Real Love or Being Played? And What Does The Carrie Dilemma Teach Us About Compromise

[@SpitfireKitten]

Carrie is scared of squirrels because she’s nuts, so she thinks the nut-loving squirrel will eat her

[@insightsbyv]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MrLarrySunshine]

😂❤😂❤😂

[@Юлія-ф3л]

Iʼm dying🤣🤣🤣

[@anialuchik2743]

😂

[@bephanie]

LOL

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

Aiden had to learn the hard way that when you force someone to do what you want, you’ll have a miserable time

[@kn5715]

I remember watching this episode the first time and thinking why the F is she going out for a fancy dinner with Big. So shady. She cheated on Aidan with Big and she’s sneaking away to have dinner with him behind her BFs back. Carrie has no shame. And that’s not even touched on in the episode.

[@Kelly_Cherry]

My thoughts exactly

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

I see Carrie and Aiden as a perfect example of two people who can have great chemistry with others but don't have enough chemistry with each other

[@Stephanie_Ella]

IMHO, they had great friend chemistry but were incompatible as a couple. *Same goes for Big tbh..

[@ireefree2024]

Aiden and Carrie are the best example that chemistry is not enough for a healthy relationship. You need compatibility, it's even more necessary... Many women loved Aiden and wanted them to be together but they don't fit at all... Big neither but that's another story...

[@insightsbyv]

Yup, it just wasn't it...

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

I've just seen a YT video where the CC says that men couldn't care less about compatibility. They assume (consciously or unconsciously) that the woman will "fall in line" with their lifestyle, goals and hobbies. If she doesn't then they'll try and change her. I think you can see this when Aidan invites Carrie to his country "pad'. Carrie is a City Gal and he KNOWS this, yet still wants her to be a country (trad?) wife. Of course it backfires horribly. I'd love to see more videos on this issue. It underpins a lot of relationships and causes conflict later on.

[@OmarAyusoVA]

Carrie didn't want a relationship she wants an idea.

[@ireefree2024]

@@rejectionisprotection4448 I'm sorry but I think that's pretty harsh to generalize men like that. There are people with this illusion that they can change people and honestly it's more woman than men and I said that as a woman. Needy people like Carrie fits to their partners lifestyle in hope to be loved and that's not a gender thing. Unfinished childhood trauma probably. Also people with narcissistic tendencies will force their will as well at their partner. In this case I think Aiden is passive aggressive with her because on the one side she cheated and he couldn't really forgive her (I don't blame him, I couldn't either) and on the other side he wants her in his world and thinks she will like it because he doesn't really sees her who she really is. I'm happy married and we are compatible with our lifestyle but still we have also our own hobbies and oppinons where we don't force the other to be a part of it or to believe the same but to discuss it can be also funny to see other perspectives.

[@SouthernBredCornbreadFed]

Aidan liked the idea of getting a polished city girl like Carrie, but they couldn't be any less of a match. They have nothing in common including morals, lifestyle, and goals. He liked the ego boost of being seen with a girl like her, but basically didn't like anything about her habits or lifestyle. Lots of folks have great sexual chemistry, but can't build a relationship on it. They are both unreasonable.

[@questionsfromthebeyond]

I think Carrie is the same: she had a "man of the earth" who adored her and loved her and wouldn't stray-- in short, a caricature of stability for her abandonment wounds. She, too, wasn't totally invested in his work or his tastes or his lifestyle. While he at least wanted to integrate into her life and world (perhaps too quickly), she wanted to keep her life separate from his. They just weren't compatible, and were constantly triggering each other.

[@gingermcmahon3479]

both of these comments are fantastic!! i love these analyses

[@questionsfromthebeyond]

@ Thank you!

[@thirstwithoutborders995]

I think the difference in compromise is if you do it out of genuine love and wanting to be with them in this warm, soft state, then you grow toward each other. If you do it for other reasons, like social expectations, attachment issues, financial dependence or just thinking they are a catch, you end up bending until you break.

[@manonmemento7621]

She was honest he was persistent. That is not compromise. Example: I like concerts, my husband doesn't. So we made compromise. He stays at home and I go with my friends while he is taking care of our children. He wants to go on drink with friends and I don't mind. He doesn't have to take me. I will stay with kids so he can go and relax. Comunication is important.

[@krisztinasz4503]

I'm already looking forward to the next part. :) The Carrie and Big dinner is such a trigger for me that I cannot imagine myself ever be okay with something like this (like Aidan was). He should have never taken Carrie back. She and Big are such dysfunctional people and I don't think she actually loved Big, either, he just made her feel more important in society just like the actress did with Big. And you are so right about compromise being a shaky ground in relationships and it is very hard to navigate it sometimes.

[@questionsfromthebeyond]

I so appreciate the nuance you approach with Carrie's character: you understand and explain her vulnerabilities and good qualities, AND you clock her indisputable wrongs. Love your unsugarcoated honesty-- it's kindness, not vindictiveness, to point out the truth.

[@tonichan89]

I think sometimes it's worth being open minded enough to give something like that a chance, because it's not always what you think it's gonna be. It also shows your partner you care enough to try it rather than letting pre-conceived assumptions dismiss the idea altogether. Similar things apply to movie choices and so on. If my guy gives something I like an honest, open-minded try and still doesn't like it, I'll still appreciate he gave it a chance, and I'd wanna do the same for him. 🙂 I get that going away from home is a bigger thing to commit to, so I would probably sit down and try to talk about what we'd spend the time doing out there, I think that's a context where he can make some compromises of his own to make the country time more enjoyable for her.

[@insightsbyv]

Yesss, it's all in having the open conversation, and showing up for your partner how you can✨️

[@annemarson4144]

There are huge rats and roaches in the city. People poop in parking garages. Why would a squirrel freak her out? LOVE your videos, btw.

[@happygolucky9004]

It's different and not what she's used to or interested in.

[@toyaJM]

There are also squirrels in the city like girl be for real lol

[@happygolucky9004]

@@toyaJM Squirrels in the city are pretty rare especially if you don't visit parks.

[@toyaJM]

@@happygolucky9004 not in my city but I guess every city doesn't plant as many trees as mine and have parks every few blocks

[@happygolucky9004]

@@toyaJM I'm confused do you not live in NYC too? Carrie lives in NYC and if you live in a different city then your comments aren't really relevant.

[@Stephanie_Ella]

I gave up SO much for my ex and he gave up nothing! I relocated (moved 4 HOURS away from MY family) and quit my job to be with him and it was an absolute failure. 😒 I would never do that again!

[@amandabun]

When big is utterly distraught that willow summers A star actor ‘ghosts him’. And he is mourning and questioning ‘why’?! Heartbroken (as temporary as it is), I would wager that big NEVER ever felt that loss where Carrie was concerned. The first movie after his has jilted her and it shows New Years Eve and he happily tucking into a meal, alone and not staring into the distance realising how very much he misses her with shadows of regret and guilt after 10 years. But the superstar actress avoiding his sorry ass attempt at being a stand up guy after only a few weeks causes him to implode in his sadness! There is a deleted scene from the cabin episode (it’s on YT) and it is big drunk and shouting carrie’s name. If it sounds cringe, it’s cause it is! (Fab upload 🙌❤️)

[@Cheshirekat411]

I am so f-ing keen for the next video

[@The223214]

I live for your videos! Now if only you could be my therapist 😂❤. Another great SATC breakdown Also wanted to add, looking back and rewatching Carrie and Aidan's relationship shows that not only is it an issue with comrpomise but they're completely incompatible. Polar opposites like night and day and it works against them in this case.

[@insightsbyv]

💯!

[@stur5252]

Aiden shouldn't have insisted when it was so obvious she didn't want to go, and then had to pretend she was into it.

[@kierad1794]

there are other episodes- maybe later?- where aiden is shown to be a homebody and carrie goes out by herself or with other friends. they simply aren’t compatible in a lot of ways.

[@amandabun]

I am so very happy for more and more content on this channel. Love it! And hello to fellow ladies who will be watching this on the bed later and are chilling. Especially all the singletons who refuse to settle and demand more from life 🙌❤️ than a John James Preston type who is a man-child incapable of an adult relationship x

[@insightsbyv]

Aiii working on it💪😁❤️

[@knitwitchpgh]

My partner is a big out doorsy guy. Im a modern luxury glamping vibes. Aka I NEED A ROOF AND RUNNING WATER 😂 compromise? We car camp and stay in cabins. He doesnt ask me to fish and he leaves me and my knitting alone. He also got me an oodie hoodie to keep warm. And in turn he goes to craft stores, and events with me. Because of it we had an amazing first trip car camping by lake Erie to watch the eclipse. I knitted by the fire and he cooked chicken tortilla soup. It was beautiful and the first time we said i love you. I cant imagine being forced to go/ pretending i loved it when if i was miserable. Carrie makes her life so much harder than it needs to be. Is she a cancer? Edit canonically shes a libra. What an insult to libras 😂

[@elenahilbig8305]

I think Aidan put himself above Carrie because their first relationship ended and Carrie would always place herself above him and Big above herself. Aiden goes out of his comfort zone for her she doesn’t do it for him. Even in Aidan’s safe place she brings big in.

[@amailyy]

Thank you, our queen, for posting!👑

[@Marieechr444]

You’re my favorite KZbinr ❤

[@insightsbyv]

Aiii means a lot🥰 Thank you for your support✨️

[@LasBlackUnicrn]

Idc what anyone says, Carrie does not like Aiden! Smh she just likes that he’s good on paper and what she should be after. I can’t believe the writers are still trying to make them a thing 20+ yrs later!

[@SigmaSigmaSigmaJgirl]

She treats him like 💩.

[@wanderingjadah]

I feel like lifestyle differences take a lot of finesse. Like it can work if both people are satisfied spending time apart- for example, if Aiden could appreciate that Carrie is uncomfortable staying at the cabin and be happy spending time there without her, that could work, but I can see if someone places a lot of importance on their partner enjoying being outdoorsy too, then maybe they’re just not compatible. When I was younger I dated a guy who lived in a cabin (more like a shack) that had a lot of spiders and bugs and frogs in the bathroom and I disliked being there. I wouldn’t sleep there. It was a bone of contention because he was upset he needed to always come stay with me. To be fair, I think most girls wouldn’t want to sleep in a bug infested shack though 😂

[@Amanda.Cooper]

I just don't understand why Carrie acts like she's never seen a squirrel before??? If it was a legit phobia, that could have been a running joke throughout the series

[@SigmaSigmaSigmaJgirl]

V, I am two weeks late, but I am glad you created another video. ❤

[@frenchie5787]

I think Aiden "forced" Carrie to go with him because he didn't even consider that she could actually refuse (he had strong expectations given how much he has done for her and for the relationship in his mind). I also think he used to her acting a little bit difficult but ultimately coming around. In fact she proved him right. Once again, Carrie couldn't set and respect her own boundaries, so how do you expect him to realize he forced her ? The fact that she went showed him he was right to insist. Minus the Mr Big thing :-D

[@juliel3460]

Never been this early before. Your videos brighten my day❤️

[@adelinediallo7775]

Love love love your content!

[@kierad1794]

when i first watched the series i didn’t notice all these red flags in aiden! i saw the great chemistry and the fact that he was better than big… and just thought carrie should’ve ended up with aiden. she shouldn’t have ended up with any of these guys honestly. she needs a self healing journey lol.

[@draculena]

i'm not able to say anything constructive about this episode, despite how compelling it is BECAUSE carrie's incessant SCREAMING makes me absolutely irate. she is so annoying GOOD LAWD!

[@hibaaqahmed9099]

Yeah that scream over the squirrel was OTT

[@animami-8]

Okkk like girl there are squirrels in the city. I understand being startled but that scream lol so dramatic

[@caseyw.6550]

I don't understand what aiden was doing in nyc in the first place. Lol

[@tonichan89]

Come on now, give Carrie a break! They don't have mud in New York! How is she supposed to know how to stand, let alone WALK, in it? You're asking too much. ... Though I'm pretty sure I've seen those squirrel-beasts in Central Park but I could be wrong. I only went to New York once.

[@insightsbyv]

I know, sometimes I'm too harsh...🤭

[@matchaleche]

Carrie is such a brat. I get that no one wants to be in a bug infested place, but Aiden has money, doesn't he? No way he would take her to a run down place! Also "I'm a crazy girl, I watch late movies on a weekday" 😂😂 WHAT?? That's what the most boring person on earth would say thinking they are 'quirky' and 'different'. And yeah, I'm 35, I know how tired one can be when Wednesday hits, but girlie was working FROM HOME

[@Avoranation]

I think she could have given it a chance without all the fuss. He clearly cared about it, and her complete rejection of it is a bit harsh and childish to me. It's a cabin 🤦🏼‍♀️ but I dont mind camping, etc so maybe we're just very different people. It's exactly this point where their incompatibility is made so clear. Especially when She runs off to see big and all the crap that happens there. I was always team Aiden, but for me, not her 😂 she should never have been with him. What do they even have in common? They don't make sense at all.

[@NiveaCow]

Honestly, I am that person. There is no amount of love that would force me spend 2 weekends in the country. And I would be just ad whiny as Carrie. I am not proud of that, but it's true.

[@caseyw.6550]

Hey, that's fair. You like what you like.

[@twistedmind3323]

I get it. I love being in the country and wouldn't want a long-term partner who can't enjoy it. Aidan and Carrie to me were so fixated on trying to make their relationship work that they don't ask the more important question of why they're doing this again when it was a mess the first time. That, I'll never understand.

[@oc2538]

Even if you are compatible with someone you may still need to compromise. As long as it isn't mentally or physically hurting you.

[@Cevalip]

I love your commentaires - feeling less alone and sometimes realizing stupid things I do😱😂 If you're out of content I would love your comments on desperate Housewives (I'd argue its clear its not good relationships, but still)😁

[@andreabc2590]

Yay! New video!

[@jaynedavis3388]

4:15 Back then I thought Carrie was in the wrong & I understood why Aiden wanted to take her away from the Big* City with him. Now I don’t think you should be in a relationship with someone if you have to coerce them into doing something, it’s not healthy for either person. I see Aiden as being the one in the wrong now. I think a good compromise would be for her to go to the country house once it’s been renovated & has air conditioning. She could agree to come down on a day trip & help him decorate the space. It doesn’t have to be a “now or never” thing. * didn’t work, Big followed her there

[@AlwedoMichelleIvy]

8:07 this made me smile

[@Stephanie_Ella]

39:24 I never believed that Big dated Willow…

[@caseyw.6550]

🫢 omg! You could be right!

[@RoseRose-hp4rq]

That’s a great point

[@sami5261]

So funny Carrie thinking she is compromising an unhealthy amount for Aiden 😂 Delulu is the word 😂

[@Stephanie_Ella]

And why couldn’t Carrie and Aidan just be friends? 🤔

[@Stephanie_Ella]

Aidan’s a simp.. he should’ve dumped Carrie over the secret dinner date with Big. 😒

[@shanisha0730]

How the hell does Carrie live in NY City and is scared of squirrels?? I know she’s seen plenty rats running down Manhattan 💀🤣

[@SigmaSigmaSigmaJgirl]

She had an affair with a rat.

[@knitwitchpgh]

SAVE ME FROM BOREDOM AT WORK

[@melissaherrera940]

Carrie being scared of squirrels is more bonkers when you consider that NYC has squirrels….we have worse than squirrels, we have actual rats the size of small cats. Like if Carrie was a true New Yorker, she’d be happy to see normal animals in the wild and not some of the mutant specimens that roam our streets. Also this stereotype that city folk don’t like animals is wild. Animals exist in the city too. And thousands of people have pets!!

[@SigmaSigmaSigmaJgirl]

Carrie thinks she is entitled to have a squirrel-free cabin.

[@JulieElvenMusic]

Love your videos! ❤️

[@morganalefay5454]

❤🎉

[@helenlamer8622]

Omg I somehow missed completely that big was an editor. That makes his patronizing tone towards Carrie even worse, because they work in the same industry and he just sees her as his inferior. Ugh disgusting

[@kkadrmas1]

He wasn’t an editor. He was a financier. Carrie lied and said she had a meeting with her editor, but had dinner with Big. So wrong.

[@insightsbyv]

Oops, I was being sarcastic him being an editor🤭