mental health, interviews, OCD (vlog)

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CONTENTS OF THIS VIDEO
0:00 - Intro
2:02 - academic medicine rotation
4:08 - anatomy lesson
4:58 - OCD dx
8:37 - first interview
9:07 - zoom meetings
9:55 - roommate time
11:23 - interviewing applicants
13:49 - my birthday!
15:34 - golfing w/ roommates
17:04 - TA stuff
19:38 - YOU MATTER (watch this part)
20:04 - on campus!

[@RachelSouthard]

Met some second year med students at my school this week and they asked me “does it get better?” It honestly got me thinking, and there’s some stuff I think you should hear. ♥️ This vlog also includes interview stuff, my OCD dx, mental health, and my birthday!

[@khalilahd.]

Thank you for this ❤

[@fatemetoliat7222]

Honestly, I feel like every college student needs this. Since I myself find it hard to take care of my mental health, and after I burn out, I realize that I haven't been making care of myself. So thank you with sharing this with us.❤

[@missykowalewski]

So often all a person needs is a moment to breathe and support to know that someone understands. Rachel is such a great mentor and I’m glad students everywhere have the opportunity to watch her videos.

[@nica4032]

You're definitely right! the scrubs will be the pajama, the white coat will be the robe and the slippers will be the slippers and I will be SLEEPING all day due to the coziness. ✨

[@viancazavala999]

Lately Rachel’s energy has felt more confident and relaxed. 4th year, more family and friends time, OBGYN auditions, and self care has really shone through. I am so happy for this season of your life :). Thank you for talking about mental health and your diagnosis ❤❤❤

[@piaandersen6001]

The “YOU MATTER” part made me cry, and i realised that I needed that much more than I thought. Thank you. ❤️

[@missykowalewski]

I’m so glad u choose this topic. I was diagnosed as having OCPD in my sophomore (HS) year. Meds were not available so it was all about modifying behavior. I struggled trying to even think in these processes. Finally in my freshman college year my anatomy teacher decided I was in fact OCD. This is managed differently. I sought out medical advice the settled on simple behavior modification. By the time I graduated I was the second in my class in rank. I was the go to person for help with research or doing papers etc. During my careers people were fascinated with my organizational skills. OCD can be a plus in someone’s life if they learn how and why it happens and focus that knowledge into something productive. Even in retirement I’m still the most organized person around. And if I say I’m gonna be somewhere or going to do something u can count on that as a fact. It’s not such a bad thing.

[@randomgaygirl]

Ty everyone for supporting me (in chat). I've had a really tough patch since I'm recovering from an ed. I normally don't share this because everyone is on a rough patch and I support you all (I don't like to whine). But I really appreciate the support, love y'all. It means more than you'll ever know. I am sure you all will be amazing in what you love to do most❤ Thank you Rachel for sharing everything you have, because we are all also human and relate to you so much, love u💓 it really helps

[@seharpant5195]

rachel. oh my god. i have been diagnosed with ocpd and oh my god I am so so so so SO relieved to hear you speak about this!!!!! this is the first time any youtube has spoken about this and oh my god I am shook. this feels so good to hear, that I am not alone. thank you for sharing.

[@aaliyahhhhhhh335]

After a hard school week. Your videos uplift me and ground me - reminding me why I am doing what I am doing. We need more female doctors. Can’t wait to make a difference in the world Lots of Love your little herd ❤️

[@james7951]

That picture of you and your roommates at dinner literally made my heart throb

[@kaceyking4558]

I’m not in med school, I’m in undergrad, but it’s been a rough week for me based on all that’s going on in my personal life and school itself. I’ve struggled alot mentally recently and it helps to hear I’m not alone ❤️ You’re amazing Rachel!

[@bogdandyulev8022]

I didn't expect this video, with someone also struggling with ocd, this is very touching, thank you. Ocd is probably my biggest enemy and it has hit me hardest during last year/first year of high school and for someone who previously had all A's, my grades plummeted, but now it is a new year, I still have hope and I am ready to do achieve good results again.

[@jenniferosorioluna]

This has been one of the most meaningful vids you've gave us, thank you 🤍

[@bombshalley]

Hi Rachel!! I don’t know if you’ll see this comment but I just came from the ‘I need to talk to you guys’ video from over a month ago, and I think that you’re doing so great. I’ve been watching your channel quite religiously since the past 3-4 years through my own journey of med school and during my finals there’s nobody better than you in your ‘study w me’ videos who I genuinely love studying with. I’ve been caught up w my own life since I’m starting residency in Radiology in another week and I hadn’t been watching too much youtube for the past 1-2 months but lately I’ve been so stressed and anxious about starting residency at this new hospital away from everything and everybody I’ve known that it’s been a tough time. However today when I watched your video I remembered how comforting your channel is and even if it’s just you going about everyday things, it gave me a sense of calm and to be very honest I felt a little less afraid because of you! I can see myself growing being a Red Ant and knowing there’s a community that’s going to be there through the thick and thin. It’s a very different perspective for you since we have a very small window i.e. through the comment section, but for what it’s worth, you’re a breath of fresh air and you’ve done an astounding job not only with how far you’ve come in this medical journey but also as a content creator and a person. I really admire you to the very core and have an abundance of respect for you. Thank you for taking us all along w you on this journal and coming along on ours. Much Love 💕

[@hannahcook9477]

lol low key America Revere interviewed me for my med school. I was fan girling so hard.

[@anbrielleblake]

i LOVE HERRR omgg such a nice girll I watch her and Rachel all the timeee lol definitely fangirl

[@Lexlex11848]

Omg I have ocd too.. can’t wait to hear you talk about it

[@yumnasiraj5119]

Hi Rachel, I was diagnosed with severe OCD and I've made a lot of progress through ERP. I know how difficult it must've been to open up because of the humiliation and shame we feel about our obsessions. Been keeping up with you for years now and so proud of you! You truly provide a safe space for people that are struggling ❤️❤️

[@clarapipia9557]

I was recently diagnosed and began ERP too! I wish you luck on your journey!❤

[@isidoooora]

very needed words of support from you once again, keep up the good stuff and dont forget that you deserve to be happy!!

[@Olivia-vm7tc]

One of your best videos yet ❤️❤️

[@martafilipek1257]

I enjoyed the vlog a lot, thank you Rachel!

[@juliasheffler8410]

I just wanted to say I really appreciate you and your videos, they mean a lot :)

[@samamahmood8008]

Uhhhh the amount of love and understanding I felt watching this vlog is incredible ❤️❤️Rachel we love you and we love what you share to help us through the way.. your words really matter!

[@khalilahd.]

I honestly value these heart to hearts. It’s so nice to hear how far you’ve come and how you’ve gotten through difficult points in your journey. Hope you’re doing well Rachel ❤

[@whalefuhk]

As a nursing student with OCD, I’m so thankful to be getting a job in mental health because on med surg there was so much going on and I’d check the charts over and over and over- It’s exhausting.

[@alexmtz8790]

At times it’s very hard to admit that we need help or that we should be taking more care of ourselves, but people like you make it easier to accept that fact. My mom thinks school is just going to class, taking notes, and randomly studying throughout the day. It takes a lot more than that to get through school. Recently I’ve just been feeling so behind when I’m really not! Soooo hopefully with some self-help I’m able to overcome that feeling. Anyways I love your videos Rachel. After watching them I’m always motivated to go back to study and get my life together 😂have a nice week 💕 ohhhh and happy late b-day !

[@anmaria01]

Only one sentence to say: THIS VLOG IS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB! Missed this kind of vlogs Rach, this is amazing! ❤️❤️❤️

[@busybeepr7018]

Belated birthday wishes. May you be blessed with the best health forever . awesome vlog. Especially when you said ‘don’t sweep it under the rug and go on coz it will lead to much worse situation’. So true. Dint realize that until hearing you say it out loud. Thank you so much for your open hearted ness and willing to help. It’s so rare and yet you do it so naturally. Kudos to you. 💜💜💜

[@morganoconnor8425]

Yes, I also have ocd and it can be distressing and somewhat dysfunctional. It sucks and glad to know others go through the same…

[@pinkrose372]

Im glad your sharing more of your life especially with ur roomates

[@Olivia-no5qj]

I started crying during the you matter part. Thank you for putting up the suicide crisis hotline phone #. Makes a lot people feel so so seen. ❤️

[@saladbarproductions3357]

I’m 2nd year med student with OCD, thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been watching your content since we were both pre meds, I’m so proud of how far we’ve come despite OCD🥲

[@luluabou-jabal6006]

love this so much. recovering from still not hitting my mcat goal score (missed it by 2 points unforunutely for this alliance program) and needing to take another gap year. but working on taking care of myself and loving myself and trying again next year. i know i'm closer than i was a couple of months ago.

[@GeekPhilosopher]

I am in the dumps right now just as a pre-med struggling with organic chemistry. Sometimes I don't think I have the chops for this. I'm glad people like you do. You are such an inspiration.

[@angelan924]

Same

[@mooskamooska8576]

I feel it but I’m actually struggling with math 110😭😭😭😅

[@n.4160]

thank you for these beautiful words

[@cassmc1]

Thank you is never enough but truly i mean it. You are the absolute sweetest

[@Itsabeautifuldayalways]

Thank you for the encouragement

[@nicolefromfinance]

I think this is my favorite video you’ve made ❤️

[@qetsia7246]

Watching your videos has become my favourite time of the week, you truly are very inspiring Rachel and I know you will make the best most compassionate OB-GYN. Thank you for I really needed to hear this

[@nishasankaran]

Before I got treatment, ocd was ruining my life. The intrusive thoughts, couldn’t leave the house at the worse points, etc. Who knew ocd/severe panic/anxiety could do this 😒

[@saaaaaa1129]

Hey Rachel, I really enjoy watching your videos. You are such a genuine honest and sweet person with such a pure heart. Stay the way you are. I am also a med student in Germany. I can really relate to so many things. It takes a lot of courage to open up in the internet. I just love your videos and really admire you. ❤❤❤

[@hopejm5694]

I can completely understand your situation ,As a medical student and an OCD suffer. With multiple OCD themes my OCD was so severe that at one point i made my mind to give up my medical carrier but with help and support from my friends and family members (especially my mother) somehow i continued it. My best wishes to all OCD sufferers out there.

[@ASMinor]

I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my KZbin channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. ❤️❤️❤️

[@Angels-3xist]

Work, study family, relationship and finance struggles pressure conditions including OCD and OCPD. Feeling obligation and fear can be overwhelming and push us to keep going even when it hurts us or isn’t helping and work involving trauma makes every impact more difficult. Know your struggle deserves compassion and to be seen and responded to. Feeling inadequate during overwhelming struggle and not having people there can make us obsessively try to improve and change to meet standards that don’t have any definition or limit. We don’t know where we’re going, but it’s never good enough. You are more than good enough. Looking objectively at any situation we’re in and what influences it and how we feel let’s us know when and where to push for our well being and act to meet standards instead of crashing trying to meet impossible ones. Even if we have to push ourselves we need to know when and how to pull back and because with OCD and OCPD what we’re feeling is so hard to stop even if we want it to, we need room to avoid episodes and that means identifying, investigating and predicting influences and how strong, frequent and necessary they are while thinking about alternatives and how we can respond when there isn’t one. How can we cope and build resilience and respond to the things we can identify as part of the problem before they build up while moving away from unhealthy influences before, after and as they come up. Building a sense around the available variety and effectiveness of coping and resilience can help us get ahead as we map both sides of the problem. Family, friends, coworkers and community can help us where we need with similar care and recognition. Bad influences are an everyday occurrence. Good influence can always become an everyday kindness. I believe in some ways OCD and OCPD can reenforce each other but that you can always find ways to take back control. One thing I know about regaining control of yourself is it starts small. It can be as simple as allowing yourself the freedom to change how you organize a shelf or wear a piece of clothing or how you do any ritual. If you can change even one tiny thing and let the situation be imperfect or just different, you’re not losing control or order or standards, you’re taking back control of yourself and your freedom by setting new standards and being open to new and expanding ways. More than anything you should know that right now, in this moment you are enough and that every moment you need to hear that is a moment it’s true. In case anyone out there needs to hear anything else (and made it through this wall of text) here are some other things you deserve to hear: How are you? Are you okay? Do you need any help? You mean alot to me. You are going to make it. Right now, you are safe. Everything is going to work out. You can rest now. You are good enough. You are perfect just the way you are. You are doing a great job. I appreciate you. You are seen. I am proud of you. We are in this together. It’s okay to do something fun. It’s okay to be kind to yourself. It’s always okay to struggle. It’s okay to feel stuck. It’s okay to be upset or angry or sad or make mistakes. It’s always okay to cry. You never have anything to be ashamed of. What you are going through will pass. It’s okay to be in this moment. You are free. You have the strength to let go. If you are struggling, you will only be stronger tomorrow. You are an amazing person. You are a good person. You are a good husband, brother, sister, daughter, mother or son. You are valid. Your feelings are valid. You are capable. You are an asset. You are needed and vital and no one could do it without you. If anything has happened, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. You are strong and resilient and everyone is rooting for you. You don’t need to be afraid. You got this. **We** got this.

[@greghorn7371]

I have ocd I appreciate your candidness on this

[@michelleannaaao]

You’re literally the best Rachel. 2nd year of med school now, & I keep trying to remind myself that I felt similarly low, unmotivated, & lost during sophomore year of college. But a lot less stressed 😅 Thank you for sharing w us!!!! Can’t believe just a few weeks ago you felt disconnected from your viewers& like you didn’t contribute anything. Hope you feel the opposite now. ❤

[@edwardleecaliforniausa]

Good morning Rachel happy Sunday morning and I loved your vlogs and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you

[@jpkrute]

This was much needed ❤ We lost a student at a fellow veterinary school the other week. You are important, you are loved, and you are worth so much more than your academic achievements.

[@RachelSouthard]

🥺 my heart goes out to that person and everyone impacted by the loss of their fellow colleague. Sending love.

[@kristenconnelly7437]

PA student here! Im in my second year of didactic and my mental health is massively struggling, but your videos make it better :) hopefully clinical year is better...

[@sariahlee]

I needed to hear the mental health stuff. First year has been incredibly rough and led me to some low places. Thank you for the kind words now and all that you’ve shared throughout the years. ❤

[@RachelSouthard]

It’s a rough time. But like I said, acknowledge how you feel then do something about it ♥️ here for you

[@circlinq]

I know teaching can probably not be compared with studying medicine but I really do resonate with what you said at the end because teaching training has been really really hard for me and it’s been making me question a lot of my choices and I really really liked what you said❤

[@mahsanA1]

Thank you sharing that message Rachel. I didn't expect myself to burst out into tears, but you really hit the nail on how being in medical school or any profession degree program can be. It can be isolating when no one fully understands what's going on, but again I wanted thank you for those words of support. It's a full circle moment of watching you while being a being pre-med and now being a first-year medical student, you do an excellent job of keeping it real. So proud of your journey and repeatedly inspired to keep going with moments to pause. ❤

[@RachelSouthard]

Awh, thank you. I hope you’re feeling better after a cathartic cry. ♥️ give your mind and body what you need.

[@lizzies244]

Hi Rachel! I just came across your channel and have been loving watching your journey through your residency. I am currently working my way through an ABSN program, and I've also noticed some OCD tendencies starting to surface that I think have come to the forefront after a lot of transition over the past 2 years of my life. I can relate with the compulsive thoughts and the stress that comes along with having to fulfill habits or "rituals" that go along with them in order to feel better. The neatness and organization is just one facet of this, but I think there is a lot more stress and almost exhaustion that comes along with this disorder, especially in combination with working in the healthcare profession, and I appreciate you mentioning the difference between OCD and OCPD. Thank you for allowing us to follow along with you as you go through this period in your life!! You're awesome!

[@zaintarr6149]

24:00 i teared up 😭 Love you Rachel♥️

[@choblgobblrr1074]

Thanks a lot for that last part Rachel. I’ve been beating myself up over not feeling like I’m doing enough. Beating myself up over simply taking a break. But you definitely helped validate those emotions of tiredness we all feel. So thank you so much for that!

[@RachelSouthard]

Give yourself a break. You’ll thank yourself later. ♥️

[@judithsleiman7938]

Rachel i love u so much i cant say it enough Im a pharmacy student, its been very hard since day one. But your videos helped me A LOT and motivated to keep going. Bless your beautiful soul ❤❤❤

[@RachelSouthard]

Love you!

[@medicalmillennial5807]

Looking forward to the video!

[@dayanatobar]

Wow!! Such a wonderful premiere video 🎉 I appreciate your life ♥️ 👼🏻 Take good care of yourself and thank you for allowing us into your life!! God bless!

[@savannahvalencia240]

I’m rewatching your yt vlogs like a Netflix series (lol) and I’m currently in your 2nd yr season and let me tell you, the energy hits differenttttt. You’re much more relaxed! I hope you’re really taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself 🫶🏻 lysm

[@RachelSouthard]

I couldn’t agree more! I feel like a totally different person. ♥️ love you!

[@deannaj4904]

Congratulations my friend on your OB/GYN interview. I’m sure one of many to come. 🎉🥳

[@michellew6097]

Thank you for sharing your OCD experience with us💖 You are changing the world bb gal

[@RachelSouthard]

Thank you Michelle 🥹

[@gunthergrinde6511]

Rachel! Your roommates are fire. I’ve never seen such great roommates. Your roommates are amazing. Hopefully they’re content with that 😂

[@dont4getaboutuss]

Thanks for the hug 😊❤

[@Chloe-jt5fi]

Thank you thank you thank you ❤

[@kellyvergara4546]

Even though there’s a screen between you and I I felt you talking to me and only me and hearing such words made me break down. I felt your hug and love through the screen. And thank you for being to caring and authentic always. Love you Rachel❤

[@RachelSouthard]

Love you Kelly. Thank you for your support ♥️

[@Shikaek]

I interviewed at your school a few weeks ago 😂 I wish you were one of my interviewers, although I would have been so excited I don’t know how I would’ve done! thanks for all your help :)

[@sarahfeingold8794]

Rachel I LOVE YOUR ROOMMATES

[@monicanguyen2799]

not a med student, but a recent new grad PA who has been watching you throughout your med school journey. love these chats because they are so relatable and not discussed enough!

[@OMGITSCHANELx3]

Hey girl! I also get the birthday blues - glad someone can relate. I still hope you enjoyed your birthday otherwise!

[@mh12496]

Congratulations on your first interview!!

[@RachelSouthard]

Thank you!

[@BenSamulak]

thanks for sharing. thumbs up!

[@pgpg3783]

Big hug from India, we all shall get through this and we all are with you.🤗

[@Mariatyra]

I’m in nursing school and I’m stressing out BIG time and I mean my mental health. I keep telling myself I’ll be ok but the stress is real. I’m in my second semester and it’s a big adjustment.

[@RachelSouthard]

Do something for yourself to address how you feel ♥️

[@Bcdf-ei9el]

You are a good human being..and that is all that matters...

[@marcinspace]

Thank you

[@chi2om]

I definitely get the birthday blues. Think I've cried every birthday except this year, since I forced myself to be happily indifferent about it.

[@lenalyna8495]

J ai aimée le rappel anatomique ❤️

[@pinkrose372]

I love bagels yum especially the blueberry ones with cream cheese

[@ronsyp]

Love you Rachel... I have been having a difficult time and been feeling lost, to put it briefly. Thank you for this ! 🙂 Ohh yeah and your roomies are pretty cool also ( by default because they live with you) 😁

[@RachelSouthard]

Hehehe I told my roommates that and they said “it’s actually the other way around-she’s cool because she hangs out with US.” 😂

[@ronsyp]

@@RachelSouthard 😅😅😅

[@manarkhechini7292]

I leaned in ❤ and I love you too

[@annanikolich8753]

I can totally relate to the whole statement about your birthday! If I'm not doing something I just feel like I have nothing important to do and then end up just thinking about it lol! Reply

[@unkown3136]

I actually really like you and your roommates too

[@mallorysai1399]

I was recently diagnosed with OCD and want to pursue a career in pediatric medicine. This gives me hope and inspires me to keep going:)

[@ht8038]

Therapy helps a lot. Exposure

[@hopejm5694]

You will do it . Best wishes.👍

[@patricia_tx]

Waiting from Europe. Love from a non traditional premed :)

[@xchurricane]

Ok but your roommates have such good older brother vibes so yeah shout-out to them!

[@artistpolarbear1467]

Im a first year physical therapy student ( sooo healthcare yay ! ) And im just slowly degrading tbh . I have OCD symptops too ( I was never professionally diagnosed - soon hopefully ). Its just so hard to function with this disability - let alone do healthcare studies .. its tough !

[@a.linaxx]

Could you please share tips on interviews. What should we avoid and what questions to expect..best way to deliver a answer

[@RachelSouthard]

I have a whole video on my channel about interviews :) check it out!

[@brittanyglenn3227]

OCPD is actually not what most people think it is. It can show up in many different ways but in short, it's basically chronic perfectionism. A lot of people with OCPD will fail to do tasks or turn in assignments because they can't do them perfectly. People with OCPD can also take a long time to read books or articles because they constantly re-read sentences out of fear that they didn't read it exactly perfectly. Just FYI :)

[@RachelSouthard]

Yes chronic perfectionism!

[@DaltonsFriendswood]

My daughter’s perfectionism was nearly a mild disability for her. Nothing was ever perfect enough. At times I almost ripped up her homework papers just to end the cycle of redoing them until they were perfect.

[@brittanyglenn3227]

@@DaltonsFriendswood I’m a therapist to teens and kids who struggle with perfectionism are some of my favorites to work with. They’re so committed to therapy (probably because of their perfectionism lol) and we do such meaningful work ❤️

[@DaltonsFriendswood]

@@brittanyglenn3227 she’s gotten a lot better but sure had a hard time getting her college essays done. She’s in her first semester away at college now and so far she seems to be doing fine without me there pushing her through the perfection spirals.

[@irisparke5408]

I also get the birthday blues 😢

[@Armitta]

Awe we have the same birthday! 🥺

[@RachelSouthard]

Happy belated birthday!!

[@doctorharry]

In the building watching from Barbados 🙂🙂🙂😎

[@shannongould9596]

sesame bagel with cream cheese = PREMIERE CHOICE :))))))))))

[@shakthibalakrishnan572]

Do you have the model or link to your nespresso machine? 😅

[@RachelSouthard]

It’s the Vertuo!

[@everydayleticia]

If you were interviewing me for a med school interview I would be happy. I enjoyed the long vlog.

[@avocado2164]

❤❤❤

[@IK-fg4gw]

❤

[@daniaawni5180]

Me coming to youtube to have a break from H&N anatomy. Rachel: 4:05

[@RachelSouthard]

😂😅sorry

[@SElisa15]

My bf is in his third year of med school and he’s so stressed…he seems angry all of the time:/ also, you should watch Dahmer! I’m a law student who has worked in criminal law so it’s definitely up my alley lol

[@RachelSouthard]

):it’s a stressful time. Make sure he does stuff that makes him happy! We all need balance. And I’m definitely watching Dahmer now 🤗

[@rachirach333]

I have bad birthday blues too!!!!😬 Maybe it's a Rachel thing ☠️

[@katymcnamara9898]

Aw my friend, I completely relate to your OCD struggles. I don’t like to leave my room because it stresses me out how much I need to clean the rest of the house, I keep my own room so clean all the time because It like is my safe space I guess. It relaxes me when I finish cleaning and see how there’s like nothing to make me anxious, but then I look at the clock and I’m like damn btch why did you just spend an hour cleaning a clean bathroom?

[@tehmeed337]

i have been watching you from a really long time, ur one the reasons i wanted to become a doctor, however upon realising that doctors dont actually make money as much as we thought im thinking to backup, i can either go for medical field or computer science eng. my question is, if u had to do all this over again, would u do it, knowing the debt you would be in etc? is it really worth sacrificing ur mental health , or is it simply overrated?