reacting to my breakdown videos

hey guys! so this was a weird one to make, it just goes to show that sometimes the early warning signs are there - you just can't see them. If you feel like youre exhibiting early warning signs of your mental health deteriorating please please please go to see a professional to get help, it can only benefit you!! Sending all my love, always xxxx
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just want you to know that i truly love you and thankyou for changing my life, Marie x

[@sem4723]

As someone with an eating disorder I hate to point out someone elses weight but you do seem to have lost a lot of weight, im thinking it could be down to stress/loss of appetite but really hoping ur taking care of yourself and nourishing ur body as best u can...after all it is strong and has got u through so much! Sending all my love :) Xx

[@bella-mccord]

I was thinking this myself... I also suffer from an eating disorder and, while I don't want to say the wrong ting, I just wanted to say that I hope you are well and nourishing yourself... please stay strong

[@cloud.observations]

I actually think your 'breakdown' videos are really important, and I love you whether you are in crisis or not! it is very brave of you to upload them but they have been so helpful for me when I was feeling very similar so thank you xoxoxo

[@troyesivanstan2525]

perfettamentee I prefer her not in a crisis :( but those videos are important

[@rachellouise7080]

I remember even finding that "I hate my mind" video tough to watch myself because I could completely relate so I was obviously really worried about you, so I'm impressed you watched it back.

[@floralanna9043]

Had one of the lowest days I’ve had in a long time so trying to distract myself from the low thoughts tonight. You inspire me each day and make me feel like I’m not alone in facing my depression❤️

[@natalieparker9710]

💜 you're definitely not alone. We all can stand in solidarity with you. I hope you start to feel better soon. In the meantime, I totally agree that watching videos like these can be a big help. Stay safe ❤️❤️.

[@syd5380]

First of all thank you for sharing this, showing the reality of mental illness is so important. Itreally hits close to home for me. I had a hypomanic episode last year and during the whole month long period it lasted I knew something was off but I couldn’t grasp the scope of how bad it actually was until it was over. Your “i hate my mind” video struck me so hard because I related to so much of what you showed in it because it seemed so similar to what I experienced during that month. I might have to use the flipping through a book analogy for racing thoughts because it’s something I have a very hard time describing. I hope you’re feeling better and more stable now ❤️

[@marieroseeee]

Omg Sydney Thankyou so much for your comment. It makes me feel so much less alone ❤️ it’s so hard to describe how you feel and I always try thinking of new ways and that was the best I could think of. I hope you’re doing better now girl, sending all my love xxxxxx

[@huntermitchell9581]

Just got out of hospital yesterday for the 4th time, and hoping for not another relapse. Your videos make me realize that I’m not alone and that I can make it if I take it day by day. Love you loads, xoxo

[@marieroseeee]

Love you! I’m hoping to not relapse either, but we can keep on fighting and not give up. Proud of you. Keep going, I’m behind you xxx

[@nameiscaoimhe]

I think these videos are very important for other people struggling. You are so real and show when you are down and compare it to when you're in recovery, you should be so proud of yourself Marie ❤

[@marieroseeee]

Caoimhe Thankyou so much xxxxzz

[@shannonmclaughlin7801]

You are so incredibly strong. The fact that you carry on is just amazing! You’ve got this ❤️❤️

[@Daisy-zh6gb]

Can already tell this is gonna be an eventful one

[@dpiswife]

I very recently got a bpd diagnosis and when you were talking about how you felt that everything was deeply meaningful and had value while at the same time everything meant nothing is the most spot on thing I've ever heard!

[@Coupleofmals]

Omg meeeee😂 one thing I hate about sharing my life is going back and seeing all my illnesses on camera🤦🏼‍♀️ it’s really hard to see yourself going through it when you finally have a clear head for once. I think this video was great for awareness and really relatebale!

[@yourlocaltransboy7051]

Oooh hi! Didn’t expect to see you here! I’m a subscriber :)))

[@nathalielestrange500]

Even though those videos are cringy to you, I’m glad that you didn’t delete them. I think it is important to see the signs in the way you are and knowing what happened afterwards so you are able to see those early signs in yourself or people around you. Even for yourself those videos can be important so you see how far you’ve come 😌 So thank you so much!

[@fishfingers8441]

Your so strong

[@angelique1886]

You are so strong, as someone recovering from an eating disorder, looking back at previous photos and videos is so hard. Keep fighting xx

[@beckyf4503]

You seem like you’re doing better, so many people are around you to support you (including me!) and you have shown once again you have such strength and beauty 🌹❤️

[@marieroseeee]

Love you always Becky! 💕

[@liannapfister8255]

I respect the heck out of you for leaving those videos up. As much as I hate to see you suffer, such raw videos like those are important and I really appreciate them.

[@TheMarkedGirl717]

Don't apologize for your videos, Marie. Some of them do hurt to watch, but they feel so real at the same time for many of us who struggle through similar issues. Those videos mattered - just as the ones where you're happy and vibrant. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself!

[@marieroseeee]

Thankyou so much!!!

[@holly-bl1rv]

your strength is so admirable and i’m so proud of you!! been struggling a lot recently and your videos are so comforting to watch so thank you for that ❤️ keep going you’re doing amazing!!!

[@marieroseeee]

Thankyou so much holly 😘😘

[@zedderrs]

you’re so strong. so proud of you and you motivate me to keep going. i love you💗

[@marieroseeee]

I love you! Keep going, big hugs to you 🥰

[@yellowshades3717]

R.i.p angel ❤❤❤❤

[@janiechr]

glad you're doing a bit better! this video took a lot of strength and i am so proud. I hope things progress from here and sorry to be a bit intrusive but ive noticed a change in your weight and i just wanted to make sure your physical health is alright as well as mental. Much love to you marie xxx

[@hopebashford2645]

Omg this must of been such a hard video to film... your bravery is just so incredible in every single one of your videos. These videos just remind me of how bad my mental health gets... it’s so damn relatable and I’m literally with you every step of the way. Your amazing Marie and keep going.. thank you for making this video x it’s made me realise the actual warning signs before things even start to happen x I hope your doing okay? Xx your such an inspirational person literally ❤️x

[@sharlenestiller8921]

Thank you so much for putting yourself out there, Marie. It helps a lot to really see someone else being so raw about mental health. I’m sorry you’re suffering so much, I wish you the best for the future. I really enjoy your videos, I’m so glad I came across you. All the best x

[@MariaTherezaSchilling]

Marie, it would be really interesting if you made a video about the path your treatment is taking now, what have changed after you went to mental hospital, how you are dealing with your mental health right now and how you are feeling. Love you!

[@neurodivergentdawn]

I do the same things with trying to find meaning in things. It feels like it makes sense when you are not feeling well, i can't explain why. I'm glad you discussed this though as i haven't thought this was necessarily a bad sign. Love you Marie, you inspire me a lot xx

[@melissamenzies9217]

your honesty is so inspirational you have helped so may people and im so proud to be on this journey with you sending you all my love thank you for everything xoxo

[@zoetunison_2767]

you look so skinny at the moment Marie, if you look on your "do I still self-harm? | Self Harm Q&A" your weight just looks so much healthier than you do now. Please take care of yourself because I really do care about you Marie

[@abbieharrison549]

1000000% agree on the good & bad signs like when you mentioned teaspoons I relate so much 😩

[@Murrrrrrp]

You’re such a beautiful soul. So open and real, even in the midst of the low times. People need to see you and your struggle/Journey. And you’re so fucking brave to be able to put this out into the world. Without fear, there can be no courage. And you are the most courageous person I’ve see. I feel such a strange connection to you...probably because I see myself in you and I just want to cover you with some kind of magical cloak and take all of the pain and worries away. But since I don’t own a magical cloak, know that I’m here for you if you ever need to talk. I mean that girl. I’m so proud of you. XxX

[@helloblub5857]

This is the first video of yours that i have watched but i love the fact that you show your scars ❤ stay strong

[@courtneymccabe1942]

Watching this has made me realise a lot of my own symptoms when I’m feeling ill, I’m so grateful for your videos

[@polly6558]

just what i needed. you'll get through the dark times, i promise. love you millions x

[@MissZoiieL1990]

I've suffered from mental health problems for 17 years and honestly watching your videos Marie breaks my heart. But youre not alone, remember that. You're beautiful and please stay strong

[@chlo33e]

thank you so much for uploading this, can't imagine it was easy to watch through them but this will help so many people look out for their friends + family. love u so much, proud of your progress

[@ellarutherford2936]

So so proud of you I can’t even explain. You’re the most inspirational person I know. Keep fighting, you’ll get there in the end xx

[@marieroseeee]

Omg Ella Thankyou so much, you’re so kind. Honestly I’m just taking everything day by day ❤️

[@ellarutherford2936]

marieroseeee take as much time as you need, focus on yourself and make sure you keep fighting xx

[@holistic_meg_]

Can I just say I think you are a HUGE inspiration and to share this about yourself online is SUCH a brave thing to do your going to go so far in life you little sweetheart! I think your unbelievably strong there is nothing harder than watching your I’ll self back I can completely relate x

[@graciej2939]

You have helped me so much! I still occasionally self harm but I have nearly stopped and it is mainly down to your videos. Thank you sooo much💛💛

[@lydiegraham2063]

So proud of you working to get better for you, love you lots Marie! x

[@lauraogden1658]

Honestly, I'm so pleased to see how much you've improved in such a short space of time. Hope things continue to get better bc you deserve everything to be good. You're so strong 💕

[@ainedolley5438]

You're so incredibly beautiful, strong and inspiring gal! I love you so much ❤❤❤

[@ayybibi]

the most courageous 💓 i remember when all these videos were uploaded, wish you could come back for just one more day. rest your sweet soul now.

[@kacy-mariesutton4994]

i look for signs all the time. i tend to do how you do it, searching for meaning where there is none. really weird. i suppose it's our brains trying to control something, like "oh if I get the Good Spoon" it means a good day and then cheating a little to get the good Spoon..... all silly really but it just seems to matter SO MUCH. also, glad to see you're thinking a bit more clearly, i can tell you're getting back to yourself again and it's lovely :)

[@sheriffofemotown2679]

Ive been watching your videos for a while now and you have really helped me. Mental health services in my area are really bad and for years I've been told it's just hormones but I knew there had to be something wrong so I kept pushing and I've recently been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. Although I was expecting it it's also really hard to accept but I hope I do get better . I'm 2 weeks clean from self harm and I've been doing it for almost 4 years now . I really hope to stay clean

[@lonefaolan6042]

No need to apologize. Your past videos are real. It takes a very strong person to be so transparent and genuine about how it really is at times. Thank you for sharing. You are an amazing person.

Literally love you so much. I've had a few breakdowns on here, and I don't think I could bear to look back! But you inspire me 💗

[@anniemaee782]

So so gorgeous and inspirational. I hope your doing better. I love you and I can’t thank you enough for your help! You are beautiful, and remember. You got this gurl!!! ♥️ xxx

[@marieroseeee]

Thankyou so much gal!! I love you! 💕

[@bethfisher9249]

You are actually incredible!! I’m so proud of you Marie and you should be so proud of yourself. Sending so much love, keep being amazing❤️x

[@Vardagsvegan1]

I LOVE how calm you are. You SCREAM calm in such another way. THANK you for inspiring me.

[@krystarenae2534]

You’re such a strong and beautiful woman. Sending love your way!! x

[@daynajadex4993]

You really inspire the shit outta me❤️Stuggling a lot rn and you give me hope and courage to carry on xx💕

[@rachaelkelleher4817]

I love your honesty in your videos about your mental health, it's so helpful to see that it's okay to be struggling and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Wishing you all the best💗xx

[@hxpnxs]

Love u Marie ❤ this must have been really really hard. I'm glad you are recovering.

[@marieroseeee]

Thanks Emily! ❤️

[@Akanchwua]

I have to say I disagree Marie, the video at 12:45 really helped me and made me realise that I wasn't alone in feeling that way xxx

[@sophie-lu4fs]

Marie I'm bi and I have been struggling a lot with mental health issues and stuff and you and pip have helped me through a lot

[@sophie-lu4fs]

Omg she noticed me I'm screaming

[@MissZoiieL1990]

Be proud of who you are ❤

[@stephanielimb1327]

Love that you managed to re-watch those videos, it must have been so challenging for you. I have so much respect!! Sending love and positivity 💕

[@krystarenae2534]

Love you Marie. Hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself xx

[@sinner7788]

respect. respect. respect.

[@evecoates3261]

It’s scary to think how during this time you couldn’t notice how poorly you were getting but everyone around you could. It’s important for people to point out warning signs in a nice way because sometimes you just can’t notice it yourself x

[@bubbles1310]

So happy to see another video ! I am sure it’s gonna be amazing ! You’re literally inspirational !!! You help me so so so much !!! Love you ❤️

[@alexcastle7031]

U inspire my sister sooo much! It’s makes me so happy of how much a positive impact u make on her! Sending lots of love and support ur way♥️♥️♥️

[@l.7624]

Honestly watching this is like watching me... particularly that video where you said you don’t know who you are. I literally recorded myself saying the exact same thing the other day. You’re so brave for posting this. All my love x x x

[@hannahlouise9289]

You're such a beautiful soul. I remember finding the 'I hate my mind' video hard to watch as I can relate a lot. We went into Crisis in the same month so could relate. Hope you're continuing to look after yourself. Sending love and light. X

[@tiffanyfinch1816]

you’re amazing marie, stay strong❤️x

[@karyscrook8667]

This has been really helpful for me to see because sometimes I look back on posts on Fb and Instagram also diary’s I have written years ago ,I didn’t really do You tube videos but I struggle to understand what the hell I was thinking what I was like. Going through a relapse just now not sure why I can relate so much but I think it’s helpful to see you put past breakdowns in context of where you are now ! 💜

[@JohnnyDeppforlifee]

When you posted that video *breakdown video* i instantly knew something was up..it was sad to watch, i felt like i wanted to help you so much! Im glad your feeling a bit better now (saw your recent vid). Stay well,stay happy, life is truly a awesome gift!

[@GrainneSimpson]

this must have been so hard to film, so happy to see you doing better now. thank you for being so honest 💖

[@Msalex1933]

Really good to see you doing better! I remember during that whole period knowing by your posts on social media that something was seriously not good, and trying to say supportive things as crazy as that might sound lol

[@aaliy0h]

you are so strong💓💓love u!!

[@kirstyroberts4530]

The teaspoon thing is similar to things I do and I have OCD ❤

[@lost-tears25]

Kirsty Roberts same

[@sarahjo5570]

This is like scary to watch. I have issues with depersonalization too where like I can see pictures or videos of me and not remember taking them or being like "yo that isn't me" but it's like a video that I took by myself on my phone that was never posted anywhere so it's obviously me just me in a different mind state and it's some serious fuckery. I do hope you're still working on you and feeling better (also throwback to the one title, I finally convinced my psych to get me off venlafaxine because it's been fucking me up BIG TIME so I feel ya there boo)

[@jessieburman8595]

I love you lots and I hope things are starting to look up - and if they’re not please don’t worry because they will eventually, as you know it won’t be easy but I know you can do it. I love you lots ❤️❤️

[@bgshacks8997]

Despite all you have gone through, we are all here for you and we all want the best for you, life is not always straight forward and watching videos back of a time you weren’t yourself is difficult but you should be proud you’ve done it. I’m so proud of you, you’ve got this ❤️

[@user-zw6kq7ov5q]

Your makeup is lovely I hope you are doing better and looking after yourself wish you all the best x

[@rebeccabarrett9552]

I love you endlessly, I'm so proud, keep going xx

[@marieroseeee]

I love you 🥰🥰

[@fimshng9860]

her: I impulsively got a tattoo which is a warning sign- me, looking down at the stick and poke I just gave myself: oh

[@rubybond7888]

we could all see it but you had to relise for yourself but its so amazing to see the changes you have made and how you are now you look so much better and you are learning from your experience which is the best thing to do cause you can't change it only learn ! how is the moon and sun thing in your room coming along xxxx

[@millienewman136]

so proud of you for this x

[@TheNaprika]

May be don't be so hard on yourself? I think showing yourself in your darkest moments helps others to know what signs to look out for in themselves. But also that others can empathise or understand for friends and relatives of those with mental illness too. I have made videos where I don't talk about myself mental health wise, but you can clearly see that something was up. I find them hard to watch and I think I've taken them down. You help so many and your vids go some way into reducing the stigma.

[@ellalouise6280]

I look for signs too when I’m ill! I thought it was just me lol. Thankyou so much for sharing the difficult times, I have so many embarrassing memories from being ill and it’s so good to know I’m not alone xx

[@viivipaananen8451]

Im so happy your feeling better Marie!❤️ just dont be so hard on yourself cause honestly Marie, you are perfect.👌❤️

[@lauracasiglia9093]

love your eyeshadow! youre so pretty x

[@nannahmadisonyeboah4242]

I hope you’re taking care of yourself ❤️

[@Kieraarae]

I'm glad you felt strong enough to look back at those videos

[@marissarenee4123]

I have been struggling lately. Love seeing your videos! XOXO🖤

[@marieroseeee]

Thankyou marissa ❤️ sending all my love to you xxxxx

[@httsnickkky]

I love your videos! I have depression and anxiety-i have had clinical depression for 4 years now, i take medication and go to therapy etc. Your videos make me feel like we are in this together! Thank you❣❣

[@justwatching1070]

You look so skinny at the moment please try take care of yourself,I love your Chanel so much it has helped me in so many ways 💜

[@troyesivanstan2525]

Just Watching Maybe she cant control it have u ever thought of that? Some people cant hold weight

[@gracie6679]

@@troyesivanstan2525 They're just trying to watch out for Marie. Don't be rude.

[@krillrule99]

I don’t think comments on her weight are rly helpful at all

[@troyesivanstan2525]

I dont know why her weight matters only if they help her feel better then thats what you should say

[@justwatching1070]

I am a recovered from anorexia and bulimia,I understand how hard it is to put on weight but she was saying about feeling really fain and other major signs of under eating, just trying to look out for her and help her get better 😊

[@kimdevries6544]

I am so proud of you, I love you ❤️ stay strong girl!

[@nadiaconnolly7783]

You are so stunning Marie inside and out hope ur ok gal ♥

[@FruitandFaith]

You’re such an inspiration❤️❤️

[@loveaims]

marie i love you with my whole heart. watching this has brightened my day even if it wasn’t meant to be the happiest video. but the video of the snail made me laugh so much omg. keep going marie, you’re gonna get there, i love you♥️

[@danyelPitmon]

I can see how embarrassing those videos could be understand what happened but I’m glad you’re better now and continuing to get help sometimes it’s hard to see when you’re starting to fall apart others do and I agree rely on the people that know you boast for help

[@mentalcat9529]

Yes when I had my psychotic episode, the first sign was that I found meaning in everything. I remember for example that I saw a lot of ambulances passing and I gave a weird meaning to that. When I was in the hospital watching TV I thought the TV was sending messages for me....

[@chi6801]

Love you Marie, your videos really help me xxx

[@nicholascaley501]

Well done for being brave to go over your past. .. it cant have been easy.. Please keep going.. do not retract video cos People need to see it was what it was and is what it is.. you are an encouragement to many Sweety.. Blessings

[@lost-tears25]

OMG I relate to your #1 sign (looking at/for signs) soo much, especially rn 😩... like in my head even your explanation for why you looked at the teaspoons makes some sense to me in a way (IDK if that is my OCD talking or not). 🤷🏻‍♀️ Anyway, sending love Marie 💕🌷💕

[@melenniejayne9118]

Biggest inspiration💓 thinking of you

[@imid3440]

Love you Marie, this was very brave to do and I hope you realise how important it is to recognise growth 🙌

[@marieroseeee]

Yes completely, growth is so important ❤️

[@sarahsluymers3674]

Your make up and hair looks sooo good your so beautyfull i really hope its getting beter now xx

[@annareidy6301]

I love you you’re so so brave💗

[@shannonjo2613]

Hope you’re doing much better now. I love you lots. Please take care and look after yourself xxxx