Does a narcissist think about the bad things they have done?

[@Berta-eu9mk]

Confession by narc . They don't care how they hurt someone they care how it makes them feel or look .

[@abva56]

They can try to hide what they do not to feel, but they can't run and hide from their pain and what they do to others forever. God sees all. And no one can run from God.

[@lastthingsministry]

Amen! They may be demon possessed but they will be judged for not wanting the demon cast out. They will be judged for loving the lies that the demon feeds them rather than loving the truth, loving God.

[@lt3074]

Amen 🙏🏾

[@owllady88x8]

@@lastthingsministryspot on!!

[@cressiddabreo5683]

Amen! All the pain and chaos they cause in people lives. The lying, the cheating, the stealing, the abuse, the list goes on and on. It will come back to them 100 fold.

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

I was at my ex-narc's deathbed. He knew his hours were numbered ( he died 2 hours later). While he was still lucid, he whined and cried about how he lived and what he did! AND he knew he could no longer lie and manipulate! HE KNEW, HE KNEW! And he was afraid!

[@Felipedacruz3670]

Great video…. I always had a feeling that they know exactly what they are doing…. They just play games and act dumb… to gaslight people….. and they never apologize 😅

[@IFY0USEEKAY]

Yup, they will justify lying, cheating and every other hateful act because, "I was hurt..." Yet, anyone that calls out their behavior is, "too sensitive."

[@kimgordon3695]

If they're awake, they're ON ~ They not only know, they have methods

[@Buttercup-vw2zo]

But if you did the same thing to them it would be hell tp pay FOREVER.Narcs are also hypocrites.They want yoi faithful while they screw everything under the sun

[@yellowdayz1800]

It snot funny if they want to be seriously cruel to you.. Mine married me to do so.. And I was a stable happy person.

[@athomeskincare8346]

They blame their victim

[@ladyvirgo013]

He had someone that loved him,his wife,me. He shit all over the entire marriage. Sad for him

[@jillb7234]

I feel ya!❤

[@vernabryant2894]

They believe their own lies.

[@anettewaits3677]

…if you are honest you can feel that they do not care about you…Thanks Ben 💚

[@karlippo]

Yeah its like the even compartimentalize or generalize “women”. You (meaning Women) always blablabla. It often felt like hey is it even about me as a person, or do you just see me as A woman. It often felt he was mysygonist even “you women are all the same”. And he would say I dont have a type. I now understand it was just about the usefulness of a person. Even his friends he used for specific things: fixing his car or getting him tickets etc. And women were just there to supply him with a particular thing he wanted Its so sicking

[@rottiemom1891]

If you're honest with yourself, you would know they don't care. I wasn't honest with my feelings. I didn't want to believe that he didn't have the feelings I thought he should have. He showed me signs he "loved" me but, then he would do the opposite. Does that make sense? He was very good at his lies. 😟

[@anettewaits3677]

@@rottiemom1891 💚

[@J.Franco-e4t]

Didn't know they never loved me till 34 years later the lord showed me.knowing this up front CAN help you leave .now not 34 years wasted 16 to 50years old lost my whole life most valuable years sad 😔 😔

[@anettewaits3677]

@@J.Franco-e4t 💚

[@PassarinvanderWal]

I live with a Narcissist husband one thing that surprised me “ He is a coward person!” They have so much ego, but Are they all cowards? ???? I think that is their shame.

[@vyoufinder]

She told me repeatedly: "When you're not there, you don't exist. Not even a thought in my mind, you don't exist."

[@sailorPinata]

I wonder I they have ADHD... But they also never forget their exes as they love to text them to cheat on us sooooo

[@tjtampa214]

She told you the truth, believe it or not. She doesn't understand brain science so she can't explain it (and we find it hard to believe this weird anomoly anyway). But Psychologists say it falls under one of two categories: 1) Their brain is not fully functioning (and can't access certain areas). 2) Their brain is fully functioning but not correctly. - - It takes a lot of repeated and extensive learning to get the full and correct information on the topic of damaged brains (the toxic kind). It takes a lot of time and effort. Memory has a lot to do with it and with no constant memories of "people" and "time elements," the gaps in their memory cause huge problems. Plus lies to avoid pain or shame or weakness also adds to compound this problem. The problem can create an enormous, complex mess for themselves and those around them. If they are halfway understanding their problem but are isolated and don't understand how to change, it's sad. (Or if they have retardation on top of NPD - wow that is even more complex) - But if they have fully bought into the dark side of it and are willing to stay with the evil, criminal side - you don't feel compassion for that most of the time.

[@laurabeigh283]

mine said the same!

[@elizabethmorton1585]

I don't understand how they can go from one bed straight to the next without a care in the world.

[@clintonnagy1662]

I experienced that recently after the discard. She convinced me she was gonna be ALONE, then went to her ex boyfriend and spent the night. She can't live up to her word nor does she care. When I confronted her she tells me " you dont own me ". That's what caused me to spiral into depression how fast she jumped into his bed after being with me. I'm staying single for a long time. This woman cost me alot of time, emotional abuse and money. I truly feel ruined.

[@Butwhoan]

@@clintonnagy1662 I was seeing a girl and she cried and begged me. Love bombing every single fucking day. One day, I was late to text her because I had a medical emergency.Guess what? She blocked me. I tried to reach her out then guess what? I got a phone call from a police department. She told them that she does not know me and I was the one who was harassing her! Can you imagine this?

[@ariesnarona]

That is part of their disorder. These people are disordered. Their neurology shows they do not have the scientific capacity to love or feel empathy.

[@JanetMitchell-y8i]

The narcs do not see us as people. They only see us as objects used for their own benefit. He always told me that he could be perfectly fine alone. Turns out that it is the total opposite, he cannot be alone self reflecting. He is recycling exes, buying their attention with money and helping them. He told me "you know I am a pretty generous person." I call him Big Man Spendin. 💩

[@vivianperdue4329]

They're nasty

[@martinpolston9077]

I was running full force towards the pain thinking I’m the man I can handle it, but I was a fool

[@Meemo44]

😔♥️

[@fritzbaden8085]

Yeah relationships shouldn't torture you.

[@kimberley6446]

Immediate repeating of "I'm a good person" "I have a good heart" Yeah ok sure

[@sterlingsmith4474]

My covert said “I’m not a bad person”

[@ROCKTRESSARISING]

Way back he told me he had a dirty heart. Then when I reconnected with him stupidly he told me he had change and has a good heart after that. So clean heart with dirty heart equals muddy heart

[@1010QUEEN7]

I know I heard him say that for many many years I think he believes it smh

[@carolmatthews1073]

We make allowances and have compassionate understanding for a mentally retarded person. In effect we expect to receive little from them in the realms of deeply interesting conversation, right? For that we have to go elsewhere. Well perhaps narcs are feelings retarded, unable to return feeling at the same level. We have to dance around their undeveloped “retarded” feelings and find nourishment elsewhere. Sad but true.❤

[@cassiebennet4262]

That's them trying to convince themselves of their false self's existence. It's very difficult to convince themselves of that and that's why they need others to recite this to.

[@real_hello_kitty]

They don’t care, because there’s no consequences.

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

But there ARE consequences! See my comment earlier. Consequences may not show up till much later, but there is CAUSE and EFFECT. And because the effect may not match the cause, people don't make the connection between their past action and the misery that hits them later! And it DOES!

[@styler-ji5pr]

Totally thought he loved me equally but now that I'm aware it makes sense that he didn't love me the same way because he would have treated and appreciated me a lot better then he did. It's a hard pill to swallow

[@ItsSoarTime]

VERY HARD PILL TO SWALLOW, but swallow we must and move on and never repeat history. refer the channel Heal NPD and/or my playlist: HEAL the Narcissist with CPTSD. it's very pitiful!!!!!

[@ItsSoarTime]

at this stage, I VERY SERIOUSLY DO NOT CARE. I REFUSE TO CARE AGAIN!

[@lastthingsministry]

Then you will become one of them. Team Satan.

[@GatesRapes]

Count me in !! Who really cares what a Narc does , except maybe another Narc , such trash !!!!!!

[@colinnelson225]

A narcissist's apology: "I'm sorry you feel that way"

[@RawMotivations]

We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@colinnelson225]

@@RawMotivations Thank you, and thank you for putting yourself out there like you've done. No one should have to put up with what I lived through for the last 5 years. I saw all of this too late, after it was over...we've got to find a way to reach people who are noticing the trouble but not gluing it together into the big picture. I cant say I regret the relationship because it helped me to realize that I have what it takes to have a great relationship with someone.

[@jamarthomas3773]

When they hit a tuff spot they go into hiding. But it always catches up eventually.

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

As soon as the narc remembers their wrongdoing they instantly plaster it up w an excuse of how it wasn’t their fault and the narc moves onto the next topic. Just stay away from narcs, that’s your best option.

[@Jan-hm8sd]

Living like this has to be exhausting... even to hear the explanation of it all makes my head spin.

[@janbo8331]

The worst part is that removing the exhaustion and anxiety is not as simple as getting rid off the narc.

[@ItsSoarTime]

yeah, dude kept telling me "i'm so tired ..." yeah, THEY ARE EXHAUSTED!!!! YET MANY ARE DOING N O T H I N G to address the behavior that is exhausting them!!!!!

[@jillb7234]

Try living it!!! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone!!

[@lacithedog5506]

She didn't demonstrate love. I had to beg for it.

[@tinababy86]

I should send him a toaster for Christmas

[@belle1901]

They just want ways to provoke and blame others for their feeling

[@BROOK69BANKS]

💯💯💯

[@nextupafrica9897]

I could never understand how my ex husband of 12 years just moved on to some 21 year old and walked out of my life & our 2 kids 4 and 10. Like we never existed. Then blamed me for ‘ making’ him cheat and blamed the kids for not appreciating him enough. Painful beyond words. But I’m healing.

[@RawMotivations]

Would love to help you heal as well. Https://www.rawmotivations.com/survivor

[@Yanny420-az]

It’s crazy!!!! It was MY fault she cheated

[@judymarkos2149]

Cannot thank you enough for this. You’ve explained 18 years of hell.

[@RawMotivations]

Hope you are finding time to heal

[@mathews0618]

I think their feelings and entitlement are real and they believe they are justified

[@fainitesbarley2245]

The inner anger, envy and resentment makes them feel justified in the pain they inflict on others.

[@alonzomosley7]

I am really not sure a narcissist knows they are doing wrong .They are perfect and never do anything wrong

[@winxclubstellamusa]

The only way an NPD can feel good and regulate their emotions is via feeling superior after seeing how they had the power to cause pain and confusion. They are purposely and sadistically malicious. They laugh and smile after they hurt us and make us cry for a reason.

[@DrPhilGoode]

You might want to find another channel since y’all disagree on this level 1 doctrine.

[@winxclubstellamusa]

@@DrPhilGoode I think Alonzo is still in the denial phase of grief. I’m sure they will wake up soon.

[@DrPhilGoode]

@@winxclubstellamusa 🤣🤣 it’s cool I was messin with him. I had just heard Ben say…ya they definitely know. Then I got to Alonzo’s comment….no they definitely don’t 🤣🤣

[@alonzomosley7]

@@DrPhilGoode I just joined and am already being kicked out !! Cut me some slack .

[@americawaters4257]

The idea of compartmentalizing one's life is eye opening. All my stuff is in one big box. I look at it as a whole. What I do in one area affects all areas... because it's me.. It's my life. Why lie about it? I would hate to live knowing I'm fake. It's like cheating at a game to win. Where is the real taste of victory? There isn't one.

[@ItsSoarTime]

learned in childhood ... refer to Heal NPD ...

[@rosemarie7816]

My son's dad is STILL trying to gaslight me over what actually happened to end our relationship after 12 years. He just did that last night, and I called him out on his gaslighting and called him an unpleasant name. Oh well, he tried. He tried to paint himself as the good guy and me as the bad guy to make me feel in some way obligated to give him some supply. Didn't work. I stopped him cold.

[@lilyroberts8080]

It's the truth but yeh it hurts like hell when you have invested so much into plans with someone. He has tried reaching out to me these months but there is not an ounce of remorse there. There is no way I can let him back in. Trusting him has cost me so much. It's not about love. It's about control. I want to project my feelings onto him and imagine that somewhere inside he's realized how amazing I am and that he truly loves me but I know that road doesn't lead me anywhere. There's nothing left but to grieve him as someone who is dead and to accept the pain of the reality of the things I gave up to accomodate the life I thought we were going to have together.

[@sandranardella5516]

I know how you feel. I went to the extreme of marrying him. It didn’t last 2 years. I sacrificed everything for nothing. Don’t look back I struggle to with always going back to him not this time.

[@latanyawhittaker4754]

I totally 100% understand this. Mourning the fantasy of who he was. I also can say deep down I knew something was off. It's so hard to explain. I cosigned some of it until you get to your breaking point. Mine was so emotionally taxing I'd fall asleep crying. Fact is IT WILL ESCALATE. I got out before I got physical I firmly believe it will get there foreveryone! Maybe throwing something and accidentally get hit. It's sad and so soul crushing. Im.healing and it takes time. I look for the day when he isn't even a factor in what I do. THAT WILL BE THE DAY THAT I'M TOTALLY FREE. "Falling in love with the mask.

[@alyssamoore3626]

I do think it's important to remember that narcissism is a spectrum, and not all narcissists go to the same extremes. Other than that, I appreciate these videos

[@nicholecornes1915]

Give that shit time!

[@amylou6727]

Yup

[@sleeperno1215]

But, for my own safety, I have to assume the toxicity is extreme unless they prove otherwise. You can have a pet rattlesnake. But, don’t delude yourself into believing the snake loves you.

[@ItsSoarTime]

yep. refer to Heal NPD and/or my playlist: HEAL the Narcissist with CPTSD ...

[@sleeperno1215]

@@nicholecornes1915, when we don’t want to face the truth, we delude ourselves into to believing it really isn’t that bad. This is really just making excuses for toxic behavior. Every narcissistic interaction is a test to see how far you will let them go. Address it early or be abused more later.

[@todadaniel400]

That is why they lie!! They know they are wrong!! What a wicked spirit!!

[@Prabsin]

She asked me “what is Love and how it happens” she said she doesn’t know how to connect to people emotionally other than family members. That was the one of the clearest & honest moment of my relationship.

[@wildrose12.47]

One of your best videos, Ben. Thank you for clarifying how they know they are doing wrong. Thanks also for drilling it in once more that they don’t care about us. We are a tool for their ego and a means of validation and soothing to someone who can’t find the truth of themselves.

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you

[@denisguay4315]

Yes it is one of the best video he ever made. Listening to him saying everything in the video and being so right.

[@ItsSoarTime]

um-huh!!!! DITTO!!!!!!

[@powdayyy]

Thank you for this. This has been driving me crazy. Being manipulated over and over again with false apologies and being so baffled every time the same bad behavior comes up a few days later. He really believed that apologizing meant it’s in the past and it’s dealt with.

[@RawMotivations]

Would love to help you on your healing journey. Check out this video to see if you connect: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@callmeda98]

Ben I just want to let you know that you are an incredible example of growth and self improvement. The way your able to elaborate on these things is incredible. Hard to believe your a narcissist, you’ve just progressed very far man. Keep up the good work and thank you for helping give closure to people in need

[@RawMotivations]

I appreciate that!

[@bloodymary8540]

I agree💯

[@Yathome00]

SPOT ON!!!! “ that didn’t happen, that wasn’t me, that’s not true”. UGH!

[@thatgirl6048]

This was so hard to hear but so needed. Finally realizing after 9 years of marriage my husband is a narcissistic. Text book, everything you describe and explain in these videos are play by play events that have happened in my day to day life.

[@amuddymoose]

Same

[@thatgirl6048]

Move forward, run! Best thing I have ever done for myself

[@msully76]

they know they don't care

[@thatgirl6048]

They dont@@msully76

[@ItsSoarTime]

sorry. also refer to Heal NPD and/or my playlist: Heal the Narcissist with CPTSD and the HEAL playlist on the different healing modalities/practices.

[@cherrybacon3319]

I believe their ego outweighs and fuels their covering up and avoiding accountability for shame and guilt. My Ex would Mask himself by acting as if he was on top of the world. And this would make his rages particularly venomous and viscious. 🍒

[@Bailey_G]

😳Wow! Literally every single point you made here and every single word is ALL 100% spot on about the narcissist in my life. I mean ALL of it and exactly the behaviors of this person. Thank you because it's so validating (he always chastises and tries to vilify me when I try to get him to see these things in himself - I know, pointless for me to do so) and also there is great comfort in hearing this from someone that truly understands it all. When I listen to your videos, I feel like I'm listening to someone that speaks my language about this topic. I needed this today because I want out so bad but for now it's very complicated so I'm stuck for awhile. Thank you again!

[@RawMotivations]

Would love to help you on your healing journey. Check out this video to see if you connect: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@awisnow8613]

100% what happen to me. He is very aware he makes everyone a victim. But he won't change who he is.. not that I asked him to but bothers him when I made a boundary.

[@RoopaDudleyPaintings]

Knowledge is power. I don't expect a Narcissist to behave like an adult. It is a mental disorder that makes them appear human-like when we know they are more like an Android. Walking away is always an option but then it opens another set of problems. For people like me who have way too many interests and forming a meaningful relationship with someone else is not a priority, sticking around and letting a Narcissist be is the option I am taking. I can adjust myself. Having Jesus by my side to rely on helps a lot. I am not saying this out of empathy for the narcissist, but rather accepting it as my reality. The problem arises when people in my situation want a loving and meaningful relationship with their significant other. I know that is not going to happen here.

[@athomeskincare8346]

God shows me the truth.✝️❤️🙏

[@Berta-eu9mk]

They know 💯 tell others they were as***le but not the victim.

[@Cr8ive453]

Of course they know, every action is premeditated to inflict their desired effect; their aim is to control, akin to a game of chess - a game of chess takes a lot of thinking

[@eminemstrash2021]

Narcissists delude themselves but its their own deceit that keeps them from grace and healing.

[@athomeskincare8346]

They don’t connect to part of their soul they reject it .Their heart rejects part of their soul.

[@marywhite3970]

Correction...They don't have a "soul."

[@moniquenel854]

He told me all the time that he had a great ability to compartamentalize. And I saw it first hand. Narcs tell themselves whatever story they want depending on the outcome they want . It can change from one day to the next. I didn't matter in the relationship at all. I was just a Narcissistic supply and when I stopped reacting to his manipulation and refused to conform he lost total interest.

[@awisnow8613]

So they cycle through people doing exactly what they fear? To not be loved

[@visancosmin8991]

Exactly. This illness doesn't make any sense. If you want to be loved, you just have to love, is as simple as that. But they do exactly the opposite. It doesn't make any sense. I think that besides being emotionally ritirdid they are also intellectually ritirdid.

[@sisterkamilah4373]

I divorced the narcissist I was with and he was ordered to pay me every month. I wonder what he thinks about that when he hits send on Cashapp every month 😂 haha. You can’t put that in a box! He has to think about me every month…b****

[@tribblegirl2]

Oh, I guarantee he thinks about it DAILY. If not more frequently! It eats him alive :)

[@sisterkamilah4373]

@@tribblegirl2 lol I’m glad. He deserves it after all the hell I went through.

[@RawMotivations]

[@ItsSoarTime]

humph. i'm SERIOUSLY wondering IF he, as a result of those hits to his wallets, has even thought to attempt to change/improve ...

[@nicholecornes1915]

Lol I love you

[@emmarae4322]

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." I heard this all the time.🙄

[@yeahsteeeve]

I'm immediately skeptical when I hear "I'm a self aware narcissist". In all my dealings with narcissist, self awareness isn't possible with a narcissist.

[@LoveBeautyFun7]

Bomb video

[@Mel-fl5fs]

He always use to tell me “you won’t understand “ when I use to confront him on certain things or “you don’t like to hear the truth” but he wasn’t telling me the truth all the while! I was always kept in a state of confusion ALTHOUGH I knew something wasn’t quite adding up

[@RawMotivations]

That’s a tough situation. Being told “you won’t understand” or “you don’t like to hear the truth” while not receiving genuine honesty can leave you feeling confused and invalidated. Trust your instincts and clarity. Discover how to break free and gain clarity by joining this free masterclass: www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass

[@tamvee]

My ex makes the mistake of thinking that he's smarter than everyone else and that he is successful in gaslighting. He tried gaslighting myself for 26 years and our daughters. Never worked once on us. He wasn't very good at it. He worked away at the mines and he often told me how everyone there hated him because he was a better operator than him and that must be why. No. I found out after they hated him for two reasons. He was arrogant thinking he was king shit and he spent 10 years smearing me and my daughters on how bad we treated him. They didn't like that and his name was mud when they found out and he had an affair with his co-worker. He tried to convince me all the physical abuse was due to being sexually frustrated. He even told our daughter it's in the past and we all need to get over it.

[@LoriCadwell]

I have found my guru!!! Thank you Ben! I have been studying narcissistic personality for 2 years and your content and delivery are the best I have found. I am binging.

[@susannablessings5773]

My husband is a severe narcissist. He is successful on his job he is verbally abusive and screams and yells loudly and scares me and our children and he scares our dog and sometimes get so close up in our face while he's screaming that he's spitting at us. He has extreme anger issues from his childhood. I have been married to him for 7 years and want out of this marriage however there's a side of me that feels sorry for his severe affliction. I don't love him and my kids greatly dislike him. He is not their true dad. He resents them too.

[@RawMotivations]

Thats a lot to go through. Please reach out for help: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@marknimmons2051]

@@RawMotivations Please leave for your children and your dog!! Life is too short to waste another day with someone who steals your peace and the purpose God has you here for!!

[@pamelamann2103]

Get out!! If not for yourself, do it for your kids!!!

[@susannablessings5773]

@pamelamann2103 June 2024 HE LEFT!!! A TRUE MIRACLE FROM GOD. WE SIGNED DIVORCE PAPERS A WEEK AGO. THANK YOU GOD FOR FREEDOM

[@pr3ttythrifty476]

Of all the self proclaimed narcissist I’ve watched you seem the most professional I can really appreciate the work you’ve done on yourself and to help others!

[@MattySkydaddy]

My narcissist ex had those weird short moments where she told me „I sometimes treat you so badly“. I acknowledged this and didn’t say anything to that, always telling her I can handle it (because she actually really had a very bad childhood with a physically abusive mother, so I was very lenient)… everytime she said something like this there was a huge fight later that day because of minor stuff I did or said wrong, like loading the dishwasher wrongly or something stupid like that. I actually knew something was very off, but I only discovered later what narcissist abuse was. But I guess in these situations she actually felt guilt.

[@RiverRatSurfers]

That's a trip hearing you say that. Mine would acknowledge her behavior very similar to what you said yours did. But it was always followed by a rage or fight over something small or made up misunderstanding.. evry time like a clock om the wall

[@DivinePurpose838]

No. They move on with their lives looking and planning their next attack. Sad but true. Protect yourself everyone!

[@holly8132]

Mine agreed to have a baby then flipped when I got pregnant and turned vile towards me and didn’t want to go ahead. Pleaded poverty then bought a new car after I left him, turned his family against me throughout when he was the one who was abusive. I feel so traumatised and blindsided

[@fena1931]

They very well know what they do, ... they very well know the pain cause to others .... and they don't care !! ...

[@MarkLupson-it6xu]

Excellent perspective. Comprehensive and relatable. Critical information. Mandatory viewing.

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you. Here to help! Https://www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@SenSakura-dj6bq]

"I have done nothing wrong, my conscience is at peace" after plenty of abuse, gaslighting, lying and cheating. Recently she admitted to be traumatized, that she realizes that it is not going to go away, and that she needs therapy, but that instead she is prefers evading and avoiding looking inside (with parties, new supply, alcohol, drugs, trips, etc) and just "enjoying life". Meanwhile she left behind a broken home with a little daughter and her ex-partner with PTSD.

[@margaretgreason1785]

They think they are special, but they all use the same playbook!

[@Prometheuspredator]

Just like you said, Ben. "You deserved it!" Or anytime they are inconvenienced and this also includes very small inconveniences to you and others such as at waiters, inconvenience store employees or talking on the phone to customer service/customer relations and having to wait in line for the next service representative my ex narc. brother will flip out and go off on them if they don't provide him the answers he wants. Like his response after the conversation is, "they deserved it!" He thinking is they are below me and they deserve my reaction such as his rage and going off on them. And, yes they don't care about you and could careless what happens to you. If you died they could careless.

[@sylvanascott1166]

Why do these people get to run around and humiliate and mistreat people and not held accountable for it. Especially the ones that have children and don’t take care of them.

[@kimgordon3695]

They care if you're their key supply

[@심순-w4m]

Exactly

[@chelceasurgenor598]

I'm so thankful for you Ben. Please pray for me to get out for good this time. I hate it! Its so hard. I don't even like being around him most of the time! But yet I miss him when I leave. I just keep praying for God to take it all away. My feelings or whatever it is.

[@secreteobsession3584]

Me too

[@somethinggood9267]

Ask God to severe the emotional chord that is connecting you two. Also journal about everything bad and read it when you miss him

[@jsimon7737]

It's a trauma bond. Do your research and put yourself first.

[@boletsantiago6732]

Be strong, pray hard , it will pass nothing is permanent you will be healed in jesus name🙏

[@kittthompson]

Of all of the channels, I feel like you answer the questions I’ve been asking. This is most helpful. Thank you

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you!

[@debral9651]

Interestingly the man I was with in the past used to always say he was good. But there was one really dark conversation he had with me where he admitted that he had the potential to be a really bad person. He also said a few other questionable things that showed he was not thinking normally (perhaps a little more dangerous than a narcissist). Because of his good persona I ignored it as he "just had a bad day"

[@golnazabaee599]

same in my case.

[@visancosmin8991]

What did he say ?

[@debral9651]

@@visancosmin8991 he literally said "I've got the potential to be a really bad person". He also said "I've done horrifically bad things in past lives. Hitler type stuff. So I do have that in me, that streak".

[@Minisynapse]

A lack of awareness of one's capacity to cause destruction is much more scary to me. Someone who acts as if they cannot even imagine themselves doing bad things...

[@debral9651]

@@Minisynapse actually I agree with you. That is way more annoying... Yes. I think that's why I ignored it at first. I do see that as a reality for most people. However, my niavity and ignoring it was my downfall, because I didnt read him well enough. Now i know better. People give you signs.

[@patriciaalva1156]

Mom thought about those things and felt remorseful but only when she would get sick and was afraid of dying and meeting her maker. Once she got better she would go back to her narcissist ways and didn't seem fazed by her behavior until she got sick again. The day she died she lost her ability to speak. I wasn't there some off my siblings were there and her doctor stood by her side until she took her last breath. Brother said she was terrified and was fighting it until she closef her eyes. I hope she has found peace and happiness and that her mind has healed. I have found peace in my life now that she has gone and have let go of all resentments and can even remember some of the good times I shared with her. And that what I hold on to now instead of the bad stuff.

[@shahnazbi8346]

Good on you girl.

[@HTHTNT77]

I wanted to ask... what was the shift that made you a self aware narcissist?

[@laurabeigh283]

He treats everyone like they don’t matter then whines when he is rejected.

[@annemariedeg.3507]

Thank you so much. Now I finally understand what I feit. Like I didn't exist when he was not there. I was in the box. Keep up the good work ! ❤

[@Tlj4722]

Even more clarity.....thank you❤

[@zeddeka]

The branch of psychology that deals with this is known as 'object relations'. Because people with NPD have such a messed up view of themselves, they also look at others in that way too. They view both themselves and others as objects.

[@leeboriack8054]

After watching this I sure won’t feel guilty about not negotiating with someone I suspect to be a narcissist.

[@RawMotivations]

Good!

[@kenyarogers6289]

Good information, but I’ll never trust a narcissist; not even a self aware narcissist lol

[@denisguay4315]

I have 2 kids with her, one is from both of us and the 2nd adoption. She use verbal abuse when she's not getting what she want. She devalue the kids. To my oldest that he's 14 years old, didn't want to go to a xmas party because he was not feeling well. She told him you are not my kid anymore and i am not your mother anymore. The next day she acted like nothing had happen. To my youngest with anxiety and adhd, she put him out of the house during october when it is cold outside shirtless because he didn't want to go sleep and sometimes he says i wanna leave the house. In the process of her mind she went you wanna leave then go and she bruised him on the chest and put my 9 years old at the time outside. She tried to justify her move and thinking aroud her co-worker and to even me. With me she met a wall and i told her you didn't really think it thru. She always defend herself and play victim.

[@essty48]

I like the new production. The truth is he doesn’t care. Just another doll on the shelf. This truth can set me free I now clean up this fantasy and free myself to myself happily

[@julianamendez7311]

Thank you for all you do. Hearing this makes so much sense Definitely feeling emotional realizing how accurate your message is.

[@tinajones5548]

That was a tough one to listen to but I "get it". Without truth there is nothing ( that's why he called himself empty). At my discard he opened all of his boxes and said he'd opened pandora's box. All his demons were unleashed and sent in my direction. When you're going through hell, keep going. Stay strong and steadfast. Life does gets better...

[@RawMotivations]

Appreciate you sharing your story. It must have been really tough. I'd love to invite you to our free masterclass where you can learn how to break free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@tinajones5548]

@@RawMotivations thank you for your kind words and invitation. I think I'm OK now. I have fantastic support and a lot of love surrounding me thank God. Everything you've shared has helped me and will help others. Thank you

[@normalindah3686]

He had two rental storage bins, clutter/boxes at office, in every closet at home, his whole life and toxic behaviors in boxes. Omg! Clear the path, move on was his motto.

[@MaryDunford]

Honestly, knowing what I do now makes it harder to take the high road sometimes. God give me strength.

[@monalabelle9873]

Great, concise, valuable, 13 minute video!

[@RawMotivations]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@robinmillichap4225]

If they put you in a box and push you to the side, how and why does hovering happen?

[@TeresaCarol-k3w]

Narcissist their way or no way .They want power no care but will buy love gifts hotels hoildays meals clothes jewellery. I knew towards end i had to escape he nade me feel sick.Horrible relationship hell.

[@RocketGirl420]

Maybe Someone can explain this to me. Why does they push buttons till the other one explode. To a point they get the police involved and they get in problems. Do they not fear get revenge from the oposit?

[@UltraGalacticSuperFantastic]

My first ex was such a classic narcissist It's really hard to deny. He hoovered me for 17 years, on and off. To this day, he does not believe he did anything wrong. A couple months ago he out of the blue asked me for sexual videos since he was feeling stressed, and I blew up at him! I was like why would you think that is appropriate? He said because we've been intimate before... Decades ago. He was so out of touch, entitled, and rude, he started calling me hostile and certain names for saying no, and then I blocked him for good. I honestly had no idea what that behavior was until the term narcissism came into popular culture. He has not changed an iota. The person he left me for that long ago ruined his life thoroughly. And she ended up cheating on him with his best friend. If that's not karma, I don't know what is.

[@Imarainbow7421]

Wow! Your explanation in this video was so powerful! A big Aha moment for me. Thankyou 🙏

[@RawMotivations]

So glad!

[@jessicakelly3980]

This really makes sense, for 2 reasons, one my ex did something horrible to me , I didn't find out till later , he acted like he didn't remember, maybe he didn't ,it was involving a video , no way he could justify it , when that tape was made , it was in the early stages of our whatever it was , so he couldn't use all those , you did this or you did that, actually at that particular time, I was being awesome, I had came back to him after he had discarded me for another , and I was actually there as a friend and was helping him loving him , he had lost his job , so I was going above and beyond, now later after he started being a jerk , I changed , so my point is he just continues to deny and gaslight , I guess because he can't justify it so he put it away , smh , and the other is , he once said to me " I wish I would meet someone that thinks like me and understands me"

[@kimgordon3695]

They typically find 1 match & that's when it becomes the living hell. 2 people with bottomless needs...

[@QX-xq5uj]

You are so right Ben, thanks for this video! Now I can see how long I didnt want to accept the TRUTH, although I had realized many years ago, that I didnt want to go on like that with his unhealthy way to twist every issue and to treat me as if I were wrong in my perception!

[@mercedeswalker7819]

Nope they think time will heal and they also are avoidant….. if you bring up what they did!

[@Soliz73]

You are 100% on point out of everyone I've watched and listened to you hit home the best. Thank you

[@tinap8227]

The light came on in the early hours this morning, Xmas day, that my ex who discarded me last month is a covert narc. He reached out to me later in the day, I'll have to grey rock. I was getting too close to realising, putting the pieces together near the end and was walking away for a break to process. I had a change of heart, but he was done or was in the process of reverse discarding me. I could have stayed stuck longer but I was tired of feeling confused. Realising that it was all smoke and mirrors and my own projections from the trauma bond is a harsh but needed lesson. It's going to take time to fully believe he doesn't care, never cared. Two wasted years. The squandered money. The shattered dreams. But unlike a narc, I can take accoutability, be honest, accept the shame, process the guilt for ignoring the signs and evolve. What bothered me the most was the dead eyes for much of the time, now I understand.

[@Thatsmybusinessnoturs]

They definitely know. They don't know exactly why they do it but they do know that they do it. However they are able to reason away the reason they are doing it. So I know I do it...BUT.....because you had it coming, because you did x, because you did y. So they know but they feel they are justified in doing so. Proof. My ex sent me the song, Creep, when I had left him. Of course he played the victim and loved to make women feel pity for him. He is kinda messed up, he doesn't know why, so please forgive me. The last discard he sent me the song, Go Easy on Me from Adele. So yes.....they absolutely do know deep down that they are hurting you.

[@betrayedinseattle1767]

That makes sense! I always wondered how he could act like nothing happened after his rage!

[@jessicakelly3980]

When they do something wrong , like maybe sneaky and say I dont see them , but all of a sudden out of nowhere, they just pick a fight , is that because they feel guilty or shame for just a second, but then they push it away by starting a argument or is it something else??

[@moonlightstargem1006]

Yeah my narcissistic uncle did this. He’d blab away talking my ear off never letting me a chance to speak & then when i did get a chance to speak he’d start projecting and saying i was the one talking in HIS ear all that time!! And he said it in such a hurtful way i cried!! Know and believe you are never at fault for how they treat you!

[@kimgordon3695]

The argument is the beginning of the discard stage

[@effiemaccheyne9101]

My God Ben. The appliance reference is the exact word that I have used for years. I've told him that I am only there for his needs and use when he gets home. Stop reading my mind. It's creepy. 😉 seriously, you have been a great help to me and a lot others.

[@RawMotivations]

lol Thanks for sharing!

[@chamuuemura5314]

This is so insightful. It explains why an ex-boss blew up at me when I forgave him for what he’d done to employees including me. By forgiving him I was reminding him of a painful truth he had compartmentalized away. Instead of giving him closure (the expected result) and peace, the forgiveness reopened a closed (and hidden) wound. It was the opening of the wound that caused the pain that elicited the angry explosion. Thank you for your service.

[@RawMotivations]

Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

[@debbiesday8270]

My ex lies to himself all the time so he doesn't have to feel bad about the things he does. It's actually sad. He just lives a lie all the time because he thinks in reality he is so small and insignificant.