Ralphie May explains how to get (And KEEP!) a quality woman

[@tuckemon]

Rest in peace you funny bastard, Ralphie. Truly one of a kind comedian.

[@TacitZero]

He died??

[@tuckemon]

@@TacitZero ya back in 2017

[@TacitZero]

@@tuckemon damn, and I just started getting him recommended to me, thats sucks

[@BrookeAndSutton]

@@TacitZero I didn't know either

[@squadcast7456]

How did he die??

[@MitchellFace]

This is what someone with maxed out charisma truly looks like.

[@thedarksideoftheforce6658]

Plus maxed out body type.

[@dylankeim6039]

100%

[@tamalexpert9212]

And calories

[@swolf4741]

Charismatic? Umm no. Thanks for the laugh though.

[@jackarmistead5353]

One of the many things I have learned while being married, is that women don’t dress up for men, they dress up to impress other women.

[@jayramsey690]

“let the market set the price “…. Pure gold!

[@americasariesson1862]

Dude was intelligent...that’s why he’s able to capture so many with his stories. The humor was the extra

[@papashamrock6566]

Facts👌💯

[@aydinsha]

Wasnt intelligent enough to work on his obesity so he didn't die at 45 sadly.

[@robertcarpenter1615]

He ate himself to death? That’s intelligent?

[@millasboo]

@@robertcarpenter1615 Not exactly it was because he got pneumonia

[@Benderofdemise]

​@@robertcarpenter1615 That says nothing.

[@velvetteribbons]

I have ovarian cancer and any chic with ovarian cancer will tell you shit is just never the same. All the pain drugs in the world do not make up for this shit, but dude, you kept me and my sister laughing our asses off even when we were puking and shitting like we had the black plague--which incidentally is way better because they cured that! Man, my sister is still laughing wherever she's at and has kick ass seats! Nothing but love, man! Thank you!

[@shaboingboing1]

hope y’all are doing okay!

[@mikey92362]

@@shaboingboing1 tell me you don't read carefully without telling me you don't read carefully. Yikes!

[@shaboingboing1]

@@mikey92362 oh wow my mistake, rest easy sis

[@JustinBarrett-ht2vr]

❤jus liv ur lyfe sweetie theirs good men & ppl out ther

[@Ashley-jr7gs]

❤😢 hope you get better. Prayers

[@Born2b4everMe]

When he was talking about freckles and the audience was so silent you could hear the echo of his voice like it was a fucking TedTalk, that was my favorite part

[@Stakker]

TED TALK!! My man!! Hahaha

[@tonitoni9059]

This guy sold golden information for the price of a stand-up comedy show!

[@marvinhagler7233]

I'm saying!

[@galadballcrusher8182]

Many GOAT's did, take George Carlin for example...or Patrice O'Neal...

[@theboss5751]

​@@galadballcrusher8182why do the best comedians die early man

[@Lokick17]

Always come back to Ralphie may when I need a laugh in my life.

[@vernamorales2064]

Preach !!!!

[@user-ws8uw2jy2w]

He's got such a stage presence. Never watched his stand up but I'm pleasantly suprised that he was a through and through natural. RIP big man

[@locosiete6839]

I had the privilege to see him when he came to my city. I got to sit front row and watch a master work! I can honestly say i have never laughed so hard before at any show in my life. I was instantly a fan if his for life within 3 minutes of hearing him for the first time. He will always be one of the greatest comedians of all times! Still have the shirt he signed for me. He wrote "we went cuba diving"

[@charlesquintana8540]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TerrieHair]

😂

[@michaelredmond4390]

My boy was smooth as silk

[@damo8956]

Nah my man silk wishes it was half as smooth as ralphie 👌

[@blaineedwards8078]

The part about how guys need to just shut up and let her talk is spot on. Nothing is a quicker turnoff to women than a guy who talks too much or one who just talks about himself.

[@thisguyy]

Smooth as silk. I like that.

[@callanc3925]

@@blaineedwards8078 every 2 minutes a girl talks about herself you should talk about yourself for 15 seconds or less and only as a way to ask them another question about themselves

[@johndickerson2126]

Hell yeah !!!! No cap this boy be killin. So true . Fearless. 313

[@xYounGxSaVaGe]

Rest in paradise King we miss you

[@graceb7284]

He was such an amazing comedian, Absolutely hilarious 🙌♥️👏🙏😇🎤

[@devynguitnwr1766]

Amazing comedian and very kind soul.

[@B-max.]

He passed away?

[@scottn5155]

Rip to him but his stand up sucks

[@ricrothwell7677]

@@B-max. yeah he died

[@johngamer593]

Barely knew him for twelve minutes but he's been gone for four years? Wtf KZbin, what took you so long? Rest in peace...

[@christiantacosstewart6532]

Watch everything ralphie may you can absolute legend and great guy

[@MitchellFace]

“Like a night without stars.” The whole audience felt that one hahaha

[@thepassenger6499]

"A women without freckles is like a night without stars!" That one made even my knees weak, holy shit! :D

[@cageshepard9313]

This dude is smooth as butter ant witty as a fox

[@DonBienveRosario15]

And big as a truck 😂😂😂😂 RIP the great Ralphie May

[@mohammedzarka5373]

For a fat guy I should be in the hall of fame

[@big.gib.4L]

Yes he should

[@edenneilson3046]

I’m org pop up forpp pop g orgopg o otf out o the F

[@edenneilson3046]

@Angus Malroy oo

[@edenneilson3046]

Pop oi pop pop oesophageal o pll pop

[@edenneilson3046]

@@big.gib.4L ly lolp op o op op l ok lm

[@pete2076]

"is that last years eye shadow" omfg i just spit my turcky pot pie out lol

[@davedecker1725]

NIIICE 😆

[@angelalehmann6006]

My heart is STILL broken over Ralphie! Incredible comedian...

[@susaneva520eva9]

I saw him live and laughed so hard. Then afterward he came out and took pictures and signed autographs. He was such a sweetheart

[@oa2621]

This dude NEVER fails to make me laugh.

[@carlz28]

Simple minds are easily amused. He wasn’t funny beyond a 3rd grade education. Incoherent babble.

[@heroicsquirrel3195]

@@carlz28 “incoherent babble” youre just wrong there, do you know what those words mean?

[@carlz28]

@@heroicsquirrel3195 no. Teach me O’great one!

[@zacharylacore2905]

@@carlz28 okay Mr. intellectual, even simpler minds go to comedy videos just to insult people who like the comedy

[@carlz28]

@@zacharylacore2905 that’s cute. I remember when I had my first beer.

[@muhuradedan]

Ralphie knew more about chics than all of us combined 😂

[@josephbennett6113]

He never explained how we are suppose to last 20 minutes though. 😂

[@158-i6z]

@@josephbennett6113 It might sound weird but the best thing you could do is imagine she's ugly. The last resort is using porn to desensitize yourself to a certain point that you're still aroused in reality but less-so, then use imagination to push yourself over the edge.

[@josephbennett6113]

@@158-i6z so I should picture her as Ralphie

[@anangrycustomer2913]

He ain't lying though... Hilarious yes, but his method actually does work

[@kafkollectif525]

Just taking a few notes from this video and you’ll be ahead of the rest by far💕

[@ryanhickey6812]

The thing that gets me about this man, is how much the comedy world loved him! SO many Comedians speak on how genuine and great this man was to others. His comedy is top notch, he was an upcoming absolute LEGEND! RIP Ralphie the comedy world sure could use you during this tme.

[@xxstrider3188]

8:47 possibly the smoothest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[@DalonCole]

“You have taken the stone from my hand Grasshopper”. It was lines like this that made RM great.

[@baloopatel8944]

That was the smoothest pick up line in history!!!

[@Miss_Annlaug]

I love being a woman who doesn't argue with compliments. I take them to heart and I'm grateful for them and I keep them in my mind for a rainy day❤️🔥listen and learn girls!

[@levidunton483]

We miss you Ralphie. Definitely a favorite. Great human in general

[@Mimzie-Arizona]

I just found him and had no idea he had passed. He was a great comedian! So happy to be able to see these videos

[@mattgillespie4129]

RIP. Someone I would have loved to see live and smoke with.

[@coryharlow995]

Saw him live in Laughlin in 2013. Got pics with him backstage. Nice guy. Funny as hell!

[@HuhYesHuh]

When he said that shit about freckles and the sky I was like damn he smooth LOL

[@artstudio9673]

We lost him too soon , this man was a genius Nothing Gay but I love this guy!!!!!

[@justinnihiser8680]

I think a woman without freckles is like a night without stars.

[@jenniferschmitzer299]

i hate summer when they turn up. there is no light smattering its like splotch. nice this fellow likes a light sprinkling cos thats not how melanin works lol

[@iceman7157]

I genuinely might use this one day.

[@boxwoodramble5299]

😑😑

[@saraspivey1129]

Word.

[@stardancer4077]

👍

[@darrenavila8196]

Ralphie May was one of the best. Miss him.

[@MapleNewf]

"Let it marinate in that bullshit" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelrey2159]

Absolute gold lmao

[@g.o.a.ttherapper4040]

Damn that shit was smooth

[@garylyonsiii3529]

Rest in peace ralphie, we miss ya man. I hope you're keeping all those angels laughing up there bro!

[@callum98]

That shit would've got me in bed 😂 ralphie was smooth af, R.I.P man, he in heaven smooth talking Angels now 😪

[@sleepinghermit7778]

Shit that might have even got me into bed if he tried it.

[@jazlynnsanchez5625]

omg saaaameeee

[@jacksonguillory8114]

​@sleepinghermit7778 he was the rizzler before the term rizzler was invented.

[@SnagTheRabbit]

"I think a woman without freckles is like a night without stars." Damn, I don't even have freckles and this shit got me blushin'

[@scottmiller8396]

I love how he could make fun of everyone and people just laughed

[@kimberlypoole5325]

I still miss my man Ralphie May. He was a genius comic. I watch all his specials over & over again, & laugh just as hard, if not harder than when I first heard them. Ralphie May, you were a diamond, love you man, RIP

[@franklinmark3864]

Hi Kimberly! How’re you doing?

[@BuzzinVideography]

Who the hell is managing this channel? You’re a real MVP

[@barteatmyshorts8252]

JEWS🤣

[@TheRealRalphieMay]

And to think my mom told me I'd amount to nothing.

[@claystrickland6266]

Bartoszek90 I wish you were wrong😢

[@carlz28]

@@TheRealRalphieMay you amounted to nothing. Except a huge bill at the funeral parlor. Jokes on you! Ahhhhhhhhahahahaaa!

[@Firecrackercam]

@@carlz28 do you just comment on here for attention?

[@mrxec2056]

Ma favourite comedian, no matter how many times I watch him, still makes me laugh everytime..wish could have met the legend. R.I.P .. I love cats too 😹

[@deborahbranson6053]

He was one of the best comedians I have ever listened to loved his act my sympathy to his family he will be missed

[@wayneged]

Miss Ralphy so much there's not another comedian that comes close these days RIP brother 💔

[@tylerbowers5812]

Thanks for posting all these videos!! Ralphie makes my days better! 💯

[@brandondowdy4220]

Died young

[@TheRealRalphieMay]

Our pleasure!

[@tylerbowers5812]

Ralphie May can you still buy his fat baby barbecue sauce?

[@TheRealRalphieMay]

We’re working on bringing it back because people regularly ask for it.

[@tylerbowers5812]

@@TheRealRalphieMay Hell yeah please let me know I'd love to buy some!

[@Mjones8383]

This was the funniest man of that generation

[@binko969]

A comedic genius. Sucks so Fkn hard that Ralphie’s gone. The greats always go too young. Dude should’ve been a billionaire

[@Dangzag]

He was overlooked for sure, hard working comic with a solid career, just never really managed to get over like he should have.

[@carlz28]

Never made it because he wasn’t funny. Making dumb people laugh is hardly a “gift”.

[@2012Z28Camaro]

@@carlz28 idk if Ralphie shit on you at a show or what, but you commenting everywhere about how bad you think he was doesnt make you seem any smarter than anyone else. You probably troll Larry the cable guy fans too.

[@wadecohagan2388]

@@2012Z28Camaro he mad cuz he's still paying off his student loans for the college degree he received and is pretty much useless because only fast food places will hire him. The type of guy that thinks educated people are intelligent. I would be curious as to who he thinks is funny.

[@jayhawkku1981]

He was only a millionaire. He died rich.

[@ks1600]

I wish every person alive was allowed to donate a minute out of his or her life span towards his. We lost a gem

[@Stakker]

That was smooth, but so right. Dude. If only.

[@tylerdurden639]

Then he'd be immortal. Like the movie "In Time"

[@youdidntcatchme6943]

That equals out to be around 13,000 years or so lol.

[@grigorirasputin996]

I'd donate a whole month if there weren't enough people giving minutes.

[@hughjass2745]

If he'd taken better care of himself he'd still be here...

[@J_GoTTi]

Damn shame we lost him so early. In my opinion, he is probably one of, if not THEE BEST comedian ever. Just my opinion.

[@mattclark8535]

The make-up thing is absolutely true.. I got 3 daughters and everyone went through the heavy make-up phase

[@IH-oo3le]

I have a niece, she only just turned 8 and holy shit my sis is gonna have her hands full before long

[@carlz28]

Ugly daughters. That’s what happens.

[@callanc3925]

honestly the craziest part is make up looks good from a distance but up close it always looks worse than just natural skin

[@graysonbottoms3931]

C H you’ve been talking shit about Ralphie but you didn’t have to insult this mans kids. Grow up

[@johnhammond4735]

Why is Ralphie wearing Patrice O'Neal's coat and hat?

[@joelmangum4605]

The apparel of the great

[@carlz28]

Classless incoherent comedy. Classless wardrobe. Don’t pretend you’re surprised.

[@joelmangum4605]

@@carlz28 you may just be incompetent. His comedy is the truth of his reality, which many relate to. Being funny may be subjective but you’re definitely in the minority. No respect, no respect at all.

[@carlz28]

@@joelmangum4605 nope. You’re definitely in the minority. Trying to justify his alleged greatness doesn’t make it true. Get off your high horse.

[@carlz28]

@@aawone take your meds and everything will be okay.

[@robedmund9948]

Dude was full of golden advice!! And funny as hell, too! RIP, Big Man!!

[@timeverett7828]

Damn! That's brilliance there... Just imagine how much better he'd be if he were still around today! Gone far too soon... Great singing voice also.

[@barnabas44441]

Im definitely gonna steal that “night without stars” line😂 RIP to the legend 🔥

[@mamacas_3.075]

This man had so much natural, raw talent! 😌 Shame he left us so soon. RIP bro!

[@SeVeN-A7]

I remember watching this on CC almost a decade ago now!! We miss you Ralphie!! I think this and your gay wedding guest story is my favorite!!

[@dpatterson1489]

"Every woman wants to have a great conversation. None of them wants to hear what you've got to say."

[@FedorMachida]

Aw man, I miss Ralphie. He was such a great and lovable comedian.

[@geesboxtruckjourney4294]

Blessed to see him live before his passing fawking hilarious! 👑

[@clayhough4972]

Women wear makeup because of other women, they are competing with each other.

[@xxrazaxx]

Yeah some people know; he was just making a point

[@saraspivey1129]

Not really. We look better with makeup. It’s not that deep, bruh.

[@maddi3787]

@@saraspivey1129 Honestly, I don't even wear makeup outside my house, I just wear it for fun and occasionally social media.

[@todsimpkins8908]

@@saraspivey1129 no you don't.

[@redditman3701]

@@saraspivey1129 no you dont makeup is a joke.

[@phiillzzz807]

The janitors were mopping the shit out of that floor after this performance..

[@nerdly44]

Ralphie channeled the perfect amount of the great George Carlin in his stand up. Combine that with great delivery, and you have here one of the all time greats. Rest in Peace, big guy.

[@IAMWATER7]

With a dash of black humor

[@PhilMyCrackin-qd3lk]

George got way too political later in life.

[@bullivon]

Ralphie is way better than George

[@sarah9044]

No lie I legit got chills when he described "the pimp move", "like a night without stars" if a man said that to me it doesn't matter what he looks like, I would blush! 😊 That's so sweet! 🥰

[@andressaar4290]

I'm so with Ralphie on the freckles😍

[@Nottz4Lyf18]

No matter how many times i watch Ralphie it breaks my heart every damn time that he’s gone, such a loss

[@deltacharlieecho4732]

I always forget just how good Ralphie's impressions are. God damn.

[@johnnymorningstar2855]

I just got put on to Ralphie and I'm sad to hear he's passed away. This guy literally handed me my next line whenever I meet a girl with freckles lol RIP King, thank you for the insight and the laughter ❤️

[@eliashuapilla]

Did it work?

[@emiliagolden4441]

Omg I miss him. He still cracks me up

[@Gebraldo420]

A man who's heart was literally as big as he was.... Will be greatly missed

[@Beetrecca]

Once every now and then some one special comes around for a while lights us up and then leaves. R.I.P Ralphie 🙏

[@mikecoslada6144]

Comedy , Intelligence and feeling. I come from Germany and only improved my English because of him. He was / is one of the best Comedians worldwide.

[@seanshaw6311]

So now we have a country sounding German. You would have been in his skit lol.

[@neonnerd1364]

I miss Ralphie. Dude was one of the funniest people on the planet. Comedy will never be the same.

[@CopperEyeFilms]

Patrice looked really pale in his final year.

[@brokoleenono]

Damn bro🤣

[@rskar]

this legend literally seduced the entire room all at once

[@jamesjones6546]

Ralphie May need to be nominated for Playa of the damn year! my boy got game 😆

[@wazowski6709]

I laughed sooooop hard. Really gave off a John Candy vibe with his outfit, another legend gone too soon. Hope you're both enjoying a drink & laugh up there. RIP big fellas.

[@SongWhisperer]

That's not the worst thing that could happen, the best lookin girl in the bar could be best friends with the worst lookin girl in the bar, and then you ain't gettin nothing. Once one friend turns you down, the rest are sure to follow. RIP Ralphie, you were one of the best and we miss your wit and humor.

[@LeenaStark]

Rest in Love King Ralph 💜🙋

[@MadMack]

R.i.p the goat man what a fuckin legend I wish I could've went to a show😭

[@Bandojunkieexplore]

The 🌎 could use you right now💯💯💯RIP Legend🙏🏼🙏🏼💙

[@BrooklynDaDon1]

We miss you buddy.. R.I.P. Brother

[@Tazure209]

smooth operator from Ralphie?? wooooow fuck yeah dude! can't believe I missed this clip!

[@mattnobrega6621]

Abort the mission guys....our cover has just been blown. Thanks a lot ralphie

[@youngerrss1977]

Watch you comedy over and over again. Legend with such an amazing future gone to early!

[@krystalluvs6]

Thank you for pointing this out! We don't need makeup, we need to show our true selves :)

[@vickicollins2248]

Yes Ralphie! I'll never 4get your stand up in Toronto. You loved my freckles,made me laugh, you were awesome✊🏼✌🏼❤

[@muhuradedan]

Oooh you're the girl who made him blow up our cover 😂

[@jerperiago]

So much truth..... and hilarity, Ralphie's comedy resonates with such a vast audience. Its 2023 and I am still watching, loving his sets.

[@joaoportesantava1412]

R.I.P. Ralphie, what a talented comic! I love when he sings in shows

[@factsjusticetruth8752]

*I thought you are still alive till today RIP Ralphie*

[@ThePetspock]

I'm speechless! what a master ! I sure melted ! Funny suave and gone to soon ! May your family find comfort in your absence !!

[@samueltorres4121]

Rest in heaven big man. One of the best to this day

[@2420orion]

RIP big ralph!!!! You will always be a fucking legend in comedy and have the respect and love from all that enjoyed your presence. Till the next time.

[@gstephen8949]

Man I miss Ralphie he was so damn funny

[@dnich2834]

I just learned more about how to pick up women in this one clip than anything else in my entire life

[@throwawayaccount9515]

3:01 preach it brother, preach it

[@XtrevolutionXX]

Heaven got spoiled with this guy!

[@iamchibisango]

I don't even have freckles and this shit gave me goosebumps just wishing someone said that to me. 🤣🤣

[@monicabozzi82]

Same lolll

[@caterpillarslim1288]

Any Ralphie May clip/show/special is a guaranteed laugh for me