Things I've wanted to say

[@blacksheep1235]

cringe

[@Roanokem]

You could just leave the video then she mentioned.

[@wintertimberwolf6963]

@@Roanokem No joke right. FFS

[@Zaneexists]

:(

[@andysixxstalkerangeloftrag5833]

You dont have to announce yourself, but at least you're self aware.

[@jennyspicer6900]

Let's hope u never go through this and have ur entire soul ripped out 😒 I've only just found you're channel and I love it, real talk and you're raw , stay strong beautiful lady 💕💕💕💕 healing love and strength sent ❤

[@ccap3211]

I had no idea you lost your husband. That’s my literal worst fear. I’m so sorry. You’re so strong.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

Mine, too. He's my rock.

[@infinitemidnightghostmourner]

Mine also. I can't even describe the fear.

[@bioshawna]

This is also my worst fear. He's been with me through thick and thin for 16 years although we aren't married. I love him so much. I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

I just lost mine after 32 years together. It's a kind of pain that is all-encompassing. There's no way to describe it.

[@Superdudehatesmilk]

​​@@BCFBreakfastClubFanoh I am SO sorry. Edit: that didn't sound nearly as emphatic and empathetic as I meant for it too. I am genuinely so incredibly sorry for your loss.

[@katt4212]

“what is grief if not love persevering” take all the time you need, you are loved by many

[@basic_CeceRae]

🥹 this

[@loozziee]

Vision ❤

[@mbb-gl7tv]

That is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. Prayers for all involved!

[@belindarocky961]

"I'm 29, I should know who I am". Don't be hard on yourself, getting to know ourselves is a constant evolution 💕✨️

[@Lionesse-z41553]

SO true!

[@weirdgirl4611]

Because we evolve constantly.❤️

[@maijacriner-harrison5161]

​@@weirdgirl4611lol

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

I'm 49, and still trying to figure it out. We are always a work in progress.

[@TreesNotBeach]

31 years old, and I just NOW am starting to slowly figure myself out. And I know I'll probably never know who I am. It's a ongoing process. You will figure out and lose it, figure out and lose another part of yourself. You're awesome, you're strong and being vulnerable is a very, very amazing thing. ❤

[@SakuraAsranArt]

To the person who doxxed Glare, may you suffer from a constant itch in that one part of your back you can't reach, may your toast always land buttered side down, may every piece of paper you encounter give you paper cuts, may you always get the trainee nurse every time you need blood taken, may your pizzas always be delivered lukewarm, may every cat in your neighbourhood piss on your doorstep and every dog shit on your lawn and may every misery you have inflicted on others be visited back on you.

[@Bobbymaccys]

And your belt get caught on every door handle

[@x_void_princess_x]

And both sides of your pillow being hot af same with the rest of your bed

[@TheStarCrow99]

And every Lego you encounter be miraculously, stepped on.

[@ainsleighgibbs2975]

And everytime you ride a bike I hope a stick gets stuck in the wheels.

[@madmouse1016]

*And may all your bacon burn*

[@seven0019]

This version of you is loved, Guilia. As a fellow 29 year old who’s been on a path to rediscovering themselves. I appreciate your vulnerability and strength in sharing this. You’re one tough chick and I’m thankful you’re here. 🖤

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

this is a very sweet comment.

[@c.t.651]

Agreed❤

[@hwoods-kg1jf]

I was gonna comment the same thing! Guilia is so strong and brave! My heart breaks for her! I've almost lost my man 4 times in the 13 years we've been together and it traumatized me to my core :( I feel so blessed he's still alive but his health isn't good :( He's 50 and I just turned 40 on the 5th and I'm always afraid of losing him again. I also have a lot of health issues of my own and sometimes I'm afraid I'll go before him....

[@aipaloovik]

As an Eskimo, let me share this proverb, "Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy."

[@shaderasbora1033]

That is absolutely beautiful

[@Honey_Daddy]

I wish I could believe something that lovely.

[@apriljk6557]

​@@Honey_Daddy you can, you don't have to take it literally. You can remember the happiness your loved ones made you feel when you see the stars.

[@Honey_Daddy]

@@apriljk6557 it'd be more comforting if I just believed it literally, but I take your point and appreciate the sentiment of it.

[@kaii6216]

this Proverb made me cry...

[@emo_penguin420]

I lost my partner in 2011 and it was one of the hardest things I've lived through. Sometimes, time doesn't heal all wounds. For me, the grief feels more like a suitcase handcuffed to me. Some days it feels like the suitcase is filled with 20 lb bowling balls and even thinking about getting out of bed is pure exhaustion. Other days, the suitcase feels like there's maybe a few documents and I can get through the day. There are times when the suitcase is empty and I feel guilty so then I'm the one filling it with the bowling balls. It's confusing and it definitely changes you. Guilia, you're a beautiful human with an even more beautiful soul 💕💕 You have an entire loyal community behind you, we want you to be healthy and know you're supported. Don't rush the process, please take all the healing time needed. I hate how unfair sh*t can be; no one deserves to lose their human.

[@READYTOGLARE]

I am so sorry for your loss but I am certain your partner would be so proud of you for uplifting others (me) 💚

[@emo_penguin420]

​@READYTOGLARE much love to you girl 💚

[@fjoppis]

Sorry for your loss

[@natatatm]

wow, this was so beautifully put, i hope anyone struggling through grief sees this.

[@angelsinger4574]

I am so sorry for your loss, and awed by the generosity of your spirit, to share your pain with strangers to help them heal. ((Hugs))

[@Kameab1213]

Losing someone that close to you is a specific kind of pain. No one gets to tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve. For someone to go out of their way to cause you grief and emotional distress during a period of time like this is disgusting.

[@cassieb2813]

Agreed. Absolutely abhorrent.

[@berrysnowyboy5251]

^^^^^^

[@RoFox89]

Genuinely gasped out loud finding out he'd passed, been watching you quite a long time now and I hope you're getting all the love and support you need.

[@user-pn6pg3mx9g]

Same. She mentioned it casually in a more recent video and I was like wait…. What???

[@SandiByrd]

I will be honest - while I have watched you forever I had no idea what was going on and I'm sorry that you lost your partner. Having to deal with doxxing after such a traumatic event is a nightmare I am so so sorry.

[@Michelle-og9tj]

I think that is the best way to keep it. We as an audience shouldn't need to know this part of her life, that is her personal freedom we shouldn't have access to. But 100% agree, this is an absolute nightmare and my heart goes out to her.

[@Beth-t2p]

I lost my old KZbin account and hadn’t seen untill today when I thought I’d check up on her channel, im so heartbroken for her

[@LoveBabyPinky]

I’ll never forget when I reached out to you after my mothers passing. You went out of your way to give me advice and uplift me. Thank you, you are not alone. 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[@Lionesse-z41553]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@tesslott8375]

You are such a beautiful soul. When you first announced your husband’s passing, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I know hearing things like “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, having that happen, etc etc” do nothing to help but god. I’ve been in awe of the strength, grace, and character you possess and show. You seem like you’re someone who would be such a wonderful friend to anyone lucky enough to know you. You deserve SO much love, kindness, and happiness, and I really hope you get it 🖤

[@READYTOGLARE]

Just so you know, your comment got me through the day. (Not that the responsibility is on you but I appreciate it).

[@madamecroco3354]

Usually silent follower here : for what it’s worth, your voice and your videos soothed me during the worst period of my life, calmed me when I used to believe everyone would be better off without me. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but you do matter to me, to us, and to a lot of people. Thank you ❤

[@scarlettredding]

What they said 👆 I was absolutely devastated to hear about Jacob I can't even begin to understand what you're going through 💜 keep doing what's best for you sending love and positive energy

[@MsKrankshaft]

Couldn't say it better than this. You matter. Thank you for existing 🖤

[@Lionesse-z41553]

Well said.

[@ehartley825]

I’m letting @madamecroco3354 speak for me as well here! She perfectly put into words how I have also felt so many times over the years & found a sense of comfort & not feeling so alone for a lil while by u & ur videos ♡

[@Beth-t2p]

Her videos helped me through the worst summer of my life in avery isolating and abusive relationship, she’s truly amazing

[@usagiracha]

When I found out about Jacob I couldn't even imagine you ever talking about it. You're so unbelievably strong for letting us know and, obviously, dealing with all this. A change is a perfect idea. Don't worry about people potentially disliking that change, do it purely for yourself. I just want you to know that no matter the circumstances your're in right now, it will get better eventually. You will heal. 💙

[@juliewinkler9203]

You are not a mess girl, all the tears you shed are very valid, and shows how incredibly much you and Jacob love/loved each other. You are so incredibly strong for staying on this planet, as you put it, despite going through what I am sure has been your worst nightmare!

[@heavens.sprawl]

Haven’t finished the video yet but just wanted to let you know getting a freakin scholarship while things are so hectic and you don’t feel 100% is insane. Don’t brush over that! You’re intelligent af! We are so proud of you for being here. You are so strong. ❤ edit: MAJOR hugs. I’m glad you know you are safe with your neighbors. The universe needs you here for a reason please remember that!

[@sleepingwitharia]

"Re-getting to know myself" is not cringe and really hit home for me. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 16, I'm almost 22, and I see us having a life together in the future. I understand perfectly what you mean: although I'm a very independent person I don't know what I'd do if somehow our life paths separated somewhere down the road. Like it or not, when you've been with someone for a long time and since you were young, you basically grow up together and inevitably develop your adult character around the other person and the life you share together; it can be beautiful but scary at the same time. I'm really sorry you had to go through all of this, some people really don't know when to stop. I'm hoping all of this gets easier for you as time goes on.

[@idiotsandwich4912]

This comment hits close. I’ve been with the same guy since we were 14 and 16. I can’t imagine if our paths for whatever reason went other ways. I don’t know what I’d do. How can the world go on? I don’t even know who I am with him I can’t imagine going at that alone. It’s possible.. but hard. I’m 25 and I haven’t the slightest idea who I am or who I am supposed to be ❤

[@christinathea5737]

Im glad to have approval on this. I thought i was a weak person for having developed that interdependently under similar circumstances

[@benny_boop]

I have also experienced watching the love of my life on a ventilator after performing cpr to try to save them. No one understands the full extent of trauma that can create until they see it for themselves. You have my solidarity.

[@kimberlykees9163]

I’m one of the ones on a vent who got saved even when doctors essentially gave up. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find love again, it’s what the world needs more than anything now.

[@YourWifesBoyfriend]

LOL the love of your life is a "them" LOL

[@maffieduran]

​@@YourWifesBoyfriend??? Psycho

[@maffieduran]

​@@YourWifesBoyfrienddo you even understand basic english?

[@benny_boop]

@@YourWifesBoyfriend Yes. You are a “them” as well. You should probably focus more on learning basic education rather than attempting to, and failing at trolling. Cause you’re bad at it.

[@JGordonAuthor]

I lost my fiancé 15 years ago (i was 19 going on 20); it doesn’t get easier, we learn to coexist with grief, and you will get stronger, it’s an unpredictable process and there’s no rushing it. You are loved, and i am lighting candles for you and him. Glare, love you, you are in my thoughts. I won’t say it’s gonna get better, i will say it gets easier to coexist with it, some days it’s gonna win, most days, you’ll win. 🕯️❤️‍🩹

[@Kelcykels]

I’m in my mid 30’s and starting to feel like I’m really learning who I am. Sorry for your loss, I lost a husband at 30. Therapy is good, hard work, but good work.

[@CanadianWhatever]

I'm so sorry you lost your husband

[@livy_colors]

I've been a silent watcher of yours for many years now. I found out about Jacob through twitter and my heart broke for you and has been broken for you ever since. (To be honest, I cried when I found out because I couldnt even begin to imagine what youre going through) You're so brave for posting this video and I know my words don't mean much, but I am truly sorry. The grief never truly does go away, but it gets easier to live with and you'll be able to think about Jacob and smile instead of cry. Sending you all the love and support.

[@kendrarasberry3078]

I found out through Instagram. I thought I was going to cry.

[@PizzaGeist]

Grief is like food coloring dropped into water. The intensity may change over time, but the water will never be clear again. My heart breaks for you; I am so sorry you are dealing with this both the DM BS and the loss of Jacob. You are so loved.

[@ittybittykittypi6565]

From one grieving PhD student to another, just know that you’re not alone! Both are long, transformative processes that will have plenty of ups and downs, but I have every faith that you’ll get through it. I remember you mentioning in a video that you wanted to do a PhD years ago, and it’s amazing hearing that you’re actually at that point now, in spite of the unimaginable happening in between. Sending so much love and support x

[@LeBasfondMusic]

A usually silent follower, avid watcher here, you are wonderful and you are being so hard on yourself. You are such a brilliant and intelligent person. I think 29 is the worst year for most people, and I couldn't imagine what it is like for you. You are loved. You are amazing. ❤ thank you for everything you do.❤

[@ashleysartattack5600]

I knew you lost him, and I’ve been worried about how you were genuinely doing. Thank you for sharing. I know it’s not any of our business, but we still appreciate it.

[@artaria22]

Doing my PhD program was one of the most challenging things I ever done. I can’t imagine doing that and dealing with grief. Thank you for your vulnerability, I really wish more people would talk about grief. It’s soul crushing and transforming at the same time. But no more words, just hugs.

[@starparodier91]

I have no words. I’ve watched you for years and I didn’t even know he passed. Thank you for being so open and… I honestly don’t know what to say. You’re strong and you’re loved. 🖤

[@palpatine152]

I’ve been watching you since I was 14, and over the last 4 years you have tought me how to deal with emotionally wrecking situations, downfalls, breakdowns, depression and other stuff that may influence you. I’m 18 now and you have played a big role in shaping me to be stronger and not feeling guilt nor embarrrssment to seek help. You are invredibly brave and strong. Thank you 🖤

[@nessaf540]

same here 🙋🏻‍♀️turning 19 soon and her videos have helped me so much 🩷

[@ledasierra4234]

I am a grieving PhD student as well, I lost my grandpa and dad in less than year. I want you to know that grief, although it never ends, morphs throughout time. Its a journey and I am sorry we are on it together, but you are not alone. You are so loved and so strong.

[@missmorticia9224]

It's nobody's business HOW he passed...I hate when anyone asks because its a loss no matter the how. I'm so sorry you lost the love of your life. Wishing you endless strength 🖤

[@corneliakobilke4638]

Of course but people will be curious

[@missmorticia9224]

​@corneliakobilke4638 true but it's rude to ask & clearly they were never taught that.

[@einienj3281]

We are here for you ❤ From a widow to another.. don't try to rush anything. ❤️ I met the love of my life at 16, lost him at 38 to suicide, just turned 42 and I'm still grieving and trying to figure out life..

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

I am so so sorry that you lost your life partner in such a tragic way. Life is so unfair but I’m glad that you’re around to leave a comment here to provide support and love to another person who is feeling what you have felt.

[@einienj3281]

@@ashleyduckworthyt3224 Thank You ❤️

[@Lilmisscostumedrama]

😢❤

[@einienj3281]

@@Lilmisscostumedrama ❤️❤️

[@Enfjscrolling]

I can't imagine. You were with him longer than you were without him. Life must be confusing to navigate without him. I'm sorry he was struggling so much, and I'm sorry you took on that grief. Please keep going, I know it will get better and things always seems to work out last minute. Sending healing wishes to you 🩷

[@ShawnaLynnn]

I’m 43 and I don’t who the fvck I am. I hate you’re going through this. I am glad you spoke on it. I’ve been dealing with grief since May and I just don’t have anymore fight in me. I don’t even have the energy to get out of my own way. I relate to the “fvck around and find out” mentality because I’ve been feeling like “I wish someone would “ and we’ll go down together. I’m sending you a digital hug and support! 🤟🏽 🫂

[@Alikatt9]

Your comment helped me feel so much better as a fellow 40 yr old ❤

[@ShawnaLynnn]

@@Alikatt9 I’m glad hun… be easy on yourself. Lots of people don’t have life figured out… even people who act like they do.

[@rachelosiria7865]

I'm thirty-four and I don't know exactly who I am because it's constantly changing. ❤ I've been dealing with grief heavy, since my brother died last year. Hugs

[@jfinney225]

I’m 36 and still figuring it out too. I don’t think we will ever KNOW who we are bc we are ever evolving and growing. And to the original commenter, I’m so sorry you’re struggling with grief as well. Thinking of you. 🫂

[@ShawnaLynnn]

@@rachelosiria7865 I’m so sorry to read about your loss! 🫂

[@XArc7AngelX]

When you first told everyone about his passing, my heart sank. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you will continue to heal and find hope. ❤️

[@TheVampyreNinja]

I’m 32 years old, and I’m still finding myself. If you have to refind yourself at 29, it is far from cringe. We all have different journeys. And especially after going through such a traumatic event, there is no cringe in that. Discover yourself in your healing journey.

[@MysteryWillow.2013]

Oh babe, I was exactly in your shoes. I lost my husband at the age of 28 and became a widowed mother of two. Our youngest was only 5 months old. I haven't ever related to another person who I don't know personally more than I do you at this time. This month will be ten years since my husband passed away and honestly grieving never stops it stays with you. Especially when there is trauma attached to the death, as it was with my husband's passing. I still deal with PTSD it's better than it was but it likes to pop up in random situations. I don't think I left my house for 6 months.. I couldn't even have a 1st birthday party for our son because I felt guilty. I ended up in the hospital just 7 weeks after he passed (the week of my birthday) I thought I was having a heart attack, found out I had severe cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome is what they called it) Death really f*cks you up but I have healed a lot and it took so much time but I have and it does happen. Also it's no one's business how anyone else passes. I hated when people would ask me that question in public, right in front of our kids. Like bro that's their father chill TF out and stop asking me "are you ok?" I hated that question I genuinely feel for you and am sending my virtual love over to you. I know words don't mean sh*t but you have a who army of people who are behind you. I hope you never forget that ❤️

[@thinlizzy9032]

my heart breaks for you. sending you the biggest virtual hug right now. i can't even begin to imagine that level of heartache from grief that sends you to the hospital. but i'm glad to hear its getting better for you to bear and i hope it continues to get better and you feel peace and warmth in your heart whenever you remember your husband.

[@cerberusmutt4252]

Lost my dad earlier in the year. Grief is a lot. Grief is so much. You're strong, and the love you and Jacob have is still with you. There's no words, but we're supporting you.

[@TiffanyG8675309]

I'm so sorry for your loss.🥺 I lost my grandma and my mama two months apart last year. I'm still not OK and probably won't be for a while. Take all the time you need. ❤

[@anime-dr4kf]

Lost my dad earlier this year as well.

[@lehliladevandria5712]

Omg I started crying watching this. Then further into this video words cannot express just how much of a badass you actually are. You have no idea how much your idgaf personality also helped me through tough times when I initially started watching you years ago. You are stronger than you even know and it shows when you are willing to make yourself vulnerable with your subscribers. Words cannot express just how much you have inspired me over the years. I'm so glad that you realize that you living and triumphing over this is an indication that you are a true goddess!! I mean this with the utmost sincerity and undying respect.

[@READYTOGLARE]

I just wanted you to know I’ve screen shot your comment to read when I feel demoralized. You will be my moonlight on pitch black nights. Thank you.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

😥 That's so beautiful.

[@ritacita]

Gosh Giulia I am so sorry for your loss. I had no idea about Jacob. Please keep taking care of yourself, I am so so proud of you for getting that scholarship. I know I could have never when I lost my family. You are an inspiration and you are stronger than you think. Sending you so much love

[@filthyapostate4217]

How horrifically crass, to ask a grieving widow for intimate details on what's likely the worst day of her life. Anybody who asks that, does not deserve your grace.

[@whiskey_pink_42]

Asserting yourself is not ‘mean’. It’s a very positive and self actualized step. Setting boundaries regarding your partner and your story is a BIG win.

[@vishnya4393]

Getting into a PhD program while having your life uprooted in the way it had is absolutely astonishing to me. I wish I had a more appropriate way of expressing this, but you are simply amazing. Grief is not a linear journey, but I hope you find some kind of peace in it soon. Wherever life leads you, career wise and elsewhere, they'll be blessed in having you in their company 🙏 I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.

[@poodlelova]

Thank you for being vulnerable with us! We love you!!! ❤❤❤

[@cassjones9125]

You've been one of my favorite people on KZbin for years and as silly as it may sound I cried when you posted you lost Jacob. I'm so glad you stayed on this platform and continue to make videos, most of all I'm glad you're doing okay

[@AngelaBonanza]

I remember you briefly mentioning Jacob's passing months ago and have had you in my thoughts since then. It's clear how much you loved him and I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Thank you for taking the time to share how you're doing - I promise your makeup doesn't look messy at the slightest even at the end! And as for the people who somehow think it's appropriate to DM you about how he passed ?? I say a big block and hope they sit and think why they have the right to ask such a thing.

[@humanzwasokay7974]

I've been watching your channel since I was about 13, and when you made videos about Onision. You were always such an icon to me with your cool hair, tattoos and outfits. You featured a (very badly drawn!) portrait I made of you when I was really young, and I remember how much it made me smile! I'm 21 now, getting married soon, and I'm still watching your videos. You are always going to be one of my favorite comfort watches, and I just wanted you to know how much myself and all of your viewers appreciate you!

[@treacletatts]

Grief really does change you, my tolerance for the majority of crap diminished when my mum passed away. As time has gone on (this was over 9 years ago now) it’s helped and I’m more tolerant to something’s but whewww boy some days not so much. Anyway I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with so much in such a short amount of time. Sending you so much love ❤️

[@darkwriter_xx94]

That is literally my worst fear and sends me spiraling. I tell my therapist all the time that I’m certain I’m will be forever changed when my mom passes. I’m hoping that it has gotten easier for you as time has passed.

[@LosAngelesLaura]

This ❤

[@TiffanyG8675309]

My tolerance for SO much shit left me when my mama passed away.

[@allisunshine444]

Pressing like on this doesn’t feel right. Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot begin to know what you’re going through. There are no words in a time like this. Do what you need to do, I support you

[@magita1991]

Yeah liking it feels weird. I did like just to help the algorithm.

[@Reeeeeeeeeeeeeed]

Something told me to like it immediately. I don’t do that for any videos. It doesn’t feel like a like this time.

[@madz4693]

@@Reeeeeeeeeeeeeedsame, I view “liking” this video (in this case, VEHEMENTLY supporting) representing me “liking” Giulia’s bravery, vulnerability, and straight up BADASSERY in sharing this. Giulia if you’re reading, as a fellow “afraid to be vulnerable” girl, you are metal as FUCK for crying on camera and still holding your ground. 🖤

[@Lionesse-z41553]

No. It doesn't. It feels like a hug.

[@d1gitalsonder]

Julia, I’m a lurker that never comments, but you have been my comfort creator for about 5 years now. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable. Although we may never meet we are here for you just as you have always been for us. Sending you infinite love ❤️

[@icrochetedthething]

My husband and I got together when he was 19, and I was 21. I can't imagine the grief and confusion you must be dealing with because you aren't going to be the same without Jacob, and that's just how it is. I wish the very best for you, and I'm proud of you for all the ways you're taking care of yourself. Including this video. (Eyeliner looks amazing)

[@elizabethcowan9096]

Grief changes people. Don’t be to hard for changing and never apologize for crying. I honestly don’t know how you held it together for so long. You’re strong. You were and are loved. I hope that your followers show kindness and support even if you mix things up :)

[@axxli29]

I started crying watching this. I may not understand your direct situation but I understand what it’s like to lose a loved one. You are so incredibly strong and I know how difficult that can be, you’re a badass and I wish you nothing but love and healing.

[@squishycoveswena]

I've been worried about you since i saw your post about losing Jacob. Been happy to see you back posting but like, I've also been keeping in mind your hurt this whole time. All this with the doxxing and everything is so scary and I'm genuinely wishing you healing, peace, and all the best ❤

[@phaedrathenerd9721]

we love you! i know grief, i know it's hard. YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE ON THIS EARTH WITH US.

[@Chanta2424]

This shit is not easy to talk about. I commend you for opening up like this. I’m so sorry for your loss I want to congratulate you as well for starting your PhD program- it’ll be hard but rewarding ❤

[@halcyon17]

I've been watching you since the early days where you would just go through Tumblr finding the most cursed shit in existence. You've inspired me to get my bachelor's in English and to keep going, even in vulnerable moments like these where shit hits the fan. I have been learning how to get to know myself again after a long term abusive relationship and I understand just how bizarre it is to rediscover myself in a sea of overwhelming, clashing feelings regarding the last decade of my life. I can only imagine how overwhelming things are for you, but you're here and you're still kicking ass. I'm so proud of you for going for your PhD and for showing how there is strength within vulnerability.

[@Pepper-sg5rc]

I never thought I’d be privileged enough to hear about this. Thank you so much for sharing. Your boundaries are valid!!!

[@billieseyelashes]

very important input right here!

[@heatherblount8839]

This was so honest and raw and vulnerable. Thank you for allowing us to see beyond the curtain. You didn’t have to share this with us but you did and it helps us to see that creators are human beings too. I wish you the best.

[@Val.caligari]

You're so strong and brave, and I'm sorry for all the things you have gone through... The thing about the address was fucking insane

[@moonlunatic]

Real ones remember how awesome and lovely Jacob was. He loved you so much G ❤

[@READYTOGLARE]

A walking blessing tbh.

[@mooncapone4556]

@@READYTOGLARE I'm really truly sorry this happend to you and you are so amazing just for making this video and trying your hardest to move on this genially made me cry i've been watching your videos for years now and the way you guys loved each other is truly spectacular and I really truly wish you the best of luck re discovering who you are as a person

[@linkfan160]

In a video full of heartbreaking things, the saddest thing you said was "People associate me with death. I am death walking." And I don't know if saying this will help, but I can tell Jacob really loved you just from the way you talk about him, so I feel like he wouldn't want you to think of yourself in that way. I think he would be really proud of you for how you've handled this, so I hope you will speak more kindly about yourself in the future, because you deserve it. With grief, it's important to treat yourself with grace and understanding. Btw congrats on the PHD program!

[@deadpandrummer]

29 is a PERFECTLY acceptable age to find yourself, and at the same time I am so sorry that you have to go through it for these reasons. You have no obligation to share intimate details of your life with us, though I hope some comments here can offer you a few words of comfort (even if a lot of them are words you've probably heard on repeat over the past year). It's natural for us to change throughout our lives and to be different people in different stages. And it's completely understandable to still feel lost in the middle of an ocean without even a damn compass at this point. As another 29 year old reinventing herself again (albeit for vastly different reasons), I hope you have the tools you need to support you through such a major period in your life. It doesn't matter if that process or even the methods you use to cope sound cringe to someone else; if it all works for you and gets you to a better place? DO IT. You DESERVE to heal, cope, and find yourself without judgement and harassment like this oh so brave DM (they DEF picked the wrong one). Heal at your own pace, do the cringiest things ever if it makes you happy. Your obligation is to yourself, and I wish you much success with your Ph.D program. You've got this, and you don't need a random stranger on the internet to tell you that, but in case it helps I'm gonna gas you up anyway. ❤

[@francescadulash3511]

I had no idea this has happened. Do things on your terms. Just know we all love you. RIP Jacob

[@danilotusflower]

Same here! I'm so incredibly sorry for Glare I could not even fathom going through any of this 😢

[@urdoseofsaratonin]

Giulia, I remember seeing your IG post and being so heartbroken for you. To see you power through the grief and pain and continue to make videos for us and put on a happy face, all the while taking on your PhD…that takes major, major guts and strength. You are such an inspiration, if not to everyone, than to myself. I am so so so proud of you and I know Jacob is too.

[@Catherine_Anne]

I’m 38 and I still have no idea who I am. I still use the phrase “when I grow up” unironically. I feel like a child with adult responsibilities. It’s frustrating.

[@lydsugh4404]

I’ve been on a grief journey for the past 4 years in different ways, loss of people in my life through leaving both physically and through death, and it’s a lot. By 23 I had no parents, with my dad leaving in 2019 and the worst being my mum passing away last year, which broke me. I know we all experience grief differently, but I am so happy to hear you are starting new things, discovering new facets of yourself and that you are growing in a positive way despite everything you have faced. I am re entering education this year by starting university for the first time soon, something I never thought I’d be able to do. Your courage inspires others, and I am sending all my best wishes and love to you going forward 💖

[@zickykane5206]

Thank you for showing such strength in such hard times. You're far stronger than you even think. Thank you for sharing.

[@veronagrant7637]

Damn I did not expect this at all. I had no Idea your partner has went to heaven. Girlie, please stay strong. This was truly shocking. I hope you find strength and hope for the future. ❤❤❤❤

[@Terminal.Rainbows]

If I can manage to find even half of your strength at my lowest moment I'll be confident I can endure. You're a force of nature!

[@serious323]

It is scary to have someone send your address and not have your partner to run to. That's a harsh reminder he's gone. I'm so sorry this is something you are experiencing. Definitely praying for you. Losing the love of your life is literally like having your heart ripped out and your soul stomped on.

[@highcarolina]

I usually never comment, but I've watched your videos for years. Stay strong,it's hard and it'll probably get even harder, but you got this. You have us too, you're not alone. Give yourself some time to heal. I'm sorry for your loss.

[@hayleywarner7941]

I don't only watch your videos because I enjoy the topics, I love how educated, beautiful and creative you are. You're like the perfect Trifecta, and not being cringe, political, or toxic/narcissistic is rare to find with creators. Basically I have the up most respect for you and I really will be sending you and your family good energy. 🥺 I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now, take whatever time/action you feel fit. You don't owe us anything but staying healthy ❤❤❤

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

I agree with what you said, you said it better than I could.

[@hannamor]

my condolences to you 🖤I’ve watched your channel since you had about 50k subs and have watched you change & grow over the years. I can’t even fathom how strong you are. just being here right now & vulnerable to your audience just shows how strong you are. you didn’t have to show this side of your grief, but at the same time i feel less alone in my own grief because of it, and i’m sure many others do too. i truly hope the best for you and hope that you find healing every day & one day feel whole again. 🖤🖤🖤

[@mizzkittenttv]

Im 25 and I am engaged to my high-school sweetheart. It is not silly at all that you need to rediscover who you are without him. I can't imagine how impossibility difficult this is for you. Sending as much positive energy your way as I can

[@Carolannmatus]

My heart goes out to you. Your strength is so admirable. The reason I’ve always loved watching you is how raw, real, funny, intelligent and true to yourself you are. Nobody will ever have it all figured out no matter how old you are, ESPECIALLY after such a life altering event. Just know you are so loved and so supported by all of us and you’re doing the best you can. We all love you and we’re all here for you. You’re amazing ❤

[@Sofiesplayroom]

This is just heartbreaking… I had no idea. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@spooky_shears]

You are unbelievably strong. It's not cringey to explore and discover more of yourself. There are people far older who still don't know but won't allow themself the time and freedom. Congratulations on your scholarship, it clearly speaks to how brilliant you are that you earned it at the time you did. I can't imagine how hard things have been and will be for you, but I hope you can continue to grow and change for the better 🧡

[@Quichebro]

Guila I remember reading the first announcement of his death and I actually had a visceral reaction that I felt in my chest. I can’t imagine going through that what you have. All I know is you have to be one of the strongest people I’ve ever witnessed. The only solace I’ve ever found in loss like this is being able to honor their memory by living another day. Everyday you keep showing up for yourself is another day you show reverence for his life.

[@Baphy_baby666]

We don’t just come for the stories, we come for you. We could get the stories from a multitude of other people/stories but we parasocially love you🖤 as someone who has been a fan and following along with you since the start of 2019, it’s been a journey and I’m so proud of you for everything you’ve made it though and accomplished. The love you and Jacob shared will always be there and parts of him live on with you. I’m wishing so much healing, love, and peace for you Gulia❤️

[@jeniphirtaylor-mcintire81]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Young widowhood is a very particular monster; please know that you can get through it. I wish you peace and comfort.

[@annetteleggett9854]

I’m so sorry for your loss and am glad you are still here. I’m 58 and I still don’t know what’s going on half the time, but I do so enjoy your videos. Also, people suck and I hope that person/s get really, REALLY bad hemorrhoids and sciatica.

[@kendrarasberry3078]

Yikes! But the trolls deserve it, though.

[@Jan3D03]

Seeing this side of you, and allowing yourself being so vulnerable warmed my heart as much as it made me tear up. It’s a sign that you are healing; you didn’t have to say zip about it and still chose to. Your resilience is inspiring and I will always follow your journey as long as you’re making content. Definitely here for the PhD chapter of your life too; best wishes and sincerest thoughts and love girl❤❤

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

I am in tears for you! I recently lost my own partner in a very traumatic way. We started dating when I was 17, and I'm now 49, so that's 32 years together. I totally get what you're saying about not being able to go into so many rooms. I can't go into our bedroom, the bathroom (where he passed), and his shop. I'm not trying to get sympathy, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that the feelings that you're feeling are normal, and that it's important to recognize and experience those feelings. I lost him May 7, so I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, but I know that what we're feeling is normal, and that eventually, I will learn to cope with these feelings. Time doesn't heal our wounds, but it does teach us how to live with them, and how to care for them. With Love, Amber.

[@spiderwebasmr5353]

I appreciate the strength it took to post this. I’ll keep watching no matter what changes, I’m glad you’re here. 🖤

[@jbb2009]

I'm so sorry for your loss and the bs you've been through. As a counselor, I say to clients to remember to be gentle with themselves, there's no timeline when dealing with grief and loss.

[@pamelaowen2015]

"As a councilor," (one like on a very good comment) wow, cults

[@HeartlessKairi42]

This was quite honestly the strongest and most straightforward video I think I've ever seen. I've seen some of your content discussed by other creators but I'm subscribing right tf now because this was inspirational for someone like me with fears of what you're going through and similar internal feelings you've described and to lay them out like this? Wow. No further words, other than you're amazing and you deserve the best and I'm fkn impressed (not that you were trying, I just hope you know you're making an impact more than you may realize)

[@allforfun1951]

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for your loss! F that doxxer and stay strong! Glad to see you're evolving to stay with the change, but definitely keep yourself first! Your channel has been awesome and we want to support you regardless. Kudos and stay strong, your business is your business. No one has to know details. Good on you and stay strong, thanks for letting us know!

[@foster8871]

Holy sh*t I didn’t even know this happened… wow. Just wow. I’m so sorry…

[@annvassallo2604]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. We love you.

[@Laebeth89]

Losing someone you've known for that long, who has basically become part of your identity, I totally understand suddenly having to rediscover yourself. I very much cried back when I heard about your husband. Take care of yourself and keep being amazing

[@SalviAlmighty]

Words cannot express how strong you are. You're still here, kicking and screaming, and giving 'em hell. I can't even imagine what you went, and still are, going through. You didn't owe us anything, but you still shared this deeply personal video with us, so thank you for trusting us. Grief is a long arduous process, so please be patient with yourself

[@PremiumReyes2]

We may be strangers, we may be silent, but we are here. Will always cheer you up. The world is f'ed up but there's good out there still. ❤

[@kaitschmidt452]

I really respect you for this. Good luck on your PhD journey.

[@KatieCarpenter2014]

Anyone who has half a heart and has been following you since before Jacob passed should understand that you don't owe us anything. You don't owe us an explanation, you don't owe us content, you don't owe it to us to be the same person you were over a year ago. Death changes us in really weird and unexpected ways sometimes. I appreciate you opening up and being honest about your mental health struggles - as someone who is mentally ill, I know how hard it can be to talk about. It's good to get it off your chest, though. You aren't alone. ♥ You do what you need to do for you. I wish you all the best in healing.

[@emmoo2701]

I’m just one of hundreds of faceless commenters, but I’m very happy you’re still here ❤ And I hope with time that your pain gets easier to bear. Wishing you strength and hope for the future.

[@FatimaCrest]

I’m so sorry for your loss with losing the love of your life. I want to say that I find it remarkable that you’ve been making content still and are now getting a scholarship for your PhD program. You’re truly an inspiration and I wish you the best during one of the hardest experiences to go through.

[@FancyRPGCanada]

I’m so very sorry for your loss, it’s truly devastating. Thank you for sharing your story

[@Eviepossible]

Thank you for sharing❤️ You honored Jacob so well in how you spoke about him.

[@brendaleelydon-carpenter1554]

Just so you know, even without a tragic loss, we're always evolving & figuring out who we are. Like, you know who you are for the most part, but we're always growing & who we are at 20 is quite different than we are at 40. I'm sorry you had all this nonsense thrust into an already chaotic period of your life. You woke up this morning, got dressed, & put on makeup - you're doing better than a lot of other people! Don't sell yourself short! And 🎉congrats🎉 on getting into school!! 😊 I appreciate your work as well. Take all the time you need, and anyone trying to say you should be 'over it' after X days/months/years can get bent.

[@morwynnavonblack3943]

I’ve thought about you once a week since hearing you lost him. I’m very proud of you and how you’ve dealt with unimaginable grief