When a Narcissist knows that You know they are toxic

[@neomaredi5922]

Covert narcissists are the absolute worst.

[@Portia620]

Truths!!!

[@natashaj9169]

My Mum!

[@advancedbasicsAB]

Spot on. They are much harder to detect as most people on the outside only see the false self: false humility, timid and gentle, charitable. In reality, they have ALL the grandiosity, entitlement of an overt narcissist. The sudden, silent shift in energy I sensed once he knew I knew was absolutely chilling.

[@rohithreddy75]

They are extremely dangerous if you dont understand their game

[@RobNiser]

Neighbour

[@stardustdreams234]

Youll catch on to it real quick when you start noticing their repetitive patterns of BAD intentional behaviors.

[@angelalowe6549]

Yes indeed

[@mathews0618]

I told my ex "the parts of a person that make them human are missing in you"

[@staceyboomboom8031]

You do know that is literally dehumanising a person. A mental illness,is just that. It makes you no better than the person at fault by forgetting they are,in fact, human. They need professional help.

[@mathews0618]

@staceyboomboom8031 i would say her constant emotional abuse and manipulation was dehumanizing but hey, lets show empathy for the person that leaves a trail of destruction in every persons life she is involved with. She lived with her mom till she was 28 and her mom used to spend all of her time in isolation in her bedroom to avoid the rage of her daughter. Spare me the moral lecture

[@natashaj9169]

So true!

[@ShY_6593]

​​​@@staceyboomboom8031 I agree. Two wrongs don't make a right. Narcissists don't hear what we say anyway. Saying something mean or hurtful either makes them mad or not care at all. It for sure doesn't make them reflect. No need to reflect when you think you're always right. Only time they "reflect" is when they tell you what you want to hear after you have an irrefutable claim and call them out.

[@1love847]

Damn! 😂

[@blondshellcc]

My narcissist has now accused me of being a narcissist when I have called him out on his behaviors. He just denies, blame shifts, and projects. It's CRAZY!!!

[@jenniferosborne5778]

SAME!!! I’m now being called the narcissist and he’s literally describing himself as he’s projecting it on to me! He’s textbook narcissist and it’s literally crazy making 🤯😭

[@a.d.b535]

I told him "it's all about you' and he hijacked that statement to use it against me a few days later.

[@carolynwebb8726]

Yep, so annoying! It is always my hormones lol. Gaslight, blameshift, defect, being a victim...which is the Worst!!!! I will never stay with a man again that makes himself the victim. So lame, so weak, so annoying.

[@jasjas8232]

helping a narcissistic person requires narcissist behavior. you have to take control. fight fire with fire.

[@phoenixmode6909]

@@jasjas8232No, best just to walk away, stay away, if you're able.

[@niyserenjiy]

They avoid you and disappear, they discard you pretend you're not family, act as of they don't know you. Out in a public place the make nice, pleasantry out in the open.

[@angelakeely5859]

They are excellent "actors".

[@martaszyszka7654]

They even abandon their own child overnight. Although the truth be told, they'd abandoned them long time ago.

[@QueenBee-fg1iz]

This is what happened in my case. He showed up 6 months after I went no contact acting very depressed. Asked if he was still battling his demons as he had always said that to me. He answered yes, and I told him I had learned about NPD and I thought it might be the cause of his demons. Told him I hoped he get counseling so he could have healthier relationships with the people in his life. He laughed and said probably not as he couldn’t even get to church each Sunday! 🤫 Have never heard from him again, but heard he started the smear campaign the minute he left. Now I’m dealing with his mom constantly trying to talk to me. Have her blocked but she leaves voicemails. She is highly toxic and has created many generations of toxic people.

[@diamondonpurpose9145]

True

[@MelissaWinchester]

@@QueenBee-fg1iz that sounds my history! His mom also abused me after he discarded me

[@sharonb519]

They 💯 know exactly what they are doing. Pure evil! 👹

[@heatherlynn2695]

it's totallly a demonic thing and for me all of them have had religious extremist family members every single one of ten

[@DonaHelms]

Narcissist have many masks, they treat other people better then they do there partner. I delt with that for 27 years of the abuse, discarded only 4 months now. He would act single, flirting with other women right in front of me, I would ask him to stop and I just got told, I'm not going to change what I do, it's my way or the highway. He left.. thank the Lord.

[@6548ww]

My wife also lives her life like she is single she doesn’t respect marriage she says it’s just a piece of paper she has engaged in multiple affairs over the years I have ask her to leave she refuses to go we sleep in separate rooms now I no longer desire sex with her she has single handedly wrecked our marriage she shows no remorse or guilt and says it’s my fault everything was ok for 15 years then one day? Like you flipped a switch she changed without any prior notice it was the time I also noticed she was fooling around with her male coworkers at her work having sex at her work inside the building it was the reason It took me so long to catch on a coworker of hers tipped me off when I confronted her about what I was told and ask to see her cell phone texts? It was WW3 she broke the phone so I couldn’t see the text> guilty as charged

[@The_Joker_]

They ignore you, they’re all a front and they do not like being exposed. Psychopathic super egos.

[@reneegardner2286]

thank you for this comment. their are times when my narcissist will come around maybe even often, but then other times he'll totally avoid me, but a few years ago I exposed him very loudly in public in the small town where I moved to be close to him. he hates that I know who he really is.

[@Peacealways247]

@@reneegardner2286 When I exposed the narc after he tried covering up his craziness I was called jealous, backstabbing, gossipy...no its called taking a stand and letting everyone know you're not such a nice guy even though he used ministry to cover up his mask. He's not the first narc but the worst I've experienced. I'm focusing now on my healing. We all have some form of toxicity in ourselves but its up to us to recognize and fix it.

[@Ericrr79]

They will do anything not to get exposed no matter how much it hurts you, but they are sloppy. At least mine was

[@MegaRockstar48]

They discard you like the time they spent with you, regardless of how long that was meant nothing to them. And they move on to search for their next source of supply. You have to remember these people are NOT normal and don’t follow the human ways of dealing with other humans and healthy relationships

[@tengu6399]

I can verify this statement through my own similar experiences. 👍

[@Gwendeline]

It’s as they are not existing that’s y they siphon off your energy till it’s dried up

[@Oceansgreen]

You are right, I was with my narc ex husband for 37 years and he walked out as if it was nothing, all those years meant nothing to him, defo not right how someone can just erase 37 years from their life.

[@yellowdayz1800]

They really don't... I spent hours trying to talk sense into my husband. Not knowing how evil he is and that he was seeking to lead me to suicide. I am so glad to be free.

[@askew9976]

100

[@hustlegirl944]

They leave for good!! They can’t play anymore. They know they’re done ..or we’re done. They disappear!!

[@thrivingnow7395]

Only to return to Hoover you as if nothing happened after they tried to literally wipe you off the face of the planet. No contact is the only viable option.

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

TRUTH Right Here.

[@Lauren-uc8ev]

Yes! That’s what happened to me. I called him out via text and poof never heard from him again. Not a peep. Kind of drastic and weird .

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

True Facts

[@hustlegirl944]

@@Lauren-uc8ev because they know you’re on to them and they can’t get to you anymore so they look for supplies elsewhere. They take other people off the shelf they have them on. You’re still on that shelf though. They might come back even ten years later. Be careful. Live and love and move on…

[@td2968]

Just cause a narc doesn't know the term for what he is doesn't mean he doesn't know what he does and that it's wrong

[@RawMotivations]

Very true

[@jodizellmer994]

He knows, but he just doesn't care.

[@reneegardner2286]

​@@jodizellmer994 yes

[@TimKnepley]

Or her

[@teresalegum4049]

They know exactly what their doing. My ex is a forensic clinical psychologist and he fucking knows what abuse he’s caused PURPOSELY against me in secret and to my face! So don’t give everyone the impression that Therapy is great.

[@lindawade1203]

Once You KNOW 🚶‍♀️ GO

[@pamelakelley5535]

It took me several years to realize this person had some really severe issues. I was listening to my heart not my mind. Once I told him I had been educating myself in narcissism and told him some of the traits he immediately knew I knew. He went out and got a 3rd party saying he was so unhappy. By this time I had already become reactive aggressive as his ex had become. I saw him with the mask completely gone when he extremely depressed. I asked God to show me him. He did! I knew then it was time to go and I left him. He had to continue to hurt me telling me 2 weeks later in anger about him cheating on me for the last year. He didn't realize that put the nail in his coffin. I will never go back to an abusive, habitual liar and cheat.

[@marleneg7794]

God gave me strength too. Can you tell me how you have done.

[@jonathanomahony688]

Well done for you keep going.

[@inspiredbydior5447]

I’m sorry you went thru that. I’m glad God answered your prayer and showed him to you. Hope you’re healing. ❤️‍🩹

[@dustinquinton]

Narcissist know that they are narcissist. They know exactly what they are doing. That’s why you should never feel pity for them. Whenever I come across a toxic/narc individual, I call them out. And of course they always back down. I guess being 6’5, 250 and looking at them like I’m going to kick their ass helps. I feel no pity for people who prey or take advantage of others.

[@willowclay5406]

You're right, it's their choice be a douchebag!

[@Portia620]

Agreed!!!

[@willowclay5406]

I look at them like they're pathetic leeches!

[@ct6852]

The problem is that they can pick a fight and have zero qualms about blaming you for the aftermath. They can manipulate the law and legal system to believe you initiated it.

[@dustinquinton]

@@ct6852 you are 100 percent correct. Also, if you are in a relationship, and you get mad at them, they will call you crazy and they will also say, “You need help. You have anger issues.”

[@alishar9109]

Morphing is their strongest trait.

[@AndrewFosterSheff69]

It's not a strength. It's because there is nothing there behind the mask, so they have to mirror what is in front of them. They are empty shells, like the blanks in "invasion of the body snatchers".

[@redblue5868]

I think that message of how a narc can shift their abuse needs to be highlighted more often. The most crazy-inducing part for me was how they morphed into a very different personality when they were around me, the empathetic part of me really wanted to believe that they had changed, and I felt so guilty and confused for hating the "old", openly abusive version of them. But all of the projection from them continued and their mask still slipped every now and then, and thankfully some part of me still new something was off, a person's personality can't morph overnight. They push you into a really dark place of thinking you're the problem and all of their previous behaviour was somehow on you, it's bizarre how far they are willing to go.

[@inspiredbydior5447]

This comment is so relatable! My ex was exactly this way! He would come back proclaiming to be this changed Man and he woild do good for no more than 6/8 weeks and during that time I would see the old toxic patterns but didn’t want to be negative and not embrace his change 😩 I was stuck in that cycle for almost 13 years and next month marks 1 whole year of limited contact with him because we have an 8 year old. On the outside looking in, he appears to be a wonderful Man. He takes care of his kids, has a great job, own home, nice vehicles, takes you on nice dates, prays with you, listens to you, you’ll feel like you really hit the jackpot! Just give it about 2-3 months and you’ll start seeing some strange ways and he’ll become distant and almost like a different person. Then you’ll question yourself and think maybe you’re being insecure and not wanting to see the good because you have been hurt before, etc. omg that’s what kept me STUCK for years!! He is a porn addicted, lustful, jealous, angry, manipulative DEMON. He’s so fake and he subtly tears you down. You can’t see it until you’re knee deep and in love. So pathetic.

[@LoraBarcus]

@@inspiredbydior5447 girl seriously I wish I knew who you were! Everything you said is mine to a T. We share 11 year old , together 14 years. Ppl love him, and you know what that side of him is great. I too love that side. But I’m also incredibly overcome by my autoimmune disease that has taken off these last few years due to all the stress. My body wants to quit. The cycle of discarding me every year the last 14 years, fake crying, only to continue this transactional relationship of sex and money has left me so incredibly empty. I finally told him I can’t do this cycle anymore, told him he needs therapy. As I am also going. I don’t trust anything he says anymore. Nothing. I literally can look back and now see through saved messages, he cheated 6 months in , again 1 year. Cheating comes in many different forms, his phone is Jesus to him. Saved voicemails from woman, facebook messenger to other woman, it’s been happening the whole time. I can’t do it.

[@debral9651]

The most confusing part was what you were talking about in the end of the video... I caught him out texting numerous women loving stuff.. and selfies to his ex wife...doing her gardens and flirting with her having lunches etc...and his reply.. "I find your lack of trust abusive". Just completely mind blowing stuff. You start to question your own sanity

[@kathleencampbe3ll70]

"I find your lack of trust abusive." Wow, that's a good one coming from a narcissist...🤣😆😂

[@debral9651]

@@kathleencampbe3ll70 I think after watching Ben's videos and his explanations that he may have felt guilt and shame that he didn't want to feel.. therefore he felt what I was saying was abusive because it felt like an attack. It's just really sad because I was only confronting him with the truth :/

[@lhurdle87]

@@debral9651 They hate truth and will fight you tooth and nail each time to avoid it. Don't even bother wasting your time.

[@kathleencampbe3ll70]

@@debral9651 Yes that's exactly why he thought you were being abusive, because he didn't want to feel guilt and shame. I just found it funny that narcissists always say the damndest things...🤣😆😂

[@debral9651]

@@kathleencampbe3ll70 haha yeah. A bit of a mine field to navigate. Unfortunately he's not self aware and will never see where he's gone wrong or change his ways either. So this sort of thing will continue with whoever he is with next. I don't think he will ever comprehend or acknowledge the amount of agonizing pain I went through, just trying to love him and feeling betrayed or not good enough numerous times. I just wanted to love him and live a peaceful life together. And yeah those words stick in my mind a lot. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cry thinking about them. It helps somewhat to interpret them in another way.

[@AZDC99]

7:00 "After people start getting aware (and start grey-rocking) this is where the abuse ramps up!" As a former target who recently ended a friendship, I'm glad that someone (who used to be) on other side of the coin here is vindicating exactly what I thought was happening

[@javireyes7333]

Me too

[@Jenny-qn1ce]

Same here, I caught on and he and I are friends. He and I also served together and after years of him being emotionally abusive I'm waking up. For example, telling me I can call whenever I want and I do, he is in a brewery in Boston at midnight mind you to verify a key code for his home he literally is screaming at the top of his lungs I'm suffocating him and then blames me for people looking at him. He then has a narc rage in his hotel room when I called his room and then blames me for not letting him be on his sleep schedule. He literally stayed out till 0100 and blamed me for not letting him sleep blames me for screaming at the top of his lungs in the hotel room, and hangs up on me. And no, he has never deployed so it's not PTSD or anything like that. He is a cheering narc who consistently cheats on his wife and I know too much so now he is emotionally abusing me more

[@Beanp2025]

Whether it is friendship, work relationship, marriage, etc. it will inevitably reach a point where it has to end. It is much better to recognize the red flags and exit. They never feel attached to you, only what you supplied them. You don't mean anything really.

[@bencarr4977]

My ex, a counselor, never really wanted to do couples counseling. I was finally able to call her out in her abusive behaviors and broken promises in counseling and that’s when she asked for the divorce. As long as I was at fault and was the one who need to work on changing it was fine, but when I started to push for her to meet me halfway and take responsibility for the pain she caused she wanted out. I think the key moment was when I got a spine and could support my pov to a third party. She resented having to justify herself and preferred to live as victim rather than a partner with equal culpability.

[@iboremytherapist]

Delusions of grandeur, superiority based in age, money, education/intelligence, race, height/weight/strength. Unable to understand that every other person has their own opinions and self interests. Gray rock!

[@lennie1703]

This is like fitting the pieces of a jigsaw together. I grew up acting out of principle, doing the right thing and always worried and perplexed by the reactions of my siblings. I didn't have a clue why they just kept shifting situations and reactions. I just knew they acted like bullies.

[@RebuildingWithClarity]

You may just be a chosen one/golden child. We don't fit in but are the most stable.

[@beckygoldberg3533]

Fitting pieces of a jigsaw puzzle in the dark.

[@corysmith3447]

They guy woh made this video is a narfccist, getting his narccsitic supply from the views and comments

[@kathyadair8552]

Over 500,000K 🪃🧩 to date. In our case, it's me, the Lost and invisible one, that's hanging on onto the bitter end. The not so cerebral, covert BuLLy slid way over to Grandiose/ Histrionic after, I'd walked away from his escalating violence, for 9 Months. I didn't abandon them per se, but, I had to be punished. He disabled me, then Fed me to his much $icker "BuLLy-Victim". Terrorism, TORTURE & Federal felony HATE Crimes. Just some of their Crimes. They owned the Lib, taking out our late (oldest) sister. Due to their incompetence. She, the Golden Child, was a Narc., too. An INVERTED one. (Per, Dr Sam Vaknin) I'm still dealing with their introjects.

[@teresafraser3049]

I call out all of them and this is when they bsck down and disappear

[@sharonguy4860]

I just had to except that I will never get closure. He would never let me explain how I felt and how it was for me. I had to stop trying and mentally move on. Free of him after 35 years. When I see him, it's my terms now. I finally have boundaries.

[@sandraleehurst7350]

You still see him? I am NC after 31 yrs with a criminal protection order against him for 3 yrs for assaulting me

[@teresafraser3049]

A narc ALWAYS knows what they are doing. They are master manipulators that actually accomplish their victoms feeling like its all their fault in why the relationship is toxic!! Run away as fast as you can and save your life !!

[@tham1353]

My ex in a moment of honesty told me he treated his ex the same way as he did me and that he had promised himself that he wouldn’t do the same when we got together. He told me he didn’t know why he did it to either of us. But this was said after 15 years. He very quickly reverted back to gaslighting the situation, continuing what he did and continued to lead others to believe that I was the problem. But in that 15 years it progressively got worse and worse until I was so confused and so lost and heartbroken that I no longer wanted to live. That was my wake up call and thank god I realised my children needed me. So they do know that what they do is wrong even if they don’t fully understand why they do it. The thing you have to get clear in your own mind is, abuse is abuse no matter what the cause is. The cause is not an excuse. Looking for answers is your way of looking for hope that it will change. So you have to ask yourself how long are you willing to wait and hope for change that probably won’t ever come. Because the longer you wait the more damage that will be done to you. No one will believe you. And you will be completely alone in it. And that is the horrible truth. Run!

[@Libbylou77krtc]

I feel so dumb for believing my x narcissist that he would be Loyal and that he would be honest with me. When he cheated on me with at least 7 different people.

[@alishar9109]

It a character flaw on his part. No need to feel stupid. Just don't trust him again. Walk on me once shame on you. Walk on me twice shame on me.

[@angelakeely5859]

You shouldn't they are very good at fooling people.

[@BK-cx3fc]

No kidding! I knew something was up when I found a random cell phone in the car. Knowing I had mine, my ex had been texting me that day so she had hers…once in discovered it was my exs burner…. Talking to dozens of guys on all the apps, maps showing places she’s been it was sickening and heart shattering…. Be glad it was only 7… funny in how they deny everything even when without a doubt caught, she even tried to rhen shjft and blame me. I’ve gone from pissed off to pity towards her. Living how she lives has to be beyond lonely stressful and empty in every way. How much of their life gets wasted and have nothing to show, thank god I’m not like them.

[@angelakeely5859]

@@BK-cx3fc Be grateful your not like them, consider yourself blessed your not, don't forget potential std's they might bring home.😏

[@Libbylou77krtc]

@@BK-cx3fc I also feel truly sorry for them too. Not knowing love or, how to care for someone else truly, spreading lil pieces of yourself all over the place to different people who you're involved with, never knowing True Love

[@foxygayla]

He would act differently around his family. They enabled him. I see it now and know why.

[@nicholecornes1915]

My narcissist KNOW that I KNOW EVERYTHING! I'm living at my moms right now thankGod

[@bailey1493]

Blamed me for not calling but he’d already been giving me the silent treatment, I’d beg him to call..

[@CB19087]

If you address things as they arise, kindly and gently state your boundaries, absolutely no blame towards them, just take ownership of what you require, they start to figure out whats going on. The trick is to start the relationship like that, then you don't get caught up in the net. As soon as you react emotionally, you've shown a button that says "press me for supply"

[@nicoledburns82]

Called out my sister, showed proof of her abuse to my family and some of them asked her about why she behaves like this. She has now decided she will no longer have anything to do with the family and has disappeared lol. She ran and hid with her tail between her legs because she got caught and she knows it.

[@RawMotivations]

Hope she can find some time to reflect and heal, even a chance....if she really wants to . Wish you the best and the family

[@DonnaWest-j3o]

My Narc left but came back. It’s me now who’s discarded him! It was my only option to save myself ❤

[@Gwendeline]

All they do is collect personalities after they put the dead bodies in their graveyard

[@gma729]

Well Said !! PURE TRUTH 💯

[@inspiredbydior5447]

Collecting personalities is absolutely true! I thought my ex had changed and became this great Man! I went back countless times over almost 13 years and we now have an 8 year old. It took me so long to understand how disordered he really is. The nice guy and fake changed Man was just learned behavior. He has only changed his manipulation tactics and learned to hide things better. He studies certain subjects and also other godly Men and takes on their traits and applies them to his life. But deep down he is still the toxic Man child I met in 2010. Gosh I wish I had left him at hello. I only deal with him when I have to and keep things very brief. I don’t plan on ever switching up how I do things with him. I don’t want a friendship any longer.

[@ladiebugs]

Ben, you're one of the best out their that explains narcissism. Thank you.

[@Cluedup2399]

Try HG Tudor

[@jenniferraymond9766]

Bet he's loving his new source of supply. Lol. A KZbin following! Addicts never really get "clean." Just new addictions.

[@NatzTalk]

I started realizing something was off. The rage ( before I knew what it was) just didn't make ANY sense. I just figured he was REALLY hurt by previous relationship trauma so I became even MORE patient/understanding/empathetic but THEN he betrayed me with cheating. He tried to project, used my own words against me, and BLAMED me for shit we already talked about. He said " nothing you say to me, Nat, will hurt me". I realized then that was the worst projection he tried of all so I ghosted him. Life is sweet and sOoooo peaceful. 💛😍💪🏾

[@terriwhalen3618]

Since this happens in friendship as well, I had to tell her in a nice manner that I couldn't listen to her paranoid ideations because I enjoy my peace of mind. This caused a complete silence. No more numerous phone calls at all hours, texts, nothing. I blocked her on all fronts because I know she will try to contact me when she needs something because in her mind I am indebted to her. Well I am nor falling for it. 😊

[@3291-yRC]

You are spot on when u figure it out or have knowledge of narcissism they get worst.👽

[@susanne25262]

He does have this...100 percent.

[@shannaknope7946]

My problem is my now ex narc doesn’t believe or acknowledge that he’s a narcissist. He’s in complete denial about being a narcissist and he has absolutely zero consciousness of his actions & behaviors. He thinks everything he says & does is perfectly acceptable & ok & he has no remorse for his actions & behaviors or how they affect other people. He flat out does not care.

[@resilient8788]

Not intending to sound harsh, but reread what you wrote, except reword the 1st sentence. " He is no longer my problem or drama." Narcissist don't change. Don't blame yourself. They live their entire lives as a lie and are very skilled manipulators. I know it hurts, be patient and loving with yourself. Keep researching on npd as it will help you process what has happened to you as well as help you in the healing process. Labels don't really mean anything, toxic is toxic. Know that all conversations with an actual narcissist person are circular with no resolve ( premeditatedly so I might add) so if his words don't match his action it's time to let go.

[@RawMotivations]

Hope this video helps in any way kzbin.info/www/bejne/nqOzhWBqmtqeqac

[@kathleencampbe3ll70]

Yep, that's the bottom line, narcissists flat out do not care... 👺🤡🤮

[@shannaknope7946]

@@resilient8788 you’re absolutely right. He is no longer my problem. I just really struggle with the fact that he won’t admit that his behaviors & actions are what lead to the demise of our relationship. The kicker is that now that we’re broke up & he’s moving out of my house, he’s so concerned about staying friends with me. I find that hilarious. He only wants to stay friends so he’s got an “in” with me when he needs supply. Not gonna happen. He had a good thing going when we got together & he blew it. I gave him more chances than he deserved to straighten up & fly right & he didn’t. Now he gets to suffer the consequences of losing me not only as the best girlfriend he’s ever had but as a friend. We’ve known each other for 40 years. I hope losing me as a friend cuts him to the bone. I for one don’t need friends like him.

[@Peacealways247]

@@shannaknope7946 Thought about this today. The enemy wants us to think we need the narc but like you said...we DO NOT NEED them, they need us. You're right, the craziness of thinking we even need that kind of ship..not friends at all.

[@katyuha555]

Oh boy I loved it when my mother said im so self absorbed because I said I believe I'm talented in the same thing she always brags about being good at. I just said "well you just said the same thing, I'm allowed to do it..." " YOU TOOK ONLY MY BAD TRAITS THEN?? DONT BE PROUD OF IT".

[@cherrybacon3319]

I once told my Ex specifically about what he was and did as a Narcissist and the effect of his abuse on me. I laid it all out like a 'Thesis Document '. I described all the cycles and his reaction, well, there was none. Just a blank look on his face as he continued to watch Tv. 🍒

[@gailclark4378]

Shocking! They can NEVER take responsibility for their behavior!

[@stacygyuricza2187]

Yep. Been there.

[@AZDC99]

He was just bluffing for a hit of domination

[@reneegardner2286]

A few years ago I sent my narc a detailed text explaining every thing he had done that was abusive and his response "Stop texting me this is abuse!" 😭 I said that's gotta be a mental illness! abuse someone, and then say I'm abusing you?! It's when I was fully aware I was dealing with a narcissist. Unfortunately I was extremely isolated by my narcissist and he's my FP (favorite person) so I've gone back countless times. I'm currently trying to break the trauma bond after 5 1/2 years. the longer you stay with a narcissist the harder it is to leave. 😔

[@timmywitty1432]

@@reneegardner2286Freedom feels soooo good! You’ve got this!

[@natashahall2134]

I started to become aware of his manipulation and lies and stared catching onto his games and yes the abuse got worse and he started calling me the narcissist. It's good for me to find out these things but it's not so good when they find out you're catching on.

[@debimary6812]

I call him out on things and he went crazy. Locked me in my own home. Took my phone. Threatened violence.

[@florencegerns1932]

I fell for this for 25 years of marriage. Praying to get out.

[@sandraleehurst7350]

I have been divorced a lil over 4 months, after 31 years of marriage. Are you free yet?

[@escapingbabylon8730]

I've been married to my narcissist husband for 18 years. He's now aware and hasn't had explosive anger for 2 years now. When I nick his ego I recognize the hurt child abusing me so his words are void. And most of the time I throw insults back or judge his false gas lighting. He smiles now and walks away. It hurts still bcuz it's a hurt soul hurting others. But we're in progression. Maybe I'm the lucky one.

[@soreal1707]

This is almost identical to my 20 yr marriage.. except mine refuses to work. Financial abuse

[@Survivor99]

Hey, how did you get your husband to take some responsibility?

[@escapingbabylon8730]

The most difficult thing anyone can do. Go away and cry and pray that he would see his true self one day. Now he gets his supply from helping as a handy man and clowning around. ​@@Survivor99

[@lobsterbisque7567]

My ex knows she's a narc. She often spoke about her step father who was also a narc(provided she was telling the truth in the first place), And we spoke about narcissism at length as well. She won't admit it outright, But I'm sure she knows it herself

[@Splakyy]

America should just be called narcissism at this point because EVERY one is toxic asf here

[@reneegardner2286]

literally 😭

[@quietstorm6488]

It is crazy to witness this behavior even in young children. They are being trained to believe that it is acceptable to bully genuine people whom THEY deem as weak. I am so grateful that this abusive behavior will NOT be tolerated forever (Revelation 21:3,4).🌿

[@irlandecadet6771]

The Year 2023 is a spiritual year of judgments. The Almighty is telling us ‘to judge our own conscience and repent of our sin.” Ask for a word of wisdom and everything shall be revealed to those who ask.🙏

[@terasaknox7168]

Well...I know for a fact that Jamaica has America beat

[@reneegardner2286]

@@terasaknox7168 so I've heard 😏

[@rhondacooper7957]

In my case it was hard to end the toxic relationship with the ex narc due to physical abuse. That toxic relationship lasted 1 year, I prayed my way out of that toxic hell, and God answered my prayers and freed me from the devil. Thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative. ❤

[@Lbf5677]

I had a similar thing where I had to pray to get away from a narcissist

[@KP144ooo]

Can you do a video on how they act like they don’t want you but don’t want you to be with anyone else, its like they want you to be alone forever, thanx

[@prettyboymcfly]

Can you do a video about "When a narcissist tells you we should take a break but still acts like your partner"

[@Tee-oc8ks]

I’ve literally been going thru this for the past 4 wks

[@prettyboymcfly]

@@Tee-oc8ks kzbin.info/www/bejne/epyYqaNuYr93kKs

[@sitascott8446]

My husband now considers our marriage "just a technicality." But he doesn't want to leave the free rent and utilities, health insurance, car insurance.

[@saraliburd7752]

That’s just part of the devalue-they want to be able to find other supply in peace-they have no conscience and will come back as if nothing has happened until you stop it

[@gionagrace6279]

That's very common...oh and BTW...when they advise we need to take a break....they have multiple relationships going on behind our back but yet they still want to act like a couple. Such evil creatures!

[@alonzomosley7]

I never knew till my late fifties I was an empath ,my ex my whole family total narcs 😊

[@jhavajoe3792]

Same here. Over did the Empath thing, never figuring out some saw a "Chump' ripe for the picking. Better now that I found all this info. But still takes practice to scale back and create better boundaries.

[@natashaj9169]

Yeah same still learning how to build healthy relationships.

[@iamclaynow]

We have so much power than we ever realized. And it was foolish of us to hand it over to them. Ever.

[@roberttruman8444]

I started to think that my ex was behaving in very different ways depending on whose company she was in. This explains why their friends don't meet their colleagues and their colleagues don't meet their relatives and so on and so forth.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Wow, this is exactly what I have noticed for the past 50 years. The narcissist would change how he treated me when we were with people so that he could always be the center of attention. He would even be rude to me to fit in with the other narcissists in the family who disliked me. I am the scapegoat and the narcs in the family were able to use their angst toward me to flip my husband in family gatherings.

[@nclivingstone]

Yes sir- in my case gray rocking ramped him up- the abuse (verbal and emotional) increased tremendously until he finally left.

[@marianatequiero28]

Wow your lucky it left i wish mine would she’s a broke b

[@lindsay3793]

This is exactly what happened. When I would call him out on things (for example, "Hey, I did not deserve that. You could have done x instead of y.") his passing digs and full-on rage-outs would become more and more frequent. He sabotaged the relationship. He could have just taken a deep breath, been a decent human being, made room for compromise, but instead he acted like everything constituted stage 5 fury. 🔥👹🔥

[@gma729]

Run for the Hills and don't look back

[@n0426]

This is so true!! Great video. It’s the closer we all wanted from these people but we had to give to ourselves and once they felt that we are over them they hoover and we take this as a narcissist alert and exterminate the relationship by rejecting the hoover.

[@ninacrawford821]

My covert narcissist says that he's not being passive aggressive or criticizing me when he speaks, He says he's being passionate 😂😂😂

[@TeresaCarol-k3w]

He kept saying he was a good man but he was controlling tried to but I stood up to him he would blame me for his actions. He would say if I'm happy he happy if I'm sad he sad he confused me.He never cheated on me .He would look at females but then I look at males.but he was very insecure. He would buy me stuff and my kids all the time .I knew deep down he was a narcissist It took me ages to leave him he wanted to destroy me.i finish it he wouldn't end it.spot on awareness thankyou.

[@lindarobertson4744]

My ex narc was married for 20 years and said he never cheated

[@peaceindarkness.darknessis3494]

Why is this such a common thing these days?

[@RawMotivations]

Hope this video helps kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXuyeah5nqxpgas

[@alisha55555]

Thank God somebody asked this - I’ve been wondering/was just wondering the same thing too. It’s like the world has gone mad.

[@laurienordin2076]

@@alisha55555 demonic holds and we Are living in the end of this Age of Grace; when the Church leaves, it will be pure hell on this earth.

[@blondie233]

It's always been rampant it's people are now waking up to it

[@Jenjenn1111]

People are just becoming more and more selfish…it’s all about self and not others. To me, narcs are just selfish and immature people. Some are worst than others…some are so bad, they are capable of hurting others to the point of murder and still have no sympathy/ empathy at all.

[@Bisseline]

I really love your channel!

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you so much!

[@angelakeely5859]

Thank you for your honesty Ben, it helps

[@RawMotivations]

Appreciate the support Angela

[@skylarparrish2952]

After a long emotional and mental abuse sesh with my boyfriend he sat next to me and instead of apologizing he asked me what part hurt me the most…pure evil.

[@gma729]

I Witnessed the Demons eyes in my X gf ( Malignant Narcissist ) 💯 PURE. When she ranpaged on my home due to her car keys missing, simply misplaced in my home. , ofcourse she acuses me of hiding her keys, ohhh sure. I was the one telling her to please leave, I may see her again maybe in court, she's facing a basket full of Felonies, including attacking the Police and tryn to take their weapons, not a good idea 🤨🤨 judges tend to frown on that kind of behavior

[@Ariela-ApostolicA238]

It's almost as if youre a "fly on our wall" in our house. I'm still in shock about this. My husband's a covert narcissist, hands down, but if he doesn't seek help, like you did, there's no telling what's going to happen.

[@SigmaFeminine]

save up cash and get out of there ❤

[@deborahyarborough674]

The narcissist I know, told me his previous girlfriend was a narcissist. I looked it up with his other toxic behavior, I figured the narcissist puzzle out. He is a covert narcissist. He finally admitted it. No contact is the best for your mental health

[@Beanp2025]

Is one of the symptoms of NPD from a young age absolute refusal to do even small favors, responsibilities like washing one's own dishes or agreeing to requests, eg. to help bringing something to someone? It's like it's a huge deal. I don't remember ever being so difficult and selfish, and would generally oblige or help in small ways friends and family members.

[@angelakeely5859]

Sounds like my ex your talking about, did cooking , cleaning,washing dishes,doing laundry,doing shopping= burnout

[@abdulc5726]

It's them being contrary

[@angelakeely5859]

@@abdulc5726 I could not have put that better myself,it's exactly that😏

[@Beanp2025]

@@abdulc5726 Is it an early symptom of NPD? I don't get it, I run errands all the time when I was young, do my own dishes and laundry, cook for myself when necessary, etc. It's such a BIG deal for some.

[@reneegardner2286]

yesssssss this is my son. he was always that way from a young age. he's become a narcissist as an adult

[@QX-xq5uj]

It's great to hear this explanation from someone that stands on the other side! Ben, you are so aware that it's almost scary😳 My Ex just couldn't admit ANYTHING although the proof of his cheating and dishonest behaviour was huge! But now that I saw your video I can understand that he was "playing" different games and strategies to trigger me because he knew exactly what hurt me and then he just took the role of the victim that had not done anything wrong and blamed me of being too emotional because the problem was that I didn't trust HIM🙃 His mask fell many times and I confronted him so that he raged at me or cried like a little boy.

[@L.o.u.i.s..]

Right on. This is the channel that gets to me the most.

[@imago9059]

Spot on. Thank you so much. This clears it up. I always had my work as safe space.

[@tamarawilliams276]

Thank you for giving clarity to something I have been trying to figure out for a while..you provided confirmation.

[@RawMotivations]

You are so welcome

[@Empathysuperpower]

They only used and abused me. Some were more obvious to me, but now that I’m 2-1/2 years educated, I see “clearly” and the rose colored glasses are no more. I’m a realist now. I see them ALL for what they are.

[@debmccafferty1007]

Ex texted photos of an Italian celebrity, tried to pass them as his "son." Ran when questioned. Sleazy.

[@jodizellmer994]

Wow! Must really be looking for attention to go that far.

[@jodizellmer994]

Looking for attention or fell for an online scam, and thought he could get him to marry his daughter. He saw $$$$$ and that was all that mattered. Fast way to get rich.

[@deb2319]

Excellent Talk. Thank you.

[@RawMotivations]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Gabichi888]

This is absolutely true!

[@yvettemedina1859]

The is one of the best I’ve heard. Good for others who have this personality disorder. & the ones dealing with it. Thank u.

[@joshwells2251]

I’m being abused as we speak. They try to make me mad only to make themselves feel better about themselves because I’ve gotten mad enough to do some aggressive things. Then tell me I’m a narcissist when yes my aggression can be seen as narcissist. I don’t talk to anyone to lie to I can care less about controlling anyone but myself and I put others before me. I wish to stop letting them make me mad enough to want to be aggressive.

[@brendapena7020]

I am at a loss when a narcissist speaks to their partner as if they are not even in the room , and refers to their partner in the 3rd person

[@ct6852]

They do that to friends too. Creepy as hell. And cruel.

[@steve4524]

My ex stopped the stalking and stopped the hovering once she knew

[@isobelle.London]

You become a threat I’m not exaggerating it’s as if you are strangling them .

[@nopereradicator]

And they will react in kind. Beware.

[@drewcater2194]

you remind them with every breath you take what a shitty person they are, and they dont like that

[@kathleencampbe3ll70]

You become a threat when the narc can't control you... 👺🤡🤮

[@jodizellmer994]

I agree, that's because they don't like it when you tell the truth, because it makes them look bad, so they act like you're crazy.

[@user-dp1by4nt9y]

BEST MESSAGE ON THE INTERNET 🌼

[@mihaelae8704]

Thank you so much. This help me to understand exactly the reality that I live. Crazy days!

[@L.RaeHoldt]

"Get over it or move on" about his emotional affair of 2 1/2 years.😢 Not one ounce of empathy for the pain he caused me.

[@RawMotivations]

Have you considered what your next steps should be on your healing path? Discover the right tools to escape toxic relationships and gain clarity, certainty, and confidence by visiting: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough-call-for-women.

[@etaokha4164]

They know exactly what they're doing. It's to bring out a reaction out of you and you should chase them when they leave. Dont

[@askew9976]

He knows I know. I always know more than I say. Now I need to stay tf away and I’ll be ok. Not so easy.

[@RawMotivations]

Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com

[@emmarae4322]

He told me "Id love to be a shapeshifter" I told him "you are".🙄

[@michellehanes8136]

My ex thought it was funny when I called out what he was doing. This was way before I knew any terms with narcissist.

[@thebiblebunny]

when they laugh in your face while you’re crying… 😖

[@kandikirby1546]

This video and your others have been so helpful. Thank you!

[@dauglove7835]

Recommend -this is a good video! Thank you.

[@winnieamar9368]

Ah! The shame rage spiral !

[@RawMotivations]

Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

[@mercymurape901]

You are so spot on .thank you.

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you for watching

[@tarayoung7873]

This is the text he just sent to me “Almost 2 weeks I don't think I'm going to talk to you again after this text. I'm sure you have made up your mind and I don't want to make my mind up I'm just going to forget. I hope you and the kids have a good life together ❤️.”

[@melissacole1821]

This may sound familiar if you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist. ROMANS: 1 28-32 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affections, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgement of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have PLEASURE in them.

[@MelissaWinchester]

My ex knnows exactly that he is a narc! And he likes being like that! When he discarded me he even said that was not going wrong in his life! He’s just like that!

[@RawMotivations]

Change is a choice!

[@johnnycorn7225]

I'm not the type of person you can get over, three and a half years later of no contact it seems I can actually, but thanks for telling on yourself lol

[@TheAppaloosa14]

I don’t think people want to go back once they know what they are, the pain they are left with is the lack of apology. The injustice

[@voulafisentzidis8830]

It's a waste of energy to seek justice from those who can't give it. Being kind and just to ourselves is our best reward. Eventually we all realise that we're the lucky ones to have escaped the madness.

[@TheAppaloosa14]

@@voulafisentzidis8830 this is very true but in the beginning of the healing journey this feeling is very real. Once we accept fully what they are we do see that they are incapable 💗🙏

[@siyafaith5615]

I met this guy dated him for 5 years, now that I remember on the first date he told me he was controlling. I didn't know anything about narcissism or control. He told me people leave him, I still didn't understand I just wanted to comfort him that I don't plan to leave. Things escalated and he told me well people in relationships would expose each orhers traumas, I still didn't understand and I would pour my traumas to him. Gosh oh gosh. I had abandonment issues with my mom who was narcissist, and I told him. Well years later he would threaten to leave and I would get into anxiety and try fix things even when he was wrong, I got molested as a child after my mom chased me out the house at 7 years, I told him well well being out in the dark alone freaked me out well he would chase ne out his house, after having wine not in a state to drive and the anxiety that something would happen to me sent me to a pit. I recently broke it off with him, after he cahsed me out again, after he threatened the relationship would be over because I didn't want to have S*X. I got tired 😢😢😢😢

[@karenKristal]

omg this is all sooooo true

[@6548ww]

I just told my Covert Narcissist wife this past week I know what she is and have known for 2-3 years I told her to her face she has been rather quiet the last few days and I believe her mother and father whom have both passed were also Narcissist my wife’s heart is black as coal she is evil spewing nothing but toxic poison from her tongue she is so bad she makes herself miserable I just want this nightmare to end

[@kellyfaulk2139]

DEEEEPPPP....CLARITY....REVEALING....

[@CB19087]

Ps this absolutely describes what a coworker did to me recently. In the end, I reported him and he got fired. I am anticipating a revenge move

[@kingaberlakovich5585]

Something is different… they think they are grandiose 😂😂😂😂

[@sahdogwrangler5594]

It's like you're a fly on the wall at the my house. Discovering that my husband is a narcissist & there was a name for what I was going through for so many years, narcissist abuse, was life changing. That was only the beginning. He has always known which buttons to push to get me going, as I shut them down, he'd push harder & try new ones. This is the 1st time I've heard of yellow rocking. It sounds like basically what I've been doing now for a few years. Anything I say can & will be used against me. Sorry to be so wordy, but I follow other narcissism creators & I saw an acronym, JADE, don't justify, argue, defend or explain. I bought a cheap jade bracelet to remind me & I'd look at it & stop talking not realizing I sighed. He called me out on it & now refers to it as the "sigh of disgust". Smh that I get yelled at for sighing. Interestingly, on rare occasions he has admitted that he knows he's different, like not really caring about our children like his friends do. He chalks it up to a car accident he had as a teen because he hit his head. Again smh. I know his family, his raging alcoholic father & shaming mother. It wasn't a head injury. I guess that's all he could come up with, without taking some responsibility or saying anything negative about his family that might have caused it. He just drinks, until he's stupid drunk then mean drunk. First time seeing your videos, I'll have to watch more of them, thanks.

[@ct6852]

It sucks when you're so exasperated with their bullshit that the only thing you can do to express yourself is roll your eyes. And then you get punished for that. That's when you know you just have to get the hell away from them.