r/insanepeoplefacebook Top Posts of All Time

[@sampletext4481]

“Oh sure, let him drink.” *”He’s circumcised.”* *Everyone collectively gasps*

[@AndroxineVortex]

Everyone collectively claps

[@sensienccneicnec5317]

Everyone collectively checks then.... He has the best day of his life

[@charlesuzozie5747]

So your telling me *smacks lips* that your circumcised.

[@yousefghuniem5575]

R/nocontext

[@gi-hun9777]

Your username is literally the definition of i had a stroke

[@LowerRank5]

fun fact: the guy who published the paper about vaccines causing autism had his medical license revoked. so uh just to let y’all know

[@Zhfreak]

Marsh “...Und when ze patient woke up, the vaccine gave him autism, and ze doktor vas never heard from again! Hahaha oh... anyvay, zat is how I lost my medical license.”

[@sadie_cat]

He lost it BEFORE publishing the paper too

[@SpoopyChicken]

and he also admitted to being bribed by the anti-vaccination group to create said paper in the first place

[@kilroy6429]

But he’s right. Because your kids live long enough to develop autism spectrum disorder.

[@Dec.H]

If this video taught me anything it's that you gotta spell words like y'all with commas

[@GippyHappy]

Saying “sweaty” instead of “sweety” is the funniest thing in the world to me. _It’s called history, sweaty_

[@ryanjansenbaranda8556]

kind of insulting too

[@ovo7146]

GippyHappy I do it on purpose 😂

[@Fritter_Films]

LOL reminds me of Diary Of a Wimpy Kid. Hilarious.

[@theneighborhoodidiot7768]

that's some sweaty history

[@SketchUT]

Put on some deodorant sweaty ;)

[@hngh6404]

“The bible was entirely written by the greatest American who ever lived: Jesus” Amazing. Every word you just said there, was wrong...

[@IrishGuysScarf]

Also, Jesus died early on in the New Testament. Soooooo

[@2007ghettonissanaltima]

Who the hell thinks Jesus is American?

[@nataliemanahan5168]

Me(Inwardly): But the Bible is made up multiple books written by multiple authors...

[@randompromises1038]

i'm not christian and yet even i know that's not right. first of all, jesus was jewish-

[@hngh6404]

Actually, why is Jesus white in so many paintings? He’s Israeli, right?

[@TheNormExperience]

“Every time I see a cat outside I take it’s collar off!” There aren’t enough curse words in my vocabulary for this person.

[@orcalord8166]

What the fuck is wrong with them?!

[@goompo]

*To the swear word dictionary!*

[@TheNormExperience]

Grayson Tartt LoL, for some reason I added Batman at the end of your comment when I read it out loud; “To the swear word dictionary Batman!” Seriously tho, a swear word dictionary should be a thing, if it isn’t already. Talk about a moneymaker.

[@goompo]

@@TheNormExperience "Holy #%$ing #*@$, Batman!"

[@miaomiaochan]

Cars, coyotes and crazy PETA people: reasons why cats are better off inside.

[@roundants4393]

"Before vaccines, there were no homosexual people!" *The ancient greeks cough*

[@serfuzzypushover1160]

Not just the ancient 👌🏼

[@Supremekrispykream]

Leonardo da vinci: laughing in ITALIAN

[@vrtualmria]

Julius Ceasar : am i a joke to you

[@CircusSabre]

*shakespear cheated on his wife with dudes and other women so he kinda counts.*

[@andrewvanhorne4359]

It's not gay if it's Greek. No homo if Hellenic. Fuck those Latins though, Senatus PopulusQueer Reemedanus, amirite?

[@sajidanoor5447]

" ban childless MOMs " **confused noises**

[@ghulam237]

Confused child noises

[@hodson_134]

kim_taetae Confused screaming noises

[@desireeloveros1055]

**Anti vax mom noises**

[@caiteybetts1423]

@@desireeloveros1055 I could hear th8s comment

[@xLionsxxSmithyx]

Theights....

[@JosephBallin320]

"John, do you mind telling me why you're 30 minutes late?" "Sorry boss I'm just racist"

[@jjuicy_wee_wee3800]

"Aye no worries fam we all be racing sometimes just get to work"

[@andrewnovak1390]

to be fair, it was the NYPD conference, so, being racist is kinda the requirement

[@flyingpaladin617]

It might shock you to know that Islam isn't a race

[@Carnage7209]

Well at least he wouldn't have to worry about the cab he was in being used as a vbied..

[@nobodyimportant9603]

@@flyingpaladin617 no, but how would he immediately know the cab driver is Muslim? He wouldn’t. He’s assuming based on the stereotype that middle easterners are all Muslims

[@MrBlackLenses]

Kinda seems like she’s just jealous of people without kids lmao

[@supermegadeath309]

Christovajal i know lol. her kids were probably accidents.

[@satan1335]

Dhmo is water

[@pacosagredo8358]

This is a classic example of displacement, a defense mechanism in which the person protects their identity and beliefs by projecting their unacceptable thoughts and feelings onto others. She probably has an unconscious idea, "Being a mother is awful" or "I wish I had never become a mother", and feels disappointed and overwhelmed, but sees these thoughts and feelings as unacceptable. Thus, she blatantly despises anyone who is not a mother instead, that way those feelings can come out in the form of anger and hate, which people much rather have than sadness and disappointment.

[@satan1335]

@@thesoopersooper Hello chilx

[@MrBlackLenses]

Sown Intergral955 it’s the same idea as when people who are really homophobic end up being gay. They hate the fact that they have these urges so they take it out on people who are okay with them and act on it, because they not only hate themselves for having the urges, they hate people who have the freedom to act on their own urges.

[@TheCapelessCrusader]

"Before vaccinations, there were virtually no gay people" Tell that to the Ancient Greeks.

[@anthonymansfield9626]

Yep, choosing to get to know their fellow soldiers with a night to remember

[@meepermoppers8523]

and cowboys

[@thebitgamer2425]

Ancient olympics they wrestled naked

[@redblue5474]

we stan sappho

[@WillyP-s3f]

Yeah, we were just not as open about gay back then, but now it is a point of interest

[@morganvonbogel9918]

I just love it when they throw in the “and everyone clapped” thing. It is great, because it didn’t happen.

[@SixBillionScreams]

Or it did happen, but only because she left the store.

[@morganvonbogel9918]

@@SixBillionScreams Damn lol

[@PotatoMC1]

/r/thathappened

[@isabelvictoria160]

that never happens lmao XD

[@remc0s]

"And everyone fapped."

[@KitsuneYojimbo]

"Teleiophiles" "Attracted to older women who are 18+" So in other words.... Normal people.

[@heckingbamboozled8097]

I mean, I can obviously understand if the dude was 16 or something... but that clearly wasn't the case.

[@smilesxo06]

Yup that's what was said in the video, thanks for repeating it

[@KitsuneYojimbo]

@@snailuka Well that's just normal. You shouldn't want someone 18+ if you're not 18. I'd be a bit more worried if it was the other way around.

[@KitsuneYojimbo]

@@lordeverett5642 Actually, that was a helpful explanation.

[@formuoli]

A teleiophile is an underage person who is attracted to older people.

[@KoiKat_]

"A pig is cross bred between a muskrat, bob cat and hyena" That's... That's not how genetics works...

[@sparkz6349]

Obviously that's how it works. How do you think pigs exist?

[@Carnage7209]

Pig and elephant dna just don't splice

[@noahcarver1707]

I may or may not have shouted AUROCHS!! WE FUCKIN KILLED EM ALL! at my screen just seconds before that bit.

[@0rbeez]

@@noahcarver1707 thanks to this comment, I now know about aurochs

[@ChaotiX1]

@@noahcarver1707 There are many efforts today to reproduce Aurochs. Farmers are selectively breeding the biggest and strongest cows and bulls in hopes that they can isolate the gene sequence of the ancient cows. I mean, it shouldnt be that hard. theyve only been extinct for 400 years.

[@nataliem5425]

The rate of autism hasn't gone up, the rate of diagnosed autism has gone up. Idk why this is so hard for anti vaxxers to understand lol

[@pavelazap8520]

@Newsman I'm pretty sure that's fact.

[@hakasek4052]

The clinics also keep widening and widening the umbrella of what medically constitutes "autism" for the sake of diagnosing 'behavioral problems'. It pisses me off that schools get paid more for 'special needs' children, since it creates a perverse incentive to diagnose students and load healthy children full of drugs. The two years I was in public school they dragged my ass off to the counselor for every little excuse they could come up with to try and diagnose me with autism. Just because I'd rather not hang out with the 30 losers who do nothing but make racist comments and talk about dicks all day and instead hang out with the five people who I actually share common interests with doesn't make me medically secluded or anti-social. If someone is keeping to themselves, shy, socially awkward, or very into one topic (A nerd if you will) that doesn't mean there's a problem with their brain that needs medication. It means they're a human being with their own personality that doesn't necessarily match 100% of other students.

[@ILikeToLaughAtYou]

Or people who are pro-plane control I guess lmfao

[@ratt_ler4261]

@@hakasek4052 OMG same. I got dragged to the office for arguing with my english teacher about getting out of a group because all they did was make dick jokes and harass me. I had also worked on other projects with these SAME PEOPLE and gotten multiple bad grades because I got stuck with all the work on a 30 slide presentation due the next freaking day. They tried to tell my parents I was having "social issues", and I deadass told the principle that I would rather split the work evenly between me and one other person instead of getting 4 other people's jobs thrown back in my face.

[@cloud0927]

@@ratt_ler4261 Sounds like a really bad teacher. Move out of his/her class asap. Lol, 10 multiple bad grades? Get out of there now, why didn't the first few bad grades you got tell you that?

[@redlibra1446]

"Before vaccines, there were no homesexual people!" Every gay person in history (including Roman Emperor Nero) before vaccines were invented: Am I a joke to you?

[@DoctorKidemonas]

Apollo laughs in ancient Greek.

[@justkrystopher3021]

Alexander Hamilton laughs in the distance

[@DoctorKidemonas]

@@justkrystopher3021 hold up. Hamilton had a wife and children, and got blasted for cheating with the wife of a dude named Reynolds, in Hamiltons own bed.

[@redlibra1446]

And that's not to say that the husband isn't guilty for his part of the controversy either. Sure he was pissed at her for being enough of a whore to sleep with him, but he had blackmailed Hamilton and it was through this blackmailing, that Hamilton was allowed to see her and sleep with her, while his wife, sister-in-law, and kids were away. Hamilton exposed himself after someone accused him of embezzling money from the bank and he had James Calendar (the human tool who was used by everyone back then) publish it. It was because of this that everyone found out, even his wife, who was understandably outraged by the news. But their son's tragedy brought them back together. And the only person who Hamilton had a close relationship with, that would even be *REMOTELY CLOSE* to being gay, is with a dude named John Laurens, who was one of his bffs.

[@mortimer687]

Ancient Filipinos laugh in Ancient Tagalog

[@bongwater2290]

Let’s be a little reasonable on the lug nut one... spent 7 hours trying to get ONE stripped aluminum lug nut off and it will make you contemplate an axe

[@samschannel531]

Or a noose

[@imveryangryitsnotbutter]

@@samschannel531 I didn't know a noose could apply more torque than a wrench!

[@Alicorn_]

If it's aluminum all the way through, and whatever it's attached to is steel, you could have probably melted it off with a propane torch.

[@microTrash28]

@@Alicorn_ Why the fuck would the lug but be made of aluminium?

[@doplop]

what the hell is a lug nut

[@DoodleNoodle-YT]

"WHY DONT YOU HAVE A CHILD!?" "I'm 8" _"AAAAAAAAAA!"_

[@lord_berkut2426]

I mean that is a pretty good reason to not have a child

[@doomerius1300]

@@lord_berkut2426 not for hateful parents, who fucked their lifes with damn kids. There's no argument

[@GippyHappy]

I love the profile pic

[@hUh--]

I agree that's the dumbest logic ever

[@mr.walter6973]

Walter

[@daughter-of-sappho]

"My kid was miserable at Disney World because toddlers tend to not like standing in lines for three hours in the hot Florida sun, but somehow it's the childless women's fault."

[@goodolmeplant5809]

I remember when I went to Disney world... I hated it because I was too small to get on any rides...

[@aurea.]

That mom needs a vacation, and perhaps even therapy, to vent all that rage in better ways. I wonder if she had any childless friends who saw her post...

[@xcmodev1558]

Makes absolute perfect sense. Sorry, welcome to the real word kiddo

[@Gwestytears]

*California sun

[@RJLiams]

My mom took me on the off season during fall. In line for like 30 minutes and had a fucking blast. Never go during the summer.

[@adonutasimpledonut9713]

Mothers: *Gloat about the joy of motherhood* The same mothers: *Then complain about standing in long lines with said children, then blaming others for children's unhappiness*

[@ahstiasummers5583]

Which is how you get parents with marital and family issues pressuring their kids to get married to the first semi-decent person that comes along not because they think it's the best decision, but because they want to assure themselves that they made the best decisions in life. No really, I did everything right, stop laughing -some Karen

[@hauntedshadowslegacy2826]

Fun fact: seeing as gorillas sometimes eat ants and termites, they are, in fact, not vegan or vegetarian.

[@spookyscaryskeletonsmith2840]

Gorillas also freeze to death in the Nintendo 3DS Classic 'Donkey Kong: Frozen Ape'

[@4lineclear]

Most herbivores actually eat meat when they get the chance.

[@nyotamwuaji6484]

Would that make them insectivores?

[@edrick106]

@Esteb5n Caballero I saw a cow eating a fucking bird.

[@neksnek2032]

Insects count as meat? Why do I don't that so disturbing?

[@ferretwithastick800]

Anti-vax parents: vaccines cause gay Their parents: *vaccinated them at birth* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@Xx_STRHMN_xX]

Chocolate Memes being anti-vax is hella gay

[@xxIluvyouguysxx]

Logic ftw

[@bluebeka2458]

Their parents: So... ya gay yet? 😅

[@tatuarmani2897]

Dude 😂

[@camiiscool6662]

*VaCcINeS cAuSE tHe GaY*

[@ioioioioio6026]

"there were no gay people before vaccinations" Classical Greece:*slowly sneaks away*

[@SpicyButterflyWings]

Sappho wouldn't tolerate this

[@babyyoshi3099]

*Cough* Alan Turing *Cough*

[@masterofmicrospace1820]

Darnit I was thinking about that too how dare you steal my brain thoughts lol.

[@connermckay4012]

My vast and mostly useless expanse of knowledge helps me not in this situation. I know nothing of which you speak, therefor I shall not insert my own opinions into the matter. (*Says while writing this comment*)

[@noneofyourbusiness6952]

It took me a moment to remember the amount of gay orgys that went down.

[@seriouswithdaysoff]

So that ONE girl made the pretzel line too long....right.

[@polly5502]

She was a very long lady

[@aendra6495]

She created 500 shadow clones of herself to create the entire line, picking up a pretzel every time, with the sole purpose of making that child cry

[@minecraftvlogmv7203]

WaHHhAhHahhahHahHahahHahHahHhHhHHH I wantEd A pReTzEL wHY iS thiS IDIOT 😠😠😠😠😬😬😬😬 iN tHe LiNe thEyY MaDE iT 3 HoURs LonG wAaAaAahhHHHH thIS iS uNFaIr That was the mother, not her kid.

[@potaterjim]

"You're eating muskrat..just let that sink in" So, even in a parallel dimension where this guy isn't the most wrong he could possibly be, _what's wrong with muskrat?_

[@cheeselord3655]

Wasn't Timon from the lion king a muskrat Edit; Wait, no that's a meerkat

[@Katie-vg3jn]

@@cheeselord3655 I know this isn't meant to be funny but that's what makes it funny

[@alioc3298]

What the FUCK is a muskrat

[@emilyrasputin]

@@alioc3298 a muskrat is sort of like a beaver, but smaller. It spends a lot of time underwater or around water, and it's a fuzzy mammal that looks sort of like a beaver.

[@alioc3298]

@@emilyrasputin okay, so absolutely nothing like a pig?

[@myotiswii]

I would never vaccinate my kid, since that would be unnecessary dangerous and unhealthy for them. I would get a trained professional to do it.

[@jetblackmoon]

Ragiru The Trap Salad I know 😂 😂

[@myotiswii]

@@jetblackmoon r U vaccinated or why U using the autism emoji '😂'?

[@jetblackmoon]

Myotis Welwitschii What do you mean

[@scrimblebimbo3045]

Had me going there for a second, man X-X

[@Itsboog112]

@@myotiswii how is "😂" an "autism" emoji... it's literally someone laughing

[@KapitanWasTaken]

If Bible is so great, why is it not mentioned in the Bible?

[@asusmctablet9180]

oooOOOooo

[@shabu9ine]

*WOKE*

[@nxkl5522]

If the Bible is so great, why didn't Jesus talked about it?

[@door-to-doorhentaisaleswom7012]

If the Bible is so great, why isn't there a Bible 2?

[@nobodywins856]

Lol. Not fighting what your saying, but it is mentioned in the Bible.

[@pumpking4738]

"And then everyone in the store clapped." Some guy in isle 5: *starts clapping even though he heard nothin'*

[@sumdud2129]

yeah he would be like "I feel a disturbance in the source, as if a thousand dumbasses clapped for no reason and we're then silent....like it never happened."

[@spiritbx1337]

Random fucker taking a shit: *clap clap clap*

[@VoodooAngels]

I assumed they clapped because she finally stopped talking. I mean...I'd clap for that.

[@ghulam237]

Yeah sure not boo you out of the store karen

[@wert1234576]

Imagine they don't clap all separate but in unison like drones that's terrifying

[@Lillpixeychic]

Hay fun fact my grandma was a child psychologist in the 40s and she wrote a several articles on the under diagnosis of autism you can still find at the university of Michigan still. She wrote that there were probably tons of cases of autism that were under diagnosed because the person was a girl or most doctors probably had no idea what it was and would asume retardation nine times out of 10. Even when the child demonstrated intelligence in many other areas. She theorized that in the next hundred years our understanding of the diagnosis would completely change and if we had a better understanding of how the brain chemistry worked in those cases we could help autistic children better and hopefully give them a good life . grandma didn’t think cure was always necessary, she said it may be possible but not in her lifetime bless her. She was an amazing grandma. The first person to realize I had anxiety as a kid and gave me skills to cope with it... skills I paid tons at therapy for as an adult lol!

[@limarien6405]

She sounds wonderful. I wanna be a child psychologist. I grew up in a toxic household with an abusive father and a mom who was always busy and stressed out of her mind because of my dad. So I could've used someone who understood me, and I wanna be that person for some kids, even if I help just 1 kid it's a success as long as I do no harm.

[@imabagel7382]

Yo your grandma is epic

[@ghostface6387]

"Let me see your ID sir" "Born 1970" "Are you circumcised?" "No?" "Sorry sir you're not allowed to drink here"

[@heitorsilva6897]

What's circumcised? English isn't my first lenguage

[@turkler1719]

@@heitorsilva6897 pp cut off

[@ghostface6387]

Heitor Silva its slang for a person between 10 to 20 years old

[@heitorsilva6897]

@@ghostface6387 thanks

[@beepboopily6285]

@@heitorsilva6897 Circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin, the tissue covering the head(glans) of the penis. That's what circumcision is.

[@MagisterialVoyager]

I suppose I wasn't prepared for how insane these people are... I thought it'd be a tame, old people Facebook level.

[@Meowfy]

r/OldPeopleFacebook

[@romeopost2139]

Old people are sort of cute, and it’s funny seeing how they struggle with tech. But these people are actually insane, as the sub name refers to.

[@yournan5279]

Ada K. B

[@MagisterialVoyager]

@@romeopost2139 Yes, I suppose I should've known better. It's almost a decade since I was on Facebook myself, so I had no idea what sort of insanity might breed there. I simply enjoy Sorrow TV's videos and wish to see what he and the subreddit offered. I was genuinely surprised after seeing these contents.

[@gothicglypso5197]

“Whenever I see a cat with a collar I take it off” Ernie prepared to commit a hate crime

[@hngh6404]

Does she walk her cat on a leash every day or something!?

[@brodstytoasty]

I don't know why but that one made me the most mad out of all of them. I'm gonna believe that that post was satire but deep down I know it's not 😔

[@heinzhaupthaar5590]

@@brodstytoasty Why? It's rather reasonable. Cats hang themselves wit that useless crap, our neighbor already had two cats hang themselves in just three years. Of course on my property, and tried to blame me for supposedly killing her cats. None of mine ever died from unnatural causes (cars are a natural cause for cats in my experience though...) A free roaming cat shouldn't have a collar, it makes no sense and is potentially dangerous. What does a collar accomplish that a chip can't?

[@abby9598]

@@heinzhaupthaar5590 Collars allow people who find the animal to more easily locate the animal’s owner, since most won’t bother going to the vet to scan for a chip. Also, I think your neighbor needs to get breakaway collars, lol, that’s just sad that they keep dying honestly..

[@heinzhaupthaar5590]

@@abby9598 Well, cats are no dogs. In my experience they never just get lost, they just leave if you dont care for them or they have some other grievance. And you should let them, they'll choose a home they like better or come back. That nobody would care seems quite fckd up though. Around here you can even call the cops and they'll come around with a scanner and take care of it. Nonetheless, I've got two neighbors cats and another neighbor got one of "mine". We decided they know best, kept coming back anyway, and cats just aren't property. Anyway, thanks. I'll get that old hag such a collar, just ordered. Didn't know such things existed but I'm not sure of she'll use it. Because she's nuts.

[@pepskcola]

can we just take a break from this chaos and talk about how sorrow’s actually pretty good at singing

[@Veratheprettiest]

I know! It seems like a lot of people who do voice acting (professional or youtube lmao) can sing to some degree. Must have something to do with the voice control.

[@ostravaofboletaria1027]

>implying that Trump did not create the sun. *smh*

[@Au-nh1nv]

And everyone clapped

[@cameronwofford8709]

Are we allowed to make fun of the people who said "Obama created the sun and controls the weather" too? I'm scared to ask someone in person

[@rigidreptile6091]

ikr? It's the reason why he's so orange. Residue from creating the sun, duh.

[@5H4NKTH35HARK]

I'm pretty sure George Washington created the sun.

[@peril8175]

*smh* dumbasses will always be dumbasses. "The sun is made from different materials including gasses" fucking idiots its because trumpler made it ya fucking idiots

[@GlassesnMouthplates]

"If vaccines are so great, why aren't they mentioned in the Bible?" Well, leprosy isn't great on the other hand yet it was mentioned quite a lot of times in the Bible.

[@alsoquest8666]

most likely because everyone are idots and don't know when me.vaccine was born. Smh

[@stopreadingthisusername9528]

Don't forget crucifixion, basically several other types of executions from the times, sexual assault and literal Satan

[@arcticfox4013]

@A Scam Involving Corndogs 🎶 sweet home alabama🎶

[@russianbear7832]

Yeah, those people are the type of people that base there morality and everything off of the Bible.

[@Soitisisit]

@@russianbear7832 But the thing is they're doing that completely wrong, not actually learning the lessons taught by the Bible... I doubt the lady even has read the Bible herself more than maybe once. It's just excusing baseless paranoia and moral grandstanding - the kind *condemned* in the Bible - with a religious text. When you're competing over who's most righteous it proves you really didn't pay attention to the book. She's in for a rude awakening eventually.

[@skooptywooop1030]

People just shouldn't go to Disney world with very young children, just wait until they can actually remember and appreciate the experience I don't remember anything from when I was around 3 and 4 barley anything is there, just take your kids when they can remember and enjoy the experience. I mean clearly remember though, because of course I have memories from when I was little, they just aren't clear is all.

[@keylimetea]

And like it’s totally fine to go to Disney world at an older age (like teens or young adults) because it’s not all about the magic it’s about the fun and enjoyment they get out of it too. It can be fun for adults like Epcot has a lot of places to drink and it’s more for older kids and adults in my opinion.

[@MisPhantomhive]

I say this all the time! I supposedly went to Disney World once but I literally have no recollection of it at all, and now my family says shit like, “But you already got to see it!” Congrats grandma, you wasted money on a trip that was miserable for you because I was a cry baby, and I also got absolutely nothing from the experience. Like, literally just save up that money and go when your kids are older.

[@addiesrambles7871]

skoopty wooop exactly! I think around 8 or 9 is a good age for the first time!! That’s the age where I started to cement most thing into memory

[@notsocrates5979]

I barely remember things from a few days ago how do my parents expect me to remember a family trip when I’m not even old enough to go on most of the rides?

[@jgr_lilli_]

Ikr! In Europe, there are only two Disney parks in Europe (one of them being in Paris) and for most European children, visiting Disneyland is a one-time experience, if at all (only one person I know ever even went) and they usually go when they're between 6 and 12 years old.

[@mildlyupsetnug4399]

"Well Jesus wasn't vaccinated" Well Jesus wouldn't have wanted you to wear that ugly polyester sweater //Margret//

[@thecrowbarfoogle647]

Jesus wasn't vaccinated, and now he's DEAD!

[@ascendedcat260]

@@thecrowbarfoogle647 Coincidence? I think not!

[@alioc3298]

Jesus died age 33. Who knows what woulda happened

[@FishoeShoe_da_great]

imagine going to the sea and someone yells: *BEWARE, THERE'S DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IN IT!!*

[@shon6937]

Fuck man I hate when my water is infected with that

[@nathancarbo]

I do that ALL the time and everyone runs out of the water screaming then I have to spend an hour telling everyone it is a joke. Its always SOOOOO funny. People are so dumb!

[@TM-ek5iz]

Nathan Carbo then the ocean clapped 😂

[@StickmanHatena]

Remember to be careful kids! 100% of the people who interact with dihydrogen monoxide DIE!

[@kaileewalden3586]

+Tori Carlson And then my crush ran into my arms and we got married and we've been together ever sense.

[@thing4826]

9:36 I wonder how many animals that woman has gotten killed because they get found and assumed to be stray or they attack someone and since they have no collar they put it down.

[@lexbos4370]

Cats tend to try to squeeze themselves through narrow spaces and gaps. Being choked by their collar is a major point of death for cats

[@PickleHandler78]

I just hope the majority of the cats were chipped.

[@AletheiaIndelicate]

Putting standard collars on free roaming cats can actually be quite dangerous (they can get caught and the cat can hurt itself). I personally think microchipping is more than enough (to prevent any cat from the fate you are describing) but if people want to insist on putting collars around their free roaming pets they should def use quick release collars imo just to be safe :) - not to say that randomly taking off collars of cats is an acceptable thing to do whatsoever

[@LeviathanLP]

Collars are cheaper than chips. I get cats don't like them, but the idea that my cat could wander off and have her most identifying feature as an owned cat removed by some self-proclaimed good Samaritan, thus ensuring that nobody else who sees her could contact me? Makes me sick. It's like taking off somebody's medical bracelet. It's like smashing a little kid's phone with his address in it. Knowing there are people out there doing that makes me worry about my cat ever leaving the apartment, because who knows if I'll ever see her again? Seriously, just because there are risks to having or wearing certain things doesn't make it a better idea to go without.

[@SheepUndefined]

@@LeviathanLP Kinda reminds me of people who don't wear seatbelts because they have their own dangers. Nothing's %100 safe, but that doesn't mean the popular option is horrible because it has cons as well.

[@ShiningDialga]

1:24 This really translates to "I am extremely jealous of couples who have chosen to delay or forgo having children and can enjoy some time to themselves, while I am stuck dragging around three snotty, noisy, and needy demon spawn who behave much like wild orangutans, all of which I am far too immature to raise properly. Instead of handling this like an adult and planning some time away from my children who I hate very much, let me irrationally express the constant emptiness and regret I feel as hate for others who planned out their life choices better than me." EDIT: To those wondering, this isn't mocking parents, it's mocking those who make life changing decisions they end up regretting and take out their own misery on others who chose differently.

[@ShiningDialga]

@J. KnightningDo you understand hyperbole, or are you just that stupid? I'm no "activist", just a person who sees a nasty broad projecting her negativity onto others. This woman clearly has issues with being a mother and is taking it out on other people. Jealously is unflattering, especially when it's turned into rage and directed at uninvolved people.

[@spaceturd64]

@@ShiningDialga r/whoooosh

[@comicconcarne]

I agree and as long as you don't start calling kids "crotch potatoes" (thank you r/childfree) we'll be good

[@ShiningDialga]

@@comicconcarne LOL

[@moth.monster]

Calling children demon spawn is pretty shitty, and implies that you're a demon

[@sadrabbit53]

Disney World woman wrote an entire essay that boils down to "I regret having children"

[@nimbuslion]

i always laugh at the “and everyone cheered in the store” parts of stories. i can just imagine the people at the back of the store listening with their supersonic hearing or their conversation is on the over speaker lol

[@aurora5481]

Plot twist: they didn't hear, these people just have mass mind control powers. Poor Jill is just trying to grab some milk and suddenly, her hands won't respond to her commands anymore. They just clap. Everyone else is clapping too. Everyone looks shocked and afraid. There's an unconscious baby that was a second ago in their mother's arms until this took over, and the baby's hands are clapping too. No one knows how long this is gonna go on. We can't call for anyone, we'd need our hands. Please help us. My hands are starting to bleed.

[@imveryangryitsnotbutter]

@@aurora5481 That was magical, dude. You should write for Black Mirror or something.

[@afdils8782]

what kind of small ass walmart are you going to where everyone in the store can hear your 1 on 1 conversation with the cashier

[@Au-nh1nv]

and everyone clapped

[@flippedoutkyrii]

I knew a guy in High School who clapped a lot, liked to do it in packed rooms after a speech in some classes. First response to one of these "And then everyone clapped" stories was "Wait, Ted moved to Texas?". I know deep down he doesn't clap to public stupidity or acts of violence but sometimes I feel like him being in the vicinity of these ATEC stories might give them a semblance of plausibility. That is, if he still claps...

[@nothingissacred96]

Anytime a story ends with “everyone at the store started applauding” automatically I go this is a lie

[@Mr.Scott86]

But dude, the shower gel and the shampoo clapped so clearly something happened 😂

[@setsers1]

Amen

[@Shadow-ft3sz]

I think she probably dreamed about it and thought it was real lol

[@cly_]

Or starts with "so I was standing in the line at"

[@Benjamin1986980]

Probably the majority of these are lies, or at least extreme exaggerations. The "Trump Gave Us Christmas Back" one specifically sounds nothing like what a Trump supporter would say and exactly what a Trump-hater would think they would say.

[@providabtheyotengod3578]

2:21 -people without kids shouldn't go to Disneyland -people with kids should be allowed to skip the line *hmmm*

[@GioPotatoes]

This person was genuinely insane.

[@whatteamwildcats4033]

@@GioPotatoes no see she was just a bitch and stressed out new mom, the sunflower guy was crazy

[@franny6221]

oh shit I just realized that

[@kirkdaniels1000]

And then everyone clapped

[@okrion9]

Do pregnant women count lel

[@EMJ4Y]

"Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband!" lesbian couples: the _what_

[@dnagerbadger1528]

I am now going to go insane just thinking about if what that lady said was true.

[@EricHainisch]

Bruh I’m gay. Soooo which guy is right and which one is wrong?

[@Esitaro3670]

Gay couples: what?

[@taralieberman8086]

Non-cishet couples: the _wha_

[@Infinite_Archive]

No-one is right. Everyone is wrong.

[@ujustgotpwned2008]

"It's called history, sweaty" is definitely satire.

[@josiahklein70]

Hey! Don't call me sweaty. I am rather dry, thank you very much.

[@buttery_gooch6]

You know he DOES include satire right?

[@annikathegerman91]

"Couples without children should be banned." "Mothers with children should be allowed to skip lines." Get the logic? Me neither.

[@Undead_Astronaut115]

hate to add to your brain hurting buut, if she says ''childless women should be banned yada yada yada'' isn't every women childless at first lol

[@Undead_Astronaut115]

@Can We Please Just Fucking Ban Fortnite that makes a lot of sense now

[@zoie8088]

@@nonstoppugly r/gatekeeping

[@rorolilred]

I feel so relieved for and proud of the 19 year old daughter.

[@riccardoansbro9703]

rorolilred same

[@victoriawhitcomb6475]

rorolilred Ditto

[@zeusolympia8053]

@@victoriawhitcomb6475 Used transform

[@victoriawhitcomb6475]

That guy joe Oh no! Not vaccines! But i don't want my ditto to have autism!

[@zeusolympia8053]

@@victoriawhitcomb6475 I wonder if Pokemon Trainers actually vaccinate their pokemon.

[@tiredstudent4547]

"News flash, oh godess of fertility" At that moment I knew whatever he said next would be **chef's kiss** perfect.

[@reffito4975]

"Your children are the Usain Bolt of dying"

[@malikoniousjoe]

reffito I'd put that on a resume

[@bunbunnbunnybun]

Lel

[@martinszymanski2607]

That one caught me unprepared XD

[@Sharkmaster67]

Kid: I wanna live to be 110! Anti-vax mom: 3 take it or leave it

[@blarg.officialproductions8717]

Thomas Harrington lol

[@mychemicalbromance7019]

😂

[@nyutek]

AHAHA

[@koisj8310]

Thomas Harrington kid: when i grow u- polio: ima stop you right there

[@humanbeing3479]

Genie: What is your wish? Person: I don’t wanna vaccinate my child Genie: Wish granted Person: Nothing changed Genie: your child will die at the age of 3

[@sicko033]

I want to smack the woman who said the “if you were home cooking for your husband you wouldn’t have been sexually assaulted” because even if OP wasn’t 8 at the time and was like 18 it’s still a horrible thing, even people who cook for their husbands all of the time can be raped. It’s a horrible crime and a horrible thing to happen to someone. What a piece of shit. I hate people who blame the victim.

[@neptznu6157]

like the schools that say “stay away from the bully if you’re being bullied” like ah yes i go looking for my bully and provoke them

[@TheHelghast1138]

Yeah they are the worst kind of people

[@randompromises1038]

my mom used to abuse me and it was a very typical 'i was abused in the past so i'm taking it out on everyone else' kind of thing and, i don't blame her for the fact she was hurt in the past but i do blame her for using me as an unhealthy coping mechanism and i'm still stuck with the shit she forced me into when i had nothing to do with it only because i happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time (my own house). should i just go to her and give her a hug and say 'i forgive you for being a total piece of shit to me since i'm a kid and should stay in my place and get dehumanized'? because that logic is so fucked.

[@axesandrabbits2642]

A very good friend told mine was raped... By his spouse at the time...

[@faithroutson7998]

I agree. It's ACTUALLY insane to say that.

[@jmh1189]

so... a mother violated her legal adult daughter's hipaa rights.

[@jakepullman4914]

Well, HIPPA doesn't protect you from nosy family members looking through your stuff without permission. Definitely some sort of privacy violation though.

[@ishotmyboss]

That only bonds medical professionals that have approved access to your info.

[@artemisiavladu509]

So if I'm bisexual, does that mean I got half a vaccination?

[@trypptrapp266]

And what does it mean if I'm pansexual?

[@ECWPlays]

Id probably say you got 2/3rds of a vacination

[@wwa_minuet]

I’m bi because I relaxed my arm while getting a shot

[@bendygamerlizzy2404]

I’m not vaccinated. I’m still gay. Did they vaccinate me in my sleep or something?

[@Oyasumi05]

@Renaissance Barbie wait I don't get it, how is it 1/4?

[@fencerowe3083]

These jokes about Anti-vax parents never get old... Just like their children.

[@opaskilylamoon9919]

_Oof_

[@beepboopily6285]

@@opaskilylamoon9919 oof indeed

[@foximacentauri7891]

@@billymays1761 _Oooofff_

[@lvely4126]

Winter Sparrow *major oof*

[@guitargatekeeper]

Dayum

[@liltaboo]

8:08 I'm surprised that she made it to 19, that has to be a record

[@paladinboyd1228]

LilTaboo, She is the chosen one!

[@aceisawesome_]

LilTaboo I’m glad she’s finally able to make her own decisions and override her mother’s stupid ones

[@paladinboyd1228]

Vlad Dascaliuc, If your referring to me, I was making a joke about her being chosen. Because she lasted 19 years without vaccinations.

[@jakes1566]

@@VladDascaliuc 19 is 16 away from the average lifespan of non vaccinated children

[@VladDascaliuc]

@@jakes1566 Yeah, nvm that. I was thinking about something else when asking.

[@themindelectric4542]

“There were no gay people before vaccinations.” Oscar Wilde: Am I a joke to you?

[@emilybarclay8831]

To be fair Oscar Wilde was born 57 years after vaccinations were invented

[@alioc3298]

Shakespeare is probably a better example

[@JetFalcon710]

Tell that to the Ancient Greeks, cowboys, pirates etc. ;v;

[@Ihatetheseupdates]

@@alioc3298 I don't think Shakespeare was gay. But michelangelo and da vinci for example.

[@alioc3298]

@@Ihatetheseupdates hes speculated to have been Bi with some pretty strong evidence to support that claim

[@ihatemylife1056]

That one about DW is just *INSANE*

[@tirranschleter2623]

Agreed

[@kronemerj]

"I have to wait like everyone else?" *NEXT*

[@jackrose3542]

Did you guys know that there’s such a thing as Arthur Hentai?

[@Jono997]

@@jackrose3542 Did you know NOBODY FUCKING ASKED!!!!

[@seant1326]

@@jackrose3542 Do you know what Rule 34 is?

[@pupisuci]

Let me break it down. Dihydrogen monoxide Di means two Mono means one Oxide is oxygen H2O Water. That's why chemistry is a required class.

[@Sckeza]

Man I must be an idiot lol. I knew it was a hoax picture but i didn't know "Di" was two

[@gregmcgregginton574]

But... Facebook said it's an EvIL cHEmIcAL

[@atti5657]

Mono means one and rail means rail.

[@primerprime596]

Your profile pic displays the exact emotion I felt when people fell for that hoax.

[@nyxeo]

Your profile picture makes this even better.

[@Princess-Jellyfish07]

5:18 I just want to imagine the parents posting on facebook "After we gave Timmy his vaccine some lady started screaming at us in the store about Vaccinations. I'm afraid"

[@boyang4787]

Jelly AND THEN EVERYBODY CLAPPED

[@CattYes]

@@boyang4787 *LITERALLY EVERYONE*

[@imogenoliver-jones2687]

@@CattYes *EVERYONE IN EXISTENCE*

[@AmazingAutist]

@@imogenoliver-jones2687 I remember this day. I was in a deep depressive State, crying over the events of the day, when my hands suddenly started clapping wildly out of nowhere. I couldn't stop. I watched in horror as my hands moved on their own accord. I cried harder, just waiting for it all to end.

[@tavvy4426]

Or “My little Timmy scraped his arm on a branch and this lady was yelling at us about vaccinations. He can’t even get them wtf”

[@Belelelekake]

the one about the person taking off the collars of the animals just broke my heart. i hope none of the pets got lost 😢

[@JetFalcon710]

Honestly, there are not enough curse words in all the languages of the world to describe how badly I want to hit them with a train Edit: Or maybe something a bit more dramatic, such as calling in an airstrike via F-117 Nighthawk or F-15E Strike Eagle ;v;

[@IcygirlIcyPop92]

This pissed me off more than anything! Four of my cats only have collars to bring them home to me if I’m unfortunate enough to lose one of them, and if they were lost/hurt because some bitch removed their collar, there’d be murder charges

[@franny6221]

the cat collar one almost gave me a panic attack thinking about how many families lost their cats thanks to that scum of a human being

[@grimgrinningghost8528]

As a cat lover, I felt the same freaking way.

[@tavvy4426]

My cats collar is for FLEES. So they’re trying to infest my cat

[@SomeGaymerNerd]

my cats don't have collars, but my oldest cat (who I assume ran away and died, I haven't seen her in months) had a purple collar my dad took off, because the bell on it annoyed him haven't been able to find it since

[@cadevhs7962]

As a dog liver I felt that way

[@noneofyerbisness8702]

As a dog liver, I hope you never get leptospirosis. It's a real problem for dogs' livers.

[@sorenmine7765]

2:00 teach your goddamn child that they can't always get what they want just because they point and cry.

[@Peteaguy]

Right? I love how she thinks her little shit is more entitled to something just because he exists.

[@NotExtro]

Asian discipline should do the trick

[@billdavis7577]

2341 5h4m3 Said every lazy parent ever.

[@cornbreadisbetterthanpizza6866]

@@billdavis7577 Well it actually is easier said than done. Doesn't mean she shouldn't do it, it's like saying "finishing high school is easier said than done". It is true that it is difficult, and any parent will deal with his or her kid throwing a tantrum, but parents should (throughout the kid's life) teach their kids to stop acting like the world owes it every thing he or she wants.

[@BloodiedDoomguy]

When I was growing up, my mother had just the thing for that. It was this lovely leather belt with a buck sigil buckle, stung like the good lord pissed on your cuts.

[@Crozarius]

It's funny because technically Horses are omnivores and **can** eat meat. I've seen horses eat birds that wandered too close and the horse felt like having a CHOMP.

[@butzge1]

Plus: They have some pointier teeth deeper in the mouth

[@thatonestormtrooper2760]

I actually never knew that. You have thought me something truly horrifying. I wish I did not have this information

[@lachlan5656]

chomp

[@ghostbait1419]

horses have become 10x more frightening to me than they were before thanks to this piece of information.

[@Quonk079]

Thanks, I hate it! :)

[@klairgreystone4655]

I really want the 'Trump is the man that created the sun' song.

[@miaomiaochan]

Thanks for skin cancer, Trump!

[@armoredwings4182]

"I understand that you're Japanese, but you're white"

[@IPFreelly604]

World is black and white.

[@vbgvbg1133]

im going to say the n-word

[@gaming.golden]

@@vbgvbg1133 no dont do it

[@dazeen9591]

Neighbourhood is the best N-word because blacks can't pronounce it.

[@vilecretin]

@@dazeen9591 Since when did we start putting "u" in neighborhood?

[@100mattpitt]

That guy saying about there being no gays before vaccinations like....dude, ancient greece.

[@Chaeley]

That was my first thought too. Good luck getting any of them to pick up a history text.

[@barbarianaggressor879]

This seems like an opportune time to make a gay joke, but-fuck it. I mean, gay jokes just aren't funny; cum on guys.

[@jacencade4019]

He said virtually A word you use when you know your full of shit

[@jacencade4019]

@@barbarianaggressor879 that joke sucks and you blow

[@Fleet-Admiral-Harrison]

I think that the Ancient Greeks were drinking too much dihydrogen monoxide, in which turned them gay. /s Just channeling some Alex Jones for you all.

[@CubeWorksProjet]

Antivax: LEt NaTuRe Do ItS pRoCeSs Nature: **Brings natural selection**

[@dantepadilla5354]

Blockling News Thank you!

[@thekingcomet7499]

Blockling News thank you for that. It's perfect.

[@yeet69yearsagoedited48]

Dude, you fucking killed her

[@DiverWithTheBends]

Underrated comment.

[@Venus_beanus]

“And I can’t get the BEES out of my teeth” My single favorite line

[@HTPCYMC]

That’s people who unironically use Facebook in 2019 in general.

[@Thxgator]

You sir, are correct. Also good to see you, how are the kids, does Karen let you see them once in a while?

[@TrailerguyGotStolen]

But how else am I supposed to contact 90% of my family

[@elsholz2365]

That's actually correct

[@mrs.kramer4387]

@@TrailerguyGotStolen Simple. Ya don't.

[@Stettafire]

Unfortunatly, my family are all old people who unironically use Facebook so to keep in touch I have to use it as well... urgh.

[@etangbose4755]

“He’s mature for his age” But alcohol doesn’t give a shit if he’s mature it’s still gonna mess up his brain if he has to much

[@kcat420]

Maybe his liver's mature for his age

[@barbarianaggressor879]

True, but he'll be one kick-ass mo-fo to party with in HS!

[@kcat420]

@@barbarianaggressor879 And then one fucked up son of a bitch when he's out of school and has to think responsibly. I mean, there's a reason it's illegal.

[@jacencade4019]

@@barbarianaggressor879 and a dad at 17

[@gay8950]

Idk man in France they always drink wine at dinner time. Actually kind of prevents binge drinking.

[@oxalicacid3194]

The Usain Bolt of dying is the best metaphor ever

[@weirdlonelyguy3430]

JESUS CHRIST YOUR PFP

[@andrewcampbell1906]

Your the Rembrandt grumbold of pretending to know what's going on.

[@leojamison3768]

The noise he makes for the angry emojis during the Disney world rant plays in my head multiple times a day even years later, thank you sorrow for making me look even more autistic when I'm frustrated

[@DanSolSko]

The "and then everyone applauded" is so cringe.

[@bwalko5674]

Basically making it r/thathappened , always

[@acid4546]

@@bwalko5674 then everyone clapped

[@fan9775]

Maybe they were applauding the cops who were restraining her.

[@firestartergold1768]

Its actually satire. but yeah. kinda same

[@vbgvbg1133]

I’d like to think everyone did it ironically clap clap clap “congratulations, you’re an idiot”

[@timhopkins4219]

I don't protecc I do the attac Hey I'm measles And I've come to kill your antivacc

[@techpriest1559]

best comment 10/10 GG rekt etc lol

[@uber__1400]

damn thats a good rhyme

[@henrynguyen7118]

🤔😂🅱💯💯💯👌👌👌🤔😂😂💯

[@eeveelovr133]

I find it hilarious the one mom was complaining about how ‘you have no idea what its like to stand in line with a cranky toddler’ you know what would have stopped that experience? Not taking a toddler to disneyland. Like why not bring your kids there when they’re old enough to remember it?

[@renciks5610]

Because then there would be people screaming at her for coming to disneyland without a kid

[@Whatingodsname]

Because if you have one older kid but have a little baby you gonna have to take the baby with you (a.k.a i mean what if the baby is 2 years old and you also have a 15 year old that wants to go Disney land and you have to wait until your baby is 5 and your older one would already be 18 unfair)

[@melnewdemon4873]

@@Whatingodsname If the 2 year old won't remember anyway why not just get a babysitter and go without him

[@stopreadingthisusername9528]

Aurora Borealis Honestly, my main issue with the whole topic is how self centred that woman is to be putting herself and her child on a pedestal. She knows absolutely nothing about this teenager, yet because this girl dare have an age in the double digits she's going to overreact and whine about it. What if the girl had a really rough day or week and wanted to go to Disneyworld to relieve the stress, what if she was just really hungry and wanted food? Or she just went to Disneyworld and ordered a pretzel because she wanted to and had the rights. If you were the last in a long line then tough, not everyone's first thought is to let the woman running around after a hysterical 3 year old be allowed to skip a whole line, so she just has to learn the lessons of being patient she should've already been taught when she was younger anyway. I swear, I'll never understand the mindset of women who think they're somehow above others because they have a child. Sure, raising someone for 18 years is very hard work and can be incredibly mentally exhausting, but don't fucking act like someone who DOESN'T have a child can't ALSO be exhausted or have a mental breakdown. Everyone deals with stress one way or another, it's natural, and not everyone wants a fucking child because they have the rights and it's their choice wether or not they want to be a parent, not your self righteous, condescending ass.

[@awesomefox555]

Yeah, that’s nowhere NEAR a pleasant experience, what he he’ll is she on about??

[@kirikirikiri99]

anyone gonna talk about how his voice is actually really nice?

[@beepot2764]

Oh wow the Disney world rant is one of my favorite things you've ever read.

[@AxxLAfriku]

Tomorrow another day at school my friends created a funny game in every break I get punched in the face by all of them. But when I get home to my TWO hot girlfriends it is all good again. I am the KZbin Megastar. Thanks for listening dear bee pot

[@beepot2764]

@@AxxLAfriku ok. You're welcome I guess.

[@SteveOnlin]

I don't get the point of getting a 3 yo into Disney world like they probably won't remember anything and could be kidnapped

[@sirmcsquiggles6287]

@@beepot2764 don't fall for the self promoter!

[@beepot2764]

@@SteveOnlin right lmao. I've been once when I was 5 and can't remember a damn thing.

[@rngesus7641]

"Before vaccines there were virtualy no gay people" *Cough* roman empire , ancient egypt *Cough*

[@istoleyourwalletwhileyouwe3356]

Seriously, even goddamn Hercules and Nero had boyfriends. Edit: Apollo also had a few male lovers.

[@s.colins2050]

*The entirety of fucking ancient Greece*

[@GRE4TCRAIC]

*cough* Ancient Greeks *cough*

[@SteveOnlin]

قوم لوط

[@rngesus7641]

Jesus also probably had a gay romance , his only one and true love too XD

[@sunflowerhandler]

"The government's watching us through sunflower cameras! And I can't get the _bees out of my teeth!!_ "

[@cheetahtaildraws9392]

You're profile picture makes this 200 times funnier.

[@missycat7467]

You are completely correct

[@mlpnivrondelacruz5639]

Just to ask, did you change your profile pic for this joke or was this your profile pic like this from the very start?

[@sunflowerhandler]

@@mlpnivrondelacruz5639 I just love sunflowers. Even if they do have cameras in them.

[@akirabennete2852]

@@sunflowerhandler thats what you want us to think!

[@TBTabby]

For those wondering, the wild counterpart to cows was the auroch, a Pleistocene megafauna that went extinct in the 17th century.

[@SaVanityVan]

"I understand that you're Japanese, but you're white" ??????

[@kimifw58]

Half-white, I guess?

[@cxsmicking17]

*TOP TEN QUESTIONS SCIENCE STILL CANT ANSWER*

[@literallyglados]

i ruined the 69 likes

[@retroman0000]

tbf Japanese people literally have white skin

[@SaVanityVan]

@@retroman0000 Yes but 'white skin' and being 'white' are 2 different things lol OP referenced 'white privilege' which applies to Caucasians, not just anyone with light skin

[@imcurby4441]

1900:In the future we’ll all have time machines! 2019: we literally have to stop telling people to eat tide pods

[@SSBGogetaFTW]

1700: Man, Vaxxing is so dangerous and it hurts so much! In the future, we'll have better methods! 2019: VaCcInEs CaUsE aUtIsM aNd GaYs

[@arisenleaf]

Ledgendary Pimpyojeez wasn’t that last years shenanigans? This year it’s the bird box challenge

[@solitudeguard8478]

German WWII Pilot: it’s a good thing the earth is round other wise this math I have to do would be much weirder! Teen in 2019; ThE EaRtH Is FLaT!

[@sophiekoehler8094]

Can we just send all flat earthers to space? We would prove them wrong and get rid of them at the same time!

[@winterdragon4125]

@@sophiekoehler8094 Maybe some of them have a ruse to feign being flat earthers so that they get free space travel? (There are a good chunk that are clearly insane/stupid, but there's the possibility of a few doing so.)

[@andrewfaraday8918]

"Older Women (18+)" - I was a bit sick in my mouth there.

[@VIDEOGAMEVIDEOGAMEVIDEOGAME]

Remember, teleiophile is an offensive term. We prefer the term "normal law abiding citizens"

[@DrForrester87]

I actually looked it up and what I could find says it's basically an attraction to older adults. So this guy was not only admitting he was a pedo, but he was also inaccurate in his definition.

[@LuMo096]

JDH87 So, like that guy on TLC that was really into grannies.

[@liamanderson7082]

@@LuMo096 Well, you're technically not wrong.

[@spate7207]

I'm pretty sure teleiophile actually means minors attracted to 18+

[@tammybertrand796]

"Don't want a gay kid? Don't have them vaccinated" Following that logic they showed in this statement, I'm half vaccinated!

[@Not_Claptrap]

So you're bisexual?

[@lixonzito2481]

i'm about a quarter vaccinated, somewhere around there

[@theresivy]

how does half vaccinated even work, like im genuinely curious do they just stick the syringe in half way?

[@JetFalcon710]

@Adam Filinovich I'm interested in what half a syringe looks like. Also, following the logic in OP's statement, I have most definitely been vaccinated

[@wintertimber1749]

It took me thirty seconds to come to the conclusion you're Bi

[@Silcha22]

Bit of r/thathappened with some of these

[@AzuliManni]

Maybe, though you got to give the guy a break. These are probably not as easy to find, voice and edit. It's not like he's posting every single one he comes across after all.

[@firestartergold1768]

Also, a few are satire.

[@minh9545]

Most of the post that had "then everyone clapped/ applauded" is a literal sign shows r/thathappened.

[@KECOYA]

Wait so you’re telling me the cashier crying after being reminded of the greatness of our supreme ruler trump followed by everyone applauding didn’t actually happen? Damn these vaccines really are getting to your head sweety.

[@theoverwatchnerd9726]

A lot of the anti-vax and flat earth are

[@just-a-silly-goofy-guy]

How the anti vax kids roll up to school: *_scottish tails_*

[@TheMV01]

*_dead_*

[@1970DAH]

Don't use my name in your stupid joke.

[@murciadoxial8056]

they don't roll up to school, they limp to school because of the polio

[@ronthehuman3618]

so we are doing the thing with the meme and the tails and the sonic now

[@-liquid-7548]

Oh shit Arzorsist was right

[@nyroony]

The most depressing part of anti-vaxxers is when they talk about 'converting' their friends. Like, I know these things happen through a whole chain of idiots, but just the idea that someone going from a completely normal parent to the harbinger of diseased poliobombs in the shape of children just makes my heart drop. It's like when someone takes a traumatic head injury and wakes up with a completely different and way shittier personality.

[@cutecommie]

Hopefully most of these stories are made up

[@sadrabbit53]

I know this is a serious post but the term "diseased poliobombs" cracked me up,,,

[@nyroony]

@@sadrabbit53 Oh my dear friend, I gave up serious a long time ago. Your response to diseased poliobombs is completely appropriate.

[@barbarianaggressor879]

I think if smallpox ever resurfaces, people are going to flog anti-vaxxers in the street. Let's hope it doesn't get to that.

[@jacencade4019]

You know what actually happens They pretend to agree so they shut up, But they were in no way actually convinced.

[@nickthecreator1671]

Lady: "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back!" Cashier: "..." Lady: "You can say Merry Christmas instead to that liberal talk now!" Cashier: "...Mam?" Lady: "Yes?" Cashier: "...I'm Jewish..."

[@sholem_bond]

Me imho

[@arizonagreenbee]

That's how it actually we t

[@leleled6467]

@@arizonagreenbee r/ihadastroke (?)

[@arizonagreenbee]

@@leleled6467 i have no memory of writing this so I probably did lol

[@Ender41948]

Honestly the amount of people at Walmart asking me to say Merry Christmas. I'm always tempted to say "Shalom, and Happy Hanukah.", and I'm not even Jewish!

[@fover_]

the disney world one honestly pissed me off

[@dattos140]

Little kids cant even enjoy disney world tbh you need patience there

[@ryelyrachor90]

Impressive how he kept the voice the whole time

[@doaasabila1202]

It's almost like she regrets having kids, I feel sorry for her tbh

[@4venday]

i went to disney world when i was a kid and guess what.. i dont even remember it LMAO taking kids there is NOT worth it. agree 100%

[@willowstrike1102]

@@4venday Same, didn't even realize i had until i was told when i was older lol, definitely want to go there now that i have a chance of remembering

[@zilchg1rl]

The Disney mom, oof. Honestly I have no idea why people would bring anyone under the age of 7 to Disney World. I have literally seen people with actual infants at Disney, like, tiny people who are less than 12 months old, and it's like, why? The babies/toddlers will never remember being at Disney and they can't even go on half of the rides. Also, usually I like to spend the entire day at Disney and toddlers will have a full scale psychological meltdown after 2.5 hours at any theme park. If you are at Disney, there will always be a psychotic 3 year old having an aneurysm for whatever reason. Why would you put a kid through that? It's crazy, personally I think 8 and up is the optimal age for Disney World. EDIT: It seems as though some people think I'm a child hating witch who thinks toddlers will have no fun at Disney World. Not true, I'm just thinking that if I had a kid, I would wait to spend all that money Disney costs until they were at the age (7-10) where they could have the most fun, where I could have fun too, and where neither of us would be likely to have a psychological meltdown from being overwhelmed. In the mean time, toddlers can enjoy other things like going to the park, and birthday parties, and Christmas, and playing with toys, that's what all toddlers like. You don't NEED to be a baby to enjoy Disney. My first trip to Disney was when I was 10, and I had a ton of fun and I will remember it for a long time. Also, if parents bring their baby to Disney because THEY wan't to go to Disney, fine. I just think it's silly to bring a baby to Disney because you think the baby want's to have fun. As previously stated, toddlers enjoy many other things, and probably enjoy those things more than Disney because you don't have to wait in a 4 hour line in the hot sun to play with Barbie dolls. There is no height requirement either. Also, this is obviously not all parents, but I've known a few people who's parents took them to Disney when they were under three and never took them again when they really wanted to go. They said "oh, I already took you to Disney, you don't need to go now." as if Disney is a place you need to take your kid to be a good parent. I feel that some parents bring babies to Disney to be like "look I took my kid on vacation, here is 600 pictures on Facebook, now I never need to take them anywhere again, because they've already been to Disney!"

[@annehinged]

lol i get it it's annoying but did u just say tiny people lmao

[@Countryen]

Not disagreeing really but one reason would be multiple kids. Imagine you have a kid of 9 that desperately wants to go to DW but you also got a kid of 3... what to do? Wait until the other kid is old enough? Just an example why people might "need to" drag their tiny people along :) Also I don't think that it's true that they just wont remember a tiny bit. I'ts the joyful time that's more imortant.

[@connermckay4012]

Disney world: Magic Kingdom: 6 - 14, Disney World: Animal Kingdom: 5 - 16, Disney Springs: 13 - X, Universal: 6 - X. My opinion, not carefully thought through.

[@berilo.8044]

@Bert_Sampson While i definitely see your point I don't really agree with you. It's perfectly normal for people to want to have fun no matter what age they are. But if they have children that are aware of their surroundings and don't take them along because they can't 'afford' it... Well. Psychological abuse.

[@naiomipetric722]

Yeah its funny cause some disney parks have things specifically for adults. And that lady is super entitled .....

[@Hopeskyesk]

Imagine caring more about having a straight kid than having a healthy kid.

[@MakoWoman]

I’m so proud of that girl that got all her vaccinations when she became an adult 🥲

[@ericwithakay3559]

"There is approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but i could never string enough words together to properly express how much i want to hit you with a chair" Alexander Hamilton to Thomas -Edison- Jefferson I think this quote is quite accurate for most of the posts in this vid Edit: got one of the names wrong

[@sharkie9975]

Did he actually say this tho?

[@ericwithakay3559]

@@sharkie9975 I hope so

[@shannons3419]

@@sharkie9975 Did Alexander Hamilton want to hit Thomas *Edison* with a chair?

[@jexiagalleta4712]

OP probably means Jefferson

[@ericwithakay3559]

Tbh I'm not sure

[@zoeythebee1779]

"Before vaccinations there were virtually no gay people!" *Ancient Greece:* Am I a joke to you?

[@jadendafinger]

Fraught Quill werent the Spartans trained to fall in love with the dude infront of them so if they died they would fight harder?

[@cas6174]

jaden da finger yeah they were also encouraged to bone other men while training if they got lonely and missed their partner back home

[@raphaelschmitz4416]

@@jadendafinger I don't know about that, but on Spartan marriage: "On the night of the wedding, the bride would have her hair cut short and be dressed in a man's cloak and sandals. The bride appeared dressed like a man or a young boy to be perceived as less threatening to her husband.". Also, Spartan supremacy in Greece was broken by a combat unit of gay bois en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_Band_of_Thebes.

[@jadendafinger]

@@raphaelschmitz4416 Greek history is pretty cool

[@CCSABCD]

1:40 are you sure you hate millenials and not your kid?

[@helenanilsson5666]

Yeah, kind of sounds like someone didn't plan their parenthood and now go through life angry and bitter over anyone who don't share their shackles. I mean, I can sympathize with that. I can get right bitter over snotty big city brats who don't understand the suffering of living on the countryside while our tax money goes almost exclusively to city comforts.

[@lonelymoe1822]

I think she's just jealous.

[@cecejamesable]

She possibly hates both, the millennials for having the fun she is denied because of the responsibility of her kid and her kid in general for being a weight on her life. The poor thing is probably going to end up loathing his mother, hating women in general, or being a mama's boy to a mother who spoils him to end to prove she is a 'good mother'.

[@SalahEddineH]

I love how she's talking about the JOY and HAPPINESS of it all, then about how miserable and tired she is. That post was just.. Whoa..

[@ericworley4361]

Methuselah was said to have died at the very respectable and impressive age of 969, according to the bible. Even Enoch, who ranks as only the 10th oldest person mentioned in the bible, was somehow supposedly a spry 365 years old.

[@annalucy89]

It kinda sounds like the woman who "hates motherless women" really just hates that she IS a mother. We see again and again that women with children feel they should have some divine right over everyone else just because they made the noble gesture of getting pregnant

[@DoveAlexa]

I have experienced this, even from a woman who can't have kids! I might have had kids if I saw any mothers who looked like they were in anything other than excrutiating misery.

[@heartstorngrose958]

@@DoveAlexa You must be in a pretty shitty area if every mother you see wants to blow their brains out because they have a kid. Most people who have children and look miserable were people who didn't plan on having kids.

[@DoveAlexa]

@@heartstorngrose958 Well one of those women adopted children. So there goes that theory. EDIT: 2 of them, now that I think about it!

[@shadowdroid776]

@@heartstorngrose958 I disagree, I think that most people tend to feel like shit the first few years of their children being alive because they lose sleep, are constantly caring for a person that cannot care for themselves, and basically have no free time to themselves. From what I've seen, the parents that look miserable tend to have very young kids and didn't really expect having kids to be as laborious as it turned out to be. Like, they had an idealized version of what having a kid would be, and then they had a kid and realized "oh shit, it's not at all like that".

[@heartstorngrose958]

@@DoveAlexa What was her financial situation? Also, if she was a single mom, that explains alot. I've only heard mother, so are you talking about single moms? If you are, I agree with you more.

[@DrelvanianGuardOffic]

Ripping up a card.. If someone is easily offended.. probably best for them to avoid playing Card's against humanity all togather. If you remove a card because it's offensive, you're playing the game wrong.

[@moth.monster]

The thing about Cards Against Humanity is that it manages to do offensive jokes without just being straight up racist.

[@eadlynjune]

That happened at a theater cast party. Why take out the game if you’re going to get offended by it?

[@mikekazz5353]

Who thought it was a good idea to play that game with a bunch of people who have Drama in the resume.

[@jacencade4019]

@@mikekazz5353 lol

[@321gofast7]

@Day Mier Holland that is a different story.

[@chaotictrash4909]

5:04 they clapped because she got removed from the store

[@leonardopena2673]

Or it was a sarcastic clap

[@hngh6404]

Nobody: Not a single soul: Idiots who make up stories to boost their self esteem: EVERYONE CLAPPED

[@thegavinside]

Tbf, maybe it was real and everyone did clap, but they did it because the colossal thunderfuck that was making a scene in the store finally shut her goddamn mouth.