Real Talk: Gender Disappointment | All The Feelings & What I Am Doing To Help! {EMOTIONAL}

[@elainavasington9602]

My third boy is a year and a half and I still cry about the daughter I don't have. It feels deep, aching, soul crushing. She was so real to me in my heart that it feels like someone died, knowing she'll never be. I sob whenever neighbors, family, and friends have girls. We have all nieces and no nephews...I can't help but wonder why everyone else got beautiful girls but I didn't. I wish above all else that I could have experienced the feeling of being told "it's a girl"! A joy I'll never know. I wish people understood that if we could choose to feel differently, all of us with gender disappointment would. I hope you're feeling better, all these years later 💗

[@AmandaDeWald]

Elaina, sending you so much love mama 💕 thank you for your comment. It is difficult and easily judged by people who haven’t been in the situation. I hope knowing you are not alone in your feelings brings you at least a little comfort. When I made this video 2 years ago I had no idea so many people could relate to how I was feeling. Sometimes it’s comforting just knowing we aren’t alone.

[@kenyawheaten2157]

Why not adopt you a girl ❤

[@jessicab331]

Pregnant with my #3rd boy and I feel this way. I have a co worker who is having a girl and she invited me to her baby shower. I said I’ll just get her a gift card b/c i don’t want to see any baby girl stuff! But I’m not going to the shower at all. I’m trying to figure out an excuse as to why I’m not there.

[@jessicab331]

@@kenyawheaten2157because it’s not the same.

[@mariaarcher1773]

I grew up with all sisters and always thought I’d have a daughter. My third boy is 13 and I still cry and grieve for the daughter I never had. Thank you for sharing

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending so much love mama ♥️

[@mandymohr1]

I am in a very similar situation. Thank you for your comment.

[@green_hedger_68]

Why didn't Abort him? Some mom really don't deserve to have kids

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@green_hedger_68 wow this comment is really disturbing and uncalled for.

[@Nijrodriguez]

I felt this to the core. We just found out we are having our 4th boy. Our last baby, and I know now I will never be able to hear "it's a girl". I don't wanna be the tough mom with all boys. I want to be girl sometimes, I want to go have tea parties, I want my husband to go on father daughter dances. We will never get that chance. I cried so much and I will always have a little piece of me that feels a little lonely. I love my boys, but I grew up with 4 boys and never had that girl talk or girl time not even with my mother. I wanted a chance to finally have that. I always hear "your grand babies will be girls." I reply. "It's not the same" and it isn't because their mothers need to bond with those girls. I felt distant with my last 2 pregnancies. I had plans with my last baby being a girl. It will now never happen. 😢😢😢.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am sending you so much love mama ❤️ it is so hard, especially when it’s so fresh. Please know you aren’t alone. I’m here if you ever need to vent/talk! And I agree, people tell me the same about grand babies but it’s not the same.

[@Vikshay]

I have 4 boys as well and have felt all of those feelings. Thanks for sharing.

[@Rachelds777]

Exactly.

[@LoveAndSnapple]

I don’t have any children, but I’m studying to become a family therapist and I’m sorry for your pain. I can understand how much feminine wisdom you’d want to pass down and to see what kind of young lady would blossom from such wisdom. Your sons will benefit from all that you give them and I hope over time the pain hurts a little less. God bless.

[@tiffyjacobs7172]

This is exactly how I feel. It’s hard 😢

[@LaurenMidgley]

Thanks for opening up about this! Gender disappointment is a very real thing that many people just don’t admit to. It is so normal to have to mourn the idea of never having a daughter. It doesn’t mean your son is any less loved, it’s the idea of a daughter that you are mourning. And it’s okay!!♥️

[@AmandaDeWald]

Thanks girl 🙏❤️ I so appreciate your kind words.

[@missydonald6381]

Same for the opposite as well

[@diaraturner]

Just found out today that i am having my 3rd boy and this is supposed to be my last for health reasons. I love him dearly but still hurt to know that i will never have mother daughter talks, shopping spree’s, do her hair with pretty bows and the list goes on. Its real. Those feelings don’t mean i am not grateful to have a child.

[@missydonald6381]

@@diaraturner Just because you have a daughter doesn’t guarantee she would like all of that…

[@diaraturner]

@@missydonald6381 very true.

[@shyannaarnwine5950]

Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve had no sleep since finding out we are having a boy because I always envisioned having a girl. I’m glad to know I’m not alone

[@AmandaDeWald]

You are certainly not alone. Be sure to give yourself grace mama. It will take time and when that precious boy is here you will love him so much ♥️

[@courtneycoto1287]

You are definitely not alone! I’ve been crying now for 2 weeks since finding out our rainbow baby is a boy. The guilt I have is overwhelming

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@courtneycoto1287 sending love mama

[@blackglitter1474]

I think I'm having my 2nd boy. There's a lot of social conditioning and society's reaction that makes the situation awful. For instance some pray that i;m carrying a girl so that i can be "lucky" like them. This is going to be my last biological pregnancy. If I want to raise a girl and go through all the female milestones, I will adopt or use a surrogate.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@blackglitter1474 i am so sorry that you are feeling the pressures that society puts on us :( I am sending you so much love mama

[@janethunter6653]

I'm a grandmother and we just found out we're having our 3rd granddaughter. I have only 2 children, both girls, so this is my 5th. We all feel disappointment eventhough we know our girls have been the great blessings in our lives and a 5th will be also. There is nothing wrong with feeling blessed and disappointed at the same time for what we thought should be.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Very well said ♥️ congratulations on the newest grand baby! Sending love.

[@worthyyou923]

Giiiiirl I feel you!!! I had my third boy last year in September and was absolutely crushed when I found out I was having another son. He’s the most beautiful thing now but the initial disappointment is so real and valid! I grew up with sisters and had expectations of having daughters...the grieving was hard but eventually our hearts heal.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes once they come the love is so strong but that initial disappointment while pregnant can be hard. We grow up with these expectations and it can be hard when those expectations aren’t met. I grew up super close with my sister and mom and just always thought I would have that. Guess sometimes life has other plans ♥️

[@worthyyou923]

@@AmandaDeWald well take heart friend because I got some great news yesterday (I did a video on it if you head over to my channel)!!

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@worthyyou923 just watched it!! So happy for you mama ♥️♥️♥️

[@worthyyou923]

@@birdyfilovingheart6365 my apologies on coming off as insensitive. I believe it is a grieving when you have your heart set on something and it doesn’t work out. It’s a hard thing to process as is childlessness. That’s why gender disappointment is a touchy subject to talk about because it comes off as ungrateful and does offend. I’m sorry you were offended by my comment.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@birdyfilovingheart6365 In no way am I comparing this to not being able to have kids. That is an extremely unfortunate situation and I definitely empathize and have witnessed the frustrations of that with family members, as I have also witnessed pregnancy loss with family members. Those situations are tragic and awful and I wish that on no one! Talking about one thing and how it makes us feel or how we cope with it does not make another thing less important. They are very separate instances and everyone is allowed to experience their own situations in their own way. Shaming someone through comments is just plain rude no matter the circumstances and I am disappointed that you didn’t have the strength to simply keep your comments to yourself. Apologies that you were offended as that was not my intent, as I stated in my video. I hope that you find some peace and I am sending you love.

[@RM-wg3ie]

Thank you for sharing this! Currently undergoing absolutely the same feelings with my second boy. It is devastating not because he is a boy and would not be loved, and because I am not grateful, but because I forever lost my dream girl. I have been crying for days, I wake up with that thought and go to sleep with it. People around me don’t seems to understand, because they never experienced it. But gender disappointment is real and can hurt bad. Knowing that there are other women who feel the same makes me feel better and not alone in this.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending so much love your way mama! I’m glad that you found comfort in my video. You are definitely NOT alone. ♥️

[@Autonomous111]

Im going through this right now and crying. I've chosen to feel my feelings because they're real. I'll get over it by the time he's here. But right now i feel crushed

[@AmandaDeWald]

I feel you mama ♥️ sending you so much love

[@Autonomous111]

@@AmandaDeWald thank you 🤗

[@macy9439]

Your video made me cry listening to all the hopes/dreams you had. It’s so heartbreaking as I understand. For those saying “theres people who suffer from infertility” yea I am one of those… I couldn’t get pregnant for 9 years and as the years went by especially with onset of social media, I wanted more and more a girl…yes for the bows, for the clothing, mama and me matching, for the best friend later in life. With all those years infertile yet when I finally got pregnant after years of treatment all I hoped for( after a healthy baby was for it to be a girl as ungrateful as it seems). I did get my girl and I thank god every day for her but just though she is a “boogered” bratt also. I hope you go on to have one more….and I hope you get your girl.

[@AmandaDeWald]

aw mama I am so happy to hear that you were able to conceive and got the girl you had hoped for! This makes my heart so full

[@shellieeaston6141]

Girl!!! This is so real! Your feelings are real. If anyone is upset... you are being transparent and honest!!! I'm grateful that you are doing this!!! 💙💙💙

[@AmandaDeWald]

Thanks Shellie 💙 love you girl 🙏

[@annawitte3683]

Dear Amanda, I am so blessed to found your video. I found out about our second boy yesterday and I cannot letting go this huge disappointment. It makes me sick and feeling so guilty about the little man inside of me. I wished so hard for a daughter. Only got two girl names in mind and all of the sudden this dream is crushed. I am crushed. Watching your video made me cry a river but also I’m so released other moms had or having the same feelings. At this point its so hard to pick a name for the little boy. Even now your video is almost 2 years old I wanted to thank you for sharing it. I hope you and your family is ok

[@AmandaDeWald]

Anna I am so glad that my video was able to bring you some peace, that was my intent… to let other mamas know that they are NOT alone! I am sending you so much love!! We had girls names for all our boys first too. I know you reached out on IG, I replied to your message over there with more detail. Sending lots of love ❤️

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Did you have yoir lil buy already, and are you feeling better? 🙏🏽

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

Give your son to a family that wants a boy

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

Terrible mother

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@tequilabumbum4373 yes, hes incredible and we all love him so much!

[@Kaytayfay]

This is so needed and I’m grateful to have stumbled upon this video as I am deep in the trenches of depression during my pregnancy due to gender disappointment. Although I did have a girl first, I would have paid an endless amount of money to do it all over again with another girl. I just do not like any of the boy stuff. I know this is made way worse by pregnancy hormones and all will be fine when he comes out, but I am incredibly depressed and struggling. Gender devastation is more like what I feel like. Thank you for speaking up and normalizing these feelings!!

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending you lots of love mama. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me on IG. Sometimes the best medicine is having someone who understands listen ❤

[@katiea1952]

I have just learnt that I am expecting our 3rd boy. And I have always dreamt of having my own little girl 💕 now I know that it will never be thank you for this.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending you lots of love mama ♥️

[@TinyDancer01]

I feel this so much. I have a son already and was so hoping for a girl this time. This pregnancy has been so different from my last, i let myself get my hopes up. I learned about gender swaying while i was already 17-18 weeks pregnant and found out i did alot of things while ttc that swayed boy. This made me feel like i sabotoged things. Its been 4 days since i found out im having another boy and im feeling much better than i was. Picking out some cute baby boy items and thinking of names has really helped. And of course videos like yours that let me know im not alone.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aww mama sending love, I know it can be tough! Picking out cute stuff and having a name helps a ton 💕 wishing you a healthy happy rest of your pregnancy!! Glad you found some comfort in this video. That makes me happy that I can at least help mamas know they are not alone and their feelings are OK. ❤️

[@jordynrandall3689]

My husband already has a little girl so when I found out that my first baby was also a girl, I was devastated. I was hoping that if it can’t be his first baby, hopefully it will be his first son. I now feel like all hope of this experience being “new” for him, is gone. I also know that sounds ridiculous but we can’t help our feelings. Thank you for your video...

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am so sorry you are struggling with these feelings mama ❤️ it can be so hard and we beat ourselves up so much. Give yourself grace throughout this pregnancy. Sending so much love!

[@paigeparks3227]

I understand this COMPLETELY!

[@zeeeefineass1930]

I understand even tho I’m no where in that situation lol I’m still a virgin but Ik if that was me I would feel the same

[@B-ch6uk]

I always dreamed of having a girl as well. When my daughter was born, I was thrilled. Turned out my little girl was never into dolls, shopping, anything girly. She was the only girl in her mechanical engineering classes at college. She's very independent today and chooses to live her life her way. I guess life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes very true and everything works out as it should ♥️ all babies are a blessing. Just sometimes hard learning how to cope with emotions that come up when life doesn’t go the way we envision it. Grateful for community though! Community and friendship and love can pull us through emotionally unstable times 🙏♥️

[@EvelynSantos001]

I've been struggling with depression and gender disappointment for two years now. Despite loving my son dearly, I yearned for a daughter. At 44, with my husband not wanting more children, I'm finding it challenging to cope and move forward. My heart and mind are still adjusting to this unexpected path.Honestly, I'm struggling to accept our family dynamics. Two years ago, I welcomed another precious son, but my heart longed for a daughter. I had saved some of my barbies and dolls and princess books.Loving him unconditionally, yet grieving the loss of that daughter dream. Now, at 44, with my husband complete, I'm grappling to find closure.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I'm so sorry mama, it can be so hard sometimes 😔 I hope you have some good friends or family members that you can talk with and get support from ❤ I have found that sometimes surrounding yourself with other boy moms can help too. I think sometimes the hardest part is that people shame talking about this topic, and think that just because someone has some disappointed feelings that it means that we don't love our children, which is NOT AT ALL the case. Finding people we can have those conversations with and not feel judged has really helped me and I hope you are able to find this to hopefully gain some peace with letting some of those feelings out. Feeling heard without judgment can be so freeing. I personally haven't been to a therapist, but if you don't have close family or friends, then that could be a safe space as well. Sending lots of love your way mama!

[@sabine46]

Thank you for this. I just found out I'm having a boy (yesterday). And the tremendous amount of guilt I feel about feeling disappointed. Like, I feel ashamed for feeling that way. I feel even physically sick. Nothing against this little dude in me though! I will love him forever and in the exact same way I would if he had been a girl. I always in visioned having 1 of each one day. But I always thought I would have a girl first. I never had or will have a close, caring, loving mother-daughter bond myself. She is just not interested in me. So I have a very deeply rooted wish for having a girl. I'm trying to learn to coop with my feelings I have now, but I am absolutely terrified of our future next child to be a boy and to have an even worse breakdown.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending so much love mama! I know how difficult it can be. Hang in there! When he’s here you will know why. Boys can be loads of fun and they def can have that great connection with mom. I know it’s not the same as a daughter and I feel your pain. Just know the hurt won’t last forever! And try not to feel guilty, you know how much you love your little dude but sometimes we just can’t help but feel how we feel. Sending so much love to you and many blessings for a happy healthy rest of your pregnancy 🙏✨💕xo mama!

[@MoreThanJustSkinDeep]

I am in the exact same boat. I didn’t have a loving mother growing up, and my husbands mother died when we were in our early 20s, so there’s no mother/daughter relationship in my life, and I so desperately wanted that. I found out I was pregnant with a boy... and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I worry the relationship just won’t be the same. I know I’ll love any child... but it still feels like a loss for me, the loss of having that mother/daughter relationship in my life... not sure how to get over that!

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@MoreThanJustSkinDeep I’m sorry mama, that can be tough. Sending you so much love ❤️

[@Dustyscorner1111]

At least of you have a girl 2nd the boy is older to protect the sister (family private security)

[@missydonald6381]

@@AmandaDeWald “not the same as a daughter”. Just because you have a daughter doesn’t mean you will automatically have a close connection or bond… I know some women who aren’t close to their mothers and boys who are close to their mothers.

[@natashabelosev482]

This was super helpful and encouraging. We are pregnant with our first baby and found out he is a boy. I felt so sad because Ive always envisioned myself having a daughter. Its been about 1 week since getting the news and Im still sad about it, but designing the nursery and picking out a name have been helping. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty on a sensitive topic!

[@AmandaDeWald]

Congratulations mama! Im so glad this video was able to help you in some way, even if to just know you are not alone and your feelings are ok ❤️ Picking out a name and preparing for baby definitely helps! As time goes on it will for sure get easier. Sending love your way!

[@aleshiaanderson2686]

Thank you. I'm in the same boat. We found out we're having our 3rd boy, and this is our last child. These feelings are awful, and I feel so selfish. I don't think it would've hit me this hard if I knew we had another chance. But I also believe the Universe has a reason for everything it bestows upon us. This baby boy was meant to be. And if I were ever meant to have a daughter, it would happen. I am grateful for this blessing, and in the end, I wouldn't change it for the world.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes! I love all of this ♥️ so true! Such a blessing. Give yourself grace about feeling selfish. We are allowed to have feelings and process them. ✨

[@laurasusanne3558]

Wow, this was written an hour ago. I found out yesterday that our 3rd is a boy and I have been crying since I found out. I did not think I’d feel this way, but I honestly just think I’m mourning the loss of a daughter that will never be. Hope I get through this feeling.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@laurasusanne3558 I can 100% relate to that feeling mama ♥️ you will get through it. Allow yourself to feel and process and when your little one is in your arms you will feel amazing. Sending you so much love. Be gentle with yourself.

[@laurasusanne3558]

@@AmandaDeWald I know I will love this little boy, I wanted my 2nd to be a girl too, and omg I love my second little boy so much!!! I’m not going to lie and say I havent cried all day. I think it’s going to take a while for me to visualize life with 3 little boys and realize it’s my reality and not changing. I don’t know anyone in real life that can relate, so I’m scanning the internet for those who can, found this video and it does help to know you’re not alone in feeling this way. I’m even still in denial thinking my NIPT was contaminated, but the chances of that are 1%...can believe I’ve hit that stage of denial but here I am 🤔😭

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@laurasusanne3558 yes, it took me quite a while as well and I def was in denial about my NIPT too! I was searching all the "wrong gender" videos and blogs. I don't think I fully accepted he was a boy until I saw the genitals myself on our 20 week scan (it was pretty undeniable he was a boy). For a while I felt like I would never feel ok about it, but it does get better. I won't lie and say there aren't days that I see mother-daughter stuff and get sad, but my boys are amazing and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Im glad you happened to stumble across my video and it was helpful in some way. Feel free to connect on IG if you need someone to chat with.

[@cici2562]

Thank you for this video, you are not alone. I have felt such intense guilt and shame over wanting a daughter when I have two sons and you have helped me to feel more validated. I am now entering peri menopause. The idea of leaving this world daughterless causes me an indescribable amount of pain and the guilt that accompanies it is nearly unbearable. But I do feel so strongly, and my entire body was wracking with sobs watching this. Relief for realizing there’s someone who understands and sadness for the grief over my nonexistent daughter. You are helping more people than you know and it is so much appreciated.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad that my video was comforting to you. You are indeed not alone and I am sorry for your pain and guilt. It is really hard when we have feelings that society shames us for 😞 I hope that you are able to find peace ♥️ sending so much love mama.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes, you are certainly not! I’m sorry that your mother responded that way. I think people think they are being helpful when they say those things and I do think they are coming from a good place, but when our feelings aren’t validated (esp when we already feel bad for having them) it doesn’t help. I had many similar responses and it was really frustrating to hear. I’m glad you are beginning to feel more peace. I am continuing to send you love on this journey. It definitely takes time ♥️

[@caityponn4778]

Thank you for this. I’m currently in the massive headache after crying all night, crying on-and-off stage. It’s my first baby and I always knew I wanted a girl but I didn’t know how upset I’d be about having a boy. I thought I’d be more excited either way but I’m just not.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m so sorry mama. You are not alone and your feelings are valid. Take the time you need to align your mindset for this new little one. You are strong. I’m here if you need to chat ♥️

[@Yassmiinn.]

I'm so sorry. I always wanted a boy , my partner wanted a girl and the day we went to find out I started panicking because what if it was a girl? I couldn't and still can't imagine myself as a girl mom, so much so I've been resenting my partner for longing for a girl, not realizing that I myself would have been gender disappointed if we had had a boy! It's so hard isn't it 😭 You're going to be okay. Sending hugs ❤️

[@caityponn4778]

@@AmandaDeWald Thank you ❤️ It’s been a couple months and I feel so much better! Time helped a lot.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@caityponn4778 yes time does help indeed ♥️ I’m glad you are feeling better!

[@jessfue8985]

I’m so glad I found your video, I haven’t finished watching it but as soon as you stated how you felt when you saw the blue powder is exactly how I am feeling. I just found out yesterday this is my 3rd daughter and I also have a stepdaughter. You can only imagine how bad my husband wanted a little boy as did I. Well I feel like me dreaming and hoping for that little boy is just all dead now. How can you love and hope for someone who never existed. My true disappointment is that this will be my last baby and I will never have a son. All I will do now is just grieve that son that never came to us.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I feel you mama. That pain and disappointment is very real 😞 I hope you are able to find peace throughout the rest of your pregnancy. Sending you so much love!! ♥️

[@bloodymaria2949]

Jess Fue you brought me to tears. My real name is Jessica and yesterday I found out I’m going to have my 3rd daughter. My heart is absolutely broken. I thought this baby was finally my sonshine. This will probably be my last child which means I will never have a son.

[@jessfue8985]

@@bloodymaria2949 I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s definitely hard, I have already been knowing this is my 3rd girl for over a month and I can tell you it’s definitely gotten so much better. I do still feel a little bummed when I see baby boys or videos of people finding out there having a boy. What I have done to help is pick out a name started thinking of how close I will hopefully be with my 3 girls. Its also been so hard because just recently my stepdaughter was given to us full custody so you can imagine now it will be 4 girls in my home I never expected this. Its ok to feel sad and disappointed it doesn’t make you a bad person. I promise it will get better with the days going by, and once baby is born I’m sure you will not even remember that you were hoping for a boy! I have 3 sisters 2 brothers and the bond me and my sisters have is amazing. Thats what gets me through knowing my daughters will be close when they get older.

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

Every Father dreams of a son A boys love for his mom is on another level

[@kjdb3784]

Thank you for your honesty! I can so relate to this right now and it’s so comforting to relate to someone.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m so glad this video brings you some comfort. I am sending you lots of love mama. You are not alone ♥️

[@poopsmckay]

Thank you for sharing. I'm really struggling with this today, and it means a lot to hear about your experience.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am glad that my words brought you some strength ♥️ you are not alone. Sending you love.

[@rurustarsexpressgate6789]

Thanks for posting such a raw video! I been feeling upset, in tears and just plain horrible after finding out what am I am expecting and your video in someway helped me feel better while I cried with you during the video

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m glad I was able to offer in comfort to you in some way. I am sending you so much love mama ❤️ My IG is @amandadewald if you ever need someone to chat with DM me.

[@bloodymaria2949]

Im currently 15weeks pregnant with another girl. I’m absolutely devastated. I will never have my Sonshine. I’m so jealous of mothers with sons... I won’t a boy so badly. My heart is broken and have been mourning the loss of my son that I imagined

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am so sorry mama. I am sending you love!! Be gentle with yourself over these next few days/weeks/months. It takes time ♥️

[@bloodymaria2949]

I can’t thank you enough for your bravery to post this. You are helping so many mamas out there. It feels so good to know I’m not alone.

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Ive always wanted that mom daughter connection that I have with my mom, so this was the main reason I got disappointed finding out about my baby being a boy. Im so scared about not knowing how to raise a boy either:// I’ve always pictured myself as a girl mom and from the start was sure that Im carrying a girl, had a name for her and so many dreams about us bonding. Its just hard to accept the new reality. I dont have anyone to talk to as my husband, as supportive as he is, doesn’t completely understands… hopefully this feeling will pass before my lil boy gets here, its not his fault 🥲 its no ones fault. Thank you for your video ❤️

[@AmandaDeWald]

I understand mama 🥰 I had those feelings and experiences as well. Now having 3 boys with my youngest almost 2, I will say my boys are incredible and they know they are so well loved. I still have days that I yearn for that daughter, but they are few and far between and my boys make me incredibly happy. I’m sorry that you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. If you need a listening ear, I’m always happy to connect on IG. My handle is @amandadewald1 feel free to message me ♥️ you are not alone.

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@AmandaDeWald omg thank you so much! 🙏🏽🙏🏽 if things get tougher and dark, I will use this offer of a listening ear, you are so kind❤️

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@AmandaDeWald i had my baby boy, he is 19m old, and such a blessing 🥲❤️ I love him so much.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@tequilabumbum4373 so so happy for you!!!! 💙

[@melanieg.1410]

Thank you for being open. It is very brave of you to share these very private and vulnerable feelings ❤️ The only thing I would strongly suggest is to not let your son see this video. I think it would be really crushing to someone to feel as though they weren't wanted, even if that's not the case (it can certainly be interpreted that way). Hope this comment doesn't come off wrong. I'm enjoying your videos 🥰

[@AmandaDeWald]

Thanks for your input 😊 I appreciate your support.

[@danis9590]

Thank you for sharing this. Gender disappointment can be so real.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I hope that it was helpful in some way ♥️

[@jessicab331]

Pregnant with my 3rd boy… everything you said I feel… I’m getting my tubes tied next year for sure… I only got a NIPT b/c I knew i would need time. With my 2nd I waited until he was born b/c oh who can be disappointed with a healthy baby?! Yea I knew this time would be different. I’m not even excited to tell ppl about this. I’m glad I could quietly see the results of this NIPT alone. I feel bad because I’m just going to let my partner name him. I don’t even care. I honestly didn’t even think about a baby girl b/c I have no luck… things never go in my favor. Having all these boys revealed a lot of deep trauma I have. I know nothing about boys either. I’ll never be a maternal grandmother or mother of the bride. The daughter in law and granddaughter stuff isn’t the same… If they’re half decent men they’ll go off and do their own thing and I’ll be left alone. On top of other societal issues having 3 blk sons comes with.

[@shanshan3903]

This! third boy too I give up getting my tubes tied so this can’t happen to me again. 3 boys, black boys in this society….I can’t do this again. I don’t even want to talk to anyone about it I’m not excited I’m over it.

[@jessicab331]

@@shanshan3903 I completely understand sis… sending lots of hugs and support… Trust me you are not alone. ❤️

[@mmmillo23]

Thank you for sharing! I too am experiencing gender disappointment as I'm having my second girl. From day one I thought for sure it was a boy and was shocked and so disappointed when the genetic testing was girl. I was in denial and researched wrong genetic results. I am now 31 weeks and have had many confirmations it's a girl. Of course I will love her more than life itself but am mourning the idea of having a boy. You are not alone in your feelings... 💙💟❤

[@AmandaDeWald]

aw thanks mama. I feel you! It takes some time to get over. I had the NIPT test too and I wont lie I spent many nights looking up wrong NIPT results LOL I think a part of me was hoping it was somehow wrong. Just know its OK to be disappointed and we wont feel that way forever.

[@mmmillo23]

@@AmandaDeWald Sending love your way too mama ❤ Congratulations on your precious baby boy ❤

[@AmandaDeWald]

mmmillo23 thanks girl ❤️

[@derschneck8986]

Thank you for this video to share your emotions!❤ It helped me a lot.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m so glad to hear it was helpful for you! ❤

[@natalievanengelen4660]

Thank you for sharing. You are awesome 👏. I loved hearing your honesty 💕

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aw thank you so much for your kind words 🙏❤️

[@vane33a6]

New sub! Like #19 I am HERE for this vlog, girl friend! I plan to create a video like this for next week on my channel. The transparency is appreciated and sheds light on a sensitive area for MOMS 🖤

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aw thanks girl 🙏💙 I appreciate your kind words. I’ll be sure to check yours out next week! Sending love mama

[@vane33a6]

Amanda DeWald I mentioned you in today’s video 🥰✨

[@AmandaDeWald]

Can’t wait to watch it!

[@alisasgrotto]

Thank you for this! I’m on baby #4, which will be our last. I have three boys who I love dearly. But I’ve had gender disappointment with each one of them. Listening to you explain your feelings was very helpful. There’s currently no one I know that has gone through this. Most of my friends have both genders. But to hear how you felt after finding out with your third is the exact same way I felt with ours. I broke down crying on our closet floor for I don’t know how long. But I did get better and became excited. We didn’t know at the time if we’d have a fourth. I wasn’t sure if I could go through it again. But after about a year after our third was born, we decided our family wasn’t complete and we’d be okay if the baby was another boy. I was at a very low point when I found out my third was a boy BUT to have him here now brings me so much joy that I knew I would be ok if baby # 4 was a boy. I’m due in 3 weeks. It’s a surprise. But the closer I get the harder it’s getting. I’m planning on it being a boy so that I don’t feel as disappointed. We had a hard time getting pregnant this time around and I was so thankful to find out we were. But the closer it gets, the more emotional I get and my feelings of wanting a girl come back in full force. Anyways, I’m thankful I found this video because it’s helping me prepare for the possibility of what could happen if it’s a boy. Thanks for being so real. It really does help those of us who are going through the exact same thing. I can’t help my feelings but I’ve felt so guilty for them. So thank you again.

[@AmandaDeWald]

oh mama I feel you

[@alisasgrotto]

Amanda DeWald thank you! Appreciate it! And again appreciate your video. It’s nice to know I’m not alone :).

[@ilovebowling27]

I’m dying to know if your 4th baby was a boy or a girl! 💙💗

[@alisasgrotto]

@@ilovebowling27 it was a boy like I thought. He is the sweetest and Im so in love!! Still want a girl but could not imagine not having our sweet baby boy!

[@ilovebowling27]

Congratulations 🎊 🥰 You were meant to be a boy mama! 🙌🏻💙💙

[@emmabecky4411]

That is me since yesterday when I got the news...I was at work when the gynaecologist called me for my blood test results and told me it's a boy but all along we all and everyone thought it's a girl...it's so different, no sickness, no anything to say am pregnant apart from seeing my belly grow... It felt like being hit by a bus going 120 km per hour untill now I still haven't accepted it deep in me😢😢

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am sending you so much love mama ♥️ it can be such a difficult emotion. You are not alone.

[@rayan9194]

U shouldn’t care what nobody think, I totally understand myself I got my nipt results back and am having a boy so am going tru it now! But god knows best.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes, sending love for a happy healthy pregnancy for you mama ♥️

[@rayan9194]

@@AmandaDeWald thank u💕

[@eunicelove5126]

Currently pregnant 🤰 and I need a son.,have been praying 🙏 for one I have two girls already So help meGod

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending love mama

[@traviesa2186]

I thought I was so alone. Thank you for sharing!

[@AmandaDeWald]

You are not alone mama. Sending you so much love ❤️

[@kaylamcalister8732]

I needed to hear this. Thank you! 💕

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending love mama ❤️

[@samborothkong4192]

You go girl. I just had my ultrasound yesterday and I am having my third boy. I feel sad and guilty not to feel excited to have another boy. I am sad that I won’t be able to have a girl ever because we are done. Three kids are a lot. I cried and could not sleep. I told my husband that it doesn’t make sense. The entire pregnancy I feel so different and I believe I have a girl. I need time to allow myself to over the fact that I will never ever be a girl mom.

[@AmandaDeWald]

oh mama :( I feel you. You are not alone. It will get better, until then allow yourself to feel your feelings and know that it's ok to feel them. Sending you so much love!! If you ever need someone to talk with feel free to reach out to me on IG @amandadewald1. Im happy to listen

[@Blake1720]

Never go off of how you feel during your pregnancy because that doesn’t have anything to do with the gender. I hear a lot of moms say that, but realistically everyone has different pregnancies no matter the gender. I have two boys as well so I feel ya mama. It’s lovely to have them but there’s always that disappointment of the people around you, but that goes away with time and your family just loves them for them! 💙

[@johntracy72]

My brother had gender disappointment at first when he found out his third child was a boy after already having two sons and I was hoping for a girl too, but I wouldn't trade Chris for the world. He's such an awesome boy. He's almost 16 now. We guys can have gender disappointment too.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes for sure! I think my husband had it a bit too at the time, but you are right! When baby comes they are so wonderful and it doesn’t matter 💕 I’m glad Chris is so wonderful 😊 our Adam is as well.

[@mamirts3442]

This is just what i need it right now.. thank you for sharing this is soo helpful and i know that im not the only one

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m glad this is helping you on your journey ♥️ sending love mama!!

[@mamirts3442]

Thank you.. i just found out that its a boy for the 3rd time from ultrasound at 8months.. i feel so sad n shocked!! 3days has passed from dat day..i dnt feel normal since dat day and i cant sleep at night... i wish it was just my dreamm...😭😭😭😅😅

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@mamirts3442 give yourself time mama. It’s definitely something that takes time to sink in. I really think writing out my feelings, picking out a name, and visualizing the future helped me a ton! I hope it helps to bring you peace as well 🙏

[@Troyisful]

Having a specific gender is NEVER a 50%-50%. Men produce more and better quality of a specific gender. Pregnant with my first and it's a boy. We've decided to start saving for IVF to not end up praying for a girl (which we BOTH wanted very much).

[@AmandaDeWald]

Congratulations on your first pregnancy!! ❤

[@Arshaun01]

Thank you for opening up about this.

[@AmandaDeWald]

❤️ I hope it’s helpful to others who may be experiencing similar feelings!

[@doriyailieva5842]

Hi, Amanda, I know it has been a year since you posted this video but I just found it because I am desperately trying to get some comfort, peace and accept the news I had about having a second and last boy two days ago. Thank you for being so honest. I feel the same way and can't stop crying and searching on the Internet crazy and unethical things like would using in vitro can determine your child's gender. I know. It is extremely wrong and I would never actually pursue anything like this but this is how I feel now. I would never be able to replicate the relationship I have with my best friend - my mom and the thought about losing her some day and being all alone in this boy's family makes me stop breathing. Please, let me know how your feelings have progressed since you had your third boy. Will this pass and will I be able to make peace with not having my daughter I have been dreaming for all my life and calling her by her name since I was little? Thank you so much for the support! I needed to see this video because I don't think my family quite understands my feelings. They are trying to but I feel they are a little judgemental. They just keep saying that there are so much worse news a parent can hear on their 20 week scan and that I should pull myself together. I know in my head they are right but my heart still hurts. I know maybe all this is part of a bigger plan we can't understand and I know my children are a huge blessing. ❤️xxxx

[@AmandaDeWald]

Oh sweet mama I feel for you and please know that I am sending you love. It is not easy and when people say things that make you feel bad for feeling your feelings it makes it even worse. Please know that it is OK to feel your feelings and it does NOT make you a lesser person or a bad mom. It is normal and it will pass. It has been over a year since our third little guy blessed our lives and honestly he is truly amazing! He is everything our family needed and he brings all of us so much joy every single day!! Are there days I still get sad about not having a daughter, yes. Mother daughter stuff all over social media can be hard when I’m having an emotional day. But overall the feeling has passed. It does not consume me anymore and I’m sure as time passes more and more it will fade even smaller. I think a tiny part of me will always have some sadness but once your little boy is here it will hurt a lot less!! In the meantime, if you need someone who understands to talk with I am here for you mama! Feel free to connect with me on IG @amandadewald1. I am always here to listen. Sometimes all we need is a listening ear from someone who can relate. Sending love mama ♥️

[@doriyailieva5842]

@@AmandaDeWald ❤️

[@sarahbater7047]

Thanks a lot for sharing your story. My husband and I are expecting out first and only child and be both always imagined and wished for it to be a girl. Guess what: nope.. we are still working thinks out and we hope we can get through it. Thanks a lot ❤️

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending love mama. Congrats on your pregnancy ♥️ I’m here if you need to chat anything through

[@tiffyjacobs7172]

I found out like 3 weeks ago that I’m having a boy. I was and still am so disappointed. I sure hope I’m like you and that I get over this at least after he’s born. I never wanted any boys. Not even 1. I’m not excited at all and I’m not connected with this pregnancy. It’s not good and it scares me. Like you, I’m very girly. I’ve never been into any sports or anything like that. I don’t like getting dirty and rough housing. I have had such a hard time accepting it. Thanks for sharing this video.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending you love mama. I know how hard it can be. I would really encourage you to give him a name and start picturing all the fun things he will bring to your life. I know it’s hard when you are feeling down and disappointed, but that really helped me! I hope it helps you too! I’m here if you need to talk. ❤️

[@tiffyjacobs7172]

@@AmandaDeWald I had him in January and all that went away as soon as I had him! 🩵🩵🩵

[@AmandaDeWald]

So so glad ❤ congratulations mama!!

[@elleunamme8061]

Does someone know about getting pregnant a few days before ovulation and getting pregnant exactly when you have ovulation? Some scientists say if you want to have a girl you have to get pregnant a few days before ovulation and if you want to have a boy exact on that day

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’ve heard this as well, not sure if there is any truth to it 🤷‍♀️

[@galia.8655]

you are very brave to talk about it, nobody can tell you how you felt and if to share it or not. its nothing to do with loving your lovely children since everyone can see th at you love them too death. love and kiss :) and thanks for your openess, maby now some more mom/dad around the globe wont be shame to open up and tell they are a little dissapoitnment with their baby gender reviele but still love their children very much.

[@AmandaDeWald]

thank you for your kind words

[@galia.8655]

@@AmandaDeWald love, and wish you to enjoy enjoy enjoy from your new little angel :) kisses

[@nanni84]

Yup! I an pregnant with our third boy and today I cried when reading a book about bugs for my youngest son at bedtime. 🙈

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am sending you love mama and here if you need someone to talk to! Feel free to reach out on IG @amandadewald1

[@nanni84]

@@AmandaDeWald Thank you, started following you on insta

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@nanni84 I’ll give you a follow back!

[@kirstengarcia3991]

This is me but with three girls. I always knew I wanted both genders but it wasn't until I met my husband that I wanted a boy above all. I wanted I mini version of him because I love him so much. I wanted to be the mom that packed their lunch while they went out for a boys day. None of his siblings have boys so I wanted to give the family their first grandson. And I need to figure out how to let go of that dream. It has nothing to do with my daughters. It's the loss of something you dreamed of.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes exactly! People try to make it about your baby or other kids, but it’s not like that at all. I love all of my children dearly. It’s just like letting go of a dream or a vision you once had for yourself. Sending love mama ♥️

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

Hope u have a boy one day

[@enjoy4081]

Im crying with you even though it’s a year old I’m having my third son and everyone else is having a girl I’m so hurt now

[@AmandaDeWald]

Emotions are so tough because we want to control them, but releasing and accepting them is important. I am here for you mama and I understand ♥️ if you ever need to chat you can always DM me on IG @amandadewald1 I’m happy to talk through your feelings if you need it.

[@dvsdawl]

This is so hard. I had a good friend and we had kids at the same time. I had 2 boys and she has 2 daughters and one son. I feel such anguish every time she posts her perfect baby girl. I can’t bear it. I don’t think I can even remain friends with her anymore, because it’s just too hard on my heart. Sadly, I know sometimes she brags on purpose, like she’s twisting the knife and it makes her feel superior. Wish there was more out there on how to deal with this.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m so sorry mama. 😞 I hope that you are able to work things out with your friend and remain friends. I am sending you lots of love and strength.

[@Ginevra345]

We had twin boys 20 months ago and were both sad that it was two boys as we would love to have a daughter (as well). Now I’m pregnant again and even though we love our boys so much I’d still feel sad if this one turns out to be a boy again, which is a horrible feeling. Such a difficult topic..

[@AmandaDeWald]

It is such a difficult topic. I am sending you love and peace mama ♥️ I’m here if you ever need to talk. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

[@Blake1720]

Did you get your girl?

[@Ginevra345]

Yes pregnant with a girl this time 🥰

[@Blake1720]

@@Ginevra345 That’s amazing!

[@Ginevra345]

@@Blake1720 Aw thank you ❤️

[@Tyraaa721]

Thank you so much for being open and honest I know so many women can relate to this!! I am one of them. I always had dreamed of having a son first so he could be the oldest to protect his siblings. Once I became pregnant with my first child I thought the baby was a boy and picked out names and would rub my belly and say my son this my son that lol I found out at 20 weeks I was carrying a boy the first reaction I had was shock and then I thought my boyfriend at the time was disappointed because he had already had a daughter from a previous relationship but I soon became very happy! When my first daughter was 19 months old I became pregnant again and my husband who never physically had children was happy with a boy or girl but I was still banking I’ll have a boy once we found out it was another girl but I was happy because I have a sister and I thought how fortunate my babygirl would be to have a baby sister 🥰 then when I gave birth to my second daughter when she was 7 weeks old I conceived again me and my husband both thought it was going to be a boy and we found out it was yet again another girl my heart sank I felt disappointment and felt so guilty and so horrible to want the opposite sex. But now having my 3 girls I am so grateful and so fortunate and so happy their bond is so amazing to watch! I am currently trying one more time to conceive yet again hoping we’ll get our baby boy but knowing even if she’s a little girl she will be deeply loved and cherished 💖

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aww mama I relate so much to this and can understand your feelings. The worst part is how we beat ourselves up about feeling that way so it’s like double torture for a feeling we have very little control over in the first place. I’m so happy to hear that your 3 girls are wonderful together and I wish you luck in conceiving your 4th baby. Sending lots of baby dust your way!!!

[@Tyraaa721]

Amanda DeWald Thank you so much!! 😍🥰💖 my husband also said we were done after 3 but with a little convincing he’s decided to start trying right before our youngest turns 1 in August this is TTC 2 so I’m not sure how you and and your husband feel about someday trying for a fourth but anything is possible 😇💖

[@AmandaDeWald]

Tyra Parham I would try for a 4th, but my husband has made it pretty clear he is done after this one. We shall see though!

[@Tyraaa721]

Amanda DeWald You and your family are added to my prayer list 🙏🏽😇💖🥰

[@hanxx6257]

Thanks for this currently pregnant can’t find out the gender yet too early but I really have a boy I really want a girl because I get so sick when I’m pregnant and I don’t think I can do it again I’d feel sad to not give my partner a daughter because I feel he would be a great girl dad x

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending you love mama! ♥️

[@jackieobrien6644]

Always be greatful that you have a healthy baby,my second baby a boy passed away at 6 days old ,My next child was a girl.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am so sorry to hear about your baby boy 😔 there is never a day I’m not grateful for my children. Babies are always a blessing.

[@amarisquijije6882]

This happened to me when I was pregnant with my daughter I really wanted a boy but I love my little girl just took some time to process now I’m pregnant now and hoping this a boy I don’t trust the blood work I’m waiting until my ultrasound

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes, our littles bring us so much joy regardless of gender 🥰, but when we have a vision in our mind and that’s altered it can for sure take some getting used to. Congratulations on your pregnancy mama ❤️ sending so much love your way!

[@katerinavankova2416]

I’m just going through this. I’m grieving my little girl so much, I’ve lost excitement about preparing anything for the baby, I feel no connection, I don’t like any boy names, I can’t stand boy toys.. I know I will love him, but all my close friends are having girls and they didn’t even care what gender and I really wanted a girl and I’m the only one not getting one. It breaks my heart

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m so sorry mama, I know it can feel really hard and unfair. Just know you are not alone and we are sending love your way! I promise it does get easier 🤍 I’m here if you need to chat! You can always DM me over on IG @amandadewald1

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

There are many families that will take your newborn son. Give him up to adoption Lotta mothers don't want sons. No shame start the family adoption process ASAP. Then you will recover emotionally

[@nicolethomas3538]

It's not dramatic, it's sad, honey. My first and probably only baby is going to be a Boy... I think you're bound to feel some sort a way no matter what gender it is💜

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Are you feeling better now? I too want only one child, and have found out that its a boy :// I hate feeling like this but I cant help it😞

[@nicolethomas3538]

@@tequilabumbum4373 well, a lot has happened within a year... ended up pregnant two months later🙄 with another boy💙 to answer your question- yes, I do feel better. I don't think I was down about having a boy, but just sorta sad about things like doin hair, that sort of stuff. I'm very happy with being a boy mom. I had my boyfriend get snipped👀 so no surprises for me. I hope this helps.

[@Yassmiinn.]

@@nicolethomas3538 why did you think he'd be your only baby? 😂

[@jessicab331]

@@Yassmiinn.we are happy you got what you wanted! Why are you under all these videos being an 🫏?!

[@jessicab331]

@@Yassmiinn.we are happy you got what you wanted! Why bare you under all these videos being an 🫏?!

[@202Starlett]

Thank you. I'm definitely having a hard time. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending you so much love mama ♥️

[@priscilacoulter2503]

Thank you so much for sharing

[@chinacrosby-leslie5104]

Thank you for your honesty. I have 3 boys and love them to bits but im currently pregnant with our 4th surprise baby and we find out the gender tomorrow an im so scared we really want a girl. I never had gender disapointment with the boys but I do feel now like if this baby isn't a girl ill be crushed!! I feel like this baby has come an taken us by surprise because its the girl my husband has always wanted, but i worry if thats not the case I'll go back to finding it difficult to except the pregnancy. Xx

[@AmandaDeWald]

Awww I feel you mama. I had so much anxiety about finding out but I knew I wanted time to adapt to whatever the outcome was going to be and I am glad we found out early and had time to adjust bc we all really thought it was a girl. Just know that IF it’s not, the feeling won’t last forever and give yourself grace and allow yourself time to adjust. Sending you so much love mama ❤️ good luck at your reveal and I hope that you are pleasantly surprised with what you are yearning for!! If you ever need to chat I am happy to listen.

[@tequilabumbum4373]

What was it at the end, a boy or a girl?

[@chinacrosby-leslie5104]

@@tequilabumbum4373 we got our girl and then had a second girl 9 weeks ago.

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@chinacrosby-leslie5104 thats amazing, congratulations 🤗🤗🥰

[@chinacrosby-leslie5104]

@@tequilabumbum4373 thank you! 😊

[@denissearychz6399]

Has anyone have tried the tricks to help conceive a girl/boy on the internet. Or has anyone tried to do the expensive IVF to make the gender selection?

[@AmandaDeWald]

I have not.

[@mals.5843]

Dont give up, have faith in god, maybe you will have girl in the future❤❤❤

[@jillian2563]

I have two sons and a Step son. I’m pregnant with our last (unplanned) and it’s a girl. I’m so disappointed because I wanted another boy. I don’t know anything about girls, and I am scared that I won’t do a good job raising her. My littlest one wanted a little brother too. It’s just not what I thought would happen.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am sending love your way mama ❤️ I can see how that could feel scary. The unknown is definitely a scary thing. I’m sure you are a great mom though and I’m sure after the adjustment period you will be a pro girl mom too! Best wishes on your new journey and the addition to your family!

[@samreenahmad9264]

I have 3 daughters and will love to have a boy. But I couldn't keep on going unless its confirmed that its gonna be a boy, which is not possible, So for now 3 kids. But my family feels incomplete.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I hope you find some peace mama ❤

[@SohaibKhan1]

Best wishes

[@johntracy72]

You sound like an awesome boy mom.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aw thanks ♥️ you are sweet

[@kimlibrisk9968]

Trust me i had this a year ago i was crying everyday

[@AmandaDeWald]

😞 it can be a lot and pregnancy hormones surely amplify the emotions. Thanks for sharing, it’s helpful to know we are not the only ones who are/have gone through it. ❤️

[@backinthesaddle394]

Thank you for sharing this, I've wanted a daughter all my life. I have two brothers so does my husband. I have two sons Dan and Ben there 23 and 22. I have tried for years for my girl including acupuncture cycle times the she titles method even adoption but nothing worked . I tried in the girl time and got pregnant but lost it at 7 weeks. I want to do I vf but can't afford it, plus they only do gender selection abroad. I'm going through a severe depression at the moment because I'm approaching 50, and know that for me it's never going to happen. I'm devastated I will never have the mother daughter bond the girlie shopping trips all the great stuff girls do. But mostly I'm so alone , my son Daniel is disabled so he will probably not have children, my other son doesn't want children so I probably won't even be a grandma . No one understands my grief I feel that I'm being punished and that I'm not good enough and don't deserve a daughter.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aww mama I am sending you so much love! Please know that you are not alone, there are lots of us who share your disappointment. I hope that you are able to find peace ♥️ and I hope that the future surprises you with what you desire. Sending lots of love your way!!

[@backinthesaddle394]

Amanda DeWald Thank you so much for your love and support. I know there are so many ladies out there going through the same thing as me. I prey they get there dream. I hope you are right with the future surprising me, but if not I have two wonderful boys with who me I'm so very grateful for. X God bless you.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@backinthesaddle394 yes mama

[@42indifferent]

Its never to late for a mother daughter relationsship, even with 50 ivf is an option or think of beeing a nanny to other families? I m sure you ll find a way to get the bond you nee

[@TheRadtech2011]

I just found out I’m having another boy and I’m so sad. I’m happy and excited but also sad because I know this is our last child and I will Never have a daughter. My husband mentioned adopting but I feel like it’s not the same. I wanted my own blood daughter ... which makes me feel even more horrible.

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am so sorry. I understand your feelings. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and work through them. It’s so hard when we feel happy and excited for our baby (any gender) but also at the same time feel feelings of loss for what “might have been”. I am sending you much love mama ♥️ it takes time. Be gentle with yourself and enjoy all the love this new boy will bring to you and your family!

[@umat.j8822]

Hi zAmanda.. me also have the same feeling..I wanted two girls in my life. But I got two boys.. buts the most disappointing thing is all my 5 cousins got boys and girls including my sister in law. All my best friends also. Me only get two boys...when They are talking about their girly things feel very sad.why God do this to me..no girl child means life is no complete. I don't become a perfect mother . I am punished So many different thoughts. I can't control my feelings.. . Behaving so indifferent

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am so sorry 😞 I am sending you so much love and strength mama ♥️

[@amandam1636]

Yep, 4th and last baby is a 4th boy 😭 trying to find peace and struggling

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending you lots of love mama. Allow yourself to feel your feelings ♥️

[@arkleston3299]

To me, meeting my soulmate, would always trump the gender of any child I would have. Romantic success is the most important thing of all. All boys, meh. All girls, whatever. Lucky in love is the be all and end all.

[@AmandaDeWald]

finding a soulmate is such a beautiful thing ❤

[@yaelkibel3700]

Thank you thank you thank you!

[@AmandaDeWald]

🙏♥️

[@pavlamutinska4139]

Thank you for being honest... I'm crying for few days already. It's going to be a boy.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending love your way mama ❤ I’m here if you need to talk about it.

[@ChildOfGod0777]

The beautiful thing is, i had 3 daughters, i really wanted a son!! But i didnt get one but so far now 2 of my daughter's have baby boys, so i have 2 beautiful grandsons, and my third daughter is pregnant we will find out what she is gonna have when she gives birth..she wants a surprise!!...I pray you have beautiful grand daughter's ❤️💕💖

[@AmandaDeWald]

How lovely ❤ what a blessing! Enjoy those grandsons 🫶🏼

[@ChildOfGod0777]

@@AmandaDeWald Thank you, I enjoy them immensely! Love on your boys, and enjoy every moment being a boy mom!! What a special gift raising great men in this world!!

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes it truly is a gift 🩵🙏🏼

[@Feliseia444]

I hate being a boy mom! i have 3 boys and its torture.... im a mess all the time crying

[@AmandaDeWald]

I’m so sorry mama 😔 have you tried connecting with other boy moms? I find that helpful.

[@Feliseia444]

@@AmandaDeWald its taking forever but i really do see how lucky i am....

[@Feliseia444]

@@AmandaDeWald this video was needed CANT THANK U ENOUGH!!!

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@Feliseia444 ❤️❤️

[@rosiep2021]

What the fuck. Gender disappointment at first is normal but “hating” the gender of your alive children is absolutely wild. You should not have had kids.

[@chasevarner2266]

I love this video!

[@AmandaDeWald]

Thank you, it was not easy to film but I knew I wasn’t the only one out there feeling the way I did and wanted to be able to help them or at the very least let them know that they are not alone

[@yadigarcia3968]

Hi... I know its bbn long time since you post this video im currently crying watching it im currently pregnant with my 4 girl and im having a really hard time accepting im not gonna have a little boy in our family it just hearts a lor😢😏

[@AmandaDeWald]

I am so sorry mama! I know how you are feeling and it can feel so tough 😞 please know that I am sending you so much love!! ♥️ if you haven’t given her a name yet and started visualizing what she will be like I would encourage you to do that, that was super helpful for us! It will get easier mama. If you ever need to chat feel free to message me on IG @amandadewald1 I’m happy to talk through it.

[@donnabrown4349]

I had 3 sons, then 2 grandsons and now a granddaughter.

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aw ♥️ do you spoil her? 😊

[@veronicavelasquez557]

I love this thank you so much for sharing I know this video was 2 years ago but it has definitely been hard on me not having a baby girl I always dreamt of only having girls my whole family is girls and I love our bond we women have and that I have with my cousin and sister I have two boys and we are trying to sway for a girl and even if it doesn’t work I still know I will have some gender disappointment knowing women like us are not alone and our feelings are valid and there is a way to be happy without having a daughter is the only way to keep going we love our children and if we have 4 boys then I know I will be sad but I will be ok this will be our third if I am pregnant but trying to get myself ready to have another boy just in case so I’m not so surprised and I protect myself a little bit more from the heartache if it turns out it’s not a girl❤

[@AmandaDeWald]

Yes, you are not alone. I am sending you so much love mama ♥️ I’m glad this video was helpful for you in this time.

[@Rayane016]

Its so brave of you to open up about this! I myself have the biggest dream to have boys and boys only, I wouldn't have a problem if I had 4 boys in a row. hahahahaha I don't picture myself having a girl... And the idea of having 3 girls.... My God, I don't want to go through this ever, I actually prefer not to have kids. I hope I get to change my mind a bit when it finally happens, I'm guessing it will take a while because I dont even have a boyfriend. I hope you guys have the best life and know that your family is actually my dream family. With 3 princes. ♥

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aww you are so sweet. Thank you for those kind words

[@liliansteiner6083]

To make a genderparty if the mother already knows that she will be disappointement of one of the gender, is may not a good idea.

[@jennifermaskiell8664]

I have 4 sons 💙💙💙💙 6,5,2 and 6 months 💜

[@AmandaDeWald]

Boy moms unite! 💙 congrats on your youngest! Our little guy just turned 5 months, so they are real close!

[@johntracy72]

One thing I noticed you said was that your husband and both your sons wanted your third child to be a girl. They were on your side there, Amanda.

[@djfhfh]

I thought i was the most disgusting horrible mother in the world.. Im 9 weeks pregnant and the last 3 weeks all i have done is cry. I will be devestated if this baby is another boy. I cant stop feeling like this and i feel so horrible, if my baby is a boy of course i will love him with all my heart.. But i will grieve for the daughter i always thought i would have and never did.. If its a boy.. Then i feel lile there will be something wrong as punishment for feeling this way.. I feel like i need to grieve the loss of a daughter so i can prepare myself for it being a boy... When i was 8 i used to watch the tiny kids from nursery coming into the playground and one had red hair like mines.. I always loooked at her even then and thought my little girl will look just like her when i have her one day when im big 💔.. I suppose the daughter that will come to be has been with me ever since, i smiled while my sister in law had 3 girls, when my best friend had 3 girls, when my friend said id like a girl this time and got a girl id like a boy and got a boy, what have they done to make them more worthy than me 😢 my son has speical needs and i love him beyond words but all my friends had healthy children wanted girls got girls... Why can't that happen for me.. Ive pretty muchv convinced myself this babys a boy because i cannot live with hope if that's all it is.. My sister law says youll never have a girl i just dont think it will ever happen for you 💔... In time youll thank god for unanswered prayers ♥ wow i feel better for getting that off my chest i havent told a soul

[@AmandaDeWald]

Aww mama you are not disgusting. You are an incredible mom and it’s OK to feel all that you are feeling. It makes me so sad that we feel so guilty about everything as moms. We are human and we are allowed to sit in our feelings sometimes. I am sending you so much love and if you feel like you need someone to talk to I am always happy to connect on IG. My handle is @amandadewald1. You are NOT alone and I feel you and hear you. ♥️

[@djfhfh]

@@AmandaDeWald thank you ☺ i woke this moring feeling so much better i guess id bottled it up so much finally saying it has really helped, i know if its another beautiful son i will blessed beyond words.. Just hard now espically helping my friends pick big frilly communion dresses! Lol

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@djfhfh I’m glad you woke up feeling better. Another boy will be a blessing and I totally get it. All of my pregnant friends right now are having girls and it’s still hard some days. We love Adam so much and he is seriously amazing. Regardless, there will always be that place in my heart that longed for a daughter. I don’t think that will ever FULLY go away.

[@Blake1720]

@@djfhfh how are you feeling now? I hope things are okay. 🙏

[@djfhfh]

@@Blake1720 I had a girl but the guilt of how I felt will always be there I think , now I'm dealing with bad postpartum hairloss, why is there always something to worry about 😔

[@denisehupka]

I want baby boy badly god listen to me.someone pray for me pls pls pls

[@AmandaDeWald]

Sending love mama ❤

[@lil-mumma-adventures]

Well done for been honest 😁

[@shan7180]

It's a horrible feeling I know.

[@AmandaDeWald]

♥️ sending love mama

[@tiffanyortiz80]

When I found out I was having a boy I was sad

[@AmandaDeWald]

Are you pregnant now? How far along are you mama?

[@tiffanyortiz80]

@@AmandaDeWald no, I am not pregnant my son is 5 years old. My husband and I are wanting to expand our family. So we have been talking about having only one more baby but I want this baby to be a girl. But I'm scared it won't so having the second baby is on hold because I'm scared. So I'm trying to get to a place where I will be okay no matter which gender it is. The part of your video that said it's okay to mourn resonated with me.

[@AmandaDeWald]

@@tiffanyortiz80 oh gotcha. Yes, we didn’t start trying until I was ok with the fact that it could be another boy and then when I found out I still wasn’t ok like I thought, but majority of my pain dissipated after about a week or two, so I think mentally preparing myself to be ready for the possibility of 3 boys before hand hand helped. I wish you much luck on your journey when you decide to try and I hope that you are happy with the outcome 🙏♥️ sending love! Ps. If it makes you feel any better, even with 3 boys I am still 100% glad we had another.

[@Lolita_smile]

i feel you... please try next time maybe you will have a daughter

[@AmandaDeWald]

Thanks girl. We are done after this one, but I’m feeling much better now about having 3 boys. Def needed some time to process and let my feelings out.

[@Blake1720]

I mean how many kids do people want? What if she has another boy? Then she has to worry about their future regardless of gender and all the responsibilities of having another child.

[@mals.5843]

I love boys , wish i had 3 boys ❤ ❤❤

[@katie8325]

Hopefully therapy would help with this. It seems like a huge projection on to a child. Not all behaviour is determined by gender. Even if you had a girl, she may not be super girly and you may not be close. Equally a son may not be stereotypically male and into sports etc. It’s so dangerous for people to project this on to children. They don’t exist to fulfil in a fantasy for the parents. I feel sorry for kids who are made to feel this way.

[@AmandaDeWald]

All my children feel loved and I would guarantee if you asked them they don’t feel stereotyped. We are confident that we raise our children with love and acceptance for all that they are. I do agree that children should never have any behaviors or stereotypes forced onto them. This isn’t really about that. When you have an image of how you think your life will be and then that turned out to be different it can be shocking and sometimes distressing. However if there is one thing I have learned in life is that there is beauty in the unknown and we are given what is right for us. Most of what has transpired in my life wasn’t what I expected but it is all so beautiful and I am forever grateful as I am sure all of the other women commenting here feel. This isn’t a video or post about hate or stereotypes or any of that. It is about recognizing real feelings that come up and navigating them so we can embrace and enjoy all of what life chooses to give us. Thank you for your comment but I think you may have misjudged a little. Much love to you on your journey.

[@kenyawheaten2157]

I was thinking you should adopt a little girl.

[@alarmz4344]

Have you considered adopting a girl?

[@AmandaDeWald]

Not at this time. I think our home is pretty full 🥰

[@rosiep2021]

You can’t chose gender of your adopted child

[@GyutaroUpper6]

I understand the problem but as a son I would feel offended to know that my mother would have wanted another person in my place...