Reading the essay that got me into an Ivy League!

[@marlouse5637]

I always find it s hard to pay attention to college essays esp when they're being read to me on youtube but your animations made everything so much better and made me rlly appreciate it! It was rlly good too!

[@ValerieAndi]

Aw I'm so glad that means a lot :))

[@ValerieAndi]

@@electwriting2193 Just for clarification, I have never used nor do I endorse this service. Also- write your essays yourself guys.

[@allenrubin7390]

damn that's such a good essay. be a shame if someone plagiarised it

[@itsjae9]

NAHHHH YOU WILD 😭

[@chaeryeongggg3078]

NAHH u did not😭😭

[@ICYHope]

OHH MAAAAWW GAAWWDDD

[@soyin1832]

lol

[@soyin1832]

@@chaeryeongggg3078 girl period I love ITZY just as much as I love chaeryeong saying “~ITZAAAAAYYYY”

[@user-zo3ty8gi9x]

i always find it so interesting learning about the American university admissions system. i really loved this video. in the UK, we write one essay that’s called a personal statement and it’s centred entirely around the subject you want to study. you talk about why it interests you and what you’ve done to learn more about it. i think i wrote one sentence about what i’ve done outside of my studies. i gotta say i prefer the UK version 😂. congrats on upenn!!

[@ValerieAndi]

Thanks!! That's definitely super different- can't say which I prefer!

[@nbaskillz]

That sounds shit tbh

[@elj1454]

Currently working on applications in both the UK and US. I found the UK personal statement really straightforward and easy to write and am now struggling with the US essays that are a lot more personal (haha ironic)

[@titler3140]

@@elj1454 If you're an international student, the UK PS is gold as most of us find it harder to talk about ourselves in a vulnerable sense which the US essays require.

[@elj1454]

@@titler3140 I’m from the US but definitely agree with what you said. Maybe I should go to the UK haha

[@emilyan7171]

This was beautiful. Like the definition of beautiful. One of the only essays that captured me with every single word!! I mean, not to mention that you are also so beautiful too

[@ValerieAndi]

ohmygosh you are way too kind

[@jwkuy]

i genuinely think this video is a sign to me that i should stop carrying so much stress on myself, due to school. i’ve recently been struggling a lot with the balance between personal life and academics, and so when i heard what you wrote, not only did i think it was beautiful, i took it as a sign; a sign that i should allow myself to freely breathe in the environment i crave the most, which is feeling care-free. thank you, i will cherish this video forever.

[@sukiibukiii2289]

This is the most humble brag essay and I respect you for it.

[@JustAnotherLokiStan]

This is one of the best essays I've come across on KZbin. It doesn't feel forced unlike a lot of essays I've read (especially because most applicants try to use as many big and impressive words and meaningless metaphors as they can, most of which don't even fit the context) and your self expression skills are amazing. ❤️

[@daniaflores8013]

2 years later, as im sitting on my bed at 11pm at night w my computer as a 10th grader freaking out about what i have to do to get into the college of my dreams, this video is such a huge relief. Your essay is so beautiful and felt so heartwarming and intimate in such an effortless and undaunting way. this single video has given me sm hope! thank you so much for being kind and brave enough to share, valerie! you're so gorgeous too and intelligent and so good with conveying your emotions. Thank you!

[@mymind9514]

This was such a sweet refreshing essay, I love how you put in your extracurriculars, grades, and interest in such a subtle and cute way.

[@bobbyswanson3498]

I love how you took it in so many different directions but blended them all really well

[@jeff-dg7km]

i loved everything about this video!!! the doodles were such a nice touch - thank you for taking the time out of your day to add those & to share your essay :’)

[@at_mikhael2955]

I really love the end of your essay... "Rather than trying to fit 30 hours into a day..."! All I could say was "Wow!". It has prompted me to think deeply and forge my essay with simple, but meaningful words and experiences. Thank you!

[@wellnessbylauren3767]

That was really good! I just finished my college essay and while I'm applying to ivy leagues, I will likely enjoy myself more at a school closer to home. Thanks for sharing!

[@chloeinocencio3745]

I CRIED WHAT DO YOU MEAN “UNDERWHELMING” I RELATED SO MUCH🤍🤍

[@Elletanvilla]

That was such a heartwarming essay, it was so simple yet so genuine and extremely comforting to hear from a successful student as someone who also doesn’t agree with the hustle culture of today :)))

[@emilyan7171]

I really wish more people would see this. Not only because it's an amazing college essay, but also because it's such an important lesson and all the videos, pictures, and doodles make it even better

[@Claire-tf8zh]

Ok I do debate and I literally would not be able to debate against this girl bc her voice is so soothing

[@ValerieAndi]

p.s. if you're reading this & want last-minute help editing essays email [e-mail] and I'll try my best to help!

[@saraa964]

@Hung-Ying (Laura) Lee ikrr 😭

[@emilygu9814]

the animations are insaneee🤯🤯💖💞💘

[@uladzimirc5672]

This essay was truly mesmerizing! It gave me a whole bouquet of pleasant feelings that are ardently burning in my head. These five minutes of your reading had sparked my imagination. My level creativeness had instantaneously elevated so that for a short period of time it prevailed my critical self-perception as a little stubborn person who sometimes seems to be incapable of performing any kind of artworks. I am very proud of you that you have committed to University of Pennsylvania and other highly-selective schools with the help of this diligently written essay. Have a wonderful career in the school of my dream! Sincerely. Uladzimir Charniauski

[@msnatalieho]

I j finished writing my essay but I’ve read it so many times that I feel numb to it...how do I know if the essay is good? Thx for the video !!

[@ValerieAndi]

Great question! I'd say have someone else read it- it doesn't even have to be a college counselor or anything like that. Just have someone look it over and let you know what their takeaways are from it/ to confirm that everything flows and makes sense. It always helps to have a fresh set of eyes :)

[@alanz.5255]

5:00 "I'm sorry if that was a little underwhelming..." That was overwhelmingly good if not anything :) **edit** NGL this has actually become a go-to place for inspiration every time I'm stuck with writing my essays

[@bethanytong2338]

heyy! if you're interested, my friends and i started a company called collegae (collegae.weebly.com) that provides affordable college counseling where you can speak to a collegian from schools (we have stanford, uc berkeley, harvard, upenn, princeton, and so much more) for just $20/ half hour! they can answer questions like what their essay was on, how they got in, their stats, extracurriculars, campus life/culture, and so much more! hope this helps:)

[@Claire-tf8zh]

I'd love to see some supplemental essays too!

[@SS-tq2dp]

That... was so amazing. The best essay I've listened to/read (haha thanks for the subtitles and the illustrations! They made it so much more easier for me to follow along with lol) on youtube and trust me when I say I've read so many. The way you wove in factual and emotional details into the essay without making it overly sappy or looking like you were trying too hard to resonate with the reader was what I appreciated the most about it! It was simplicity at it best, and it really stood out among all of the others I watched so far, lol. I would really love a video about your Penn supplements! That would be even more helpful since I plan on applying to Penn as well! Thanks for this!

[@hachiresendiz2740]

This was really good! You should share your Penn specific essays: )

[@goddessdaniela4074]

THIS IS SO GOOD WOW. Can you like publish a book?

[@ValerieAndi]

omg thank youu

[@alexandrakek9835]

I've literally completed every single portion of my applications except the essay because I had no idea where to start. I guess it was fate that I came across your video; I'm so inspired by you!

[@aneesai241]

ahh samee!! good luck with your app processs!

[@alexandrakek9835]

@@aneesai241 Good luck with your as well! :)

[@AM-id5ry]

Your essay mentioned a good number of awards and extracurriculars but do you think a personal statement can be just as effective without mentioning academics or honors in any way?

[@loveyalotz]

Yes!!! Check out “Essays that worked” Hamilton college. One kid wrote about Cicadas 😮🎉

[@dmh8002]

There was nothing underwhelming about your essay! It was superb! Thank you for your courage to post this video. Well done!

[@bookwyrm8181]

oooh that last line though! so good!

[@Aditya-vz9mg]

What a powerful personal statement. 😳Now I'm unsatisfied with what I've created... thank you for sharing! I've got edits to make lol.

[@ss-kw1kk]

girl this used to be me. im telling you right now you need to quit the majority of your commitments and just enjoy life, watch TV, drive around aimlessly, sit with friends. life is not about achievement and business, its about making your soul happy

[@thatdancervicki]

Hey! I was just wondering what common app prompt you had chosen. It's funny because I was thinking about writing about the struggle of time as well, but you made it sound so much better lol

[@victoriacorcimaru1731]

This was so brave!!! Thank you so much!) Your effort made huge impact

[@hiyapatel8547]

OK but i vibe w ur personality so much

[@stailaagarwal8297]

that is something really refreshing!!!!! you did an awesome job Valerie, this essay can actually shift perspectives. beautiful:))

[@PhoenixDaniel_]

This was one of the best essays that I've heard during my time looking at college admission advice! I'm a junior and will be applying to Upenn next year and have an idea for my essay. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful masterpiece! :)

[@beebsage6498]

u wrote this 11 months ago, how’s it going? I really want an update !

[@massielvictoria3604]

@@beebsage6498 Me too!

[@Moonlit._]

Samee I want an update too!!

[@alindamartha4991]

wow...I had no idea that an essay could be so simple yet toughing

[@nadiahalim06]

That's an amazing essay! Subtle hints to all your extracurriculars, but to me, it kind of sounded like a storytime yt video, which I'm sure the college admissions officer appreciated

[@angelinamo482]

thank you so much for sharing! the quality of this video is amazing :))

[@abiakinyele]

i watched the whole thing... this ate! you deserve all of your admissions. i can relate sm to the trying to fit 30 hours into a day 😭

[@oleanapark373]

your essay is soooo amazing and the editing was so cool omg tysm for taking the time to do that

[@harpermartin7813]

Jesus is King! If you do not know Jesus as Savior please pray, “ Jesus save me. At this moment I choose to have faith that You gave Your life for me and rose from the dead. Doing this You defeated death, even though it meant You had to die. You surrendered Your life for me, so I chose to surrender my life to You. Forgive me Jesus, my God. Amen.” Jesus loves you so much. Please accept His love. I encourage you to read the Bible and pray. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten Son into this world, that whoever believes that in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 🙏❤️🙏 Jesus is enough! Again I tell you, Jesus loves you!

[@isabellajeremar5948]

Such an amazing and moving essay! I love how it shows your ambitions and your great ability to reflect on your life and the small and big moments of it! Those qualities are far more attractive and weigh more for who your are going to be and what you are going to make out of your years at college, uni and after your studies than trophies and scores will. And it seems like someone at UPenn thought the same 😉, even though I know your amazing achievements also played a big role ❤

[@fhjss-ne8zy]

This literally the best college essay and essay reading video i've ever seen

[@gloriaiuc]

Wow ur essay flows so well n actually makes sense! I'm still tryna make mine coherent haha

[@isa.oli28]

I really needed to see this. The daunting college essay confused me sm but this was great and i feel i can do this with more confidence

[@benhongoie1622]

Amazing essay - nice and simple. And brings out your personality perfectly!

[@AMFahad-xe6vc]

I've watched so many essays on youtube this week, and I have to say that yours felt the most honest, original, and heartfelt. You did not throw in difficult words here and there (not that it's a bad thing), your emotions didn't feel forced, and it was like reading a piece from someone's journal that they wrote into before sleeping after a long week. Thank you for sharing this with us! I'm going to apply to colleges this year and I'm really stressed about it. Your essay reminded me that I really need to appreciate the good things I have in life in between all the hustle :)

[@orangemonks894]

Rather than trying to fit 30 hours into a day, I will fully appreciate the 24 hours that I have. Get that on a motherflippin tshirt

[@kaitlyng7850]

I don't know if you'll see this, but I am currently writing my essay and I want to know how many paragraphs should the essay be? My friend said to split up my writing into paragraphs but right now I have it just one big paragraph that tells a story. Does it matter if it's split up or as long as it tells a story it's ok? Thanks! Btw your essay was amazing and I really enjoyed it!

[@ValerieAndi]

I'd definitely say to split it into paragraphs if you're talking about the common app essay. To have 650 words all in one paragraph would be harder to read! Even if you're telling a story, split it into different chunks. I'll talk more about organization in my upcoming video so stay tuned ;)

[@Candy_XP]

"Woah" is the only emotion I can muster up. This essay dealt with a perfect balance which, of course, lead you to a well-deserved admission to UPenn!! Good job, girl!!

[@michaellau2280]

Awesome vid! Which prompt was this essay for?

[@ValerieAndi]

I ended up using the open prompt on the Common App, but it could've probably also fit the "event or realization that sparked a period of personal growth" one

[@Blueian742]

Great essay loved your diction and the editing made listening to someone reading their essay a lot more engaging. I’m feeling inspired so I’m gonna write an essay about a personal interest of mine. Good luck those of y’all applying to colleges. Let’s make it happen! 💪

[@emilyli4849]

this was so good and calming! And i spotted conan gray haha

[@ValerieAndi]

YES I'm so glad I got to go to a concert before everything was locked down

[@alexrussell8358]

this is so authentic and relatable! definitely one of the best essays that i saw on yt! yes i have watched this for three times

[@epham5]

GIRL OMG I KNEW YOU LOOKED SOOOOO FAMILIAR!!! you went to my school ahhhhhhh! i'd recognize those RM gyms anywhere :)

[@Claire-tf8zh]

Lol sophomore yr was the empty yr for me. I was just so dead inside it took 4 weeks being stuck in bed with pneumonia to wake me up. I was miserable but this past yr has been the happiest one since I entered middle school!

[@ValerieAndi]

Aw I'm so glad to hear things got better :))

[@lindss220]

Hi! Who did you have revise your essay?? I’m having trouble deciding on who to ask.

[@monval37]

the final sentence was just !!! like omg that really brought it home

[@finaya]

This was such a good essay! Great job

[@B_Bunny_]

“I’m sorry if that was a bit underwhelming” oof cmon man don’t play with us crackheads like that ;-;

[@kaylenpak6182]

awww nice essay! and wow the animated montage narrative was really great!! go go val!!

[@kayabread1234]

such pretty edits!

[@niktag9339]

Hi Valerie!thank you so much for the video, I am currently writing my essay for Cuny and I was wondering about the world limit you chose for this essay. Thank you!

[@xxvoid4]

Meanwhile my essay will be about my SA and being in and out of metal hospitals

[@savannahscott90]

For anyone who’s feeling down: Romans 8:18 “The pain you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the joy that is coming!” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Whatever is going on right now, have faith, your situation will get better. :) Jesus bless anyone reading this and have a great day!!🥰✨💖

[@aliruizvazquez7189]

why did you wanted to go to an Ivy League?

[@shabbyfoofooyay1929]

this is a fantastic common app essay !! just from this video i can tell that you are sweet and hard working :) thank you for sharing this

[@ditatshiany8818]

Wow im 12 years old and I keep looking at videos like these for no reason, I find them super inspiring !!

[@milkbeforecereal8964]

we love u!!!

[@anuminocha3382]

Do you read essays and give feedback? Thanks!

[@coeurwny]

it's actually so beauty, i'd read it if it was a book omg!⭐🤩

[@anurupasaha8051]

that was so beautiful thanks for sharing xx

[@2dmensslut248]

Your essay just made me insecure lol .

[@harpermartin7813]

That was amazing!

[@rashibheda6393]

About ehat topic should we write essay..? Ourself ?

[@inessamkhitaryan9130]

It's not even upenn,it's the essay.So much thankful for this.I needed to hear that!

[@neilaeaddy]

this is beautiful

[@mary-katespear562]

Pleease read your Wharton supplements!

[@mbawemeliwakala6772]

Bro I done fucked up my first essay. 😭

[@yolo.kay4191]

Did u get accepted??

[@caroletuong]

Oh i love this, thank you for giving such helpful reference!

[@Mary-kw3jx]

Who taught you how to write so beautifully 🥹 please teach me hehe

[@rathoreaparna]

Is it only or anyone else thinks that she look's similar to ITZY'S chaeryoung

[@chukwudinmaobi4647]

Hi, I was wondering if there's any website or forum where peopke can read my application essays and give feedback

[@jadynkufera955]

Unrelated but WHERE DID U GET UR SWEATER??? I have the same one & I got it from my aunt's old stuff so I'm curious if u thrifted urs or something

[@niktag9339]

Hi Valerie!thank you so much for the video, I am currently writing my essay for Cuny and I was wondering about the world limit you chose for this essay. Thank you!

[@varshapatibandla485]

Thanks for sharing!

[@tarimarvelfan2767]

I know i'm 14, but i want to have ideas at least.

[@davismiles2765]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bIG1e3t4o9aqnM0

[@TheXaminedLife]

Good essay. Creative editing. Very expressive reading. Well done. Blessings. Be safe. Be well. May all your ups and downs have only soft landings. ☮🕊☯💙💛💙💛💙💛🙏4 Ukraine.

[@karinakashkareva2911]

Is that a personal statement?

[@ariadnacinco6514]

Thank you so much for this!!!! I love it so so so much, thank you for sharing and CONGRATSSSSS

[@harpermartin7813]

Jesus is King! If you do not know Jesus as Savior please pray, “ Jesus save me. At this moment I choose to have faith that You gave Your life for me and rose from the dead. Doing this You defeated death, even though it meant You had to die. You surrendered Your life for me, so I chose to surrender my life to You. Forgive me Jesus, my God. Amen.” Jesus loves you so much. Please accept His love. I encourage you to read the Bible and pray. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten Son into this world, that whoever believes that in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 🙏❤️🙏 Jesus is enough! Again I tell you, Jesus loves you!

[@yay7673]

Amen to that!❤️✝️❤️

[@kinshooksfraand7921]

Hey, is it ok to write a essay on mental health?

[@jinnyyy20]

Yes but you will wanna make sure that it's not a victim card, pity story kind of essay. A lot of times students tend to make themselves sound like the victim and spend the entire essay lisiting out and complaining about all the bad things that happened to them. NO. If you wanna write about mental health, make sure that it shows you overcoming a challenge and that it shows your growth throughout a journey / process. That being said, there are other objectively better things to talk about instead of mental health which is something pretty common among teenageers. some essay brainstorming questions : What do your friends like about you? What is the best advice you’ve ever received? What is the best advice you’ve ever given? What is the most meaningful gift you have received? What is the most meaningful gift you have given? What are your greatest strengths? What are your weaknesses? Have you overcome any weaknesses lately? What is the biggest thing you persevered through? What keeps you up at night? What experiences have pushed you out of your comfort zone? What lengths have you gone to learn about something you’re interested in? What is the biggest turning point in your life? What obstacles are you proud of overcoming? What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? What activity do you truly feel passionate about? Why does it matter to you? What comes easily to you? What doesn’t come easily for you? Why? What is your favorite place in your hometown? How do you define “home”? What or who shaped your personality most? What do you admire most about your favorite tv show character? How have you changed in the past year? If you could dive headfirst into any book or movie, which book and why? What would be your favorite thing about you if you met yourself for the first time? Is there something you’ve experienced that changed you forever in a positive way? How did this event make you stronger, more mature, more self-aware, or more determined? All the best :)

[@jamien.5528]

@@jinnyyy20 thank you! This helped so much!!

[@RoonGM]

Hey so I have a free write tomorrow and IDK WHAT TI WRITE ABOUT. let me know down in the comments cause Idk what to write about

[@jashshah1308]

YOUR NARRATION SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET.

[@yirouchin0114]

Wow, I felt that writing an essay isn't as tough as the Costco essay (that level is too high for me) thanks~

[@loveyalotz]

Omg great essay that inspires mine.

[@nickscrazyexperience3182]

You go gurl!

[@gabi3742]

unrelated but girl you're so pretty?? i love your hair!