r/Facepalm {8}

[@lonewolf9578]

As someone from the UK, I formally apologise for that oxygen thief that keeps going into peoples homes

[@sean.furlong1989]

I hope he breaks into the wrong house one day and gets his head kicked in.

[@timmy6890]

Its okay -love America (United States of America in actuality Sorry nerds)

[@Chonkems]

@@timmy6890 I love the central intelligence agency. I'm not fucking joking I absolutely love them.

[@cupwasneverhere]

Nah man it's good. We deal with this shit every day.

[@squrrelinice]

its all right mate its not likes he going around other countries doing it

[@benhazevoet3012]

That first clip perfectly summarises an average night in Britain

[@aaronthe747fan]

You mean England

[@Mechanicalamity]

Minus the Sans cosplayer I’m assuming

[@mr.h4294]

At least when youre not getting stabbed

[@dbio305]

@@aaronthe747fan wtf is the difference lmao

[@angel-nv7jk]

​@@aaronthe747fannah, they meant Europe

[@silverflight01]

5:35 I love the irony. She was literally being hateful and giving advice on how to be abusive, and then when someone points it out, she calls _them_ hateful. Wow.

[@michaelborden4388]

And then people call her a hypocrite and she calls them hateful and jealous 💀

[@rustyshackleford1697]

Some people are just that way. I bet she would slap someone and get upset because her hand stings a bit.

[@HebiHouse]

☕

[@DanteDMCSparda]

@@HebiHouse☕️

[@Neon_Orange56]

I'm pretty sure it's a troll account

[@lordmcbutterfingers3300]

Fun fact, back in the Old Testament times, the act of marriage wasn't always a ceremony. Thecommon factor was sex, the idea was when you and your lover lost your virginities together, you were now married and that was the sign and promise of commitment. The problems would show up if you were unfaithful

[@Grag235]

Huh, that does explain a lot actually, thanks for explaining something about my religion that I didn’t know about!

[@PizzaSteve37]

The amount of bs that actually good cops have to go though is insane

[@Bruh-jz1se]

Fr. Not only They're risking their life by going out and patrolling the streets and dealing with 911 calls, but they also need to deal with their reputation being affected by corrupt scumbags like the one in this video and the others.

[@Nostripe361]

@@Bruh-jz1seyeah this one of those things I don’t understand. Apparently it is common for cops under investigation for misconduct will just quit and apply at another close by police force. Have heard that there is no system for recording police misconduct around the country

[@Bruh-jz1se]

@@Nostripe361 damm. That's pretty sad not gonna lie

[@Davtwan]

They’re just trying to get by in a broken system. Unfortunately they have to deal with broken people too.

[@puchipuchi808]

She's so disrespectful and her daughter doesn't seem to be like that too

[@CassieJo]

The "cotton candy meth" one probably happened because it was "pre-fluffy" cotton candy, as in it was just colored and flavored sugar. In that case, most likely, she was either going to or coming from some kind of festival where she worked at the cotton candy stall. All the police had to do was, you know, look at the local news and see what was happening in their area, or just ask the woman what that was and what she was doing with it. That would have solved all kinds of stuff. And, if they didn't believe her, I'm pretty sure a K-9 unit would have not clued in on the bag of sugar, even if it was under the dog's nose. Foolproof.

[@Blackmark7410]

It's likely if it were a small local PD, that access to labs takes time, and the poor woman couldn't get bail. Seeing that there is a fair or something in the local area in itself wouldn't necessarily be enough to prove innocence as it wouldn't meet an evidentiary standard. Imagine if it were meth and the cop had let her go because there is a fair in town? That too would be a big mess up. They probably expected her to be bailed, then proceed once the labs got back. So in all a combination of several bad circumstances. PD lacks training and experience to tell the difference between raw cotton candy and meth, so arrest her. Because it is potentially a severe crime, as there was probably a significant amount of the stuff, the court places a high bail or denies it pending lab results. Woman cannot make bail due to cost etc or being denied. Because it is a small local PD or a backlog on the labs, it takes months for the lab test to be performed, eventually coming back as negative. Poor innocent woman spends three month in jail waiting to hear back as to whether they are going to prosecute, even though she knows it was just sugar. Unfortunate, but they were just following procedure in their eyes. This is why procedures should be reviewed, training updated, cases like this should be given the resources to get lab results quicker etc. I just hope the lady was given a big apology, and an even bigger compensation.

[@maxhay9098]

Alternative: I was thinking maybe a bag that fell between the passenger seat and the door or something, faced the summer heat with the windows up, melted down and recrystallized as a conspicuously sky-blue, shiny rock. One that still should have SMELLED like pure sugar (since it literally is) but might at least appear like meth

[@squirrel670]

16:09 a male with a positive pregnancy test could be a sign of testicular cancer. They are messed up to be suspending someone for that, and giving out the tests like the result is suspension worthy

[@troudbalos]

Yeah its way more likely that he just asked his girl to piss in the cup instead of him so the test would be negative.

[@troudbalos]

Could be a cool dr house eposode tho

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

Suspension is exactly what that result warrants-so that further testing can be conducted.

[@squirrel670]

@@troudbalos but why would the drug test already include pregnancy? On the off chance someone will use a woman to fake the test that also happens to be pregnant at the time? Edit: Thing is yes, they do include it for that. What a way to find out you're a father

[@troudbalos]

@@squirrel670 people are fucking all the time. Women cheat all the time. Its an easy conclusion that his girl was pregnant and didnt know it so when he tried to cheat and made her piss into the cup instead voila. Thats what you get: realisation the you are a father or that your girl was unfaithful if you didnt fuck without a condom.

[@dimsufferer9951]

Also... We very much know what Cleopatra looked like. She was Macedonian, her face was on coinage Also, for the guy with 4 daughters... He does know that it's the male sex cell that decides gender right? If anything he hasn't given his wife a son “We pay him with our taxes” Girl, there's no way you're older than 14, you don't pay taxes

[@squirrel670]

​@Raye 💖 happens more than it should

[@OldSchoolZ-wy2yx]

​​@Raye 💖 That's obviously not what's happening there. Different people have different values, views and desires; he is ignorant of how pregnancy works and has a very Middle Ages idea of blood lineage. No evidence of misoginy.

[@PapaBearIsHere]

@@OldSchoolZ-wy2yx that is sexist... the whole point is you think woman are inferior and can't take your last name, legally you could technically keep your last name, hes acting like biologically woman aren't his, they're still his kids, they're still his 'bloodline'

[@Titananik]

I saw the original TikTok, that woman screeching about taxes is 23 whole years old

[@dimsufferer9951]

@@Titananik bro, no joke? Didn't act like it

[@skyc-1375]

Well... At least the guy at 12:00 realized his mistake and was at peace with the outcome

[@Duffyboi]

“This is probably pretty dangerous now that I think about it…” *Sounds if water crashing against rocks* “OHP- THERE WE GO-“

[@simp4iniquity26]

Why in the everloving fuck does he sound like RDJ tho

[@slimshead8100]

@@simp4iniquity26 maybe it was him. Lol.

[@caeruleum3496]

It was pretty funny, I would keep that vid in my gallery forever

[@GunsAndAmmo3]

​@@simp4iniquity26wait ur right

[@Sniperboy5551]

The “radioactive boyscout” is dead now. He ended up joining the military (Navy, I think) and afterwards he ended up getting strung out on drugs and dying of a fentanyl overdose. It’s a very sad story.

[@ryan-ln2hx]

Usually how vets go sadly

[@mysterystainontherug6290]

Crazy that it wasn’t the nuclear radiation that was giving him sores didn’t kill him.

[@jare114]

13:40 props to that cop for handling it well

[@Zanemob]

Some people just want to start something and enjoy keeping it up.

[@rule34artist33]

Girl really thought she was being smart smh

[@Jawsomest]

"No, it's so freaking wrong, like no we pay him with our taxes dude, like, they need to respect us, PERIOD." I... feel like they're too young to even be paying taxes yet, no?

[@tyler2141]

The one about the kid that built the reactor is actually kind of a sad story tbh. I think he had an interest in physics and becoming a nuclear engineer, but the school system kinda shut that down and didn’t help him with getting him on the right path to get a degree or jobs, so he basically did that just to do his own experiments. I can’t remember everything from what I saw but I do know he lived a pretty hard life and died fairly young.

[@CheeseMiser]

Died of alcoholism sasildy

[@NEEDbacon]

@@CheeseMiser You know, I would have thought the RADIATION would have got him before anything. More you know.

[@johnpollution]

they took away his bloody valentines day balloons from his gf cuz they thought they had nuclear substances inside

[@alfalldoot6715]

You just made a whole ass fanfiction to defend a guy who got a whole neighborhood radiation poisoning. We get it. You got shit grades, so you blame everything wrong in the universe on the school system.

[@minigundozer14]

@@johnpollution to be fair, if someone told me they had a nuclear reactor in their car, I would too

[@rexmartin1048]

Imagine hearing one of your scouts build a nuclear And now you have to move out your neighborhood.

[@Frenchfrye-qg2on]

Bro we love you ❤ Edit:my dumbass meant to post it on the comments 💀 not as a reply sorry bro 😂

[@Antarctica5822]

That's some Phineas and Ferb type shit

[@jonehret6221]

It was for an Atomic energy merit badge. The badge was originally just for the scouts to learn about nuclear energy and how it works. Nobody expected a 17 year old kid to get his hands on uranium and thorium

[@straycatsoup]

@@jonehret6221 so happy that someone knows

[@rexmartin1048]

@@Frenchfrye-qg2on well thanks any way

[@o_Keiiran]

The wind surfing one wasn't really face palm just terrifying

[@super_manul1167]

what happend

[@dubst0652]

I really hope he’s alright it’s really scary

[@atlandfrisk]

the police car trying to hit the motercycle was also scary

[@Alex_the_Autist]

Nothing better than a panda with opinions

[@shebahammy]

Your username

[@CatNigga]

You...

[@lenkamikova915]

What about panda with onions

[@idiamondz1487]

goated username

[@CatNigga]

@@idiamondz1487 thanks

[@nitrolight1778]

12:30 The worst part I think about the Bison incident is the fact they decided to kill the Bison instead of re-homing it. Definitely could have made a nice addition to a wildlife education center since it wanted to be around humans and was rejected by its herd. The guy was not aware which is his fault sure, but he was also trying to help that calf cross a river and had no bad intentions.

[@focus1809]

Pretty sure it would've drowned in the water

[@foogod4237]

Wildlife centers that actually have the resources and expertise to properly take care of an immature bison left on its own are extremely rare and generally overcrowded already. There are also laws prohibiting the transport of these animals outside of the national park, so they would not have been actually legally allowed to do that anyway. People like to think we live in a perfect little world where everything can just work out and be happy if you want it to enough, but we just don't. The animal was not just "friendly", it was actually becoming _potentially dangerous_ to people, would not have been able to survive on its own without its herd, and there really was no other place it could realistically be taken, so this was pretty much the only option they had left. (And it was never in danger of drowning in the first place. It was just on the bank, separated from the rest of the herd. It might well have made its way back eventually without any help, if it had just been left alone.)

[@mattgroening8872]

Why are you subscribed to illuminaughti

[@Bruh-jz1se]

​@@mattgroening8872 because they have the right to choose whomever they subscribe to?

[@thunderousavenger2382]

​@@Bruh-jz1semy man, seems you arent aware of the recent controversies surrounding that channel.

[@o07t28]

the horny text message was actually GENIUS

[@mikul8581]

Ong

[@KitsuneRokaku]

Ikr

[@Sockren]

modern internet might suck ass but atleast we can abuse it

[@NEEDbacon]

"There's hot singles in your area PSYKE, it's the plumber you've been dodging but he's got you now"

[@dogwithhat947]

14:52 props to the mom and brother for staying calm and Emily must’ve had a lobotomy Also that ending felt more like a skit 😂

[@southernladyish]

She seems lovely.. I hope no man (or woman) ever attempts to endure that bc NO poon is ever worth that kind of nasty hate. I feel so bad for the mom and brother.. and we’ll, anyone who comes into contact with her. That level of anger plus entitlement is dangerous.

[@KitsuneRokaku]

I wish she had gotten arrested for wasting resources. She called them to help for a frivolous reason and she gets snippy because they're "invading her privacy". She must be hiding something.

[@Jawsomest]

@@KitsuneRokaku She had drugs in that bacon xD

[@prettymadman1224]

I think that’s not his ID guys

[@Aglieman]

nah that’s his ID you on crack tbh

[@shebahammy]

Nahhhhh…………….. REALLY???????????????????

[@abs_4_days710]

No that's definitely his ID

[@globalwarrior16]

Shut up Carl

[@AdiG1]

@@shebahammy r/whoooooosh

[@PicketPolecat]

16:00 I actually heard somewhere that a positive reading for pregnancy tests with men are potential signs of testicular cancer, so I'd get that checked out either way

[@abrahamnegreteG]

I was about to say that lmao

[@absolutezerochill2700]

It turns out he really just wanted to dodge so he got his girlfriend to pee in the cup, and now he knows he's gonna be a father! But if he had to dodge it, yeah, he deserves that suspension

[@Blue_potat]

I actually watched Deadpool in theaters when under 18. My mom bought the ticket and the box office person told us several times it was rated R. I don't know how that person missed all the signs and warnings. It's amazing how stupid some people are

[@sharonrigs7999]

And yet bringing young children to a highly sexualized drag show is AOK with Looney Lefties

[@kadincemoschella6565]

I thought it was ok for people under 18 to watch a r rated movie as long as you have a parent or guardian with them

[@seeableninja4199]

​@@kadincemoschella6565 it is just that well um its Deadpool so like the guy (or women) was probably trying to make sure that if the mother truly knew what she was in for.

[@kadincemoschella6565]

@@seeableninja4199 fair, just thought it was trying to get blue and their mom out of the movie theater for a stupid reason but your response is much much more likely

[@levievil9220]

@@kadincemoschella6565 there are movies that are rated R and then there’s also other rated R movies called hard R aka they’re rated R yes but they make the normal movies that are rated R look like pg-13 movies at best

[@1974vadra]

sharples def had a lot to drink that night

[@Iamalivefornow]

I think he was on drugs

[@abs_4_days710]

I love that the bouncer teased him

[@whyiwakeup6460]

what do you mean he *clearly* handed in his ID, did you not see the video?

[@abs_4_days710]

@@whyiwakeup6460 who said that? I think ur in the wrong comment thread

[@whyiwakeup6460]

@@abs_4_days710 is joke

[@randomcomentor16]

11:38 Honestly, that does sound like the kind of joke Family guy would do

[@timdatanuki2375]

I agree with the flight attendant, if someone managed to be 35,000 feet in the air on the side of the plane and is trying to peep, I’d just let him.

[@TyphoonTYUIOP]

Yellowstone: *"Don't touch the baby animals, or else we will have to kill the baby animals, I'm warning you!"*

[@SonOfABitch777]

Honestly, the threat against baby animals is more effective than a threat against me.

[@bendingdemon6483]

It was either euthanasia or drowning....... that calf had no chance either way. They could have put it in a wildlife place where people study their behavior but nah, let's just go the PETA route and kill it

[@shadowthedemonicwolf4410]

He was trying to help it get back to its herd

[@mr.scientist5507]

Ok so before everyone starts ripping into David, "the nuclear boy scout," note that this happened in 1994 and he died in 2016. He was a very bright, albeit foolish, boy with a passion for science, without a propper setting/supervision to safely express his interests. Not absolving him for his negligence, but I'm impressed he was knowledgeable and resourceful enough to do what he did. Hindsight is 20/20 and David realized this especially after the removal of his lab and the death of his mother caused him to slip into a depression where his academics gradually slipped. His reputation as the nuclear boy scout followed him through his brief career in the navy where he was on a nuclear powered aircraft carrier, but was never allowed to work in the nuclear department. His mental health continued to fail after realizing his scientific aspirations were ultimately finished. He died in 2016, due to a combination of a drug overdose and alcohol poisoning. As for the community around his lab, no material actually leaked out into the surrounding environment, what likely did escape was probably minor particles, which mainly impacted him due to proximity to the neutron source. This isn't to say it wasn't dangerous, just that a disaster didn't happen and the town wasn't harmed. I couldn't find any data on the town itself after the incident, so if anyone does, please let me know. What can we learn from this? David was a bright kid and would've had a great scientific career if he could have learned to manage his scientific gifts early on instead of being so reckless. We need bright kids like him and programs to help them develop their gifts.

[@mrhatnclogs116]

10:06 can't wait for this dude to have a son and the kid changes his last name because this dude is very clearly a terrible father

[@foogod4237]

Maybe he'll get lucky and one of his "girls" will grow up to be trans :)

[@mrhatnclogs116]

@@foogod4237 I was kinda thinking the same thing for the son as well since the son turning out to be trans would also be poetic justice

[@mrhatnclogs116]

@@nonyab5640 can confirm this is correct

[@marktaft]

It's not bad to long for a son to continue your heritage...it IS bad to whine about it on the internet and contemplate cheating. His daughters will see it.

[@deathpie24]

What people forget is that you don't have to take the last name It is an old tradition, not a requirement

[@mompernl]

10:02 the real facepalm is the fact that it is the SPERM that decides the child’s gender, not the egg. The problem isn’t his wife; it’s him.

[@utatanepiko7087]

13:35 I want to punt Emily so bad (this comment is also assuming that her brother is telling the truth) 1. Locked her mom out of the house. My parents would've grounded me for that 2. Called the cops and didn't want to listen to him despite the fact, as he said, she made him their business 3. "They hung up on me" Of course they did. I think the only times they don't hang up is when you're in ACTIVE DANGER like when a burglar is in your house 4. Called the cops because all her brother did was drop a tote 5. Cop most likely didn't want her to close the door because he already knew she locked the door on her mom. Even respected the law since he didn't have a warrant and stayed outside This could've been worse. You hear on the news all the time of cops stealing small expensive items from homes, shooting an animal, escalating situations instead of calming it down, etc. and yet she goes on about privacy? What the fuck is he going to see from the front door? People like this irritates me so much Edit since this clip specifically lives rent free in my mind right now 6. If her brother is telling the truth, she's a disrespectful brat and this is pretty much run-of-the-mill for her 7. Argues with her mother when the cop pulls brother aside to talk to him since he (the cop) was called out there anyway because of something he did 8. "I pay for your salary." Immediate red flag behavior when someone says that to any working person

[@troudbalos]

Wtf is a tote lmao?

[@JakSoulbright]

@@troudbalos a tote bag. Cylindrical usually and with an over the shoulder strap to carry on your back or hang at your side. Totes are what most people pack clothing or toiletries in for short trips away from home. It’s like a bigger purse.

[@elanrg]

@@JakSoulbrightbeat me to it

[@troudbalos]

@@JakSoulbright so she called the police cuz he thru a bag???

[@bombdotcom2168]

The cop was so respectful the whole time like bruh. That Emily chick sounds batshit insane

[@marcobonanno6923]

the bison calf story I understood, the calf was being abandoned by its family and was going to drown in the river so the man went into the water and "saved" it. Basically the guy had good intentions.

[@bloodmade5594]

as a security guard at a casino, this first one is Hilarious and sad at the same time

[@Jernichq]

the fact that a boyscout made a nuclear reactor is impressive but the fact he fit it in a shed was even more impressive But.. Who forgot to tell him that nuclear reactors in sheds dont mix well

[@bluebirbas]

And how did nobody try to verify who he was claiming to be before giving him the information he needed?

[@RockingGuide]

8:04 she's spitting facts honestly. I think we've existed long enough if people are going to be as stupid as we've seen in this video

[@raymartcarreon6069]

Agreed

[@SetTheSeasAblaze]

At 12:56 shes actually right though. The AI requires so much energy to work that they need to use water to cool off the computers from overheating.

[@dbio305]

Water which… evaporates? I don’t see the problem here

[@SetTheSeasAblaze]

@@dbio305 if there is a required amount of water being used for those PCs that means that the water can't be used for anything else and is therefore not renewable unless the computers are shut down

[@lachlanchester8142]

@@dbio305it doesn’t count as excess water use if it evaporates?

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

@@lachlanchester8142the water could be mixed in with other chemicals that would make it harmful to come back down as rain, just a thought, idk if this is the case

[@dbio305]

@@blizzard_the_seal9863 To all of you guys, water doesn’t gain chemicals in the cooling of computers. It rarely evaporates when done properly, and the water used for this task is typically not drinkable. On a planet whose surface is 74% ocean, you’d think we’d be okay cooling hardware with some of it.

[@q.k.69420]

I think the moral of this video is that actions have consequences

[@AbrasiousProductions]

The lesson i got from this video is that hipsters suck

[@-._Radixerus_.-]

15:50 "i picked up a tote, i dropped a tote, and then i went to my room" 5 bucks he LAUNCHED that tote into the sun

[@TailGreat]

"this is kinda dangerous now that i think about it" famous last words

[@goshdarnchicken]

16:14 my mother works for a clinic scheduling appointments and she's had this same thing happen. She met a lady for an appointment who told her she was so much nicer than the woman she spoke to on the phone. Difference is my mother didn't hesitate to inform her that the two people she spoke to were one in the same

[@themonkeymang]

Hey Ailurus, Sorry to share sick dog sadness but I just had to say goodbye to my dog and your videos never fail to make me smile. Keep being you.

[@Toby-is-here]

You always post on June 16th which is my birthday and it is always the favorite part of my birthday and next week my birthday is on a Friday which is when you upload. Thank you for making your videos a highlight of my past few birthdays :)

[@KitsuneRokaku]

17:13 This was brilliant. Sometimes you gotta get creative when someone is ripping you off 😂

[@musicalicarus7322]

13:30 Honestly not too much of a face palm. Kid admitted they doesn’t really know what they’re talking about, which is already a far step above most of the other people in these videos. And then they make a lightly educated guess based on observations in the world around them. Even if it’s wrong, it’s fun to think about the possibilities

[@Tamslop]

Exactly, it’s a young kid fascinated with science, I think there’s a chance they started on a physics class, I remember learning about the speed of light early on in a physics course.

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

Probably not an actual kid, more likely a middle-aged stoner who thinks he just came up with the most enlightened idea in history.

[@Tamslop]

@@DistractedGlobeGuy I wouldn’t be surprised by that explanation either, because honestly.. I’d also claim that I’m 14 if I’m making claims like that lol

[@kentskitchen4427]

8:30 my uncle spent some time in jail after they tested the ashes of my cousin, his son, and it came back as "Possibly cocaine"

[@dbio305]

Lmao

[@Megalon-qc8pf]

9:50 No, she’s the spy

[@ianh1504]

I moved out of my last apartment in december, they listed it for $200 more and its still vacant in june. My mom moved out of her place in april and theyre also still failing to find renters. Its very satisfying to see these vultures masquerading as landlords lose money

[@lunareyes1394]

16:05 (I KNOW THAT THIS DOES NOT APPLY FOR THIS STORY PROBABLY) Sometimes, a man can show that he is pregnant if he has SPECIFIC forms of testicular cancer - some forms of those make the body create human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), which is what pregnant women have to make sure the body continues to create progesterone, which keeps the pregnancy going. So if you're a man and you do a pregnancy test for fun and it comes out positive, please go get tested!

[@officersoulknight6321]

13:00 Even though he’s VERY wrong (Darkness is the absence of light; the light doesn’t retract, it disappears outward, scattering and diminishing or being converted into other kinds of energy. Picture a bunch of spheres coming out from your lamp and hitting your eye. This is light. When the lamp gets turned off, the lamp just stops spitting spheres. There’s no retraction, just the light going away into other forms of energy like heat.) But back to my original point, even though he’s VERY wrong, being stupid is the first step of learning something. He may be wrong, but at least he decided to think about something and contribute to the world around him, and I respect that, especially at that age.

[@perspective7131]

THAT PLUMBER IS GOATED

[@daneeko]

i love how many layers of facepalm there are to the nuclear reactor story

[@Death2all546]

Especially the part when he started getting worried that he might be putting others in danger then waits a month to do anything about it.

[@Dachsie_Drella]

12:21 As a South Dakotan Rancher whose family raises bison, and not to mention South Dakota also has the most bison in the entire US, tourists never learn. They just never learn, they think fluffy cows are friendly. One time this one woman trespassed onto another rancher's land to take selfies with a bison calf and she almost got killed by the mother and then had the audacity to try to sue the ranchers.

[@shadowthedemonicwolf4410]

The calf was being separated from its family as it was struggling to cross a river. Please actually look into the story rather than just reading the headlines.

[@raoulduke344]

That first oner had me rolling. It's like a British live-action remake of a US cartoon, only they say "fuck off, Carl" instead of "dammit, Beavis".

[@republicball3024]

You see? That hipster one only proves the Article’s point that all hipsters look alike. Like yeah, with your beard, sunglasses, craft beer, Starbucks coffee, of course you’ll look exactly like some other hipster.

[@frippfink]

8:32 They do have testers but they happen to be shitty. There was a case in Florida where a cop tested what he thought was meth & got a false positive only to lose his badge and get sued when it turned out to be glaze from a Krispy Kreme Donut.

[@Unlikely_Neutral]

The 14 year old talking about darkness did notice that the speed of darkness is faster than the speed of light which is a good sign for his observation skills but it’s hilarious his mind went straight to ‘Woahhh it must be time traveling’ 😂

[@mrhatnclogs116]

10:39 remember when parents were taking their kids to see sausage party because all they saw was "animated" and assumed it was family friendly?

[@tinosdragatsis]

The pro basketball player story was actually because of fraud. It turned out it was his girlfriend's pee on the test, not his own. And since the basketball league could not know if he faked his other tests using the same method, he was suspended.

[@noizthegoblin]

I had a customer tell me I was so much nicer than the person she talked to on the phone before she came into the store. All calls to the store were directed to the service desk. I was the only person working there that shift. I was the only person at the desk. It was me. I was nicer than me.

[@ChristochatBTW]

The daily wire was calling him a has been basically... So using a picture of an award he won in the past isn't unreasonable

[@absolutezerochill2700]

Plus, ttg has gotten an Emmy So honestly, I wouldn't be very proud of it

[@maustank5224]

The guy with 4 daughters thinks he's King Henry VIII 💀

[@ZFairVII]

Sharpels is tripping on every single edible known to man

[@lordpickle4462]

Man that plumber had me laughing my ass off

[@sergiomartiez7928]

I love how that girl that says she pays there salary is clearly the one everyone in the family can't stand

[@Ramsey276one]

0:01 he's not drunk... He's AN ALCOHOL-BASED LIFEFORM! XD

[@Supernova2464]

6:57 actually saw a short on this! Apparently scooters aren’t allowed on the highway; however, the why the officer went about dealing with it is highly dangerous and illegal

[@Tamslop]

Exactly. He could’ve safely pulled over the driver of the motorcycle, instead he decided to put everyone around him in danger

[@Supernova2464]

@@Tamslop I don’t understand why he didn’t, did he have to pull out of the drive-thru at Dunkin’ Donuts to respond to the call?

[@cdestroyer2180]

8:25 I think what was meant was the crystals that you pour into the machines before its all puffy. Not hard to get and smaller machines are somewhat cheap

[@hkayakh]

I like how in the first clip his friend tries to tell him that it’s a pair of keys but the bouncer keeps playing with him

[@SuperRobo8121]

At 3:48 I really thought the irony was that he’s 17 making his mom’s backyard radioactive 20 years ago

[@thesquiddler]

To be fair to DW, have you seen who are winning things in awards shows nowadays?

[@error4v0r47]

One good panda a day keeps the depression away.

[@piezku]

How do you prepare it, or do you eat it straight out from the grill?

[@error4v0r47]

How the hell did I miss these replies it’s been 6 months.

[@TheScarletSlayer]

13:15 Darkness is faster than light. The dark is already everywhere at all times. The light is just passing through.

[@foxymetroid]

Technically, darkness isn't a thing. Instead, it's the lack of a thing (light).

[@TheScarletSlayer]

@@foxymetroid yeah we called that lack of light darkness

[@caananlemke]

​@@TheScarletSlayer But light physically exists as photons. Darkness is nothing.

[@TheScarletSlayer]

@@caananlemke exactly, nothing is the absence of something. Nothing will never be but is already. The nothing is already everywhere and is just filled by something's.

[@人間-失格]

2:30 Lmao, I love how her name is indeed, Karen.

[@Supernova2464]

11:01 to play devils advocate, I think Blue was joking

[@nehalarafa8260]

what's devils advocate?

[@yourlocaltapeworm]

​@@nehalarafa8260i think it's like a deviled egg but with an avocado instead of an egg.

[@nehalarafa8260]

@@yourlocaltapeworm thx :)

[@nivington]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE THE STARBUCKS ONE HURT MY SOUL

[@Nanami_Mitaka]

At 16:06, it means he has cancer, right? because he tested positive for pregnancy.

[@tacotaco288]

Yes that is also completely likely. Though they probably confirmed whether it was drugs or not.

[@crazyjack746]

His wife may have done the test for him

[@TGWT]

11:08 bro, I can’t stop laughing at how stupid this is.

[@Gypsy-Tongue]

5:55 Use the tactics of your enemy to defeat them

[@levievil9220]

Ten bucks that’s his girlfriend and she didn’t realize yet

[@-HopeIsNeat-]

10:22 aren't men the one responsible for the gender of the kid in genetics? Also that's horrible that he flat out doesn't care about the fact he made 4 daughters

[@nunyabisnass1141]

8:35, yea they have testers for that, and the field test the cop was using tested positive, which is why the cop arrested her. She spent three months in jail because they were waiting for rhe lab test to come back, and there was aomethong really screwed up with rhe araignment. So yes, cops are allowed to use faulty equipment, they are allowed to lie to you, they are not required to know the laws they enforce and they have less training than a plumber.

[@willfultrain6779]

10:37 that reminds me of my sister in-law showing my niece and nephew the sausage party movie thinking it was a kids movie...

[@christiancrow]

15:15 that robe is setting off alarms ‼️

[@aidenflame1576]

Yesss like it seems weird. Why was she wearing that

[@georgegeorge9698]

Not the affair lady being named Karen 💀

[@voidcorvid]

1:24 dude is staring at the camera like he's from the Shining.

[@cpltitan8975]

First time I ever heard a KZbinr saying asphalt instead of tarmac

[@eyesyt7571]

0:57 But Emmy's do hold about as much weight as a participation trophy.

[@WadeWelch-m4z]

Something I learned last month from breaking bad is that cotton candy starts as crystals.

[@arthas640]

Don't tell the tweakers, or they'll be eating cotton meth

[@silverflight01]

12:13 Some people just can't read a pecking sign.

[@bendingdemon6483]

The full thing is that he saved it from drowning and they killed it

[@ChristopherSibert]

The first guy is the perfect example of someone who is "blind drunk" 🤣

[@officialfsandwichofeleague]

8:27 No man, you don't get it. They obviously saw the microscopic crystals of sugar in the cotton candy, which made then think it was meth! Duh

[@archamedies616]

"SHARPLES, THAT'S NOT YOUR ID!" this is the best start to a video so far

[@goddhowarddiscipleofobama]

7:21 I didn’t know plastic could cry! Wow!

[@TayumeTheMuffinMan]

Fun fact, they still haven't gotten the asphalt off of that guy's hand, and are considering amputation. Hope it was worth it, dude.

[@AlD3N]

I love that stuff. I know I might sound evil but I have seen them block ambulances and moms trying to getting to their sick kids.

[@TayumeTheMuffinMan]

​@AlD3N I don't like it when it happens, but I can't say I'm sorry for them, either. You reap what you sow, and what not.

[@notmuch_23]

Ionizing-method detectors with Americium are falling out of favor now for infrared detectors, probably because there are fewer false positives/alarms from particulates not related to a flame, like burnt cooking.

[@raphaeldagamer]

Did that individual claim that water gets wasted in a way that involves the computers? Okay, some high powered computers need lots of cooling, so some of them do use a water-based cooling system, but I don't believe that translates to water being wasted. I do not believe any other argument could be made that would involve water and computers in any capacity, and I'll give you a little lesson as to why. I am very familiar with how computers work, so I know for a fact that they run on magic smoke, and if you put water on a computer, all the magic smoke flies away, so the computer doesn't work after that.

[@ha7vds]

5:06 WHERE EVEN IS THE WATER ANYMORE???

[@darkangel_1978]

Ailurus: I used to be an Easy Coaster, and now I live in the South. Went back East recently, and let me tell you other than missing friends, family and the seafood, I don't miss living there. It's getting way too built up. I prefer where I live now.

[@jogen906]

7:51 In Genesis 3:6 it refers to Adam as Eve's husband.

[@Josh_the_jester]

Imagine getting catfished by a business owner you owe money to

[@dragonwarrior1013]

The moment I take advice from a Kardashian is the moment I lock myself up for being criminally stupid

[@NEOET]

13:19 "by moving at the speed of darkness, Ansem was able to make this plot even more confusi-i mean time travel.'

[@ImWallace799]

The 30 seconds of ads before the video really build up the hype. Thanks Youtbe, though I have an adblocker

[@comradeeverclear4063]

Think with the cop, they actually DONT have to leave the door open. It is an option to close it. Granted if an unreasonable time passes and the door remains closed, they can then breach it lawfully under reasonable suspicion i.e. probable cause.

[@47ratsinahoodie]

The cop was probably trying to avoid the probable cause situation and just make sure everyone was okay and not stay longer than he needed to