't decompress him.

[@sethrayne8076]

maybe the child in the first story just… found another dollar lost somewhere and wasn’t even lying. it’s one dollar, i don’t imagine it being a thing that’s hard to find lying around

[@zirconium2014]

Yeah they're easy to find laying around the house tbh

[@Flutter_Aeina]

I feel like the last guy while he should be able to have time to decompress, he should have listened to his wife’s grievances in the first place. Like he only has a couple hours each work day for his family, and spending one of those hours just playing video games seems like something he may regret. Maybe compromise and have the daughter sit on his lap while he plays? Basically incorporate some way for both mom and dad to decompress. Like half the gaming time, his daughter is in the room while his wife relaxes, and then they switch.

[@DoritoBot9000]

I’ve always suspected that a lot of people idealize the “stay at home” life. Truth is it’s not only a 24/7 job but it can extremely isolating as well, specially if you live in a suburban area, taking an even greater toll on mental health. So when a new mom starts getting hit with the tough realities of a SHM daily life they may even grow resentful of their partner who does have a working life outside the home. My own mother was a SHM and after seeing how it affected her it’s a life I’d never want for myself.

[@AntiSoraXVI]

It’s not a job if you choose to have one child (and then choose to have a second one in this case). I’m sorry, but if you’re able to choose one person to work 12 hours for a company to support you and a child that you wanted, then I don’t think you get to call it a job. It’s a luxury to afford a suburban home in which your only boss is the child you wanted to begin with. Hell, maybe if the guy got another job the mom could even get a nanny or something to make their life even easier

[@silverpixie101]

I went to look. In the first they're calling her an asshole for letting the man gaslight and emotionally abuse her children.

[@Yipyipyay]

Which is stupid imo because she's probably being abused to. Her being abused and not knowing doesn't make her an asshole.

[@mikmak2102]

I mean I use video games as an escape from being a stay at home mum. I don’t play though until my son is asleep 🙃

[@Angel-vb7bb]

The first guy is controlling.

[@mizzzlicia1832]

First guy is a TEACHER! New school

[@lucialovecraft]

My sister has a condition that affects her posture and feet. She has to wear insoles everywhere she goes. It’s a medical condition that badly affects her

[@C4nn1b4l_]

8:14 This would happen all the time to me, in the sense that 2 graduation/ college parties happen on the same day. What I would do is go to the one which ends first, spend an hour or 2 there then go to the other. It's not hard. Even if it's on the other side of town, if you really care for said person, you would go. She clearly favors one over the other.

[@xDigDoug]

It is NOT good to play mind games with children. This happened to me with my step dad, on a few occasions but the most memorable was him getting a gun license and telling me NOT to tell my mom under any circumstances. In the end, a good parent would have rewarded me for being honest and doing the right thing, instead I got a lecture for telling my mother that my step dad who was already weird and prone to violent threats was getting a gun. I was very a very freaky time.

[@AmaltheaGaming]

1st story is about entrapment. He's trying to bate children in to doing bad thing and then punishing them is they fail. He would be out of the house faster then I can say it's over

[@bryncore]

The last one sounds like the couple needs to sit down and have a deep chat idk why he’s asking strangers on the internet :/ I used to live with my brother and his family (he has two kids 2 & 4) he and his partner spend as much time as a family after work and then decompress time AFTER they put the kids to sleep and that seems to work out really well 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think that makes the most sense to me idkk sounds like OP likes the concept of being a father but like doesn’t know how

[@Chonkems]

Community College got me through the prerequisites for SWAT. They're honestly better than larger colleges a lot of the time.

[@scritoph3368]

Honestly OP 3 serving a well deserved own to the trigger happy pricks on r/AITA

[@Yipyipyay]

YES THANK YOU

[@SuperSapphireStone]

First story - My "step dad" did this shit. Me 28 F, I was probably 24 when my mom got re married. I was still living with her because at the time due to mental disabilities but worked, pay rent. etc. When they got married he did not take long to start controlling me. I have a life style as a gamer. I paid for my computer mart and build my own PC. But even so I paid for my computer and clearly a adult, he though it was "not normal for people to be on the computer for hours at a day. So he made me get off the computer every night at 10 o clock and I had to be in bed at 11:30... but since I was in "their house" I had to go by "their rules" Not only that, he forced me to got the the gym for 2 hours a day because I was "over weight" made me work 40 hours a week because part time was not good enough for him. Note that this job is very physical. Made me fork out $500 per month for a room even tho I was trying my best to get a place and get out, And even threatened to sue me for my social security money when I finally got it because he and my mom "helped" me and they deserved it. There was also one time he actually cornered me, got 2 inches to my face, I told him the back the back up and he said "what are you gonna do about it?" The last part I absolutely hate him for is that one day we we're arguing "because he always liked to pick fights with me" I was at a low and breaking point and told him that I'm starting to complicate suicided because of all the shit he is putting me though and everything else i've been dealing with. And note i'm not the type of person who cries suicided to people on regular bases. And you know what he told me? "Well we are gonna have to send you to a mental hospital we you are gonna have to pay for it. Well i'm out of there now and don't have to deal with that bastard anymore.

[@JacksonDunnoKnows]

The first one, that kid was using his natural cleverness. The dude sounds like a huge manipulating egomaniac

[@MusParvulus]

I can't imagine not getting any time to rest after work. Also, it's a genuinely worthy calling and all, but people with children seen miserable?

[@Nikagor]

The party one had another conclusion...just don't go to either, but if you choose you better hold out against the storm.

[@milleniumtardis]

5:54 here’s my take as a student getting their masters degree in psychology. It seems like op is part of a bigger conflict between the two aunts. He’s in an unwinnable situation where either choice is going to anger the other party. It’s seems like the one aunt was mad at everyone including op about going to the other niece’s party. To say he’s the a-hole would simplify a larger family conflict where each member plays a dynamic. We don’t know why they refused to reschedule. It’s possible there’s more to the conflict between the two aunts than what is revealed in the post. The fact that op is willing to reflect and post tells me he may not be the problem in this situation but without hearing each member of the family speak it’s hard to say for sure. Maybe one aunt is jealous of the other niece’s achievements and is mad that people didn’t go to her kids party. Maybe op is biased against one niece. It’s hard to say

[@roarbahamut9866]

I feel for the one guy who isnt even allowed to play 30min a day. Dude legit working 12h a day, idgaf what anyone says, being a mommy isnt as "difficult" as working 12h. Dudes the sole bread winner, she CHOSE to stay at home AND choses every vacation. I feel like the guy just gets milked for everything that hes worth lmao

[@justabunneh6490]

Yep. She even gets to nap during the day, he doesn't.

[@alibunny3982]

@@justabunneh6490 She’s also pregnant? She’s literally growing another human being, it’s a lot of energy to just function while pregnant let alone keeping up with the house work plus another kid she takes care of 24/7. Just because she can nap when the other kid is resting doesn’t mean she’s not doing hard and exhausting work. He definitely deserves his time to decompress and game if he wants, but that doesn’t mean what she does isn’t just as hard.

[@supergoodadvice853]

@@alibunny3982 But it isn't. If he worked 8 hour days, you'd have a good case, but not 12.

[@phantom-X2086]

@@alibunny3982 I understand that she's going through pregnancy too while also caring for her daughter at home, but she's starting to sound entitled about her motherhood. Yes, being a mom is hard, being a parent in general is hard, but it doesn't mean you need to be entitled about it. He just wants 30 minutes to an hour for games, that seems reasonable for working 12 hours a day. If she deserves a break, so does he. It just seems fair.

[@silvanalucas6403]

Yeah father's tend to make up some weird strange rules that they'll get mad at the kid argues with because they're the head of the household. By that logic they just end up saying some stupid and nonsensical things sometimes and again you're not allowed to argue with it if you do you're being disrespectful. It makes you not want to tell your parents about anything that goes wrong because they'll always come back with some stupid explanation.

[@maroonmaiden6097]

I don't understand why that baby is up later than 9 to 10 o'clock every night! That's the real issue. Maybe if the baby took last naps the baby would go to bed earlier and then they could each have their half an hour to an hour to do their separate things after bed and then come together at the end of the night and have some couples time before bed. No one is wrong, it's just a time management issue

[@Yipyipyay]

🤣 I'm not sure how to respond to this. Dude no. Just no. That's not how babies work and the wife is controlling and crazy.

[@jay2thaudy]

Saying Hi to John Cramer is a very fitting opening for the first story.

[@AlliN644]

Love seeing an upload from you Cue! Keep em coming! 😃

[@cloenemec3612]

For the first story- can confirm that yes, that does come up in therapy later in life lmao

[@lokilaufeyson7193]

The difference in the last story is that yeah they both work multiple hours but the husband still has separate work and home life the wife does not have that separation

[@zirconium2014]

Yeah like I don't see her playing video games but that's when it's husbands time anyways so

[@SpookiCooki]

It shows that cue is American and I'm European in the shoe story. I would say he's 100% the asshole because it's unacceptable to walk around in your outdoor shoes inside a home. It's disgusting and it doesn't matter how "clean" you think they are, you can't see germs dude. Get a pair of indoor shoes and put the soles in them. If that's too much of a hassle then get another pair of soles.

[@fraydizs7302]

Hot take: last guy is absolutely NTA. He does everything to support his family works 12 hours a day and ALL he wants is 30 minutes to himself at the end of the day and his wife can't give him that? She's the problem here. Most women treat men like machines that don't tire out, don't need personal time, don't need mental health breaks. It's 30 freaking minutes. Let the man have his 30 minutes, so he can feel like he actually got to do something he wanted to do for that day, before he goes from doing everything his boss wants him to do, directly to everything his wife wants him to do.

[@URFTBOUND4LIFE]

That first story is gross. He's going to give those kids trust issues. He's basically commiting sting operations on his family. She should break it off before it gets worse for her and her kids... You can't teach life lessons with acts of duplicity....

[@lordshaxx4693]

Bet OP is being an absent father for choosing to sleep at night and going to work, insted of being a 24/7 servant.

[@Jacketsfan96]

Keep uploading man!! Great vid as always

[@Devoughn]

Last story I think she has no intention to ever go back to work. She wants to remain a stay at home wife I think

[@brimanzano5936]

Cue’s been blessing us with the regular uploads. We see you king! ❤️

[@ruse_d_news]

My wife hates video games too. I play 2 hours a night. He probably plays a little more on the weekends but he didn't bring weekends up at all.

[@moogan2000]

The guy in the first post is a TEACHER?? I’d hate to see the shit he pulls on his students, wtf

[@drathonix9930]

I don't understand how anyone could of thought OP was the asshole in the first story. Their fiancé lied about having candy to his future step children to test??? To test what exactly? Whether they would want the candy? Who does that to a child except a psycho?

[@terri3715]

They thought she was the asshole for even thinking of marrying him, they were agreeing with her but i don't think Cue read the comments much.

[@astralloser1177]

the uncle and party issue: why didn’t he just… not go to either party? like… that’s the other option there 😅

[@kayla.godina1802]

My older sister went to a high ranking fancy fine art college with a backloads and is teaching now. I went to community to work 2/3 jobs and worked jobs in my feild of degree. My community college partners with the local 4 year ones. U can graduate with a bachelors and only have 2 years left at a 4 year. U can easily double major also. The nursing program? After a year u can start and internship and partner at local medical offices/ER’s etc. and begin working far quicker with job experience and feild experience before the local 4 year school. I’m doing EMT/EMS program while also finishing my 2 year. I have 5 jobs under my belt since 2016. I’ll start the program in the summer and with the program and job experience I can be able to move up as get paid twice as much as those who don’t have it. Community college starts u actually ahead most of the time. With more life experience which u need in the world

[@tytoalba605]

A half hour decompression period is short most need up to an hour, add game insentives gameing depending on games differ how long you play versus when ready to stop especially if a binge gamer. So depending on how deep a gamer is weather its a red flag or just a personal interest that can be a green flag, though decompression should vary the key isits a lower the stress and calm the mind period. So gameing is just one way to do so .

[@_SquishyShark_]

That mom in the first post is NOT the asshole. Who in their right mind would ever test kids like that and then punish them when they think smart and solve a problem? Now theyre going to have trust issues and wonder when the next "test" is going to be. If i were her i would cancel that wedding asap

[@KäptnKrückschwank]

Dude administered the Kobayashi Maru test on her kids

[@Coira2]

The first one freaks me out. Your partner is settling your kids up to fail ?

[@Scrinwaipwr]

Posture man isn't the arsehole as he is wearing bespoke, clean shoes for inside the house. His mum, surely the health of her son should come before the health of her carpets.

[@anastasiarivera3063]

Does the fiancé who's setting up mind games to teach honesty not realize HE is being dishonest by constantly lying to these children with fake scenarios???? He doesn't have Skittles, so that's a lie. He didn't lose a dollar, so that's a lie. Imagine trying to teach ethics and morality by constantly manipulating people

[@QueenMariposa5]

The dollar scenario would have made for an interesting test of problem solving skills without the gratuitous punishment. Someone lost something important that can't be found, What do you do? It could've also been used to teach kids that not everything can be replaced.

[@sos-pl8pf]

Cue, I think it would be really entertaining to see you cover the r/replika subreddit. It's like waifuism but with that AI. I'd like to hear your take on it

[@cw2010]

First story is something my ex’s father did when we were kids. He was also an all around abusive piece of shit in many different ways so

[@davidbengtsson4964]

Bro the first kid got punished for being smart

[@Sylphella]

I mean to be fair, aita tends to be full of people who probably shouldn't be giving judgements and tend to treat women, especially pregnant women, like they can't do any wrong.

[@InkyCakes]

First story is an actual emotional abuse tactic. Massive red flag. Maybe if this had only been done once and he learned his lesson that it wasn't okay, it would have been fine, but he made it a pattern. Proper discipline has a clear intent: a child does something wrong, you explain what they did wrong, and you take away a privilege for a reasonable amount of time. This is lying and punishing to establish a power dynamic of "you can't lie to me or I'll give you an unreasonable punishment." The kid didn't deserve ALL those things being taken away when he barely did anything wrong, but that's the point. We obviously don't have all the details, but the guy is testing the waters with something benign to see what he can get away as he continues to escalate until it's normal for everyone else in the house. You can also tell that he's trying something because he only talks about HIS authority as a parent. What about HER authority as a parent? She has every right to protect her kids from his unreasonable bullshit tests and punishments. He isn't meeting in the middle, he's trying to take control of this family.

[@WhinyB]

It’s a dollar, he should have never added a reward to losing a dollar…wtf?

[@zombieparrot2606]

The dude with the shoe issue is easy. Get a dedicated pair of shoes for the house only. It’s not hard, buy a new pair of shoes and only wear them in the house.

[@dspencerluyao1088]

my saw hypfix just got woken up by that intro thank u

[@mztweety1374]

Something tells me it’s not just an hour of video games