Ranking EVERY coaster I rode in the UK | Top 35 Roller Coasters in the UK

[@EjectorBeartime]

I still think Hyperia looks like it was built out of cigarettes…

[@hazza5999]

😂😂😂😂

[@joshl9328]

HAHA i never thought of that until now

[@tayo0404]

i can't unsee that now

[@SsufferinSsuccotash]

@@EjectorBeartime since the first drawings I’ve wondered why such a new modern looking coaster has such ugly supports, not just the ‘gold’ but the shape of the structure. It seems both over engineered and under thought, I assume having multiple track elements share structure cuts down on cost and that’s the case fair enough I guess, adding to the theming cut backs it seems the project had a very strict budget from day one. I just sometimes wish Merlin would put up that bit extra and allow a project to go a little over budget to polish things off.

[@bubbles2428]

That’s now embedded in my mind

[@lewz_r]

Putting the Smiler that low seems crazy to me😅 I rode it really recently and it was smooth until the last 2 inversions. From what I heard some trains are awful so that might be why but idk. But hey it’s your opinion so it is what it is

[@katashworth41]

I have a massive soft spot for the Blackpool coasters as it’s my home park. Blue Flyer was my first credit and The Big One won me £5 in the local horticultural show, and was my first “grown up” coaster.

[@iliketrains3546]

This guy: Saw is rough and forceful with good theming - great ride The smiler is rough and forceful with good theming - terrible ride!

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I did actually say during the Saw section that Smiler was lacking the kind of force that would make me forgive it, but thanks for your comment and engagement! Edit just so I’m clear on what I mean: Saw has ejector airtime and positive-heavy inversions. It’s rough but those moments make it worth it for me. Smiler’s force is predominantly laterals through the inversions, which actually makes the headbanging WORSE rather than being worth enduring it for. It has good moments but I found it difficult to ride and disappointing overall

[@jorgeclarkson8286]

I've always loveed Rita, have found memories of me and my Dad riding that back in the day.

[@robinbaxter3055]

Interesting ranking! I hope you can get back to the UK and get some rerides, it seems like maybe you were a bit underwhelmed with quite a few of these. As a British person who's been going on many of these for so many years, you really get to know the coaster a lot better with a few more rides.

[@MaloneysCoasters]

There are a few I was disappointed with and I’ll definitely be back. I need to revisit Alton Towers and Blackpool for sure, and there are more parks I want to visit like Oakwood and Paultons Park

[@jaxgurnz]

On your visit to Thorpe Park the Swarm was only able to run on minimal capacity - it was stated on the app and website. Usually it has quite fast operations, and would be better on your next trip.

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I must have missed that announcement, thanks for letting me know :) it definitely seemed like the operating team were doing their best, it was just running one train and taking a while. I'll definitely be back to revisit Thorpe Park at some stage so hopefully you're right and the operations are better!

[@Leftpeg8379]

Such a shame you didnt get on nemesis, its a fantastic coaster. When you come back to ride it in the future dont miss paultons, fantasy island and oakwood!

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I'll be back! There's no way I'm leaving Europe without getting a ride on Nemesis, particularly with how much I loved Inferno. If Reborn really is that much better, then I'm going to love it! Paultons and Oakwood are also in my plans, and I would love to get to Fantasy Island if I can :)

[@danielward4868]

Your ranking is very different to most. I agree with your opinions on Saw, Dragons Fury, Galactica and Nemesis Inferno for example. I prefer Nemesis over Inferno due to its pacing and layout but the forces are pretty similar. I do rank smiler lower than average but I find that only the ending is painful. I got to ride Hyperia yesterday and found more floater airtime than ejector but that might have been because I was stapled.

[@jamesreid9815]

9:18 I was sat next to you on Galactica, and if you pay attention, you can just see the back of my head in this clip 😂. Overall, I think it’s a really good and pretty accurate ranking, I’ve obviously got my own differences in my favourites, but that is how opinions work, which some people often forget 😂. Saw the channel on the back of your shirt as you were climbing the stairs after Galactica and just knew I’d have to check you out. Subscriber now!

[@leesmaling8582]

Nice work. I have to say this is one of the best round-ups of the UK coaster scene I've ever heard. I agree with most of your opinions. Especially Kumali being the smoothest SLC in the country and if you really want to ride a 10 looper? Go to Flamingo land. Colossus is like throwing rocks in a blender. I know they have re-tracked it, but it really needed new trains too.

[@willgrandex]

nemesis inferno is SO GOOD. it's always been a top tier coaster in the country and i need people to start getting behind it like you did.

[@AdamPrtn]

The fact Hero is bottom completely justifies this ranking. The Big One surprised me but I get it.

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I think maybe just how much it disappointed me made me be very harsh on it, but there wasn't anything about it I liked. It's pretty rare that I'm sitting on a coaster hoping it's over soon, but the Big One hurt and I wasn't getting any force to make it worth the pain.

[@AdamPrtn]

@@MaloneysCoasters Yeah I get that feeling from riding the Big One. I got to ride it before its reprofile in 1997 and the first drop was something else. Must admit after seeing the full list happy to see ICON near the top, and it was no doubt Hyperia would be top of the list. Was it more time constraints that didn't mean visiting Fantasy Island for their 2 Vekoma's? Still, a really good line-up of coasters.

[@ronaldhobblesteincool]

​@@MaloneysCoasters yeah for me there's only one thing that actually makes the big one good for me and that's the first drop, it's never been too rough for me but that's probably because I've always ridden near the front

[@chrisogrady28]

Grand National is still one of the best rides in the country, shame you didn't get to ride it. It's often slated for it's roughness but I think it's all part of the experience and it has relentless airtime it feels illegal

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I'll be back! Missing credits at Alton Towers and Blackpool are my biggest regrets of the trip, and I'd like more time at Thorpe Park since it was so busy as well. So next time I'll definitely revisit those three, and then probably some different parks as well :)

[@ashlinorrell3490]

Yeah you 100% need to do Grand National. Literally feel like you could be ejected from the train.

[@hazza5999]

Great countdown...looking forward to the next episode of the Odyssey. 👍

[@ThemeParkEscape_]

I knew hero would be worse than motocoaster, and Hyperia would be ur fav in the UK, but sik over stealth, i mean sik is good, but that's controversial. Very different list to anyone I've seen!

[@MaloneysCoasters]

To me, Sik has far more to it. I was quite impressed. If you're going to do a 10-inversion coaster, you've gotta make the inversions forceful and varied, and I thought Sik absolutely nailed that. Stealth was fine, its launch is great and there's solid ejector airtime, but it's ultimately a very short one-trick pony. As you can probably tell by my opinions on coasters like The Smiler, The Big One and Rita, I'm not the kind of thoosie to shy away from having a controversial opinion. I call it like I see it, and personally, I had more fun on Sik :)

[@ThemeParkEscape_]

@@MaloneysCoasters Fair enough loved the vid excited for more trips like this and one more question will there be vlogs?

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Yes, vlogs are on the way! I'm currently editing the Coaster Odyssey episode from Thorpe Park, and then there will be vlogs from the other five parks coming over the next few weeks :)

[@haydnchan7880]

Such a unique list. I can respect your opinion and i think it's much better than many mainstream thoosies' out there lol!

[@Tasouz]

Dragon fury over smiler whaaaatt

[@funfairs__uk]

Smiler Is bad

[@RomanSecundus]

2:53 you getting the ladies?

[@chrisogrady28]

Back row galactica fly to lie is a really strong element, but the rest of the ride is a family coaster. Colossus is way too high in this list imo, it was forceless and the worst restraints/seats in the country for me (v tall and quite muscular)

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I'm 6'1 and very skinny and found Colossus' restraints were not great, but not awful either. And I definitely disagree with it being forceless, I'd describe it as more hit-and-miss. Some of the inversions did nothing, but some like the corkscrews and the final barrel roll were actually really good. It's definitely inferior to Sik, but I'd describe it as mid rather than awful. Again, my expectations might play into this. I was warned it would be rough and painful, and it was not as bad as I was expecting, so I rank it as just OK.

[@chrisogrady28]

@@MaloneysCoasters I'm really reading the negative Gs as forceless I suppose, every drop and dip failed to do anything, and the underside just made me motive the restraints more. Every servings row of each car is significantly more camped for the legs too so going at the very back was a mistake for me and my partner (both 6ft3). I haven't ridden Sik yet but it looks a lot better, especially that first drop which is completely different

[@sampike5423]

Finally, someone else who ranks the Big One in its rightful place! 🤣

[@badmoonrising7795]

You have extremely odd tastes in coasters, how can you rank some generic kid coaster over things like big one? I agree big one is an odd coaster with no airtime but the views alone make it higher in my rankings. I think your disappointment in big one has made you rank it lower than other far worse coasters

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Because the generic kid coaster wasn't BAD, it was just generic. Big One was bad.

[@Little_Lime99]

I love the rankings, but Smiler at 19?!? I get it's a little rough in some places, but that's a top 3 coaster for 70% of the population. Like the rest, although maybe a little harsh on the big one

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Hey, I'll be back at Alton Towers to try to ride Nemesis at some stage, and I'll happily give it another chance. But I'm not shy to disagree with 70% of the population. To me, The Smiler is not very enjoyable. When the entire layout is just lateral twisting into inversion after inversion, headbanging and roughness is going to take a serious toll

[@Little_Lime99]

@@MaloneysCoasters yeah that's fair enough. A smooth gerstlauer could be a major rival to intamin or B&M, but at the minute, their roughness with a ge is letting them down. Great to see different opinions tho, it's easy to get tired of the millions of Smiler fankids

[@AdrenalineRush236]

You didn’t miss much with nemesis, the area and theming is incredible but imo the ride is slow and forceless

[@Laura-lc5ng]

I only been on icon big dipper nicloden streak blue fliyer or and infusion infusion is the best ithink at blackpool only b mine train and glatica at alton towers my ranking in the uk is

[@ToastGhost]

Having Wickerman that high & Big One that low was surprising to me, also did you ride the Icon spinning seat? It’s absolutely nuts and worth a try imo.

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I made the heart-breaking decision to pass on Enso because of how little time I got at Blackpool due to unforeseen circumstances. I was rushing to get on as many coasters as possible, plus Valhalla. But I've already decided I'll be back, and I'll probably do Enso first!

[@ToastGhost]

Ah unlucky, for me Enso puts Icon as the best coaster in uk behind the OG Nemesis. But I’ve not done Reborn or Hyperia yet

[@VelocicoasterFanboy]

Nice ranking

[@Sfw85]

This is a really genuine ranking. I find many in UK speak far too highly of our offering which overall is fairly poor. I agree with Big One being so low and i also agree that Rita is actually a solid ride for the UK. Id put Smiler higher but thats because ive somehow never had a rough ride

[@10_credits]

I havent ridden the big one, but I feel like your expectations were too high. Most people like to first drop and then just think the rest is boring, all though I had no idea it was rough even after all that retracking.

[@MaloneysCoasters]

I definitely think it being such a big letdown contributed to how much I disliked it, but surprisingly, I found the first drop the worst part of the ride. That twist gave me a huge slam into the side of the train, it was definitely the most painful part of the ride.

[@spetsnaz610]

Would you say Hyperia trumps DC Rivals? And if so, by how much

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Not quite. The splashdown and the short layout are big flaws for me, so I rank Hyperia a very close second behind DC Rivals. If it had Rivals' length, or maybe even if it got rid of that splashdown, it would be my number one. The sustained ejector is stronger, but it feels incomplete.

[@andrewbarrett42]

Good video,Hyperia and Nemesis are world class coasters.Also Swarm is one of the best.All coasters at Blackpool are shite.

[@maxhall622]

was thorpe your favorite park?

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Yes it was, although I feel like I just got a bit of bad luck with Alton Towers and Blackpool Pleasure Beach - Nemesis being closed and missing half the day at Blackpool. I'll definitely be revisiting both parks, because I enjoyed them, but not as much as I would have liked.

[@FixatedAlt]

Kumali over smiler. Agreed

[@James-lu1vs]

When you ride zadra you will love the coaster

[@Stampida9]

Interesting, verging on controversial opinions! I agree that the Big One is bad and Nemesis Inferno is underrated. I’d place Galactica way higher though!

[@THATSSOMID.]

#StopTheHeroHate 😭 #JusticeForHero 💙

[@THATSSOMID.]

p.s. These models are on my bucket list because I just wanna see how bad they are 🤣

[@CarsNCoasters]

​@@THATSSOMID. Same here, good old case of morbid curiosity

[@Laura-lc5ng]

Sorry my ranking in the uk is icon the forces are too strong for me nicloden streak the forces on that is too strong then blue flyer that is just right for me big dipper thats just right for me runaway mine train then glactica then infusion its not too intence for me its the best in uk for me i have medcal issues would u give me a gentle hi five if u saw me in person in the one of the parks

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Hopefully I’ll see you when I come back to the UK!

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Hopefully I’ll see you when I come back to the UK!

[@mattiefellows1458]

Omg, I so, so agree with Big One. It's absolute shite, I hope they get rid of it before it rusts into the sea forever. It's up there are one of the most painful things I've ridden and I really can't understand the love for it. Stealth though...

[@MicheleBroughPlussideLtd]

It has to be illegal butting Rita so high the smiler so low and the velocity so low I love velocity so much

[@MaloneysCoasters]

Do you enjoy pain?

[@MicheleBroughPlussideLtd]

@@MaloneysCoasters velocity is not even bad if position your self right

[@MaloneysCoasters]

@@MicheleBroughPlussideLtd It’s pretty bad for anyone with long legs like mine. Or men.

[@MicheleBroughPlussideLtd]

@@MaloneysCoasters iam a man but do have short legs it’s pretty sad because it my 3rd favourite ride at flamingo land

[@Thebusridesme]

Yes, at last a Big One brother. That sounds wrong. But I can’t stand that thing. Remove it.

[@SsufferinSsuccotash]

It’s always good to have a new perspective. With regards to The Big One, for most people the first (and kind of only) drop is its one redeeming factor. However, you MUST sit as close to the front as possible to avoid that incredibly uncomfortable clunky whip to the right, the further back you go, the more that uncomfortability turns into real pain. After that, it’s just poor in almost every respect. If you think of it as a 200ft drop tower with a sea view, followed by a nice long tour of the park, it’s OK, maybe even good. But as a coaster? No. To say this layout is from a different time is an understatement, outdated even upon opening the lack of any good profiling or forces feel like such a waste of an opportunity. Sure B&M were new and unproven at the time, but to think this technically opened after Nemesis. 😬 As the UK’s first and only hyper coaster for 30 long years, and a visually iconic monument and shining investment in a.. let’s say ‘economically challenged’ area, the amount of love and defence it receives is understandable and almost justified. I however, with the financial implications of a full replacement, have for years now dreamt of some kind of steel to steel RMC conversion. Turn the UK’s first hyper into the UK’s first RMC! The swing axle trains could probably even navigate that difficult drop with very little change. Or maybe even try to eke out another 25ft if they were feeling petty enough to retake the height crown. At the very least this thing needs a full re-profile.