raising-a-psychopath.blogspot.com | Internet Mysteries

In 2008, a man who calls himself Harry started a blog to document his adoptive son's life, who he believes is a psychopath.
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[@TheInternetInvestigator]

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[@hannahb2306]

“Am I failing to provide this deeply traumatized child with a stable environment? No no, clearly he’s a psychopath.”

[@hannahb2306]

Never mind that doctors don’t tend to diagnose people with personality disorders until adulthood

[@Crackpot_Astronaut]

"When Lucas acts like a kid that's been traumatized, it's because he's a complete psychopathic monster child that is beyond help. But when he acts better and does what he's supposed to, it's because we did that." 🤦‍♀️

[@sssj806]

I caught that as well tbf 🤦‍♂️

[@alicesewnsew2413]

I know right 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@sagebias2251]

He probably was traumatized as a child anyway. He just knows that he can use this for his advantage.

[@furygeist]

Srsly, saviorism at it's worst.

[@scoundrelkid1290]

​@@alicesewnsew2413 a

[@ridley_grace]

Part of me feels like Harry and his wife wanted to feel like saviors by adopting a child with a traumatic background, but didn't want to actually put the work into taking care of him.

[@cathuria5818]

Take it from a sociopath You can not care for them. Nothing you can do can reach them.

[@TheInternetInvestigator]

Yeah, they specified they didn't want a child with serious health problems or disabilities, but they were always open to taking in a child like Lucas, who was at high risk of developing RAD. I don't think they had any idea what that would entail 😩

[@ridley_grace]

@@TheInternetInvestigator Yeah, it also seems possible to me that Lucas had some sort of developmental or intellectual disability that was just lumped in as RAD. I'm really hoping that this is a fake story, because if not then so many systems in place failed this child.

[@cathuria5818]

@@ridley_grace this. I very much feel there is more than just anti social personality disorder. He lacks the narcissism that is very important in anti social personality disorder

[@ridley_grace]

@@cathuria5818 I myself have a mental disability (though much less severe than Lucas's) and a lot of things from the beginning, especially him not understand past/future and the difference between periods of time stuck out to me. It's still possible he has ASPD, but I feel like he's much more impacted by some sort of disability that just got misidentified. Thanks for bringing up the narcissism point- I didn't even think of that at first.

[@xcvcvcvvcvc9914]

Everything he describes are classic signs of child sexual abuse. For example bed wetting, not reacting or doing anything when he does, not reacting when he’s punished and “just taking it”, inappropriate sexual behaviour and inappropriate sexual knowledge and interests for his age, even the diagnosis of RAD . He even admits he had a “rough” start. None of these necessarily mean a child is a psychopath. They do mean a child has experienced some serious dysfunction and trauma that is deeply affecting their development. There’s a reason why every resource he uses to back up his claims gives age ranges in which it applies. It’s because at 11 the brain literally isn’t developed enough that you can say these things are signs of a permanent disorder. They have compounded the trauma and issues. This is deeply upsetting.

[@Proto-Martyr]

I was looking for this comment. It's so upsetting that no one thought to check for sexual abuse when all the signs are there in the open. Especially with the bed wetting, which is a clear sign of trauma.

[@davisbird]

This is exactly what I was thinking. To me, this screams trauma from CSA.

[@xcvcvcvvcvc9914]

@@Proto-Martyr I can’t imagine a psychiatrist, therapist, and social worker plus how ever many he’s seen outside of what’s detailed in this blog would not pick up on it. It sounds like from his initial post that the difficulties he’s alluding to imply some knowledge of the enormity of the abuse. It is sad because it reads like he just doesn’t really care about it and doesn’t factor it in to understanding any of this child’s behaviour. The way he talks about him being “content to do nothing” and not reacting shows how he’s dehumanised this child in his mind. He’s taking a common trauma response like dissociation and presented it as evidence for psychopathy beyond help. He seems like he doesn’t listen to the professionals at all and by the point he’s saying he’s diagnosed officially as a psychopath I have to wonder how much his opinions factor in to the assessment of a new psychiatrist or if that was true at all. It also raises a red flag when he talks about these treatment schools that he’s running away from after all of the recent exposure of these abusive unregulated troubled teen camps in the US that would have been used even by the juvenile court at the time of this blog. I hope this kid is ok now but I can’t imagine the incredible suffering he’s gone through at the hands of the adult caretakers in his life.

[@andineffable]

1000000000% this. God, I don't even know what to say, the whole thing is so horrifying.

[@lizzi3136]

That was exactly the first thought I had, especially with the bed wetting.

[@333SarahBeth]

"I don't understand why abusing this traumatized child isn't helping him. Must need more abuse. God, I'm such a great parent I need to document this for the world."

[@ablondehoe]

Lucas’ parents are setting him up for failure with how he’s being treated. Harry only sees Lucas as a psychopath so that’s how he treats Lucas. I really hope Lucas gets the help he needs for the problems he actually has and not the “diagnosis” that Harry gave him

[@funkymonkey4279]

the way harry has so meticulously 'predicted' lucas's future is so disturbing. writing down what he'll do as though he was a character in a book.

[@valerielevasseur8674]

This could be a case study in self-fulfilling prophecy.

[@MsTinkerbelle87]

Lucas is gonna kill them….

[@darkunykorn404]

I sincerely hope that's what "Lucas" is, just a writing project. Otherwise poor child's f---ed. :-/

[@Sk8ngInDuval]

*shudders*

[@TG-ub7mk]

My read on Harry is this: Seems like armchair psychology from a dude who has watched way too much Dexter and too many serial killer docs. Then again, we don’t really have any idea how we’d react in the same situation. I just hope the kid finds the help he needs before it’s too late and his brain has fully developed. As for the couple- maybe try adopting a rescue animal the next time you want to play savior.

[@absurdum-the-artist]

He’s a psychopath because he doesn’t form meaningful romantic relationships and has no concrete plans for the future? SIR, HE’S ELEVEN

[@sagebias2251]

He doesn’t understand the difference between a second and a year.

[@krystalaranha3779]

@@sagebias2251 BECAUSE HE NEVER LEARNED

[@MrSomebodyStrange]

My mom be like

[@sanna9062]

​@@gimpinainteasyWas she your friend's biological child? If yes, your friend is definitely at fault, children who have grown up in safe environments don't develop RAD.

[@SquirmleSquirmly]

@@gimpinainteasy you can’t just be born with RAD, there might be some genetic influences but you don’t just have it from birth nurture definitely has something to do with it.

[@as4180]

saying that an 11 year old is living a "parasitic lifestyle" is certainly something...

[@kentario1610]

Yeah, I can't believe the audacity of this man. That is exactly why an *unbiased* mental health professional would be the one diagnosing, because the child is *11*. Is he supposed to have a well paid job and fulfilling social life?? (I know I'm being hyperbolic, but I'm angry)

[@notmewtwo4044]

Don't worry sad Gengar things will get better!

[@introvertedjo1238]

Also, multiple marriages because “He doesn’t attach and dating only lasts a few days” Does he not realize that relationships with children are not as committal as a marriage because kids lack the concept of commitment like that…

[@eldenfindley186]

The blog is fake

[@backwardsbandit8094]

"He doesnt have any idea what he wants to do with his future nor does he understand how to achieve it" sir hes 11 "He cant seem to hold down a relationship. They only last from a week to a couple days" SIR. HES 11.

[@dkk2753]

Them saying "it's just a year closer till we can kick him out" at the start was just the biggest red flag to me. To me the parents just seem unhappy they got a child that had a mental illness that may take more effort than just getting the kid a therapist. They probably latched onto the word psychopath, and like a lot of cases started seeing the person given the title as some super villain in their head. Talking about how he knows what Lucas will do when he grows up like he's a character and not a human is just disturbing. They just don't seem to see their kid as a human worth their care. Maybe Harry should get off his ass writing his blog novel and actually try getting his kid help

[@yasumi_na21]

The way I see it, Harry was so ready to diagnose Lucas as a psychopath because this lends some sympathy to him and his wife. While upbringing contributes largely to ASPD, it is still possibly the most stigmatized mental illness. People with Cluster B personality disorders are hardly ever seen as suffering the same way people with other mental illness are. Especially as children, they are seen as a burden on their poor parents.

[@thefiretailedweasel6206]

YES. I had a childhood friend whose parents were emotionally neglectful and they became manipulative and unable to process their emotions or anyone else's. Back when we were still talking, we were practically counting down the days to when we could get them out of that house and get them some help. No child should have to do that.

[@botnet7175]

I feel like it allows him to view himself as a tragic hero and a victim of his own son when he labels him that way.

[@AM-kr4pv]

I absolutely hate that too. Parenting is a life long committment and people who act like it stops at 18 make me angry.

[@SpecialBlanket]

100%

[@eliotbarnhart2810]

Harry wanted to play savior with a "curably" disabled child. When he realized that's hard, decided to get his savior points from parenting a "psychopathic child." I hope Lucas gets put in a better home. This is fucking sickening

[@puchipuchi808]

It's like Harry is the psychopath.

[@missconstruct6968]

@@puchipuchi808 I mean, Sargon's Law states, "the more you claim a person is one thing, the more likely it is that you actually are that thing" Like someone who claims every ex they had was a horrible narcissist

[@puchipuchi808]

@@missconstruct6968 So if keep calling somebody hot and skinny, am I hot and skinny??

[@lyvsix]

This.

[@lyvsix]

@@puchipuchi808 hey it wont hurt to try, right? Lol let us know the results.

[@markhor468]

Harry doing that psychopathy test and giving high scores based on "predictions" makes me so mad. That's not how it works.

[@sssj806]

It's as bad as those people who self-diagnose themselves with mental illnesses by "guessing" how they'd act in certain situations or under different circumstances. I mean, shit, you can self diagnose a cold but you can't just say that you're a schizophrenic because you think you are.

[@sagebias2251]

The actual doctors rated him as a 38.5/40 for psychopathic traits.

[@no_peace]

@@sagebias2251 doctors also misdiagnose like 40% of autistic women with BPD and depression/anxiety

[@jeanettw2341]

@@sagebias2251 He's not even exhibiting traits of psychopathy, he's exhibiting traits of SOCIOpathy.

[@samjarrett5017]

@@sagebias2251 That doesn't mean that Harry was right, it's like how maths teachers always told you to show your workings. You can always get the right answer by luck.

[@whitepeach214]

Why the hell would you leave your child standing in a corner for 4 hours just because they don’t react? The parents sound more like psychopaths, a lot of these things can be prevented just by being a more present and caring parent

[@lanijayne3818]

And then when they said something like “now we’re at a point where we don’t punish or reward him, we just do our own thing and practically ignore him just not let him out of our sight. We don’t care about his happiness. “”He’s happy””. It works for us.”

[@Journey_to_who_knows]

To be fair it seems like a accepted thing, my parents also made me sit alone, but not for 4 hours

[@jasperart1357]

I was wondering this too! Like if i put my child in the corner for ten minutes and after those ten minutes they said nothing, i wouldnt just leave them there! I'd tell them time was up. If Lucas already has trouble with the concept of time, this surely wouldnt help!

[@adam.n-steve]

What's ironic is that doing shit like this is what psychopaths (or maybe sociopaths?) do. Manipulating people to gain sympathy and mask your awful shit. Or they're just one of those people who treat their children like their clot magnet. Remember that one KZbin family that adopted a baby from another country just for them to put him back when he's not profitable anymore. It's really going into that route. Instead of clout, it's their weird psychoanalysis experiment.

[@KarlAndArma4ever]

Harry pretty much admitted to being an absentee parent when explaining that he and his wife didn't want a baby because "it would disrupt their work life," ei they just wanted to have a child for social clout but didn't want to actually care for/parent said child. They shouldn't have adopted at all, never mind a neuro-atypical traumatized child like Lucas.

[@big_and_bookish]

The part about having girlfriends and “not caring” about breakups…the kid is 11. Kids at that age will come home one day and say “I have a bf/gf!” and the next time you ask, respond “oh, we broke up!” then go outside to play. It’s not unusual behavior for a kid of that age at all!

[@JaazBegonias]

Harry, in the Dexter series eventually admits that he should have tried to help Dexter overcome his issues rather than teach him how to control and hide his "psychopathy". He realizes Dexter could have grown to be a good man with the right help. Considering this so "parent" compares his life to this show you think he'd realize the moral of Harry's story in the series.

[@felight5700]

Did the living Harry admit it, or the hallucination of Harry? Think the living Harry was just shocked/scared after walking in on Dexter killing someone, then he died.

[@suitov]

@@felight5700 I can't remember either. I think that might have been head-Harry. (Which would mean it was Dexter himself realising how his upbringing affected him.) I'm reluctant to rewatch the later series because I remember thinking they were getting stupider and stupider, but I might binge some of it again some time when I'm ill.

[@oppaloopa3698]

The fact that he created a sort of persona based on this tv show shows a gross level of immaturity. If you look at a fictional character and decide that your abused 11 year old is doomed to become a serial killer, you need help. The dudes plain weird.

[@samanthade3683]

The concept of time isn’t just something that children just “know”, it’s something that needs taught, demonstrated and practiced. The parents definitely should have started with a goldfish

[@nicholaspeters9919]

Hell, I wouldn’t even trust them with the goldfish. Get these people a ficus.

[@pigsystick8035]

@@nicholaspeters9919 na give them a rock

[@michaelai1453]

@@pigsystick8035 Or an imaginary friend rock, just to be safe

[@spiderssoul]

I always had bad concept of time growing up, and so I was given a cheap watch that I could repeatedly set 5/10/30 minute timers for. My concept is extremely accurate now

[@oppaloopa3698]

@@lorishu48103 20 year old autistic here. I have about 10 alarms set on my phone for every day. Forgot to turn them on once and spent more than a few days in complete limbo. Solidarity, my dude.

[@funkymonkey4279]

i feel really bad for this kid, no child deserves to be treated like weird blog project. not saying the kid hasn't done anything wrong, but the parents dont seem like the greatest people either.

[@micnik3573]

I dont. He sexually assulted people. Stop making excuses for r/pists.

[@pizzariotin]

@@micnik3573 he is 11 years old. we should provide him the help he needs instead of making the situation even worse.

[@miglek9613]

@@micnik3573 it's clearly the parents that turned this child into a rapist though by ignoring signs of extreme emotional distress, like dissociation, and instead acting like the child is just inherently evil

[@unrequin4805]

@@pizzariotin no.

[@pizzariotin]

@@unrequin4805 you sure do live up to your name.

[@illona2537]

This kind of disturbed me because these punishments we're what I went through when living with my grandfather. He'd make me stand it corners for up to 7 hours, I'd get punished for long periods, months not being allowed to read, play anything. Just stare at nothing, do nothing. I stopped caring and just started heavily disassociating most of the time. I remember my aunt grounded me for a week once and I told her "I'm use to it" and she looked at me stunned. I was abused before I started living with them and they couldn't understand that my behavior stemmed from that. That kind of parenting, especially on kids who were previously abused is incredibly fucked up. Edit: I fully believe they induced a lot of this in their child. Predicting his downfall? My grandfather also did that, he'd always tell me I'd end up like my mom and that's what they were scared off. They aren't seeing their son at all for who he is, they aren't trying to know him or ask him any questions that matter. They are pretending to be mind readers.

[@TheInternetInvestigator]

Sorry you went through that :(

[@humdrumbellsongs9083]

i hope you're doing better now, though i already have a strong gut feeling that you're an amazing and intuitive person. you never deserved someone as wretched, ignorant and insignificant like that in your life. i'm so sorry for all that you've been through, and while i can hope the best for you and lucas in life, i trust that you've risen above every single expectation of your 'grandfather's' like a phoenix. i hope you have someone else in your life that understands what you've been through.

[@illona2537]

@@TheInternetInvestigator I'm doing okay now, I just hope Lucas is too.

[@illona2537]

@@humdrumbellsongs9083 Thank you. Luckily I didn't have to live with him as long as Lucas had to with his parents. I feel like I avoided a lot of mental damage I could have gotten if I stayed there longer. I'm doing much better and I do have good people in my life now. I hope Lucas does too

[@takke9830]

Those people are the real villians here polluting the minds of innocent kids like you with their sick sadistic games. Punishment like this is literally just sick power play and sadism cause ppl get off to tormenting their kids in extreme ways. It‘s disgusting af. And i hope those peoplw rot alone in some nursing home some day cause they deserve that. If a parent isn‘t able to treat their child with dignity and humanity they don‘t deserve anything. Not a single thing. Adults like that to me who are also arrogant and refuse to learn are beyond redemption.

[@atticusk5663]

“We knowingly adopted a child with a traumatic past but now he’s acting like a traumatized child oh no who could have seen this coming feel sorry for me”

[@cinnastag]

"We also treated him with further abuse, and now he's acting like someone who is abused...we can't believe that our awesome parenting caused this, it must by psychopathy"

[@atticusk5663]

@@cinnastag after abusing this traumatized child we are clearly the victims suffering from said traumatized abused child

[@cinnastag]

@@atticusk5663 Is it me who is wrong? No, it is obviously the children that I'm responsible for

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@cinnastag ‘I am the victim of the traumatised child I abused’

[@admiralofcuteness]

The sky is down, the ground is up, and fish can breathe outside the water. I just left my fish on the counter. Not sure why it died... it must have wanted to.

[@hdofu]

They didn't want a baby... but a troubled child seemed like a good idea? Honestly, those parents should have stayed with something they could possibly handle... like a goldfish

[@emilybarclay8831]

They’d probably be the types to have a goldfish in a tiny bowl

[@leilanivaughan-williams3038]

@@emilybarclay8831 nah they'd keep the goldfish in a cup and if the goldfish doesn't swim good refuse to feed it

[@daveshif2514]

They would determine that their goldfish is in fact a psychopath

[@lyvsix]

A goldfish is a bit too much, I woild recommend a cactus.

[@isabelw6265]

@@lyvsixone of those fake plastic cactuses that don’t actually need water or sunlight

[@riley9031]

the end of the “test” portion where harry proceeded to say he has a science background and he knows his son better than anyone else and is more qualified or equally as qualified as anyone else, is probably the biggest red flag of all of this. even if this is what lucas is going through, immediately assuming and then “confirming” to yourself via a half assed “psychological evaluation” that your 11 year old, who’s not even allowed to be tested for apd at a clinical level, is some sort of ticking time bomb with no hope of help or intervention is such a twisted thing to do.

[@thatradfailure5197]

Yeah, the "science" background that was briefly mentioned irritated me, too. Perhaps I wasn't listening as well as I though, but I don't even recall him saying what science it was. Most sciences, especially math based, aren't the same as sociology/psychology. Harry was absolutely trying to get Lucas to fit a mold, and eventually forced him to. Man has some rose colored glasses for his son that makes all the traumas, possible neurodivergence (as a lot of fellow ND commenters have pointed out, and ND individuals have a "gaydar", as my friend, autistic and studying sociology, put it, for fellow ND), and typical child behavior look like they're that of a murderer that's a free as the breeze. It's horrible, and I wish Lucas the best. There's so many red flags with Harry himself

[@whatadinosaur]

the fact that he marked lucas as a two for the multiple marriages thing when his 11 years old…. or the he couldn’t find a psychiatrist to do an analysis on him because hes so young and then they magically find one who completely agrees and thinks its worse

[@pyxeeful]

@@whatadinosaur yeah that will happen if you shop enough doctors. That's how munchausen types get away with what they do so often. Doctor doesn't agree or gets sus? Always another one.

[@SeanStrife]

I wonder if it would be too much to refer to Harry as a narcissist...

[@thatradfailure5197]

@@SeanStrife Narcissist, yes. We don't know enough to properly even armchair diagnose. But oh yeah he absolutely has narcissistic personality traits, just so freaking full of himself, really needs knocked down a few pegs and his child taken away

[@mochiamori]

the part where harry states that he and his wife barely interact with lucas and just treat him like some sort of pet that only gets the bare necessities to survive while under constant supervision definitely concerned me. of course he's not gonna be able to form meaningful connections with others when his own parents refuse to do so with him. not once in any of those blog posts did I hear mention of harry sitting down and having a heart-to-heart conversation with lucas about his behavior. even if lucas doesn't have the capacity to engage in an emotional conversation like that just giving him that open outlet as a parent would probably help a lot.

[@yup5053]

exactly. they knowingly took in a kid with RAD and simultaneously decided to not even engage with him. of course he has no meaningful relationships, he developed RAD at an early age any no one bothered to work on that.

[@Nameless-ny8nk]

I feel so bad for him, he came from a broken unloving family, believed he was going into a better one, then realized that it simply wasn't going to happen, he probably felt like he was unlovable with his biological family and the way they treat him now probably confirmed it, no fucking wonder he behaves the way he does, as far as he knows, there's no way to fix him, nobody has hope for him ever becoming better, so why bother trying, this really sounds like a self-fulfilling profecy.

[@BluetheRaccoon]

I'm honestly surprised autism hasn't been suggested as a possibility, and their preference for punishment vs. teaching self-discipline truly disturbs me. I also find Harry to be an unreliable narrator, as he both discusses escalating punishment to spanking and beating, but claims to never have done so a few sentences later.

[@sharkologies]

yes!!! my first thought when they mentioned the inability to differentiate between lengths of time and lengths/measurement!! i’m autistic and this is a super big symptom for me

[@bobbabobba5567]

@@sharkologies this sounds like nonverbal learning disability to me, which i have

[@sharkologies]

@@bobbabobba5567 interesting!! thanks for the info!

[@cinnastag]

Autism or ADHD...any condition with executive dysfunction symptoms really. Even PTSD. Not psychopathy. He treated him like a psychopath, now he's acting like one...who could've predicted?

[@bobbabobba5567]

@@cinnastag i agree i personally think he has fetal alcohol syndrome and no psychopathy

[@xduwu4257]

was trying to look up some of the comments/reactions to this blog while watching this in the background, and saw this quote that shows how uneducated harry is about psychological issues: "This isn’t ADHD. If anything it is the exact opposite of ADHD. He focuses so intently on something that all the other ‘noise’ in his mind can’t break through. I believe this is the reason for all the behaviors I have documented in this blog. It’s never a willful attempt to break the rules. It’s never with malice. His mind simply doesn’t have access to the rules at the time he needs them most." So like. Hyperfixation. Hyper focusing. Very VERY common adhd symptoms...jfc.

[@xduwu4257]

also i don't really get how they were okay with children with behavioral issues, just not major health conditions, but when the child has severe behavioral issues the dad makes a blog about what a monster he is raising?

[@Terri_MacKay]

Absolutely!! My adult daughter has ADHD, and since her diagnosis I've come to realize how misunderstood the condition is. People assume that it's an inability to focus on anything, and that certainly happens at times, but they don't realize that people with ADHD will also, paradoxically, hyperfixate and hyperfocus. And that hyperfixation can last days, weeks, or even months.

[@thatradfailure5197]

I suspect I have inattentive ADHD, and hyperfocus especially explains some behaviors from my childhood, including neglecting my need to go to the bathroom until the last minute so I could continue playing my games or playing with my toys. I have, luckily, grown out of that a long time ago, though that's not to say it doesn't still occasionally happen, without any messes. As a lot of fellow ND have mentioned, Lucas sounds like he has various disorders, though a concrete one is, naturally, hard to say. A lot of the things Harry says lines up with ADHD, autism, OCD, possibly BPD, and more than I may not know about. Would love to say this is fake, but from what I've seen from actual human beings, it really doesn't seem like it to me... Hoping the best for Lucas

[@Hadeshy]

THANK YOU! As someone with ADHD this entire quote was enraging me. Not just the quote actually. Sometimes I could swear he was describing my life and struggles. Except I am far from having a antisocial personality disorder x) I just have an ADHD, maybe autism.

[@kenziescout2343]

This part of his symptomatology actually screams fetal alcohol exposure to me, especially with some of the concepts he reportedly fails to grasp, such as inability to predict he will lose at a game he has just lost at several times in a row.

[@kylesugarman]

"We never hit him, even though we wanted to". Uh oh!! First red flag! I work in residential psychiatry for adolescents, spending nearly every day in a facility with teenagers who have had similar upbringings to Lucas and have a lot of trauma as a result, including RAD (reactive attachment disorder). These kids are incredible and need support, love, and a strong plan blending therapeutic and psychiatric intervention so they can healthily deal with their trauma and find their best selves. To even dream of hitting any of these kids when they're threatening you or trying to break windows, especially knowing where they come from and what they've been through, is just sickening. Lucas was failed by these people and the system at large.

[@natk4017]

Wait are you really advocating not to hit your kid when they *break a window*? Most parents are at least going to give a spanking for that kind of behavior.

[@caliwagg1898]

@@natk4017 Yeah, violence is gonna teach a child not to be violent.

[@natk4017]

@@caliwagg1898 yeah cause grounding a kid who's *breaking windows* is gonna do a lot of good lmfao 🙄

[@Boggythefroggy]

@@natk4017 if you knew anything about child developmental psychology you would know there is no efficacy in using corporal punishment, especially if you’re doing it to a child who has been heavily traumatized already. Especially with a younger child, physical punishment does not teach what you think it teaches an angry, reactive child. It’s like throwing gasoline on a fire. These kids need therapy and emotional work, not more physical harm.

[@natk4017]

@@Boggythefroggy Corporal punishment shouldn't rise to the level of physical harm. It's a open hand light smack on the butt and should only be used on kids under like 10. If your defining corporal punishment as punching your kid in the mouth you're mistaken. Corporal punishment shouldn't even really hurt if implemented correctly it's phycological more than anything. Which is why corporal punishment has been a part of parental history in literally almost every culture. Abuse and corporal punishment aren't the same which is why the law is what it is 🤷

[@BlackIsALightShade]

i was adopted. my mental health TANKED around age 11. by age 13, i was having violent and scary intrusive thoughts. i’m sooooo thankful my (adoptive) parents got me help from adolescent psychologists. they had me medicated, too. no matter how much i acted out, screamed, threw things, hit walls etc they never gave up on me. my mood disorder leveled out around age 17-18. i went on to live a normal life. i cannot imagine where i would be today if i had parents like lucas has.

[@stan8479]

Glad to hear your mental health evened out a bit. It just goes to show that puberty affects mental health to an absurd level, especially in those of us who had a bad or traumatic start in life. It's also why parents should stop treating their children like they'll be the same their entire lives, and therefor "can't be helped". That's a neglectful mindset and only harms these children more.

[@pablowentscobar]

It really seems like "Harry" cared more about playing psychologist and writing his blog then getting actual help for "Lucas". I get the feeling "Harry" thinks he knows better than the health professionals. Seems like "Lucas" might not be the only psychopath. Sad situation. Great video though.

[@cathuria5818]

I think everyone is Abit sociopathic

[@sourgreendolly7685]

@@cathuria5818 You’re wrong, that’s not how that works

[@cathuria5818]

@@sourgreendolly7685 I should rephrase I mean narcissistic

[@cathuria5818]

@@sourgreendolly7685 also please see the other comments I made on this video.

[@pablowentscobar]

@@cathuria5818 You're not wrong. I would have phrased it, "Everyone at some point shows sociopathic behaviors".

[@serpenking]

I don't think the father realizes how much of a self tell "pat us on the back for not hitting our evil pyscho child" is on their parenting skills. The constant mention of bedwetting makes me nervous. bedwetting past a certain age can be a sign of sexual abuse, which is a whole nother can of worms.

[@SasoAkasuna]

Thats exactly what I was thinking about, it's really scary to think about everything this kid had to go through. And like even if they didn't hit him (which they mentioned doing so idk anymore) they still verbally and mentally abused him all the time, they demonized and dehumanized this child and blamed him for his trauma and the issues it have him, it's just reslly really awful.

[@serpenking]

@@SasoAkasuna the mentions of abnormal/negative sexual behaviors is also troubling, as sexual trauma at an early age, if left unattended and ignored as in this case, can sometimes manifest in actions like that. Kid got played a bad card from the start, and his parents didn't give enough of a shit to help him.

[@wolfie1234100]

"I am very intelligent!" Sounds like a strange man to me.

[@papachrist200]

And the addition of deviant sexual behavior and sexual violence at an extremely early age also doesn’t bode well If this story is true I hope that kid got all the help he needed and is at least able to live a somewhat fulfilling life without hurting other people

[@wolfie1234100]

@@papachrist200 Could also be sign of sexual abuse. Hope it is not that!

[@ParBar19]

Sexual abuse. Most children don't just start touching other people inappropriately out of nowhere. It's a learned behavior. The constant bed wetting and numbness might also result from it being sexual abuse. All I feel is sadness for Lucas, there was something that happened to him before being adopted, and it's extremely distressing the way the dad is explaining everything. I remember when some stuff happened to me In kindergarten I got really attached to my mom and also had a shift in my overall behavior. My mom told me as a kid I was always angry and hated the world growing up. I also started to develop hyper-sexuality in first grade, which is a common sign of the abuse he may have endured.

[@pinkpugginz]

I wouldn't be surprised if the guy that was posting all this was sexually abusing him

[@sophiec1528]

Why is Harry writing fanfic about how his son is gonna rape people and murder his parents? This guy should not be a parent. He also has no business diagnosing anyone with psychopathy/sociopathy. He seems to think he's in a TV show and this is all a game, but this is a kid's life. I don't care how badly behaved Lucas is, he doesn't deserve this. He needs more empathetic parents. Also it's hilarious reading him "disagree" with how therapists treat his son. And why does he assume he has no emotion, rather than a problem with expression? It's as if Harry views Lucas as a non-entity who has no internal world. Very disturbing BTW just a small thing - in "flat affect", the "affect" is pronounced like "AH-fect" (first syllable stressed). It's a common mistake

[@lyvsix]

He's the one someone should write a blog about lol

[@marsmellon]

I was thinking the same thing, him thinking that he knows better than the therapists. And that the new therapist understand Lucas' so called "situation" - even though that situation is Harry's unprofessional diagnosis of his son being a psychopath. I can't believe how massively he fucks up every decision, every turn of Lucas' life. Harry saying how smart he is.. How is it that these 'smart' people don't know that a child needs a caring home: That they need opportunities to be social, to play, to make mistakes, etc. This sickens me to my core.

[@raxxology]

I could be wrong but I don't recall them ever saying that they tried to love him or show him love in any way. Just because a child is a psychopath, doesn't guarantee they will become dangerous. The ways in which this couple have raised the kid have almost guaranteed that he has. I'd wager the boy has autism rather than psychopathy. They sound like the last people who should have raised a child.

[@raxxology]

One more thing. I noticed how proud the writer sounded. Almost as if he thinks the world revolves around him. Maybe he's the psychopath in the scenario.

[@XOChristianaNicole]

As an autistic psychopath.. Thank you.

[@XOChristianaNicole]

@@raxxology - Same as psychopaths aren’t guaranteed to be dangerous - they aren’t guaranteed to be narcissistic, either.

[@lyvsix]

Thank you, even if he ended up being diagnosed with psychopathy or sociopathy it doesn't mean he will be violent and mean.... ppl see them as monsters, they just need to have proper help and a healthy environment, is just a 1% of them creating all the buzz.

[@lyvsix]

@@XOChristianaNicole sorry that you have to live with the huge stigma your diagnosis carries... I have bpd and that has caused enough problems but most ppl are just scared of ppl like u for no reason, just what they see in tv shows and shit....

[@darkunykorn404]

I'm 10 minutes in but, excuse me, if your kid can't understand the concept of time that's when you get him to a psychologist and possibly even a neurologist, not write about it on the Internet. I swear. Even the case mentioned earlier, of breaking into other people's house and getting aroused reminds me of how my cousin (who had Down Syndrome) would grab and try to kiss my sister. He wasn't a psychopath. He was a neglected child with mental disabilities that wasn't treated as he needed. But his mom, my aunt, believes 100% she was a Good Mom and did All She Could (she wasn't and she didn't). He eventually ate himself into an early grave. RIP, Alex.

[@Luminousreign]

they did, kids got attachment disorrder. Bad from the sounds of things. they created a loop of bad behavior by giving the kid the attention he craves when he acts bad, and then sensationalize it and label their kid a psycho.

[@sammowastaken]

don't worry it's probably fake, it's the internet.

[@darkunykorn404]

@@sammowastaken I really really hope it's fake, but on the off-chance that it's real... as I saw my cousin grow and die due to well-intentioned neglect, I don't doubt it might actually happen somewhere :-/

[@kenziescout2343]

I'm also concerned about the reported bedwetting as occurring SEVERAL times PER NIGHT. Repeated bedwetting like that is extremely uncommon and due to medical issues that don't simply clear up (such as diabetes). I've worked w child trauma victims for a decade and never even HEARD of a case of bedwetting that severe being attributed to psychological issues. Either Harry is not disclosing the medical cause of the bedwetting, he is misremembering, or he is lying. Many of Lucas' cognitive issues suggest fetal alcohol exposure to me.

[@Tser]

Yeah, that time thing is a sign of being neurodivergent, not a "psychopath". This is so horrifying.

[@precureshu]

"We abused a child with a traumatic past :( please feel bad for us"

[@shivvWhore]

Anyone else screaming 'HE'S 11!' when they were going through the 'psychopath checklist'?

[@pestilenssi8979]

FUCKING ABSOLUTELY THERES A REASON WHY CHILDREN AREN'T DIAGNOSED WITH ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

[@Exsugarbabe1]

The girlfriend bit is ridiculous, the kid is 11.

[@ayjay579]

They said he doesn’t understand the future but he originally asked how much longer when they picked him up, he knew that his friend would be in trouble later after blaming him for something, and he knows to wait until his parents are gone to do bad things. They asking said he doesn’t understand the link between the punishment and the act but he knew his friend would get in trouble. The more I watch this the more obvious it is that the parents just don’t care and are seeing whatever they want to see in him. They’re the psychopaths and they’re projecting it onto their son because they clearly can’t grasp the idea that their actions have consequences or that they could ever be at fault for anything. They are describing themselves throughout this story and if this post is real I truly hope they go to prison because they are child abusers. They’re turning their son into the psychopath they need him to be in order to excuse their inability to feel empathy towards him and his situation. They keep proving that their son doesn’t actually display these behaviors while also proving that they do.

[@bigasspockets]

I agree, they keep saying “I’m assuming he has this thought process because his reaction to this negative thing isn’t what we expected, so he must be immune to this negative thing!” When that actually just sounds like a neurodivergent or traumatized child whose caretakers don’t want to take the time to figure out how their child needs them to communicate and what their child’s thought process is. Not one single time did they describe Lucas telling them why he lied, behaved a certain way, them adjusting their reward mechanisms and explaining them to him, etc. they just expect him to have some implicit social understanding that he likely doesn’t have, and instead of teaching him they are punishing him for it

[@lisacain3741]

This is classic FASD. It is entirely possible for a kid with FASD to openly wonder how long something will take, and even get impatient with a wait, while at the same time have no concept of the future and have a very distorted understanding of time in general.

[@pennyforyourthots]

That's actually a good point, they contradict themselves constantly. Like, if he really doesn't care, then why did he need so much attention as a child? At the very least that suggests that he BECAME uncaring, rather than always being that way, but he also constantly expresses emotion. Very clearly feels lust considering his sexual deviancy, and if you take off the psychopath glasses for a second, he very clearly felt angry and upset. Lucas shows emotion all the time, but because they've already assumes that he's a psychopath, they see all this Behavior as acting rather than the genuine emotions that they are, and he has no excuse for the early childhood where he very clearly showed emotion. Also, while he doesn't show a good understanding of time, like you mentioned he does show a concept of time occasionally, it's just more abstract. He probably couldn't tell you something was an hour away, but he can very clearly tell that there is a future, why would he wait for the popcorn if he didn't eventually expected to be popped? A lot of these behaviors only really seen concerning when you can only do it through the lines of him being a psychopath, when you drop that preconception, a lot of these are normal childhood behaviors or behaviors that he wasn't socialized out of because they became his "Wardens"

[@vykcryptid]

@@bigasspockets I'd assumed dyscalculia with the time and measurement difficulties . The "parents" are abusive and horrifying and this is classic "abusive parent diagnoses their victim with a highly stigmatised personality disorder to justify their abuse" it's super common with "autism parents" too

[@JaazBegonias]

Funnily enough Harry, in the Dexter series eventually admits that he should have tried to help Dexter overcome his issues rather than teach him how to control and hide his "psychopathy". Considering this so called "parent" compares his life to this show you think he'd realize the moral of Harry's story in the series. That he should have HELPED his child.

[@imissimeem]

With any luck Harry stopped posting because either: a) someone outed him for his lies and none of this was true. b) someone called CPS on him because he and his wife decided that abusing their troubled son was the answer to his problems and regularly thought himself a better arbiter of his child's mental health than trained professionals.

[@SageK253]

I know I'm a bit late to the game, but I wanted to add, from a counselor's perspective: Many of these traits that Harry uses to justify calling Lucas a "psychopath" are perfectly normal childhood things. For example, an 11 year-old thinking they're the center of the universe? Yes. That's normal. And actually healthy. We aren't born with empathy for others, we learn it as we grow, and when there's trauma involved, that learning takes a bit longer. Thinking he's a "great person"? I'm thrilled to hear that, most kids that age should think that. The issues that's aren't as normal scream "screen for Childhood S* A*". Bed wetting, inappropriate intensity in interest in sex, the "hardcore porn" searches? I can almost guarantee that this kid has been hurt in a very very real way. As for Harry's parenting, it's neglectful at best and outright abusive at worst. He admits to forcing Lucas to stand in a corner for four hours, before he was even 9 years old? That's horrific. I honestly don't even want to go on from there. Calling himself a warden is enough to be honest. Children are incredibly perceptive, and I can promise you that Harry's disdain for Lucas was being broadcast loud and clear. It's no wonder things kept escalating with Lucas. When you choose to become a parent, especially when it's a deliberate choice like this where you even get to choose your kid, you have a duty to support them and believe in them and find what they need. I see little to no evidence that Harry ever did this. Shit, he outright says his child is incapable of feeling love. Sir, you should not be a parent. Important to note: I do not work directly with children, and have only had the basic, cursory training regarding early childhood development, not any specialized courses or trainings. However, based on the training I've had, if a client came to me describing this as their child, I would recommend seeking out a specialist and asking for screenings for trauma and neurodivergence (such as autism and or ADHD, but there's a lot under the ND banner) as a starting point, because there's a lot of signs pointing to both of those. Edited to add: due to my own childhood issues and dealing with triggers, I ended up having to stop this video about halfway through, so forgive me if I made points that were touched on after I stopped.

[@yahyahyor]

Can't ignore his sexual assault on another child, though.

[@Romanticoutlaw]

@yahyahyor which is yet another huge red flag for a csa survivor. Obviously, it was wrong. But what do you propose be done about it, other than help Lucas work through his issues in a way that will hopefully keep him from ever doing it again?

[@jessadelix7415]

Wow I got the Dexter reference immediately when I heard he was called Harry. This guy defo decided to pick a child with a background of intense trauma. Although Dexter was first released in 2006 and his first post in 2008 said they adopted him 5 years previously. So maybe he had a slight obsession with trauma or psychopathy before adopting, and that’s why Dexter intrigued him so much after. Also I love how they don’t count behavioral issues as being as much work as being disabled. Lol. How insane.

[@skyofthelivingdead]

Dexter is based on a book series, which first came out in 2004.

[@darkunykorn404]

That part re: disability SCREAMED out to me. Like wtf???

[@teambeining]

Special Books for Special Kids did an interview with a teen sociopath. It was very enlightening; he seemed like a regular guy. Once he learned his diagnosis, he learned to stay away from the triggers that gave him the urge to manipulate.

[@magpieinthelibrary5691]

Oh I remember that episode.

[@dharnasahu2506]

That's actually so good for him, I hope he lives his life as a normal person🙏

[@lyvsix]

That is what those who get proper therapy look like, not the serial killer idea portrayed by the media.

[@littlewillow2274]

That last part is a lie.

[@ocalimirosubso]

@@littlewillow2274 no it's not. I was diagnosed with ASPD a few years back, always known as a sociopath in my small social circle. I've learned to react differently to things. I could feel emotions, partially. I took advantage of that and now i'm living my life like a normal person. it's a mental illness like all the others, it can be treated. i don't see your point.

[@karak962]

it breaks my heart, the toy part. I think those tears were very real...I had violent tendencies as a child in response to trauma and i remember sobbing in shame and regret at some point because i knew i had done something wrong. he’s not a monster but they treat him like one...

[@Rosie-co9wb]

I am nothing even close to a professional, but to me it seems like the kid is more likely to have some kind of intellectual/learning difficulty with the not understandig time or consequences. Harry also seems to think very highly of himself and his own judgement going through the diagnostic criteria.

[@Casterisks]

yes! clearly something is going on out of his or his parents control symptoms such as issues with telling distance often happen with disorders such as dyscalculia (math dyslexia) issues with telling time often occur with autism and adhd, etc etc the parents clearly haven't taken him to a doctor or child psycologist for these issues that need to be checked out. (despite the RAD diagnosis and years of therapy, the other issues need to be checked on, that's a clear sign of developemental delays)

[@damnitsem]

Imagine talking about your own son like this and then saying he's the only one who lacks empathy here

[@escapedscienceexperiement9824]

So his behavior is "premeditated" but at the same time he "doesnt care enough to notice who he runs over"? this whole story is sketchy

[@rebeccasheley5762]

it's def fake

[@escapedscienceexperiement9824]

@@rebeccasheley5762 yeah. either that or the narrator is extremely unreliable and this blog is documenting abuse. abusers tend to have this kind of manipulative language to "smoothen" out their actions. a lot of the details in this post makes me think that this is what is going on.

[@no_peace]

@@escapedscienceexperiement9824 if it's real it's definitely abuse even if they're hiding the more cut and dry majorly illegal aspects of it

[@Kiterpuss]

I'm intensely questioning how true this all could be because it's not standard to allow a special needs child to be adopted to inexperienced parents without expectations of regular meetings with a social worker. This father sounds delusional in his understanding of Lucas. Lucas clearly has some developmental delays and doesn't have a good grasp on cause and effect, but that's not a sign of being a psychopath (which 1-4 people out of 100 are so what even is he on about), it's a sign of developmental delay. If anything, Lucas's behavior aligns more with sociopathy which requires very different methods to treat. This story is just about a broken child who was further traumatized and abused by parents who chose to vilify and demonize him. 90% of what the father describes as problem behaviors are just... signs of childhood. Gods this story is awful everytime I hear it.

[@TheInternetInvestigator]

It sounds like social workers (and therapists etc) saw Lucas pretty frequently, but yeah I have no idea if it's all true. Agreed, they definitely jumped the gun on the psychopath diagnosis, probably partly because it sounds like they had no prior experience with kids. There are some alarming details mentioned in the blog, but some incidents are blown out of proportion.

[@skumkii]

fr, I feel so sad for this child :(

[@Kiterpuss]

@@TheInternetInvestigator The story repeatedly mentions psychiatrists, who ate professionals that focus on the physiological/medication side of things, not the behavioral stuff. Chances are if there were regular check ins with someone experienced in ODD and the like, they would not have allowed the parents to treat Lucas how the father claims to have. At this point, I guess I'm just wishing for this level of neglect and abuse to be a made up story. If it isn't, there were so many people who failed Lucas.

[@wolfie1234100]

@@Kiterpuss They don't listen to the professional's so they could also lie to them?

[@Charlieterror]

No the foster and adoption system is incredibly broken. They allow under prepared parents take in disabled children all the time.

[@woas_hellzone]

Lucas sounds like a child who experienced such severe trauma growing up that his mind has completely checked out from being a person like the other people around him. this is just incredibly sad

[@stan8479]

You make a good point. Is it possible that he's often dissociating, and that's why he doesn't react?

[@BR-ec2ph]

There's definitely a psychopath in this story -- but it isn't the kid.

[@memeju1ce]

holy shit imagine your parent writing a list of predictions that involve such awful things!

[@acidberry3630]

Harry sounds like the psychopath here

[@memeju1ce]

@@acidberry3630 maybe he’s projecting a bit here XD also like his relationships only lasting days or weeks?? bitch he’s ELEVEN

[@HansBelphegor]

My fathers wife "predicted " me to do similarly aweful things... once i left home at 16, im the only "kid" that hasn't had to move back in... but she still thinks i am nothing but a druggie theif, (never done drugs, and i work for my money and swing trade for kicks) Shit parents gonna parent like shit.

[@memeju1ce]

@@HansBelphegor a lot of kids end up replicas of their parents. i’m glad you aren’t! i wish you were in a better situation. not every parent deserves a child but every child deserves a parent

[@SoulxSpectre]

Wow these adoptive parents were in way over their heads, and to paraphrase - "he lays in bed staring at the ceiling with a flat affect most the time but honestly he's always happy and we punish his traumatised 11 year old behavior with pseudo torture techniques, we are responsible for him coming on leaps and bounds" is pure delirium on their part.

[@emilybrown3689]

I've never wanted something to be an art project, social experiment, or some type of un-fiction so badly in my life. However, with experience and seeing "parents" like "Harry", this feels so, so dirty. If it's real, I hope and pray Lucas found a better family and support system, and is doing well. ):

[@jacobcrowder2600]

I clicked on this video expecting a really interesting psychological assessment of someone trying their best to raise a son with emotional scars. Nope. Now I'm just furious and disgusted that Harry has the nerve to call himself a dad.

[@littlegoblin6923]

god this case is so frustrating because it’s so obvious that Lucas is a traumatized kid with a developmental disorder (either adhd or autism)!!! Every symptom of “psychopathy” that he displayed can very easily be explained as a symptom of a development disorder or a trauma response!!! What’s even more concerning is that he displays a lot of trauma responses that sexual abuse survivors display (bed wetting, becoming overly sexual, and having a distorted view of consent) and his dad just didn’t care :( this kid should’ve been given a home where he was loved and cared for but instead was just given more abuse PS ten bucks the reason they went through so many psychiatrists is because they left as soon as the psychiatrist started criticizing the parents behavior

[@wrexvincent]

'Harry' is displaying more traits of NPD than Lucas is it seems

[@kobsy7074]

From someone on the high functioning end of the ASD spectrum, I would disagree that Lucas has Autism. The lack of emotion, regret, objection to removed stimuli and other behaviors do not align with what I, others and the general field of metal health have discovered and experienced. There will always be exceptions and everyone is different; but I think that the behaviors he is exhibiting is the polar opposite of what would be classified as atypical behavior for someone on the ASD spectrum. I cannot speak for ADHD because I do not experience that particular disorder

[@lesbianjimmyfallon]

@@kobsy7074 autism is a spectrum, and not just a linear one , for a reason. two autistic people can present with extremely different traits. it's entirely possible that lucas could be autistic.

[@pennyforyourthots]

@@kobsy7074 keep in mind, Harry is an unreliable narrator, so a lot of these behaviors likely aren't exactly as he depicts them. For example, the "lack of emotion" that Harry describes is more likely an inability to read social cues and come up with a corresponding response on Lucas's part, which is a fairly common trait of autistic people. The objection to removed stimuli is also likely his perception of sensory issues, which are also fairly common amongst autistic people across the Spectrum. Harry contradicts himself multiple times, so the symptoms as presented are likely not entirely accurate, keep in mind, he admitted to not being trained in diagnosing any type of mental health. That being said, a lot of the other behaviors I think do sound like some behaviors that are fairly common across the autism spectrum, like the difficulty with time perception, a lack of understanding of consent for physical contact (though i find this is usually more common in low-functioning people and tends to be a learned behavior), etc. A lot of his behaviors can be fairly well attributed to some level of the autism spectrum, regular childhood behaviors (keep in mind he's only 11), and perhaps some other diagnosis that explains the traits that generally don't correspond to autism.

[@no_peace]

@@kobsy7074 people who are well informed about the diversity of autistic people and presentations of autism don't use the term "high functioning"

[@hachikos]

man, this is awful & i really hope it's some sort of creative writing project rather than reality. these parents seem extremely uneducated about mental health issues, and ill-equipped to handle a child with severe ones. how dare they adopt a child that they were explicitly told was at risk of developing severe mental health issues, then make a blog about their 11-year-old son being the boogeyman when he displays symptoms they were aware he had. it's like they don't even see this kid as their son, how horrifying.

[@breadmiIk]

On god

[@lyvsix]

Im sorry to break it to you but the vast majority of ppl know close to nothing about mental health and the bits and pieces of info they remember are all mixed up and filled with prejudice and wrong assuptions. That is no excuse however, they should have not been given this child to begin with but they never bothered to get proper education on these issues....

[@lisacain3741]

As the parent of an adopted kid with FASD, "Lucas" has textbook FASD and the social workers severely failed him by not getting him diagnosed and by not educating his parents about it and linking them with appropriate supports.

[@magpieinthelibrary5691]

I was about to comment something similar.

[@Kitty-mb4hy]

Sorry what is FASD?

[@lisacain3741]

@@Kitty-mb4hy fetal alcohol spectrum disorder

[@Kitty-mb4hy]

@@lisacain3741 ah thank you, I'm just used to that being called FAS, fetal alcohol syndrome.

[@lisacain3741]

@@Kitty-mb4hy depends on where you live, but that is an old term. FAS generally refers to those who have the sentinel facial features, but only an estimated 10-20% of those affected do.

[@SepiaSapien]

So they took a traumatized child so they could traumatize him more? .... Sure...

[@panqueque445]

There definitely seems like there's something going on with him, but they already decided that he's a psychopath and won't take "no" for an answer. It's hard to take anything he says at face value knowing he's filtering everything through his "my son is a psychopath" lenses. The only person with an impartial view on his son (and the only one equipped with the knowledge to diagnose someone) is his therapist.

[@kenziescout2343]

Also, "psychopath" is not a diagnosis, so I'm not sure what he's on about when he talks about appropriate ages to diagnose psychopathy??

[@panqueque445]

@@kenziescout2343 That's why I'm very reluctant to take anything he says seriously. He clearly doesn't know what he's talking about. He noticed his kid was acting weird, Googled it, read some list of symptoms like "signs you might be a psychopath" on Buzzfeed or something, and became convinced his son is a psychopath. He even took his kid to a new therapist because he was convinced he was being fooled by him and just didn't get that he was a psychopath.

[@lyvsix]

@@kenziescout2343 exactly, the only proper diagnosis in the dsm 5 is antisocial personality disorder. That being said some psychologists use the terms psychopath and sociopath to describe different symptoms, like two subtypes of the same disorder. It is useful for some of them but for the public and the media they just mean scary ppl, probably serial killers in the making with no ability to control themselves, basically evil beasts waiting to prey on anyone... So those who have been diagnosed have to keep it a secret just because most ppl refuse to do the minimal research nor believe anything they say, and never get closer, which is not the best situation for anyone with a personality disorder ( i know first hand). Oh and now its trendy to call all your exes narcissists and sociopaths....ok karen, whatever.

[@lyvsix]

@@panqueque445 buzzfeed hahaha shit, I would really laugh it this wasnt that fucking accurate...he is looking for someone who will give the kid the diagnosis HE has chosen...wtf...

[@MannyJazzcats]

how does having no concept of time indicate psychopathy or sociopathy

[@screaminmeani]

It doesn't! It indicates a cognitive disability!!!!

[@cathuria5818]

@@screaminmeani I have anti social personality disorder and I have a concept of time Just no time management skill

[@screaminmeani]

@@cathuria5818 ok. But it is stated that the child was diagnosed with FAE and or FASD fetal alcohol spectrum disorder or fetal alcohol effect...and that is a cognitive disability (a birth brain injury) that can affect different areas of the brain and is a lifelong disability- not a personality disorder. This dad is calling behaviors that might come from sensory overload or processing disorders - he is calling them straight symptoms of psychopaths with no acknowledgement of the actual disability this child has.

[@thebeetleball]

It really doesn't, it does however sound like adhd, I should know; I have it, and that sounded like what i have only a little more extreme. He could be neurodivergent

[@no_peace]

Just want to make it clear I'm not defending this guy. I don't think his point is that time blindness is a symptom of those conditions. I think he's saying that not being able to sense time passing is part of the cause of Lukas (Lucas? ) acting out. And he's saying "i can't hurt this kid by doing horrible things to him for longer and longer periods of time because he doesn't understand what a long time is." Like one minute of being grounded is the same as two years of being grounded, the "dad" is saying. So Lukas doesn't respond to rewards or punishments and the dad incorrectly believes that the result of that is psychopathy He's also saying Lukas doesn't respond to punishment because he experiences all time as "right now" so getting grounded tomorrow doesn't matter. And he doesn't mind being grounded anyway because any amount of time feels the same as a minute or whatever. It's fantastical Not changing behavior in response to consequences is a legit issue for people who have time blindness but it isn't the way he describes it and it doesn't cause psychopathy. I'm nearly totally time blind and I care deeply about other people, never want to be manipulative, etc.

[@saradapagediocletian9707]

Psychopathy is NOT a diagnosis, Harry! It's a collection of thought patterns and behaviors. Smfh get this man the father of the year award.

[@Hoppelpinguin]

The moment he started praising himself and his wife, I knew where this is going. People like that adopt to "save" a child (and they want everyone to know how great they are for it) and not to have a family. Also, if your child doesn't understand the concept of time, then help them understand it? Don't just sit there like a scientist studying monkeys and look how long it takes for him to ask. The punishment for doing X is no TV for 3 days. Period. Whether he seems distressed about it or not. That child is so clearly heavily traumatized and was so obviously abused before that the parents would have to be the psychopaths for not recognizing what's going on. If the blog is that old, then "Lucas" must be an adult now. I would like to know what happened to him.

[@bytemedia6672]

I'm gonna be honest, a lot of what he described was me growing up. My primary caregiver had such a flux in emotions that sometimes praise would be followed with abuse, abuse would be followed by sobbing and punishment would be followed by gaslighting. I remember several days of just sitting in my room with no stimulus because I didn't know how to react to something being taken away; I might get hit, apologized to or told I never had it to begin with so I was stuck like a deer in the headlights

[@yourhonorr5439]

this is too much, I can’t finish watching this. I am literally crying for this child. I really hope lucas is doing better now and found better people to care for him.

[@spadesin3d173]

Lucas is the freak here

[@debstrix]

@@spadesin3d173 No, he is not

[@EELClove98]

Parents do NOT know their child’s behavior better than anyone else!! Ask any child who has ever needed psychological help and never got it because they were told they were dramatic or overreacting. I hate these people

[@jodymarie9757]

I worked with foster children for years, specifically young children who came from abusive homes. Extremely abusive homes. Lucas sounds like most of the young boys I worked with and its just heart breaking how just ignorat this man is. It sounds like he's purposefully ignoring all of these signs because he wants Lucas to be a physcopath.

[@lyvsix]

Exactly. I have bpd and my mom was very ignorant and prejudiced towards mental health issues in general. She used to say that depression was just sadness and meds were for weak ppl who wanted to "cheat" normal sadness.. I stated going to therapy and taking antidepressants in secret bc of that. However when she saw my suffering and how these docyors and therapists basically saved my life she decided to read all she could read about my issues, she would participate in therapy to help me as much as she could.. She challenged all her previous beliefs and did a 180 to be everything she could be for me and more. Now she's an advocate for ppl like me... IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO WRITE A BLOG ABOUT HOW WEAK AND PROBLEMATIC I WAS but she decided to be a proper parent instead...unlile this guy. I wonder how the kid is doing and will be in the future.... having parents like that has to push you to the brink of suicide at some point....

[@dazeslays]

I'm wondering how much of the time Lucas spends in isolation is him in some sort of dissociative state? He seems to have some concept of the future, or at least cause and effect (knowing his friend would get punished later), but him allegedly standing around for hours waiting for things seems like he could actually be dissociating. Seeing as he was allegedly neglected as a young child, it's possible he spent time during important developmental periods just... waiting for someone to pay attention to him and started dissociating as a coping mechanism. I'm not a psychologist nor do I have a dissociative disorder (though I am very neurodivergent lmfao) so this is just my two cents.

[@SpecialBlanket]

I have a dissociative disorder and spaced out for five hours hiding under a bed once.

[@kevinortiz2597]

"My wife and I knew full-well that medication would have no positive effect. We feared that giving him something that would 'help him think better' would only make him a better criminal." The real psychopaths are the parents. Denying your kid medication treatment because you have already written off your child as unsalvageable is gross, you dont do that with your own kids, you work to help them until you no longer can do so, that kid was 11/12 at the time and they already gave up...

[@theincfiles]

"Many Short Term Marital Relationships" - He's never been in one, but his Mom doesn't think he'll be in one? How is that even a valid reasoning for this man?

[@geeker6350]

It sounds like these parents were indulging their savior complex by adopting a child. But they greatly underestimated the severity of their child's psychological issues and were unable or unwilling to accommodate. If they had treated him with kindness and understanding, he would probably have grown up into a happy, productive member of society. Sad.

[@lyvsix]

This is 100% it. And it is disgustingly common....

[@akaczism]

I don't doubt Lucas had some problems of his own, but I think whatever they were Harry and his wife were *not* the people to be helping him through them. Honestly my first red flag was when they wanted a child who had problems that were 'fixable' when vetting potential adoption candidates, despite being told that most of the kids would have some trouble due to the situations they were removed from. I could go on about things that upset me about Harry's attitudes towards kids and parentings in general, and to Lucas specifically, but mostly I just pity Lucas that he got stuck with these people after getting to briefly experience happiness at the foster home he was placed in. I'd probably be kinda fucked up too.

[@caliwagg1898]

When Harry said they wanted an older child and without physical disabilities because him and his wife work, that was when I knew Harry would be a piece of shit. As if you could adopt an older child with no issues and just plop them into your life. I hope this story is fake, the parents should never have been allowed to adopt.

[@acidberry3630]

From the first paragraph I got the feeling Harry wanted a kid to ‘rescue’ without having to do much work to actually help them. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe adoption is expensive, so at the very least they could’ve afforded to take Lucas to a psychologist/therapist.

[@vaszgul736]

This whole story is more disturbing because of how the parents almost fantasize about their kid becoming a psychopath one day than the kids actual issues they sound like they're almost excited and ready to be famous because their kid could one day be a murderer.

[@AleTitan]

I think it's more that they want to be right and be able to say "we told you so! We were right!!"

[@breeSK33T]

so true that any kind of behavior a child does can be spinned into them being problematic! the way my cousin and his wife treat their children you’d think they were troubled children. always getting after/grounding them for the dumbest things like “laughing too loud” and walking a certain way (typically when excited). it’s so frustrating because one has extreme ADHD and the other one is autistic and is pretty delayed. not to mention they’re elementary aged. i used to babysit them weekly. they loved it and would literally beg their parents to go out so i can babysit them. it’s sad bc all i would do is let them be kids and do whatever within reason. but that to them seemed revolutionary. i hope they’re well now. unfortunately we had a falling out with their dad so i haven’t seen them since 2019. :/

[@anacrea3931]

My cousins were raised similarly, always losing devices and toys for so much as getting upset about bed time when they were 4/5/6/7. It's frustrating as hell seeing good kids treated like that. I don't know how people can't see how it can make a kid feel helpless and feel like they need to lie. Absurd and unfair punishment for expressing that you're upset just teaches kids that they can't trust their parent with their negative feelings and that they need to internalize them. That fucks kids up long term.

[@breeSK33T]

@@anacrea3931 yes the lying! the oldest would often lie and unfortunately would get caught so it made it worse. i mean he’s a child so of course he would get caught. my partner and i used to talk about how we wouldn’t be surprised if he nopes out of there once he grows up. it’s unfortunate because obviously my cousin and his wife do love them but it’s such a toxic dynamic. it’s like they flip flop multiple times during the day. like getting in trouble for whatever but then are given gifts, toys, or treats not even 10 mins later. i dunno if it’s considered abuse but it’s reminiscent of stories i hear of dv survivors with the whole love bombing thing.

[@megmorningstar4250]

punishing kid for being a kid. A+ parenting 🤦‍♂️

[@YusukeYuichie]

Honestly a lot of these symptoms can be chalked up to trauma, his RAD, and being an 11 year old kid. This guy shouldn't have accepted a child he knew had behavioral issues if he was just gonna treat the kid like a criminal.

[@hannahb2306]

Oh cool 2 minutes in and I’m already tearing up over the way he talks about this child

[@squashedshibber2684]

"Ah yes, is my child charming and a good conversationalist? Haha no. You get a 1. Gee I wonder why my kid is so messed up in the head." if this happened 10 years later, 100% would be a family vlogger on youtube.

[@fields_of_regret]

man the parents conducting a psycopathy test unprofessionally on their own kid who they clearly think is barely human is the definition of bias.

[@loveprogram99]

What bothers me most is that this kid would be my own age now. Growing up neurodivergent, i see a lot of similarities in my upbringing and actions with him and it's surreal to hear about. A father isn't supposed to be using their child as a science project, this is disgusting, he worsened a lot of the kids symptoms without a doubt by "othering" him.

[@mmps18]

I taught high school special education and this whole blog hurts my heart. Lukas was a traumatized little boy that had his mental illness stigmatized and treated like he's a criminal before he even did anything bad. Harry is clearly an unreliable narrator here and though I'm trying to empathize, it's hard to give him the benefit of the doubt with his writing about his SON like a test subject and with so little compassion.

[@aarishowton8037]

“He can’t easily tell the difference between a minute, an hour, a day, or a year. He knows to put the popcorn in for two minutes because that’s what the package says, but if it said to put it in for two hours, he would happily do so and stand there waiting for the microwave to beep. Lucas has almost no concept of past and future. For him there is only right now. He doesn’t know how long he’s been waiting or how much longer he will have to wait.” Sounds like ADHD to me.

[@pennyforyourthots]

That's a pretty common trait with autism too, but I'd like to point out, that he at least has some semblance of a concept of time. He knows that if he waits, he can avoid the consequences of certain behaviors, and the fact that he knows the popcorn will be completed eventually shows he has at least some general concept of the future.

[@mack.attack]

also, I feel like a ton of "normal" (as Harry would say) 11 year olds would do that. like wtf they are a child, no they aren't as good with time management because they have less experience and maturity, Jesus Christ, Harry, seems like you have no concept of how long 11 years is

[@chocomelo454]

That time thing is stupid. Lucas is 11, hes not einstein. I have ADHD and am a bit older than Lucas and I barely can tell time or how much time had passed without looking at a clock. Harry is putting expectations on his son to be a genius when he's in 4th-5th grade.

[@no_peace]

@@pennyforyourthots Harry is making up a premise and hoping we won't think about how outlandish it is (because of our ableism)

[@reaperassasin11]

Who adopts just because they "Maybe" wanted to have a kid..... Why not wait for a genuine "Yes"??

[@lyvsix]

Firt question of the neverending list... It was a no that turned into maybe with time....they should not even be allowed to have pets wtf

[@sourgreendolly7685]

There is so much wrong in Harry’s assumptions about Lucas’ behavior. I have to wonder how much is projection given Harry’s clearly overblown opinion of his own intelligence. For example, Lucas not reacting to punishment could just be dissociation which is not uncommon in traumatized individuals. And the mother deciding their 11 year old could never be married?? My brother was a mean kid at 11 but he grew up, now he’s married and has a very happy baby. I can only hope this blog was fake because the way this father describes his child just screams emotionally abusive parent.

[@amazingdollart4676]

How should he be even reacting, he's used to it and it's gonna happen anyway, I have a feeling lucas is on raised by narcissists forum now

[@darkunykorn404]

Forreals. Dissociation was my first thought. He's not unemotional he's dissociating!

[@sourgreendolly7685]

@@amazingdollart4676 If he is we may have spoken.. I really hope it was all fiction.

[@lyvsix]

Unfortunately this sounds very credible in a sad way...i dont think it is fake at all.

[@ZdotsZuzy]

while this is in no way meant to Defend Lucas, He seems like an extremely Traumatised, Neurodivergent child which had been given up on. the things he did are not good, and He needs to get professional help, But his parents, especially Harry seemed to just pin Down any and all issues they can think of onto him being a psychopath or something, when the anwser could be a multitude of issues. They clearly werent ready for Mentally ill child, im not even sure if they were ready for a child in general. If Some other family Got Lucas instead, Or If lucas Got professional help sooner things might have been different. Harry seems at point delusional in his conviction that hes right too.

[@thatradfailure5197]

Right, Lucas didn't turn out to be a good person, but saying that he has undiagnosed traumas and illnesses doesn't excuse that. I see a few of my own struggles with what Harry describes, such as the issue with time (even to this day, I have literally no sense of time. A literal second will pass and I'll think it half an hour). Lucas needed help that Harry and his wife refused to give, and it's so sad. If Lucas had gone to a proper family instead of this, I wholly believe he would've have turned out to be a sexual harasser. I just can't feel anything but bad for the poor boy

[@admiralofcuteness]

@@thatradfailure5197 Feel you there- I also have no time sense. Hopefully, your family was better equipped to help you deal with that than Lucas'.

[@thatradfailure5197]

@@admiralofcuteness Uhh... Yeah, not really, lol, we never really... Dealt with it. Still a thing to this day, but ain't like I've got much going on, so it's not too big a deal, luckily

[@insanecurity]

I went into this totally ready to be disturbed by the child, however I'm halfway through the video and I'm starting to be more concerned about the parents at this point...

[@wolfie1234100]

Yes same.

[@Skeksistential-crisis]

Feels like it’s very much a ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ kind of thing, the dad is predicting how this (clearly traumatised and mentally unwell) child’s future will go and have already decided that there’s nothing they can do to help him, so it’s gonna go that way

[@bronzergoth7598]

The whole saga about punishment makes me sad because it's been suggested that ASPD cluster personality types respond better to positive reinforcement. Rewards can work where punishment doesn't. I wish they had the help they needed to find new strategies edit: welp just got to the timeline part. fuck this dad for literally scripting Lucas a hopeless future instead of reframing how to approach his child's issues

[@lyvsix]

I have bpd and for me punishment makes me hate myself and do npthing bc I feel useless. Positive reinforcement brings the best in me, it is amazing.

[@srahhh]

He talks about the "blind child" technique in such a shitty way. Teaching a kid like Lucas to identify & name emotions, like off a flashcard, is basically the best thing you CAN do for a child with these issues. Why is it completely pointless just because you can't teach Lucas to feel sadness himself? If you can teach him to recognize sadness in another person, that's a huge first step. Next would be to teach him the transactional value of not making people sad. E.g.: "If you hurt someone, you'll make them sad. If you make people sad, things will be more difficult for you. If you don't make them sad, people will treat you better and give you what you want more often." It sounds bad, but it WORKS to create people that, while still psychopaths, are fully functional members of society because they understand the social contract in terms that make sense to them. Harry's attitude is like a parent of an autistic child saying "what's the point in a therapist training them how to make and maintain eye contact, or to recognize a joke? He doesn't REALLY get it, so it's just fake anyway."

[@Bianca_Toeps]

Let’s not bring an autistic kid to a therapist to make them learn how to maintain eye contact and respond in a fake way, please. Eye contact is very stressful and teaching a kid to ignore their own feelings and ideas of what is funny or nice is just setting them up for depression because they have no idea who THEY are anymore. Kind regards, an autistic person.

[@srahhh]

@@Bianca_Toeps Thank you for sharing your perspective, and apologies if I spoke out of turn.

[@SpecialBlanket]

yikes, don't train someone to maintain eye contact. however i WISH someone would do the flashcard thing with me. i'm an adult and i can't find any therapist who will even try to teach me to recognize emotions in other people.

[@srahhh]

@@SpecialBlanket Thank you all for letting me know that I was wrong; definitely won't say that again & you've all reminded me to think a bit more before I decide I should comment abt something like I'm an expert, lol. I appreciate your help.

[@tinycatfriend]

@@SpecialBlanket hey, just popping in bc i've done dialectical behavioural therapy and it taught how to define my own emotions which can be applied to others! i'm ND too and some of dbt is hard to grasp but with an open mind and willingness to decide what does and doesn't work for me, i've found it really helpful

[@ryoki_PH]

Thank you for the video. its genuinely refreshing to have a youtube channel that seems to actually empathise and care about the child discussed rather than fixate on the idea of “creepy ps*cho child”. My personal opinion is that Lucas might be autistic, have ADHD, or both. the observations Harry talks about can be how autism/ADHD looks to the outside - “brain dead”, “completely unaware of other people”, etc. but instead of that being the actual truth, theres a lot more actually going on in his head (I have ADHD and am also autistic, so I would know lol). especially with autism, a lot of the behaviours treated as granted or standard in society and culture just arent internalised the same way, and when you mix that with a childhood of abuse, neglect, and possible neurological disabilities caused from alcohol, youre left with a child that is bewildering to the outside, and confused about who they are and what is needed from them on the inside. and, if anything, Harry’s approach to Lucas in his blog feels nothing short of mentally and emotionally cannibalistic, especially earlier on, so caught up in the idea of being the woed parent who has to “deal with” a strange and hurt child that he becomes horrifically blinded to the child itself. its disgusting honestly, and while i understand that it would be hard for Harry and his wife, they both know they shouldntve adopted a child so I have very little sympathy in the end. even if Lucas did have AsPD, the way they treat him is so unwilling to understand him that I wished he went to better adoptive parents in the first place instead of being placed in a household that I dont think has progressed him positively and has probably hurt his future a lot. Also, from what I know, terms like “psychopathy” have been renamed to anti-social personality disorder (AsPD), and that sociopathy and psychopathy are functionally the same. Not completely sure though, so if anyone has evidence otherwise Im fine to edit my comment. Thank you for the video again! :)

[@praski149]

It's amazing how close psychopathy is to ADHD and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. The same catatonic responses to being upset, the same inability to learn based on positive or negative reinforcement.

[@cinnastag]

I think he has ADHD, he has the executive dysfunction that psychopaths lack. I have these exact symptoms and only have ADHD. This "dad" saw Dexter and thought "I am the father, I will create Dexter and reject psychologists"

[@bigasspockets]

That’s exactly what I was thinking, same with impulsivity, boredom, acting the way you think people want you to behave (masking), etc

[@cathuria5818]

@@cinnastag as a diagnosed sociopath. I disagree. Alot of what he has can be chalked up to other mental illnesses but there is for SURE some amount of anti social personality disorder. He mimics me to a very high degree. From the grandiose self worth. To the lying to the porn. All of it is too familiar

[@annajapiassu306]

right?? im sitting here with adhd, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and the 'oh so loved and accepted' bpd looking like: 👁️👄👁️

[@goodgrief9174]

@@cathuria5818 Honestly, I think he's too young of a child making it impossible to extremely difficult to assign the psychopath/sociopath diagnosis. A lot of neurotypical kids are grandiose and very self-important because they still need to learn and internalise that they're not the center of the universe. A lot of kids also lie, because again, they don't know why not telling the truth is harmful. Not only that, but it's not surprising that "Lucas" would lie to people who keep hurting him and mistreating him after he's been traumatised from the day he was born. Anyone in that situation would figure out that not doing what "Harry" and his wife want from them only results in more pain and would probably do anything, including lying, to get out of it. Also, take into consideration that people who experienced SA, especially those who don't have a support system to help them recover, will seek out more extreme p*rn or sexual experiences in order to cope or because degradation and pain is the only thing they're familiar with. According to all the information we have, it's just far more likely that "Lucas" was a severely traumatised kid struggling with a mental illness and/or being neurodivergent, and instead of arriving in a home where parents would know how to take care of him properly, he got adopted by two horrible, ignorant, and arrogant people who were obsessed with him being a psychopath and who traumatised him further and worsened his situation. I 100% doubt that he ever was a psychopath.

[@LibbyChorney]

excited for this video!! love your content. I'm only ten minutes in and so far, as a mentally ill person myself, I'm not really liking the dad. him and the mother are patting themselves on the back for keeping their child "normal" without medications, but this blog of his is going into the child getting worse and worse. I can't help but think these parents weren't as equipped as they thought they were to handle a child with mental and psychological issues. there are plenty of adults and children with psychopathy who live normal and fulfilling lives with proper treatment... like I said, I'm only ten minutes in-- if my opinion changes I'll edit this comment after I finish the video.

[@TheInternetInvestigator]

Totally agree, Lucas already had an awful start in life, and he needed quite a specific environment to be able to move on from that. I don't necessarily think Harry had bad intentions going into this, but it doesn't sound like he and his wife could provide that environment for him :(

[@lyvsix]

The question is what or who made them think they were equipped at all to deal with a traumatized kid????

[@lyvsix]

@@TheInternetInvestigator hi is just ignorant, purposefully ignorant. That is not ok.

[@sideshowratt]

There's a lot of inconsistency in Harry's "diagnosis". Lucas cares so little about consequences and about things that happen in the future that he won't take out the garbage for $20, but he knows how to give therapists the correct answers in order to make his future sessions easier?

[@NamiNuitsuki]

He said he gives them the right answers because it'll make the therapist happy, not to make sessions easier.

[@ezra2701]

Part of me really distrusts Harry. My mother was known for cherry picking my extreme behaviour. I have little concept of time and can relate to a few extreme behaviours like not getting out or being bothered with grounding but that's just me as a person (along with trauma responses and ADHD) so part of me genuinely has a hard time believing they did their best considering in the beginning Harry is proud he never used medication too

[@screaminmeani]

I seriously am developing a hatred for Harry talking this way about a child in elementary school!!!! That he is supposed to love and cherish. Harry obviously hates his kid.

[@lyvsix]

He thinks he is below him, like an untamed beast that should be put to sleep before it kills someone. Wtffff

[@leilanivaughan-williams3038]

"We don't have time for a baby" "let's adopt a kid with severe trauma"

[@Buddhistsocialist]

With a kid like this I would have probably released him from my custody shortly after. If you aren’t equipped to deal with the situation you should let people who are take over.

[@lyvsix]

Exactly, you will be heavily critiziced if you do it but ultimately it is the best choice for the kid if you are this dumb, unwilling or unable to take proper care of him.

[@Fightingforthelost]

The reason you don't grade a child on a psychopath scale is ALL KIDS ARE PSYCHOPATHS. Like, the send that grading metrics to more than the parents (i.e. his teachers) to get a more objective picture of the child. I've had to do this several times for my autistic son. The child isn't showing signs of psychopathy, just a misunderstanding of socially acceptable behavior.

[@punkopossums]

As an autistic person, growing up i would get told that something i was doing was "mean" or id get in trouble for something with out really being told what or why something was wrong, and because of that punishment didnt always work. When i got older i would just get confused or mad, like i would ask my bother a question about like dinner or something and get yelled at by my mom and I would have no idea why and if I asked she wouldn't tell me :/My mom would also punish me for the dumbest reasons as well. I guess what Im getting at is that if you tell a child to go sit in a corner with out saying why/how/what it might not always work.

[@punkopossums]

My situation was obviously very different but I sympathize with this kid. Kids tend to just do shit for no reason eps autistic kids, people like me tend to process emotions and empathy differently and neurotypical people misinterpreting that is really damaging. I was screamed and yelled at so much growing up that I stopped being an excited energetic kid, I became a nervous person afraid that everything I did would get me in trouble :/. The kid not responding to being locked in his room for so long even, though being bored could be a result of depression or just not really knowing how to respond or react to that situation. When I get stuck in overwhelming situations I tend to just shut down and go quiet. The way his parents treated him has very much resulted in him being more fucked up :/

[@shadow_shine3578]

Exactly! I would stop doing it. But only if my parents explained Why it was bad. Just saying it was bad just isn't enough to stick.

[@cinnastag]

Oh my god, this kid was abused because he has executive dysfunction symptoms. The things they're whinging about are mostly just things you can commonly see in ADHD. I experienced all these symptoms, bed wetting, time blindness, everything, RED...everything except the sexual stuff (Mostly because acephobic society). He's not careless, he's forgetful. I've placed my phone on the floor and stepped on it, cracking it by accident. They conveniently never tried to teach him to not grope people, to not hurt people. They are creating a self-fulfilled prophecy and have already done so. He treated his son like a psychopath and now he's acting like a psychopath...

[@Exsugarbabe1]

I get the feeling no one has shown this kid any love or empathy so he can't show anyone else these things.

[@femhera]

god, it was so hard to get through this video, it just makes me so sad and sick. as someone who was VERY like lucas when i was a child (i also wet the bed, just "took" punishments, had inappropriate sexual knowledge and didnt understand that it was not normal for an adult and child to be sexually involved), i did all of these things because i was sexually abused, and i think its so likely lucas was also sexually abused. i just feel so sad for him and personally i think for this man to claim his son is a psychopath, when he is just likely a victim of horrific abuse, is so disgusting and wrong. i dont want to be rude but i honestly think this man and his wife are horrible parents, and they shouldve never adopted lucas in the first place. ugh, i dont want to get emotional but i just wish i could help this poor boy, i know exactly what hes (probably) going through and went through and it just shatters my heart. i dont think this kid had a chance to heal. lucas is obviously very very troubled, but it is just cruel for this man to call him a psychopath. tysm for making this video and in this video, also addressing the fact that, frankly, these people are just not good parents.

[@Logangibbens21]

It’s easier to look out a window then look in the mirror. Parenting isnt a teacher student relationship. No parent has all the answers throughout a child’s life. Speaking for myself in the past I would get frustrated thinking I was a sub par parent at times and excepted that as a fact. I realized that I needed to grow as a parent as my son grew as a child. The lessons I learned about life and how best navigate thru it was at times me and my son learning together.

[@sebastiansandoval4861]

I mean, same goes for teachers and students, teachers that fail to accept their own mistakes can be bad.

[@lunareclipse2401]

harry mapping out what lucas will do as he's older is just. disturbing so many red flags here oh my god

[@SasoAkasuna]

Im really having a hard time finishing watching this, because Harry talks about those things like if it's the kids fault? He talks about basically verbally and mentally abusing the kid and the "parenting" methods he used sounds like something you will do to train a dog. Pushments and rewards don't really work to learn whats good and whats bad, it just teaches you to do things in secret and to never tell your parents anything, he can't just treat a person like a dog and wonder why nothing is working. Everyone in that family needs therapy

[@felixq723]

The way Lucas was being written off reminds me a *lot* of how I saw a bunch of my peers getting written off when I was his age. When the white kids severely acted out, adults knew there was a reason and that the child needed help; when the non-white kids acted out, the adults treated them like it was some intrinsic problem with that child, that they were simply destined to be like that and weren't worth helping. I can't help but wonder if Lucas was a child of color adopted by a white couple, and if that had something to do with why his parents were so weirdly obsessed with the inevitability of Lucas becoming a violent criminal. There are *so* many other explanations for his behavior and *so* many possible interventions for all of those possible explanations (even back in the 2000s), that it's hard to understand why this guy was so bent on seeing his pre-teen, whose most formative years were *incredibly traumatic*, as destined to be a sexually violent criminal who would eventually murder them.

[@kitandrews8638]

I have R.A.D. and was a horrible teenager until my mom just started to accept what I did and didn't punish me. If I was able to tell her about something knowing I wouldn't face horrid punishment, I would just tell her I stole something. And then we would both fix it together. I learned how to be human, I learned the rules. I could be beat for days and not feel anything, I honestly don't care, but I can walk the line if I benefit from good behavior